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>> No. 9430 Anonymous
26th January 2016
Tuesday 10:09 pm
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Huddersfield charity shop finally says goodbye to a shutter which lasted 26 years


http://www.examiner.co.uk/news/west-yorkshire-news/huddersfield-charity-shop-finally-says-10780879

That's it. That's literally it. A charity shop has replaced one of its roller shutters after having the same one for 26 years. It's all go in Huddersfield.

I challenge you lads to find a more pointless news story than this.
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>> No. 20700 Anonymous
24th November 2019
Sunday 10:17 am
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>>20698


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nXiQtD5gcHU
>> No. 20701 Anonymous
24th November 2019
Sunday 11:53 am
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>>20697>>20698
When you start doing family trees, you find tons of this kind of stuff going back years. I don't know any family who hasn't got stories like this, somewhere.
>> No. 20702 Anonymous
24th November 2019
Sunday 12:11 pm
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When my great-grandfather was making his way back across Europe after IIWW ended he stopped off in France to father a couple of bastards, before finally returning to Liverpool to father some not-bastards. I think I've posted about this before, but whatever. This thread's leading me to have serious doubts about the old adage "distance makes the heart grow fonder", as it usually seems to wind up producing lots of extra-marital shagging instead.
>> No. 20703 Anonymous
25th November 2019
Monday 1:04 am
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>>20702

>When my great-grandfather was making his way back across Europe after IIWW ended he stopped off in France to father a couple of bastards

French women really seemed to be up for it in those days. I saw a documentary once about that. A lot of them were easy to win over if you were a dashing Wehrmacht uniformlad. So you didn't even have to be on our side to pull French birds get them in the sack.

However, this was not something that the French as a whole took kindly to. There were accounts that in some villages, those women were seized by angry mobs, their heads were shaved, and they were paraded around the village with a sign around their neck that read "I slept with a German pig".

Cheese eating surrender monkeys.
>> No. 20704 Anonymous
25th November 2019
Monday 1:37 am
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>>20703



>>20701

One of the many reasons why those DNA testing kits are a bad idea - there's a non-zero chance that you'll find out that your dad is a dirty shagger or your mam is a slag.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/talking-about-men/201903/how-dna-ancestry-tests-can-turn-your-world-upside-down
>> No. 20705 Anonymous
25th November 2019
Monday 2:02 am
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>>20704

>Mental health research indicates that major, unexpected shocks have the potential to cause much emotional upheaval.


Not entirely related, but one of my exes once found out while doing some ancestry research that one of her direct ancestors during Edwardian times was a murderer, and convicted and sentenced to death for killing several women after raping them. Nobody in her family talked much about him, and because he and his wife divorced after a few years, nobody in my ex's family actually knew much about what happened to him later in his life. My ex was really pretty shocked and it took her some time to come to grips with it.
>> No. 20706 Anonymous
25th November 2019
Monday 6:58 am
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>>20703
I've seen interviews with British women who thought that the Second World War was great and they didn't want it to end because they were having so much sex.

I suppose the thought that the Luftwaffe could drop a bomb and kill you at any moment would be enough to loosen your inhibitions somewhat.
>> No. 20707 Anonymous
25th November 2019
Monday 2:10 pm
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>>20706

>British women who thought that the Second World War was great and they didn't want it to end because they were having so much sex.

Great. So they were basically being slags on the home front while their men were risking their arses in the trenches of Normandy.
>> No. 20708 Anonymous
25th November 2019
Monday 2:28 pm
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>>20707
>Luftwaffe
>Normandy

Lad. Oh, lad.
>> No. 20709 Anonymous
26th November 2019
Tuesday 10:11 pm
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The Netherlands' leading supermarket chain has abandoned a request for staff to upload semi-naked photographs of themselves to an app so it could work out sizes for a new uniform.

Albert Heijn had called on staff at a branch in the eastern city of Nijmegen to upload photos of themselves in their underwear or tight-fitting sports gear.


https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-50559884
>> No. 20710 Anonymous
26th November 2019
Tuesday 10:43 pm
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>>20707

The trope of a soldier's wife sleeping with other men while he's away fighting dates back centuries. In fact, I think there's even references to it in texts from antiquity or further back. Sex and violence. We're a pretty grim species, at times.
>> No. 20749 Anonymous
18th December 2019
Wednesday 10:47 pm
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Man spotted pleasuring himself while eating a cream cake outside Plymouth shop

https://www.plymouthherald.co.uk/news/plymouth-news/man-spotted-pleasuring-himself-eating-3654976
>> No. 20750 Anonymous
18th December 2019
Wednesday 10:52 pm
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>>20749
This is what happens when people only get 20 minutes for lunch.

Vote Labour, end street wanking now!
>> No. 20751 Anonymous
19th December 2019
Thursday 11:19 am
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>>20749 TFA makes it sound much more like he was having an incompetent drunken piss than wanking himself silly.
>> No. 20761 Anonymous
20th December 2019
Friday 11:41 pm
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>>20751

>more like he was having an incompetent drunken piss than wanking himself silly

Has that never felt like a continuum to you while you were off your tits?
>> No. 20876 Anonymous
9th January 2020
Thursday 10:15 pm
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Jesus wept.
>> No. 20877 Anonymous
10th January 2020
Friday 1:25 am
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>>20876
Well it beats drinking Huel.
>> No. 20878 Anonymous
10th January 2020
Friday 12:12 pm
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Cafe's naughty-sounding name shows up on bank statements - but wives are seeing the funny side

A cafe owner says its naughty-sounding name has led to an unexpected rise in business.

The Tea's Me Cafe in Lockwood has seen an increase in couples calling in on Saturdays and, according to its owner, it's all down to the cafe's name showing up on male customers' bank statements. A spokesman for the Albert Street cafe said 'banter levels' had gone through the roof.

"Our name comes up as Teas Me on debit cards, so men have had to bring in their partners to prove to them we are a cafe. We came up with the name after sitting down and having a think. We were going to go for 'Baps to the Future'. We've had a few people in who said their partner thought they had been on a dodgy website or something. The men have been bringing in their partners on a Saturday morning to see it's just a cafe. We've had a lot of good banter."


https://www.examinerlive.co.uk/news/west-yorkshire-news/cafes-naughty-sounding-name-shows-17538542

Banter. Banter. Banter. Banter. Banter. Banter. Banter. Banter. Banter. Banter. Banter. Banter. Banter. Banter. Banter. Banter. Banter. Banter. Banter. Banter. Banter. Banter. Banter. Banter.
>> No. 20881 Anonymous
10th January 2020
Friday 12:32 pm
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>>20877
Disparaging Huel even ironically is not funny.
>> No. 20884 Anonymous
10th January 2020
Friday 7:10 pm
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Lads, I don't know quite what direction this thread has taken 1300 posts after discussing those shutters, but I've just had a potentially amazing idea.

Traffic lights, right? How often are you driving and you get stopped when the person already crossed? Or how often do you feel a twinge of guilt for pressing the button before realising you can just go now?

How much time do you think would be saved if the traffic button needed to be pressed twice - once to queue a request, and once to activate it? So if there's no one there to press the button a second time, when it's flashing or making a unique beep, then the lights won't change.

I'm not sure what to call it. Possibly 'retarded', but it could surely be a newsworthy idea.
>> No. 20885 Anonymous
10th January 2020
Friday 7:19 pm
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>>20884
>So if there's no one there to press the button a second time, when it's flashing or making a unique beep, then the lights won't change.
So you're saying that we should keep the signals indicating that you should cross now, including the beeping for blind people, but just don't stop the cars?
>> No. 20886 Anonymous
10th January 2020
Friday 7:24 pm
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>>20885

>So you're saying that we should keep the signals indicating that you should cross now, including the beeping for blind people, but just don't stop the cars?

Is that what I said? Fuck. I meant a different toned beep so blind people don't just walk in the road. The lights wouldn't change, neither traffic nor pedestrian, unless there's someone still waiting to cross after the initial press, since there's generally a delay.
>> No. 20887 Anonymous
10th January 2020
Friday 7:26 pm
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>>20885

I get what he's saying, after the first press, at the time the lights would have changed instead a calming woman voice would say "Are you still here? Press again to confirm" and if it was pressed again the lights would change. It's a perfect system.

From the perspective of a motorist, though, watching the lights change as a direct reaction to some cunt stood there pressing the button would probably annoy me far more than them changing themselves while unoccupied by pedestrians.

As I type this though, I realise that I'm pretty sure many crossings already have pedestrian sensing cameras on them, so I'd be pretty fucking surprised if they didn't already simply not change if the crossing no longer has people stood at it.
>> No. 20888 Anonymous
10th January 2020
Friday 9:18 pm
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>>20887

Thanks for being my wordsmith mate.

>watching the lights change as a direct reaction to some cunt stood there pressing the button would probably annoy me far more than them changing themselves while unoccupied by pedestrians.

Fuck, really? I've not driven in 10 years so I don't really know, I assumed it'd be more annoying to have them arbitrarily stop you with nary a punter in sight.

>As I type this though, I realise that I'm pretty sure many crossings already have pedestrian sensing cameras on them, so I'd be pretty fucking surprised if they didn't already simply not change if the crossing no longer has people stood at it.

Good point, though presumably this isn't super widespread, but still somewhat prevalent. Do you know that they would prevent a change occurring if detecting no pedestrian at the lights, or is that a guess? Seems like something that could produce false positives depending on the method, do you know if that system is widespread?
>> No. 20889 Anonymous
10th January 2020
Friday 9:29 pm
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>>20888

>Do you know that they would prevent a change occurring if detecting no pedestrian at the lights, or is that a guess?

It's just a guess, possibly based on fuzzy memories of observing them, but I feel like I haven't been stuck waiting at an empty crossing in a good long while.

Couldn't really tell you an more, but I notice just about every crossing in my particular town has camera/sensor things pointed at the pedestrians.
>> No. 21367 Anonymous
17th February 2020
Monday 8:21 pm
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Hmmmmmm
>> No. 21555 Anonymous
29th February 2020
Saturday 10:26 pm
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https://www.jacksonfreepress.com/news/2020/feb/27/mississippi-mulls-checking-tax-info-welfare-recipi/
Serious (American) story, unserious (American) hair.
>> No. 21558 Anonymous
29th February 2020
Saturday 11:04 pm
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>>21555
He reminds me of the preacher boy.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kttVCbTrDLw
>> No. 21564 Anonymous
1st March 2020
Sunday 1:53 pm
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>>21558

I see years of gay conversion therapy ahead for this poor lad.

The scary thing is, from my experience of spending plenty of time stateside and knowing a few people in the Bible Belt, there are literally MILLIONS of people like that. This is not some sort of satire.

I always say they're like trekkies on acid.
>> No. 21568 Anonymous
1st March 2020
Sunday 4:51 pm
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>>21564
I dunno, he seems to have turned out pretty normal.
>> No. 22196 Anonymous
15th March 2020
Sunday 12:13 pm
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>>21558
That is very uncomfortable watching.
>> No. 24568 Anonymous
3rd May 2020
Sunday 10:17 am
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Shite local news; lockdown special.
>> No. 24569 Anonymous
3rd May 2020
Sunday 11:28 am
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>>24568
It's bizarre how people will nick anything that isn't nailed down. Kleptos or something.
>> No. 24570 Anonymous
3rd May 2020
Sunday 1:38 pm
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>>24568

What a bizarre way to honour an NHS worker.
>> No. 24575 Anonymous
3rd May 2020
Sunday 1:59 pm
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>>24570
It's some artist circle jerking about how they value the current flavour of the week. It's clearly not a community project and the cunt probably got more of the attention they were seeking by having their mate steal it than they would have for the GCSE level art project.
>> No. 24587 Anonymous
3rd May 2020
Sunday 11:14 pm
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>>24575

>GCSE level art project

I vaguely remember us doing human heads with wire and paper mache in art class in school, around year 10 or something. Absolutely dreadful. Mine sort of looked like Boy George on a bad acid trip.
>> No. 24737 Anonymous
9th May 2020
Saturday 8:32 am
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>A bull with an itchy bottom knocked a transformer off an electricity pole as he tried to scratch his backside - and cut power to 800 homes.

>Four-year-old Ron managed to avoid the box as it landed in his field, and escaped an 11,000 volt shock from the tumbling cables. But it left homes in three nearby villages in South Lanarkshire without electricity.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-52591605
>> No. 24835 Anonymous
12th May 2020
Tuesday 7:09 pm
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>> No. 24837 Anonymous
13th May 2020
Wednesday 11:43 am
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>>24835

I guess that's an excuse as good as any to spend time in your shed at the moment.
>> No. 25005 Anonymous
20th May 2020
Wednesday 7:11 pm
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A couple of highlights from the Hull Daily Mail.

>"There have been plastic bags with not just dog waste - it is human waste. It is too big for a dog. It's horrendous."

https://www.hulldailymail.co.uk/news/hull-east-yorkshire-news/lockdown-visitors-human-waste-paull-4145379

>A man who forced a parking ticket into a wardens' mouth and made him eat it after he was given a fine has been jailed.

>In a bizarre set of crimes that took place over two months, Alex Owers, 40, of Kingston Road in Willerby, also drove to a petrol station, licked a protective screen separating him from cashiers, downed a miniature bottle of wine and coughed in a police officer's face.

>On March 29, during the coronavirus lockdown, Owers made his way to a petrol station on Kingston Road in Willerby after he had been drinking. Miss Evans told the court that despite being told several times by staff members that he would not be served after pressing his face against a protective plastic screen, Owers continued to do so and even licked it.

>The prosecutor told the court: "He told them to 'f*** off' and that there were no signs not to touch, but they pointed them out. He started eating a sandwich and drank a bottle of miniature wine. When he was arrested he agreed to pay for those items."

https://www.hulldailymail.co.uk/news/hull-east-yorkshire-news/dad-parking-ticket-warden-eat-4142989
>> No. 25038 Anonymous
22nd May 2020
Friday 2:06 am
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>>25005
Spooky goings on in the capital. What could it mean?!

https://www.hulldailymail.co.uk/news/hull-east-yorkshire-news/mystery-hull-residents-piercing-sound-4154120

>A number of Hull residents living three miles apart were kept awake by a mysterious "piercing, high-pitched noise" between 1am and 2.30am on Thursday morning.

>A spokesman from Energy Works said they were investigating to see if the noise was related to their plant in Cleveland Street, but the source of the sound remains unclear.
>> No. 25264 Anonymous
2nd June 2020
Tuesday 2:52 pm
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Live as 'absolutely buzzing' McDonald's fans flock to reopened East Yorkshire drive-thrus

https://www.hulldailymail.co.uk/whats-on/food-drink/live-mcdonalds-reopened-drive-thrus-4184026

Imagine growing up wanting to be a journalist and this being the reality.
>> No. 25265 Anonymous
2nd June 2020
Tuesday 2:53 pm
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>>25264
Laughed at the 'absolutely buzzing' quote.
That said what is the point of opening McDonald's? Who wants anything other than breakfast which they're not serving. Don't care for McDonald's but do love a sausage and egg mcmuffin.
>> No. 25266 Anonymous
2nd June 2020
Tuesday 3:01 pm
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>>25265
Look at the lads in the picture. A McDonald's meal is a welcome change from the turkey dinosaurs with potato smiles served up on a regular basis by their respective mothers.
>> No. 25267 Anonymous
2nd June 2020
Tuesday 3:10 pm
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>>25265

>That said what is the point of opening McDonald's? Who wants anything other than breakfast

You're right. McDonald's daytime menu is notoriously unpopular.
>> No. 25268 Anonymous
2nd June 2020
Tuesday 4:10 pm
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Absolutely
>> No. 25269 Anonymous
2nd June 2020
Tuesday 4:10 pm
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Buzzin'
>> No. 25270 Anonymous
2nd June 2020
Tuesday 4:36 pm
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>>25267
It's a rhetorical question and obviously is used to convey the fact that I personally strongly dislike it, but I suspect you knew that already.
>> No. 25272 Anonymous
2nd June 2020
Tuesday 11:07 pm
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Look at this in Scotland. "I've been waiting here 15 minutes already". This bloke could have gone to the shops and bought everything he needed to make his own kickass burger and cooked it himself. "Fast" food eh.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-scotland-52899832/massive-queues-as-mcdonald-s-reopens-scottish-drive-thru-restaurants
>> No. 25273 Anonymous
2nd June 2020
Tuesday 11:15 pm
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>>25272

I've quite enjoyed reinterpreting the McDonalds breafast menu myself, with proper muffins, nice cheese and an egg that hasn't spent 30 minutes baking in a holding tray.

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