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>> No. 436810 Anonymous
10th May 2020
Sunday 11:10 am
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Are most people in a relationship happy?

I seem to have a number of friends who like to portray themselves as being in a perfect relationship when the reality tends to be markedly different. Do people stay in an unhappy relationship because they find it preferable to being alone or they find the breakup itself too much hassle; you have to unwind yourself financially from someone, you may be accustomed to the lifestyle supported by two incomes, there may be kids involved, you may feel there's social stigma involved in a failed relationship or you simply lack the balls to do initiate it. Do a lot of people just settle?

I'd be interested to know your thoughts.
Expand all images.
>> No. 436811 Anonymous
10th May 2020
Sunday 11:37 am
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My parents have been together for almost forty years now. My dad has retired and my mum could easily afford to as well but she's planning on working part-time for as long as she is able to because she knows otherwise she'd probably end up killing him. She's a member of a few groups, like a rambling club, that get her out of the house so I guess one of the key things for a long-term relationship is not to lose sight of being your own person and spending time apart pursuing your own interests and hobbies. I think lockdown is going a bit better than she expected, though.
>> No. 436812 Anonymous
10th May 2020
Sunday 11:41 am
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Great thread. Probably not a helpful contribution, but this is massively down to individual experience. I find it hard to generalise across people.

Speaking for myself, I can say I'm definitely leading a fuller life than I was when I was single, but I've had to develop a very clear set of expectations from the relationship. Getting close to someone won't necessarily bring you meaning or purpose, but it may enrich the other goals you have. It probably won't bring you material security, but pitching in with a willing partner might help. It won't consolidate your position in some social hierarchy or make you feel like you fit in society, but it might make you more confident and like you have more of an investment in living well. It probably won't heal all your past psychological wounds, but sharing life with someone may ease the burden. You see the pattern I'm getting at.

Right now I'm with someone, it's coming up to a year together. I admire her a lot and while she does occasionally get on my nerves, there's a tremendous amount of affection and I find her really attractive. I'm making an effort to be patient. Rather than feeling frustrated or betrayed when she doesn't meet what I want, I'm just trying to appreciate what she is and what she brings to my life. I get the sense that she's doing the same. It may develop into more, maybe not, but we are very much individuals who can work out if it's all worthwhile. And right now it feels very good.

There's also another interesting aspect to what you're saying. Not to flatter myself, but I feel like my current girlfriend and I are on equal terms in the sense of how bold and social we are, and in general "attractiveness" or ability to find people to date. It's not as though we'd have no options if we broke up, but we're both independent enough and happy by ourselves that we're not keeping back-burner partners (at least I can say that for myself, and I would find it more sad than anything for her if she felt the need to do that).

Sorry if this post comes off as gloating as I know we do have some lads here who really struggle with this and the dating scene in general, which I agree is a destruction derby if you don't navigate it extremely carefully and in conjunction with a lot of other efforts.
>> No. 436813 Anonymous
10th May 2020
Sunday 12:02 pm
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>>436810
I'm not sure. I observe that a lot of people "settle" and put up with who/what they've got at a certain point.

I have been with my partner for twenty years - life has thrown a few things at us like everyone, but we're a very strong unit, particularly with regard to how we parent. I am very happy in that relationship. Like >>436811 we have found that lockdown has gone absolutely fine, because we get on so well - I dread to think what less stable home life looks like at the moment and feel for the many in that situation.
>> No. 436814 Anonymous
10th May 2020
Sunday 12:02 pm
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I've always seemed to effortlessly end up in new relationships, not to brag or anything, but I just seem to have something that makes it easy to slip into a new partnership relatively quickly. I've not stayed single for longer than about six months over the last decade. But with that said, I've yet to experience the complete all encompassing love some people seem to. With the exception of perhaps my first girlfriend, who I adored, betrayed me, and probably ultimately is responsible for the fact I haven't felt anything nearly as strong since. But that's a different conversation.

Yes, frankly, I think a lot of people settle. I've been told that I'm callous in the way I'll cut off a relationship that seems to be getting boring or reaching a dead end, but I don't see it that way. I see it as being honest and doing the right thing for the other person, allowing them to find someone more suitable instead of someone who's fed up of them after only a year or two. But I have many friends who have ended up marrying the same person they started dating when they were 21, and I've been there to witness all the ups and downs, all the bitching and moaning and griping about how they can't shag someone fitter and so on. Maybe I'm just hard to please, maybe it's just that I've got more patience and tolerance for the dating game than my mates, but they seem to have been content to just say "Yeah, fuck it, she'll do", rather like walking into a clothes shop and just buying the first jeans in your size, instead of spending more time looking for some really nice ones.

That said I'm in a relationship at the moment that really might last. It's the first time I've been with someone who is quite genuinely the same as me. I've always been that nerd who somehow has a normal partner, and I've always thought of it as balancing me out to have a partner who pushes me to do more "normal people" things instead of sitting there on Total War all day, but in reality I think it's always been a source of conflict. Now I've got a girlfriend who sits at the desk next to me playing CRPGs until 3 in the morning, who never asks me to watch I'm A Celebrity with her or whatever, and that's much more harmonious.

She's also got a literal porno cunt, so there's that too.
>> No. 436816 Anonymous
10th May 2020
Sunday 12:35 pm
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>>436813

>we have found that lockdown has gone absolutely fine, because we get on so well - I dread to think what less stable home life looks like at the moment and feel for the many in that situation

I think a relationship is always relatively easy to maintain and keep up when things are going well and there are no obstacles to overcome that put your relationship to the test. My cousin's wife is a lawyer who specialises in family and divorce law, and she told me once that autumn is always a busy time in that field, because people come home from their summer holidays, during which they came to the realisation that they can no longer fucking stand to be with their spouse. And apparently a second peak is after Christmas in the new year.

If your relationship lasts through summer holidays and the odd global pandemic lockdown now and then, then it says a lot about how well you are matched. Even moving in together can be less of a test for a relationship than having to spend two weeks together almost 24/7 with nowhere else to go. Because you normally have jobs and careers to get up for in the morning and which mean that you effectively only spend around twelve hours of a weekday together, if that.
>> No. 436817 Anonymous
10th May 2020
Sunday 2:13 pm
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>>436810

>Are most people in a relationship happy?
I hope so.

>Do people stay in an unhappy relationship because they find it preferable to being alone or they find the breakup itself too much hassle; you have to unwind yourself financially from someone, you may be accustomed to the lifestyle supported by two incomes, there may be kids involved, you may feel there's social stigma involved in a failed relationship or you simply lack the balls to do initiate it. Do a lot of people just settle?

I've certainly know the sort who will seem to actively refuse to leave a relationship even when the writings on the wall and everyone involved was fucking miserable. It seemed to be a combination of the fear of being alone, faith in the institution, and a weird pretention of "oh no I'm not one of those people who dates around", it got to the point of physical violence before they actually broke up years after it was obvious they were unhappy. Frankly I think they would have never ripped that bandage off otherwise so it needed to come to blows for it to end, their egos-story simply wouldn't allow it otherwise.

Conversely my last partner who the similarities are so numerous I can't even begin to list them off, decided after 3 years of living together, that they dislike the idea of living with another human being and that the relationship would only continue if I moved out, and having a relationship with that lack of intimacy is such an absurd step back to me, it might as well not be a relationship. When I dug down what they envisioned was me to be round theirs all the time like before but with the expectation of control that they weren't sharing anything, and obviously all at an additional inconvenience to me maintaining another flat. joke on them, as I was moving out corvid hit so now we are [b]both[//b]not in a relationship and living together.

There has to be some sweet spot of human intimacy between the extremes of the examples above of the person who cares about the relationship so badly they will drive themselves to insanity for it, and the person who is incapable of opening up and sharing their life. I feel like I am saying something normal people would assume is so obvious other people wouldn't think it was a possibility that people would fall into those traps but there you are.


What is the running theme in both of these examples is that I don't think these people actually cared about the other person enough to think about what was best for them. I believe relationships require a surrendering of the self, but not to the idea of the relationship, but to the happiness of both parties. I think this is why people get so angry or upset when they are cheated on, because it isn't just a transaction, it is an opening up of the soul to someone else they have put in labour far beyond what anyone could as of them normally. And yet that doesn't seem to be understood by some, they are ‘relationship zombies’ in the ‘philosophical zombies’ sense, these are just the conventions they have learned you do, they don’t have the underlying reasons that are supposed to drive them, I don't think everyone people start that way but some slip into it. Whereas others that is all they know, and I suppose who am I to be critical of these people if they find each other?

Reflecting on it, I could very well have continued in that relationship above but it would have never been what I feel a relationship should be, I would be surrendering my life to being one of those zombies.
>> No. 436818 Anonymous
10th May 2020
Sunday 3:12 pm
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>>436817
>I've certainly know the sort who will seem to actively refuse to leave a relationship even when the writings on the wall and everyone involved was fucking miserable

I have a friend who doesn't like breaking up with people because she doesn't want to be seen as the bad guy and make someone else miserable. In a similar vein she has led so many lads on over the years because she doesn't want to hurt their feelings by telling them she is not interested.

Every single time she has ended a relationship it has been to leave a lad for someone else. She cannot be alone. The existing relationship is already dead and buried in her head but she will carry it on until someone else is lined up and the poor lad doesn't have a clue anything is wrong until she ups and leaves one day seemingly out of the blue.
>> No. 436819 Anonymous
10th May 2020
Sunday 3:26 pm
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Wherever you go, there you are. Happy people generally have happy relationships; miserable people generally have miserable relationships. A lot of people think that a relationship will save them from themselves, but it doesn't work like that. However much time you spend with your partner, you've got to live with yourself 24/7.
>> No. 436820 Anonymous
10th May 2020
Sunday 3:35 pm
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>>436818
>Every single time she has ended a relationship it has been to leave a lad for someone else. She cannot be alone. The existing relationship is already dead and buried in her head but she will carry it on until someone else is lined up and the poor lad doesn't have a clue anything is wrong until she ups and leaves one day seemingly out of the blue.

Every single woman is like this. Literally 100% of them.
>> No. 436821 Anonymous
10th May 2020
Sunday 3:44 pm
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>>436820
By the way I'm not saying there's necessarily anything wrong with it. But it's about as insightful as saying "I have a female friend who has two fatty lumps on her chest" or "I have a female friend who prefers to keep her hair a little bit longer than most men tend to". It's just life. Call me sexist, I don't give a fuck.
>> No. 436822 Anonymous
10th May 2020
Sunday 4:29 pm
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>>436821

I don't think it is all women, or even most women. But there definitely is prevalent enough for it to be an understood cliche that most people have encountered it in their lives.

>By the way I'm not saying there's necessarily anything wrong with it.

I don't see why, it is the shitty behaviour of a coward at best, and the transactional process of a sociopath at worst.

If you are going to piss and moan about it actually take a stand against it.

It wasn't a sexist thing to say you don't like bad behaviour until you decided that it was all women who do it. The judging of the behaviour isnt sexist the generalisation as if women are incapable of any different is.
>> No. 436823 Anonymous
10th May 2020
Sunday 4:40 pm
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>>436822
Sorry mate but I don't agree. I don't think I can know that it's cowardly or sociopathic because I was born into a world that automatically takes me seriously and cares about what I have to say. Would I feel the same if I was born into a world where nobody gave a fuck about me and everyone instinctively wanted to make excuses for me being murdered by partner? Maybe. Maybe not.

I don't wear make-up. I can't imagine wearing make-up. But can I say I wouldn't wear make-up if I was a woman? If everyone that I had ever met just expected me to make my face pretty for them, everywhere I went, forever? The only honest answer is: I don't know.
>> No. 436824 Anonymous
10th May 2020
Sunday 5:01 pm
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>>436823

You didn't even assimilate my post you just went into a conditioned reply about "who am I to pass judgement?", this statement tells me 2 things the first is that you are happy to live your life as a spectator never getting involved, and the second that you purposefully and deliberately hold women to a lower standard than you hold men.

>world that automatically takes me seriously and cares about what I have to say

You condescending prick. You know perfectly well no one automatically gives a shit about what a man has to say, homelessness and suicide wouldn't be so much more absurdly higher in men if that was true. I didn't quite understand how you could square the circle, and then I realised this is all projection, you treat women with contempt that's why you both can make sweeping statements about their behaviour, and such transparent pandering, because you think they are all too stupid to to see your insincerity.

You can make a little speech about how tough it is to be a woman in a man's world and you are off the hook. fishing isn't about being nice to women, it is about treating them like nuanced human beings. What you are doing in your over politeness whilst loathing them is chauvinism.
>> No. 436825 Anonymous
10th May 2020
Sunday 5:06 pm
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>>436820
I've heard this phenomenon described as 'monkey-branching'. I don't know if that's a real thing or if my recently-divorced friend was just improvising.
>> No. 436826 Anonymous
10th May 2020
Sunday 5:08 pm
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>>436824

This. It's classic nice guy shit he's spouting.
>> No. 436827 Anonymous
10th May 2020
Sunday 5:12 pm
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>>436824
I'm probably more adept at climbing a tree than somebody like you with this MRA bullshit granddad. Sorry I took you seriously enough to reply.
>> No. 436829 Anonymous
10th May 2020
Sunday 5:30 pm
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>>436827

How fucking mental do you need to be to think that telling you not to condescend to women is MRA?
>> No. 436831 Anonymous
10th May 2020
Sunday 6:10 pm
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>>436825
I've Googled it and it's apparently a thing.

I don't know why people are pretending men don't do it. My boss was unhappy with his wife for years and eventually left her for one of the admin lasses he was shagging. He's a giant manchild and I really offended him once by suggesting that people should live on their own for a few years to develop personally and gain independence rather than only leaving their parents' house; some men want to be perpetually mothered.
>> No. 436837 Anonymous
10th May 2020
Sunday 7:09 pm
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>>436831

I think by and large it's still more women than men who will stay in a shit relationship and keep putting up with it while there are no alternatives.

I've been on both ends of it, and by contrast, the times I actually actively ended a relationship myself really were because there were things I just wasn't going to take any longer, and I felt that I was better off alone than spend another day with that person. Even the temporary misery of singlehood was a better prospect.

One reason why it often hits guys seemingly without warning when their girlfriend breaks up and leaves them for another lad is that men aren't generally good at reading nonverbal cues and all the subtleties that women give off. On the other hand, it is a skill that you can learn unless you're too far down the 'spectrum. Women may be complex and sometimes fickle creatures, but the telltale signs tend to always be the same. And women invariably give off those signals when they are unhappy in a relationship. You can count on that.

Then again, understanding women's cues doesn't make it easier. One or two times, I knew the relationship was in trouble, and I understood the signs that she was giving off, and I knew that they meant I was eventually going to be in for a rough landing. And there comes a point when it's not anymore just a matter of changing some of your ways to make her change her mind about maybe, maybe not leaving you. The reasons why she hates you will lie in the past and cannot be undone just by starting to ask her every night how her day was. You try to ignore it, and think of something else whenever you can, but then it hits you again that somebody is unstoppably slipping away. I guess ignorance is bliss.
>> No. 436838 Anonymous
10th May 2020
Sunday 8:15 pm
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>>436837

I'm pretty sure most lads do see the signs, if they're honest with themselves. It really isn't something that requires psychic empath skills, you can always tell when the paint is starting to chip. I think most people just feel helpless to stop it, or more realistically, the fact is just that what would actually fix the situation would require one or both partners not just changing some aspect of their behaviour, but really changing part of their personality. So instead they just hold on and hope.

I've seen one or two situations over the years where a lad (and in one case I've been in that situation from the other side) tries their level best to save a failing relationship, but I'm of the opinion that once the other person's mind has been made up that they've had enough, that's just about it. You can't change their mind by taking them out for dinner more often or getting a new haircut or buying them some flowers. They're already entering a stage where they actively dislike you and don't want to spend time with you.

I think we really put more stock in the window dresing of a relationship than is warranted. We read more complexity into human behaviour than is really there. At theend of the day the vast majority of time youspend with a partner is to have your dinner with them and watch a bit of telly after work. The most important thing is that you don't clash horribly during those fundamental bits. It's vital that their snoring doesn't drive you livid, or they don't leave their empty mugs all over the place, or whatever other little petty thing will drive you loopy.

I think women are just worse for the "monkey branching" thing than men, because beyond a very slim window in their early 20s, being single and sleeping around is very heavily stigmatised for them. If they reach 30 and they're still living alone they're either a wine aunt or cat lady in the making. Whereas a man over 30 living on his own is seen as perhaps a bit of a sad-act, and people will make those overgrown bachelor jokes about how his house must be a constant mess because men can't look after a house, it's not quite the same thing.

There are exceptions to evey generalisation you can make of course. I know one bloke at work who should be guaranteed to die alone because he's such an incredibly boring motherfucker and the only thing he can offer a woman is an encyclopaedic knowledge of what's on Netflix. But I have no doubt he'll eventually fall in with a desperate late 30s divorcee with 3 kids.
>> No. 436843 Anonymous
10th May 2020
Sunday 8:47 pm
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>>436838

>tries their level best to save a failing relationship, but I'm of the opinion that once the other person's mind has been made up that they've had enough, that's just about it.

Very true. There's just a point of no return where it's too little, too late.


>They're already entering a stage where they actively dislike you and don't want to spend time with you.

One lass I was with for two years as a younglad started making up doubtful excuses why she couldn't come and spend the weekend with me, or she didn't want to spend the night because her parents suddenly needed her early in the morning or something. And a weekend holiday that we'd been planning for months was also beginning to look iffy for a few sketchy reasons.

I caught her off guard just days before we broke up, when she was actively being flirted with by a service station attendant and really seemed to enjoy the attention from an arguably attractive random stranger bloke. I was waiting in the car the whole time, which might explain why he was overtly coming on to her, while I could just about make them out going back and forth through the glass window, but when she got back in the car and told me, with a big smile on her face, I said, "Somebody you could imagine having a snog with?". And the way she processed that question wasn't like, "Oh don't be jealous" or something, no, you could tell she was weighing the actual pros and cons of snogging that very lad. In other words, her mind was somewhere else already. I'll never forget the look on her face when she then realised she'd fallen for a trick question. There was dead silence on the 30-minute drive home.

We broke up some ten days later, but not because there was actually another lad in the picture, but because the relationship had just run its course and there was nothing left to hold on to. A strange mix of despising the other person, and at the same time feeling incredibly sad that our once wonderful relationship had deteriorated to that.
>> No. 436879 Anonymous
12th May 2020
Tuesday 2:55 pm
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>>436843
>but when she got back in the car and told me, with a big smile on her face, I said,
When she told you what? Sorry I think you missed a bit out of your tale.
>> No. 436883 Anonymous
13th May 2020
Wednesday 12:04 am
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>>436879

She told me that servicestationlad was quite unmistakably hitting on her.

Like I said, her mind was somewhere else already. She just wasn't ready yet to admit it to me, but she knew for herself deep down, and had likely known for some time. And at that moment, it was clear as day. And I knew that we were over. It still took us a little more than a week to drop the other shoe, but it wasn't a pleasant week. I spent a lot of the time just watching TV to get my mind off it, or listening to the song Empty Rooms by Gary Moore. I knew what was coming, but nothing is a lonelier place than being in limbo with your relationship like that. It's almost a relief when you then sit down and have the final talk.
>> No. 436889 Anonymous
13th May 2020
Wednesday 2:49 pm
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>>436814
>She's also got a literal porno cunt

What does this mean?
>> No. 436890 Anonymous
13th May 2020
Wednesday 2:52 pm
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>>436889
I've watched shitloads of porn and the majority of fannies aren't noteworthy in any way.
>> No. 436891 Anonymous
13th May 2020
Wednesday 3:46 pm
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>>436889

I assumed he meant "innie" labia lips.
>> No. 436892 Anonymous
13th May 2020
Wednesday 4:01 pm
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>>436891
When you fuck fatties they're all innies.
>> No. 436893 Anonymous
13th May 2020
Wednesday 4:13 pm
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>>436892

Not you again, obesityfetishlad.
>> No. 436894 Anonymous
13th May 2020
Wednesday 4:28 pm
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>>436893
Is she actually obese or just pleasantly plump?
>> No. 436895 Anonymous
13th May 2020
Wednesday 5:17 pm
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>>436894

She is obese.
>> No. 436896 Anonymous
13th May 2020
Wednesday 5:26 pm
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>>436894
Oh here we go again. I give it five fucking minutes and its land whale city around here.
>> No. 436897 Anonymous
13th May 2020
Wednesday 5:29 pm
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>>436895
She's got no hanginging flesh soo I'd call that plump and/or fat rather than obese, but she hasn't got a nice shape about it. I feel like an arsehole talking about a woman like this. But let's not derail another thread with this shit.
>> No. 436898 Anonymous
13th May 2020
Wednesday 6:00 pm
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>>436893

Honestly mate, it's not me. I've radicalised otherlad and turned him into a shill for Big Lasses, for which I can only apologise.
>> No. 436899 Anonymous
13th May 2020
Wednesday 6:33 pm
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>>436897

You're spot on though. Don't let Big Body Positivity get into your head, we are all allowed our tastes, but we have to be frank about obesity in the same way we would about drugs or excessive tanning or drinking bottled water or whatever else gives you cancer nowadays.

She's chubby, bordering on actually fat, but that has nothing to do with the reasons she's unattractive. I've probably shagged lasses heavier than her, but they were much fitter. It's all about how the body carries it.

Give me a big round arse with one of those smooth, tight inny cunts tucked under it, and I'll be a happy man. Whereas you can tell she's got beef curtains and it smells of Walker's crisps.
>> No. 436900 Anonymous
13th May 2020
Wednesday 7:16 pm
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>>436899
I think I'd love a fanny that smells of crisps.
>> No. 436901 Anonymous
13th May 2020
Wednesday 7:32 pm
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>>436900

Salt and vinegar is fine, maybe prawn cocktail at a push, but I draw the line at cheese and onion.
>> No. 436902 Anonymous
13th May 2020
Wednesday 7:41 pm
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>>436894
She's got a beer belly. From the look I'd say she's got more visceral fat than anything else. No matter what you think about looks she's not healthy.
>> No. 436903 Anonymous
13th May 2020
Wednesday 8:19 pm
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>>436901
Salt and vinegar would be fine but I venture to suggest that prawn cocktail might be the worst. They already smell like bad fanny.
>> No. 436904 Anonymous
13th May 2020
Wednesday 8:33 pm
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>>436900

Long as she'll fit into a bathroom stall in a Blackpool chippie, I'll try anything once.
>> No. 436905 Anonymous
13th May 2020
Wednesday 8:41 pm
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>>436904

If it must be used with such frequency, could we at least make this one of those memes where you continuously distort it until it's a sushi bar in Portsmouth, or a Brazillian carvery in Withernsea?

It really hadn't been left long enough to be a decent call back otherwise. Officially, we're not supposed to have any memes at all.

Regards, the .gs Meme Curation Society.
>> No. 436906 Anonymous
13th May 2020
Wednesday 8:52 pm
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>>436905
You can't blame him for getting a bit too eager; it's the first one we've had since the fisherman's breakfast.
>> No. 436907 Anonymous
13th May 2020
Wednesday 9:09 pm
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>>436892>>436906

I'd gobble her fishy platter IYKWIM.
>> No. 436909 Anonymous
13th May 2020
Wednesday 9:34 pm
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>>436907
Scarlett Moffatt's fishy platter is a phrase that should never be uttered again.
>> No. 436912 Anonymous
13th May 2020
Wednesday 9:52 pm
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No. I picked the wrong girl and bitterly regret it.

She's extremely attractive but we are otherwise different people with little in common. I'm about to break up with her when the time is right.
>> No. 436913 Anonymous
13th May 2020
Wednesday 9:59 pm
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>>436909

>Scarlett Moffatt's fishy platter

Seems like an adequate replacement for SARAH MILLICAN'S SQUELCHY FANNY CUSTARD.
>> No. 436914 Anonymous
13th May 2020
Wednesday 10:18 pm
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>>436912
When will the time be right?
>> No. 436915 Anonymous
13th May 2020
Wednesday 10:48 pm
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>>436913

I know which one I'd rather have my fill of.
>> No. 436916 Anonymous
14th May 2020
Thursday 5:53 am
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>>436914
Good point, when I let go of the safety net and realise I'm delaying the inevitable so it's time to be brave.

Even if you know they're not right, it's hard letting go, having to chart your own course again and live with the possibility that you might die alone and never find another.
>> No. 436917 Anonymous
14th May 2020
Thursday 9:34 am
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I once got flak for buying chocolate for a lady (and her family) while on a business trip, the crime was that I'd gotten milk chocolate when she 'only ate' dark. I think a lot of lads would appease here, I used to do that all the time to keep the peace. This time though, I told her to stop being a bitch and appreciate at least that I got a gift while on a short business trip.

Now that might seem trivial. Yet I remember my Mum putting my step-dad through hell, even though he had his own business and when he wasn't out working he'd be working on building the extension to the house. Both partners often end up silently making a lot of concessions along the way which really do build up. It's like not cleaning because you don't like it, fine for a few weeks but after two years you live in a pigsty. At that point, it's not washing a few dishes but a solid week or two of deep cleaning. If you weren't motivated to clean a few plates then it's likely you'll accept this mess as 'just how it is'.

You'd probably start looking for ways to magically fix the problem: maybe you'd move house or hire a cleaner. That'd work for a bit, but eventually the mess would pile up and you're back here again. Perhaps you'd decide to make a start one day, but it won't work because your partner knows the rules and just leaves their shit everywhere. If you add to that jobs and other parts of life and the inclination to progress things to fix them (i.e. if we get married that might fix it), it's easy to see why people feel like their relationships are so immovable.

>>436916

I once struggled to break up with a lass and the advice was to formulate a plan. I had a few months until our lease ended, so I planned it all out meticulously: how I'd find a new place, when I'd tell her, how I'd tell her, etc. Needless to say, first thing I did when I got home was the exact opposite and break up with her there and then. Not sure what my point is but might be worth planning it out.
>> No. 436918 Anonymous
14th May 2020
Thursday 9:47 am
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>>436917
When I was a teenlad I had a lass nearly break up with me because I bought her a box of dark chocolate. She doesn't like dark chocolate and apparently this meant I didn't know her at all. I was strapped for cash and that was the best deal in Kwik Save at the time.

I also knew a lad who couldn't pluck up the courage to break up with his long-term girlfriend so he decided to cheat on her because that would be the point of no return and there'd be no coming back from it. She forgave him.
>> No. 436920 Anonymous
14th May 2020
Thursday 10:30 am
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>>436917

>the crime was that I'd gotten milk chocolate when she 'only ate' dark

I once promised a girlfriend that I'd get her a souvenir from a business trip to Berlin. We were really slammed there and had a full schedule all day long, and only got to see a little bit of the city for two hours on the last day. The best I could manage was a miniature of the Brandenburg Gate, an arguably tacky looking item made in China that was less than the size of the palm of your hand, but I nearly missed the train to the airport because I had my mind set on not returning home without the promised souvenir. But then when I gave it to her, she was visibly disappointed and said, "What am I going to do with that?". So I said, what did she expect me to get, and she said, "I don't know... something pretty, something romantic". I told her that I almost missed my flight home to make sure I got a fucking souvenir for her, but that didn't seem to cut it.
>> No. 436922 Anonymous
14th May 2020
Thursday 11:15 am
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These stories sound like you would have been better off buying no gift at all. I'm not sure I like the moral here. The best I can come up with is that these people were always ungrateful of the energy put into making them happy and these events just highlighted their flaws.
>> No. 436925 Anonymous
14th May 2020
Thursday 12:15 pm
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>>436922


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ON3HS4mOZEU
>> No. 436930 Anonymous
14th May 2020
Thursday 1:53 pm
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>>436920

I've always been pretty good at buying gifts for my partners, as long as they've got an actual personality for me to base my decision on. I used to struggle when I was a young lad but looking back it's just because they were vapid slags, so I had very little to go on.

That said in your situation I'd have probably just bought something at the duty free and blagged it. Souvenirs seem like a daft idea to me, most of the world has exactly the same consumerist culture nowadays so what exactly are you supposed to bring back that you can't get just the same over here?

I'm reminded of when I was a kid and my mum had gone To Tunisia or something for a hen do, and brought me back a fez and a bunch of vaguely Aladdin-ish stuff. Maybe back then you wouldn't have been able to just nip online and order them, but nowadays there's absolutely no reason for somebody to go half way around the world just to bring back a hat.
>> No. 436931 Anonymous
14th May 2020
Thursday 2:19 pm
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>>436930

>That said in your situation I'd have probably just bought something at the duty free and blagged it.

See, my idea for a souvenir was to get something original, something you'd only find in Berlin, because what's the point of getting an oversize bottle of some perfume brand in duty free that she could just as easily have gotten for a little more money in any perfume shop back home. I actually wanted to convey to her that I made the effort to find something that was original to the place I went to, even if it had "Made in China" faintly stamped under the bottom.

I think the problem when you can't make somebody happy despite your best efforts is that person's general attitude about what they think you are to them as their partner. There seem to be a lot of women in particular who think a lad is there to make them happy, and make them feel important and taken care of. Worshipped even, for want of a better word. And they'll give any number of reasons why they feel that way, from rough loveless upbringing to abusive past relationships, or just plain the notion that the Earth revolves around them.

There's no changing a person like that. If you find yourself in a relationship where you're just being bossed around and nothing is ever good enough, the only thing you can do is break up. The problem is, a lot of lads are in a relationship like that because they never learned to stick up for themselves. They're letting it happen, and they will also not have the balls to just flat out dump somebody.
>> No. 436932 Anonymous
14th May 2020
Thursday 2:35 pm
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>>436930

>because they were vapid slags, so I had very little to go on.

You just reminded me of the string of the most recent girls I've met online, didn't seems to have any hobbies, didn't seem to open up when I asked them questions, didn't seem interested in talking dirty. Say what you like about the tenants of national socialism but at least they have a fucking opinion about things.
>> No. 436933 Anonymous
14th May 2020
Thursday 2:46 pm
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>>436932

> didn't seems to have any hobbies

Watch out. A lot of lasses who don't really have any genuine hobbies of their own will go all shapeshifter from one boyfriend to the next with it. Very probably because they just don't have enough personality of their own, they will get into whatever their current boyfriend likes to spend time doing. And so they go from being a pretend gamer while they're with one lad, to being a pretend grease monkey with the next fella who can seemingly tell you all the pros and cons between four- and six-cylinder engines. When in reality, she's just parroting what she once heard her boyfriend discuss with his mates.

My last girlfriend was a passionate wind surfer. And she had been doing it since she was about twelve years old. Can't say it's something I'd ever really get into, I tried a few times while we were together but it just doesn't do anything for me. But at least she had that one big hobby in her life that she was passionate about. Which in itself gave her character.
>> No. 436934 Anonymous
14th May 2020
Thursday 3:30 pm
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>>436933
I really hate people without their own hobbies, they make the worst partners.

They can't understand why your life doesn't become merged into one blob where you do everything together and like time alone as your own independent person.
>> No. 436935 Anonymous
14th May 2020
Thursday 4:28 pm
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Yeah this kind of person is the epitome of ‘if you are bored than you are boring’. And online dating seems full of them. And they always tell you they are bored. The most recent one I half assumed they were some sort of scammer their conversation was so basic and lacking of input.

>My last girlfriend was a passionate wind surfer. And she had been doing it since she was about twelve years old. Can't say it's something I'd ever really get into, I tried a few times while we were together but it just doesn't do anything for me. But at least she had that one big hobby in her life that she was passionate about. Which in itself gave her character.

Exactly I have no interest in wind surfing and probably never would but I am sure they are capiable of saying more than 'lol idk' in a conversation purely based on that.
>> No. 436936 Anonymous
14th May 2020
Thursday 4:40 pm
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>>436935
Also it just gives them something interesting to their personality, something unique, something to talk about, something to see them enjoy and get passionate about.

Nothing worse than people with hobbies that include Nandos, TV and relaxing with a glass of wine. Sadly I think there are enough desperate people that will put up with that anyway.
>> No. 436940 Anonymous
14th May 2020
Thursday 8:01 pm
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Why are you lads acting like only lasses don't have hobbies? Granted there are many women who think trying different flavours of gin is a personality trait but I know plenty of lads who have little interests beyond consuming media.
>> No. 436941 Anonymous
14th May 2020
Thursday 8:20 pm
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>>436935

>but I am sure they are capiable of saying more than 'lol idk' in a conversation

My first serious girlfriend was notorious for never being able to start a meaningful conversation on her own, and having no discernible opinion about anything that was a more demanding conversation topic than the latest boy bands or the shenanigans of the people who lived in her small town. She would jump in to some extent when you were the one starting the conversation, but I just never managed to really keep anything like that going with her for more than about ten minutes. Granted, she was 17 when we met and I was 20, I was at uni and she eventually became a nurse, but it just seemed that even for someone between the ages of 17 and 19, she was quite a vapid empty shell of a person. No passionate opinions, no hobbies, no interest ever in any kind of heated debate. You will probably want to dismiss all that because of her age, but I knew plenty of lasses at uni in that same age range who were quite highly opinionated about big topics like politics or the economy, and who had very definite hobbies and interests.

Eventually, we broke up because that was our biggest problem. No common ground to just sit somewhere and talk about something together for hours. A few months after her, I briefly dated a lass who was the polar opposite, and although it was relatively clear after the second or third date that we didn't have enough in common for anything more serious, we sat in her car for six hours straight one night and just talked our mouths off. I remember going home that night with my mind blown that there were actually women in the world that I could spend six hours talking with and not even notice time flying by. And it also reassured me that the breakup with my first girlfriend, although it was really kind of painful for me, was absolutely the right thing.

The novelty of being together eventually always wears off. And then, what becomes important is if you actually have enough things to talk about. Not having that with your romantic partner, of all people, can become a very lonely place.
>> No. 436943 Anonymous
14th May 2020
Thursday 8:57 pm
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>>436940

I don't think anyone's saying that, we're talking about women.

Plus I feel like most britfa.gs are straightish males with hobbies, so it doesn't really make sense to be wondering why we're not talking more about boring men in a thread about relationships.
>> No. 436946 Anonymous
14th May 2020
Thursday 9:45 pm
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>>436943

>so it doesn't really make sense to be wondering why we're not talking more about boring men in a thread about relationships.

Quite right. I arguably triggered this line of conversation with this post (>>436932) and I felt like saying 'but I know boring men too' but decided against it because it seemed tangential and I assumed you were sensible enough bunch to not project some sort of implied actual maritime issues that it was only women who can be boring.

But since we brought it up now…

I once tried having a conversation in my past work with another member of my team only to discover there was nothing really there. It was strange, I found most people have some sort of quirk if you drill down and get them to open up (even the ‘bored’ want-a-conversation-but-are-entirely-passive-in-it online daters I believe will reveal themselves to be interesting given time), but this person was a blank, a life unlived. Ironically that made them terribly interesting to me, not as someone to talk to but someone to think about. Not as a negative but at wonder because they could be so seemingly content in that, and I am driven constantly to appease my existential anguish.
>> No. 436947 Anonymous
14th May 2020
Thursday 10:04 pm
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>>436946

I feel like most boring blokes still somehow have an encyclopaedic knowledge of football, which I suppose is something, but definitely not my thing.

There was (is) a lad at work who is as dull as dishwater, we call him the NPC because he just sits in a corner and responds with vague phrases every now and then - but even he, I discovered was an ex-restaurant manager and as former cheflad he came alive once I started talking about margins and food costs with him. It was an entirely dull conversation but the passion he displayed really had a noticeable effect on how people thought of him.

There's plenty of dull men though. I see a lot of it in my street, which is mostly older folk - men who did nothing but work and sit quietly in the pub all their lives, they retire and have nothing to do and they go mental. They mostly just wash their cars every two days and stop people in the street to drone on at them about the weather or about how they used to be a taxi driver or whatever. One feeds pigeons, I couldn't thing of much duller than that, they're all the same fucking colour.

I wonder if people think I'm dull, I'm quite quiet and won't really volunteer that much about my hobbies. I hear "I had no idea you do x" quite a bit. But I'd still talk about this stuff on a date or on tinder, because I understand how it works. Maybe these dull tinder girls are proper into competitive tomato growing but think they have to hide it from people, I don't know.
>> No. 436948 Anonymous
14th May 2020
Thursday 10:29 pm
436948 I'm starting to think this is only marginally relevant to the thread
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A person i once knew used to say "when you get to my age, men are like parking spaces. The good ones are taken and all that's left are disabled". A nasty sentiment, but one that probably has some truth to it.

I often wonder how confidence affects the type of people I find attractive, approachable or attainable. I like big women because I don't often feel intimidated by them, ie I don't have much confidence. It's patronising, right? One day I caught myself actually thinking "it doesn't matter if I look like shit because you're not much better" - I hated myself for it. But it makes me wonder if you should really persue a relationship with someone when you're fat, depressed, or whatever, because ultimately their percieved attractiveness is only a reflection of the way you feel.

There was a girl i really liked beyond any attraction I've experienced. She was nothing like the people I've found myself attracted to before. She had the most wonderful smile, and the most beautiful, characteristic teeth. But those teeth weren't 'good', by regular standards. They were a little dark, wonkey, etc. But to me they were the jewel that made her glitter and shine. They completed her, made her perfect. I'd torture myself saying I only like her because other people won't; she'd be an easy keeper, would only have to defend against fellow scumbags like myself, etc ..

Am I a cunt?
>> No. 436949 Anonymous
14th May 2020
Thursday 10:33 pm
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>>436947
> I wonder if people think I'm dull, I'm quite quiet and won't really volunteer that much about my hobbies.

This is me. I think a lot of people consider me to be a boring sod because I'm not into football, I don't know anything about the X-Factor or Love Island or Celebrity Jungle Kangaroo Fucking or whatever's on these days, and I'm probably not even watching the same Netflix shows as everyone else.

I was going to say that my hobbies are extremely niche, but I think that's missing the point. While my work and hobbies do tend towards the extremely specialised, I find that I can hold a decent conversation on almost any topic by dint of being fairly widely read and having a healthy level of curiosity about, well, everything. In contrast, a lot of my work colleagues can make computers dance but struggle to do their own tax return or talk about anything that isn't made of silicone.

In any case, it's a funny old world when having interests as "niche" as knowing a bit about contemporary politics and recent history (in the broadest sense) and reading actual novels puts you at a distinct disadvantage in the dating game (especially online).

Total and utter sage for posting rambling shite that was apropos of nothing much at all.
>> No. 436951 Anonymous
14th May 2020
Thursday 10:43 pm
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>>436948
>the most beautiful, characteristic teeth

This is my favourite line I've read in a while. It sounds like you're suffering from low self esteem.
>> No. 436952 Anonymous
14th May 2020
Thursday 11:00 pm
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>>436951

Maybe he's just a weeb into yaeba or a super hardcore weeb into ohaguro?
>> No. 436954 Anonymous
14th May 2020
Thursday 11:41 pm
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>>436948

>A person i once knew used to say "when you get to my age, men are like parking spaces. The good ones are taken and all that's left are disabled". A nasty sentiment, but one that probably has some truth to it.

On the other hand, women who don't marry by a certain age also often do so because there's something really kind of different about them. I personally don't buy the thing you read often that they're women who put their career first and just never got to settle down with a lad and have offspring because that career was so demanding and took all their energy. There are plenty of women who work full time and build quite respectable careers for themselves while still managing to get married and have a baby or two.

Generally though, man or woman, if you never-ever settle down and have kids, it really is a fair assumption that there's something in your character that makes you somehow different from everybody else. It won't be because good men or women are hard to find. And it also probably won't be because you are ugly on the outside or have other physical shortcomings, or otherwise don't conform to society's usual ideas about physical attractiveness. There are people in wheelchairs who are married and need their spouse to wipe their arse twice a day because they can't do it themselves.

There was a Channel 4 documentary a few years ago about the dynamics of finding the right person in life, and one of the researchers they interviewed said that quite simply, if you spend too long looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right, there is a very real possibility that you will end up all alone.
>> No. 436957 Anonymous
15th May 2020
Friday 12:33 am
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I hate to make it sound elitist but it ultimately comes down to dating above or below your intelligence bracket a lot of the time. We say it's dull lasses who don't have hobbies, but really they do- They just seem trivial or trite to us. Like putting sticks in jars. And likewise, as some of you have mentioned, lads who probably have a unique thought approximately once a week, but could probably reel off the entire premiership league table on the spot if you asked them.

My las ex was a lovely lass and I still miss her in a lot of ways. She sucked cock like her life depended on it for one thing, she really put the bloody effort in to please me like I've never experienced before or since. She did all the housework and never complained about it, even said she quite liked the traditional "woman's work" stuff. I had it absolutely fucking made, and I knew I did- But she was just thick, honestly.

It sounds harsh but she'd admit it herself, and not out of self-loathing. She got something like 3 Ds and four Cs at GCSE and she knew she wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed. She wasn't interested in being clever. She didn't care. And while she had a good sense of humour on shallow banter, ultimately after a couple of years it meant we just could hardly interact. We'd go to the pub and sit staring at each other, basically. It was intolerable.

I'd just sit across from her sometimes thinking how much I hated the fact that she was such a PERFECT partner, but for the one, insurmountable, glaring flaw that was gradually forcing me to end it. It was pretty bitter. Whoever she's with now is a lucky bastard, as long as he's not afflicted with intelligence.
>> No. 436958 Anonymous
15th May 2020
Friday 12:36 am
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>>436954

I reckon that ultimately, I'm absolutely fine being single. I've had some good relationships, but I think I'm just too inherently independent or solitary (or just selfish if I'm being honest) to truly be okay with the compromises inherent in any relationship, even quite minor ones.

Maybe I am just a weirdo but it's nice to wake up at 3am and go for a drive or start soldering stuff in the shed without disturbing someone else. I do think I just prefer being solitary and perhaps that does make me different or nonconformist. But then it's not like I'm single because I have no options, I just don't want to pursue any of them.

I absolutely don't want kids, which I suppose does narrow my options as I go into my thirties, but it's hard to feel concerned. Perhaps I can find someone whose idea of a perfect relationship also involves living in separate houses but I doubt it.
>> No. 436959 Anonymous
15th May 2020
Friday 12:48 am
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>>436954

I know a couple of lasses and at least on lad I'm fairly sure will end up in that situation, and what you describe as being "different" about them is true. It's not that they're ugly, it's not that they're wierdos, they're just not into it the same way other people are, they don't have this driving fundamental desire to settle down. They can take it or leave it.

I know one lass who was a virgin until she was something like 29. She almost talked me into deflowering her once but, can you believe it, I didn't want the baggage spoiling the friendship and I'd assumed she would turn full psycho after me being the one to pop her at that late of a stage, because obviously that's what would have happened.
>> No. 436966 Anonymous
15th May 2020
Friday 5:04 am
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>>436957

IME a lot of people are perfectly intelligent but still desperately dull. My stepmum is an extremely highly paid senior executive, she's sharp as a tack when she needs to be, but after work she just watches TV programmes about houses and chats shit on Facebook. She doesn't read books, the only music she listens to is Smooth FM, she doesn't like films with subtitles. She just doesn't see the point in using your brain for fun.

Conversely, I've met quite a lot of people who are basically thick as mince, but are still fun to be around because they're curious and engaged with the world.

I think that as adults, we tend to underestimate the value of play. Many of the most important innovations have come from people just dicking about with something that seems interesting. There's something really quite tragic about someone who will sit at a table that's covered in Lego and not get the urge to build something.
>> No. 436967 Anonymous
15th May 2020
Friday 5:09 am
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>>436948

>Am I a cunt?

No. Leave the beautiful women to the men with no imagination.


>> No. 436975 Anonymous
15th May 2020
Friday 11:33 am
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>>436966
>There's something really quite tragic about someone who will sit at a table that's covered in Lego and not get the urge to build something.
Yet it'd be equally tragic for an adult to actually own and play with a box of lego, right? Would you be impressed if you saw it on your mates coffee table?
>> No. 436977 Anonymous
15th May 2020
Friday 11:46 am
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>>436975

Depends on a) whether they have kids and b) whether they're a sweaty neckbeard. There's a world of difference between a functioning adult who is still connected to their inner child and a pathetic manchild who failed to develop an adult personality.
>> No. 436978 Anonymous
15th May 2020
Friday 11:50 am
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>>436975

>Yet it'd be equally tragic for an adult to actually own and play with a box of lego

I think the adult equivalent to a lego box you had as a child is a tool shed. It satisfies the need in many men to build and construct things, or just work on something manually.

The difference between men and boys is the size of their toys, innit.


>>436959

>I know a couple of lasses and at least on lad I'm fairly sure will end up in that situation, and what you describe as being "different" about them is true. It's not that they're ugly, it's not that they're wierdos, they're just not into it the same way other people are, they don't have this driving fundamental desire to settle down.

One of my exes had a sister who was just never really interested in boys as a teenager. She never did the things that most girls do at that age, she didn't seem to have any crushes, and never even went on dates. She was content just reading books all day and dreaming of a life where she'd be a school teacher someday. Which she achieved, she is now an English and history teacher and quite happy with her career choice. But she really only started dating in her mid- to late 20s, and up until then, the working theory in her family was that she might be a lesbian but was too afraid to admit it. She eventually got together with a friend of mine and they have now been married a few years, but I think he was actually the one who popped her cherry. And she's not an unpleasant person, she's been just slightly overweight her whole life, but I would say decidedly not a fatty. Sex and relationships were just always very low on her priority list, but she seemed fine with it.
>> No. 436979 Anonymous
15th May 2020
Friday 12:11 pm
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>>436959
>>436978
Think you lads are describing asexuality/aromanticism. I'm sure I'll now be told that I am a monster somehow for putting a label on it.
>> No. 436980 Anonymous
15th May 2020
Friday 12:24 pm
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>>436979

>I'm sure I'll now be told that I am a monster somehow for putting a label on it


You're certainly not being very romantic.



I'll get my coat.
>> No. 436981 Anonymous
15th May 2020
Friday 12:42 pm
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>>436979

I dunno, I like a good shag and a good relationship too, but I'm certainly not climbing the walls without them.

Is there a word for that? I don't mind a label as long as it sounds good.
>> No. 436982 Anonymous
15th May 2020
Friday 12:45 pm
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>>436952
I forgot I'd mentioned the teeth thing, before.
>> No. 436983 Anonymous
15th May 2020
Friday 12:49 pm
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>>436981
I'm similar with technology. If I don't have it then I don't miss it at all, but if I've got my phone in my pocket then I'll be checking it regularly.
>> No. 436984 Anonymous
15th May 2020
Friday 1:01 pm
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>>436975
It does depend on the person. My wife really likes lego and is quite happy to sit on the floor for hours building things. She is on the autistic spectrum, though. And a friend of mine has quite an epic lego collection and was previously a manchild, but having kids meant he had to grow up a bit. Still plays with lego, though.

I think as someone else mentioned, retaining a sense of playfulness as an adult can keep you from appearing boring to others. It's why I like climbing and other people who climb. They are playful, engaged and endlessly amused by puzzles. It makes pub conversation fun, even if they are people who you would never normally engage with.
>> No. 436985 Anonymous
15th May 2020
Friday 1:23 pm
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>>436979

Nah, not really. It's more like a very mild and weak impulse for it, compared to most people's burning need for companionship. It's not as if the lass I mentioned never talked about feeling lonely or anything. She had just never found the right person and had other priorities she put ahead of it.

I don't want to make it sound like some kind of flaw, because how people choose to live their lives is their decision, but she definitely had an air of overall hesitancy to her. She was very late to fly the nest, stayed in a rubbish job that treated her badly for a lot longer than made any sense, just generally she didn't seem to like things progressing and changing.

She was happy with her life at the stage it had been when she was around 19-20 and seemingly wanted it to stay that way as long as possible, in all aspects.
>> No. 436987 Anonymous
15th May 2020
Friday 1:55 pm
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>>436985

> compared to most people's burning need for companionship

I think a lot of people have this burning need because they are afraid of being alone. Probably in part because society teaches you that you only lead a complete life if you have a partner (a message which women seem to be susceptible to much more than men), but maybe also because they never got to experience a significant amount of time being on their own as something that can be positive. There are parts of your personality that can only grow in a meaningful way when you are on your own and forced to fend for yourself without the help of a romantic partner. And it is often through such an experience that you become an independent person as such, with their own ideas and interests and goals in life, which in turn can make you seem all the more attractive in the eyes of a potential new partner.

IMO, the least valid reason to be with someone, or stay with them even, is always that you are afraid of being alone. That's why plenty of people hold on to dying relationships, because in their mind, even being with somebody that you can't stand the sight of anymore is better than being out there all on your own. When ultimately, it's much worse in many ways.
>> No. 436988 Anonymous
15th May 2020
Friday 3:10 pm
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>>436984
I feel as though I'm treading over the line here by walking on walls, kicking my feet and climbing trees.
>> No. 436989 Anonymous
15th May 2020
Friday 3:56 pm
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>>436975

Is there really a big difference between Lego and Citadel miniatures or even Airfix, other than the fact that Lego is generally considered as purely a child's toy?

Lego is great though and having kids is a fantastic excuse to buy loads of the stuff without the stigma of being a sadact.
>> No. 436990 Anonymous
15th May 2020
Friday 4:08 pm
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>>436989

Lego have a range of immensely complex (and expensive) models for adults and even have a sideline in Lego-based management consultancy.

https://www.lego.com/en-gb/seriousplay/
>> No. 436991 Anonymous
15th May 2020
Friday 4:20 pm
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>>436989
All of these seem to fill that obsessiveness that some people need to channel. If it's not lego, it can be trains, cars, airfix or truly gratuitous pornorgraphy collections. For me, it was a frightening desire for drugs that later got chanelled into sports and then cooking. It seems to mostly be a male thing, although beware any woman who displays the intense desire to buy every Hello Kitty product on earth. I've met three of them so far and they have all turned out to be completely insane.
>> No. 436992 Anonymous
15th May 2020
Friday 4:40 pm
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>>436990

Absolutely, yet you'll commonly see men who post their Lego millennium falcons or whatever on reddit getting ripped to shreds for being manchildren (usually by people who play videogames or do other "childish" things).

>>436991
> a frightening desire for drugs

Someone I know (we have many friends in common and move in lots of the same circles but somehow have never actually met, go figure) spent a lot of his life trying to "complete his set of molecules attached to neuroreceptors" and spent a lot of time and money sourcing various obscure chemicals in order to "complete the set". I believe his quest came to an end after he finally acquired ibogaine which, if science is to be believed, tickles basically every neuroreceptor subtype in the brain.

> beware any woman who displays the intense desire to buy every Hello Kitty product on earth

I was going to make a pedo joke, but it'd only get old.
>> No. 436993 Anonymous
15th May 2020
Friday 5:02 pm
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>>436991
>beware any woman who displays the intense desire to buy every Hello Kitty product on earth


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiaYDPRedWQ
>> No. 436994 Anonymous
15th May 2020
Friday 5:13 pm
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>>436993
I'd lop a knacker off to spend a night with Avril Lavigne.
>> No. 436995 Anonymous
15th May 2020
Friday 5:23 pm
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>>436993

Even for Avril Lavigne, that's at the low end of her ability.
>> No. 436996 Anonymous
15th May 2020
Friday 5:29 pm
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>>436994

I raise you a knacker and two toes.
>> No. 436997 Anonymous
15th May 2020
Friday 5:35 pm
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>>436989

Right, it does seem odd for anyone to be judging adult legoists while we have a current active warhammer thread.

I could definitely see myself building a complex lego build, but I like functional things over ornamental, so don't think I could ever really commit to building a very time consuming shelf object. Saying that though, those metal miniature engine models you build up have caught my eye a few times, though at £400 for a nice one, I'd probably not - you could buy an actual engine for that.

Working on cars is absolutely my adult lego and judging by a lot of people in the car scene, I would say that actual lego is potentially a lot less childish.

I had an ex that was really into geocaching, but that's just hiking with extra steps.
>> No. 436998 Anonymous
15th May 2020
Friday 5:42 pm
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>>436997
I went geocaching with an old housemate of mine and it seemed quite autistic as far as hobbies go.
>> No. 436999 Anonymous
15th May 2020
Friday 5:46 pm
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>>436997
K'Nex > The North Poleno > Lego > Playmobil.

IDST
>> No. 437000 Anonymous
15th May 2020
Friday 5:49 pm
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>>436999
>The North Poleno

For actual fuck's sake.
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