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>> | No. 449104
449104
Dustbinman's going down the street, eventually he gets to a house who haven't put their bins out. He knocks at the door and a Japanese man answers. He can see some suitcases in the hallway behind him. |
>> | No. 449105
449105
They don't knock on your door if your bin's not out. |
>> | No. 449106
449106
My grandad used to tell me this joke every time I saw him, and has been doing so for at least 25 years. |
>> | No. 449107
449107
>>449106 |
>> | No. 449123
449123
Did you hear about the mathematician who was scared of negative numbers? |
>> | No. 449126
449126
>>449123 |
>> | No. 449142
449142
I went to the pet shop earlier to get some bird seed and they asked me if I'd got a store card. No, but I did get a budgie excited once. |
>> | No. 449161
449161
>>449142 |
>> | No. 449162
449162
>>449161 |
>> | No. 449163
449163
>>449161 |
>> | No. 449234
449234
I've just watched a documentary on how ships are stuck together. It was riveting. |
>> | No. 449269
449269
>>449234 |
>> | No. 449495
449495
>>449104 |
>> | No. 449499
449499
>>449269 |
>> | No. 449936
449936
I don't understand this joke? The Japanese man rode in a wheelie bin to Tokyo? What? |
>> | No. 449938
449938
>>449936 |
>> | No. 450619
450619
I bought some shoes off a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day. |
>> | No. 451890
451890
Have you heard about the latest drugs craze sweeping Yorkshire? People are crushing up ecstasy tablets and rubbing them into the ridge of their mouths. They're calling it "e, by gum." |
>> | No. 452130
452130
Untitled.jpg ![]() ![]() ![]() Mr Singh walks into a bank London and asks for the loan officer. He says he's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow £5000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so Mr Singh hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce, which costs quarter of a million pounds. |
>> | No. 452133
452133
>>452130 |
>> | No. 452134
452134
What's got four legs and goes "ssshhhhhhhhh"? Rod Hull's telly. |
>> | No. 452144
452144
Why did the chicken cross the road? |
>> | No. 452146
452146
>>452134 |
>> | No. 452479
452479
My friend's thinking about planting an apple tree, but he's a bit nervous about it. I told him to grow a pair. |
>> | No. 452488
452488
>>449269 |
>> | No. 452493
452493
A man on holiday decided to take an early-morning walk along the beach, to admire the sunrise and experience the beach before it filled up with holidaymakers, as it had done every day so far. He left his hotel room, and walked down. As hoped, the beach was entirely empty. |
>> | No. 452494
452494
>>452493 |
>> | No. 452496
452496
>>452494 |
>> | No. 452499
452499
A man is lying in hospital with his face bandaged after an accident. A nurse comes in, and the man says, "Nurse, are my testicles black?". |
>> | No. 453327
453327
An elderly lady streaked naked in her care home. |
>> | No. 453450
453450
So this only really works verbally, but I remembered one my grandad used to tell a lot. |
>> | No. 453464
453464
Two crazy people meet in the polar, and one of them says, "Nice beach we've got here, isn't it?" |
>> | No. 453465
453465
>>453464 |
>> | No. 456969
456969
It was in the news recently that a woman died from scalding. Apparently she had an obsession with taking pictures of herself next to a boiling kettle. She almost certainly had selfie steam issues. |
>> | No. 459126
459126
Who’s the coolest guy in the hospital? |
>> | No. 461595
461595
Michael Barrymore's said he isn't doing panto this winter. "I did Aladdin a few years back and I've never heard the end of it." |
>> | No. 461596
461596
My mate had one of those online romances this year with a lass in Malaysia. They'd actually chatted throughout the year after making a connection on a forum and arranged to meet in-person for a ski-trip in Switzerland. |
>> | No. 463761
463761
What's got seven arms and sucks? Def Leppard. |
>> | No. 463822
463822
>>463761 |
>> | No. 463909
463909
What do you call a scouser in a suit? |
>> | No. 463911
463911
Dark humour is like a kid with cancer. |
>> | No. 463912
463912
>>463911 |
>> | No. 463913
463913
>>463912 |
>> | No. 463914
463914
>>463913 |
>> | No. 463926
463926
Shack.jpg ![]() ![]() ![]() >>463912 |
>> | No. 463927
463927
Shack.jpg ![]() ![]() ![]() >>463926 |
>> | No. 463928
463928
What kind of bees make milk? |
>> | No. 463929
463929
A man is lying in hospital, with his entire head covered in bandages. A nurse comes in and the man says to her, "Nurse, are my testicles black?". The nurse replies, "erm... I don't know why they would be". So the man again says, "Nurse, can you please see if my testicles are black?". The nurse shrugs, lifts the man's sheets and gown and examines his testicles, and then says, "There is nothing wrong with your testicles!". And then the man adjusts his bandages so they don't cover his mouth, and he says, "Thank you, nurse, but you didn't have to do that. What I want to know is, ARE MY TEST RESULTS BACK?". |
>> | No. 464224
464224
Why is 05:30am like a pig's tail? Because it's twirly! |
>> | No. 464741
464741
I've just burnt my Hawaiian pizza. I should have put it on aloha heat. |
>> | No. 464742
464742
What do the films Titanic and The Sixth Sense have in common? Icy dead people. |
>> | No. 464817
464817
A bear was walking through the woods. He saw a burning car, so he sat down in it and burned. |
>> | No. 464823
464823
>>464817 |
>> | No. 467148
467148
My grandma visited China back when they had that opium addiction epidemic. She went to Hainan province. |
>> | No. 467152
467152
What do you call a man without any shins? Tony. |
>> | No. 467931
467931
I was watching MasterChef Australia and one of the contestants made meringue. The judges loved it, which surprised me because usually they boo meringue. |
>> | No. 469447
469447
Three men walked into a bar |
>> | No. 469452
469452
How can you tell the gender of an ant? Put it in water. |
>> | No. 469476
469476
I'm so poor, I listen to free jazz. |
>> | No. 470196
470196
I have a transvestite friend who lives in the Greater Manchester area. He has a Wigan address. |
>> | No. 470444
470444
What do you call an Indian fella who used to operate a self-catering holiday rental in rural France? |
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