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>> No. 28571 Anonymous
17th May 2019
Friday 1:05 am
28571 Minor Rants and Piss-Offs, Mark VIII
It appears largethreadmodlad has also locked the previous iteration of this thread; Mark VIII it is, then.

I take perfect care of my nails. I don't bite them, I cut in the standard flat formation every 3-5 days, and scrub under them in the shower. So why the actual fuck are my cuticles bleeding? Putting the plaster over to catch the blood means I can't play my bass properly, and that pisses me off.
4424 posts omitted. Last 50 posts shown. Expand all images.
>> No. 33575 Anonymous
22nd September 2022
Thursday 4:39 pm
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>>33571
>>33572
Feel like I should be reading this in the margins of the letters section of the Official Xbox Magazine or something.
>> No. 33576 Anonymous
22nd September 2022
Thursday 5:09 pm
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>>33573
>it's DPD, or worse, Hermes
If you weren't aware, Hermes have rebranded as Evri. Just so you know what to avoid.
>> No. 33577 Anonymous
22nd September 2022
Thursday 7:33 pm
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>>33573

If (like me) you live in a house that's hard to find from the street, the real-time tracking is invaluable. With other couriers, it's pot luck as to whether they'll find the house, but with Amazon I can just go out and flag them down as they approach.
>> No. 33578 Anonymous
23rd September 2022
Friday 3:07 pm
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The Arctic Monkeys have released the most boring song ever and BBC 6 Music are threatening to break Craig Charles' legs if he doesn't play it daily.
>> No. 33579 Anonymous
23rd September 2022
Friday 7:38 pm
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The Crown Jewels are really ugly.
>> No. 33580 Anonymous
23rd September 2022
Friday 9:21 pm
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>>33579

Nobody asked you to describe your bollocks to us.
>> No. 33581 Anonymous
23rd September 2022
Friday 10:11 pm
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>>33580

My bollocks are lovely and plump with a velvety texture. The Imperial State Crown is weirdly mis-shapen and asymmetrical, like a badly repaired Cat C Ford Sierra.
>> No. 33582 Anonymous
24th September 2022
Saturday 9:20 am
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>>33574 mild /101/ - it turned up at 8 this morning, completely unannounced until the phone rang saying the gates were shut.
Ah well. 6th October did feel unlikely.
>> No. 33583 Anonymous
24th September 2022
Saturday 10:51 am
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I turned on Radio 4 this morning, to discover that the guests on Saturday Live were Mel C and Rylan Clark. If the Tories want to privatise the BBC, I say let them - I don't see what's worth protecting any more.
>> No. 33584 Anonymous
24th September 2022
Saturday 11:08 am
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>>33583
I like Rylan's Radio 2 show, but he's a bit much when he's on the telly.

I can't remember the last time I actually watched anything on the BBC.
>> No. 33585 Anonymous
24th September 2022
Saturday 12:10 pm
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>>33584

I have absolutely no problem with Rylan being on Radio 2. I have no problem with Rylan, I think he's a charming and often incisive chap. I do have a problem with Radio 4 becoming Radio 2 without the music.

Going through the schedule on Radio 4, how much of it is meaningfully more highbrow than a typical middle-market podcast? In Our Time, The Briefing Room, The World Tonight, maybe Inside Science and More Or Less. Beyond that, it's just the same low-effort bumwaffle that you can find in a hundred other places. The argument for the license fee has always been that the BBC can do things that no-one else can, but that doesn't feel particularly true any more.
>> No. 33586 Anonymous
24th September 2022
Saturday 1:01 pm
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The worst thing about Radio 4 is that they have conspired to ensure that no matter what time of day I take my smoke break, no matter what day of the week, it's either The Archers or bloody Woman's Hour.

Fuck 'em, sell it to MurdochCorp.
>> No. 33589 Anonymous
26th September 2022
Monday 4:10 pm
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I wish one of you pair hadn't explained tax bands to me years ago. Now I am forced to witness that the great mass of the population have absolutely zero idea what they are or how they work.
>> No. 33590 Anonymous
26th September 2022
Monday 4:24 pm
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Had a parcel stolen. It was only about a tenner's worth of cable ties and tacks but because I need them tomorrow I'm going to have to either pay out of my arse for them at Screwfix or pray that "tomorrow by 1pm" bezos delivery means that.
>> No. 33591 Anonymous
26th September 2022
Monday 4:35 pm
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>>33589
That goes for a lot of things with the general public, particularly where personal finance is involved.

Many people don't understand the energy price cap and think they can use as much as they want without paying more once they've reached that £2,500 figure. Many people aren't aware that higher rate taxpayers pay less in NI so the difference between that and the basic rate band is only actually 10% net. Most people don't have a clue what a pension is. You get the idea.
>> No. 33592 Anonymous
26th September 2022
Monday 11:51 pm
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>>33591

>Many people aren't aware that higher rate taxpayers pay less in NI so the difference

Consider me one of them. What do you mean they pay less NI?
>> No. 33593 Anonymous
27th September 2022
Tuesday 12:44 am
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>>33592

If your gross income is higher than the Upper Earnings Limit (currently £4,198 per month), you pay a reduced rate of 3.25% on earnings above that limit, as opposed to the normal rate of 13.25%.

In theory, this is because of the principle that National Insurance is a kind of insurance scheme. High earners don't get more benefit from the State Pension or Statutory Sick Pay than middle earners. In practice, National Insurance has just been another tax for decades and the revenues aren't ring-fenced for any particular purpose.

The British tax system is relatively straightforward by international standards, but there are still a fair few weird quirks.
>> No. 33594 Anonymous
28th September 2022
Wednesday 1:39 pm
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After a couple of months of trying to find a home, family have been chiming in with suggestions, but it's been difficult to keep track of them. So yesterday I finally bit the bullet and created a Trello board so I don't have to look at fucking Rightmove on my phone, and today an agency tells me that I'm the preferred candidate on a flat I looked at earlier this week.
>> No. 33595 Anonymous
29th September 2022
Thursday 4:58 pm
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There's a gameshow on the BBC right now but Alex Scott is the presenter and she can't speak clearly for shit. One of the questions starter "premiering in 2022..." and it took me a while to click she wasn't on about Premier Inn because she was reading the question off the card like a small child.
>> No. 33596 Anonymous
29th September 2022
Thursday 5:43 pm
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>>33595
For as long as Fara Williams exists, Alex Scott will never be the worst female football pundit to listen to. Although I can't understand why she would present a gameshow.
>> No. 33597 Anonymous
29th September 2022
Thursday 6:03 pm
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>>33596
The BBC have schemes for increasing ethnic minority representation on screen, which is how Dion Dublin ended up presenting Homes Under The Hammer.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MTjs59onomo

Alex Scott ticks a lot of boxes. She's the socially acceptable shade of brown. Female. She's at the very least bisexual. The BBC have promoted her quite heavily in recent years but she's not got the charisma to carry off presenting a game show by herself.
>> No. 33598 Anonymous
2nd October 2022
Sunday 1:56 pm
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Every time I see a skinny lad with a larger girlfriend I can't stop myself from thinking "I wonder if he posts on .gs?"

Also if you don't stop being mean about Alex Scott I'll kill you all.
>> No. 33599 Anonymous
2nd October 2022
Sunday 2:02 pm
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Alex Scott is not fat and I would not have sex with her.
>> No. 33600 Anonymous
2nd October 2022
Sunday 2:16 pm
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>>33598
She's bland. She is quite fit, but she has the personality of a damp towel.
>> No. 33601 Anonymous
2nd October 2022
Sunday 2:21 pm
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>>33598

That reminds me. Which one of you started working at Vice?
>> No. 33602 Anonymous
2nd October 2022
Sunday 3:01 pm
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>>33601


I had to go all the way to urbandictionary to find out what FUPA means.

I have actually been in the sack with somebody who was decidedly on the portly side. Not something I'd like to repeat. Best left to dedicated chubby chasers.
>> No. 33603 Anonymous
3rd October 2022
Monday 10:01 am
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>>33601
Even the preview image turns my stomach. Obesity at this point is a lifestyle choice based on lack of discipline if it isn't caused by an underlying health issue.
>> No. 33604 Anonymous
3rd October 2022
Monday 12:15 pm
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>>33603
No it's not, you're wrong. And before you say owt, I'm 5 foot 11 inches tall and 10 stone.
>> No. 33605 Anonymous
3rd October 2022
Monday 12:39 pm
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>>33603

Fat girls can be pretty, it's not out of the realms of possibility. But they appear to have intentionally made that picture a caricature of an ugly pig nosed porker.

I blame hipsters for everything. They destroyed culture. Nowadays, anything that's wrong is the new right. Ugly is the new attractive, to be force fed to you in woke Amazon shows and forecast shipping videogames. Empty contrarianism as the basis of a value system.
>> No. 33606 Anonymous
3rd October 2022
Monday 1:17 pm
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>>33604
Why are you obese?
>> No. 33607 Anonymous
3rd October 2022
Monday 1:49 pm
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>>33606
Everyone you walk by on the street thinks you're a creep.
>> No. 33608 Anonymous
3rd October 2022
Monday 2:49 pm
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>>33603

>if it isn't caused by an underlying health issue.

We've already been here several times, but it's unfathomable to me that people get this far with this idea but refuse consider whether a lack of discipline that's serious enough to endanger your life and change your body might possibly be an underlying health issue.

Fat people need therapy not diets.
>> No. 33609 Anonymous
3rd October 2022
Monday 3:01 pm
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>>33605

I guess it depends on your definition of pretty.

There's a fine line between not being skin and bones and having just too much weight on your hips.


>I blame hipsters for everything. They destroyed culture.

Quite, but I don't see that they had much bearing on fat acceptance.

>Ugly is the new attractive, to be force fed to you in woke Amazon shows and forecast shipping videogames.

Not to me, it isn't. I refuse to have that wool pulled over my eyes. I reserve the right to find a lass unattractive because she weighs too much, and not be shamed or cancelled for it.

There's also a double standard between genders here. It's ok for women to be obese, and any lad who turns a lass down because she's a porker is a shallow patriachical arsehole. But when was the last time you heard somebody say that fat lads deserve to be with hot women too. Right, so there's more pressure on women in our society to conform to beauty ideals. That's a given, and that's not a good thing. But it can't mean that only women get to have their cake and eat it. see what I did there
>> No. 33610 Anonymous
3rd October 2022
Monday 3:19 pm
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>>33607
It was a genuine question. I stated that obesity was either caused by a lack of discipline OR an underlying health issue. The lad seems to think that there's some third way I've not considered in which case I'd like to hear him out.
>> No. 33611 Anonymous
3rd October 2022
Monday 3:41 pm
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>>33610
You seem remarkably troubled by other peoples' obesity. What's it to you?
If it's the load it puts on are NHS, your ire might (or might not) be better spent railing against the funding fuckwitteries we're seeing, which even if everyone was optimal weight would still see it fucked into the ground in a generation.
If you just want someone to hate, fair enough, I guess. There have always been, and will always be, fatties, You'll be fine.
It just seems like a lot of effort to keep railing, and isn't going to change anything.
>> No. 33612 Anonymous
3rd October 2022
Monday 3:49 pm
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>>33611
Also, I meet fatties with massive discipline in other fields, they just don't care (as much as you do) about their weight. It's not stopping them doing anything.
Obviously doesn't apply to 500kg+, but the 'obese' are fully functional human beings with a bit more lard than is advisable for long term health. Don't like them? Don't fuck them.
>> No. 33613 Anonymous
3rd October 2022
Monday 4:00 pm
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>>33612
I did mean actually proper ham planets and not what the flawed BMI considers to be obese. If you're not putting extra strain on the NHS (which if you're a couple of kilos into the red, you're probably not) then you're alright by me.

Obviously fat birds have more of a risk of adverse health the larger they get though with very little margin for error but that's a whole different topic in and of itself.
>> No. 33614 Anonymous
3rd October 2022
Monday 4:23 pm
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>>33605

Nobody looks good from that angle.

>>33606

Every time I fuck your mum she makes me a sandwich.

>>33609

>I reserve the right to find a lass unattractive because she weighs too much, and not be shamed or cancelled for it.

You have that right, just as you have the right to believe that Coldplay are the best band ever. Your broader argument is conflating two completely separate phenomena. The nth-wave fisherpersons advocating for fat acceptance would be the first to condemn the Third Tit Admirer community as being a bunch of misogynist brutes who just want to create a new unattainable beauty standard to subjugate women with.

The internet has disintermediated lechery. Twenty years ago, the mainstream media decided who it was OK to fancy and presented us with a narrow range of images to perv over. The internet cut out that middleman and presented us with an infinite range of choices in a judgement-free environment. In that environment, a lot of blokes realised that actually prefer women with squishy bits.

That external judgement has always been present in how we view fat female bodies, best encapsulated by the old trope of "I'd shag her, but I wouldn't want my mates finding out". Not to get all Marxist about it, but consumer capitalism depends fundamentally on manipulating our desires. The ideal consumer is just as much a manufactured product as the things being sold to them; the foundation of consumer capitalism is dissatisfaction. We must be trained to desire things that do not satisfy us.
>> No. 33615 Anonymous
3rd October 2022
Monday 4:43 pm
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>>33614
>Every time I fuck your mum she makes me a sandwich.
Why are you so angry about being obese?
>> No. 33616 Anonymous
3rd October 2022
Monday 5:05 pm
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>>33615

I'm not angry with you son, I'm just disappointed. You've let yourself down, you've let your school down, but most importantly, I fucked your mum.
>> No. 33618 Anonymous
3rd October 2022
Monday 6:27 pm
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>>33616

Joke's on you mate. I've been farting in the margarine this whole time. Hope you've enjoyed all the fart sandwiches.
>> No. 33619 Anonymous
3rd October 2022
Monday 7:47 pm
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>>33614

Don't start appropriating solid Marxist principles to justify your degeneracy, VICElad.

You wouldn't like it if I kept trying to shove furry porn down your throat and insisting that it was everyone else who was judgemental and prudish for not liking it. Sometimes it is, in fact, you that's a sick fuck and you should keep it to yourself, for the sake of common decency.

I reject the notion that things have to be acceptable. They don't, and in fact, they shouldn't be. Lots of things are better when they're taboo. Maybe that's too much of a Lacanian, Freudian Zizek kind of perspective for you, but it's the truth.

Nothing is as offensive as the idea we should find fat fetishism acceptable. Their very appeal is in the fact you're not supposed to like them, and deep down, you know it.
>> No. 33620 Anonymous
3rd October 2022
Monday 8:44 pm
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>>33619

Most of the population is overweight or obese. Being sexually attracted to normal people is not a fetish.
>> No. 33621 Anonymous
3rd October 2022
Monday 8:52 pm
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>>33620

>Most of the population is overweight or obese

Still a matter of degree. Ten pounds too many isn't the same as being cast for Channel 4's next weight loss reality programme.
>> No. 33622 Anonymous
3rd October 2022
Monday 9:04 pm
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>>33619


>Don't start appropriating solid Marxist principles to justify your degeneracy

I'm struggling to understand what marxism has to do will all this in the first place.

Is he saying that there are more fat people in capitalism than in marxism?
>> No. 33623 Anonymous
3rd October 2022
Monday 9:27 pm
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>>33622

I'm saying that it is in the interests of consumer capitalism to create a perpetual sense of dissatisfaction. We are constantly sold and re-sold the idea that we are not good enough, that our lives are not good enough, that what we truly desire is perpetually just out of reach.

There can be no end to this process, because the economic system in which we live is completely dependent on miserable people spending money they don't have on stuff they don't need. In a consumer capitalist society in which most people are fat, it is necessary for us to be taught that fat is ugly; equally, in a consumer capitalist society in which most people are thin, it would be necessary for us to be taught that thin is ugly. We must be told that we are inadequate so that we may be sold something which promises to cure that inadequacy.

It is not a matter of "lowering your standards", but realising that your standards were imposed on you by people who spend billions of pounds a year on psychological manipulation in order to undermine your sense of self.
>> No. 33624 Anonymous
3rd October 2022
Monday 9:36 pm
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>>33623

You would normally have a point, but this website does not own a TV, almost certainly has an adblocker installed on every device they own, and is generally at best a very minimal participant in mainstream culture. I don't think you can really describe us as helpless consumerist zombies out of They Live.

The forces you are describing exist, but the fact remains that you're just a wrong 'un, lad.
>> No. 33625 Anonymous
4th October 2022
Tuesday 2:26 am
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>>33624

There is no escape from capitalist realism.




>> No. 33626 Anonymous
4th October 2022
Tuesday 10:00 am
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>>33625
>Being a fat cunt is alright because society made me do it.

n1m8
>> No. 33627 Anonymous
4th October 2022
Tuesday 11:29 am
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>>33625

Yes there is. You just don't want to admit there is because you obtain surplus enjoyment from the impression of helpless entrapment. Just like when a fat lass plants her suffocatingly massive arse cheeks directly on your face.

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