I was, in fact, just watching The Big Fat Quiz of the Year. It has made me think: perhaps I hate all comedians. Normally, there are good ones and bad ones doing the rounds, but I've stopped getting comedy from everywhere that I used to discover good comedians, so now all I see are the same three Avalon employees that are on every single panel show. I still enjoy panel shows, but I don't know if I enjoy a single comedian's output on any of them.

What was wrong with the trainspotting version?

>>468266

I thought I was being clever, but then I remembered that we already had a weekday or weekend thread with a Trainspotting theme a few years ago. So I deleted it and posted this.


>>468265

Panel shows used to be an good springboard for budding comedians. If you had a capable agent who gradually got you onto the panel show circuit, then you had a shot at becoming a household name. But nowadays, it's all just a circle jerk among familiar faces. I don't think I could name one memorable comedian who has come up the last five years. Granted, Covid and that, innit.

The movie Paul is oddly preachy, in a way that eluded me the first time I watched it.

>>468268
>I don't think I could name one memorable comedian who has come up the last five years.
The last time I remember being genuinely impressed, and thinking, "We've got a new good one here", it was Angela Barnes on Live at the Apollo. I just tried to find that performance on YouTube, and it was uploaded six years ago. I also didn't like it as much this time, but maybe I'm just temporarily not in the mood.

>>468271

>The last time I remember being genuinely impressed, and thinking, "We've got a new good one here", it was Angela Barnes


For a brief moment, I thought you meant Rosie Jones.

Who is proof that people can still be guilt shamed into liking somebody.

There, I said it.

>>468276

You aren't the only one. This is a strange emperor's new clothes scenario where everyone is aware. But it seemingly has no effect on the process.

I assume her function is to shut down the peal clutching woke culture war hit pieces that were popular 10 years ago, you can broadly gesture at her as a shield against accusations your program is ablist. Even if you have to ruin the program in the process.

>>468276
>There, I said it.

So brave. Nobody on this site has ever brought up Rosie Jones negatively before.

Talking pannel shows, 8 cats specifically, I watched one recently online with this horrendously autistic/atypical male comedian. I hesitated bringing it up earlier because it'd just be another Rosey Jones, but this time worse. Much worse. This time we were actively laughing at the condition exhibited through the guys behaviour. It was horrible, there's no surprise I can't easily find him online. He looks like a mong and acts like a mong. A couple of his jokes were alright but it's way to beaaaaaanz.

>>468270
It's one of the few major downsides to the film, for me. That and Seth Rogan - who I haven't liked much since his interaction with Count Dankula (if you've heard of him). Not that Count is much better, I'm struggling through a sinlge 20 minute video of his.

Ugh, I'm not in a good mood this morning.

>>468281

>It's one of the few major downsides to the film, for me.

I guess it's because it was made in 2010-11. Which was a time when the New Atheist movement was very strong, led by people like Richard Dawkins, and when the United States in particular was just off the tail end of the Bush Junior presidency, which saw an unprecedented influence of Evangelicals and the Christian Right on politics and culture. Given that movie scripts usually take years to write and refine, it probably started development some five years earlier, when the tug of war between Evangelicals and atheists was at its peak.

The culture wars incited by the Christian Right on the one hand and the pushback against religious dominance of public life on the other hand created a climate where many atheists eventually became just as preachy as the Evangelicals that they despised. They were really two sides of the same coin, both of them feeling a need to pontificate intensely. "Paul" is in that sense testament to that.

>>468281
>It was horrible, there's no surprise I can't easily find him online. He looks like a mong and acts like a mong.

Are you sure you didn't dream the entire event?

>>468288

I'm 90% sure he's talking about Dan Tiernan.

>>468289

In fairness, he's got dyspraxia. That's different from being a sperg. It's a developmental disorder that makes physical coordination of your body difficult, in a way that goes well beyond being a bit clumsy.

Although there's still a fair bit of sperginess knocking about with him on top of that.

Being a gay dyspraxic sperg must be tough. Let's hope he manages to put his knob up a lad's arse, and does so without hurting his feelings.

>>468289
It's either him or Josh whatever, the visually-impaired one.

Josh Pugh, apparently.

>>468289
Aight well that clip isn't as bad, but aye its Dan Tiernan. Check out his performance in either of these, the one I just couldn't get with.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xbdIYzByH0
Or this for a brief taste if you can't be doing with 47 minutes (admittedly some of his stuff is quite funny but over the course of a whole episode it grates horribly);

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Njpyf17Wfg

Spent some time around my cousin and still resisted the temptation to ask him if any of his contacts in the industry could help me out. He's not the only one I could ask, either. I've just kept it to myself as a point of pride. It's a weird one, just don't know if I could (or would want to) avoid the guilt of nepotism.

>>468295
Why're you even spending time with your cousin if not for neopotism.

I haven't been able to enjoy panel shows since realising that a lot of the jokes are just recycled from the guest's stand-up routines. It makes complete sense, and I'm not slating any comics for doing that, but now when I watch a panel show it gives me the sense of trying to listen to a song by skipping from a verse to a chorus and back again, in seconds long intervals.

That, and a lot of the shows are shite to begin with.

>>468295
Let me tell you something, as one prideful sod to another, most of the time, it's not worth it. In my experience holding onto as much pride as possible results in you having to let go of even more further down the line.

>>468293

Josh Pugh is a normal bloke who happens to have shit eyes. Dan Tiernan constantly plays up the eeeeeeeeeerggggghhhhhhhh, I'm a big mong act in a way that seems completely undignified.

>>468297
>I haven't been able to enjoy panel shows since realising that a lot of the jokes are just recycled from the guest's stand-up routines
That's why pannel shows have team leaders who're usually genuinely funny, successful or 'on brand', while the guests fall into categories of up-and coming talents showcasing their act, beside regular guests who're essentially 'leader-lite's with limited availability.

I've become cynical listening to BBC Radio 4's comedy competion programs, as they look distinctly like the BBC stirring a pool of ingredients to produce a new generation of comedians to draw from. I'd expect participation in these comedy competitions to require signing an exlusivity contract or some such.
I'm particularly agreieved at Rosie Jones’s Disability Comedy Extravaganza which to me seems organised to take advantage of disabled peoples positions that fewer agencies might be willing to hire them, thus offering them an obvious avenue into the industry only to sell them to the BBC whenever a quota needs filling.
It's the same thing with women builders organisations.

I don't know if any of this is true but it certainly makes some sense if you can excuse the cynicism and general shitty attitude. It's just exploitative business.

I wish I was rich so I could buy completely fucking insane outfits. Dressing like I was half-mad would definitely be my rich person hobby. Not that I don't have other things I like to do, it's just that none of them are especially costly.

Third time's the charm.

Watched New Year's Taskmaster. Mel Blatt looks like a working class version of Victoria Coren Mitchell. Absolutely would.

>>468312
Pic.

>>468313

This is the only problem with Taskmaster now, who the fuck are any of these lot? They've been through anyone you'd recognise (and who would actually be a good fit) and they're just putting anybody on it.

I've not watched the actual show in several series now but I keep going back over YouTube videos of Bridget Christie. She's out of my age range but I can absolutely see why Are Stew was into her. She's one of those complete cloud cuckoo lander airheads, but somehow not a vapid one. And her outfit here is immaculate.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBOPPtlYwrM

>>468314
The New Year Taskmaster is always non-comics, you oaf. That's David James, that nice science lady who had cancer, Martin Lewis, Mel Blatt (alright I only know that because otherlad told me he wanted to make sex with her) and Sue Johnston.

Even if you don't know their names, you must at least have a glimmer of recognition at a couple of those faces? Otherwise the Taskmaster team can hardly accommodate people don't know or like anything, can they?

>>468315

... No lad. Even for non-comics, they're fucking nobodies. If they wanted to do it right they'd have a line up like Davina McCall, Professor Brian Cox, Whichever Hairy Biker Is Still Alive, Nadine Dorries and Robbie Williams. None of them are doing anything much these days are they.

>>468316
If you don't recognise Professor Hannah Fry, you must not watch enough TV. She's bloody everywhere. She's the white Judi Love, albeit ghastly for totally different reasons.

I drank too much black tea during my spot of house renovation today, and I'm having trouble falling asleep. Tea doesn't normally do that with me. Or maybe I'm just having trouble coming down and unwinding, after doing brick work for ten hours straight today.

>>468317

I mean I consider "not watching enough TV" a compliment, but these days it's not like I'm any better off because that just means I know a bunch of niche micro-celebrities who advertise guitar pedals instead of whoever the fuck Judi Love is.

What is the point, what is the fucking evolutionary point of nasal congestion?

If you can't breathe, you die. If you breathe through your mouth, you're taking in whatever the congestion was supposed to stop anyway.

>>468321

The congestion itself is not something that exist because it offers and evolutionary advantage, it's just a side effect of the part that does. Like an allergic reaction- It might seem daft that you can swell up and suffocate if you chomp on the wrong type of plant, but the system that causes that is far more beneficial to have when it's working correctly to protect us from pathogens and toxins that it's worth the trade off.

>>468326
An allergic reaction is the immune system working improperly. So are you saying that similarly congestion, all congestion, is a bug, not a feature?

>>468326

>The congestion itself is not something that exist because it offers and evolutionary advantage, it's just a side effect of the part that does.

Congestion happens because microbes like viruses and bacteria have evolved to be able to nest and replicate in the moist warm environment of your nose. But the evolutionary selective pressure for mammals and other animals from that evidently hasn't been enough to cause them and us to develop entirely different ways of taking air into our system. By and large, our airways are efficient at filtering out foreign bodies, which either get stuck to the mucous membranes in your nose and are then slowly removed with your mucus, or they are transported back up by the cilia in your lungs and windpipe. This keeps loads of stuff from entering your lungs, where it could end up clogging your alveoli for good and thus diminish your lung volume. Also, the moisture emitted by the mucous membranes in your upper respiratory tract help keep your alveoli moist, because drying out could severely damage them.

The penalty is then that those microorganisms can occasionally invade your really quite clever respiratory system and cause you discomfort for a week or two.

>>468327

Mostly yes. It occurs to protect the linings of the respiratory system, the body considers that a higher priority than the airways being clear because essentially, in a bigger picture view (which is how you have to think about evolutionary stuff) it's better to have temporary breathing difficulty than it is to have the more serious long term infection risk or scarring you might have if it didn't flood the system with mucous for protection.

>>468329
Earlier you said it's a side effect, now you're saying it occurs to offer protection. So which is it, a bug, or a feature?

And if it's a feature, answer my point about why this supposed protection is not undermined by simply breathing through the mouth.

>>468330

... Lad stop being pedantic and/or dense. The congestion, i.e the fact you find it difficult to breathe, is a side effect (you can call that a "bug" if you like), of the fact your body produces the mucous to protect the delicate tissue of the sinuses and oesophagus. That part is the feature. It's not undermined by breathing through your mouth because that bypasses your sinuses entirely doesn't it.

The body is full of situations like this. Think about an abscess- That's mostly a "bug" caused by the fact your body is sending lots of white cells and lymphatic fluid to fight an infection and flush it out. It's painful and a ballache but it's better than letting the infection rot you away, so in evolutionary terms, it was good enough to stick.

>>468328
>>468329
Actually the human maxillary sinus is unique in being poorly designed compared to primates. Evolution isn't deliberate, it's a mess that muddles along and one of those is that we get bullshit headcolds and sinus pain.

It's fucking shit. If I could fix something it would be, well the spine, knees and hips first but then I'd sort out the human sinus.

>>468337
It's not my fault you're not being clear. Like this:

>protect the delicate tissue of the sinuses and oesophagus
>It's not undermined by breathing through your mouth because that bypasses your sinuses entirely doesn't it.

Leaving aside the fact you don't breathe through your oesophagus, you say it is delicate tissue, but breathing through the mouth doesn't protect the throat, does it clever tits?

And what do you mean by 'produce mucus' anyway, what's mucus got to do with the inflammation that causes congestion? You can have a runny nose without having congestion.

>>468341

I dunno lad, you are probably better off addressing these concerns to whichever personified embodiment of the forces of nature you believe in, I've only got ten years of experience in medical science so I am not sufficiently qualified to answer. Please hold while I "transfer you to second line" and then just put the phone down.

>>468339

>Actually the human maxillary sinus is unique in being poorly designed compared to primates

I, for one, wouldn't want a chimp nose.

Keep an eye on H5N1 lads.
PACK YOUR BOG ROLLS.

>>468343
How can you have ten years of experience in medical science and casually confuse the oesophagus with the trachea? Porkies, lad.

>>468347

[dead phone line tone]

>>468347

Ten years of reading wikipedia medical entries probably counts.

>>468347

I don't think that's really the gotcha you think it is. People die because somebody had a brain fart and wrote the wrong drug or dosage on the ward notes. So I reckon an exceptionally tedious cunt off, even by .gs standards, is an easy place to do it.

Sad to see OTYKEN behind the scenes and it being the producer bullying them and hogging the limelight.

The Trainline notified me of my "Year In Trains". The only train I took in 2024 was on New Years day, from where I was on holiday, to back home.

Then I realised I had barely left the city this year (other when I was on my way back from the holiday), and checked to find the furthest away I've been from my house this year is 11km.

Grim.

>>468472

If it wasn't for the fact I go all over the place for work, I would basically have spent the entire year within the same 10 square miles.

In my defence 2024 has been a uniquely miserable year, where I spent about six months of it in one of the deepest depressions I have ever experienced, and I had a good couple of months where I legitimately don't think I even left the flat. On balance I think it could have gone worse.

I just rediscovered my diaries/journals that I kept from when I was about 15, through to 22-23ish. I was a withdrawn misfit in school, and I only really came out of my shell at uni, so especially the journals from about year 9 to year 11 were decidedly less salacious than something like The Inbetweeners. But with eons of distance now, it's still fascinating to delve back into all my anxieties and moans about life as a younglad, with the occasional love interest mixed in, which usually, but not always ended nowhere. It's kind of a compelling read. Although the further I go back, the more difficult it becomes to put myself back into the mind of the 15- or 16 year old that I once was.

I bet this was one of you, wasn't it?

>>468477

>how fast life moves

I don't believe that sentiment from anybody who isn't at least 40.

26 isn't normally an age where life should be moving too fast for you.

Speaking from my own experience, once you're a few years into middle age, you get to a point when you don't even try to keep up anymore. You just give up. And start telling people that everything was better, simpler, and easier to keep up with in your day. Which, I have to be honest, it probably was.

I had similarly depersonalising moment over Christmas when I noticed pictures of myself when I was in my late teens. It's about 15-20 years later and I don't even recognise the person in the pictures anymore, if I saw him in a crowd he'd just be another face.

Parenting as your kids starting getting old must be surreal.

>>468478

By my mid 30s I had done enough things from different perspectives to realise I knew nothing and anyone who had stuck with one walk of life long enough to get to a position of power certainly knew nothing of life.

By 40 I've come to view high culture as a high speed treadmill. Where people are under the delusion they really know anything.

Teens will actually like they are on the ground floor if they heard of a band 3 months ago and the whole pop world will talk in a matter of fact way about someone who has a career measured in weeks.

I remember seeing a YouTubeer talk about industry plants in hip hop (kids terms for manufactured curated bands) and to my outsider perspective it is obvious they are all manufactured. No one gets to that place as a teenager without the management of the industry.

It's not that life moves too fast it is that there is a lot of hype and nonsense. And when you get older you dismiss it all as fads and then something blindsides you by not actually being a fad.

>>468478

Nah, I have already firmly reached this point, and I am 34. I was already getting there by the end of my 20s, I am sure. But in fairness, the whole pandemic thing kicked in right as I was on the doorstep of my 30s and that stolen time feeling never really ended. I don't know where the last five years have gone. It's like I was knocked out of the continuum everyone else exists in and never allowed back in.

>>468483

By the time you'll be 50, like me, five years will go by so fast, it's like, blink and you'll miss it.

You feel increasingly removed from the fast pace at which most people are forced to go through life in their 30s and 40s, but that's just as well. I can't deny feeling a certain sense of relief that that kind of rat race is mostly over for me now. Yes, I'm getting old. But so what.

>>468487

I can see why some older fellas end up so miserable, to be fair. The thing that crept up on me as a really obvious truth you took for granted, but only just actually truly grasped the implications of, is that you never get the time you've wasted back. And then I start to resent the people who caused me to waste it. That mental bitch who led me on for two years when she knew she had no intentions of settling down, that fucking daft prick who always twisted my arm into another pointless endeavour, and obviously myself, for allowing all of it to happen, for not acting sooner... But really, so much of it is out of our hands. I've not been the luckiest bloke, but I could have it far worse.

The only thing that worries me is things are starting to get boring sometimes. I thought I'd never be bored of reading, of learning new things, of just keeping to myself and pursuing my hobbies. But I do worry one day I just won't be arsed with those any more either, and then it'll get ugly.

>>468489

>is that you never get the time you've wasted back. And then I start to resent the people who caused me to waste it.


Through loads of reflection and thinking about the meaning of my own life, I've decided for myself that time is never wasted. No matter how pointless and devoid of sense or purpose a thing was that you did, you can still draw something from it. Maybe you think you wasted years with a partner who wasn't on the same page as you. Fine. Maybe you tried for a career that never panned out. Some life goal you had, but which never happened and now seems like time wasted. Or whatever else.

But at my age of 50, that way of thinking only accomplishes one thing, and that is that it gets you down and depresses you. Not only because you are running out of time to change paths in your remaining life, but because, again, there has to be some lesson you can draw from even the biggest wastes of time you've ever lived through. Some good must have come out of it, and you will be much more at peace with yourself if you allow yourself to think that way.

I'm about to make goulash from scratch for the first time in my life.

My late nan grew up in Hungary, and naturally she made the most amazing goulash from all fresh ingredients. She didn't leave any recipe for it, so I'm going to have to go by what I remember it tasting like.

>>468538

The goulash was technically a success, but it turned out that the pork fillet I had left over and used for it was off. Which I only realised when the goulash was almost done and ready to serve. It has an unmistakable taste very similar to the pork chops I fried up a while ago and which made me sick for a day. So I'm not going to take any chances this time. And I'm now eating my mash and carrots without the goulash.

My new PC arrived, so much of the day was spent sorting that.

I downloaded the new Indiana Jones game, it's quite good, kind of Deus Ex-ish. I can play it on Supreme settings (which is above the retardedly named Very Ultra) and get good framerates.

I find when I get a new console, or a new PC, I am so focused on noticing the graphical quality that I maybe don't see the woods for the trees. Texture pop in Indiana Jones is not as bad as many console games I've played, which also look worse in other ways, but then I think "shit should I have gone Nvidia or got a PS5 Pro?".

>>468539
My dad is still eating Christmas ham that's greying in places. I turned my nose up to it and suggested the same of him but he's still going on it. Complained of sever stomache cramps the other day, too.

Speaking of which I looked into his garden during the recent rains - the bucket of dog shit out there has now become a bucket of dogshit soup, spilling over the top onto the floor where the dog regularly walks and tracks it back into the house.
I fucking hate my dad sometimes. I don't even know if he's incapable of doing things for himself or merely lazy, the cunt.

>>468541

>My dad is still eating Christmas ham that's greying in places. I turned my nose up to it and suggested the same of him but he's still going on it. Complained of sever stomache cramps the other day, too.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6XhkSvsZ3LA

Been on the sick all weekend and have filled my time in by accidentally falling into the mechanical keyboard rabbit hole again.

It probably shouldn't be that surprising, but it's amazing what you can buy now premade from manufacturers - gasket mounted, VIA compatible boards with foam and flex cut PCBs for as little as forty or fifty quid. CNC aluminium versions for under twice that.

You can still of course spend silly money and days of your life making your own custom thing, but the market seems to have shifted even on the high end to "just add switches and keycaps" and the low end gives you absolutely everything. They all have wireless support now too, which I don't care about but even a couple of years ago was a rare luxury.

I don't think I'll end up building anything else as I simply can't be arsed, but I've ordered a couple of cheap prebuilds on amazon to fuck about with and they're lovely. They sound better than most boards people spent thousands on only 5 or 10 years ago.

I just took my kitten to get spayed at my registered vet, and they asked on the paperwork "Do you want your cats claws clipped" and I circled 'No'.

I got her back and her claws had been clipped. It's Medivet and they seem fairly big, so I assume it's just a mistake about something that isn't overall important, but I'm still annoyed and feel like I should write a mildly worded letter of disappointment to point out the error. But if I'm not going to get anything out of this financially, and I'm only doing it to point out a potential issue with process that may affect something more important down the line, should I just be nice and polite about it all?

In the inner-city and even beyond, boys who are vulnerable to the street begin by pulling their trousers down their backsides. Having a trouser that cannot be pulled down, but that can be recognised easily by a cleverly positioned logo so that teachers can hold their standards high with the kids, means that vulnerable boys in the inner-city are more likely to feel as if they belong to the school.

I don't get it. I've been watching a lot of twitch streamers lately and they seem to keep multiple streams running across numerous monitors. I've just checked my PCs resurces and a single stream is using 25% CPU and GPU capacity - sure I'm on lower end hardware but my point is that reducing stream quality lowers this dramatically. Yet here you have people running multiple streams and resource heavy programs, presumably at 1080p, like it's nothing. They've the hardware but why do it? Even the energy cost difference is significant - I've gone through about £4 this week through my coin-op meter, whereas I'd usually use less than £1.

>>468637

>I've gone through about £4 this week through my coin-op meter

Hang on what the flipping heck, we still have those, or are you being funny here?

>>468638
Nah I still have a coin meter, lol. Bedsit life, init. The fucking thing grinds away from time to time, keeps me awake at night.
I did once have a flat, paid less than £15 a month for electric and got a massive refund of overpayments when I left.
So yeah man, I just don't get the necessity for massive data, and by extension energy, usage.

>>468639

In my old flat I used to have a pre-paid meter you had to go to the shop and top up on this little USB stick thing. I just didn't know we still had actual physical cash coin operated ones like in that episode of Mr Bean. I tended to top up less than a tenner a week, nowadays I am pretty sure my standing charge alone would eat away most of that.

Anyway I am a fairly heavy PC nerd, but even when my big gaming machine is going full tilt it's only using about 500w, so over an hour about 15p or so. Compared to my electric heating and hot water that's fuck all. In winter my bill is around 200 quid and probably three quarters of it is purely just the heating.

If Starmer wants to do one single solitary fucking thing while he's the PM,even if he does fuck all else, he can get the electricity suppliers to stop being such fucking robbing bastards.

>>468640
> I used to have a pre-paid meter you had to go to the shop and top up on this little USB stick thing.
I had one of them when I bought this house a couple of years ago. They wouldn't let me keep it when I swapped to an electricity meter that sends bills instead. My key thingy was red, but I don't know if they're all red or if different energy companies have different colours.

Speaking of energy usage, does anyone know anything about gas smart meters? Supposedly, they do exist, and I want one because e.on are fucking abhorrent and I refuse to use any of their bullshit bollocks wank to report my own gas usage. My current gas meter says it was made in 1997, and while I remember 1997 and it was an excellent year, going out of the back door to unlock a dilapidated box on the wall and read a number can fuck off almost as much as every other thing e.on do to me. Why is there no push for gas smart meters? I have asked e.on twice now to send someone round to fit one for me, and the first time, I got lied to and nothing actually happened, and the second time, the guy acknowledged that that's what happened and then said a lot of things that really sounded like even bigger lies ("I can't personally arrange an appointment to fit a gas smart meter, but I will make a note on your account to write to you in 2-4 weeks with all the dates on, and you can pick a date and arrange an appointment that way").

If energy companies were a person, they'd have been lynched by now.

Today I made one of those Lidl bee (and insect) hotels. I got it as an impulse purchase and didn't realise what I was getting myself into as I've now got to think about maintenance and positioning so it can stay warm and dry.

Assembly was easy enough but the metal mesh is added to hold the sawdust and pinecones - something I tried to do with tweezers and a hammer which wasn't easy to do. Only after I finished did I learn that the pinecones and woodshavings are a loads of bollocks and will just rot and become a home for mites but bee hotels add them for them like dead twigs by the fireplace because people think they look dead nice. Now I have to think about where I can get a lot of bamboo cuttings to replace the large sawdust floor and the pinecone one too.

I don't think I'm cut out for this landlord business, especially when I'm not even collecting rent.

>>468631
Isn't it very illegal to cut a cats claws?

>>468643
> Isn't it very illegal to cut a cats claws?

No. It's illegal to "declaw" a cat but snipping off the points is not.

>>468644

Is the difference as obvious as I'm imagining? Like trimming my nails versus ripping them out?

Is this why gorillas are so angry?

>>468645
Yes. Declaw means removing the first knuckle of the paws. They'll look the same to us, fur covers the scars. I'm not a cat, I can't tell you how that feels but it doesn't sound nice. Clipping on the other hand is perfectly normal care for many pets.

>>468647

My brother once masturbated onto my stick insects because I wouldn't let him watch Thundercats. It didn't kill them but I didn't want them after that. I haven't ever owned a pet as an adult (I don't have enough free time for a dog, but I do also like cats) so I don't really have any experience, but even neutering your pet seems a bit mean to me. I'm sure it has many benefits and hopefully some of those are benefits for the animal and not just the owner, but still.

>>468648

> but even neutering your pet seems a bit mean to me

With outdoor cats, it's mainly about population control. It's not obvious everywhere you look, but there are considerable feral populations of domestic cats, even here in Britain. And you can't control what your cat gets up to when they roam the neighbourhood.

Controlling feral populations by means of neutering is ultimately also about wildlife conservation, because domestic cats are one of the most adept small predators in all of nature, with observed statistical kill rates of over 30 percent. There is already loads of predation pressure in some neighbourhoods with many cats with owners where those cats get to be outside, to the extent that some bird or rodent species can become locally scarce.

Neutered cats also make better human companions because the lack of a sex drive makes them calmer and more affectionate. And intact toms in particular can often roam many square miles around their home for days without once returning home, in search of a female cat to breed with.

The benefits of neutering dogs aren't as straightforward, as they are normally very dependent on humans who control what they can and can't do. And male dogs in particular often get lethargic and gain weight after neutering. But our neighbours eventually had their male dog neutered because in his old age, he was developing prostate hyperplasia, just like humans do, and it was causing him incontinence and trouble urinating. He was responding to female hormones, but not sufficiently, so they had his balls removed, which greatly improved it.

Just pulled something in my lower back while cleaning house. I'll have friends over tomorrow afternoon. I hope the two 400mg Ibuprofen tablets I just took will do their job, so I can continue vacuuming and mopping the floor. I'm not normally a clean freak, but I don't want the place looking like a dump. I probably haven't given the bathroom a good clean since Christmas.

I ordered a half-and-half pizza. The Neopolitan half I knew would have olives, but I forgot that the veggie half would also. I am now a salt based life form like all .gs users, and if I don't drink enough water before bed, I may not be a terribly long lived one.

>>468713

I like anchovies on pizza, but they can make a pizza almost inedible if they overdo it. Especially if they also put capers on the same pizza.

I love Pizza Sicilia, which traditionally has anchovies, capers and black olives. It's fucking delicious if you find a pizza place that makes a good Sicilia, but at a lot of pizzerias they just throw loads of the stuff on it with no consideration for saltiness.

Chicken, peppers and sweetcorn. Every time. Delicious.
Olives and Anchovies can get fucked.

In the past four months I've been told I look "like World War One" by a drunk guy (because of my moustache) and yesterday I was told I looked "a bit Second World War" by a colleague (because I was doing a light-tough Field Marshall Montgomery fit/LARP, I think). I may be onto something here...

That Cyclone on Gladiators definitely has a willy.

>>468717
Lack of gunt is not evidence of cock, lad.

>>468717

That's not a willy, it's just a big steroid clit.

Athena is definitely the fittest one.

Just got a spontaneous nosebleed while I was in the shower. It looked like somebody was in the process of dismembering a body.

Fury is the fittest Gladiator. Fact. The problem with the revival is that they have extremely little charisma.

Picked up a vegetarian haggis from Aldi, as they have them in stock for Burns night. Was quite nice.

I'm really developing a habit of buying loads of old used CDs I've always wanted, most of them off eBay. At the moment I'm expecting as many as four different CDs in the post. I've probably spent £150 in the last six months.

It's probably no use explaining all the advantages of owning a CD to younguns who are growing up just streaming everything. But for an average of something like £5 per used CD including p&p, how can you not buy all the albums you've ever wanted by the bucket. And own a physical digital copy that is not susceptible to catalogue changes at the streaming service you are subscribed to, which you can listen to all you want for the rest of your life* at no additional charge, and whose sound quality, at least as far as the human ear can realistically tell, is still unsurpassed by high-bitrate streaming.


* I have yet to see any CDs with disc rot in my collection. Which by now includes some first pressings from about 1982-85, which still look pristine and play fine.

>>468722
>I have yet to see any CDs with disc rot in my collection. Which by now includes some first pressings from about 1982-85, which still look pristine and play fine.
Well, yeah. I mean, it's first pressing. Or do you want to wait til everyone else has had their fun with the CDs? Fourth pressing. Yeah, like that's gonna be a party in your ears, I don't think!

Babow!

>>468722

>But for an average of something like £5 per used CD including p&p, how can you not buy all the albums you've ever wanted by the bucket

I did a similar thing about ten years ago with PS2 games. For a while they were cheap as chips because they were just old games and hadn't got the mark-up of being retro games yet, so I bought basically every game I had wanted but never got the chance to play as a teenlad.

Unlike CDs those were big and a pain in the arse to download, so buying them and having a massive collection on a shelf made sense. But torrenting made physical music media completely obsolete for me by the mid 00s. There's no special appeal to CDs like there is with vinyl records, they're just a completely redundant format to me.

Everyone always says January drags on almost infinitely, and last year, I noticed that it really did. Based on my own subjective perception, about 40% of 2024 was January. But this year, I didn't think it was dragging as much. Until just now. There's just one more week - an entire whole working week - of January left. Jesus.

>>468724

>Unlike CDs those were big and a pain in the arse to download, so buying them and having a massive collection on a shelf made sense. But torrenting made physical music media completely obsolete for me by the mid 00s.

I also pretty much stopped buying CDs in the early 2000s because of the ease of filesharing. And later the similar ease of ripping youtube videos into audio files. And for most of that time, I was quite happy with that, and my carefully curated music collection on my hard drive kept growing.

I've got a complete hi-fi component system with a decent amp and capable speakers, but if you live in a rented flat, you can only turn up the volume so much, so that meant the quality difference between downloaded files and a CD was next to negligible. It was only when I moved into my own house and was able to listen to music at volume again that I noticed that most of my mp3 collection sounded kind of disappointing.

It's probably not something many people notice today if all they've got as a reference point is tinny (or absurdly bass heavy) bluetooth speakers or mid-market wireless earbuds, but it was reason enough for me to start buying CDs again, and in many cases so far specifically to get certain tracks on a CD that I've always loved but that I've only had in my collection as mp3 files.

>>468726

It's one of the reasons I lament the loss of those knock off HMV type shops we used to have. You know that bit in the late 00s early 10s where your local equivalent of the Ridings would have about three of those places that sold loads of second hand DVDs and CDs and last-gen games. You could happily spend an afternoon wandering about them, finding a gem or two, and usually buying something you might not have otherwise tried.

Nowadays there's only really CEX and they're a bag of fucking wank.

>>468727

I often went to record fairs in the late 90s to about the mid-2000s. They were a great place to find certain CDs - or vinyls - that were a bit more rare, at a time when places like eBay didn't exist or weren't as big yet. But unless you bought very unremarkable albums there, they weren't cheap, at least compared to today. And I've still got one pretty generic, two-disc 80s music sampler from one of those fairs that still has a strip of masking tape on it with the price of £10. Which is about £20 today.

I'd love to go to one of those fairs again, they are probably cheaper today than they were back then, with the price for CDs still being at or near an all-time low.

There is apparently a site called Record Fairs UK which keeps track of upcoming fairs across the UK. Might be worth checking out.

https://sites.google.com/site/recordfairsuk

>>468727

I fully agree. I got into Talking Heads by picking up Fear of Music at a car boot sale in maybe... 2010? 2011?

I don't want to raise any alarm bells but I just went to buy some chocolate and my card was declined due to the Barclays outage. Seems quite cunty to do that kind of hack on the last day of the month in January.

Lidl worked earlier and I ended up being able to use my credit card at a corner shop. Hanging is still too good for them though.

I've had a cold all week, but tonight I feel like having a few beers.

Is it really as bad an idea as common sense tells me it is?

>>468789
What are you afraid of? Choose one:
>I'm an alcoholic and might drink myself to death
Okay; don't do it then.
>The pub is cold
Consider staying in, but you'll probably be fine.
>Drinking alone might slow my recovery
You fucking poof.
>I don't want to infect other people in the pub
Shut up and go to the pub.

>>468790
>Can't breath through my nose because of cold, struggle to sleep
>Can't breath through my nose because of alchol, struggle to sleep

My brain has decided to remember a conversation I had on MSN Messenger where the girl I was speaking to tried to persuade me that I'd said I wanted to suck a dick when I said I'd never tried cunnilingus but liked the sound of it. Explaining the etymology of "cunt" didn't persuade her otherwise. That was maybe 20 years ago and it hasn't been relevant since, what am I supposed to do with this memory?

>>468792

>what am I supposed to do with this memory?

Forget it.

I had cybersex with a lass in private chat on a chat room website once, many years ago. Still one of the more odd experiences I've ever had. She actually got me to wank myself off while I was typing with her. To this day, a small part of me in the back of my head thinks that maybe that wasn't really a lass but some lad who was epically trolling me.

>>468793

>a small part of me in the back of my head thinks that maybe that wasn't really a lass
>maybe that wasn't really a lass
>maybe

Lad. I would love to be as naive as you. It was definitely a bloke.

But that's okay, you know, you still got off on it didn't you. It was erotic roleplay. Does it really matter if it's a lad, a lass, or an LLM?

>>468793
I really had you going there ahahaha pwn3d
problem_officer.bmp

I remember I briefly made a friend over IRC, and then MSN Messenger, who was in her 40s and I was probably 16. I saw photos of her so I'm confident it was a real woman. She lived in Scarborough. To this day, I don't know if she was an appallingly tragic figure who was just happy to speak to anyone at all, or an inept lady-paedo trying to groom me.

I've had a lass related brain malady for a couple of days now too. I can't get this image of womans face out of my head, she's attractive, to me, but I legitimately don't know if I've met her in real life while I was drunk or tired, or have I just seen a photo of her online? It's very weird.

I don't think I've seen the fit Amazon driver since last summer. It's a good thing if she's managed to get a better job, but she was a lot easier on the eye than the assorted Eastern European and brown men who've taken her place.

>>468797

She wasn't by chance a petite redhead? Because there appears to be a new Amazon driver here, and she is really quite fit. I'm not sure how she manages to lug some of the heavier packages around. Would hate to have her drag someting like the complete set of brake discs up the stairs to my door that I ordered a while ago, after which even the burly Arab guy that day seemed a bit out of breath.

>>468798
Nah, she was a brunette.

I wiped down the kitchen, hoovered and mopped and then baked some brownies and ate them all. I took a picture first that I might send to a women in the middle of next week as a kind of "haha, I'm interesting. Maybe we could bake together some day and make our own heat ;)". It's surprising how good I am at procrastinating.

>>468800
Today I've had six hours completely to myself for the first time in a while. I spent just over half of it working overtime. I'm off the chain.

>>468801
One day we'll work out what makes you so motivated and me so lazy and then take over the world. Did you even get down to the gym?

>>468802
Not today. I think I've worked overtime so I can do a bit of guilt-free spending.

I want a new waterproof coat for when I go out walking and I've got my eye on a Patagonia Torrentshell, which will be at least £125.

I've just spent a literal hour sat still in my armchair surfing the Internet on my laptop.

>>468804
I did that earlier, for two hours, then I got dressed, had lunch, and did it again on a different computer. I'm up to four hours of pure staring today. I will go to Aldi at some point, but this is how I spent most Saturdays. And I am better at moving around than I used to be. I just have a very empty life.

>>468804

I can spend literal days doing that. Just a very easy habit to fall back on if I have nothing else to do. Sometimes it feels worthwhile, other times definitely not, but back in the day I remember just logging onto the internet and seeing what new information you'd find was usually a good way to pass an afternoon. I considered it no different to reading a book or watching a documentary or something similar.

The trouble is nowadays the signal to noise ratio, the quality to quantity of shite, has ruined things and made it feel like more of a waste of time. You never discover anything new any more, you just scroll through the same old shite, dismiss the same old arguments on imageboards, watch another variation on the same video. We'll never get that age of exploration and discovery back.

The early Two Pints episodes are actually pretty BRILLIANT comedy. Even for their time. They're good fun.

>>468804
I sit at my desk 'browsing' the net all day, most days of the week, and have done for a few years now on and off. I say 'browsing', I'm really cycling a handful of websites for new content, inbetween cups of tea, cooking and a couple of wanks.

Generative AI made a lesbian I respect upset. As such I'm left with no alternative but to go completely Tracer Tong on the whole AI shebang.

>>468807
They're fine. Are they so fine they should be getting repeated on BBC Three two-decades after they first aired? I'm am not so sure, but perhaps the Beeb have sold the licensing rights for everything else.

BRING BACK MONKEY DUST!

>>468809

The Inbetweeners still gets repeated as well, and the first series was on in 2008.

I guess loads of people have nostalgia for the coming of age comedy they grew up with. Maybe it's just the right kind of escapism from middle age boredom.

>>468810
Balamory.

>>468809

Tracer Tong said nothing wrong.

>>468811


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6bfxL6fgoQ


Grange Hill.


It's almost impossible to find a clip of it on youtube that isn't deeply disturbing by today's standards.

I'm feeling strangely organised this year. I'm already all set for Father's Day presents, even though it isn't until June, and I've almost got enough for my mum to cover her birthday and Mother's Day.

Probably because everything I've bought was reduced after Christmas.

RIP ARE TONY

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c0rq4evqq75o

>>468816

>The charge was later downgraded to manslaughter on grounds of diminished responsibility after a diagnosis of paranoid personality disorder, and he was released in 2003.

>>468817
Ignoring the Bleak House shooting, that sort of thing does make me ponder how big the grey zone is between "dickhead" and "personality disorder". If for no other reason than I might be owed a significant backlog of mood stabilizers.

>>468818

A personality disorder can mean you had no mens rea.

But there are hurdles. Not every personality disorder means there is no culpability. You can have antisocial personality disorder and still be very capable of intent.

Paranoia, on the other hand, can seriously affect your mental capabilities and executive function. There are stories of people in Broadmoor who seriously wounded or killed victims because voices told them to do it, or they thought those victims were secret agents sent to murder them.

If you're looking down the barrel of life imprisonment, I'm sure many offenders will try to get off on diminished responsibility of some kind. Doesn't make it right, but you and I would probably do the same.

>>468815
Have you sorted valentines yet? It fall next Friday as well so the restaurants will be raking it in.

>>468819
The advice I had in law school was to avoid it as there's a very real possibility that once you go into a padded cell as a danger to society then there's a very real chance they'll never let you out. Especially once they get their hands on you lot.

>>468820
>Especially once they get their hands on you lot.
Maybe they already have. Maybe Britchan was a honeypot for the most disruptive wrong'uns in British society and then they mind-zapped us into posting on some nonsense called ".gs" all day? Maybe that's why no one can pull on the apps, and everyone who works is self-employed and WFH? We've been plugged into a pig pen for more than a decade now, maintained by state-induced hallucinations of trips to buy shopping or to find out what Bradford is like.

>>468820

>once you go into a padded cell as a danger to society then there's a very real chance they'll never let you out.

That's the catch.

Because you had no criminal responsibility in your paranoia or psychosis, you aren't sentenced to prison. But you're probably still a threat to others (maybe even to yourself), because you are psychotic. And that's why you then usually go to into a psychiatric institution. Where sentencing and tariffs don't apply.

I'm not sure one is worse or better than the other. You'd think a mental institution is a bit more easy going than prison, but I had a close relative who became schizophrenic, with full on paranoia and voices in their head and seeing things. They eventually got sectioned due to a risk of self harm and spent a month there. It's not a nice place to even visit. People inside those institutions can actually literally be batshit crazy in ways that are difficult to imagine if you haven't seen it. One of them seemed perfectly normal one minute when he was talking to you, even eloquent, to the point where I was wondering why he was there in the first place. But it then turned out that he wasn't allowed to sleep in any of the two-bed patient rooms because he had a history of attacking and in some cases injuring other patients in the middle of the night. So they always made him sleep on a couch on the corridor, in full view of the staff room.

>>468822
>People inside those institutions can actually literally be batshit crazy in ways that are difficult to imagine if you haven't seen it

Prisons are like that too, the difference between the two populations after decades of austerity is wafer-thin. I bet you could find good evidence that we confine more affluent people with caring families to mental institutions while the poor and people from troubled homes get put behind bars.

>>468823
That doesn't sound so bad. We may as well formalise a neo-chivalric code in which the poor are legally and ethically subhuman. It's at least a way in which to organise society, as oppose to whatever the fuck we've been doing since 1980.

>>468823
>>468824

In some European countries, they used to have fortress confinement. Which was literally being locked up in a fortress instead of a prison, and it was usually reserved for members of higher ranks of society, so they could serve out their sentence away from the unwashed masses of regular prisons. Conditions were pretty lenient, you got to spend most of your day with leisure activities like reading and writing.

Hitler wrote most of Mein Kampf during fortress confinement after attempting to overthrow the government.

>>468823

You can be transferred out of prison to a secure psychiatric hospital, but (unsurprisingly) there aren't enough beds. A place that's full of people who are too mentally ill for prison is not a nice place to be.

If you've got a strong stomach, read up on the Fallon Inquiry into Ashworth Hospital. It is one of the weirdest and most outrageous things ever to have happened on this weird island.

I'd love Ben Childs's job. Getting to be a newspaper's manchild-at-large is such an ace gig.

Just spotted some disc rot on my copy of But Seriously by Phil Collins. First pressing, 1989. See the pattern in the red circle.

One of his lesser albums, but still a bit worrying. It's still playable, but who knows for how much longer. Might be a good idea to check some of the rest of my CD collection for similar decay. They normally last much longer than DVDs or Blu-Ray. My first pressing of Love Over Gold by Dire Straits from 1982 looks pristine, while I've got some DVDs from 2008-2010 that have started to become cloudy.

Just spent about five minutes making myself laugh, as I reimagined the final act of All the President's Men as Woodward and Bernstein tooling up and gunning their way through the White House, all shot like some kind of John Woo film. "You can't kill me, I'm CIA...", "I'll CIA-you in Hell" *bang*! I know it's a true story, but you can take some liberties here and there.

So, err, that's my Friday night. Fuck me, it's only seven o'clock.

Putting the washing machine on to spin and drain after it's done a wash is like the housework equivalent of snoozing your alarm on a morning.

I was in town the other day and this old man behind me fucking faceplanted the the pavement. I thought he was a child at first and left him to be tended by a parent, only a while later people came running over to help him, an old man, who must have been knocked out briefly. He was on the floor a good 20 seconds before anyone came to his aid.

Awful to say, I know, but I didn't really care. It was only after everyone came running that I had to help too, from social pressure. Had I actually seen it was an unacompanied old man I probably would have helped right away.

>>468888
It’s Saturday.

Do you think Olivia Colman is related to the people who make Colman’s mustard?

>>468892

She is from Norwich, so maybe.

What a shitty day. I can't even hope for a better Sunday because I'm working and there are bastarding train strikes. Still, new jeans coming Tuesday. Those'll see me right.

>>468891
I know, I made a mistake. Wasn't really the point of the post so I didn't bother with a do-over.

>>468890
>I didn't really care...
>... Had I actually seen it was an unacompanied old man I probably would have helped right away.
So you did care? I'm not sure I understand you.

>TikTok is being sued by the parents of four British teenagers who believe their children died after taking part in viral trends that circulated on the video-sharing platform in 2022.

>The lawsuit claims Isaac Kenevan, Archie Battersbee, Julian "Jools" Sweeney and Maia Walsh died while attempting the so-called "blackout challenge".

>The US-based Social Media Victims Law Center filed the wrongful death lawsuit against TikTok and its parent company ByteDance on behalf of the children's parents on Thursday.

https://socialmediavictims.org/

I've only ever used TikTok to watch lives of the race riots last summer. Is its algorithm really so powerful that it can invoke suicide? I'm scared to try it in case I end up being compelled to do the subway surfing challenge.

>>468895
It feels like there's scare stories about this every year.

Fuck me, even Father Brown now has the 'pale brown female sidekick' shoehorned into it. Nothing is sacred.

>>468896
That's because these are the same cases you read about years ago.

>>468898
Is this what we've succomb to? Father Brown racebait posts? Have you really got nothing else going on?

>>468899
How's it different from complaining about "representation in comedy" or otherlad fetishising that large Asian woman?

When I watch Father Brown I want lightheaded japes. The sidekicks are there to provide comic relief. Sid, Bunty, Lady Felicia and McCarthy all had bags of personality. I've no issue with them introducing a brown person in Father Brown, but when they do it to show how progressive they are instead of actually fleshing out the character it all feels extremely hollow and done for the wrong reasons.

>>468900
>How's it different from complaining about "representation in comedy"
He's beyond boring and deeply embarrassing too. As for the other thing, fucking is more noble than whinging.

>>468901
Rosie Ramsey isn't shaggable and you'll never convince me otherwise.

Jesus have youtubers ever heard of any philosopher other than Carl Jung.

Getting sick of fucking hear about the cunt.

>>468903
>Getting sick of fucking hear about the cunt.

Nah, Kant is a different guy completely.

>>468895

It's unfortunate, but they're clearly just clutching at straws. By their own admission, they have no evidence whatsoever for their claims. It's a hunch based on Mumsnet rumours, not a credible allegation. A bunch of ambulance-chasing Yank lawyers are willing to take a punt on a long shot, regardless of the human consequences.

>>468900
The only Bunty I know is from Filth, and it's certainly not for comic relief.

>>468903
When I read this I thought it was like a one liner joke about psychoanalysis and you were trying to say you were sick of hearing about fucking cunts, and I was thinking maybe he means Freud even though that doesn't quite make sense. It's what I get for reading the end of a sentence before reading the beginning of it. And yes Jung devotees are annoying.

Today I've been to a Barnardo's megastore. I've no idea how they actually make money as their prices were ridiculous. Things like charging £15 for a second-hand pair of Tesco's trousers or £20 for a retro England shirt that was covered in stains.

Yesterday/today I made the sex. She's smitten with me and things are good but she's here on a two-year placement from the US (on American money) and while being 34 she's undecided on having children whereas I'd like to have some. I've telegraphed massively what I want and she's not said no.

I guess there are worse problems to have but there's a sitcom plot in here where I try to socially engineer her, did you hear about the experiment they did to cut teen pregnancy by exposing teens to childcare only for it to have the opposite effect? Obviously I'd borrow a child and then have a thoroughly miserable experiance and she'd love it, thereby providing cosmic justice for my arrogance.

>>468895
>Is its algorithm really so powerful that it can invoke suicide?

I don't see how it's any different to the rest of the internet? Other than having money.

>>468909
I can't believe you'd think about bringing more Americans into this world after everything they've done.

Well done on having sex though.

>>468908
Is it in London at least? That sounds insane.

I don't remember which of you two was talking about "AI" eroding critical thinking faculties but apparently Microsoft did some research that confirms it.
https://advait.org/files/lee_2025_ai_critical_thinking_survey.pdf

>>468910
This was in York.

Watching the Superbowl tonight and I'm debating getting a takeaway for a very late dinner, as is the tradition, but I never know the right time for it. I had one disastrous year where I missed the half-time show because I went out and got stuck waiting for a restaurant to cook my food.

The real reason I'm watching though is because I put a bet on every year. I'll find a new betting site and take advantage of their new joiner offer to get free bets after the game so that I almost always come out with some profit.

>>468910
Thanks. I made progress both by following up with her a week later when she didn't get back to me on a dating app and putting more of an effort in when she wanted to text one evening.

>>468913

American football is boring as piss. And pretentious. Never understood how people can get excited about it.

>>468914
It's basically short bursts of activity with a lot more emphasis on strategy. The trick is to embrace the absurdity of American adverts and play a videogame.

>>468913
This is great, Chiefs are getting smashed. Navantis ad about paying attention to tits.

(scroll down)
https://www.yourattentionplease.com

>>468916
I really enjoyed the Seattle Seahawks obliterating the Denver Broncos about a decade ago because that really was a Keystone Kops Super Bowl. I still remember the safety in the opening minute. But this one didn't really entertain me as much. I'm ecstatic that the Kansas City Chiefs didn't manage the threepeat, but I just didn't feel it otherwise.

>>468917
Yeah the game was effectively over pretty quickly with KC having no chance of clawing it back but then it rarely crossed into an amusing massacre. The NFL is clearly missing an England team to do a Hastings and absolutely lose the plot in the second half.

At least all the bullshit around it was shameless in the way only America can be:

I was in Holland & Barrett and a middle aged African woman who could barely speak English was trying to get help from staff. After lots of miscommunication, it turned out she wanted ginger and turmeric shots. She bought a whole bunch of ginger shots and also some turmeric tablets as I don't think both are combined into one shot. As she was paying a separate middle aged African woman who could barely speak English, who was not associated with the first one, was trying to get help from staff. After lots of miscommunication, it seemed she also was there to buy ginger and turmeric shots.

I can't believe this is merely coincidence. I think middle aged ESL African women are planning nefarious ginger and turmeric shot based schemes. Be wary.

>>468995
Unfortunately for you, myself and otherlad are both middle aged ESL African women and now we're going get you. It's going to be some kind of North By Northwest shit, m8. Like Richard Kimble stuff.

It has come to my attention that "white onions" are apparently not the same as "brown onions". Given that every shop I have ever seen only seems to sell two types of onions - red ones and normal ones - where am I supposed to find these alleged white onions? Am I meant to be using pickled onions, or spring onions, or what?

>>469014
I think the diced onion you can get in the frozen sections of supermarket is white onion rather than brown onion. I've never seen an actual whole white onion fresh in a supermarket.

>>469014
I've never seen a white onion. I assumed they were the same as 'brown', which up until now I'd considered 'white' with a weathered shell, but the internet seems to suggest otherwise.
The attached pic is said to be white onions, but I've definitely seen brown onions looking similar. Perhaps the shape is more ovoid than usual.

You know, I took a look into Wikipedia for them and ended up reading about onion johnny's

I absolutely love these dives into traditional street occupations, especially regarding staple foods. That's probably the starting place of culture, right? A basic sustenance of life and joy? There's so much right under our noses, throughout every day life. It's wonderful.

Don't you just love that? A person walking around town selling onions?

It makes me wonder about a modern day Onion Johnny - I doubt many would buy raw onions these days while they're available at mass in supermarkets, but what if onionrings were offered, also? A variety of types, sweet, white, regular, picked - all battered onion rings. You couldn't sell them cold, so you'd have to have a fryer .. decked out in onion strings and playing French accordion music. It's straying from the tradition, but I reckon you could do something interesting with it and make a couple of quid from tourists.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wu07CTpwi3o

>>469017
That is a very interesting Wikipedia page. I didn't know that was their name, so I read your entire post assuming you meant that people used to use onions as condoms.

Best get started on making my minestrone now.

Turns out I've only got one small white onion left, but luckily I've still got a few shallots.

>>469017

I think it's fascinating that our stereotype of the French for several generations was due to a few hundred itinerant onion sellers from one tiny region of France.

Also the last Onion Johnny retired in 2022.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-61864756

If I had a time machine and was able to go back to the medieval period would the cows, pigs and everything look all different to nowadays because it was before selective breeding?

>>469022

Yep.

>>469022

Livestock breeding started at the end of the Stone Age. So by 1000 AD, pretty much all the animals that we breed for food and other purposes today already existed. Even the Holstein cow breed has been around for 2000 years.

Then again, there were probably different breeds that were more prevalent back then than they are now.

>>469024
I've seen photos of dog breeds that exist today from when photography was just invented and they look significantly different to those same breeds today. I'd wager medieval animals would look even further removed. There'd be more variety in breeds back then too, assuming the same globalisation of particular ones has undergone the same process as our vegetables.

What is the polite time interval between doorbell rings when somebody isn't answering their door right away? I went over to my neighbour's this afternoon and waited about 30 seconds before I rang his bell a second time, and when he eventually came to the door he was a bit miffed and said "I heard you the first fucking time".

>>469027
He's a cunt. Even if you had been a bit too quick, which you weren't, it's only his fucking doorbell. You weren't "here's Johnny-ing" your way into his house.

The ability of the English to be miserable about literally anything is inexplicable to me. You probably could have brought him dinner and he'd have moaned about having to wash up.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DOVuern2bEs

>>469028

As deliverylad, I will bray on the door if I don't hear you turning the latch within about half a nanosecond. Most people's doorbells either don't work or are too quiet and they don't realise, so I quickly learned it's better to give the door a good thump than stand about like a lemon. But your neighbour wasn't expecting you, in fairness, so you probably caught him mid wank or something, and you'd be a bit miffed in that case too.

What gets my goat is people who think they're above having a number on their door. Who the fuck do they think they are. You expect me to deduce it from your neighbours? Of course, I can, I'm not daft, but it's a mild annoyance when I have to audit your street first to determine if you have consecutive numbers or even-odds, which way they go, and half your posh cunt neighbours have also decided it's too unseemly to have numerals on their fucking doors too.

>>469033

I've got an illuminated house number and I've discovered that with a 100 watt-equivalent E14 LED bulb, it can serve as extra lighting in the entrance area. Because it's so bright. So I am definitely keeping it. And besides, most councils will fine you if they notice you don't have a clearly displayed house number. Because it's actually legally required.

>>469031
I can't explain why, but whenever I look at her I think of cheese.

>>469036
She wouldn't be out of place in Wallace and Gromit.

>>469036
Oh no, not cheese, sorry it brings me out in a rash.

>>469036

Her front teeth are a bit big. Not in a way that makes her unattractive altogether, but they're still prominent.

>>469038
I remember now, that's why. The resemblance is unreal.

This morning I have witnessed one of the largest arses I've ever seen in my life.

>>469144
I know it's not a distinction everyone here will make, but was it good big or bad big?

>>469145
She was overweight but, even so, it was proportionately huge.

Anatomically it was like there was a giant beachball round her hips, with most of it at the back. It was so big and round.

>>469145
Mate, could you not post delicious matures outside of /x/, please? I'm about done with wanking for the rest of the month, I have even switched out my Brifa.gs bookmark with the SFW url just to avoid those triggering threads. It's starting to mess with my fucking mind.

>>469147

You seem awfully tense m8. If only there were some way that you could get all of that tension out of your system.

>>469148

> If only there were some way that you could get all of that tension out of your system.

>>469149
Wrong kind of arse.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDk_6TGOdas

>>469149

If mistress won't take your cage off, then you can always milk your prostate.

>>469149
>>469151

Stop it you two, I can't help having a denial kink.

I don't want to be a spoil sport, but I'm concerned this is going to turn into a "jerkmate" kind of situation if we're not careful.

Anyway, I was looking into visiting St Helena and it's almost £900 for a flight and I don't know how to book passage on a ship like in the olden days, so I don't think I'm visiting. It's a shame, because I'd love to visit highly remote places like that, Patagonia, Siberia, but wouldn't you know it? They're incredibly difficult (IE, expensive) to get to. And obviously £900 isn't a completely insane amount of money I could never hope have to spare, it's just that there are a tonne of other things I'd also really like to do with that much money.

Boring fucking post but I'm hitting "submit" anyway.

>>469153

When it comes down to it this is why so many people who are, when all is said and done, still very comfortably well off are flipping out about cost of living and all that recently. It's not that they are broke but that they are having to make choices about the luxuries they splash out on, in the way that's only been a daily reality for us povvos in the last few decade, instead of just being able to spend with relatively little worry.

Before I bought a home I had lots of cash in the bank but I was always reluctant to touch it because I knew that money was hard fought savings that I was ultimately putting towards a life goal, and ever since then I have struggled to come out of a month with more than a couple of hundred quid spare. Either some bullshit comes up like car repairs or needing to replace something, or because I'm not actively trying to save any more I can justify throwing it away on whatever whim I have that month. As long as the bills are paid what else am I going to use it for.

Sage for similarly boring rambling.

I went out for a few drinks with friends last night and it turns out a couple of them are into consensual non-consent. I've nothing against that, I just don't get the practicalities of how it actually works. I would have asked, but the conversation moved on how to one of them likes it when she gets choked during sex and the other likes it when she gets punched in the face during it.

>>469155
We might know each other; I was out with my friends who are like that last night too. But I will have missed them discussing it if so.

As I understand it, you set your "safe word" and then do whatever you want as long as nobody says the safe word. So you promise to stop attacking her if she says "helicopter", and then you jump on her and start doing the raping motions while she says, "Help me, I'm being raped, tee hee" and you don't stop unless she says "helicopter", in which case you would stop.

>>469153
>I don't know how to book passage on a ship like in the olden days
It's possible but often comes out as significantly more expensive than flying.

>>469157

> but often comes out as significantly more expensive than flying.

I was going to say it's probably also expensive and complicated to fly to such a remote part of the world. But there are apparently direct flights from Manchester and London.

It's still going to cost you a bit. At first glance, Google says it's about 1400 quid both ways.

>>469156
I wonder how bound and gagged works? If you were unable to verbally communicate a safe word, while also immobilised to such an extent you can't do a safe gesture.

At that point I can see CNC accidentally turning into rape.

>>469161

Usually it's making a distinct sound you can make through a gag. Something like "nuh uh" or humming a tune or something.

>>469161
Some people hold a metal baton or something that'd make noise when dropped - indicating that conciousness has been lost or 'play' should temporarily cease.

Are gaming chairs practical as office chairs, e.g.

https://www.currys.co.uk/products/arozzi-vernazza-soft-fabric-gaming-chair-blue-10264899.html

>>469233
What's 'gaming' about a chair?

>>469235
It's what separates us from the animals.