Why in Hell are Chelsea wearing yellow? Maybe it's more accommodating for people with colour blindness, but if I find out that's not the reason... I'm going to stay slightly irritated about it.

>>33137

The papers are saying superstition - they've had a lot of success in the cup wearing yellow. Colour blindness probably isn't a factor, because nearly all colour blind people can still distinguish red and blue.

>>33137
There's no Chelsea players in EA's team of the season because of the invasion and them being owned by Abramovic.

>>33139
Does Son get dog eating chants directed at him like Park did?

>>33138
That's reasonable enough then. They get a pass this one time.

>>33139
Is that true? I have my doubts, if only because assuming you have to remove one of those players, which Chelsea player would take their place?

>>33141
People were given the option to vote from a choice of 40 players for the 15 making up the team of the season. Not a single Chelsea player was amongst that 40.

https://www.dailystar.co.uk/sport/football/ea-sports-chelsea-fifa-22-26788454

On the official Premier League site there's the option to vote for your player of the season. Jarrod Bowen and James Ward-Prowse are there, but not Mason Mount.

https://www.premierleague.com/news/2612174

>>33138
Well that worked out well for them, didn't it?

>>33142
Oh, okay. The manner in which you're telling me is making me think you want me to care. I don't mean that in an arsey way, I just don't quite get what you want me to do with this info. Always more of a career mode boy.

Why, whenever you make a mistake speaking forrin to a forriner, do they seem so completely offended and quickly try to correct what you're saying, pronunciation included; yet when they speak English with whatever fucking weird syntax and garbled consonants, we don't do the same?

>>33185

They're not used to people butchering their language, I suppose. Spoiled pricks.

>>33186

Rory Sutherland has an excellent anecdote about a friend of his who learned Estonian. He was expecting people to be impressed because no-one bothers to learn Estonian, but they just assumed that he was a very stupid Estonian.

English is the global lingua franca, so most English speakers are very used to hearing broken English. If a German and an Italian are in a business meeting, they'll probably speak English and probably speak it in a slightly wonky fashion. Speaking English is high status in most cultures, because it's the language of international trade and culture. Conversely, speaking broken Dutch or Swedish or Greek is low status, because most people who do it are low-wage migrant workers or refugees.

HIGNFY can fuck off. Same goes for most, if not all, political comedy even. It has this veneer of being critical of power but the heart of it is just a sort of catharsis, a reassurance to the viewer that other people agree with them, then they go back to doing nothing to affect positive change. Ho ho ho the queen's hat and people starving isn't that a funny contrast, I can't wait to hear what they say next week.

>>33188
You don't think James May and Jess Phillips are pushing against the boundaries of acceptable political speech with their rapier sharp political satire? No? Oh, well, how about this viral video you saw on the internet four days ago?

>>33188
I, for one, do not even own a NFY.

>>33188
If you really want to be furious, there's always Question Time. I like Have I Got News For You and I will forgive a lot from it, but Question Time has something dreadful about it that I really couldn't put my finger on. I think I've figured it out now: the topics themselves that are always discussed are so tightly controlled. What does our market research say people care about this week? Oh, it has to be the cost-of-living crisis. Tonight on Question Time, don't even fucking think about challenging politicians on house prices, the environment, biased media coverage, baby boomers or the Northern Ireland Protocol; you will ask about the cost of living and you will like it. It's downright sinister.

Besides, tonight's HIGNFY was presented by someone other than the regular six or seven guest presenters who do every episode; Miles Jupp hosted it and that means Alexander Armstrong stayed the fuck at home for once.

>>33191
This makes me think how interesting a disorganised question time would be. Imagine politicians locked in a room with a baying mob for an hour. The only mediation on the part of the BBC being to ensure that nobody physically hurts one another and perhaps to beep the swears for comic effect, or throw in some hot button issues and voting records if the show's looking boring.
(Though maybe I just like the idea because the underlying dynamics of such a show would reflect my perception that across ideological boundaries MPs feel more solidarity with one another than with their electors.)

>>33192
>perhaps to beep the swears for comic effect
mirth

>>33193
Where is Danny Wallace these days?

>>33194
The only things I've seen him in in recent years has been the Assassin's Creed games, where he's a smug unfunny cunt, and also commentating on the World's Strongest Man tournament, where he's a smug unfunny cunt.

>>33194
On the radio

I just spent an hour trying to find out why my PC had decided to constantly select upwards on certain Windows 10 menus. If you want know what that means, right click a programme on your taskbar and hold the up arrow on your keyboard. That was not the issue, do not tell me to unplug my USB devices, I will come to your house. I was booting in safe mode, trying different mice and keyboards, turning on and off certain programmes that launch on start-up, looking for malware; none of it worked a bit. Then I walked off for five minutes, made a coffee, come back and it's stopped. Just fucking stopped. Maybe it's going to come back, maybe I'll have to reinstall the whole damned system just to weed this stupid, tiny, problem out, but, for now, it's gone and I'm as pissed off as I was an hour ago.

>>33197
I, for one, don't own a Windows 10.

>>33198

Linux users are the craft ale bores of computing. Apple users are either hipsters or women.

>>33197

I had this same issue using DS4Win with a Switch Pro controller, all acting like I was holding Up-Right on the joystick. I'd have to repeatedly stop and start the program / controller until it behaved properly, or do something close to what you did, i.e. touch NOTHING and wait a minute. Something in the most recent Windows Update sorted it out, though.

>>33200
I think DS4Win might have been the problem, yeah. I closed it at one point and it didn't have an effect, but preventing it from starting on start-up has stopped any silly business. I swear that programme was perfect two years ago, but it kept getting updates anyway.

You guys are so fucking petty it's unbelieveabe. Do you want people to use these boards or not?

>>33202
People, not Americans.

>>33202

No, go away.

I did a load of sniffing at the weekend and now my nostril is clogged, a bit sore and I'm incredibly tired. Quite parched as well.

If supermarkets weren't shut early on Sunday I'd have a chocolate éclair right now.

Obviously I can’t ask my mum this to her face so I have to do so here: what kind of moron buys a clock in 2022? It’s ticking and tocking and it even sodding chimes. It’s an annoying noise box, you can’t even post on .gs from it.

>>33202
I actually thought it was an amusing and mildly thought-provoking image, but "REACT TO THIS, MY PUPPETS" does my head in.

>>33206

Mums. Mine has a cuckoo clock that looks like a log cabin and plays Edelweiss on the hour. It cost more than my massive telly.

>>33206

My Gran had an RSPB bird themed clock in her kitchen that would chime with random bird noises every hour, you'd be making a cup of tea and suddenly you'd hear the digitised screeching of a blue tit out of nowhere, it would always scare me shitless.

>>33209
I know what I'm getting you in this year's gs Secret Santa.

https://shopping.rspb.org.uk/gifts-home/home-and-kitchen/decorative-home-accessories/rspb-bird-song-clock.html

>>33209
hah, I have that clock, rescued it off a bonfire. I've not bothered setting the chime right, so 8 o'clock is death-owl o'clock. Strangely, that clip didn't play the barn owl, https://youtu.be/5Ywq8luxcnE?t=63

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-61562773

>The nation is being encouraged to sing Neil Diamond's soft rock classic Sweet Caroline to celebrate the Queen's Platinum Jubilee next month.

>The song was chosen by listeners of Zoe Ball's Radio 2 Breakfast Show as an "uplifting, happy" melody everyone can sing at street parties on 5 June.

>Announcing the campaign, Ball described the 53-year-old hit as "a song of togetherness".

>It is hoped that 10 million people will join the singalong.

Fuck off with this shit. I don't want to sing to the queen, I don't want to clap for our NHS heroes, leave me alone.

>>33212

I think various groups are planning to protest the Jubilee, that might be more up your street.

All I ever wanted out of this jubilee was a decent number of bank holidays and we're not even getting that. The Spring Bank Holiday is moving to the other end of the week and we're getting one extra day on top of that.

Fucking cheapskates.

>>33212

>street parties

Who the fuck will be having a street party. If there's one thing I hate it's the invocation of a quaint, community oriented Britain that pulls together through thick and thin, blitz spirit and all that.

It just doesn't exist, it's a nice comforting fairytale middle class and above people tell themselves about what it's like to live in a row of shite 1930s terraced houses in Harehills, attempting to lionise the working class while they continue to shit on us from great heights.

It annoys me that some people actually WILL have street parties, because it gives them the satisfaction, doesn't it. Imagine the BBC reporters who'll be stalking poor neighbourhoods trying to interview some salt of the earth peasants about celebrating the Queen.

I don't even hate the Queen or the royal family, I'm completely agnostic on the matter of monarchy. I don't give a shit either way. But this shit is annoying. It's not the 1950s. It's not that episode of Doctor Who with the tellies that suck your face off. Bollocks.

>>33215
My area had a street party for the Diamond Jubilee and it was nice - lots of cake and bunting and a chance to catch up with the neighbours. So the Britain you describe does exist, albeit not as ubiquitously as the powers that be should probably like. But I think there was in general more of a celebratory atmosphere back in 2012 due to the Olympics.

>>33215
I remember there being a street party on my estate for the Golden Jubilee. As I was 9 I probably thought it was good fun having sweets and sausage rolls and all that guff. Now the thought of there being a party on my street fills me with dread.

I think the main advantage of living in an area with lots of student HMOs is that there isn't a sense of community, so we're spared clapping on the door step or entertaining trick or treaters.

>>33215

We have street parties around my way, but they usually get broken up by the police.

I might go out looking for a street party and join it. My street won't have one because the houses are all flats with mindbroken zoomers and immigrants now, but most of our landlords live nearby. Let's see if they ask me to leave if I don't live on their street, or if they even notice they've never seen me before.

Dinner prepped, oven on, quick shower, check on dinner; left it on the side still marinating.

I'm trying to be patient because I was a noisy child growing up but the kid next door is really starting to get on my tits. Every time I get off work and want to have a sit down to relax from my awful adult life I have him shouting nonsense out his window at irregular intervals or barking.

It's going to be a long summer.

>>33221
That sounds horrible. Have you tried hitting him?

>>33222
I'm trying to make a change to let a child have fun without some 'orrible adult shouting at him at every turn. If he wants to make noises after a hard day at school then fair enough, at least he's not one of those prats revving a motorcycle.

But the rage will eventually boil over and I'll throttle the life out of the little cunt.

>>33221>>33223
The kid across the street from me is properly feral. At the weekend he was lifting up the manhole cover on his neighbour's driveway and throwing things down there. He was also throwing footballs repeatedly at his house while his mum was out, he'd just been dumped on the street, and they kept hitting cars when they bounced back. I'm surprised he didn't get a bollocking, but you can always hear his mum screaming at him.

>>33221
That sounds horrible. Have you tried moving from Povvo Street?

I don't have Adblock on my work computer. I am listening to a song that's around ten minutes long (Finished Symphony by Hybrid) on YouTube, and it just cut out after six minutes for an advert.