>>469028

As deliverylad, I will bray on the door if I don't hear you turning the latch within about half a nanosecond. Most people's doorbells either don't work or are too quiet and they don't realise, so I quickly learned it's better to give the door a good thump than stand about like a lemon. But your neighbour wasn't expecting you, in fairness, so you probably caught him mid wank or something, and you'd be a bit miffed in that case too.

What gets my goat is people who think they're above having a number on their door. Who the fuck do they think they are. You expect me to deduce it from your neighbours? Of course, I can, I'm not daft, but it's a mild annoyance when I have to audit your street first to determine if you have consecutive numbers or even-odds, which way they go, and half your posh cunt neighbours have also decided it's too unseemly to have numerals on their fucking doors too.

>>469033

I've got an illuminated house number and I've discovered that with a 100 watt-equivalent E14 LED bulb, it can serve as extra lighting in the entrance area. Because it's so bright. So I am definitely keeping it. And besides, most councils will fine you if they notice you don't have a clearly displayed house number. Because it's actually legally required.

>>469031
I can't explain why, but whenever I look at her I think of cheese.

>>469036
She wouldn't be out of place in Wallace and Gromit.

>>469036
Oh no, not cheese, sorry it brings me out in a rash.

>>469036

Her front teeth are a bit big. Not in a way that makes her unattractive altogether, but they're still prominent.

>>469038
I remember now, that's why. The resemblance is unreal.

This morning I have witnessed one of the largest arses I've ever seen in my life.

>>469144
I know it's not a distinction everyone here will make, but was it good big or bad big?

>>469145
She was overweight but, even so, it was proportionately huge.

Anatomically it was like there was a giant beachball round her hips, with most of it at the back. It was so big and round.

>>469145
Mate, could you not post delicious matures outside of /x/, please? I'm about done with wanking for the rest of the month, I have even switched out my Brifa.gs bookmark with the SFW url just to avoid those triggering threads. It's starting to mess with my fucking mind.

>>469147

You seem awfully tense m8. If only there were some way that you could get all of that tension out of your system.

>>469148

> If only there were some way that you could get all of that tension out of your system.

>>469149
Wrong kind of arse.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDk_6TGOdas

>>469149

If mistress won't take your cage off, then you can always milk your prostate.

>>469149
>>469151

Stop it you two, I can't help having a denial kink.

I don't want to be a spoil sport, but I'm concerned this is going to turn into a "jerkmate" kind of situation if we're not careful.

Anyway, I was looking into visiting St Helena and it's almost £900 for a flight and I don't know how to book passage on a ship like in the olden days, so I don't think I'm visiting. It's a shame, because I'd love to visit highly remote places like that, Patagonia, Siberia, but wouldn't you know it? They're incredibly difficult (IE, expensive) to get to. And obviously £900 isn't a completely insane amount of money I could never hope have to spare, it's just that there are a tonne of other things I'd also really like to do with that much money.

Boring fucking post but I'm hitting "submit" anyway.

>>469153

When it comes down to it this is why so many people who are, when all is said and done, still very comfortably well off are flipping out about cost of living and all that recently. It's not that they are broke but that they are having to make choices about the luxuries they splash out on, in the way that's only been a daily reality for us povvos in the last few decade, instead of just being able to spend with relatively little worry.

Before I bought a home I had lots of cash in the bank but I was always reluctant to touch it because I knew that money was hard fought savings that I was ultimately putting towards a life goal, and ever since then I have struggled to come out of a month with more than a couple of hundred quid spare. Either some bullshit comes up like car repairs or needing to replace something, or because I'm not actively trying to save any more I can justify throwing it away on whatever whim I have that month. As long as the bills are paid what else am I going to use it for.

Sage for similarly boring rambling.

I went out for a few drinks with friends last night and it turns out a couple of them are into consensual non-consent. I've nothing against that, I just don't get the practicalities of how it actually works. I would have asked, but the conversation moved on how to one of them likes it when she gets choked during sex and the other likes it when she gets punched in the face during it.

>>469155
We might know each other; I was out with my friends who are like that last night too. But I will have missed them discussing it if so.

As I understand it, you set your "safe word" and then do whatever you want as long as nobody says the safe word. So you promise to stop attacking her if she says "helicopter", and then you jump on her and start doing the raping motions while she says, "Help me, I'm being raped, tee hee" and you don't stop unless she says "helicopter", in which case you would stop.

>>469153
>I don't know how to book passage on a ship like in the olden days
It's possible but often comes out as significantly more expensive than flying.

>>469157

> but often comes out as significantly more expensive than flying.

I was going to say it's probably also expensive and complicated to fly to such a remote part of the world. But there are apparently direct flights from Manchester and London.

It's still going to cost you a bit. At first glance, Google says it's about 1400 quid both ways.

>>469156
I wonder how bound and gagged works? If you were unable to verbally communicate a safe word, while also immobilised to such an extent you can't do a safe gesture.

At that point I can see CNC accidentally turning into rape.

>>469161

Usually it's making a distinct sound you can make through a gag. Something like "nuh uh" or humming a tune or something.

>>469161
Some people hold a metal baton or something that'd make noise when dropped - indicating that conciousness has been lost or 'play' should temporarily cease.

Are gaming chairs practical as office chairs, e.g.

https://www.currys.co.uk/products/arozzi-vernazza-soft-fabric-gaming-chair-blue-10264899.html

>>469233
What's 'gaming' about a chair?

>>469235
It's what separates us from the animals.

>>469235
Adjustable and has an aesthetic like a race car seat. You can charge a lot more for a chair if it looks "cool". Other than the proper higher end brands, it's mostly a scam.

>>469237
To be fair I really like this Warhammer one, but not enough to drop £599 on it.

>>469233
You can get a proper chair for £10 less. Or £40 if you click the voucher box.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0CLLRNFB8

>>469237

Bit girly.

>>469239
Where's the soft fabrics?

If I wanted a plastic chair why wouldn't I go for a refurbished Aeron?

>>469241

If you've got £400 to spend on an office chair, go wild.

Personally, I'd be looking at the more affordable premium brands like Humanscale or Orangebox.

I'm watching the BRIT Awards on TV, and it feels very strange. I don't normally watch them, so maybe it's like this every year, but it's like nobody wants to be there. Jason Isaacs presented an award while moaning that none of the acts had turned up to collect their awards, and Stormzy was very grateful for his award, but said he shouldn't have won it and they shouldn't let people vote for awards. Everyone else has used their acceptance speeches to criticise the music industry. The Last Dinner Party said we should all go to small independent music venues and stop going to the O2 Arena, where the awards ceremony is being held.

Charli XCX has both shown up and been wholesome and positive during her speeches, and she's also made loads of speeches because she wins every other award. I never had her down as one of these "industry plants", especially when I remain convinced that something weird is happening with the solo career of Jade from Little Mix she's like the Judi Love of music, but perhaps I was wrong.

How the fuck are you supposed to open those orange-wrapped smoked cheese sausage things without making a mess?

>>469244

With a sharp knife.

>>469243
>I never had her down as one of these "industry plants",
I can't tell if you're saying you did think Charli XCX was an industry plant and now you don't, or vice versa. Seems like a lot of build-up for an "industry plant", if she was:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ajpu1piDccg
I "liked" this video because I enjoy the song and respect Charli and the late Sophie as artists, not just because I couldn't stop staring at Charli's arse the whole time. Honest.

Anyway, makes sense everyone's moaning about the industry, because from everything I hear and read from those more well informed than myself, the picture being painted is one where everything is completely fucked.

>>469246
I was facetiously saying that I did think she was. I am aware that she's been around for years, and also that she has a tendency to embrace controversy, plus she always looks like she's on drugs. It's the last thing anyone would expect for Charli XCX of all people to be a secretly manufactured pop star. And yet, during this awards show, she was acting like the safest and most manufactured one. To call her an industry plant would be utter lunacy, and that's why I think it's funny to suggest that she is, based on the incontrovertible evidence that she spent the whole evening talking like a record company shill.

Yesterday I had tenderstem broccoli on a pizza, was alright.

>>469248

I'll be having pork loins with mash and sweetheart cabbage today. Just took the loins out of the freezer.

I'm really disappointed by the chili seeds from Homebase. It's been close to a month and only two of my six Cayenne seeds have come up. So I've swapped them out for seeds from a sachet I bought last year from B&Q, with which I didn't have that problem at all.

This is why I prefer using my own seed stock. My Tabasco chillies are about seventh or eighth generation of my own seeds, and as long as I take the seeds from the best developed peppers each year, they are very reliable.

So hang on, are you lot telling me Charlie XCX writes and produces her own material and had an organic start playing small pubs and clubs while she shopped demos around to the labels? Because I don't know much about her but I somehow doubt it.

When you're talking about the very top big names of the music industry, and any "artist" who fits the archetype of fit lass who sings over some electronic beep boop music, from Madonna to Lady Gaga to Billie Eilish to Charlie XCX, they are really incapbable of being anything else. They are completely manufactured.

>>469250
I told you.

Eat the seeds.
Shit the seeds.
Grow the seeds.

>>469252

I've been hesitant to use my own Cayenne seeds, because you don't always know if they are F1 hybrids when you buy them, unless it's stated on the packet, which not all brands do. It's completely uncertain what will grow from those harvested seeds the year after that.

I started my Tabasco plants eight years ago from seeds taken from fresh supermarket chili peppers, not worrying about any of that, and in that case it worked out and following generations turned out exactly the same. But it's not certain that that will happen.

>>469251
I'm not going to pretend I'm the world's leading Charli XCX historian*. But in 2015 she began collaborating with Sophie and later A. G. Cook which has lead to her current sound (see Hannah Diamond's "Every Night" if you want a forebear of our recent Brat Summer. And before any of that:

>At 14, Charli XCX persuaded her parents to grant her a loan to record her first album, 14, and, in early 2008, began posting songs from the album as well as numerous other demos on her official Myspace page. This caught the attention of a promoter running various illegal warehouse raves and parties in East London, who invited her to perform at them.

Apprently she thinks her early stuff is shit now, and clearly she's a massive posho, but none of this is making me think her and her career are "completely manufactured". I'm not sure how working with producers is a mark against her as doesn't basically every musician and band do that? If I've understood you correctly, most music is on the outs if those are the standards we need to hold it to. Finally, I don't reckon anyone else is writing songs like "So I", "Girl, so Confusing", or her cover of "Welcome to My Island" on her behalf, because in one or another these are clearly very personal songs.

*But I might be PC Music's strongest soldier.

>>469254

Her dad's a talent agent, which probably helps.

>>469254

>I'm not sure how working with producers is a mark against her as doesn't basically every musician and band do that?

Producers in mainstream pop music really have a very different role to producers in other (what I can only call, although I am aware of how elitist it sounds, "real music") genres. Producers in pop basically just listen to the ideas the "artist" wants the song to be, and marshalls the team of session musicians and writers to make it happen, whereas in other genres they are there just as a sort of overseer and nudge in the right direction; in rock or metal, they are more of a head engineer responsible for the technical aspects of the recording process and actually have very little creative input. Usually you're not going to be heavily produced on your first couple of releases as an underground, up and coming artist- Things are very DIY at the lower levels of the industry, which always makes these popstars stand out.

They never have a self-produced EP under their belt, it's always a debut album on an international label with global marketing and radio/TV coverage, and that alone is suspicious.

>>469255

Ah, there we have it. That explains everything.

>>469256

> Producers in pop basically just listen to the ideas the "artist" wants the song to be, and marshalls the team of session musicians and writers to make it happen, whereas in other genres they are there just as a sort of overseer and nudge in the right direction; in rock or metal, they are more of a head engineer responsible for the technical aspects of the recording process and actually have very little creative input.


Isn't that also because many artists who do mainstream Top 40 music have somewhat sparse musical talent? At least when I was growing up, bands on the fringes of, or beyond the mainstream were often deep into actual songcraft and were capable musicians in their own right that had been earning their merits for years before they finally broke big, whereas many Top 40 singers seemed like they could barely carry a tune and were just picked off the street.

I was awake at 5am this morning. Things on my mind, couldn't sleep. Tried to lie-in for another hour, but at 6:15 I thought, sod this, I'm getting up. I don't think I slept more than three hours in total.

Problems are a cunt.