Annual Andrew update. He's still running his augmented reality company.

https://mobile.twitter.com/AndrewHartAR

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Xyjk4sDxnI

>>455394
His app that shows you where things are in shops is cool but given that supermarkets intentionally make it difficult to find things to encourage you to browse and buy more, I'm not sure they'll go for it in a big way.

>>455395

Fuck, that's dowdy.

>>455398
It's tradition. The video has been posted every year since Andrew made it back in ~2009.

We've had the same Christmas thread and image since 2017 at the latest, possibly a bit earlier. Should we have a different one next year?

>>455399

>We've had the same Christmas thread and image since 2017 at the latest

Sorry, guess I never realised what it was from.

Goes to show my heightened disinterest in all things Christmas.

It has only just occured to me that Andrew is savvy enough to know we link to him every year. Merry Christmas lad.

>>455402
I think he tries to ignore his past. The original video, as with his other recordings such as 'The Fun Is In Sharing', have all been made private on YouTube. It wouldn't surprise me if the lad faced a lot of bullying because of his Christmas song.

As with the BearForce One song, we're probably the main community keeping it alive. Someone could link Andrew here, but I imagine he'd find it uncomfortable.

Yeah, no shit he'd find it uncomfortable a bunch of grown men see in the holidays by ritualistically posting an awful song he made 13 years ago as a teenager, for reasons bordering somewhere between the arcane and ironic.

I'm not saying stop, just don't DM him or anything.

>>455406
He may already be one of us.

I've started on the stollen. Fuck knows when I'll stop.

>>455409
It's a bit early for that lad. Pace yourself.

>>455409
Lebkuchen for me. The big ones from Lidl.

>>455407
Big Sarah Millican's Squelchy Fanny Custard's been replaced by Big Opinel, I think. Or maybe we're still on big boot? I lose track these days.

>>455416
Honestly wish I got paid for all these product endorsements.

This time next year we'd be millionaires ladm9s.

Elf on a shelf gets on my tits. Never seen the point of it.

>>455427
It's induction into the surveillance state for children. The Elf of the Shelf is a cop, and ACAB.

>>455427
It's truly bizarre. Always one of the top ten selling books at this time of year, for no good reason at all.

>>455409
>>455415

Lidl's stollen tends to be a bit doughy and half baked. Not sure why that is. Sainsbury's have decent stollen, and it's not as expensive as you would think.

The best stollen I've ever had was when we went to Dresden, one of the principal homes of the art of stollen bakery in Germany. Dresden stollen is difficult to get in the UK, but if you see it advertised somewhere, then that's the one to get. I bought a whole box of Emil Reimann's Dresden stollen while we were there, it was about ten quid but it was well worth it. It's one of the most esteemed local brands.


There, I'm a stollen snob. I admit it.

>>455434
>Lidl's stollen tends to be a bit doughy and half baked

Is that not because it's almost 50% marzipan? I'm not sure how much marzipan is in your expensive German stollen for comparison.

I hate marzipan and I hate how everything christmassy has marzipan in it.

Iced mince pies are all I have, and I don't really like them because they're often a bit too rich, but if it wasn't for that I'd have nothing.

>>455439
Brandy butter mince pies are the best mince pies.

>>455439

I love marzipan. I've sort of developed a marzipan habit the last few weeks and can't get enough of it.

>>455445

Marzipan is a high-tier energy boost. I buy a slab of the golden stuff each month and cut of a sliver to whizz up in the blender with some milk to boost my porridge.

Now, if only I could buy a similar payload of Brazil Nut paste, I could literally die happy from a selenium overdose.

>>455454
Might as well dip a battenberg in your porridge if you're going to do that.

>>455455

No, because that doesn't make any sense. Why don't you just dunk a cow in your cornflakes. Goon.

I've tried listening to a Christmas radio station but they keep playing Christmas Lights by Coldplay when it's absolutely dire.

>>455464
Whamageddon rules are that if you see it without listening, you're ok.

>>455464
Ah its Christmas. Shall we get the snowflakes out?

It's not better, but I'd rather listen to Jimmy Eat World's version.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K3J7trGtpB0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3fSknbR7Y4

I'm actually old enough to remember when it came out.

>>455478

You're dead old, you.

>>455479

Well I was a weelad in 1984. But old enough to wipe my own arse and remember that my parents absolutely loved the song and my dad was playing it on his record player all the time.

>>455466
>Shall we get the snowflakes out?

The Met Office has warned that severe cold weather is set to hit the UK this week, with overnight temperatures plummeting to -6C (21F) in some places.

Snow is likely in northern Scotland, although temperatures will be low enough to make it a possibility anywhere in the country. Frost and ice are also expected.

Health care providers are also being told to implement cold weather plans under a level three cold weather alert, between 18:00 GMT on Wednesday and 09:00 on Monday 12 December in most parts of England.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-63857912

>>455489


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3ERe76IWgE

>>455491

He looks like Protagonist from Ten neT.

>>455495

MC Ride is what happens when you smoke PCP through a broken 56k modem.

>>455489

The horror.

It's kind of a good thing that we're getting global warming instead of global cooling. Because here in Britain we'd simply be unequipped for the kind of winter that many other countries would call entirely ordinary.

Then again, there's still a chance that global warming will cause the Gulf Stream to stop, and then we'll all really be fucked.

For £5 a ticket you can see East 17, four members of Blazin' Squad and S Club All Stars on their Christmas tour.

https://www.hotukdeals.com/deals/ps5-tickets-for-east-17-plus-guests-at-sheffield-city-hall-on-71222-4043615

I've looked it up so you don't have to; S Club All Stars are the rebrand of S Club 3, since Jo left and was replaced by a member of S Club Juniors.

Lidl had some cracking chestnuts today.

They're in the oven right now.

>>455496


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ibf6atBsyxk

This is 12 years old now, bloody hell.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LwlP9F1FEDM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i4oLiE13Tj4

Do we need to create an alternative Christmas playlist?

>>455526

Eight days. I lasted eight days before hearing Buble. The bubbly man is inevitable at Christmas.

I don't want to jinx things, but are we going to have a LadBaby free Christmas this year?

>>455538

Not a chance in hell.

>>455541
I do like how some of the news reporting around this has censored "cunt" but not "Kunt". Why even bother? He's even got a bowdlerised alternative name specifically for media use.

>>455541
Fair play to Kunt, but it won't stop me from thinking he's almost as obnoxious.

>>455497
What the fuck is that? How is that not at constant risk of burying cars? Physicslad please explain how this is at all safe.

>>455549
I know I keep saying it, but Kunt peaked somewhere around 2014 and hasn't done anything decent for years.

Work's Christmas do tonight. I didn't go, fuck knows why they arranged it for a Saturday.

Speaking of Christmas parties, do you think my local Labour Party would mind if the only function I've attended in three years is Monday's Christmas party? Technically they owe me a party because they've yet to deliver on a government.

>>455559

I always hated them as well.

Good thing about being self employed. No more office Christmas parties. That's one of the things I really like about it around this time of year. Not having to deal with all that shite anymore.

>>455561
I would have gone if it wasn't on a Saturday. I know it's cool on parts of the internet to hate all of your coworkers, but there's plenty I can have a laugh with. However, I'm not giving up any weekend time for a work function.

>>455562
Some people are never happy. My colleagues always fume that we do ours on a Wednesday or Thursday night.

>>455560
>loyalty to politicians after they've locked us up for two years, destroyed the economy, made us struggle to heat ourselves and eat, and caused immunity to diseases to plummet
The only good politician is in a little box six feet below.

"Ladbaby" is doing a new version of Band Aid. Fucking hell.

Why, in the name of Christ, did I offer to do Christmas dinner? Why did I say that? I hate cooking. I would quite happily live on soup and whatever nice bread I can find in Sainsbury's on a given day, but for some reason I just offered to cook a massive dinner on a day that I decided three years ago I don't enjoy. What an utter dickhead I was two hours ago.

>>455574
Alright, big man, don't piss yourself.

>>455577
You remember when the CIA put that bomb in a cigar to try to kill Castro?

>>455578
Can you have most things prepped on the day so they just need reheating?

My girlfriend's bought a vegan sausage roll wreath for this year.

>>455577
There won't be sausage rolls in Africa this Christmastime
The greatest gift they'll get this year is Greggs

Also, he's doing it in the wrong year. "Band Aid 38" just doesn't have the same ring to it.

IT'S SNOWING

What are you lads asking Santa for this year?

To be honest I didn't want to 'do' Christmas this year, after numerous with the thought that I should probably experience it alone at least once in my life. Half of my family are away; the other half reacted with disapointment when I told them. I've realised it's not just about you (me), and that any decision I make will ultimately effect my family.

>>455599
All I could really do with is some fresh pants and socks. My parents will probably get me a box of After Eights or Bendicks mints, possibly also wine gums and a few bottles of beer. My brother will either get me an Amazon gift card or one for a dining chain which I don't frequent. My girlfriend will get me bed clothes, possibly a knock-off Oodie and a few bits of tat.

>>455599
I always want Christmas to be the same as when I was a child, so I always want real presents. I've heard that some people are not like this. I was stumped this year, so I've said clothes are a decent idea, plus Metallica have released a new album so I can get that on CD and listen to that a couple of times.

>>455599

Me and the missus just put together money so we can go off and stay in a little cabin in the country with a hot tub over the new year, instead of staying in town and putting up with the crowded bars and all the fireworks and what have you.

I suppose I still ought to get her a little necklace or something like that, whenever you tell each other "you're not getting anything" you're always asking for trouble not to aren't you. I've suggested she can get me a new zippo lighter if she wants to get me anything, 'cause my old one went missing.

My mum and dad can just get me socks and pants and some choccies, like always. In return I'll get them some Border biccies, a bottle of wine, and a little garden ornament off Amazon, like always.

https://news.sky.com/story/illegal-christmas-lights-being-sold-online-putting-customers-at-risk-of-electric-shock-or-fire-says-which-12766753

>Which? found 10 of the 12 sets of Christmas tree lights it tested were illegal to sell in the UK. One set of lights was so badly made that it posed both an electric shock risk to anyone using it and was also a fire hazard.

>One set of lights bought from a seller on Wish was so badly made that it posed both an electric shock risk to anyone using it and was also a fire hazard. The fairy LED string lights, costing £13, had problems with the cable, the control box and the plug.

>The build quality was so poor that the white control box could easily be pulled apart by a child, exposing accessible live parts. Wires could be pulled out by hand with little force.


To paraphrase George Carlin, the kid who pulls apart too many Christmas lights does not get to grow up and have children of his own.

>>455609
Would anyone in their right mind buy Christmas lights from Wish?

I, for one, am OUTRAGED.

https://facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=6226900103988780&id=156723587673159

>>455643

Looks like typical rage bait. On facebook, no less.

>>455643

>>455644
That really is the zenith, or nadir depending on your outlook, of UK Facebook nonsense. Conflating about three wildly unrelated issues and ever so slightly taking credit for the Second World War, despite being too young to have done national service, let alone stormed the Rhein.

>>455646
This one always tickles me, especially because people also post it when the clocks go forward.

>>455647

There's an entire genre of fuckwitted war-based boomer memes.

>>455648

>>455649

>>455648

I particularly like how it's a Russian soldier in that picture.

>>455646

> let alone stormed the Rhein.

Then do tell us about that time you defeated the Germans.

>>455651

If you enjoyed that, you'll love >>455649 when you notice what uniform the motorcyclist is wearing. Also the fact that he's riding a BMW.

>>455648
>>455649
These are bait, right? I'm being had. The great mass of this nation are not that daft, are they?

>>455655

The great mass of this nation couldn't recognise a PPSh-41 or a Stahlhelm if it fell on them from a great height. As I've said before, "remembrance" has turned into a festival of forgetting, of slowly substituting the bloody reality of war with the non-specific nationalistic warmth of ARE BRAVE BOYS.

The youngest people to have actually seen service in the Second World War are now in their mid-90s. The people reminiscing about the blitz spirit on Facebook only have second-hand memories of it - sanitised accounts, second-hand nostalgia and outright propaganda.

Remember when there was a brief fad for those "Keep Calm and Carry On" posters? Only a nation that has forgotten the realities of war could see them as a kitsch symbol of a stiff upper lip, without reflecting on the reason they were printed and the circumstances under which they were intended to be displayed.

BUT SAY A PRAYER
PRAY FOR A SOSSAGE ROLL


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JIS3wNkQ_UE

(A good day to you Sir!)

>>455656

>The great mass of this nation couldn't recognise a PPSh-41 or a Stahlhelm if it fell on them from a great height.


The Germans were just about the only ones using the Stahlhelm, so it should be easy to make out.

The M42 Stahlhelm offered far better protection against bullets and shrapnel and debris impacts to the neck than the Brodie helmet. Which meant that the Wehrmacht actually had far fewer head and neck injuries than most other armies.

It did take them a while to figure out that putting badges like the SS runes on the side of it pretty much made them target practice for enemy snipers, so that towards the end of the war, all Stahlhelm helmets were unmarked.

>>455663

That is a truly phenomenal amount of Autotune.

Roxanne would still get a gob full of my sausage roll IYKWIM.

>>455665

>It did take them a while to figure out that putting badges like the SS runes on the side of it pretty much made them target practice for enemy snipers, so that towards the end of the war, all Stahlhelm helmets were unmarked.

I'd bet a quid that they just ran out of paint.

>>455663

>>455667

Sniper rifles in WWII often had an effective range of up to 300 metres. So that a badge that size would have painted a target on you even if you were hiding behind camouflage netting.

>>455653

I've played all the Call of Duties and Medal of Honours and Battlefield games, I'll have you know. I alone likely have more combat experience than most Iraq or Svalbard veterans.

>>455670

Bit like saying you're a sex pro from all the Internet wanking you've done.

>>455673
On the contrary, otherlad speaks the truth. If you don't know to stay out of the infantry after 15 minutes in an FPS then you've only yourself to blame. I'm getting enlisted into the Typist Corps or a Washing Machine Repair Company when The Big One kicks off.

>>455674

I don't need any convincing not to join the military. I don't like people yelling at me. Always had problems with hierarchy too, so I basically have all the traits that make me less than ideal material.

>>455663
The comments on the video are a lot more calling him a grifter than previous years.

>>455676
I didn't see any of those. Most seem to be about how well Martin Lewis can sing, even though it's clearly autotuned to fuck.

>>455677
Arrange by newest rather than the ones they pin up.

Last weekend before Christmas and I'm properly ill. Can't stop shivering, voice hoarse, what a crock. I'm just going to order everyone almost random books online, you can't go wrong with a book as a gift, because if they don't read it it's they're fault for being small-minded.

Also, if one of you can get me some cup noodles and Lemsip from the shops I'd be very thankful.

*their fault
Sorry, I'm sick.

Kunt really doesn't like That bloke.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cm1iChFfg78

I met up with my parents today to exchange presents. I don't dislike seeing them, but every time I see my dad he looks older and he's more doddery. I don't like being reminded of his mortality.

>>455663
Has Lad Wife, or WifeBaby, or whatever her name is, always acted? That whole bit at the start is so transparently scripted. She delivers her lines pretty well, but they're not lines anyone would ever say organically.

>>455683

In the age of TikTok, we're all actors.

>>455684
I don't think this is true.

>>455683

Their whole thing, and many other 'comedy' couples like them, is to just pretend they're pranking each other. For some reason people believe them and they make money from it somehow.

>>455686
There's another lad, Arron Crascall, he used to be fairly popular for being a joker and pranking his missus on YT, but h's reduced to doing "reaction" videos now.

>>455683
I seem to remember having a part on a BBC3 thing back in the day.

>>455688
He was one of the victims of the death of Vine. Same with that Irish lad who pretended to be his annoying girlfriend.

I went to school with someone that blatantly tried to rip off Arron Crascall but it never went anywhere. All I can really recall is him filming lots of videos of him riding around on a small child's bike with stabilisers whilst grinning like an idiot. He's still doing the odd video with the aim of going viral, but nowadays he seems more interested in 'Instagramable' pictures of his kids.

Another lass I went to school with, bear in mind at this point we're talking about a single mum in her early thirties, used to be utterly obsessed with streaming Fortnite on Twitch and would often rope her kids into her stream but it never took off. I think she's had (another) mental breakdown.

I don't want reaction videos unless I stumble across one by Eddie Hall. He tends to react to gym videos and it's almost certainly guaranteed they will include several lasses with simply fantastic arses.

>>455692
Crascall reminded me of Justin Lee Collins.

>>455691
I think it can work on other platforms if you're able to get it right, e.g. Sungwon went from doing skits on Vine to doing skits on YouTube (and now TikTok) and although he's less profilic these days he can still get 1million+ views on them.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhBURrJyed4

Then again, he's a fairly successful voice artist so he isn't reliant on churning out videos.

Cold's so bad. I can't believe how painful it is to swallow now. I was tearing up it's so bad, which, yeah, makes me a big pansy, but also it's total agnony so leave off.

Thought I'd go to Asda to get the last few bits in for Christmas. Fuck me, it was absolutely rammed full with the kind of person who's never been in a supermarket before and there were so many bare shelves. They have mountains of veg in, but every pack of carrots or broccoli that I saw had an expiry date before the weekend.

[I]A mother has claimed that her child's school barred her from attending their nativity performance because of her tattoos.

Self-declared tattoo addict Melissa Sloan says that teachers refused to give her a seat inside and told her to 'look through the class window' because of her heavily inked appearance. The 45-year-old mother has previously admitted to getting three tattoos a week and has 800 inkings all over her body — including her face. But Melissa, who has two children, claims that people treat her differently because of her alternative appearance and that she's been excluded from other school events too.[/ì]

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/mum-tattooed-face-banned-attending-28786747

>>455707
I think we do this to ourselves on purpose.

>>455707
She crops up in my local paper regularly.
Facial tattoos are slowly gaining some acceptance and they at least don't lock you out of careers like they used to. But there's people who have tasteful, good quality, well thought out face tattoos. And then there's people like this who have completely random shit plastered all over.
Tattoos tell other people about who you are, hers just mark her as being absolutely batshit.

I'd also argue this sort of thing can count as abuse by the tattooist in many circumstances. (In this case it's her boyfriend doing them).

>>455709

> and they at least don't lock you out of careers like they used to


I guess your mileage will still vary.

https://www.joe.co.uk/life/man-who-spent-thousands-to-look-like-black-alien-cant-get-job-because-of-body-modifications-350064

>Man who spent thousands to look like 'Black Alien' can't get job because of body modifications

>>455710
Each to their own, but I don't get why anyone would want to lop their ears off. It'll mess with your hearing and balance.

>>455711

That's not even the full story.

https://www.joe.co.uk/life/man-chops-off-two-fingers-in-mission-to-become-fully-fledged-black-alien-302493

He's essentially spent thousands to make himself look like a recovering severe burn victim. He could've done that for a fiver with a petrol can and a lighter

Is festive TV well and truly shite these days? I'm not aware of a single Christmas special on this year.

>>455713
Do you honestly think any of us own televisions?

>>455714

Go on the dole. You'll practically be handed your own 40'' TV.

>>455715
This hasn't happened to me. How do I claim my 40" TV?

>>455713
I think it's because Christmas is on a Sunday this year. The top festive period is usually in the week with Christmas in it, but the week before Christmas is too early this year and the week after Christmas will be too late. I'm looking forward to the Detectorists Christmas special since everyone (including that other poster here who might even be you) says it's meant to be the best series ever, and I've never seen it in my life.

This is all my fault for continuing to watch TV without a TV licence. You should just watch the two finest Christmas perennials which are on every year and which it isn't Christmas without, namely The Wrong Trousers and World's Strongest Man.

>>455718
It's not the best thing ever it's just nice.

Personally I think The Dectorists is absolutely terrible.

>>455718
Why would you watch the Christmas special for something you've never seen before?

>>455720
Yeah, but we know you're a contrarian.

Finally getting some offers on my house. Under asking price but if they accept the reasonable counter-offer then I'll cope. One step closer to the dream.

SOSSAGE ROLLS


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=opRRgJ2OY3M

>>455723

I'd make Roxanne scream with my sossidge roll IYKWIM.

>>455721
>Why would you watch the Christmas special for something you've never seen before?
To find out if the rest of it will be worth watching. If I'm going to love it, it will be nice to start out watching it with all its other fans.

Tried watching the new Inside No. 9 Christmas special on iPlayer, originally shown last night, and I fell asleep so it may be good, may be shit, but it wasn't doing enough to keep me awake.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJHUbtR0yI8

>>455723
LadBaby's judgement day shall come

IT'S BRITFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.GS!

That bloke from Faithless is dead.

[yt]zXUrVJNIcgA[/xt]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXUrVJNIcgA

Did Father Christmas bring what you wanted, ladm8s?

>>455601
>My parents will probably get me a box of After Eights or Bendicks mints, possibly also wine gums and a few bottles of beer.

Two books and a tin of Lindt.

>My brother will either get me an Amazon gift card or one for a dining chain which I don't frequent.

£25 Amazon voucher.

>My girlfriend will get me bed clothes, possibly a knock-off Oodie and a few bits of tat.

Knock-off Oodie, bag of chocolate buttons and a back scratcher.

Merry Christmas, everyone. Really need to do something about my auntie buying me the ugliest clothes in the world ever year. And otherlad wasn't wrong about The Boy and His Animated Animals, every line was some kind of inspirational quote.

Merry Christmas, you shitters. I hope you all got enough Lynx Africa to fumigate a secondary school.

>>455760

My mum bought me an uncharacteristically spendy gift, one of the big gallon Yeti jugs. I must have said something about my regular 700ml one not being enough while working outside all day in the summer, and it's not something I would have bought myself.

The lass I'm sort of but not really seeing got me a bottle of Caol Ila whisky and a Britpart branded Teddy bear, which means she's been paying much more attention than I thought.

And to top it all off, my secret santa got me this lovely stubby screwdriver. It has bits in the handle! It's a Wiha! Certainly the best present in an overall unexpectedly great haul. Perhaps the best since childhood, it's usually socks and shower gel.

Mum and dad got me next to fuck all this year. Tub of Swizzels Matlow sweets (can't even stand them, took them to work and left them in the staff room as a gesture of fake goodwill to the other people working today) and some cheap polyester sofa throw thing. Not sure what I've done to offend them but I won't be getting them anything as luxurious as a Yankee Candle set or a nice wooden garden ornament in future. Cunts.

Other half did spoil me a bit, but even then half of it was things she wanted me to have, not things she thought I would like. Skincare products and clothing she thinks I'll look good in, so I can look nicer next to her, you know the drill. Not as bad as the time my ex got me a set of pans so she could use them, but still.

Humbug. I'm having a lot to drink tonight and maybe a good argument. Which one of you fancies a cunt off about gay black doctor who? I'll fuckin ave ya mayte

>>455769

My brother gave me an orange for christmas and it's really cheered me up. Well glad.

About to have mashed potato sarnies. I should have kept the leftover gravy for a bit of moisture, but hopefully the butter on the bread melts against the reheated mash and provides sufficient lubrication.

>>455774
what the fuck

>>455775
It's not really different from having potato waffles in a sarnie, just without the 'skin'.

You haven't lived if you haven't had mash between two slices of buttery bread.

>>455776
>potato waffles in a sarnie
It get's worse.

>>455777
>get's

m8, have a word with yourself.

If you've never had a potato waffle sandwich you didn't have a proper childhood. Next you'll be telling me you've never had beans on toast, potato smiles, fish fingers or turkey dinosaurs.

>>455778
I simply refuse to believe a British person has thought to eat potato sandwhiches, that is po-ta-to, when there's this far superior choice available on every kitchen counter.

>>455779
I went on a school exchange to Rotterdam when I was in year six. They had this chocolate powder thing they used to put on bread. It was the shit.

>>455766

>The lass I'm sort of but not really seeing got me a bottle of Caol Ila whisky and a Britpart branded Teddy bear

She's a keeper.

https://news.sky.com/story/britons-urged-not-to-pour-meat-fats-down-sink-to-avoid-blockages-in-water-system-12774339

>Britons are being urged not to pour their meat fats down the sink today, to avoid blockages in the water system.

>>455782
Do people not eat the rendered fat with bread or make gravy?

>>455783
Obviously not. Have you tried the cooking of the average peon in this country?

>>455783

You don't need all of the fat to make a gravy. You will need to skim off a fair bit of it because otherwise the gravy will get too greasy.

Unbelievable.

>>455786

I've tasted heaven and it's having potato gratin and pigs in blankets on the same forkful.

I have absolutely no idea what day of the week it is.

>>455802
The binmen were here earlier so it's Wednesday.

>>455803
They were here earlier as well, but their normal day is Tuesday.

How long can I keep eating my Christmas beef for? There's still decent amount left but it's quite pink (because I cooked it this year and I did it properly, fuck you, dad), so I'm unsure as to when it'll start making me ill. I could look it up online like a normal person, but I'm eating it regardless unless one of you tells me it'll give me Mega Cancer X, so the truth of the matter is irrelevant.

>>455805
It'll probably start to smell and taste funny before it'll do you any harm.

>Doncaster GP in 'you've got lung cancer' text blunder to patients instead of Merry Christmas greeting.

>Patients at a Doncaster GP surgery were left in shock after a blunder saw them sent a text saying they had been diagnosed with lung cancer – instead of a festive greeting. Askern Medical Practice sent out the message before Christmas – but instead of wishing users a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year as planned, shocked patients received the blunt notifcation: “Diagnosis – aggressive lung cancer.”

https://www.doncasterfreepress.co.uk/news/people/doncaster-gp-in-youve-got-lung-cancer-text-blunder-to-patients-instead-of-merry-christmas-greeting-3967570

I need to put a block on PC Part Picker. I don't NEED a new GPU, 25 FPS is fine, I'm happy with it, I'm just being greedy.

>>455808

>25 FPS is fine

25 FPS is not fine. Turning down some graphical settings is tolerable, but 25 FPS isn't a game, it's a slideshow with a side portion of motion sickness.

>>455809
I think I'd have to try very hard to get motion sickness playing Total Warhammers III.

The problem is most of the stuff I'm playing is absolutely fine, but then there's one or two things that are very rough. Even if I sold my old card I'm still going to be £250 out of pocket and I could buy some really nice trousers or a shit bike for that kind of money. I don't know, I'm very conflicted.

>>455810
£250 TROUSERS

Why are dry roasted peanuts so fucking moreish? I got a big 500g bag and I think it might have been a mistake. Even as I type this I can't stop reaching into the bag.

Anyway it's been shite this year, least christmassy christmas I've ever had. Not that I'm that bothered but at least with my ex we used to make some hot chocolate for breakfast and watch some comfy streams of some tossers playing christmas games or whatever. This year I just went to work, had a bit of a row with my new missus because she drank half my beers while I was gone, then got pissed again after. (She bought me some more.)

For some people Christmas is a time to forget about your problems and spend time with your family and all that, but I hate my family, so if I've got anything to be stressed out or down about, it just makes me feel worse. This year was definitely one of those years. Ah well.

I'll see you next year lads, hope you all have a good one.

>>455811
I was thinking plurally, but you inspired me to look on my go-to second hand clothing shop to see what £250 could get me. I'm not impressed, but I bet if the right hypebeast saw you wearing them they'd think you were dead cool.

I should probably attach the image so you know just how wank the trousers £250 gets you really are.

>>455813>>455814
That feels like "just because something is listed for £250 doesn't mean something will sell for £250" which a lot of charity shops don't seem to understand these days.

>>455814
26-inch waist? You don't need a tracksuit in that case. You're healthy enough already. Buy the skinny jeans instead that shops are full of but which I can never buy because they're only available in absurd sizes like 52-inch inside leg or 26-inch waist.

>>455816

26 inches is almost child sized compared to me nowadays. I've put on almost three stone since the whole corona what-have-you started, and I'm now at a worrying 42 inches.

I've just taken up cycling again, hopefully by next summer I'll look less bloated again.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dqs4BjPmtV8
Happy twixtmas, lads.

What's the protocol here, lads? Is this the general thread until someone starts a new one next year or we possibly go back to the existing ones? Do we need to have a New Year thread? It feels like we need a recap of 2022 somewhere.

Anyway, Lucy Beaumont proper gets on my tits. I'm from Hull. She's from Hull. Nobody from Hull sounds like her because she exaggerates her accent so much. She did a sitcom set in Hull last year but it was shit and anyone from Hull could recognise a substantial amount of it was filmed in Leeds. I remember her doing an article in the Graun years ago about the best things in Hull and she was recommending people go to Bob Carver's even though it's one of the worst chippies there. It's all pure affectation.

If her and Rosie Jones were on the same panel show together I'd probably have to go and off myself.

>>455819

I really don't think Lucy Beaumont is funny either. She was on Cats Does Countdown one time, and the few times in the episode that she tried to bring herself into the banter, the jokes were kind of really lame. You almost felt sorry for her, because it became obvious that she probably only got booked because her husband is a show regular.

Speaking of female comedians, I'd really love to see more of Ellie Taylor again. She can be hilariously funny, but she's made herself a bit scarce since her pregnancy.

I don't give a damn if Brian Blessed lives or dies.

I appear to be listening to a BBC Radio 4 dramatisation of Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell.

Much better than the Archers.

>>455819

>Rosie Jones

Cracking pair of tits on that lass.

>>455819
I hate Jon Richardson too. His OCD/awkward autist/curmudgeon schtick is tired. Never watched the show he's in with his wife, as I imagine it being pure shit

Rosie Jones is likeable enough but because of the slow delivery (not her fault I know) it takes time away from actual funny people.

As far as disabled female comedians go, I like Fern Brady, I feel like I would be a good boyfriend for her as we can be autists together.

>>455824

I like Jon Richardson, because I can relate to his OCD and his
obsessive nitpicking.

Jimmy Carr is my favourite comedian though, because nobody delivers massively offensive jokes quite like him. Ricky Gervais is probably a close second in that respect.

I'm also sometimes in the mood for Tim Vine's one-liners, although some of them are just too silly.

>>455824
>I hate Jon Richardson too. His OCD/awkward autist/curmudgeon schtick is tired.

He's there to be the foil and he's pretty good at being the punchline. I doubt I'd be able to watch much of his stand-up though.

>>455819
BBC North-West newsreader Nina Warhurst speaks in an unmistakable Mancunian squawk when she presents the national news, but on the local news she has the same Received Pronunciation as everyone else. I, too, hate affectation, but I also hate inverted snobbery and that is why I assume it's her Manc accent that's fake. Anyway, I don't like Nina Warhurst. Jon Richardson's wife isn't funny, but enough people seem to recognise this that I don't feel any strong hatred towards her.

A really fascinating thing about Rosie Jones that I got curious about during the Paralympics, was her Twitter profile. When she types, she types totally normally. All her tweets look like anyone else's, and they're even cleverer than many people's. It just goes to show what a pain it must be to have cerebral palsy and have to derp your way through life due to nerve AIDS. The traditional stereotype of "a retard" is someone with cerebral palsy like Rosie Jones, and yet she isn't retarded at all. This is the sort of important discovery that wokeness is meant to give us all. Even though I knew in an abstract sense that she wasn't mentally disabled at all, I had never really understood what that meant until I compared her tweets to her gimpy-voiced sentences.

>>455827

A mate of mine has a severe speech impediment and runs into this all the time. You can understand him fine once you're used to it, but people tend to assume that he's learning disabled or very drunk. Now that so much stuff is online, he regularly has weird awkward moments when people who only know him through text hear him speak for the first time - they can't quite match the voice in their head when they read his messages to the voice that comes out of his mouth.

>>455827
Wow, you're a fucking idiot.

>>455827
Please leave.

>>455830
>>455829
Did you just samefag to bully him for not fancying Nina Warhurst?

>>455831
It'll be a palsy fetishist. At least one lad here used to go on about the palsy lass from Tracy Beaker.

>>455829

We all assume that tall and attractive people are more intelligent, we all assume that RP speakers are authoritative. Everyone does it, even if they aren't aware of it - especially if they aren't aware of it.

You can consciously correct for the bias, but you can't rid yourself of it just by force of will, that's not how brains work. Nearly all of the judgements we make are based on intuitive pattern recognition and those patterns can only be ingrained by our environment.

About a third of people with cerebral palsy have some form of cognitive impairment, so it's inevitable that we'll come to associate the two. The majority of people with cerebral palsy have perfectly normal cognitive abilities, but we don't intuit in absolute terms - the far greater prevalence of cognitive impairment in people with cerebral palsy compared to the general population creates a near-unbreakable instinctive judgement.

It'd be nice if we could just will ourselves to be blank slates, but we can't. I instinctively hate women called Laura because a Laura broke my heart once. Cherry brandy makes me heave because I drank a whole bottle of it when I was sixteen. I get slightly panicky whenever I pass the street corner where I got stabbed. Those mental associations might fade over time, but they'll never go away, not completely. I have to consciously remind myself that most Lauras are perfectly decent people, that the top of Church Street is perfectly safe these days, that cherry brandy is fucking disgusting but it's not actually poison. We can't choose our instincts, but we can choose to think.

>>455833

I still firmly believe accent based discrimination is as strong, if not stronger, than dolphin rape in this country.

I mean think about it. You can have two Indian blokes at a job interview, but the one with a nice middle class English accent will always do better than the one who sounds like he just got off the boat from Bangladesh; and likely also better than a white lad too if said white lad came from a council estate in Grimsby.

>>455834
If I hear someone with a Brummie accent I generally assume they're a bit thick.

>>455834

Not if the interviewers also sound like they're fresh off the boat from Grimsby or Bangladesh when it comes to doing the needful. Maybe you're the one discriminating when your default hypothetical situation assumes otherwise.

>>455836

You've never witnessed one working class person look down at another working class person for being "rough" or what have you? It doesn't actually go both ways, only upstream to our concept of betterment.

That's the insidious thing about it. We instinctually align these things with the hierarchy we've been taught.

>>455837

Of course, but that people show a preference for others who share their mannerisms, cultural backgrounds, beliefs, ways of communicating and a host of other things is just a fact. I'm not trying to suggest there's a level playing field, not at all, but there are more dimensions to it.

>>455838

I don't ebtirely disagree, but that dovetails slightly with what otherlad said. On a conscious level you can prefer someone who shares a background common to your own, but it's always a somewhat conscious, rationalised thought process when you do that. For someone who's not actively thinking that way, the subconscious process reverts to hierarchy and preference for higher status signifiers, regardless of our own background.

>>455839

I'm not sure it's as simple as conscious/unconscious. Someone tries to make friends with me in a bar sounding like Rees Mogg, that's going to turn my stomach before I make a conscious decision about him.

>>455838

I've been quite middle class all my life, but I can put on a heavy Norf London working class accent if I have to. Working in sales, it pays to keep the way you present yourself to individual clients or customers somewhat flexible, even malleable. Speak their language, and all that.

But I posit that it's easier for somebody to fake mannerisms of a class below them than it is trying to fake being upper class, or even middle class, if you're not really part of it. The most I've ever felt out of place was when I was at a charity fundraiser function where I was casually having coffee with an Earl and a Marquess. They were trying their best to engage me in polite accommodating small talk, but the whole time I just felt increadibly uneasy. Not saying I felt small. Just like there was a whole social strata high above me that I could never hope to be a part of.

>>455840

Plenty of working class people prefer to socialise with other working class people, but how many would want to be operated on by a heart surgeon with a neck tattoo and a broad scouse accent? Looking and sounding posh won't make you any friends down at the Dog and Duck, but that's not really the point.

Based on a purely rational analysis, that scally surgeon is probably excellent at his job - it's safe to assume that he didn't get any favours from daddy's chums or the old school tie. Still, I'm not sure how reassuring that knowledge would be when you're being wheeled into theatre.

Rightly or wrongly, most of us would be uncomfortable with an airline pilot who sounds like a minicab driver, or an investment manager who sounds like a market trader. We can't actually tell whether they're any good at their job, but we at least expect them to speak and act in a way that is culturally coded as being congruent with a highly educated professional.

>>455842
>>455841

The generalisations you're both making don't resonate with me but it's sounding like that's a me thing. I'll accept that.

>>455842

I think your examples are a bit exaggerated, but you're definitely aiming in the right egg tree.

I'd trust a scouser surgeon with tattoos, no problem, and most people have absolutely no problem trusting consultants who sound like they should be working at your local curry house either, because frankly the NHS has been packed full of doctors like that for years and we've got used to it.

So that's kind ofa case in point really- We have, by and large (although by no means perfectly) learned to look past skin colour as an indicator of a person's ability, but we definitely do still judge people against a whole raft of culturally coded biases even without that. But knowing we can get over it for race or gender should give us hope we can do it for the other stuff.

If the identity politics clowns could just stop fucking it up for everyone constantly, at least, anyway.

>>455844

>We have, by and large (although by no means perfectly) learned to look past skin colour as an indicator of a person's ability

Certainly, but it isn't really because we stopped thinking in terms of stereotypes, we just changed the stereotype. We brought in so many foreign doctors that the stereotypical doctor in most people's heads is probably Asian. While I have no doubt that there were and are some racists who just think that foreigners are thick, I think generally it was a more benign element of surprise, of someone not matching our expectations.

I'd be very surprised to see an Indian lad playing for Man City or a Chinese lad playing for Lancashire cricket club - it's not a deep-seated prejudice, it'd just take me a minute to get used to because it doesn't match my expectations. I imagine that's quite difficult if you're on the receiving end, but it's not something that comes from a place of bigotry or hatred.

SO ARE WE DOING A RECAP OF 2022 OR WHAT?

WHERE'S SCREENSHOTLAD WHEN YOU NEED HIM, OR DID HE TURN OUT TO BE REVENGELAD?

>>455846
Do you really want to relieve it?

>>455847
It would be a relief.

>>455848

I usually pay extra for relief.

The best song I've heard that was released this year is probably Punk Rock Loser by Viagra Boys.

I haven't listened to enough new music to comment on my favourite album of 2022, nor have I watched enough TV shows or films to pick those out either.

The best book I've read during the past twelve months was The Player of Games by Iain M. Banks.

The problem with eating too many nuts is that you end up with very coarse turds.

>>455853

I ate a whole packet of almonds the other day. Same thing.

Personal LPOTY lads.
Hope you all have a good one, and it's been a privilege to go through yet another year with you chaps. How many is it now that .gs has been around?

I'm going to ring in the new year on a bus.