How do I meet girls? Obviously it's hard during lockdown. Online dating isn't working. Getting conversation out of lasses on those apps is like getting blood from a stone, and when I do meet girls from them it goes nowhere. One of us, usually her, gets bored after a date or two.
I'm not naturally a very social being. I don't chat to people, I don't make friends on holiday.
I've looked at meetup before, there are casual board game meets or generic social meets, but they're full of slightly socially maladjusted lads like myself. The things I actually want to do skew heavily male. I don't think turning up to a knitting club or something would go down well. Trying to pick up hobbies to increase my social circle seems like a good idea, but it's quite indirect. Friends are nice, but I want to meet women.
Can I talk to girls in pubs or bars, is that a thing people actually do?
The friendships are the first step towards meeting the women. When you're decent mates and you go on a few pub quizzes or nights out with the larger group, that's where you meet the girls. Then you end up being one of those disgustingly normal and well adjusted people where you all go out as a couple and have a healthy social network and support group.
Not me, I mean. I'm an awkward loner with three mates and get all my women off Fetlife. But normal people, that's what they do.
>>30864 In my experience, meeting women in pubs is usually quite different to how you might imagine it. Approaching them almost never works, but if you end up organically having a conversation with them out-with that then you have a pretty good chance. Like out for a smoke on a balcony of something.
Mostly it's easier to be set up with someone by a circle of your friends.
>>30867 Yeah, absolutely this. If you're already a smoker, you're kind of sorted at the expense of your lungs. There aren't really any better excuses to settle yourself in someone's vicinity for 5 solid minutes. Being a bartender helped too, even if you're a sperg - mainly because they have to talk to you, and it can be a nice casual demonstration of skill/confidence if you're swift on the bar and know when to give people shit about their drink choices or not.
But I digress, smoking is fantastic. Just be friendly and have a few stock questions in the chamber and don't be creepy.
>>30866 This lad also has it spot on. If you just go out to meet women, you'll end up meeting very few of them. Go out to make friends, and figure out the qualities you want to extoll and build them. Be the kind of person you'd like to be around, assuming you're not a terrible judge of character.
Also, you might already know this, but *don't put on a front unless you're only after a quick buck*. There's fuck all point being your 'best self' with a date if you can't keep that up for the rest of your life. It's much better being your normal self (with a bit of polish tbf) and going through the slog of finding someone who can actually tolerate you when you're just being yourself.
I see the usual speed dating suggestion being made, if your attractive, not shy and are capable of striking up a brief conversation with a stranger then go for it.
My experience with speed dating was guys like the above highlighted the socially awkward even more the usual
More broadly, just try to put yourself in a room where you're the only man - craft groups, creative writing classes, holistic therapy courses, whatever. Scarcity value kicks in and you're assumed to be a decent catch simply because of the lack of other men.
>>30871 Then when you go out together into the greater world you're suddenly cast up against the rest of manhood and quite prossibly fall short in comparison.
Once someone's fallen for you they don't tend to drop you for the first gigachad they see in public, you've got to get your hooks in during the basket weaving phase.
