Heartache aubergine cake from Harry Eastwood's "Red Velvet Chocolate Heartache: The ultimate feel-good book of natural cakes that taste naughty".

The book replaces fats, like oil and butter, with vegetables and also tries to avoid the use of wheat flour. I'm not a brilliant baker but this recipe is a piece of piss and I've had compliments when I've made this along the lines of it being the type of pudding you'd get at a quality restaurant, albeit I didn't add the brandy. It's very rich and moist.

I've appended my britfa.gs cookbook to this JPG, including the ever-popular cake in a mug. Open it in a text editor and look near the end.

Serves 2 hungry people or 3 probably it depends.

About half a clove of garlic
Cup of oil
Enough oil to deep fry in
0.65kg boneless pork
Four dried large chillies (I used 2 Bhut Jolokia and 2 Scotch Bonnets, the Jolokia are important for the smoked flavour)
Salt
2 Egg whites
A juiced lemon or 1/4 cup of lemon juice
Vegetables and pasta for two or three.

Garlic sauce:
Crush all the garlic and put it in a blender with a pinch of salt.
Turn on the blender and start adding the lemon juice and cup of oil, slowly. Then add the egg whites. If you do it "right" you should get something the consistency of mayonnaise, if not you get a liquid; either are fine.

Pestle and mortar the chillies as though you're trying to make them into a powder but gave up when it was powdery flakes because you're lazy. You don't really want a powder, but then you don't want flakes either. Powder turns into mud, flakes fall off. Somewhere between the two. Like rough ground pepper. Put it in a wide bowl.

Cut the pork into chip shapes. I mean chips from the chippy, not MacDonalds. Then bab the chips with a towel or something to get rid of excess liquid.
Start heating up the rest of the oil in a frying pan, you want it to be about 190oc or whatever.
Put them in the bowl with the ground chilli and knead it until there's an even covering of chilli over the meat.
When the oil is hot enough, put the meat in for two and a half minutes. I did it in two batches, so half the meat then half the meat. Carefully take the meat out of the oil with your fingers and put it into a dish with some kitchen roll or a shitty towel to soak up the oil. Check it's cooked through by cutting the larger ones open, if it's still red inside put them back for another 30 seconds or so.

You should have timed the pasta and veg to be ready at the same time, or preprepared them and kept them warm. Serve like that.
If you did the garlic sauce "right", you can use it as a dip for the meat, if not you can just sprinkle it over your meals like a sauce. I did it wrong and it was good, it flavoured the pasta too, nicely.

>>9578
Oh and last week:

Ingredients:
Thing of tofu
Butter
Most of a garlic
Enough noodles
Dry Chillies
Spinach maybe 200g per person. Lots, anyway.
Half a chicken stock each unless one of you has vegetarianism.

Recipe:
Slice and press dry the tofu for 4 maybe 5 hours.
Put all the chillies, the spinach and six or eight garlic into a blender. Blend until not quite a paste but still a bit mushy. Mulch. Put it aside.
Melt some butter in frying pan. Add at least two crushed garlic, fry until brown.
Put the tofu in the garlic butter (still cooking) don't poke it or move it just leave it for four minutes, turn it and leave it for another four. Take it out, put it on a warm plate or something.
Bring the chicken stock to boil in a pan of water, cook noodles using instructions on packet, in the chicken water obviously.
Add more butter to the frying pan. Add the spinach mulch, boil off some of the excess liquid, fry it slightly (not too dry).
Rinse noodles then add them to the mulch, fry a bit, add the tofu if you're feeling adventurous. Serve. Add soy sauce to taste (needs a little salt).

Good accompaniment for gyoza.

Easy and Tasty Stir-fries:

Ingredients (easily found if you can find an Asian supermarket):
Oyster sauce - one that isn't too salty - 'Panda' brand (the one with the giant panda on the label) works well.
Dark soy sauce
Sesame oil
Shaoxing rice wine
Beef, chicken, turkey, or pork.
Vegetables of your choosing - spring onions, broccoli, sugarsnap peas, or mangetout work well. Sugarsnap peas and mangetout work especially well.
Chili powder (cayenne works nicely) and/or fresh chillies if you like spicy food
Rice or noodles (pretty much any noodles will do)

- Cut up your meat into thinly sliced bitesize chunks
- Cut up veggies into bitesize chunks (if necessary). If you plan on using chillies, cut them up into long thin slices
- Marinate the meat for about half an hour at room temperature in a mixture of about 4 parts oyster sauce, 3 parts rice wine, 2 parts sesame oil, 1 part soy sauce. For 300g of meat I'd say 1 part would equal 1 heaped tablespoon.
- boil rice or noodles shortly before you begin stir-frying
- Heat up a bit of oil with a high burn point (peanut is the best, sunflower or vegetable work just fine) in a wok or frying pan, stir-fry meat for about 4-5 minutes over high heat.
- Add your vegetables and chillies. At this point it would be a good idea to add 2 more tablespoons of oyster sauce, for more saucy goodness over your rice or noodles. If you have no fresh chillies or want even more heat, now would be the time to add the hot chili powder - half a teaspoon provides a nice heat. Continue stir-frying for about 2-3 minutes.
- If you're using noodles, lower the heat to minimum, and dump the (sieved) noodles into your wok/frying pan. Mix them all in for about 30 seconds and make sure they're thoroughly coated in the sauce. Turn off heat, serve.
- If you're using rice, just turn off the heat and serve your stir-fry over a bowl of the stuff.

This recipe makes a dish that rivals the stir-fry dishes I've had in Chinese restaurants, and completely outclasses the slop you get in Chinese takeaways.

Ingredients:
* Pork mince
* Pickled Sour Mustard
* Sesame Oil
* Soy Sauce
* Rice

This is a simple Chinese style dish. You'll be steaming this, so you need a large pot with a steaming stand (see image, right hand side) and around 1" of water in it as well as a ceramic bowl that fits into said pot without touching the lid or some other suitable steaming apparatus.

Rinse the mustard under running water, then mince it up quite fine. You want about half a snowball (imagine you're making a snowball with the minced leaves, half that) per 500g of pork mince[1]. Put the pork mince and the mashed leaves into a bowl and mix thoroughly, then add sesame oil to taste (2 table spoons per 500g of meat are a good starting point) and soy sauce (see [1], this is mostly to fine-adjust saltiness) and mix again. Place the resulting mixture into your steaming bowl, place it on top of the steaming stand, put the lid on start cooking on high heat. Once the water is boiling, reduce the heat to medium/low, whichever is needed on your cooker to keep the steam going.

Steam for about 20minutes for the first 500g of meat, then add another 10 minutes per additional 500g. If in doubt, overcooking this doesn't hurt too much.

The result is a tasty meat cake in a strong broth. Serve with rice (season the rice with the resulting broth for extra flavour).

A few extra pointers: the hard part in this recipe is controlling the saltiness. It's easy to overshoot it, so if in doubt leave out the soy sauce the first time you make it… you can always add some when serving. Raw minced pickled mustard makes a good side offering for any other savoury meat dish.

[1] The pickled mustard is quite salty, if you find it's too salty, soak them in water in 15 minute intervals before mincing.

Any veggies on britfa.gs?

What recipes do you like?

Here's a recipe I made up today, for spanish style chicken type thingy. Actually only looked at this thread now and it's fairly similar to >>9586.

Serves 1.

Dice chicken breast.
Chop a small onion.
Throw both into a wok with some olive oil and lightly brown.
Add a chopped tomato, and a portions worth of other vegetables, I used courgette and mushrooms, sweet peppers and other stuff would work too.
Add some chopped chilli pepper to taste.

Stir for a couple of minutes until everything is starting to cook.

Add half a small can of tomato puree and mix in. The stuff I used was double concentrated so perhaps weaker stuff would need a bit more added. (first time I've experimented with my own sauce rather than using ready made stuff)

Sprinkle a couple of tablespoons of plain flour over it, then pour over a little boiling water and mix well. Start at half a cupful, you can add more if it starts drying up as you cook.

Add herbs and spices to taste, and the obligatory generous pinch of salt. (try parsely and tyme. mixed spices are always useful too)

Simmer for ~5 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Serve with couscous or rice.

>>9592
I should add that I seem to have a bit of a natural sense of timing when it comes to cooking. When I say simmer for 5 minutes, it's already mostly cooked during the time I'm still preparing it.

Always check the chicken is cooked through, and if it doubt always leave it cooking for longer.

Grandads home made pea soup.

Serves: However big the pot is, scale up veg but not ham unless you're making it in a massive vat.

Ingredients: Pack of Bigga peas
Pot herbs - Cabbage, Carrots, Celery, Leek - Whatever else tickles your fancy but that is what my grandad uses.
1 Ham shank
1-2 Chicken stock cubes depending on size and taste

How to do it:

Soak your peas over night with the stuff that is included in them
Boil the ham shank in a pot of water for 1 hour, this is the base for your soup so use as much as you need
Take the ham shank out and cup it up into smallish sized bits, putting the bone back in the pot
Add some salt and pepper
Add the chopped up veg and simmer for about 25-30 minutes or until the carrot is nice and soft
Rinse off the peas in a colander under cold water
Add the peas and ham - this will cool the whole thing so turn the heat up
One it starts simmering cook until peas shell
Add chicken stock to taste
Voilla

>>9586
No aubergine? What is this madness!

1/3 cup extra virgin olive oil
5 large cloves garlic (55 grams), roughly chopped
2 large onions (500 grams), sliced
2 medium red bell peppers (120 grams), cored, seeded and sliced
6 medium tomatoes (700 grams), cored and cut into 8 pieces
3 medium aubergines (400 grams), cut into 1/2-inch thick rounds
3 medium courgettes (700 grams), cut into 1/2-inch thick rounds
1/4 packed cup flat leaf parsley roughly chopped
1/4 packed cup basil roughly chopped
6-8 sprigs thyme
2 teaspoons salt to taste

1. Add the olive oil and garlic to a large heavy bottomed pot, like a Le Creuset and sauté over medium heat until the garlic starts to brown and becomes very fragrant.

2. Turn down the heat to low and then add the onions and bell peppers. Cover the pot with a lid and let the onions wilt, stirring occasionally to prevent burning. Remove the lid and sauté the vegetables until all the water released has evaporated and the onions start to brown.

3. Add the tomatoes, cover the pot with the lid, and simmer until the tomatoes are soft and have released a lot of liquid.

4. Add the zucchini, courgettes, parsley, basil, thyme, salt and pepper. Stir to combine and then cover with a lid and allow the vegetables to cook until tender (30-40 minutes), stirring occasionally.

5. When the vegetables are soft, remove the lid and let the ratatouille continue to simmer until the excess liquid has evaporated and the stew is nice and thick. Adjust the salt and pepper to taste and serve with crusty bread.

>>9637

Right, OP here, finally. As Ia m actually about to start cooking I am just going to share a simple, but in the current climate, fucking gorgeous one. I don't usually bother with ingredient lists, but for once I will, and expect a rather distinct instruction style. But without this "cup" drivel.

1.5kg passata, or 4 cans cheapest chopped tomatoes - do not waste your money with fresh, you are going to boil the shit out of these
10 eggs
18 dried Habaneros red chillis (or if you are a massive bumder 10), or fresh equivalent
2 heads (the whole things) garlic
2 vegetable stock cubes (manliness not diminished for lack of meat due to chillis)
1/2 tablespoon ground pepper
Large splash of balsamic vinegar
1 tablespoon of basil or 2/3 tablespoon of oregano
Lashings of olive oil
Juice of 1 or 2 limes or lemons if you want to, try it first without


Take your biggest pan and fill with 1cm depth of olive oil. Put on low heat. Add spices and crumble in stock cubes and dried pepper/add fresh. Keep stirring occasionally whilst peeling garlic. After five minutes or so add tomatoes and vinegar and increase heat to medium. Over next half hour chop garlic finely and stir every now and then. About this point a red froth with be seen on top of sauce. Add garlic and lime/lemon. 15 minutes or so from now drop heat to low and leave for 5 minutes, before you break eggs on pan and drop into sauce - sauce a lot more impact absorbant than trying to poach in water. With two attempts you should happily not break any yolk. Leave for 5, then start carefully stirring, attempting not to break yolks, but to spread whites so they cook. Leave for 3 min and repeat, and repeat until resulting mix is mixture of spicy toms, tom/egg white mix, cooked white and yolks. Serve with bread.

You can also add spinach before the eggs and cook for a further 5/10 min for true beauty.

1 x Can of sardines (I prefer in tomato sauce)
2 x Slices of bread
1 x Spice pot of favourite spice (I prefer piri piri)
1 x Bottle of ketchup
1 x Cooker with top oven that can toast

Put sardines into a bowl with ketchup and spice and mash in to a flaky paste consistency. Whilst you're doing this toast the side of the bread you will not be placing the sardines on until toasted to the desired colour. Turn over and lightly toast the other side, remove when light golden brown and spread paste across the lightly toasted side. Place back in the cooker and leave to cook until the outside of the sardines has dried up.

1 x Pasta of your choice (I prefer shells)
1 x Onion
1 x Can of sweetcorn (as much or as little as you desire, frozen is fine too)
1 x Can of peas
1 x Block of cheese of your choice (blue cheese does not work well with this at all)
1 x Block or pack of pancetta (Asda £1.20 for 2 small boxes, has a about a month before it's best before date usually. Bacon bits are an acceptable substitute as is tofu or quorn for vegetarians)

You can 1 pot meal this if you desire, it literally is just a case of combine fucking everything and cook until desired. I prefer to cook the pasta in a separate pot and combine the meat and veg in a separate pot. Add cheese, pepper and maybe some crushed red peppers as desired and to add a different flavour add some garlic flavoured cottage cheese with the vegetables and meat.

>>9670
I eat sardines pretty regularly. This is what I do:

1 tin sardines in brine
Juice of half a lemon (yes, that seems like a lot of lemon juice, but trust me)
Dollop of mayo

Drain the brine, mix all the rest up in a bowl, and then spread it on toast. Done.

>>9656
I tried this out the other day. I added new potatoes (straight out of the garden), a small amount of finely sliced mushrooms, and a generous shake of cumin. It was a bit thick; I cooked it a bit longer and harder than I intended to. It was pretty good. I think I'd add chickpeas next time as the sauce itself isn't quite enough for me even with the addition of potatoes and mushrooms. I also didn't have any lemons/limes to hand, which was a shame as I reckon that'd be a great addition (I do have some of that Jiff-style lemon juice but every time I cook with that it ends up adding a weird background flavour that I dislike).

I think it'd be good served with couscous, too. Thanks for the recipe, anyway.

1. Slice five cloves of garlic as thinly as possible, then cook at 100 for about three hours - you want to be able to grind it to a powder with a pestle and mortar. Or use garlic powder.
2. Slice tofu into pieces, about 1" long, 1cm long, 1cm wide. Put them on a flat surface, between four kitchen towels with a flat chopping board on top of them. Three cans, such as baked bean cans equally spaced on top. Leave for three to five hours.
3. Cook half a portion of noodles per person with a teaspoon of sugar and a pinch of salt. This recipe is for four people, so two portions of noodles. Drain, rinse with cold water.
4. Melt one inch squared of butter in fryingpan. Add five fresh crushed cloves of garlic. As soon as it starts to brown, add the noodles and fry on a low heat. By the time we use them again, you want them to be browning.
5. I had four very large okra, cut in half and hollowed out. The seeds were added to the noodles to cook, the outer flesh boiled for 20 minutes.
6. Slice some green olives as small as you can be bothered, then fill the okra halves with them. Put them into a pre-heated oven at 210 degrees, for 15 minutes.
7. Dunk the tofu in olive oil, shake off excess.
8. you should have pre-prepared half a bag of cornflour mixed thoroughly with about three teaspoons of salt*, same of pepper, two finely ground chillies and also the sliced, dried and ground up garlic from step 1. Anyway, roll the oily tofu in these and set them aside.
9. By this time you should also have some oil hot enough to deep fry in. Fry the tofu in this, a handful at a time. One minute thirty seconds maximum for each lot, and let the oil heat up again before adding the next lot.
10. Stop frying the tofu because it's been 15 minutes, you need to take the okra out of the oven. Move the okra to a different dish thing, and make a bed of the fried noodles where the okra were, then put the okra back on top. Continue to grill that at 210 degrees for another five minutes, while you finish deep-frying the tofu. Put some kitchen towel on the dish you're putting the tofu on, it'll soak up excess oil.

Split into portions as required. Serve as aesthetically as possible

I tried to also batter and deep-fry some picked jalapenos, the vinegar was a great antidote to the salt and oil, but it kept making loud popping noises and spraying hot oil across the room so I don't recommend it, and the batter didn't even stick. I do suggest you have something sharp with the meal but don't use the same method to batter the pickled jalapenos as you did the tofu.

This is probably the best tofu texture I've achieved yet; a crunchy outer shell and a satisfying bite to the centre.

*I didn't measure the salt, just add it until it's just not quite enough to taste when you dip your finger in. When you can taste it, that's too much. Still edible though.

Baked hare with sweet sauce

One whole hare
Two diced onions
one diced apple
a small jar of apple sauce
a small packet of raisins (about 5 oz)
one cup of sweet red wine
one finely chopped garlic clove
vegetable stock
salt, pepper
vegetable oil
a bit of sauce flour

Fry the onions together with the apples until the onions are brown. Then pour hot vegetable stock over them and let everything cook just about soft, but make sure the apple pieces don't dissolve.

Make a thick sauce from the fried onions and apples, the apple sauce, the red wine, some more vegetable stock and the raisins and some salt as well as about a tablespoon of vegetable oil.

Rub the garlic and some salt and just a slight hint of pepper onto the hare, then pour a little bit of the sauce you have just made over the hare, and rub in gently. Leave in a temperate dry place for a few hours.

Then, put the hare in a roast casserole with a lid, pour the rest of your sauce over it, and put everything in the oven at medium heat for about an hour. Baste repeatedly.

When the hare is done, make sure your sauce isn't too runny, and add some sauce flour as needed.

Serve with mashed potato and hearty vegetables such as carrots or green beans.

Mediterranean Chicken

Per serving:

- one large chicken breast
- one tomato, sun dried or fresh
- a bit of red bell pepper
- one midsized onion
- one shallot

- salt
- paprika
- garlic
- sugar
- olive oil
- butter
- Philadelphia cream cheese
- herbs (rosemary, thyme, sage, oregano etc.)
- fried chicken seasoning
- chicken stock
- triple concentrated tomato paste
- dry Italian white wine
- two green olives and two black olives, sliced


Marinade your chicken breast in a mixture of fried chicken seasoning, herbs and white wine. Let sit for two to three hours, turn over repeatedly.

Then, caramelise the sliced onions, shallots and red bell pepper in a frying pan together with just a little bit of olive oil, butter, salt, sugar, white wine, herbs and chicken stock. Leave to simmer under a lid for at least half an hour, gently stirring repeatedly and adding a bit of water now and then to keep everything from drying out.

Then, turn up the heat and add the chicken breast to the pan and sear briefly on both sides. Add some more chicken stock and the olives, and leave to simmer again under a lid at low heat. A few minutes before the chicken breast is done, add the diced tomato and once again leave to simmer gently for a bit so that the tomato bits are cooked but don't fall apart yet.

Finally, remove the chicken breast from the pan and add more chicken stock, a teaspoon of Philadelphia cheese, and a good deal of the tomato paste. Stir to achieve a "saucy" consistency, put the chicken breast back in the pan and just leave at the side of your stove for a few minutes.

Serve with rice and hearty vegetables, such as carrots or beans.

Main ingredients: half a kg of diced beef, a tin of red kidney beans in water. Bit of red wine.

Drain and mash the kidney beans. Put them to one side.
Fry the beef with butter and crushed garlic in a big pan, just so it goes brown on the outside. Little bits of red still showing don't matter. Salt and pepper the beef then put it aside to rest, leaving as much of the juices and garlic in the pan as possible. I had fried them in unsalted butter so used more salt, if you use salted butter you might not want to salt it at all.
You may want to add a little more garlic and butter to the pan at this point, depending on how much is left over. Pour half, maybe 2/3 of a cup of red wine in there too, with half a beef stock/oxo cube. Stir that all in then when the liquid starts to simmer, add the kidney bean mash too. Stir that until it's nearly homogeneous then re-add the beef. You want most of the liquid to evaporate so the gunk isn't too runny, but you don't want to make the beef too chewy so leave it on the heat for as long as your intuition tells you to, stirring constantly to mix all the flavours.
Serve in tortillas. Feeds 2-4, goes well with the remainder of the bottle of wine.

Inverse cheese on toast. The recipe is from a YouTube video, but I lost the link

Ingredients:
Knob of butter
Some grated cheddar
Two slices of bread

Preparation:
Melt the butter in a frying pan on low to medium heat. Add in the first slice of bread, then spread most of the shredded cheese on top of it being careful not to spill any into the pan. Put the other slice on top.

Gently fry the bottom slice until browned, then carefully flip the sandwich. Immediately sprinkle a sparse amount of cheese onto the still hot flipped slice of bread. Then continue to brown the other slice. Flip over so the added cheese hardens and sprinkle cheese onto the now revealed side. A minute or two later, flip over again to crisp up the other side.

Result: Melted cheese in the middle, crispy cheese fried bread on the outside.

Pack of Rolos
Hot chips

Put a Rolo in your mouth, chew it and swish it around so it coats the inside of your mouth. Then eat some chips and savor the Rolo juice as it melts into the chips.

You'll need:
-Pack of minced beef
-Peas and onions
-Beer or ale (stronger the better)
-Jam (raspberry or blackcurrant are the best)
-Porridge oats
-stock cubes (pref beef ones)
-gravy granules (pref beef ones)
-curry powder (strong)
-Olive oil
-Bread and butter

This is what you do:
Brown off the beef in a saucepan with a little oil. Then add a splash of ale, veg, handful of oats, curry, spoonful of jam, a splash more oil, water and the stock cubes. Bring up boil and then turn down to a simmer for 30 mins. Then add the gravy granules to thicken up and serve with some bread and butter for dipping.

What you need:

-Mushrooms
-1 or 2 eggs
-Jam
-Soy sauce
-Salt and pepper
-Bread and butter
-Balsamic vinegar glaze or mustard (optional)

What you do:

-Cut up the mushrooms and put in a frying pan with some soy sauce, spoonful of jam, salt and pepper and a splash of water to start the cooking.

-Cook on a medium heat for about 10 min with the lid on most of the time. Occasionally stir so the mushrooms get coated in the liquid. Then turn the heat up high and dry the pan out.

-Turn the heat down to medium and push the mushrooms over to the side to make room for the eggs. Put some oil in the space and then the eggs.

-Put the lid back on and cook the eggs for about 5 min.

-Take out the eggs and mushrooms and put them in a sandwich with vinegar glaze or mustard if you like but not ketchup or brown sauce cos that's sick.

Put some tomato puree and grated cheese on some buttered toast for an instant pizza.

>>10476
Sort of pushing the definition of recipe there, aren't you lad.

West African Peanut Soup
As found in “Sundays at Moosewood Restaurant” .

2 cups chopped onions
1 Tbsp peanut or vegetable oil
½ tsp cayenne or other round chiles
1 tsp grated peeled fresh ginger root
1 cup chopped carrots (chop them very fine or grate if you don’t have a blender available)
2 cups chopped sweet potato
4 cups vegetable stock or water
2 cups tomato juice
1 cup smooth peanut butter
1 cup chopped scallions or chives (These are an integral part of the soup, not a garnish.)

Sauté the onions in the oil until just translucent. Stir in the cayenne and fresh ginger. Add the carrots and sauté a couple more minutes. Mix in the potatoes and stock or water, bring the soup to a boil and then simmer for 15 minutes, until the vegetables are tender.

Using a blender, purèe the vegetables with the cooking liquid and the tomato juice. (If a blender is not available, a vigorous and thorough mashing may substitute). Return the purèe to the soup pot. Stir in the peanut butter until smooth. Taste the soup, its sweetness will depend on the sweetness of the carrots and sweet potatoes. If it’s not there add just a little sugar to enhance the other flavors. Feel free to refrigerate this base for up to a week.

Reheat the soup gently, being sure to prevent scorching. If necessary, you can add more water, stock or tomato juice for a thinner soup. Serve topped with plenty of scallions or chives.

- Grind 2 tablespoons of chopped garlic with a tablespoon of chopped coriander and half a teaspoon of black pepper.
- chop around 250g of wild mushrooms (I recommend porcini) and do the same with around half that in tofu.
- Fry the garlic, etc before adding the mushrooms. Once the juices have boiled away add the tofu, a pinch of salt and a smattering of soy sauce (some Marmite too if you're feeling fruity), a tablespoon of brown/palm sugar and a couple of minced shallots until it's looking mixed together and nicely done.
- Leave it to cool and then store it in the fridge until you need it.

- Go to Tesco* and buy 375g of 'wholefood soya mince', which presently costs £1.89.
- Add 3 parts of boiling water (plus stock/seasoning) to 1 part soya mince.
- Stir and leave it to stand for 5 minutes.
- Drain.

375g of unprepared soya mince makes approximately 1.5kg of prepared mince, it's a lot nicer than shite like Quorn mince and a lot less faff than the 'duxelle bulked up with tofu' recipe I posted previously. I think it works best in stir frys.

* other shops are available.

>>10521
What in the fuck, which aisle will I find that in?

>>10527

"Pulses, Lentils & Beans"

>>10527
It's down the World Food aisle, usually.

I highly recommend this glamorgan sausage recipe:

http://marmadukescarlet.blogspot.co.uk/2011/03/glamorgan-sausages.html?m=1

However, I think it works better in balls/patties than in sausages; the picture is my last go at it, in the fridge before grilling, with spring onion and nutmeg. I think I'm going to experiment with different cheeses and mushrooms. It tastes a lot nicer than it looks.

I made a cheese sauce to go on my noodles. The sauce was some milk brought to simmering with a small handful of salt, pepper and a crushed clove of garlic, then bavarian smoked cheese stirred in until it melted. Into that I added some streaky bacon I had cooked previously and cut into pieces about 2cmx2cm, as well as a large flat mushroom (diced) which had cooked with the bacon, the bacon fat resting on top of the mushroom as it cooked so it melted in.

>>10590
Looks more like faggots.

>I made a cheese sauce to go on my noodles. The sauce was some milk brought to simmering with a small handful of salt, pepper and a crushed clove of garlic, then bavarian smoked cheese stirred in until it melted.
Learn how to make a roux.

>>10628
I was quite happy with the result. I was just using up leftovers.

Best pizza sauce. Ever.

1kg chicken wings
Flour
Salt, pepper, paprika
Oil
Celery
Stilton
Garlic
Sour Cream
Mayonnaise
Sriracha sauce
Butter
White wine vinegar
Home made chilli sauce if you have it (I make mine using chilli, garlic, ginger, sugar, salt and white wine vinegar)


Chop up the wings at the joints discarding the tips (or retaining to make stock)
Coat liberally in oil
Shake in a bag with flour, paprika, salt and pepper so they have a coating
Roast in oven at 220 for 40 mins, turning half way through

Whilst they cook chop up celery into 3 inch sticks and place in bowl

Make a blue cheese sauce using equal amounts of mayonnaise and sour cream, add a small clove of garlic and blend using a stick blender. Add stilton to taste, blending after each addition ( I use about 125-150g). Tried with danish blue once but it was nowhere near as nice

Make chilli sauce using sriracha, butter and a generous splash of wine vinegar. Heat until butter melts and sauce mixes completely. This is again done to taste, you can add more vinegar but you can't take it out. You can also add in your own chilli sauce if you make such things and want to pep it up a bit... you could add some very finely chopped fresh chilli as an alternative.

When the wings are done they should have a crispy coating to them, toss the wings in the chilli sauce and you end up with a sticky buttery tangy chilli coating on them which balances with the celery dipped in the blue cheese sauce.

I did a thing where I seared some beef strips (500g? Not sure, something like that.) in unsalted butter with a very light drizzle of red wine* and a teaspoon of ground pepper, then put them aside. Using the same saucepan (so there was still beef dripping in it) and a tad more butter, then add some ground pepper I fried some sliced courgettes (three small ones) for 2 minutes then added a small amount of [Oxo cube in half a pint of boiling water plus the liquid from the raw beef, the rest of the red wine and a little milk** a little less than a pint of liquid total], let that boil off, kept stirring and adding more liquid until the slices were done enough to slide off a fork easily despite being stabbed, then add some ground pepper. Put the courgettes in the same wide dish as the seared beef strips, then add some ground pepper. Your oven should be hot by now too, mine has a setting called "High grill, wide area", not really sure what that means but go for the equivalent, your guess is as good as mine. Put the remaining stock-liquid into the frying pan and bring to the boil, then add some ground pepper. Use a spatula to make sure nothing sticks to the bottom, stir it every now and then. Mix up the beef and courgettes in the wide baking dish thing, then pour the boiled liquid over them, making sure to get everything out of the pan, then sprinkle with some salt and ground pepper. If you have any of that herb that looks like this (image related) chuck some of that in there too. Put this into your oven for five minutes to begin with (any beef or veg that's protruding from the liquid should be going brown) then stir so there's no darkened bits visible. I made enough for about three people, so when that first five minutes is up, now's the time to make enough pasta or spaghetti for three people. Pasta takes about ten minutes, right? So at both five minute interludes, stir the stuff that's in the oven, it should be in there for 15 minutes total if you're keeping up with my maths. You want a nice mixture of stuff that's caramelised and not, without any carbonising. Take it all out, strain the pasta, put it on a hot plate, put the other shit on top of it with plenty of the liquid. Eat it with your mouth, or don't if you'd rather not but I do recommend this last step. Some Parmesan was an interesting addition but not all that important.

*Apparently you should use a "dry red wine", if that means anything to you. I used about a third of a bottle of something I found in the cupboard that said Beaujolais on the label. I'm not certain it was actually Beaujolais or if that matters but a third of a bottle is probably the right quantity.
**Or cream if you have any and want a creamier sauce, I didn't have any.


This wasn't my personal favourite meal, not enough garlic, salt or chilli for my tastes but it did seem to be greatly appreciated by everyone else. If I were to make this meal again, I'd probably paint the courgette with a little melted butter (or olive oil if you want, if which case you should replace all the butter with olive oil so the flavours don't clash - but then there's the issue of the olive oil clashing with the fat from the milk or cream. If I had time and ingredients to experiment with I'd try with and without any dairy, just to see what works) then grill it while preparing the sauce and beef, rather than frying it in the sauce, just to give it a bit more texture and flavour variety. Ideally there'd be some way to flavour the courgette with the sauce and then grill it like that, and then add it to the mixture.

>>10922
I forgot, there was some Lea & Perrins in the stock liquid too. Just a shaking, not a lot.

Moroccan Sweet Potato Bake

Utensils required: Wooden spoon, casserole dish, wok or deep frying pan, measuring jug, oven and stove.

Ingredients: Sweet potato, capsicum, red onion, tomato, chick pea, goats cheese, spinach leaves, vegetable stock, Ras al Hanout*.
_{* Ras Al Hanout is a varying blend of spices. The 'blend' I've been using is tubbed from Sainsbury's. I'm not sure what other blends will taste like in this recipe.}

1. Casserole dish - bake
Peel and chop sweet potato in 1 inch cubes. Slice capsicum into lengths, discarding the seed. Quarter a red onion. Throw all but half onion in casserole dish and drizzle with oil. Oven for around 40 minutes to an hour up to 200 C.

2. Wok/pan - sauce
Stock in measuring jug with boiling water, 1 pint is a good starting point for small portions. Quarter tomatoes into jug. Brown onions in wok/pan with a drizzle of oil. add jug contents to wok/pan. Allow to cook for a while, 5 minutes or so. Teaspoon or two of Ras Al Hanout to taste. Chickpeas when the liquid has thickened.

3. final stage
Pour sauce into casserole dish, mix and return to oven.
check occasionally and stir. When soft and sauce is mostly absorbed, stir in spinach leaves and lump on goats cheese. return to oven for a further 15 minutes or so.

Remove from oven and allow to cool. Eat.

Misc
I don't like listing weights or amounts, so just use however much you think appropriate. Sweet potato is the main ingredient so scale everything from that. Tinned chopped tomatoes can be substitute for fresh. Extra spices with Ras Al hanout if desired.

Maybe I'll add pictures later, maybe not.

Chipotle Toast

Ingredients:
Decent wholegrain bread
Your spread of choice/butter
Chipotle sauce

1. Toast bread.
2. Apply spread.
3. Apply firey hot chipotle sauce.

Don't question it just try it.

>>10950
As much as I appreciate your bare-bones instructions, aspects like whether the casserole dish goes into the oven with the lid on or off need to be included as it changes the way the veg cook. You should also indicate whether you rinse the chickpeas when canned or not - recipes often vary in whether canned chickpeas are added with their water or not.

Either way I've got a vegan version of this in the oven right now and I'll report back with whether it's any good.

>>10995
Post recipe if it is.

>>10996
It was.

Variations made to original recipe:

- used cannellini beans instead of chickpeas
- no spinach and no goat's cheese
- put a bit of thickener and garlic in the sauce
- whacked some TVP chunks in the sauce
- a hint of smoked paprika in the Ras el Hanout

10/10, good recipe, very easy even when I started drinking at 5pm and was very stoned. Pleased my meat-eating mates which is always a good sign for a vegan dish.

For the interested, I didn't have Ras el Hanout in my cupboard, so made my own blend to the following proportions:

Ras el Hanout

2 part coriander seeds
1.5 part cumin seeds
0.5 part cardamom seeds
0.5 part fennel seeds
0.5 part black peppercorns
0.5 part allspice
1 part ground turmeric
1 part ground cinnamon
0.5 part paprika

>>10995
The casserole dish is uncovered and chickpeas drained. Your comments are noted; I will be more considerate in future posts I make.
I'm glad you enjoyed the altered recipe.

Any tips on how to jazz up my crude egg foo yung, i.e. omelette with soy sauce?

- Fry some mushrooms
- Grate a carrot, add some crushed garlic and grated ginger. Chuck them in.
- Chop 3/4 spring onions, salt them and then Chuck them in.
- Beat four eggs, add two tablespoons of soy sauce.
- After the food has fried for a little while (but not long enough to be properly cooked) take them out and tip them into the egg/soy sauce mix. Let them stew for a bit.
- Chuck it into a hot pan, turning regularly once it has started to solidify.
- Beat two more eggs and chuck them in for good measure.
- Salt to taste.
- Eat.

>>11004

Add some oyster sauce and sesame oil to the egg mix.

>>11003
Interestingly, I roasted the veg separately for the first stage as my casserole isn't wide enough to allow good transpiration, added the beans with their water (which I believe helped the sauce thicken beautifully) and only lidded the casserole when returning the veg with the sauce for the last 15 minutes cooking.

It still turned out great, so between us we've developed an incredibly flexible recipe. n1 m8.

Here's what I did tonight, anyway.

Mix some salt and pepper, tumeric, cayenne pepper, crushed garlic, ginger and about two thirds of a tin of coconut milk or yoghurt. Mix well, this is the marinade.

Take the skin off of a roast chicken and put it in a pan or something. Baste the chicken in the marinade and wrap it in foil to keep it all on the surface of the chicken. Preferably leave it in the fridge overnight.

Once the marinade is done make an onion/spice mix, fry an onion, salt, pepper, tumeric, cumin, coriander, cinnamon, cayenne pepper, garlic, ginger, a few crushed cardomon pods and some lemon juice. Dump this over the chicken and then put it in the oven for however long it takes.

To go with this put some oil in a pan with a lid and fry some chopped cabbage, along with salt and a little bit of sugar, as well as cumin, turmeric and mustard seeds. Put the lid on and let it cook for about 10 minutes. Might want to add a little bit of water. Keep shaking.

Serve with rice.

>>10521
What else can I have the mince with, besides stir fry?

>>11009
I'd pile it on top of some fragrant couscous, or brown rice pilaf.

I am not the poster of that recipe.

I feel so middle class describing couscous as "fragrant" - all it really means is whack some spices (cumin and coriander are sturdy go-tos) in there instead of having it plain.

My copy of Veganomicon arrived a few weeks ago, I'd be willing to type up/photograph a lot of the good recipes out of there with my edits if others would be willing to see it. I made a super spicy kedgeree from it the other day for dinner, it was very filling.

>>11010
Please do.

>>11010

Seconding >>11011 I would love some decent vegan recipes. I haven't ever gotten around to buying a vegan cookbook, despite cooking for several vegans.

My current MO is to replace chicken/beef/pork with various mushrooms. I know how much this upsets you vegan lot and I'm terribly sorry for it.

>>11012

It's very easy to get a bootleg.

Google

>mobilism veganomicon

>>11010

OP here. Yes.

>>11012
There's no real substitute for proper chunks of meat; you can make a passable meat-free mince but that's it. If I'm not using alternatives, like sweet potato, cashew nuts and chickpeas then I think the closest I've come to meat was when I pulsed some chickpeas and adzuki beans, mixed in some nutmeg, paprika, mustard and breadcrumbs and then smoked them.

>>11015

Warm falafels can taste quite burger-ish.

I think quorn and vegan pretend burgers can be quite convincing. It's a shame they all seem to have eggs in. The vegan burgers tasted right but had a peculiar texture which was disturbing until I got used to it. Then I'd finished the box I'd bought without skim-reading the allergy section for eggs and wouldn't get them again.

>>11015

Blaze it.

>>11016
Good call on the falafel burgers. I think Quorn do decent imitation breaded chicken with their dippers and southern style burgers, but most other burgers I've had are bland. You can get an alright sausage though, especially if you make a nice gravy for it.

>>11016

I meant vegetarian not vegan.

>>11014
Tell a lie, it wasn't even from Veganomicon, it was a bastardised version of something from Complete Vegetarian.

Super Spicy Veggie Kedgeree Serves 1-2 normal people OR 1 greedy fucker (me)

Ingredients

1 shallot/small onion, finely chopped
2-3 cloves garlic, finely chopped, or paste
50g dried red lentils
100g brown or Basmati rice
1-2 tsp super hot curry powder
half a hot chili, rehydrated for 8 hours overnight (I used a small naga hybrid), finely chopped
fresh coriander, chopped
4 cloves
4 tbsp vegetable oil/vegan cooking fat (I use Vitalite)
bay leaf

Method

1. Put the lentils in a saucepan, add the bay leaf and cover with cold water. Bring to boil, skimming off any foam, then reduce the heat. Cover and simmer for 25-30 mins until tender. Drain, then discard the bay leaf.

2. Meanwhile, cook rice according to instructions on pack - but add the cloves and a generous pinch of salt to the water. Brown rice will take longer; white basmati won't. Cook until tender. Discard the cloves.

3. Melt the oil/cooking fat in a large saucepan over a gentle heat (I use half veg oil and half Vitalite because Vitalite is rather salty). Then add the onion and garlic and sweat for 5-8 mins until softened. Add the curry powder and chopped chilli and cook, stirring, for 1 min.

4. Stir in the lentils and rice and mix well until they are coated in the spiced oil/butter. Season and cook for 1-2 minutes until cooked through and piping hot. Serve tossed with fresh coriander and quartered hard-boiled eggs on top if so inclined.

I also like to eat this with a bit of hot sauce or hot pickle on top or on the side, sometimes a mango chutney if I'm feeling fruity. This fridges well, I usually make enough to be lunch and dinner for 2 days but then I end up eating it all because I'm a sad lonely fuck who thinks eating vegan makes me cool.

Chicken Breast With Mediterranean Onion and Olive Tomato Sauce

- 2 white chicken breasts
- 2 sliced and quartered onions
- 1 sliced shallot
- 2 black olives, 2 green olives, sliced
- 1 diced unskinned tomato
- chicken stock
- dry white wine
- 1/2 tablespoon of Philadelphia Garlic & Herbs Cheese
- triple concentrated tomato puree
- fried chicken seasoning
- Italian Herb Seasoning (Schwartz or similar)
- salt
- pepper


Rub fried chicken seasoning and Italian Herbs onto the chicken breasts, add a dash of white wine, and leave to marinade for two or three hours; turn over repeatedly.

Sear onions in a medium sized frying pan for a few minutes at high temperature with a dash of salt until they just about turn slightly brown. Douse with a little bit of white wine first, stir briefly, then add chicken stock so the onions are just about covered. Also add the diced shallot, and leave to simmer under a lid at low heat for about five to ten minutes.

Next, turn up the heat, put the chicken breasts in the pan and sear briefly on both sides. Turn the heat back down, put in the olives and a bit more of the chicken stock, and leave to simmer again. Check repeatedly, and add the diced tomato about five minutes before the chicken is done.

Lastly, remove the chicken breasts from the pan, add the Philadelphia cheese and quite a bit of tomato puree (and perhaps yet more chicken stock as needed), and stir until you've got a thick creamy consistency. Replace the breasts, pour a bit of the sauce you have just created over them, and leave under a lid again, off the stove, for a few minutes.

Serve with rice (or mashed potato) and vegetables.

Pasta e Faglioli

Ingredients
1 tin Borlotti beans
3/4 tin chopped tomatoes with herbs
6 cherry tomatoes
Small onion, finely chopped
6 garlic cloves
Olive oil
Pinch smoked paprika
Pinch chilli flakes
Italian herb seasoning (oregano, basil, rosemary, thyme etc.)
1/2 litre stock (I used beef)
Small pasta like ditalini, or penne broken into halves

Method

1. Finely chop onion and crush 4 of the garlic cloves, finely chop the other 2. Chop tomatoes into sixths.
2. Heat 1-2 tbsp of olive oil in a large saucepan over a medium heat. Sweat the onion and garlic with the smoked paprika and a good shake of Italian herb seasoning until softened.
3. Add the chopped cherry tomatoes. Stir and cover, cook until softened and juices are released, about 5-8 mins.
4. Add the tinned tomatoes and stir. Simmer under cover for 10 mins. Add half the stock and stir, then cover and simmer for a further 5-8 mins.
5. Add the ditalini and the rest of the stock, cover, and simmer until the pasta is just underdone, approx 8 mins.
6. Drain the tinned borlotti beans and add to the pot. Stir, cover and simmer for 3 mins until beans are heated through and pasta is cooked.
7. Season and serve.

This will taste much better the next day after the flavours have had time to develop. If the soup isn't tomato-ey enough for you, add a little tomato puree at stage 3.

I made a roux this time, possibly. I haven't looked that word up, I just added flour to some hot butter and bacon fat. Close enough. Then chucked sliced garlic to caramelise, followed by about half a pint of milk stirred in, followed by a bunch of cheddar and mozzarella. Stirred that in, then poured it over the macaroni, freshly crisped bacon and some jalapeños. Added a few pinches of freshly ground pepper, put the mixture into three little bowls, grilled them at 200 for three minutes. A pinch of mozzarella on top with a pinch of pepper on top of that for looks, then another three minutes in the grill.

>>11030
The bowls were too hot to handle so I had to serve them on this tiny chopping board.

Apologies, the scanner didn't get the very bottom of the recipe. I did this at the library and didn't realize the mistake, til I got home.

The rest of the recipe is as follows:

300 ml veg stock or water
50g peas
Black pepper

I've had this with and without the tofu and apple. The tofu doesn't add enough to the flavour to justify its price. Also the apple doesn't do much either so feel free to leave these out if you want.

I'd give you a recipe but I think I'm too drunk to cook.

Last night's dinner. Improvised chicken dish:

- Chicken breasts, chopped into chunks

- Marinaded for an hour or so in:
Garam masala spice mix (Tesco brand)
Turmeric
Black pepper
Dijon mustard
Garlic (Prechopped from a jar)
Lemon juice
2 Scotch bonnets, finely chopped.

- Fried all that for ~20 mins, in olive oil.
- Added some milk to make a bit of sauce. Had no yoghurt or cream to hand.

- Simulateounly boiled some brown basmati.

This could've then been served as rice with chicken/sauce on top, but I like to mix everything together. So I preceded to mix everything together, and served in a large bowl.

It was honestly one of the most amazing things I've ever cooked. It literally put a smile on my face due to how delicious it was. I will be repeating this during the week, except with red chillis instead of scotch bonnets.

>>11067
Can you use curry sauce instead of curry paste?

Proper nice turkey burgers

For one:

· 120g of turkey mince
· 1 chilli pepper, chopped finely
· 30g onion, chopped finely into small bits
· (optional) mushroom chopped into small bits
· mixed leaf crunchy salad
· bell pepper
· 2 slices of danish bread
· mixed herbs, salt, pepper, other spices of your choice

Begin by chopping the onions, chillis, and mushrooms up.
Sautée for a couple of minutes.
Put in a bowl, leave to cool for a minute or two.
Meanwhile, chop up the bell pepper and prepare the salad.
Add the turkey to the bowl with all the spices and herbs, a dash of oil and a sprinkle of flour if you have some.
with your hands, mix thoroughly but not too much.
Once satisfies with the mix, take out of the bowl and form into either one large or two small burgers.
Grill/fry for ~6 mins a side on high heat (or until you are satisfied it's cooked through).
Meanwhile, toast the bread and put a thin layer of butter/marge on if you want. Put the salad on the bread and press down. Then, do the same with the peppers.
Finally, put the cooked burgers on top of that.
Drizzle with a sauce of your choice and serve with whatever veg. I chose broccoli.

Absolutely fucking delicious.

Nutrition for people who like that.

>>11142

Why no egg?

>>11144
I didn't have any in. Egg would help bind them, though, as they do fall apart quite easily without the egg.

>>11142
Burger puritan here, thoroughly mixing your mince will develop myocin; a binding protein removing the need for egg or breadcrumbs.

>>11155
So I was fine without the egg, then?

>>11157
you said they fall apart easily, egg/breadcrumbs/working your meat would have cured this, I've spent the last year experimenting with creating burgers and sausages, and I've made some tasty lil buggers that had terrible texture or bad structure so I say as long as you enjoyed it you did fine ladm8

>>11163
>egg/breadcrumbs/working your meat
Ideally, all three. Burgers falling apart during cooking is as irritating as breaking the yolk when frying an egg. Why take the chance, I say.

How To Use Mega Thick Sliced Loafs

Toast a slice like it was normal bread, then when it's "done" slice it diagonally and scrape out the untoasted bit from the middle. Now stuff that space with brie, or maybe another cheese but I've only used brie. Gently press down on the stuffed slices, maybe tuck the cheese in with the flat of a knife. Now put it in the microwave for just long enough to get the brie nice and melty, but not all gross and bubbly (I just played it by eye) and you've basically made a toasty. Oh, and stand them on end so the cheese doesn't melt out onto the plate.

I think this is a new idea, it's new to me at least.

>>11166
Can't you just, uh, make a toastie?

>>11167

Well, no. Not without a toasty maker, right?

>>11166

Brie?

Lah di bloody dah.

Beans.

>>11168

A George Foreman makes a better toastie than a toastie maker.

Despite the fact it's six months old and only has 77+ replies that image still defines. gs for me.

>>11180
2013 was 6 months ago?

>>11181
Maybe he's a United fan and 2014 never happened to him.

>>11182
Did you see that LUDICROUS display last night?

>>11180
I've asked a few friendly Japs about the malt vinegar thing and they said they had no idea what it was about, it wasn't a British stereotype they knew of. Maybe they were telling the truth or maybe they thought my precious British ego couldn't take the malt-vinegar mocking.

Oh my shits, shops run by muslamics are amazing. a kilo of shrimp and a kilo of squid for a tenner.

>>11206

Yeah, but I bet they were martyred. Every bite an added motivation for ARE ISIS.

I'll get my hijab...

>>11184
Arsenal always try to walk it into the net

>>11206
Careful, lad. They may be crusty slugs instead of shrimp.

I'm having a go at chickpea fries, but I've misread the ingredients so you might want to scale this down unless you're serving to a dozen people.

Crush 3/4 cloves of garlic and place it into ~1.9l of boiling water. Slowly mix in 540g of gram flour (I picked up a kg bag from Morrisons for just over £1) until it ends up like very thick custard and there's no lumps. Put it in a glass bowl, wait for it to cool before covering it in cling film and bunging it in the fridge for a few hours. When it's set cut it into chips and fry. Mine's in the fridge at the moment, it smells and tastes like rubbery mash potato which I guess is a good thing.

Seems like adding cheese when you're doing DIY garlic bread is a great idea. I'm probably going to be ill now but who cares. Some sort of peppered cheddar and mozzarella.

Cream of Mushroom Soup with Condensed Onions and Shallots

- 300-450 gr brown button mushrooms, sliced
- 3 midsize onions, sliced
- 3 shallots, sliced
- 1 spring onion

- a few tsp. of plain wheat flour
- 1 pint of water
- 3/4 cup of double cream
- 1 teaspoon of tomato paste
- a few dollops of butter
- 1 tablesp. of grated Parmesan cheese (Grana Padano will do as well)
- 1/2 tablesp. of Philadelphia cream cheese
- salt
- pepper
- Italian herbs mix
- vegetable stock
- dry (Italian) white wine
- red wine


Sautee the onions in a bit of butter in a smallish pan with a high rim until light brown, stirring constantly. Then first douse with a gulp of the white wine, allowing it to evaporate for a moment while still stirring, then add the shallots and just about cover with vegetable stock.

The onions and shallots must now simmer with a lid at low heat for approximately an hour, until they have turned brown and sticky. Add drizzles of water repeatedly as needed. This bit is a bit tricky, but if you get it right, you will be rewarded with a deliciously sweet onion flavour that you just won't get otherwise.

Meanwhile, fry the sliced mushrooms in another pan with a dash of salt and let simmer under a lid for a few minutes.

Then, in a separate pot, make your soup by starting out with a roux and then by gradually adding more water and flour and working your way up, whisking vigorously by hand so any flour clumps will dissolve, and adding the teaspoon of tomato paste somewhere along the process. Once you have a sufficiently thick texture, add some salt, a dash of pepper, a bit of vegetable stock, a dash of herbs, a hint of red wine, and finally the double cream, the Parmesan and the Philadelphia cheese. Lastly, add the fried mushrooms (including the liquid that may have collected in the pan from frying) and the condensed onions, stir gently, and let sit for about half an hour. Briefly reheat and stir gently. Sprinkle with chopped spring onion before serving.

>Lad, recipes are mostly bollocks. Ignore whatever times are listed because it's completely arbitrary in relation to what you're doing, your cooker is different, the pan is different, even the thickness and size of what you're cooking is different.

>Use common sense, if something is supposed to take 1hr, and you know your oven is shite, check at 1hr, had a prod, and put it back in for 10 minutes extra.

>>10383

Do this, but put cream cheese on both sides of both slices of bread before frying.

Thank me later, when you're in hospital with coronary failure...

Super Easy Delicious Risotto

-Cook some mushrooms in butter with, salt, pepper and a bit of garlic.
-Bang a can of Heinz mushroom soup in when they're about done.
-Dump a load of rice in, and let it simmer until it's cooked. Add milk if it dries up or gets too stodgy.

>>12078

This sounds nice. I'll give it a go on Monday. Cheers!

This site has easy, cheap, healthy dishes.

http://www.cookandeatwell.co.uk/recipes

If you live in the West Midlands, you go on their free course with free food. It's all government funded.

>>12144
That's a really good idea.