I forced myself to watch up to half way through the previous season before giving up. It was just too shitty.

I can't find where to watch it anywhere, can someone post a link? You can delete it afterwards.

>>16457
Ah don't worry I've found one.

I'm really shitty at internetting.

>>16457
blud are you serious? Just google 'game of thrones season 3 putlocker' or something.

>>16457

I just went to Primwire because I'm a moop who doesn't care about how disease ridden his computer gets. It's not like I can run ARMA2 anyway.

Yeah I'm in the process of reading the books so I'm ahead of where the television series is at.

Not gonna pretend I didn't cheer though, CAN I GET A HALLELUIAH PEOPLE, AW YISS

Haven't read the books.

I know it's pointless to extrapolate these sort of things from TV series, since usually nobody cares enough, but the cup was put down empty at fish-face-but-I'd-fuck-her, then there's a shot of Cersei being handed a refilled glass of wine, then Tyrion doesn't refill Joffrey's mug but it has wine in it anyway.

Rikkon did it.

>illegally downloaded

Does something really count as illegal if it's easy as piss to prove that someone's broken the law, millions are breaking it, and it's logistically impossible to arrest everyone?

>>16463

Well, yes, it was still a murder on the Orient Express, it's still illegally downloading a television show. It doesn't really matter how many people commit the crime, it's still a crime.

Of course, I realise that I just compared murder to watching a TV show online, so no need to point out that absurdity.

>>16465
Is downloading actually illegal? Uploading most certainly is, but surely the copyright offence is in the supply of a copy, not the receiving.

>>16466

I never thought about it like that, but I wouldn't think it matters a whole bunch to the CORPORATIONS. Although HBO do seem quite blasé about the whole thing, at least as far as I know.

>>16469
HBO are smart.

The current situation is a little weird. As far as I can tell, copyright infringement for non-commercial purposes is illegal according to the Digital Economy Act 2010, but there isn't any statutory procedure for enforcement, and part of the Act has been repealed already.

Normally, copyright infringement would be a case for the civil courts, but there's no real point in suing someone who isn't making money out of it.

Filesharing is illegal, but pretty much only on paper. It's not even remotely cost effective to pursue wide-scale enforcement, and I doubt it ever will be. From what I can make out, the worst fine you could make would be £2500 paid to Ofcom, so the copyright holder wouldn't even make any money out of it- and then there'd be billions in the government coffers and out of consumers' pockets, which doesn't do anyone but the government any favours.

Granted this is after only about ten minutes of research. I think that if half the country managed to dodge jail for not turning up for longbow practice for years, we might all be able to dodge this law, too, though.

If you can't make an informed speculation of who's at least partially responsible, you haven't been paying very much attention over the past three seasons, have you?

>>16472
The show had been spoiled for me so many times (I actively spoil it for myself) that I feel I know what is happening, but then I don't. Maybe I am too absent minded. What happened in the latest episode caught me by surprise although I knew to some degree that something like that would happen. Although I have been told numerous times who might be behind it or whatever, I forget and I have no clue.

Ok lads before we start in earnest, can we agree not to talk about the new episodes until after 10 on a Monday. Just for safety's sake.

I, for one, will be watching it on Sky tonight. I'm sure there will be others. I see all the important stuff is spoilered in this thread so far anyway.

Not getting on at anyone obviously, just making sure no-one gets it ruined for them, like happened last year when one yanklad went rogue.

>>16474
10 in the morning?

>>16474

I'd actually thought it was going out on Sunday here in the UK. But yes, I will at the least talk in vague euphemisms.

>>16471
I'm not convinced merely downloading and watching it amounts to copyright infringement, any more than someone watching a foreign sports feed in a pub would be. The offender there would be the publican who is making the feed available to their customers.

>>16475

PM.

It was obviously the brides mother wot done it! The throne line will either pass back onto the Brother-fucker who will be married to the poof (her son) or otherwise go to whats-her-face who has never consummated the marriage.

Either way her family will be running the place and it will be up to the giantess and handy Andy to stop them.

With spoilers out the way anyone else have a huge stonker for a strong woman in uniform?

>>16479
Yes, but it's made worse by how utterly tragic her character is. One day you'll get around to reading the books and learning her back story and she's even more pitiable. Poor Brienne.

>>16483
I won't read the book. Tell me.

>>16479

Gwendoline Christie is p kewl. She doesn't even know her birthday, an achievement I'm deeply envious of. And if anything bad happens to Brienne I'll Red Wedding the entire GoT writing staff. swer on me mum.

Also, doesn't the throne go to Geoff's little brother now?

>>16485
The GoT writing staff? ... What?

>>16486
I believe he's saying "if the writing staff of the series include any storylines in which my favoured character experiences misfortune, I will unleash upon them a punishment not unlike the visceral massacre in the ninth episode of the third season".

>>16487
Do either of you know the name "George RR Martin"? Ring any bells?

>>16488
Yeah, he's part of the writing staff of a show that doesn't always follow the books.

>>16488

Does "screen adaptation" mean anything to you?

>>16490
Adaptation doesn't mean they're changing any major plot points. If shit is going to happen, it'll have happened in the books. I assume. I wouldn't waste the time or recycled trees needed to read it myself.

>>16491
>I just don't know what I'm talking about really

Jog on.

He's right, if a tad obnoxious. No major plot points have been added so far. It'd be quite a change in direction if they started to do so now.

As the poster of the "Red Wedding" sentence, I'd just like to say it was a throwaway comment about Brienne being a favourite character of mine, and not something that I thought would incite such a flood of pedantry.

Now I'm off to bed, and I'll hear no more about it. Because I will be asleep, mostly.

>>16494
>I'd just like to say it was a throwaway comment ... and not something that I thought would incite such a flood of pedantry.

You seem to have forgotten where you're posting, lad.

>>16494
She gets killed by the Hound.

(A good day to you Sir!)

>>16455

Well I'm hiding my own thread.

.gs you are scum, I hope everyone, other than my dear old self, ITT dies of Exploding Colon Disease and that none of you so much as consider procreating. It would be, in a very real sense, a great leap backwards for humanity.

>>16497
She doesn't really you muppet.

>>16498

Not him, but not everyone enjoys reading. This is their only exposure to the series and something they have no frame of reference to disbelieve.

I have read the books, so I know it isn't true, but "The Hound doesn't kill Brienne" is still as much of spoiler as "The Hound killed Brienne" for people who haven't read them.

In a thread where any kind of spoilers will ruin someone's enjoyment of the show, your facetious humour is inappropriate and unwelcome.

>>16499
I only made the post saying she doesn't get killed by the Hound. Which isn't anything like as much of a spoiler as saying it did happen (if it did) in any case. There are thousands of things that don't happen to her, that happens to be one of them. And maybe I'm just trying to cover for him in any case, trying to appear certain that this doesn't happen, so that the shock of it would be the same is if it were never brought to any non-book reader's attention.

Anyway, if anybody is that concerned about spoilers a) take them with a pinch of salt, half of them aren't true anyway, or b) maybe think about reading the books you twat, they're not exactly Dostoevsky.

>>16500

How difficult they are to read isn't really an issue, if someone is in a sort of Wont Cook mentality. I wouldn't exactly call them remedial by any stretch, either.

I understand you aren't the spoiler, so I apologise if I came across as confrontational. However, people need to realise things like this are why we can't have nice things.

I tried.reading the books but simply didn't enjoy them.

As for spoilers, please don't, either fake or not, this isn't 4chan, I'm sure you're clever enough to think of some funnier jokes.

You shouldn't be giving spoilers because you shouldn't have read the damn things in the first place. He's right, this isn't 4chan, it's britfa.gs. If you're going to read or watch this cheap, American, Tolkein knock-off cultural garbage at least have the common decency to pretend you haven't. Maybe you should put down that paper cup of McDonald's coffee and actually read some Dostoyevsky. What the blazes will the colonies think?

>>16504
I'd say it was closer to Dune than any of Tolkein's works, to be honest.

>>16504

Tolkien doesn't come close.

Does Tolkien have a graphically depicted sex scene between a fat nobleman and the incestious child of a barbarian and his DaughterWife?

Get on our level.

>>16506
>>16505
How often it is that the angry man rages denial of what his inner self is telling him.

I read quite a lot.

There are tons of books for me to enjoy, but not many TV programmes. I don't read the books because I think they'll get in the way of my shared enjoyment (with friends, the girlfriend) of the programme. If they were works of literary genius, fair enough, but from what I've read they really aren't.

>>16496
This wasn't even a spoiler..

>>16509
>>16498 already said that without the disingenuous wording. The ban was shorter and the post not deleted in contrast to the accurate spoiler that was submitted. How is someone who hasn't seen the episodes in question supposed to know? You're colouring and distorting someone's viewing experience no less than if it were genuine. And for what?

>>16510

For the crack

(A good day to you Sir!)

>>16511
An equally valid reason for banning someone.

(A good day to you Sir!)

>>16508

Thanks, this is the justification for not reading the books that I've been thinking for about a year. However, I was totally incapable of writing it down or saying it aloud.

>>16511

Fucking bloody junkies. Makes me sick it does.

>>16512
Not least because it's craic. I'll be in /101/ where I belong

(A good day to you Sir!)

>>16514
We've had this discussion before, 'craic' is just an irishisation of an english word.

I just found out Mark Gatiss is playing the big chief of the Iron Bank they referenced in the last episode.

>>16542
Just like sand, cat hair, and that fucking paperclip, Gatiss gets everywhere.

>>16543

But unlike all three of those things Gatiss is generally a joy to behold and consistently welcome in all but the most private of events.

>>16544

>welcome in all but the most private of events.

He could stay and watch me shit, IYKWIM.

>>16545

Mirth audible to the flat below, Anon.

What a sad, sad, oh so very sad episode.

I should've known given the joy of the opening episode that is was only going to go downhill. If next weeks' episode doesn't have Gatiss turning to camera and telling a funny story from when he was working on LoG then I'll probably just slash open my wrists halfway through. Of course, the time I'd take to bleed out will probably be about half an episode, therefore sparing myself no heartache anyway.

So am I the only person who will purposefully spoil myself? When I want to watch a movie but am not sure, I won't bother with reviewers. I'll just go to the Wiki and read the plot synopsis and decide if it sounds like a good story or not.

Having never watched an episode of GoT, or know anything about it other than it has a throne made of Swords, sell it to me.

>>16583
It's lord of the rings with sex and politics. I find that people tend to know whether or not they'll like it based on that.

>>16584

It's lord of the rings with sex and politics and without any (most) of the magic and elves and shit.

It's more like a historical drama set in an alternate universe than it is a fantasy show.

>>16585
I'd say there's a hell of a lot more magic than in LOTR, actually. So far there's been dragons, skinchangers, an order of priests who can give birth to smoke demon baby assassins and resurrect people, a warlock who can create duplicates of himself and magic frozen men with zombie minions.

>>16586

Yeah okay... but no elves.

>>16582

I'd have you committed tbh.

>>16583

Spoiling all this because I'm nice, it doesn't give much away but enough for the first couple of episodes. It has three different stories which are slowly intertwining.

The first story is about a massive civil war in Westeros, a united kingdom ("The Seven Kingdoms") the size of Western Europe, between two noble house families, rebel House Stark and incumbent House Baratheon And Lannister, who seized the throne from the Targaryen dynasty several decades before the beginning of the show in an armed rebellion due to the king of the time, Aerys II Targaryen, who was famously insane.

The second story is about The Wall, a monumental wall of ice 300 miles long and 700 feet high, which is built on the northern border of the kingdom. It is manned by an order called the Night's Watch, who are sworn into service for life and may not marry or have children, and forego all claims to inheritance. Most of them are convicted criminals who faced the option between joining the Night's Watch or being executed. Beyond the wall are the Wildlings, who call themselves the Free Folk, and who always present a constant menace. They have been the main focus of the Night's Watch for many centuries. However, ancient monsters from legend (The Others, or White Walkers) begin to reappear. They can defeat the strongest opponent with ease, and have the ability to reanimate their dead opponents. They must content with desertion, constant attacks and many of their men never returning from their journeys north of The Wall.

The third story is about the only remaining family members of House Targaryen, Daenerys and Viserys, who are in exile in the eastern continent, called Estos. At the beginning, Daenerys is to be married to Khal Drogo, the leader of an immense army of horse-riding raiders who belong to a people called the Dothraki (they are sort of like the Mongols). The plan is basically that Khal Drogo will cross the Narrow Sea separating Estos and Westeros and conquer the Iron Throne of Westeros and restore their birthright. Many consider this story to be their favourite.

There are a good few 'story fragments' which follow these three main stories or result from them, but are not of them. This is due to the source books using a POV style of writing, which gives each character their own unique story inside the main story. All in all, this is a very nice gem of a show, and well worth your time to watch. You have nothing to lose, really.

>>16589
Essos*.

But apart from that that's quite a nice overview of the first season. The story relies quite heavily on political intrigue and who's dicking over who. In that way it reminds me quite a lot of Rome, so that might give you a good indication of whether you've got the attention span for those sorts of dramatics.

Now, on the topic of the most recent episode, what the fuck was that at the end and why did it remind me of Dead Snow? And does anyone else get the sense that they're cramming far too much story into too little screen time? I'm not sure I'd be able to understand what the fuck was going on without having knowledge of the books for a reference, it makes me wonder how people who've only ever seen the TV series are coping.

>>16590

As someone who hasn't read the books I'm coping well enough. Remembering all the bollocks Little Finger is up to is irritating that fucker wants the throne, doesn't he?, and was he that Irish sounding in previous series? But it can feel a tad rushed when you're going between 5 or so distinct locations in under an hour.

The bit at the end with the White Walkers was good, as they're definitely the most mysterious part of the show right now. It's an interesting chicken or the egg situation they have going on. And what happened to that huge bloody army they had at the end of the last series? Or am I underestimating just how far away they were?

Oh, and if anything bad happens to Bran Inc. I will be seriously pissed. Can't wait for those fucking deserters to bite it.

Not nearly enough nudity in this episode.

>>16591

>What happened to that huge bloody army they had at the end of the last series? Or am I underestimating just how far away they were?

That army was at the Fist of the First Men and is slowly meandering and gaining in power.

They keep adding stuff that wasn't in the books. Bran didn't go to Craster's keep did he? And where's Coldhands?

>>16591

Littlefinger is just plain irritating.

>But it can feel a tad rushed when you're going between 5 or so distinct locations in under an hour.
Yes, I suppose that might have something to do with it.

I think I'm in a weird position because I started off with the TV series, then read all the books in preparation for the fourth season, so I've got two sources of knowledge battling themselves in my head.

>they're definitely the most mysterious part of the show right now.
Trust me, they're the most mysterious part of the books too. The further along I got in the reading the more I started to agree with criticisms of Martin that go along the lines of "he's just bloody making it all up as he goes along" - which he cannily explains away as "ho ho I'm just keeping my readers on their toes". Are you, George, are you, or are you just scattering plot devices like so much ground pepper over these bloody things without resolving anything at fucking all and laughing all the way to the bank.

Look all I'm saying is that there'd better bloody be a whole lot of tying up plotlines in the 7th book or I'm going to cut someone.

I WISH I KNEW HOW TO QUIT YOU

>>16594
I too noticed this. I too have no idea what is going on. Fuck knows, frankly.

>>16594

Remember there are over 60 main characters right now in the books. The show simply doesn't have the budget to pay an actor's salary with so many characters, so they have to change stuff around, combine characters etc. For example, they had Gendry fill the role of both himself and Edric Storm It's the price one has to pay for making it on a screen. For the most part, I think they're going to move forward in the same direction as the book, even if the particulars aren't the same.

>>16595

>Littlefinger is just plain irritating.

Yeah, every time I hear him speak it's like someone's licking my ear lobe and not in a friendly way. Maybe that's the point; I still want him dead.

And yes or no; have the White Walkers come south of the wall yet?

Also perhaps your problem is that as the TV show and the books become more and more disparate you're probably going to get more and more confused.

I think used those semi colons correctly.

>>16598

> yes or no; have the White Walkers come south of the wall yet?

The White Walkers haven't come south of the wall yet.

>>16598

DO NOT read this if you haven't read to at least A Feast of Crows.

They can't come south of the wall. It is sort of a major plot point.

In the books, there is a gate in the Nightfort (one of the castles on the wall; there are 12 or 13) under the wall itself. It is sentient and mentioned that magical creatures cannot cross the wall. It lets Sam and Gillie through, because Sam is a Night Watchmen and lets Bran and company through (which is how they got North of The Wall) but wouldn't let Coldhands cross the threshold). The Wall has really powerful magic that means its core will never melt, also.

However, there was a horn that was buried with one of the First Men in the Skirling Pass that can bring down the wall. Mance Rayder has it, but it's broken. The White Walkers need that horn to be blown in order to leave The North.

>>16600

The horn that Mance has is a fake though, right? I always thought that the cloven horn that Sam is carrying in Bravos is the special horn

>>16601

Yeah, I think so. I read it 5 years ago, so I think I'm a bit hazy on the specifics. I knew I was roughly right. I had forgotten he had that, actually.

Isn't winter supposed to be coming? I seem to remember thinking in the first season that this world has a summer and winter cycles that lasts for decades and as a result this show was going to start resembling The Road by the end of it.

>>16590
The biggest problem I'm having is trying to remember parts of the plot that resurface from years ago. I had similar issues with Breaking Bad where after a year I couldn't remember anything at all from the plot.

Mad Men seems to be far better at using the recaps for this but then I suppose the story is simpler.

>>16598
You want a plain colon in that question:

>And yes or no: have the White Walkers come south of the wall yet?

>every time I hear him speak it's like someone's licking my ear lobe and not in a friendly way.

That...that is certainly a unique and unnervingly accurate description of it yes.

>Also perhaps your problem is that as the TV show and the books become more and more disparate you're probably going to get more and more confused.
Oh, goody.

Alright so Dany has conquered slavers bay, set free all the slaves. Now she will turn here sights to westeros and the Iron throne!

Or you know fuck around on her pyramid for like 3 books and argue about fighting pits and cushions. Hopefully we get to see her fuck her handmaiden soon though.

>>16605
Don't forget the diarrhea scene. Most important set piece in the series.

>>16606
it shall be a scene for the ages, imagine it in Glorious HD & Surround sound.

>>16603

I know what you mean about remembering things from years ago. It was a lot easier watching two episodes a day when I was catching up on the second series.

>>16605

Dan-Dan's cray-cray, right? I feel like her running out of reasons to have people killed won't actually stop her having people killed. Also her blue dress must be pretty gross by now, bloody change already.

And what's happening to these cities she's attacking once she buggers off? There's thousands of kilometers separating these places and all she's really doing is destroying the functionality of these places and then pissing off with a handful more camp followers.

Yay or nay: do her dragons ever do anything ever again?

Did I do better?

Dunno about you lads, but I'm looking forward to another noncing.

>>16608
>Yay or nay: do her dragons ever do anything ever again?

Who do you think is writing this series?
https://www.youtube.com/v/XjzC2DRgEo4

>>16609

>Dunno about you lads, but I'm looking forward to another noncing.

I think show Dany is 18+ so it's technically not a noncing. Book Dany, on the other hand, is 13 on when Drogo ploughs the shit out of her.

>>16609
Maejery noncing Tommen was well creepy, for sure. You only have to reverse the sexes to see how.

>>16613

Oh please, 14 year old me would have crushed his Xbox to ash if I thought Natalie Dormer would give me a handjob for it.

>>16614

So if she's pretty it's not creepy? I'm pretty sure that 15 year old girl quite fancied Jeremy Forest, he still went to prison for noncing her.

>>16615
>So if she's pretty it's not creepy?
Yes.

>>16614 >>16615
Can we not do this here? I just want a thread to talk about dragons in, man.

>>16617

Take it to /y/, pervert.

>>16608

>And what's happening to these cities she's attacking once she buggers off? There's thousands of kilometers separating these places and all she's really doing is destroying the functionality of these places and then pissing off with a handful more camp followers.

Good to see you're thinking this. She is determined to free the slaves because she lived so much of her own life in "slavery" to her brother. She sees how the slaves of the bay are suffering, and says to herself "I shall free all of these slaves" without thinking of the practicalities and consequences of doing so. It's an idealistic choice made by an idealistic person, but it's going to come around and bite her on the bum pretty soon.

>>16620

Yeah, good post. Stay tuned, basically. This story arch is actually going somewhere quite good, Daenerys probably has the best character development outside of Arya and Jon Snow, maybe even better.

Spoilers.

She learns a lot from her experiences in Slaver's Bay, the ways of war and how to run a kingdom in a city full of people who want you dead. All of Dani's story arch right up until the end of A Dance with Dragons is building towards her eventual taming of Drogon, the black dragon, and becoming a wise leader, but also foe that must be feared.

>>16620

Basically this.

>>16622

Haha, did you make that? Good work regardless.

Funnily enough when I posted >>16608 I was thinking how it's similar to what Rumsfeld did with Iraq.

Stop fucking posting spoilers already I'm shaking with temptation every time I scroll past.

>>16623

Yeah some one made that joke in the /tv/ thread and I made the image for it.

>>16587
The children of the forest are blatantly elves.

>>16626

They are more like Hobbits than Elves, in appearance. Or some manner of cross between the two. Both Ancient and childlike, one with nature. They are definitely magical too, so I suppose you are right.

I can't remember if it is mentioned how they managed to get Coldhands onside and what, or who, he is.

The running theory seems to be that he is Jon's uncle, Ned's brother, Benjen Stark. I don't know how well that stands up though.

>>16627
I had a great argument with someone on the other place about whether or not Yoda was a goblin.

>>16739

What you've done here, lad, is tell us that something horrible happens in this weeks episode.

Not a spoiler, per se, but use spoiler tags in future when discussing events on the show. The little things make a difference, we'll all be expecting something to happen now and it'll remove some of the emotion you are feeling right now for the rest of us.

>>16744

Don't "what you've done there is..." me, Stew.

But, yeah, you're right very sorry everyone.

The duel was fucking bullshit. Wooden shafts don't snap that easily, and you can't crush a skull with your bare hands as it if were made of papier-mâché. Dragons and magic I can accept because they're an established part of the fantasy world that's been created, but the kind of shit that happened in the duel instantly ruined the investment I had in the scene and destroyed any sense of verisimilitude.

>>16747

It's not like his head went like an empty cola can, it was long enough for Oberyn to get his wish, more or less. Well, less. And I have no problem imagining The Mountain's super strength could break a staff.

"Verisimilitude" is a butt ugly word, btw. I know that's not you fault but it's like a saying a normal word with a mouth of honey and horse tranquillizers.

That Dorne guy gone and got his nut done right in.

>>16757

I'm pretty sure all the fun characters are dead once T-Dawg bites it.

Did anyone else feel a shiver up their spine when are lad Ramsay finally got the recognition he deserved? Team Bolton all the way!

>>16759

The Bolton name won't last long, I can feel it.

>>16759
No, he's a dick.

>>16761

SPOILERS!!!

>>16747

I'm sure there was a bit in the books about him carrying a horse, the written canon paints him as superhuman.

>>16747

In Westeros, they do and you can.

>>16747
I can't be the only person who is disappointed with the new-mountain. The guy who played him in season 1 wasn't an Icelandic strongman but he absolutely fitted the part perfectly. He looked like a psychotic cunt. The new guy just looks goofy in my opinion.

>>16767

I thought that too until the fight.

I think the biggest problem is he now looks bugger all like The Hound. But you're right that the Mountain #1 looked like the kind of guy you wouldn't want to catch the lift with. Or go pony trekking with for that matter.

>>16767
I prefer the change. The old guy looked a bit too much like Brian Blessed to take seriously.

Come on Sky-Folk, just watch it illegally already.

Even though it's probably the most important event in the show right now, I'm not sure they've made me care enough about the wall. Also sad that the Crow with the nice beard died.

I've got a really bad relationship with GOT now. I'm unashamed in saying that it was the first TV season that got me to read the books, and while I thought seasons 2-3 on television were alright, the fourth season has completely disappointed me. I find myself not actually looking forward to each episode any more; watching the thing has just become a mostly unenjoyable chore. This is what happened with me and The Walking Dead.

>>16840
I threw the last book across the room in disgust at the end, what a fucking joke. Pulling some low-rent 2nd-rate hack author shit like that after so many books is like shitting into your reader's eyes. After that I completely lost interest in the TV show as well. Never again. I agree with the chore statement, even before I'd had my little paddy at the books the TV show was starting to feel like mowing the lawn.

>>16841
Can you tell what you're on about in a spoiler please?

I'm trying to work out why the battle was so lackluster. I suppose the big difference between it and helms deep was the lack of formations and proper buildup but in general GoT seems to do quite badly as battles. Compare and contrast: http://youtu.be/gXC-jJhFaUI[/spoiler]

>>16844
The wildlings aren't soldiers and are in a tenuous alliance under a temporary common cause. It'd be really fucking odd if they fought like a united, professional army.

>>16845
Well at least they could try and fight like those fucking Vikings from the show Vikings.

>>16844

>Formations

Once the shit hit the fan medieval combat was basically just a big brawl. And given that the Wildlings are basically a force of nature I can't imagine them giving much of a crap.

>>16847

They're also probably quite panicked. The only reason they're together as an army in the first place is because they want to escape the White Walkers by crossing the wall (which is why Mance hasn't blown his horn to take the wall down), and they've been harried all along their march to the wall by them. They're probably quite spooked.

>>16848

Didn't John steal it? Either that or it is a fake? It has been a few years since I read the books.

>>16849

Mance claims that the one he has is the real horn, but Tormund Giantsbane later says that it's a fake that they found in a giant's grave. Some fans think that the broken horn that Jon found at the Fist which Sam has right now in Bravos is the true Horn of Winter.

>>16842
John Snow dies

OR DOES HE??

It is so fucking cheap

>>16851

Jon won't die. I have a theory about that, but I'm not entirely up to speed on the latest episodes. I got up to the end of s3 a while ago but I've just restarted from ep1 so bear with me.

Jon and Sam are the literary embodiments of GRRM himself, Sam is what GRRM sees himself as fat, cowardly and clever, while Jon is what he wishes he could be, athletic, honourable and brave. This concept has parallels in other media e.g. Brian/Stewie in family guy.

As I say, I'm not fully up to date and I've stopped reading the books so I may be entirely wrong.

>>16852
Best as I recall he's not confirmed dead in the books. It's been a while since I finished the last book , but from what I remember we get a classic "someone stabs him" cliffhanger.

>>16853

Stop talking about the books, you scumbag!

>>16852

Jon Snow is a fucking enigma. He will live, because I truly believe he is the trueborn son of Rhaegar Targaryen. The Dragon has 3 heads means "There are 3 Targaryen children left".

Daenerys, Aegon and John. He is destined to ride a dragon into battle against the White Walkers, I think.

Or he is dead and George Martin will have the bad guys win.

>>16855

I dunno. In ep1 or 2 Ned makes it quite clear that Jon is a Stark. "There has been a Stark guarding the wall for however long, and even though you don't have my name, you are a Stark" and "when we next meet, we'll talk about your mother, I swear it." Unless of course his mother was Ned's sister and the dad was the mad king. It would make sense that Ned wouldn't tell his wife about it then, as Jon would be killed by Robert.

There's always a chance Jon could be the son of a Targaryen woman and Ned too.

I think you're right Jon will ride a dragon in to battle against the white walkers though, because I've noticed during my second run through that virtually everything that happens is predicted in some way by dialogue a few scenes before. King Robert for instance talks about his first kill, some Tarly boy a few scenes before Sam Tarly is introduced, there are honestly dozens of them that I just can't remember right now, the Tarly one is a bit of a weak example. But if I'm right Dany's brother (Vicerys?) does at one point early on say "the brave men didn't kill dragons, they rode them" which heavily implies that dragons will be ridden at some point.

>>16856

Rhaegar wasn't the mad king. Aerys was the mad king, Rhaegar's dad. Rhaegar was loved by the people, but he "stole" Robert's bird, Lyanna Stark, and he didn't take too kindly and started a rebellion.

Let me put it this way. How the fuck did Ned and Howland Reed kill 3 of the greatest swordsmen to have ever lived? They didn't, is the short answer. They let him to see Lyanna in the tower, who they were guarding instead of the King (because she was carrying a royal baby) where she was lying in her "blood bed" (a term describing childbirth in the GOT universe) and her dying words were "...Promise me, Ned..."

>>16852
>This concept has parallels in other media e.g. Brian/Stewie in family guy.
ASOIAF is obviously far from highbrow, but fucking hell mate.

>>16857

What you say is interesting and has basis, for instance all of Ned's children have brownish hair except Jon, and GRRM does seem to place an inexplicably heavy bias on hair colour determining lineage, but then the Targaryen's all have whitey-blonde hair, unless you see Aerys and Rhaegar in later episodes or books. Then you have the incident where Jon grabbed a lantern to kill a white walker and burnt his hand, if he is a true Targaryen he should be immune to fire. I know Viscerys wasn't but Dany makes a point of saying true Dragons can't be hurt by fire.

>>16857

What do you mean, they didn't? What happened to The Sword of the Morning if he isn't dead? I always interpreted "blood bed" to mean that she was dying in childbirth though, the blood was literally from her bad experience giving birth.

>>16862

We know they didn't have a scratch on them when they turned up in Starfall with Dayne's sword. Also, Ned spent a while there. That is where Wyla, Jon's "official" mother lives who was a wet nurse.

He was telling Lady Dayne what had happened and to create a back story, hell for all we know Ser Dayne went with them to help convince her to create this story before vanishing.

Then there is Edric Dayne. For him to know so much about Jon surprises me, sure the were milk brothers but it seemed more than a passing knowledge of who he was.

Also, Ned's character doesn't seem like the type of man to dishonour a vow. He is too honourable for his own good.

These are book spoilers, guys. Avoid.

Also, there are actual essays on the subject on http://towerofthehand.com

1 hour.

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLYYYYYYY FUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK THIS EPISODE.

What. The. Fuck. Are they doing with The Mountain? Because I was all "lol he's just inventing modern medicine, that's kewl", but then the Doc was all Frankenstien-ing out and I was all having trouble breathing.

>>16896

I know, right?

>>16896 >>16898
I swear to bog if any of you post without spoiler tags now you've made posts like this I'm going to hunt you down. I won't get a chance to catch up on my viewing for a few days.

>>16899

It's a very good episode, one of the better ones of this season.

For me the fight between Brienne and The Hound was the nastiest fights I've ever watched, period. It starts out okay but just get fucking worse until it's just two animals mauling each other.

Also no mercy killing from Arya, was it too hard or did she want him to suffer?.

>>16901

I think that Arya couldn't bring herself to do it, I don't care how much of a hard ass she is, she cares about him. Also I don't think we've seen the last of Sandor.

>Brienne and The Hound will never have giant babies together ;_;

Can we stop having to spoiler everything yet? I fucking hate it.

And I'd like to point out that for the entire fourth season my OP image has sat there with the patently wrong title of "Gregor", whilst it has clearly been Sandor all along.

>>16902
>Can we stop having to spoiler everything yet? I fucking hate it.

No. It's called being considerate. You knob.

>And I'd like to point out that for the entire fourth season my OP image has sat there with the patently wrong title of "Gregor", whilst it has clearly been Sandor all along.

That's bothered me too but I assumed it wasn't you who named it and just let it slide.

>>16902

>Can we stop being considerate and ruin the show for people who haven't seen it yet?

This is what you just said. Have a word with yourself.

>>16902
Indeed, she cares and as badass as she is for someone her age, she's still human and a child and as such she can't quite do it. I quite like that about her character; it turns her into an interesting person rather than a simple power fantasy.

>>16904
I know, right? I mean, it's not as if precious little sugar-lumps users who don't want to be spoiled can, like, hide the thread or anything, is it?

>>16906
Stop being a cunt. If anyone's being a 'precious little sugar lump' it's you, for having to put up with the onerous agony of spoiler tags.

>>16903>>16904

I didn't actually spoil anything, you mad bastards, I was only asking whether we had carte blanche post-season.

And I did name it and I'm not even sorry.

For some reason I want to watch the Battle of Blackwater episode again. I was watching S1 clips on YouTube earlier too, Loras is so pretty :3

>>16907
>No, I won't simply not look when I could just demand the rest of you preserve my sensitivities instead!
This is what you just said. Have a good, long word with yourself, lad.

FWIW, I wasn't even the guy you attempted to start a cunt-off with.

Can someone remind me why Jon Snow "took the black" and went to The Wall?

Also Dan-Dan is losing her kingdom faster than sand in a colander.

>>16909

Why would someone who wants to talk about the series hide this thread? It is for everyone, not just you and the other bloke. When new season time comes around, the previous ones are fair game, but if you even leave it a couple of months before omitting the spoiler tags to give anyone a reasonable chance to watch it no one will complain.

It isn't difficult to tag spoilers and it will hopefully save someone from having it spoiled for them, I really can't fathom why anyone would want to spoil a beloved series like this for someone. The Briene vs Hound fight didn't happen in the books, for example, so it isn't even as if sole watcher of the series would have seen it coming.

>>16912

He is a Bastard and can hold no lands, it would be an insult for Ned to take him with him to court and Caitlyn hated him for existing so he couldn't stay at Winterfell. On the wall, all men are equal. His Bastard status was irrelevant. His past forgotten, or so he thought.

>>16914

Someone has rather poor memory.

>>16913

There's also other subtle tweakings of plotline that they've made from the books to help it better translate to a TV show format, and other new plot points that have been entirely introduced for the TV show which won't have been mentioned in the books, so even I as a book-reader want to have these features preserved. For example, I thought the creation of Robb Stark's little proto-feminist was a fantastic bit of creative licence considering the way they used her in the Red Wedding, and I quite like the little sub-plot they've got going between Missandei and Grey Worm which I find to be quite an interesting examination of the cruelty of castration.

Rewatching anything with Starks in just has me facepalming and shouting "WHY!?" loud enough for neighbors to assume I'm walking in on numerous murdered loved ones a day.

>>16914

Why not just make him not a bastard? Like Roose Bolton did with Ramsay 'Cock-Chopper' Snow.

>>16916

It's hard to care about Grey Worm's phantom boner syndrome when there's so much going on though. I think they'll definitely need to reinstate a series two levels of nudity to make it work.

>>16917

She won't do it m7. She wants to be "remembered for her acting, not her breasts".

Remind me again how the little girl who kinda looks like an alpaca got that coin? Was it from the assassin?

>>16916
Honestly I thought Grey Worm's appetite was going to be a key problem for Daenerys in the same way the Eunuchs didn't work out for Imperial China. That's a shame.

Any book readers about? Little peeved that they (book spoilers) left out Stoneheart, maybe she'll turn up next season but damn if that wouldn't have been a good season close also ditching all the Tysha stuff with Tyrion and Jamie annoyed me but I guess I can understand why.

>>16917

Because there's funny societal rules in most of Westeros about bastards and being "trueborn", ones which Stick-Up-The-Arse-Stark would never cross. Whereas the Boltons, a family of flayers and torturers are decidedly more weaselly sorts who will use dirty politics to further their own ends. Basically it's just not in Ned's character to not play by the rules - and Ramsay Snow is still regarded as "a bastard's a bastard" by the majority of polite society, I think.

And yeah, I get that about Grey Worm. I thought it was a novel perspective anyway, but I agree they definitely shoehorned it in at the wrong moment.

>>16918
She's in the wrong bloody series for that then.

>>16918
But her acting is shit m8. Can't wait until we get her shitting and vomiting in the middle of the desert.

>>16919
Yes, and it's an important plot point for Alpaca's whole story arc (if they bother to stick to it in the series, who knows) so do pay attention. There will be a test at the end.

>>16913
>Why would someone who wants to talk about the series hide this thread?
Not either of the other guys, but if you don't want to know plot details why would you not hide a thread that implicitly admits in its opening post that it'll be full of them? It's like complaining about all the porn videos on xhamster - if you don't want to see porn, then don't go there.

>>16924
>Not either of the other guys, but if you don't want to know plot details why would you not hide a thread that implicitly admits in its opening post that it'll be full of them?

Because most people on boards like this are considerate enough to use the spoiler tags, the use of which is explained in the FAQ, in order to prevent spoiling fiction for users who aren't up-to-date with what's going on. It is telling that it seems to be only you who is confused by this. What did you think 'spoiler tags' were implemented for?

>>16924 >>16925

I think we could all benefit from leaving this obvious cuntoff behind and focusing on what this thread is really all about.

Nathalie Emmanuel's tits.

>>16925
>It is telling that it seems to be only you who is confused by this.
Evidently there's at least two other people, though I don't really think any of us are "confused" by this. In fact, if anyone here is "confused" here it'll the entitled cunt that stares at you from the mirror.

>What did you think 'spoiler tags' were implemented for?
What did you think 'hide' was implemented for?

>>16927

> What did you think 'hide' was implemented for?

I haven't posted in this thread before because I can't watch television for longer than five minutes without praying for a nuclear holocaust.

However, I'd like to point out that 'hide' only works until you clear your cookies (which for me and anyone else sane is until you close your browser window). Clearing your cookies and coming back to find a thread full of spoilers because some ponce is too lazy stupid to use spoiler tags must be pretty fucking annoying.

>>16927

To hide threads that don't interest you or offend you in some way, not to avoid spoilers; that is what spoiler tags are for.

If you post spoilers before a reasonable amount of time has passed, you will be banned. It is as simple as that.

>>16929

STANNIS KILLS DUMBLEDORE! RIVER SONG IS A TARGARYEN!

>>16928
>which for me and anyone else sane is until you close your browser window
Piffle. You can't disable a vital internet feature and then moan when you encounter consequences as a result. If you don't have a way to whitelist certain cookies that are obviously necessary to provide basic functionality and aren't realistically used for tracking you don't have a functioning browser. That doesn't mean I think people should skimp on spoiler tags, but they shouldn't be used to accommodate someone like you.

>>16932

> You can't disable a vital internet feature

I don't want to throw this thread off topic, so this will be my last post on the subject, but cookies that persist across browsing sessions are hardly a vital internet feature. They may be a convenience for some people (who don't want to have to log back into facebook or gmail every time they close their browser, or whatever), but certainly not vital. If I were disabling cookies entirely then you'd have a point, however flushing them between browsing sessions is simply common sense.

Beyond this, any number of websites recommend that you "clear your cache and cookies and try again" when you're having problems logging in - poof there go all your carefully hidden threads.

Same thing if you browse from your mates laptop, your phone, a fresh install, wherever else. Quick! Hide that thread before you see all the spoilers!

Essentially your whole argument is laughable and you should feel ashamed.

>>16933
>Same thing if you browse from your mates laptop, your phone, a fresh install, wherever else
Only that wouldn't involve you intentionally clearing the data that the system relies on to function. Nor was you doing so brought about in an attempt to remedy a technical fault. The technical fault you mention is of course where non-session cookies become malformed and need to be replaced. Non-session cookies don't exist for you! Laughable arguments indeed.

>>16897 >>16901

Well, I've finally gotten up to date and all I can say is HOLY FUCKING GOD THAT FIGHT. At first I was all "nah it's not canon, m8, I ain't havin' this" but then it progressed into the most Brienne thing Brienne could ever do against someone as downright nasty as the Hound. It was brutal, angry, and involved her realistically screaming from getting kicked in the cunt. I don't think I've ever enjoyed a fight scene more. I'm tempted to go as far as to say GRR missed a trick by not having those two meet in the books; symbolically it's an excellent meeting for their characters.

Anyway yes. Go Team Brienne. Got hype.

>>16929
>To hide threads that don't interest you or offend you in some way
Evidently spoilers offend you in some way. That seems to fit the use case quite nicely. So, you can bitch about unmarked spoilers, because they will happen whether by accident or by design, or you can take the massive fucking hint in the first post and not look. Now if people want to post stuff from the books, that's a different matter.

>>16938

That is a pretty flimsy rebuttal. They don't offend me, the concept that having the show spoiled for you could offend is quite ridiculous.

I can bitch about them, sure. And you can also bitch in /shed/ for getting banned for posting spoilers, such is the freedom this website provides for its users.

>>16937
Hound was my favourite character, fuck Brienne

>>16940

Brienne named her sword and we all know what The Hound thinks of people who name swords.

[h1]CUNT![/h1]

Holy shit! I just realised that the guy who's now healing up The Mountain is one of the people The Mountain was torturing at Harrenhal, or whatever that ruin is called.

>>16942 Yup, I was worried that the re-jiggering about of the story to suit the tv series would create confusing story lines... and it has. Sorry to be that guy, but in the book.... I'll ban myself.

>>16943

I'm not sure if it's confusing. I just don't think many people have realised. Watching random episodes was definitely a smart idea.

There's a very apt line in "Blackwater" where Varys talks about how he hates the bells.

>>16919
It's given to her by this fella: http://awoiaf.westeros.org/index.php/Jaqen_H%27ghar. It's a wiki about the series, so spoilers abound.

>>16946

http://gameofthrones.wikia.com/wiki/Game_of_Thrones_Wiki

Spoiler free TV only wiki.

>>16944 Maybe not confusing so much but it's created a storyline that wasn't there in the books. Qyburn was actually a member of the bloody mummers who were sell swords and I think at one point actually worked for the mountain before going to Roose Bolton and blah blah blah.

>>16948

Fuck the books!

And what's a "bloody mummer"?

>>16949

A mummer is a theatre actor. The term "mummer's farce" is used a few times in the book.

>>16950

>>16949 is a fucking mummer's farce.

>>16951

ur mummer's a fat arse.

Also, I don't usually let YouTube comments so much as enter my eye line, but this one pissed me off. Spoilers contained, do not open until episode 10 of season 4.

She could brain this little cunt till he passed out with those "weak wrists".

>>16952

What a cunt.

>>16953
Look at the username.
Anyway I hope this thread doesn't turn out to be debating against that fight like every thread everywhere else has.

>>16954

That doesn't make him less of a cunt, lad.

I quite liked the fight It cemented the idea that Brienne is NOT to be fucked with.

LEAK!!!

First two episodes of season 5 up on EZTV.

>>19308

First four actually.

At first I was going to wait till actual HD copies surface, then I figured I might as well watch just one.

Now it's 9pm and I've watched all four.

>>19309
We did this to ourselves lad. Now we have to wait another fucking month until we can see season 5.

It's a damn good thing I don't use heroin because with this kind of self-control I'd end up with hepatitis B sucking cock in an alleyway in 3 months.

>>19310
This could be a good catalyst for a thread detour because I have similar problems and really worry that if drugs were decriminalised I'd give heroin or some shit a try and end up as a dragon chaser sharing needles with Freddie Mercury types within weeks.

I meant to be productive tonight and worry that I'll just end up nicking GOT, which I don't even like very much, but feel I have to persevere with as I've come so far.

>>19311
Well I'd hate to give any spoilers but I have to warn you that these first 4 episodes will probably feel like a slog for you then. That's typical for GoT though; the bombastic bits are always clustered around the middle to end of a season. They're mostly just setting up where everyone is; I'm not particularly looking forward to Arya's storyline in Bravos as I don't feel it's going to translate well to the screen. I am looking forward to Cersei getting her comeuppance at the hands of the Faith though. I hope they do the scene of her public penance justice. It's gonna be savage.

>>19312

Sorry to burst your bubble m8 but it's in there, with a body double.

>>19315
Why would that burst my bubble when I'm...looking forward to it?

Oh, wait, maybe you think I care about seeing Lena Headey naked. I don't, I just care about how they bring such a powerful plot line to the screen. Soz.

I do have sex dreams about Jaqen H'ghar though. Does that count? I just...needed to tell someone. _{I'm so conflicted.}

Well, I watched all four. It's best to get these things out of the way, before I lose my interest in it.

>>19318
The cruelest thing is that in reality the actress is some right posh bint with the plummy accent and triple-barreled surname to match. Puts me right off my fan fiction wank that does.

I'm fairly certain, lads, that Daenerys' tits have gotten bigger.

>>19361

Her bosom is inversely proportional to the bushiness of her eyebrows.

>>19362

I prefer the eyebrows.

I've been a very good boy and not watched episodes 3 and 4 yet, but I'm bumping the thread anyway because this is so funny.

Lads, I had the hardest boner for the last scene before the credits rolled. Am I broken? I am disgusted at myself.