Last year I made the mistake of allowing my ex, who is a Ukrainian refugee, move in with me under the Homes for Ukraine scheme.
As you can imagine this is not an ideal living situation. She has been living with me for over a year now, with no clear end in sight. I therefore made the decision to give her the minimum two months notice for ending my sponsorship, and I have informed the council of this.
However she keeps telling me that two months isn't enough, and that I'm ruining her life.
It looks like she won't be happy until I sign an agreement which will allow her to stay longer if the council won't be able to offer her suitable accommodation. The council previously offered her her own flat in central London, but she turned it down on the basis that the tenancy agreement wasn't secure enough for her. This to me seemed like the best offer she was going to get, and I'm not sure what would satisfy her.
She has no job, so she has all the time in the world to berate me into agreeing to her terms. I usually cave in to her demands just so I can get some sleep and get on with my life and my work.
What can I do? I don't want to just throw her out on the street or get the police involved, but I have already given her over a year, and I'm fed up. I want my flat and my life back
Two months is plenty of time to find a place of your own. 3 months would have been generous. Her beration during that time can be mentioned in any followup letters to the council, even the courts if necessary (I presume there're laws around this?).
According to what you've said of her, you're her security in the country while she does .. what, escape the war?
You might ease her fear and reassure your mind if you helped her look for a place. You could offer a £500 paracute on the way out.
Hold off signing the agreement for use later during ultimatum - it's not their weapon, it's yours. If they give you shit, you wont sign it.
This'll be the closure your relationship obviously needs.
>It looks like she won't be happy until
You won't be happy until she's gone. Two months isn't that long, are you sure you can't grin and bear it until then?
>However she keeps telling me that two months isn't enough, and that I'm ruining her life.
I'll echo otherlads that you're under no obligation to keep her around and this isn't psychologically healthy home environment for you. I know you want to be the honest man who is in the right but she's taking the piss and you don't have to justify anything, she seems to feel no pressure to leave and I suspect you're being taken advantage of. If you own the property then I'd be cognisant that you might have to get her evicted which is going to be a long process.
This is one of those times I really want to grab you lads by the shoulders and shout "YOUR FEELINGS MATTER TOO" until our eardrums bleed.
She is taking you for a ride. She has already been offered alternatives. You are willingly sacrificing your mental wellbeing and life, probably because you have been conditioned to think it's "the right thing to do", but you have already done enough.
You have already bent over backwards. Give her the two months and reclaim your life, you absolute lunatic.
