Do you last wipe for foreskin down with a bit of toilet paper after you’re done pissing or do you just shake your willy a bit to get all the leftover piss drops out?

>>466569
*lads
Fuck Apple.

>>466569

I never used to give this much thought when I was younger, but I find with age, the peril of excess drippage is almost a constant presence that I have to work around. I already pull the foreskin back when I piss to try and make sure I don't get it soaked, then I'll use tissue to dab the end off, but I find almost as soon as I let go of my knob and it returns to a natural position, there's a drip, sometimes quite a substantial one.

I put it down to having a massive knob. It's like when you finish using a garden hose, there's still excess to come out and you'll never get it all no matter how much you shake.

I squeeze it out, like I'm getting the last bit out of a tube of toothpaste.

>>466573
You roll it up from the bottom?

You lads need to start doing some pelvic floor exercises. It'll not only sort your pilly-willy but you'll be able to have more control of your piss.

But if you're still worried about drips then gently pinch from the top and bottom and then run upwards starting from the base. This will clear out any remaining liquid easily. Trust me I'm an expert on dick from practice with my own.

Here's a life hack for you lads. Blast the hair drier into your slippers for a bit before you put them on. Your feet will never have been cosier.

Technology frustrations, prostate issues, and slipper tips.

We have become old men.

My tea has been real shit, lately. If I haven't dropped too much milk in, than it's has a horrible dryness. The only decent cup I've had in the past 2 weeks was the one I'd dunked 6 digestives into (Mcvitie's, heathen). Funny how biscuit tea is the best brew, but losing a biscuit in the tea is a disaster. I figure it's got something to do with the heat of the biscuit accustomising your mouth to a hotter gulp.

How do you use Wikipedias reference section? The ^, a and b in this screenshot only return me to the paragraph the led my to the footnote. Searching Stiles, T. J. (2009) returns a likely writer but leaves me to filter all their work for a mere phrase i'm looking for.

Am I fucking dumb, or what?

>>466582

That's just poor referencing. You would hope find the full title in the bibliography section, but the failure to include a page reference is inexcusable.

You're probably looking for "The First Tycoon: The Epic Life of Cornelius Vanderbilt", if that helps at all.

Watching Brian Cox's solar system documentary on BBC2 on my surround system with the volume way up. Pretty ace.

>>466582
That will be a reference to something either somewhere else in the reference list or in the bibliography. If you can't find it, complain on the talk page where nobody will notice.

>>466585
He sounds too much like Salad Fingers for my liking.

>>466578
Can you recommend me some exercises?

>>466580

Always have been.

>>466589


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30ruBtLIvJM

>>466592

To me this is the canon Professor Brian Cox.

>>466569

Toilet paper bell-end wiping causes smeg

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5182625-dh-is-looking-at-lenin-porn

>>466597

Just shoot me if I ever end up in a relationship with the kind of woman who would sooner ask fucking Mumsnet about the weird porn she found on my computer than just tell me about it.

Also we should probably include this with any mumsnet posts:

https://www.mumsnet.com/i/acronyms

>>466598

Who cares about Mumsnet. It's just another festering sore of the Internet. Like so many others with waning relevance.

>>466598
I don't know how I'd feel about my partner poking around on my computer. That feels like an incredible invasion of privacy even in a marriage.

>>466600

It happens. From my own experience, all you can do is hide your porn thoroughly. Clear your browser cache every time, don't ever store anything you want to keep on your computer's internal memory, i.e. have an external SSD with plenty of capacity ready. And find a good place to hide it. A REALLY good place.

>>466600

My girlfriend makes jibes when I don't want her looking at my phone, because she has 'literally nothing to hide'. Well I fucking do and I don't want to hear you crying about it if you find me venting about a relationship issue on an anonymous discord after being nosy.

Just got an AI spam reply to a two year old Steam review of mine, so there's another mark of the "AI revolution".

>>466601
I once knew a guy who regularly carried around a USB memory stick, even when he would be nowhere near a computer, and would visibly panic if he ever misplaced it. He was already a weirdo without this behaviour, but it certainly worsened his image.

If you're going to such lengths to hide a porn collection, maybe you shouldn't have it.
Saying that I've been wondering lately what my family might think if they found my electronic stash after I'd died. It definitely keeps me from saving much of the lusty anal and sissy stuff.

I don't save any porn, it's always going to be there on the internet. And even if it isn't, there's always going to be new porn to take its place, on the internet. Really what's the need to save it?

The only porn I have saved is the nudes various sexual partners have sent in a hidden folder on my phone. I'm not hiding it because I am ashamed of it or anything, but the way I see it is they consented to me having pictures of their tits, but not for other people to see them. Thus it's my responsibility to keep them private.

>>466604
I used to keep a USB on me but it was just work stuff and other important documents, one of many backups. I stopped when the USB died and I couldn't find a replacement of the same type. Keeping dodgy porn on your person at all times seems like it would increase the risk.

I'm looking to spend about £50 on a pair of headphones, do I go for the Anker Q20i, the Anker Q30 or something else?

https://amzn.eu/d/fVWL5T9
https://amzn.eu/d/cfIidNb

>>466605
>Really what's the need to save it?
Some files are considered 'rare' in that it'd take a comparatively long time to find quality copies of, while others can be so niche that you'd be hard pressed to find anyone who'd actually saved them. Lost media is a realistic concept - if you want access to any of these you're best off saving them.

Over the years I've purged mutliple awesome .webm's, .gif's and .mp4's, intent on staking my personality on more stable claims, only to find many of them had become quite valuable now that they're no longer in common circulation.

It's pretty much the same as your hidden folder of revenge-porn. They have a greater value than quick wank material.

Would you believe I'm speaking as one of the 'asexual' posters of recent days? Yes, I imagine you could.

>>466603
I have noticed that other imageboards are starting to get AI spam images. I reckon in a few years it will become the new tweet spam.

It's also completely ruined any kind of drawn porn. Most content is either AI or AI-assisted now and it means they all share an offputting smoothness to them like the characters were made in a 3D printer.

>>466605
I've found it quite nice to have a little stash on my computer - under 10 mostly PMVs to quickly and reliably bash one out to. I'd say at least half no longer exist on the free internet (for not-wrong'un reasons). I assembled this after I moved house and had no home internet which is less of an issue these days with cheap mobile data but you never know.

Still wouldn't want a Mrs looking at it, not that there's anything weird but it's like imageboards where it should be my personal space and they should respect that just as I wouldn't go on Mumsnet or listen in to whatever she tells her girlfriends about my cock.

>>466607
I had the Anker Q30 a few years back and they were great. Since spent about £25 more to get the Q45.

>>466609

>It's also completely ruined any kind of drawn porn. Most content is either AI or AI-assisted now and it means they all share an offputting smoothness to them like the characters were made in a 3D printer

I really can't say that it's an overall net decrease in quality. At least not for the kind of drawn pawn I'm into, where you'd have to wade through the garbage just to find one well drawn image, and then just hope that the artist didn't shoe-horn in their other weird fetishes that you're not into to spoil it anyway.

Human pornmongers can't draw hands either, they always lazily skip over backgrounds, and any object in the drawing that isn't a big lovingly detailed cock or pair of tits always look like they were drawn by somebody who has never seen said object but only heard it described. In another language.

>>466581
Salts Diner mug?

>>466604
Think I might have posted this on here before, but when I moved for uni, I left my desktop PC behind. I had quite a bit of fatty, shemale, and monster girl porn on there.

He asked if my little brother could use my computer, and asked for my password to log in. I told him the password, but foolishly said "don't look at any of my files".

Then when he visited me a couple of weeks later, he pointed out every fat woman who walked past asking me if I fancied them then straight up said he saw my stash. He hasn't mentioned the shemales and monster girls, and it's been 13 years, so I avoided two harder potential conversations.

>>466611
>monster girl porn

Explain.

>>466612
Just stuff from the Monster Girl Encyclopedia and artworks expanding on that. They all rape men to extract their semen to sustain their powers. Some kidnap men and keep them as a husband, or have the whole oni village or whatever rape him. Slimes, oni, spiders, orcs, slugs, angels, zombies, trolls, etc. All raping men to extract semen.

>>466611

I don't think anyone would be surprised by the contents of my porn collection. I don't think anyone would be that surprised if I died in a tragic wanking accident.

>>466611

Which brings us back to what I said about hiding your porn stash. Unless you do, there WILL be a chance that somebody happens upon it that you don't want seeing it.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVB1pTb-3Tg

I cooked my pasta in the sauce I was making and now it's got that lovely taste and texture I usually associate with lasagna.

Anyone want to buy Huw Edwards' house?

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/153505529#/?channel=RES_BUY

>>466622

I know it's probably gone up in value since he bought it... but BBC news presenters must make absolute shedloads.

>>466624
The sale history says it was bought for £980k in 2005.

>>466625

Tidy profit then.

>>466622

Can we have some more celebrity houses to nosey at on RightMove? It's dead interesting. Or how about we all go off and find the most expensive house in our county/city and post it. I'll start:

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/147881138#/?channel=RES_BUY

Clearly nobody wants this place because it was up two years ago when I was buying my house. I recognise the paintings in this study because they're so awful.

What do you even do with a house this big. Clearly the current owner has no idea either because about five of the rooms are just sofas in front of a TV.

The East Midlands Railway mascot looks like a demonic entity that you'd find at the foot of your bed staring into your soul at 4 in the morning should you have the misfortune of waking at such an hour for whatever reason. Rest assured knowing that he is there, and he will steal your soul as he is looking into your eyes, then when he is done, he will adjust his bowtie, and disappear into the 9th circle of hell, whence he came.

>>466627
Have you been to The Milk Churn? It's one of my favourite places for an ice cream.

https://themilkchurn.com/

>>466627
https://assets.savills.com/properties/GBTZRSSWG200235/SWG200235_SWG21002221.PDF

Publisher and poet Felix Dennis built a wacky house. You enter into the pool room. Link has more pics.

>>466628
He looks like a character from the Garten of Banban series, which is actually worse than what you described.

>>466630
That is absolutely beautiful. However, I'll never understand why rich people make themselves home theatres that have the same seating layout as an actual cinema. I could if you were trying to pack in loads of space and get twenty seats in there, but that room has four.

Major phase of moving flat completed in getting someone to take my room. I feel a little bad about this, my flatemate is a feckless pain in the arse and the landlord doesn't lift a finger. Plus the place looks dead nice because I bought things that I might just take with me out of spite.

On my side I've found a few safe bets where I have everything I need to live comfortably at a good price but I'm holding back as there's a local artist looking for a housemate which seems interesting and would be a little out of my comfort zone while still having distance between our jobs. We'll see.

>>466629

I've heard of it but never been. If it's a nice day in the summer and I feel like a drive out into the countryside, I usually go up to Middleham and visit the castle, and stop by the Brymoor dairy farm for ice cream on the way. I can't recommend that enough, best ice cream I've ever had.

>>466630

That does look very nice, but wouldn't the entire house stink of chlorine all the time?

>>466635

The smell of a public pool isn't chlorine. It's the smell of chloramine, which is produced when chlorine reacts with urea. Pools don't smell of anything if you refrain from pissing in them.

>>466638
>if you refrain from pissing in them.
No can do I'm afraid

>>466638

Sounds like a bit of an urban legend that. In my old job I used chlorine tablets all the time for cleaning and you definitely got that smell when you set them off dissolving in water- Fresh water that neither I nor anybody else had pissed in.

It's never straight chlorine anyway, that's a bit of a misnomer. It's a mix of sodium or magnesium or whatever with chlorine, that becomes a hypochlorate solution. I suspect that's why it smells. Swimming pools are essentially giant vats of very weak bleach.

Maxine Peake had lovely milkers before she lost all the weight.

>>466640
>It's never straight chlorine anyway
A place that I worked at had the swimming pool lifeguard miss-mixed the pool chemicals this one time causing the entire site to be evacuated. I think it was clorine gas or something.

>>466642

Yeah there's some stuff, pretty common household cleaning chemicals and I think even vinegar or alcohol can do it I was in biology not chemistry so don't expect me to get that right that if you mix it with bleach will give off chlorine gas. Chlorine gas was used in WW1 as the first intentionally lethal chemical weapon, before they'd developed the nastier stuff like phosgene and mustard gas.

Woke up with a pounding headache and nausea today.

I'm probably coming down with something.

>>466652

Get some fluids down you and take it easy, today, if you can.

>>466652
>>466653
Yeah, drink this, you slut.

I got a bottle of apple juice in my Morrisons meal deal and it smells like sweaty feet.

>>466643
I thought everybody knew the two chemicals that make poison gas. Certainly everyone who frequents dark online corners like this one. I’m even reluctant to say what they are in case it’s one of those things that someone will misuse for bad personal reasons, like how you aren’t supposed to tell people online the right way to tie a noose.

More recently, I saw some advice that you should never mix bleach with anything, and that struck me as very good advice really.

>>466656

https://cen.acs.org/safety/consumer-safety/Accidental-mix-bleach-acid-kills/97/i45

>Accidental mix of bleach and acid kills Buffalo Wild Wings employee

Blimey.

I know that chlorine bleach and hydrogen peroxide neutralise each other, which is why the olympic swimming pools in Rio in 2016 rapidly turned green from algae growth.

https://time.com/4451484/why-rio-olympic-pools-turned-green-hydrogen-peroxide/

>>466656
>Certainly everyone who frequents dark online corners like this one.
Yes, because chubby chasing and tips on how to make slippers more comfy are notoriously dark subjects.

>>466656
I don't know about any of that but check out this cool way of making crystals out of common kitchen supplies!

>>466658
My thoughts exactly. It's been a while time since gun crafting manuals and facial-recognition cracking tutorials were (quietly) posted here.

>>466658

>tips on how to make slippers more comfy

I'm glad that one's stuck with you lads.

Fucking rain.

>>466663
Buy an umbrella and some boots.

There is some talk of a work outing. I have not committed either way, but I think the location will be something to do with flights. I assumed this would be one of those parachute or bungee jump outings, but apparently it’s flights as in the little feather thingies on darts, and we’d basically be playing darts.

Anyway. I had this conversation with a female colleague whom I barely know, and she said it had to be darts rather than exciting flying experiences, or she would piss herself. That poster from a couple of weeks ago was absolutely right. Then we had our weekly bullshit meeting where all the departments say what they’re doing, and the potential social gathering was mentioned again, and she interrupted the whole company with some cheery chat about how anything bouncy will cause her to piss herself. I’m the fetishist so I was not disgusted at all, but I thought the only women who would tell me about pissing themselves would be my actual friends. But apparently all women everywhere just cannot wait to volunteer this information at any opportunity.

Since the weather got cold, my cat has moved her base from next to the back door, to inside a cabinet in my girlfriend's office. Problem is she can be very demanding, which frustrates my girlfriend, but she refuses to move without force. So I've had to bring the cat up to my room and have her hang out with me for the last couple of hours

She sat on my lap a while, digging her claws into me and ruining my jeans. For the last 90 minutes she's been on my desk cleaning herself. So I can't use my keyboard. I opened to door to allow her to go back to her base but she stayed on the desk. I can't use my keyboard, but I feel bad moving her. Mouse use is fine though.

It's nice she's chilling out with me but equally I miss typing. Phone keyboards are not great. I don't know why it's taking so long to clean herself she's less than 2ft long. It sounds like particularly unpleasant cunnilingus. Lots of slurping and smacking noises. Like a flesh tunnel from hit video game Prey.

>>466669
>That poster from a couple of weeks ago was absolutely right.

I told ya!

>>466672

Cats are absolute ignorant fucking cunts, but then they come and cuddle up to you and you wonder how they always get you to forgive them.

I grew up with cats. We always had at least one cat from when I was a weelad. Never really warmed up to dogs. I don't hate them, they just aren't my thing.


self sage for rambling.

>>466675

I'm more or less the opposite. Grew up with dogs and genuinely love them, but cats have grown on me a lot since I've spent more time around them. They're a lot goofier than most people give them credit for, and I find that endearing.

>>466672
What is it with cat owners? If it's in your way just pss it out with a flick of your hand. They'll either move or think you're play fighting, the latter case you're justified in light shoving.
Cat's are cool characters and prefer to act as though things don't phase them - you can quite easily give it a pet and coo afterward, just let it know where to fuck off from and when.

That being said my mothers cat rarely comes near me, so perhaps it's not that good a training strategy after all.

Cat owners are subs, dog owners are doms.

>>466679

It's biologically impossible to fuck a cat, but I'm inferring some things about your relationship to your dog.

>>466679
What about those people who're into cat-girls?

>>466681

carpet-baggers.

I'm eating kimchi I made myself using cabbage I grew myself and it's everything I hoped it would be. Hopefully the chilli harvest will be better next year and I can use those too. I draw the line at growing shrimp or making my own fish sauce but I am considering harvesting sea salt.

Is it just me, or are there more occasions of the northern lights being visible in this country than there used to be?

>>466685

Aurora occurs when charged particles ejected from the sun interact with the upper layer of our atmosphere (the ionosphere). The atmosphere on the sun operates on a cycle lasting roughly 11 years. We're currently close to the peak of that cycle, so we're getting lots of solar flares and a high chance of aurora.

The last cycle peaked in 2014, but it was unusually weak and there were few flares with sufficient energy to produce aurora that would be visible in the UK.

Improvements in smartphone cameras have massively increased the cultural presence of aurora. Even a good show of aurora is very dim, so photographing it with a film camera or an early digital camera requires a tripod and good technique - unless you really know what you're doing, you'll just get a picture of a dark sky. Smartphones use clever image processing to stitch together multiple exposures of dark scenes, so a photo of aurora taken with a recent iPhone will look brighter and more vivid than real life.

>>466686
It's all going to get a bit weird when the earth's magnetic field goes walkabout, so make the most of it.

Job interview. Can't really be arsed. Seems alright though, wish me luck chaps.

>>466688
Good luck. I hope you don't end up with a boss who calls you at ten-to-nine because you changed to the display scale on the till and none of your colleagues know how to change it back.

>>466690

Cheers lad. I met the boss and he did seem like a cunt, but not a dickhead. I can live with that. Not sure on the vibe of the place overall really, seems like they are rebuilding their team from the ground up after losing a couple of important people, but that could be an opportunity to get in and climb up the ladder.

Anyway it's not the only iron I have in the fire so I'm not too fussed. Usually when I've done interviews while not really giving a fuck is when I do the best.

>>466691

>eems like they are rebuilding their team from the ground up after losing a couple of important people, but that could be an opportunity to get in and climb up the ladder.

Sounds like it. Keeping my fingers crossed for you, lad.

Had a similar thing happen at one of my old jobs where the team lead had left to work for a competitor, and a while later had his assistant and another person follow him. They filled the lead with somebody inhouse, and I was hired to take up the job of that other person.

We were performing poorly, you could even say it was a shit show, because although the new lead was a close colleague of the old one, she had absolutely no concept of the projects we were doing. Which created almost constant friction. She was in over her head, and was eventually let go because she just couldn't get it right. I then applied for team lead, but lost out in a narrow tie with one of my coworkers.

But yeah. There's always an opportunity when a team is regrouping. Could just be your ticket.

I'll be honest man I used to sprawl all over the desk at school. Somtimes even laying across it, eye level with the pen tip. Fuck me, I must have looked like such a troll.

>>466693

Is that in North Korea?

>>466694
Fuck knows - I assumed China.

>>466695

Not the kind of place where you want to be in school, either way.

>>466694
It's China - they installed the iron bars to drill into children the correct distance to sit from the page to prevent short-sightedness which is a problem in East Asia where they spend a billion hours studying.

No idea if it works but it's weird seeing a government proactively try to solve long-term issues.

>>466697

You're not really free unless you're free to become short sighted.

>>466589
My brother went to the same school as David Firth (Doki66), it was Hall Cross in Doncaster during the early 1990s. I remember seeing the Fatpie animations in 2004 (as proper Adobe Flash content) not streaming video like we have now. His content is kind of repetitive now but he's genuinely talented, it's a shame he never finished making the Meadow Man.

His best video is: The Unfixable Thought Machine | David Firth's Health Reminder -

Firth's mate Devvo became a primary school teacher but lost his job after parents saw his old videos, I never took them to be that offensive but such is life in the era of social media.

>>466699

>Firth's mate Devvo became a primary school teacher but lost his job after parents saw his old videos, I never took them to be that offensive but such is life in the era of social media

Modern life really is exactly the dystopia I was terrified it was going to become isn't it.

>>466699
>Firth's mate Devvo became a primary school teacher but lost his job after parents saw his old videos, I never took them to be that offensive but such is life in the era of social media.
That exactly the sort of character I'd expect to build genuine rapport with kids, these days.

Alright, whose turn is it to make the new weekend thread?

>>466702
Well that other bloke already fucked up the plan of a day/end multi-thread, so you can do it.

The game Metaphor has some major characters with scouse accents. Also the port city is mostly scousers. I don't recall a lot of scouse representation in games. You seem to get a lot of Irish, Northern Irish, Scottish, generic Northern. I used to hate the scouse accent but it's not too bad is it? Better than Brummie and West Country at any rate.

Job I went for an interview with the other day said they were impressed with me, so that's good, but because I don't have experience directly in that industry they wanted to invite me back in "for a couple of hours", so I can demonstrate I would have the aptitude I suppose? It's unusual, not had that before, but naturally I'll go along and see what the craic is.

I didn't want to say as much in the interview and come off as arrogant, but their facilities and the work they carry out seem quite a bit simpler than when I have been doing for the last several years so I am quietly confident I'd have no issues with picking it up. I just get a sense that the people hiring aren't used to recruiting for this kind of role and they are being a little bit optimistic in their expectations, but they're offering reasonably decent money so I'll not turn my nose up at it.