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>> No. 11210 Anonymous
6th February 2015
Friday 9:36 pm
11210 Tofu
I've picked up a block of tofu but I have no idea what I'm meant to do with it to make it taste nice. It's just sitting in my fridge in it's packet of liquid for now. I gather I'm meant to put it between two chopping blocks with something heavy on the top to dry/firm it, but then I'll be left with what looks like a cross between Wensleydale and Styrofoam.
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>> No. 11211 Anonymous
6th February 2015
Friday 9:42 pm
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>>11210
Are you the same guy who posted that /e/ thread about games you're playing now?

What's with people not checking through existing threads?

http://britfa.gs/nom/res/9544.html#9579

http://britfa.gs/nom/res/9544.html#11067

http://britfa.gs/nom/res/9544.html#9671

There's plenty more in that thread.

Failing that, put it in a blender with some strawberries and milk, you have yourself a smoothie.
>> No. 11212 Anonymous
6th February 2015
Friday 9:58 pm
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>>11211
I'm on about making the tofu itself taste nice, marinades and so on, not meals to cook where tofu is one of the ingredients (of which only one of the ones you've linked probably counts - >>11067 even says tofu doesn't add enough flavour to justify including it).

Besides, mods have deleted posts in the past from that thread where people have requested recipes and it'd be ridiculous to say we can't have threads about a particular meal/ingredient just because someone has posted a recipe about it in the sticky - we'd end up with no new threads on this board unless someone decided we needed another new beer thread.
>> No. 11213 Anonymous
6th February 2015
Friday 10:59 pm
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Add some meat to it. That's your only hope.
>> No. 11214 Anonymous
6th February 2015
Friday 11:02 pm
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>>11212
No, two of those mention tofu as an ingredient. The last link doesn't and is very much meat and cheese containing, so I'm not sure how it snuck in.

For reference, a recipe involves instructions on how to put foods together to make them taste good. Those are recipes involving tofu, therefore, following said recipes will tell you how to make tofu taste good. I don't understand quite why you're struggling with this.

Anyway, vegan hat on and cuntybaw hat off, tofu is generally made flavoursome by whacking it in with other things during the cooking process, or marinating it. There are two types of tofu available from your local Chinky supermarket, silken or soft type, and firm tofu. Don't bother with silken yet, you're not ready. You'll mostly want to use firm tofu. To prepare it for cooking, do the following:

- remove block from its pack and water, draining well
- cut into slices or cuboids of your desired shape (fuck it, make it triangles if you like)
- place tofu between two large chopping boards or trays lined on both sides with two clean tea towels and/or a good thick layer of paper towel. These materials absorb the water to make the tofu firmer and less likely to fall apart when you cook it.
- pop a few cans of tinned food or heavy books (mine and my partner's theses work nicely for seeing all our years of study reduced to a cooking implement) on the top chopping board or tray, evenly distributing the weight
- leave for 6-8 hours to press the excess water out of the tofu. Coming back every 2-3 and changing the inner layer of paper towel is a good idea.

Then, you want to marinate or cook the tofu chunks as part of a stir fry or stew to make them nice and flavoured. A simple marinade suitable for Chinese stir fry I usually use is:

- 2 tsps light soy sauce
- 1 inch piece fresh ginger, grated
- 1 red birdseye chilli, finely chopped
- 3 garlic cloves, finely chopped
- 1 dash rice wine vinegar
- good sprinkle of Thai or Chinese 5- or 7-spice

I sometimes thin it with stock or hot water (but not too much) if necessary, and leave the chunks in a sealed tupperware in the fridge marinating for 6-8 hours. The longer you leave it, the stronger the flavour will be. Generally me or my partner will press the tofu the night before, then mix up a marinade and leave it in the fridge the morning before we go to work, then chuck everything in to a stir fry when we get home. 15 minute dinner, done. Another marinade that's even simpler is miso broth, if you prefer Japanese flavours.

An excellent lazy way to cook tofu is scrambling it - I first experienced this at the Alley Cafe in Nottingham, and they won't tell me their recipe because they're trying to run a business, but this is my best effort at approximating it thus far.

Scrambled Tofu

Ingredients
1 block (~450g) firm tofu, drained
1 onion, diced OR 2 shallots (I recommend shallots), finely chopped
1 tbsp light soy sauce
1/2 tsp turmeric
3 tbsp nutritional yeast (optional - REALLY optional. I don't like the nutty flavour of nutritional yeast, but the fella does because he's a fanny, it's also a pain to get ahold of so feel free to leave it out)
1 clove garlic, finely minced (optional)
1 tbsp olive oil
salt and pepper
OPTIONAL:
1 tsp curry powder, the bright orange kind
pre-cooked chunks of potato
finely sliced mushrooms (this is my fvaourite)
any other veggies you want to toss in, finely chopped fresh cherry tomatoes are nice

Method

1. Heat oil in a frying pan over a medium heat. Saute onions until soft and translucent.
2. Using your hands, crumble the tofu into the pan and sprinkle in the turmeric (and curry powder, if using). (At this point the tofu might give up a lot of water. If so, whack up the heat and let the water boil off. This is key to not ending up with a soggy mess.)
3. Cook for a few minutes, breaking apart and mixing up the tofu into chunks as fine or thick as you like with your wooden spatula/spoon.
4. Add the soy sauce. At this point add any extra veggies you might want to toss in; cook until done.
5. Season to taste with plenty of freshly ground black pepper and sea salt. You can also add a pinch of green herbs if you like, but this takes the taste further away from scramble imo.

There you go, hopefully all that information should get you started with tofu. It's an incredibly versatile ingredient, and if you're not an ethical fanny like me and have no qualms about eating meat, I also hear it's very good for bulking up mince-containing recipes etc. and/or upping your protein intake in smoothies and such. Have fun.
>> No. 11215 Anonymous
7th February 2015
Saturday 12:09 am
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>>11210
Glad to hear you bought something shite to feel superior and upper-middle class. I'd return it and buy kebab with the money. Don't be stupid, lad.
>> No. 11216 Anonymous
7th February 2015
Saturday 12:14 am
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>>11215
Fuck you judgemental prick, how do you know the reasons behind his purchase. We should be encouraging people to be adventurous in their cooking.
>> No. 11218 Anonymous
7th February 2015
Saturday 12:30 am
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The pre-prepared stuff is a LOT less faffing about.
>> No. 11219 Anonymous
7th February 2015
Saturday 12:33 am
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>>11210

This is what I've been doing with it and I haven't been using it for long so I'm still refining this.

Put it on a plate.
Put another plate on top.
Put my pressure cooker on top.
Leave it at least half an hour.
Cut it into cuboids about half the length of chips.
Marinate it in a "marinade" made from marmite, gravy and chilli sauce.
Preferably leave that at least half an hour.
Stir fry it briefly then throw it into my air fryer for 15 minutes.
>> No. 11220 Anonymous
7th February 2015
Saturday 12:36 am
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>>11216
Buying tofu isn't being adventurous. People who are up themselves buy that bland shit.

Calm down.
>> No. 11221 Anonymous
7th February 2015
Saturday 12:38 am
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>>11219

https://www.youtube.com/v/DYdBGc-xSSg

I got The Vegan Soulfood Guide To The Galaxy and it has a video DVD included called "Pimp My Tofu" and she just hand-presses it between her hands.

She's the wife of one half of Dead Prez and that's him on the theme song.
>> No. 11222 Anonymous
7th February 2015
Saturday 2:13 am
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>>11221
I need this, whatever it is. Ta for bringing it to my attention.
>> No. 11223 Anonymous
7th February 2015
Saturday 9:27 am
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Cut it into blocks then lay it out on a kitchen towel, put another towel on top of it, put the chopping board on top of that with three or four tins of whatever to weigh it down. Leave it 3-5 hours. Then fry it with something that has minimal flavourings because it will absorb anything you put with it like mad, it's so easy to overdo it.
>> No. 11224 Anonymous
7th February 2015
Saturday 10:09 am
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>>11214
>I don't understand quite why you're struggling with this.

There's nothing I don't get, it just seems bizarre to me that you're acting like Postmaster General and saying we shouldn't have a thread dedicated to a particular foodstuff because it's mentioned in the sticky a few times - the very last thread we had on this board about cooking suggestions was this curry thread from, half a year ago, August >>10896 which, by your logic, we shouldn't have had if there's curry recipes in the sticky and instead we should have no new threads on this board and everyone should just post in the sticky.

Anyway, enough of being an arse, thanks for the suggestions.
>> No. 11225 Anonymous
7th February 2015
Saturday 3:31 pm
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>>11224
I am not that person. You seem to be really good at missing the "Anonymous" bit on every post. Silly soy bean.

Anyway, you're welcome. Get crackin' in the kitchen, lad.

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