Was looking through Facebook Messenger chats I've had over the last 15 years. What was interesting was going back I'd see a name and face I've not thought about in ages, a deep cut character in my life's story. Long forgotten NPCs unearthed. Also I was such a simp it's embarrassing. I think a level of simping is acceptable during the early stages of a relationship, but the fact I pretended to a girl that I didn't find her shit political views retarded is quite shameful.

Actually feels a tad nippy today.

>>471824
So, are you saying "rape isn't real"? If so that level of idiocy would explain your substandard grammar.

Hey, lads, remember the Fiddley Foodle Bim Bam Boodle Oo Diddley-Doodle Oodle Bird?

Fiddley Foodle does not like it when you're at risk of having another tedious cunt-off about rape and consent. Don't upset Fiddley Foodle.

>>471830

Not him, but rape is obviously real. It's just that ideas about consent and what constitutes rape have shifted since the 70s. Mostly for the better, but there has been some risk for some time now of those definitions (and how they are applied) becoming increasingly overbroad. Which is handy if your target is an increase of convictions, but it might not always help serve justice for all parties involved.

>>471830

Nah I was just being overly BRILLIANT because I was bored waiting for work tasks. I deleted it because it was pushing things even for my tastes. >>471832 lad has it more or less right though.

I was riffing on how sometimes it pushes into absurdity how media often treats the crime of rape like the literal worst thing possible, but I don't see why you would read an extremely facetious post like that and then come to the most radical logical extreme of a conclusion such as denying the very existence of rape. That would just be daft.

>>471833
Then it would seem that when one James Whale dies, another takes it's place.

>>471833

>how media often treats the crime of rape like the literal worst thing possible

Probably is, for the person on the receiving end.

>>471835

Sure, but there are still many things that are worse.

>>471834

Cool.

I've spent nearly the whole summer so far wearing the same pair of Chinese made cargo shorts that I bought for 14 euros at a souvenir shop in Crete. I was in bad need of a new pair after I ripped my old ones down the arse while climbing over some rocks and shrubs on the second day trying to get to a more secluded beach.

Can't say I haven't been getting my money's worth for those 14 euros. I didn't think they'd last much beyond my holiday, but for that kind of money, they are surprisingly well made and still look like new, close to two months later.

A m8 of mine left his pack of under the counter £5 Marlboros at mine, and they're so bad that they're not even worth smoking. I don't understand how a cigarette can have zero throat hit - it doesn't even feel like I'm smoking tobacco. I tried cutting off the filter, rerolling the baccy in a rizla, and it still doesn't feel like I'm smoking anything.

Someone once told me that the way they make the really cheap counterfeit cigarettes is by shredding paper and letting it absorb the leftover 'juices' from the tobacco manufacturing process. I'm not sure how true that is but it seems like a legit theory.

>>471838

I think they cut the tobacco with sawdust.

Fun fact - when we were kids, about twelve years old, we nicked my friend's dad's cigarette rolling paper. We didn't have any tobacco, so we took some dried hornbeam leaves from one of the trees outside and crushed them into something that vaguely looked like tobacco.

If you want a throat hit, smoke dried hornbeam. I can still feel the stinging sensation in my throat from it after all these years.

We didn't care. We thought we were absolutely cool, smoking like the adults.

>>471838
>>471839

It's rather less salacious than all that, they just get the naff Chinese cigs from the factory in India with zero standards, and put them in a Marlboro box.

Anyway if they were the Gold ones there's no throat hit whatsoever anyway so they're as good as the real thing. Reds are great but how much do those fuckers cost in a shop now? Last time I got some on a night out they ran me 14 quid and that was at least 2-3 years ago, so I'd not be surprised if they've breached the £20 mark.

>>471837
>>471838
You lads need to start living it up a bit more.

>>471841

How is smoking hornbeam not living it up.

>>471842
Well, man, that's exactly why I didn't call you out.

>>471843

You did though, because I'm also the lad with the 14 euro cargo shorts.

Here, have a puff of hornbeam.

I've complained before about apparently random people talking to me in the street but there's this one guy who persists and calls out to me quite often, when he's around. I've seen him with young teens, pub hams, and troubled young men - a fair range of characters. I've also seen him innocently hassle a couple by not understanding their hint for him to leave.

This guy claims to have funded public projects and talks about giving back to the community. He also says he runs a tech business via Amazon, and that he inherits money from the lonely old people he befriends. He speaks with a slight slur, has an unlikely name and a visage of mild mental disability.
The only things he seems to say to me are trite catchphrases that I presume are targeted toward my general look as a hippy.

I just really can't put my finger on him. I wonder if he's mirroring my behaviours and feeding back to me ideas that'll form a familiarity - basic stuff in friendliness but it's such an unusual hint in our interactions.

I've just been out for a routine walk, tried to ignore his call but over he ran for a chat of nothing. Routine aborted, straight back home, disturbed my evening.
This time he was with a couple of loud, aggressive punks. He might have been high but that he lacked his usual energy and said 'we do what we can to help the world' I'm wondering if he wanted support helping his friends .. it's really strange.

I'm gonna have to understand what this guys deal is, though I'm concerned I'm being played or will be drawn into something unusual.

He fucking almost knows where I live and dread to think of him turning up at my door, fuck sake.

>>471845
I'm afraid I have almost no advice for you. When you're out walking somewhere and he calls to you, it's okay to reply but never, ever stop walking. That's all I can offer. But I'm replying anyway, because:
>pub hams
Can you explain what these are? I might know several such people, and it would be wonderful to have a term to describe what they are, but I'd like to make sure before I start.

>>471845

Why don't you just stay inside? I never have this issue, because in order to encounter these people, I would have to leave the peace and solitude of my flat, which I only begrudgingly do for work or the promise of sex/drugs.

You've only yourself to blame, lad.

>>471845

Aggressively try to seduce him every time he talks to you.

It's only half 9 and I'm fucking nackered.

>>471846
>pub hams
>Can you explain what these are?
I used it offhand to describe a stereotypically English pub goer, as pictured here >>/b/468303. I quite liked it suggests a meat raffle.
How did you interpret it?

>>471847
>You've only yourself to blame, lad.
Nah, I think next time I'll talk to him a bit more, atleast ask what his deal is. Actually try to follow what he's saying rather than concetrate on establishing my escape.
If he does lure me toward his sex-torture dungeon at least I'll be better informed to avoid it next time.

>>471849
>How did you interpret it?
Not in that visual sense, but culturally pretty similar. The people I know are the ones who go to the pub, simply to be in the pub. They're always there, even if they're there on their own. They might know the other regulars, but they won't necessarily join them because that isn't why they went out. They went out just to be in the pub. Some of them might have jobs, but they never talk about them. Some are enormously rich, but this is rare. In the more extreme cases, they communicate mostly through depressed grunts. They don't have any interesting stories, and when they do talk to other people, it's only ever about when they last saw the other people in the pub who are the same as them. Most of them are 50-70 years old, but some are much older. They aren't in the pub to have fun, or make friends, or have enjoyable conversations, or even to drink. They go to the pub and they just sit there.

I usually call these acquaintances of mine "barflies", but I think that's an American word and I would love to find a better name for them.

>>471849
>It's only half 9 and I'm fucking nackered.

I've had this as well lately. Early to bed and early to rise, even at the weekend and I'll wake up before my alarm clock.

My best guess is that this is the work of that sunshine. You see after billions of years of evolution our bodies just aren't ready for seasons. That would be asking for too much.

>>471845

Honestly, mate? My best advice is to try to be forgiving. He sounds like someone desperate to make human connection and is probably going through a phase of proactively approaching people.

It certainly doesn't need to spoil your day to have a chat about nothing, just try not to be self-conscious about talking to him. Certainly don't change your routines to avoid someone, that's actively anti-social.

>>471845

In the past week I've had six notifications from Starling that a new direct debit has been set up with the DVLA. I've got them to cancel them as none are in my name. They've also said to speak with the DVLA as it hasn't come from them. The DVLA have said it is nothing to do with them and it's fraud against my bank account rather than anything on their end. This is going to be fun.

I was also very tired by half-nine last night. However, I bravely stayed up until half-one and now I feel like complete shit.

>>471853
Nutters are far more interesting people to talk to compared to normies. It's simply entertaining, even if confrontational.

A mate of mine once had a lovely chat with someone outside a mental health clinic who was convinced they were one of 'them' sent to monitor their activity. I would have loved to try and navigate that.

Another time I met these two semi-downsyndrome types argueing over nothing (they can be really nasty people, it's horrible, but then the opposite is also true). I didn't do very well considering this was early in my development engaging with difficult people - I tried to ask where they're from, linking it into a local special needs club as though I may have seen them there, but they took offense of my mere asking and shut down conversation rapidly ("Do I kNoW yOu?!").

I really think I should work in a vulnerable shelter or something, they must be rollercoasters. Caveat that this is being said from a non-urban locale, I would'nt last a minute in a big city.

>>471856

>A mate of mine once had a lovely chat with someone outside a mental health clinic who was convinced they were one of 'them' sent to monitor their activity. I would have loved to try and navigate that.

I did some volunteer work for a charity for some time that was helping people who for one reason or another weren't managing daily life because of mental or emotional problems.

One older chap who was still living in his own home seemed perfectly normal most of the time, but he could have his episodes where he tried to convince me that the government were after him because he was a foreign spy, and he told me they'd come after me as well if they knew I was helping him. He told me to be especially wary of traffic speed cameras, as they were a key means of governent surveillance.

A while earlier, he had actually been arrested by police for attempting to damage a roadside speed camera by banging on it with his fists, shouting at it things like "You're never going to get me! You're never going to get me!".

It may sound even somewhat funny to you and me. But schizophrenia is a very sad and crippling mental disorder. You don't wish it on anybody.

>>471857

And another time, when I got back from doing the daily shop for him, I heard him mumbling to himself in the bathroom. Or so I thought. I then went to check on him, and it turned out he had spent a good five minutes hunched over his rollator having a chat with an imaginary person in his bathroom who wasn't there. And he then even said to that person, "I have to go now, my carer wants me," and waved them goodbye.

>>471857
>It may sound even somewhat funny to you and me. But schizophrenia is a very sad and crippling mental disorder. You don't wish it on anybody.
I absoultely hear that and didn't mean to make light of the condition or experiences people face.

I've had some troubling thought patterns myself including thinking my beloved dog was a robot, that my mother was an agent, that I was an embodyment of Moses, etc.
I'm glad now to practice (key word) better habits and thought processes to keep me from wider delusion.

I've just seen the worst wig of my life, like a cross between Rod Stewart and Michael Fabricant. Copper streaks on top with blonde highlights on the tips. He also had David Dickinson creosote skin.

I can't get enough minestrone soup lately. It's quick and easy, tasty, has loads of presumably super healthy and nutritious vegetable bits in, and stops me scoffing snacks before I get to proper dinner. I like to imagine a tin of this stuff a day is doing me a world of good.

>>471861

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2o-snHDVQA

So I rang 101 this afternoon to inquire about my speeding ticket, as it has been 14 days since I thought I got caught going 37-38ish in a 30 zone. They were a bit reluctant to tell me on the phone and told me normally you're now supposed to fill in their form first on their website, but we got there.

I was getting worried that maybe there was a problem with my V5C, which I know I updated in late 2023 when I last moved, but it turned out that information was up to date. Anyway, policelad said on the phone that they have "no record" of my car going past that camera "at an illegal speed at any time recently". He told me they don't really like to admit it, but occasionally there can be glitches with the cameras that prevent them from collecting or transferring data accurately. But that I should take no chances on having the same luck next time. He then asked me, "How fast do you believe you were going?". It sounded a bit like a trap, although it probably wouldn't have been prosecutable evidence, me telling him truthfully on the phone. In any case, I wasn't going to tell on myself more than I had to, so I said, "Just barely over... maybe not at all, I'm not sure". He then gave me a brief lecture about the importance of speed limits and minding them, and let me off. That was pretty much it. So yeah. I got lucky this time. I'll start paying more attention now.

How specific is it okay to get when making Amazon purchases? Can I actually put anal douche in, creating tracking and purchase history, while relying on discrete packaging?
When I bought vaping oils I was later inundated with ads through the letterbox. I dread to buy poppers even with a pseudonym, lest my flatmates find out.
I'd rather not don a trench coat and dare witness the private shop.

We should have a /horny/ megathread somewhere. None of this [x/y] shit.

>>471864

https://www.aboutamazon.co.uk/news/operations/how-to-use-amazon-locker

I know shrinkflation is an issue, but I've had to use almost two full multipack packet of crisps to make an adequate crisp sandwich.

>>471865
Holy shit that's brilliant. Thanks!

Did you know you can have cheese on minestrone soup?

Went for a wander around the city today, the old haunts.
I suddenly feel completely out of place, being 39 and around places I've visited for years. Everyone's too young now. The square is full of goth kids where I used to hang out with my own greb friends who are now mostly stuck with two children and dead end jobs. Even forbidden planet seems to be full of blind bag labubu shit.

A guy I know and haven't seen in a very long time apparently has had an autologous hair transplant and it looks kind of underwhelming. You can tell that that's not his natural hairline from five metres away. The density is also a bit off, and the hair roots kind of look too regular. Almost like a grid pattern. I didn't say a word or comment on it, just looked at it and drew my own conclusions.

Seeing him has kind of discouraged me from pursuing my own hair transplant. I've got only about a centimetre of natural hairline missing in the front, so that you wouldn't normally perceive me as bald if you saw me in the street. But if the result ends up looking like that lad, then I think it might be better to just live with it.

>A 'real life Cinderella' was filmed and laughed at as cruel bullies stamped on her prom dress and tore it to pieces.

>Jessica Robinson, 11, left her primary school prom last month in tears when a bully 'repeatedly stamped on' her £450 blue dress as others 'filmed it and laughed' while it was 'torn to pieces'.

https://www.Please don't ban me.co.uk/news/article-15023975/bullies-Cinderella-tears-tearing-dress-pieces-school-prom.htm

I'm not saying "poor people can't have nice things" but if you live on a terraced street in Blackpool and you're spending £450 on a dress for a primary school child to wear to a school prom, this is the kind of reason why you stay poor.

>>471872
>I've got only about a centimetre of natural hairline missing in the front
Alternatively you have a 1 centimetre strip of naturally developed baldness.
There's nothing wrong with hair loss, it happens to people. Get over it or you'll end up looking like a cheap threaded hair plastic doll.

>>471874

>or you'll end up looking like a cheap threaded hair plastic doll

That's actually what came to my mind when I saw him. His hair looked just like that.

>>471873

>I'm not saying "poor people can't have nice things"

Right, and you don't seem to have a very strong sense of empathy either. What's wrong with you lad.

>>471873
>"poor people can't have nice things"
How would you suggest they live, specifically?
I've lived sans fridge now for (i think) 2 years, possibly more. I balk at a shopping recipt over £12 for the week. I'm wearing visibly patched, threadbare trousers. My furniture is either homemade, bodged from cord-seated stools or 3rd hand free.

I did try to buy myself new shoes today but I suppose £65 is breaking the bank when instead I could thread some scrap leather over the pair rubber-soles that've been sat in the gutter all week.

How many Yorkshire men we gon get?

Would you believe I went to the dump yesterday and was shocked at the kinds of things people threw away? There was a full sewing machine, a large iron hoop, fucking intact riders jacket, among masses of quality materials - wood, metal, plastic. And people just chucked it all out, wasted. It makes no fucking sense.

>>471879
No I wouldn't believe you were shocked. You're fully aware of what a weirdo you are.

>>471888
Oh no you didn't!