The wind's got up.

This is half the threads we have already? Isn't it? At this rate we'll just have one ".gs thread, for .gs things" and that'll be that.

>>430056

I thought we had to do it while not interacting with each other too but I'm breaking that rule already.

>>430056

This is really what /*/ makes the site anyway if you think about it.

Woke up a bit emotional so I've gotten high and trying to balance it out with a big cup of black coffee. Feeling better, considering therapy.

I'm usually not affected by deaths as I accept that's how the world works and I've always been a bit emotionally distant but just sometimes I'll hear about one that hits me. Strange feeling.

>>430061

Back at uni, a lad from one of my study groups died in a motorbike accident just minutes after we said goodbye after a class. The theory was that he got distracted while overtaking a car on a dual carriageway on his way home and failed to notice that there was a temporary maintenance barrier in the outer lane which he tried to swerve back into, where they were cutting back some trees and bushes along the carriageway. He hit the barrier head-on and was killed instantly.

I can't say we were friends, he was in my study group, but we never went and did things together. It really stayed with me for a long time though and was one of the most eerie things that I ever witnessed. How often does it happen that you talk to somebody who is only ten minutes away from death, and until that moment has as little of an idea as everybody else around him of his immediately impending doom.

>>430060
The coffee I bought a few days ago smells better than it tastes.

Hate, a desire to slash tires, anger.

>>430064
>a desire to slash tires
There's nothing wrong with acting constructively out of anger. Hell, at this point it's practically a good citizen's civic duty. My only advice would be to, if you can, avoid targeting someone who might dispose of the tyres through incineration, as that would be totally counterproductive.

We try and pretend that toast with marmite or whatever is nicer but nothing beats simple buttered toast when you're hungry.
This thread is going to turn into a low-budget Jenny Holzer exhibit.

>>430064

Make sure they're something like 20'' low-section tyres or some other exotic size that will be a nightmare to replace. People who drive cars with bog standard 195x55x16 wheels a) haven't got much money and therefore aren't worth your aggression, and b) those tyres can be replaced practically for a song.

>>430061
Feeling exactly the same way today on learning that Black is gone.

>>430063
I get that. The other week I was using beans and grinding them fresh, didn't seem to smell as good but tasted a lot better.

>>430070
It has made me very sad tonight thinking she has gone. I only met her a few times, and she stayed at my house once, I really liked her. She spoke plenty on here at different times. Others here saw her much more and will also be feeling her loss in some way.

I really need to crack my back.

I want to go to a massage place but I'm concerned that I'll accidentally go to one of the ones that is really just about selling you a handjob. It's not that I don't want to be wanked off on a folding table, it's more that I assume in those sorts of places you just won't get a very good massage, and that's my primary focus. If there's a place that'll do a proper sports massage and then wank me off then that'd be fine.

>>430111
I know just the place for you.

https://www.wakefieldexpress.co.uk/news/man-s-massage-parlour-madness-1-936143/

>>430082
These ones don't taste too good neither in an espresso machine, nor in a moka, nor in a cezve.
Bugger.
And the seller had assured me the beans were of the strongest aroma/effect variety.

Bit too loud outside.
Didn't spoil my evening walk though.

>>430119
*n

>>430120
If something spoils my evening wanks, it dies. Full stop.
Also I'd like a cup of really strong black tea with milk. Not sure why, I don't usually drink tea with milk.

Another day has almost passed.

Humans spend way too much time eating and shitting. Sometimes I think that's all my life really is, a cycle of putting things in one of my holes and shitting it out the other, and occasionally putting things in that hole too, or part of my body in a lady's holes. Everything in between is just filler, the real events of life are food and big dumps.

I keep having really big dumps recently, even when I feel like I haven't eaten much. I feel like my arse has loosened over the years, and even when it only feels like a few little nuggets I'll look down afterwards and see a log bigger than my cock. I have a dildo the same size as my cock and it hurts like fuck to try get that up my arse. But a massive turd slips out effortlessly.

yes this is a literal shitpost, from the shitter

>>430151
>I have a dildo the same size as my cock
Lame.

>>430152

It's too girthy quite honestly. My favourite is the one that's a bit longer but more slender.

>>430122
> Also I'd like a cup of really strong black tea with milk
Those three mugs hit the spot.

Just pondering what I'll have to look forward to in the future, given the dire outlook of any meaningful action on climate change.

I wish green allied people and political parties weren't so stubbornly anti-nuclear. It's the only weapon we have right now that can maintain our society with low carbon energy, the other option being putting the brakes on capitalism and the endless consumption cycle. But that will never happen. ffs do we really need a new TV, phone, computer, car every few years? We've become hyper efficient at producing these things with a given amount of energy, but is producing these things the most efficient thing to do with our energy given the state of our society? (Fucking no it isn't).

>>430271

Just thinking about it the things I've bought in the past two decades haven't meaningfully improved my life. Go back 20 years to the dark and dingy times of 2001 where computers were slower and you had to phone or text people to keep up with communication trends, what a nightmare. Technilogy is great at facilitating the things that make life feel good - social interation, learning and exploration - but we reached a peak for that some time ago and have just been advancing into a weird hedonism since. The best times you can have are just old fashioned things spending time with other people and enjoying nature.

These petit pois I've bought from Sainsbury's aren't very petit.

>>430353

How pois are they?

>>430271

>ffs do we really need a new TV, phone, computer, car every few years?

The car really matters (~8 to 25 tonnes of CO2) but the TV (~150kg CO2) or phone (~60kg CO2) isn't really a big deal in the scheme of things. A new laptop has about the same carbon footprint as a leg of lamb.

Your carbon footprint is dominated by heating, eating and transport; everything else is basically insignificant. We need systematic changes to those things, but we also need to take personal responsibility.

>>430355
>A new laptop has about the same carbon footprint as a leg of lamb.
I guess a new laptop every week would be fine.

>>430356

No, but a leg of lamb every three years is OK. I hope you like tofu.

>>430358

Sadly, synthetic or cultured meat isn't the answer if you want to have steak every other day:


https://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-47283162

>Cultured lab meat may make climate change worse

>Growing meat in the laboratory may do more damage to the climate in the long run than meat from cattle, say scientists.

>Researchers are looking for alternatives to traditional meat because farming animals is helping to drive up global temperatures.

>However, meat grown in the lab may make matters worse in some circumstances.

>Researchers say it depends on how the energy to make the lab meat is produced.


So in other words, unless your synthetic meat was grown with solar or wind power, it solves no problems and we may as well just keep having a leg of lamb regularly.

>>430358
For some reason most of the emissions charts I can find lump beef and lamb together.

>>430358
From my cold, dead hands, m7.

>>430364

I know they serve chips in little metal buckets and sandwiches on slates these days, but eating tofu from a cold dead hand is really avant garde.

Someone in London has died after they started hitting the windscreen of a car with the butt of a shotgun and accidentally ended up shooting themselves. Funniest thing I've heard in a while.

>>430371
Someone desperately wanted to enter the Darwin Awards promotional vehicle it seems.
That person succeeded.

They're remaking Face/Off. They need to fuck the fuck off.

>>430380

Second rate action flick when it first came out. No need to revisit that kind of plot or premise.

>>43038
Since I really struggle to tell who's who in films unless they reliably wear the same clothes, Face/off was doubly shit for me. Hard to see how a re/make will add much (unless they do something cunning like break down speciesist barriers, grafting a rhino's face onto a giraffe, in which case I could probably follow the plot).

>>430380
Oh great, which two actors will it be a vehicle for this time?

>>430388
That hasn't been announced yet, but it's the writing duo behind the upcoming Sonic the Hedgehog film.

>>430388

Jaoquin Phoenix and Cara Delevingne. Calling it.

When I see ads asking me to become a sperm donor it makes me think about it for a few seconds. It wouldn't be too much of a weight on my mind to donate but, with the way the law works, I'd probably have some strange teenager come knocking on my door in 19 years. Imagine how many awkward conversation you could end up having to have.

I hope they give donors some information on their spunk. Something like "this is a nice healthy load you deposited" or "you just knocked up half of Kent!" That would be a nice text to receive on a Monday afternoon.

>>430388
If Cage isn't in it then what's the point?

>>430397
I am the child of a sperm donor. I was born before 2000, so I believe the way it works is different now, but I cannot find out who my daddy is. All I know is his height, year of birth, eye/hair colour, and how many other children he has fathered (16).

>>430405
>All I know is his height, year of birth, eye/hair colour, and how many other children he has fathered (16).
Sounds like a right wanker.

I'm sorry, mate. I couldn't resist.

>>430405
>Amendments to The Human Fertilisation & Act (HFE Act) were introduced from 1st April 2005. These amendments removed donor anonymity; this means that children born from sperm donation can access identifying information about their donor once they reach 18.
>Knowing about their genetic heritage helps people understand who they are. This is why we ask you to give information about your family and medical history and to write something about yourself that a donor-conceived person can read when they reach 18.
https://www.londonspermbank.com/donor/faqs/

Apparently you have to "abstain" 3-5 days before every donation over 4-6 months. I imagine the clinic must get busy on a Friday afternoon.

>>430408
Why, is Tuesday your busy day?

>>430408

I think that's really a two-edged sword. On the one hand, it's understandable that a donor's child wants to know who they came from. But on the other hand, it can be quite disruptive, I would imagine. That child grew up with parents who couldn't conceive children of their own, but who for all intents snd purposes were that child's real parents. The sperm donor's role consisted of nothing more than letting them use his spunk. And against the child's right to know where they came from, you then have to weigh the donor's right to privacy, because the donor could reasonably expect that his active role would end the moment he'd rub one out into a receptacle.

>>430418
How is the kid ever going to know about the sperm bank, much less the donor, unless the bloody parents told it in the first place.

This adverts keep putting me off now. It's like I'm being henpecked by a woman I don't even know.
>You could be a very attractive man, Clive. You just need to change your wardrobe, earn more money and take up salsa dancing.

>>430414
Weekends are a no-go but equally you will probably want a weekday to see the Mrs to save things going stale. That leaves you with awkwardly having to do something from Tuesday night to Wednesday morning.

>>430440

>How is the kid ever going to know about the sperm bank, much less the donor, unless the bloody parents told it in the first place.

If you look nothing like your parents or any of your close relatives, wouldn't you become suspicious?

One of my female friends at uni didn't come from a donor, but she was the only child of her parents, and they had lived together childless for over ten years before she was conceived. She looked nothing like her dad, or anybody in her dad's family. They were all tall and dark haired, and she was a bit on the short side with reddish blond hair. To make matters worse, her mum was also somewhat taller and all of her relatives were dark haired as well. There were photos of her birth, according to which she realistically couldn't have been adopted, but her suspicion was that one of the people from her village at home, who apparently looked a lot like her, was her real dad. She told me it was a nagging thought whenever she looked at her (supposed) dad, and which prevented her from ever being very close to him.

>>430451
Was she a hairy baby?

Childofadonorlad here. I'll address the points made in more detail tomorrow, but an interesting point is that if people want you to look like your family, you will. As in, people are willing to ignore differencs and highlight similarities because they believe you are related. I had it happen to me several times as a wee'an.

>>430458

One doesn't know what you mean.

>>430451
my red hair seemingly skips over generations
my uncle has it and so did my great uncle
all parents with dark hair i believe

(A good day to you Sir!)

>>430458
I always assumed that I looked more like my mum and my brother looked more like my dad, which was quite commonly agreed upon by my immediate family. That was until my estranged cousin on my mother's side got in touch and she looks like my brother in a wig. I'm fairly certain my dad hasn't fucked his sister-in-law.

>>430475

I know that I came from my dad because although he died young, the older I get, the more I look like him. My mun keeps telling me I've even got a lot of his mannerisms, which I couldn't really have picked up from him when he was still alive. All of his old suits also fit me perfectly. Another indication is that an oil painting exists of my great-great-great-(?)granddad, and it, too, bears an undeniable resemblance to the way I look now in adulthood.

I look strikingly unlike anybody in my mum's family though. They were all pudgy looking peasants with puffy cheeks, while I inherited my dad's tall and slim frame and his oval face with the high cheekbones. So the question would actually be if I came from my mum, but there are about a dozen photographs from my birth that prove it.

This is some CKII Zoroastrian shit ITT.

>>430408
Fair enough. I'm not even sure if I would want to meet the guy by this point.


>>430440
>>430418
Well, this has been a whole thing. My parents never explicitly told me I was the child of a donor, but I figured it out eventually. I am a bit of a spergic cunt with no idea how to act normally, and it was somewhat exaggerated during my teen years; it really shit my dad up that I went ahead and requested the info without consulting him, but I felt like it was my right to know. Family has never been even remotely important to me, but I feel it could be catastrophic in families with a strong bond.

>>430451
As I said yesterday, you don't have to look that similar to look similar enough.



Genetics is a complex thing, though. I don't really think I look like anyone on my mum's side, but my grandfather died in 1985, and both my grandmother and grandfather's individual parents (I'm not sure how to word this without it sounding like they shared parents; they did not) died when they were young, so there are few, if any pictures of any of my direct male lineage.

>>430490

>I am a bit of a spergic cunt with no idea how to act normally


With future designer babies, that shouldn't happen anymore.

>>430493
Thank fuck. The world doesn't need any more wastes of resources like me.

>>430494

That's the spirit.

If I let go of my anger I'd probably dissipate into a foul smelling viscous liquid, but holding onto it I'm like a fucked washing machine, all smashed to shite by its own motive force.

It's darker this morning than it was last night.

Do I see lots of Wensleydale cheese in the shops because it's popular or because I live in Yorkshire? If I went west would I instead see Cheshire cheese and I if went to Wales would it be Caerphilly cheese?

>>432102
Is there any cheese that comes from the South?

>>432103
Cheddar. If shops around here only stock three cheeses then it tends to be Cheddar, Wensleydale and Red Leicester.

Am I meant to capitalise my cheeses?

>>432102

Wensleydale is always available in shops here up north, though usually only one type. I see Red Leicester just as much. I don't think there is a North East cheese though so maybe that's why.

>>432106
CHEESE.

>>432107

>>432106

I really enjoy Red Leicester, I think of it as much better than, say, Cheddar on a sandwich.

>>432129
I'd say it depends on the quality of the cheese. I'd take ordinary Cheddar over ordinary Red Leicester, but I'd opt for the latter if it's aged.

Just heard from an old friend that one of my exes is expecting. And she's now got her wedding planned for next spring, apparently.

I feel funny about this news in a way that I shouldn't. Especially because I could never see myself marrying her and having kids with her anyway.

My brother has asked what I want from duty free, as he's buggering off to the east for a week. On an airplane, you see. I want to ask for a nice aftershave, but I'm terribly out of touch with all that. I'm afraid whatever I ask for will make me sound like a twat, and smell like a 15 year old trying to get his end away.

>>432263
>I'm terribly out of touch with all that. I'm afraid whatever I ask for will make me sound like a twat, and smell like a 15 year old trying to get his end away.

What often gets overlooked is that a lot of women actually like the smell of things like Lynx. If it smells nice it smells nice.

I use Joop Go, purely because you can get it cheaply.

https://www.fragrancedirect.co.uk/joop-go-eau-de-toilette-spray-100ml-0009287.html

>>432263
Tell him to pick up a bottle of carbon sequestration to balance out the emissions of the flight.

>>432265
He's already offset his own footprint from the flight by getting his kids to cycle up the shop for him.

>>432264

I'm nearly 40 and I still don't know why using Lynx is supposed to be a bad thing or what I'm actually supposed to put under my arms instead. I'm currently using some Nivea For Men gubbins even though my mum always told me that antiperspirants were bad for you because I want to avoid the "Lynx Stigma".

>>432265

Not sure it'll make much of a difference.

>>432274

Lynx is what teenage boys cover themselves in, so it's associated with immaturity, being overused, and probably also just covering up the fact you couldn't be arsed to shower. Lynx actually smells fine though, obviously. Though I'm not sure I could get a whiff of Africa without being reminded of the changing rooms at middle school.

I have an Olbas inhaler. Life is good again.

>>432274

Separate to what >>432277 says,
>my mum always told me that antiperspirants were bad for you
https://www.webmd.com/breast-cancer/features/antiperspirant-facts-safety#1

>>432279

I think there's a reasonable compromise to be made in using roll ons or sticks instead of aerosols. There's no evidence that the aluminium compounds in antiperspirants can be absorbed through the skin, but why would you want to inhale any of it at all when a perfectly good alternative exists.
Probably a little better for the environment than aerosols too.

Is it just me or does girlfriend/boyfriend have stronger meaning than it used to? I feel like back in my day it merely denoted exclusively dating but I get the impression it is something much more long-term today. Maybe it's not the world that's changed but I've just gotten older.

I feel sorry for the alien archaeologists who are going to sift through our ruins one day and try to make sense of all this.

>>432303
There seems to be an increase in the number of people in long-term relationships who have no interest in getting married, anecdotally at least.

>>432304

On the other hand, I seem to notice a trend of people getting married in a quite small cermony without a wedding party. A couple I know got married in a tiny chapel by the sea, and only their close relatives and best friends were present for it. That was their whole wedding. And inspired by this, another couple I know are thinking about doing the same kind of thing for their wedding.

>>432309
There can be a lot of politics when it comes to weddings. I've known someone get ghosted by one of their closest friends for several years all because she didn't want children at her wedding.

>>432310

>I've known someone get ghosted by one of their closest friends for several years all because she didn't want children at her wedding.

To be honest, I don't think parents do themselves, or their children a favour by taking their sprogs to the wedding with them. When I think back to the weddings that I was made to go to when I was a weelad, I think it was for the most part fucking boring for the six- or eight-year-old me. Even if there were other kids to play with. And the weddings I've gone to in recent years, most kids there seemed to not really enjoy the whole affair either.

I can see how it's going to rub many people the wrong way if you tell them that they can come to the wedding but they can't bring their kids. But it's really not such a cunt move as it seems at first glance. Some thinking will have gone into it.

>>432311

Not sure I understand the mentality of the guests. I mean, by definition, as a guest you let the hosts have things their way. Especially if the event is their wedding day.

>>432311
At the last wedding I went to there were small children talking and whining during the ceremony itself and the speeches before the meal.

I'm not saying they should be banned, but most events would objectively be better off without them.

>>432313

Also, when parents get together with other parents, it's a pissing match on a good day. Especially with their kids in tow. Attending a function without their lifestyle accessories children and thus being less able to brag about them would do some parents some good.

>>432311
I'm a full grown adult and weddings bore the piss out of me. Have a party if you want to waste money celebrating your relationship, don't make me wear a suit and sit through hours of tedious rituals.

I'm not saying they should be banned, but most marriages would objectively be better off without them.

Is it just me or are KP peanuts soft? I've been eating spicy peanuts from the asian supermarket for a while and just bought some KP assuming they'd be the same without the spice but they're not. They have no bite to them.

>>432319

I've had good fun the last two or three weddings respectively, each time targeting one of the bride's perennially single friends who was feeling down that night because her friend was getting married and she was single with no hope of it changing in the near future.

Contrary to belief, they aren't always complete munters. One of them was really proper fit and we had a snog. Things went a little south when we then met a few days later and we realised we had next to nothing in common. But hey, as far as pity snogs, I could have done far worse that night.

It will soon be a year since I've had a fizzy drink.

>>432350
Champagne or sparkling mineral water can be very nice for the digestion. The hell with Coca-cola etc though.

>>432351
I dunno, nothing beats fat-coke when I have a hangover or a dodgy tummy.

>>432350
I was about to post about this separately, but would like to join in with your celebrations if that's okay.

It will be two years in January since I've had an alcoholic one. Whilst I do feel better health-wise, and I make a prat of myself far less, I do get bored a lot more though. Particularly around these times of festivity when all friends, family and colleagues are out getting arse-faced.

I wouldn't trade (almost) two years of sobriety for one night of debauchery, but I just want it out there that the temptation arises occasionally.

>>432303

I'm not sure, but I've noticed it too. A while back I met a lass who I really liked, so I said (in a somewhat less cringe-worthy way) that we should be girlfriend and boyfriend. What I meant was "let's be exclusive to each other", what she thought I meant was "start making plans for our wedding, looking for houses for us to buy, and making plans for me to be a stay at home dad so you can continue your career where you earn literally one tenth of what I do".

Maybe it was because she was a fair bit younger, maybe it was because she was mental.

>>432395

I don't think I've ever asked a woman outright "Will you be my girlfriend". I've always hated that wording, so the times when it came to establishing just what exactly me and a lass were, my workaround would always be something like, "I guess that means we're together now", or "I wouldn't mind if we got a little deeper involved". That sort of thing. Maybe I'm just not romantic, but "Will you be my girlfriend" has always made me cringe.

>>432400
> Maybe I'm just not romantic, but "Will you be my girlfriend" has always made me cringe.

Quite. As I said, I didn't use those exact words but the general thrust of what I said was along the lines of we should no longer just be two people who shag but should be somewhat officially a couple, which is to say I might call her my girlfriend and vice versa.

Anyway, her interpretation of the whole thing was quite different to mine, which would have been fine in a romantic comedy but was fucking miserable in real life.

I've always maintained that the British don't really date, we just get sambuccad up to the point where it's obvious that we both want it (otherwise, why on else would we still both be there drinking however many hours later?).

>>432403
>why on else would we still both be there drinking however many hours later?)
Alcoholism?

>>432395

If she was a millennial or younger, I think it's sort of come to mean that by neccessity. I think me and my mates were of the last generation who lived the dream of moving out in our late teens/early 20s and spending a few years getting up to sitcom drunken mates antics; and even then we were late to the party and it cost us more than it should have. I feel as though the younger generation coming up today are consciously aware from the word go that in order to comfortably fly the nest, or gain any sort of real foothold in life, you've got to have found someone to split the bill with already.

Slowly but surely I think we'll end up like Japan, with young people who can't functionally court one another at all. Online dating is the first step towards it, for those of us who still have some sense of social liberty it's fine but you do notice a lot of people treat it like a job application. Give it another ten or twenty years and they'll be marrying the first person they move in with for the sake of ease and just not taking to each other until retirement.

>>432411
> If she was a millennial or younger

I've really lost track of what all these generations actually mean but she was born mid 90s so I'd say end of the millennials / first of the gen-z's border, I guess.

> I think me and my mates were of the last generation who lived the dream of moving out in our late teens/early 20s and spending a few years getting up to sitcom drunken mates antics; and even then we were late to the party and it cost us more than it should have.

Likewise. When I was 21 I could land a 4x minimum wage job and fuck off the hell far away from home, split a stupidly (relatively for the time, the same place would cost maybe three or four times that today) expensive flat with some mates and basically live a 24/7 party during my early twenties.

(Obviously none of this was particularly intelligent, if I'd taken the stupid amount of rent I was paying and even half the money I spent on alcohol and retarded clubs every week and thrown it in a savings account..... but then I wouldn't have the stories, right?).

> consciously aware from the word go that in order to comfortably fly the nest, or gain any sort of real foothold in life, you've got to have found someone to split the bill with already.

I feel you could be right about that. She was always on about how she wasn't going to leave home until she got married, and harping on about how she felt she hadn't achieved anything because everyone she went to school with had either got married or had a kid (as if being a single parent is somehow desirable). Maybe I was just the mad bint's meal ticket.

Sigh and sage. It's too early to think about this kind of thing. I need a drink.

>>432411

>but you do notice a lot of people treat it like a job application

Sadly, I think we're now seeing this as a standard. Because just like an HR person at a company, you get to choose between about two or three dozen, well, applicants, and you are only going to have a limited time to concern yourself with each one of them. And being spoiled for choice that way IMO also means that you are less willing to let something run its course and get to know the person better while not being put off by annoying quirks they may have and that are apparent from the beginning. Why invest all that time, when you can just as easily move on to the next person. But I maintain that it's merely an illusion of choice, and that it gets you no further in finding the right person for you than in the old days.

I remember a time when online dating consisted of putting an ad on some local events web site in your area, and then you would wait impatiently for three or four people to e-mail you. And the odds were against you in the first place if you were a lad writing to a lass with a very attractive photo of herself. Even that was kind of radical in the late 90s to early 2000s, because growing up, when I was a weelad, putting an ad in an actual paper looking for a partner always had kind of a connotation of desperation attached to it. You had exhausted all the ways of finding a partner within your social circles, or you were just too ugly or too messed up in the first place to find somebody among them, so that was your last straw. Kind of funny how that has changed. But like I said, it needs to be taken with a grain of salt, and finding Mr. or Ms. Right to me seems no easier than back then. Just the parameters of it have changed.

Could I tap into the internet myself? As in, not being reliant upon an ISP and getting internet straight from the source?

>>432747
Yes - you could rent a rack and buy bandwidth in a DC and be your own ISP.

>>432748
Can you explain that to me like I'm an idiot please?

>>432748

Do you have to do that? Why can't you just put one in your house? Where does the datacentre get their Internet from?

>>432749

A DC (Data Centre) is a facility designed specifically to host server and networking equipment. They typically charge a monthly co-location fee, for which they provide electrical power, a high-speed network connection and space in a rack for your equipment. The websites you visit are hosted on servers sitting in data centre racks; the network connections between these data centres and internet service providers are what makes the internet work.

>>432750

The data centre usually has a dedicated high-speed fibre connection to the nearest internet exchange point. The exchange point is a data centre full of switching and routing gear, used by ISPs and other companies with very high bandwidth needs to connect their networks together. These inter-network arrangements are negotiated between companies; larger networks tend to operate mutual peering at no charge, but this isn't universal, especially if there is a significant asymmetry in the direction of the traffic or the market power of the two operators. Internet exchanges are themselves linked together through peering agreements with other internet exchanges.

I just beat my best 5K time.

Sub 22 minutes by about a quarter of a minute. Very proud of myself and yes this is a humble-brag.

>>432763
That's not a humblebrag though.

>>432764
Also I think I was sped up and enthused having realised how big my cock is immediately beforehand.

>>432765
It's a strange realisation to come to before going on a long run; what made you believe this? I mean, I like running in Lycra as much as the next man but..

>>432769

I think you've identified the reason. I don't even have a massive cock, but I'm forced to confront the entire mass of my genitals every time I put my cycling shorts on.

Lonely. Well, actually, full because i've just stuffed a donner wrap and 4 marmite & peanut butter into my face hole. It'll fill the void for another night.

>>432765
>>432770

Well I do have a massive cock, and this bird I used to shag and occasionally still text made a reference to it earlier today. It happens occasionally when we're having a bit of a flirt, and it genuinely makes me feel like the king of all space and time.

I feel sorry for blokes with small cocks, I bet it would eliminate all need for antidepressants or therapy if we could just give sad blokes a seven incher.

>>432874
> I feel sorry for blokes with small cocks, I bet it would eliminate all need for antidepressants or therapy if we could just give sad blokes a seven incher.

I feel personally attacked and need a safe space.

>>432874
>I feel sorry for blokes with small cocks

I feel sorry for you, if that's the best you can say about yourself.

>>432880

I'll freely admit the rest of my life is incredibly mundane, and the size of my bank account certainly won't be impressing any ladies. If that makes you feel better then be my guest, honestly.

But I've got a massive cock.

>>432881

I have the delicate and nimble hands of a watchmaker.

>>432881

I've got a regular normal cock and I still shag women and they seem to like it, so you're not really gaining anything.

>>432888
> and I still shag women
IYKWIM

>>432882
Asmongold's looking well.

Withdrawals are a cunt.

Do animals have periods? I know a lot of pets get spayed but I can't ever remember my mates saying their dog/cat was on the rag and I can't recall my rabbits or mice being a bit jammy down there when I was younger.

>>433094
Our lab used to drip a watery iron-smelling blood around the house, so yeah dogs have periods. Thank god we had hard floors back then, all it took to clean up was a little mop with your sock. I assume it's the case with all mammals.

>>433095
If took me far longer than it should have to realise you weren't on about a leaky laboratory.

>>433095
>all it took to clean up was a little mop with your sock

Socks really are the unsung heroes of .gs.

I awoke this morning incredibly relieved, as I dreamt I was chucked in a cell for standing at the docks with a placard that said "LESBIANS IN!"

I wonder what Freud would've said about that, and whether he'd agree with me that this sort of inclusive behaviour should not be punished.

Is it possible to tell whether someone is fat just from their voice? There's someone I speak to fairly regularly on the phone and she just sounds like a fat person.

>>433777
Yes.

>>433778
I've found a picture of her online. She is indeed fat; got a right moon face.

>>433779

Who is this moon-faced angel of which you speak? Do you think she'd like a good arse-pissing?

>>433780
There's two types of women in this world; those who love a good arse pissing and those who haven't tried it yet.

>>433777

>Is it possible to tell whether someone is fat just from their voice?

There have been studies conducted on men:

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/7488442_Relationships_between_vocal_characteristics_and_body_size_and_shape_in_human_males_An_evolutionary_explanation_for_a_deep_male_voice

>The current correlational study investigated the relationship between vocal measures (fundamental and formant frequencies) and both body size and shape. Vocal samples and physical measures were obtained from 50 heterosexual male volunteers. A significant negative relationship was found between fundamental frequency and measures of body shape and weight.


So do fat poofs have a higher voice then?

>>433792
Yes.

I don't think it's said enough: Christina Ricci in Sleepy Hollow would seriously get it.

>>433842

Quite. One of my favourite wank fantasies back in the day.

>>433852
> back in the day.
Fuck off carpet-bagger.

>>433853

Christina Ricci was born in 1980, which made her 19 years old when Sleepy Hollow was made.

Fuck off yourself.

>>433855

Also though, I probably had the biggest of all stonk ons for Mena Suvari, all the way into the early 2000s. I was obsessed with her, and didn't miss a single one of her - mostly quite mediocre - movies. Everything about her was just the ideal woman to me.

Middle age has not been kind to that face though. At barely 41 years old, she looks way older than that.

>>433842
She still looks like she was grown in a vat in this photo.

>>433856
If we're playing a lovely girls competition then I submit Lizzy Caplan for consideration. Something I've always been mad about is how the classic Gen X girl was always too old for me growing up and by the time it comes around again I'll be too old.

Where is my Jane Lane, lads? My Louise Wener?

>>433892
She kind of looks like how Alison Brie should look now, rather than morphing into Andy from Cbeebies.

>>433893

I say this in the kindest possible fashion, but you're a fucking idiot. She's specifically styled to look more homely and less attractive in GLOW.

>>433907

Have at look at her Instagram, she doesn't look as good as she used to. Don't get me wrong, she's still fifteen thousand times fitter than I am but I also don't fancy her in quite the same way I used to. I think she's just a bit too skinny now, her face looked better a bit more filled out back in the Community/Mad Men days.

Enthusiastic sage for a post dedicated to judging the attractiveness of a famous woman.

Is most of the pleasure of food derived from chewing it or swallowing it?

If I started giving food a chew and good suck before spitting it out instead of swallowing it would that be an effective dieting technique? Obviously I'd still eat a little of it to sate my appetite.

>>434642

Controversial, but I'd say most of the pleasure from food is gained from the anticipation of it.

>>434642

well is most pleasure from sex from the stimulation or the cumming? Sure you could tease, but if you never came at all it would become deeply fustrating, savour your food, but do eventually swallow.

>>434645

I can't subscribe to that idea, because I don't put much thought into what my food tastes like until I am actually eatting it unless I am very hungry. but I see the logic.

>>434645

I see your anticipation and raise you FLAYVAAAH.

>>434648

>well is most pleasure from sex from the stimulation or the cumming? Sure you could tease, but if you never came at all it would become deeply fustrating, savour your food, but do eventually swallow.

I've had a good few sessions where I was stoned/tripping and didn't want it to end at all, and we'd fuck for hours without cumming because that would bring it to an end. It's happened without the influence of drugs too, of course, but not to the same extent.

There's also the wonderful world or orgasm control and denial. Do you kean to say you've never tied a bird up and edged her relentlessly until she begs like a whore for crack? Some people haven't lived.

God I miss that ex sometimes. Shame she was also mental.

>>434648
> well is most pleasure from sex from the stimulation or the cumming?

All pleasure is in release from tension.

> but do eventually swallow.

I wish more birds followed these wise words.

>>434665

Stewart Lee used to be a bit of alright, huh?

>>434681

Not even when he was in The Smiths.

>>434696

Lad, Are Stew was kind of hot. He was just never funny. Or even half as intelligent as he thinks he is.

(A good day to you Sir!)

>>434701

Are Stew is one of the mods.

I like to have a bite out of a strawberry and then a bite out of a red grape. It's by far the best fruit combination out there.

What's the proper etiquette for online reviews? I've received a request for a review from a seller the day after it was despatched; how long am I meant to use it for to know how satisfied I am with it?

>>435414
There is no proper etiquette. If you're inclined to make that impatient fucker wait, make them wait.

>>435415
If people badger me for feedback, I'm sure to mention that in any feedback I do leave. Doubly so for reviews.

Have they changed Wotsits? They pack I had wasn't very puffy.

>>435655

They're running low on puff gas because of corona.

>>435655
Pretty sure squares have got thinner as well. Not nearly as crunchy as they used to be.

>>435668
If squares got thinner they'd be rectangles.

>>435669

They should really be called cuboids, not squares as a line has no thickness in geometry innit.

At what point does branded cheese become superior to supermarket own brand cheese?

I quite like supermarket own brand extra mature cheddar. It's nicer than the likes of Cathedral City and Wyke Farms cheese. Is branded cheese a con? If you want to beat supermarket own brand cheese do you need artisan cheese from a proper cheesemonger?

>>436019
Depends entirely on the brand and the supermarket.

>>436019

Cheese is pretty much cheese, it's the processes of making it that make the flavour, rather than the base ingredients, much like beer - there's only really the same four ingredients in most common beers, but clearly some are far better than others. The same is true of cheese. Price is really a function of how much of it you make, and as of any product, the more of it you want to sell, the less interesting it gets.

As far as branded cheese goes, the whole point is consistency. The idea is that every block of Cathedral City you ever buy will taste like the last block of Cathedral City, and they spend a lot of money on the processes to ensure that happens. Supermarket cheese is usually sourced from similar if not identical dairy farms and processors. Whichever farm makes Tesco Cheddar will look almost exactly like Wyke Farms does, and involve just as many experts.

Since supermarkets make, or at least source and sell, a lot of own brand products, it's not necessary that every single product makes a profit discreetly - it's just not that common for someone to go into a supermarket and buy exactly one block of cheddar and leave, and the entire store is designed so that doesn't happen. Cathedral City doesn't have the option to also flog you a tube of smarties for a quid on the way out, so their prices have to be higher, and Tesco can undercut them with their own brand to attract people in, and never lose, even if they lose 3p per cheese (they don't, it'll still make profit, just not much).

Cheese is also subjective, my favourite cheddar is almost certainly not the same as your favourite cheddar, and that's really down to taste rather than quality. Cheddar has no protected origin, so it's hard to really define what makes a 'good' cheddar at all. When we move towards less mainstream cheeses, you'll find a distinct lack of branding as most of it will be sourced from the few creameries that make it, or in many cases, are allowed to make it under PDO rules. Wensleydale, for example, is really only made in one facility now, albeit under the yoke of a very large dairy conglomerate.

Despite there being a few very small artisan cheesemakers, the majority of cheese, even specialist or artisan style, is still made in big dairy plants or huge 2000 acre farms. As cheese is really all about a biological process, doing it on a small, craftsman scale means that though perhaps you can get very good at making one sort of cheese, it can still be done exactly as well in a factory, just more reliably. So any real 'artisan' cheese will be in some way novel or quite divisive, something like Stinking Bishop being the most prominent example - but even then they're not exactly a small outfit.

In short, it's not a con, but it's not entirely unexpected that supermarket brand cheese might still be better. I will say that Morrisons has the absolute best cheese counter of any supermarket, even better than the middle class cunt cheesemongers found in places like Booths and Waitrose.

>>436022
>cheese experts
This is the kind of post i come to britfa.gs for. Thanks for taking the time, mate.

Actually I've just had Pilgrims Choice extra mature cheddar and that is nicer than supermarket own brand extra mature cheddar.

>>436125
I can also vouch for Pilgrims Choice, but I'm not shilling for Big Cheddar.

Duke's Barrel. The cheese for liars.

>>436136
Thanks, Pete.

I created the original "what you feeling right now?" /beat/ thread - that missing 'are' has bothered me for fucking years. Sorry, I had to say that, I think of it every time I see it.

>>436137

Thete.

>>436138
It's fine, we all just assumed you were black.

Corona has made me have a good think about my life.

I always wanted to travel, try some risky moves, do stuff, but I always got so close then put it off and chose the safe route. I'm in my mid 20s now, already feeling a bit old, but I'll definitely be using this time to travel and enjoy my life afterwards. Fuck careers, they can wait (and luckily I have some decent experience now anyway).

Do I want lasagne or ratatouille with gnocchi?

>>436141

Assuming I still have a job in September I'm going to be renegotiating some things. So far I've been on the "mostly stay at home because you're older with kids" travel plan. Next year I want to be on the "different country every month" travel plan.

I only found out yesterday that when you cum it's shot out of your prostate and through your urethra. I knew some of the fluid was created in your prostate but I always assumed it shot out your balls, through your vas deferens and then through the urethra.

>>436318

I knew this lockdown was starting to drag on, but I didn't realise that people had missed out on their entire secondary education already.

>>436321
I don't remember it being on the curriculum to cover precisely where in the body spunk is launched from. I just assumed with sayings such as getting your balls drained that this is where the spunk was stored until it's go time.

I'm looking forward to the chicken pineapple curry I will be having in a little bit. Homemade, from separate ingredients. Except for the curry powder seasoning. I was going to make the effort to buy the spices separately, but they had ready-made curry powder for under a quid at Asda, so I thought why bother.

>>436323

Well chuffed with myself, my chicken pineapple curry turned out really nice. I was out of basmati and had to use parboiled rice, and I also forgot to buy double cream and had to use a bit more coconut cream instead, but other than that, it's delicious.

>>436324
Oranges? Not too much juice/too little rice? Otherwise it looks like sick nice. Nah I'm only joking mate; I'm actually pretty chuffed today as I finally went swimming. My new dry bag works a treat - carried my clothes and towel on my back while wading through the sea. Probably walked about a mile, but only semi-submerged so only from my waist down got any excersise. I know everyone thinks it's okay to skip 'leg day' but i really don't need to focus on mine as much as today - they're my most toned muscles, everything else is flab. But yeah, I'd definitely appriciate a homecooked pineapple curry - sweet and sour/spicey are my favorite takaway flavours. Was it just a basic curry powder? Cumin, corriander, tumeric kind of thing?

I was also gonna call you a twat until I googled 'parboiled'.

>>436325

They're actually clementines. They tend to have a more delicate aroma than oranges, and they go well with the slight harshness of pineapple.

I was going to also put in some fresh mango, but the ones they had in the shop were a bit subpar and hard as bricks.

I like my curry with plenty of sauce, and parboiled rice, while somewhat bland in taste, is actually more nutritious than most other types of white rice.

>>436326
>clementines
>pineapple
Why did you add chicken to your rice pudding, you fucking savage?

SAGERU

>>436327

Feel good about yourself?

What's the most productive thing you've done all day?

>>436328


I processed about 85 schedule diverts today, but even if I hadn't done something objectively productive, I'd still feel comfortable judging you for eating a fucking Caprisun flavoured curry.

>>436330

>I'd still feel comfortable judging you for eating a fucking Caprisun flavoured curry.

Never change, .gs.

How screwed is the postal service at the minute? Something was sent to me on Saturday Royal Mail first class and there's no sign of it yet.

>>436328
Why are you booing him? He's right!

>>436338

What exactly do you find wrong with putting pineapple and clementine in a curry. There are clementine curries, and there sure as fuck are pineapple curries. What is so unimaginable about putting the two in the same curry dish.

>>436338

>>436339

Fruit does not belong in a curry. Not pineapple, not oranges and especially not fucking sultanas. The Sri Lankans are a bunch of soft southern ponces.

>>436341
Tomatoes?

>>436341

Is that you, cheflad? I would have expected more of you.


>sultanas

I would indeed draw the line at sultanas. That's just savagery.

Other than that, I actually like fruit based curry more than most other kinds.

>>436341
Lamb and banana curry is very much a Kashmiri thing, you fanny.

It's grim but that's beside the point.

Also, Sri Lankans basically just seem to spice the fuck out of everything. I went there on holiday with my parents once, and the food at the three-star hotel was divided between local cuisine and European cooking. Their local dishes mainly consisted of rice with overcooked chicken or meat, and an absolute fuckload of curry and chili pepper. Their take on things like steak with mashed potato and steamed vegetables, on the other hand, was pretty dreadful, and so basically you were stuck between food that was alright but so spicy that you literally had sweat beads forming on your forehead, and international dishes that were somewhat worse than your average NHS hospital cafeteria.

>>436342
Shots fired!

I'm starting to think the rumours about Peter Kay are true.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SxYRPH19YcE

>>436352
At least he's not dead.

>>436355
You say that, but that’s a very short clip and he’s dressed exactly the way I’d dress a dead body if I was trying to make out it was still alive.

>>436358
I totally get it. If I found out tomorrow I had some terrible/terminal disease, I wouldn't want the fuss of telling everyone and dealing with their emotions. I would keep it a secret, even from my own family.

>>436358

Also how I would dress and pose someone to make a deepfake look as realistic as possible.

Note also that they have simply reused the original Amarillo footage for his parts in it. He's dead as fuck.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B8UyndYt0oM


Robert Smith looks like a menopausal cleaningwoman on acid.

I've had a sweet potato as a jacket potato. The verdict is inconclusive.

Social fatigue and severe boredom. I need marijuana.

My psychiatrist is worse at answering texts than an unlicensed pill dealer and it's doing my nut in. I was supposed to have an appointment this morning that was cancelled due to lockdown and now the bastard hasn't answered me to even acknowledge the fact I need my prescriptions renewed or I'm going to turn into a nut cake again.

>>436513

My favourite part of a jacket potato is the skin and most (all?) varieties of sweet potato have skins that aren't very nice no matter how you cook them. Sweet potato french fries / wedges are pretty great though. I think I might buy an air fryer off Amazon and sit in my kitchen frying things until my pills run out and I end up spending half the night having a chat with it.

Sage.

>>436521
>air fryer
Don't bother, they don't make nice food.

I guess if you don't have a proper oven it might make sense.

>>436547

I wouldn't say they don't make nice food, they are nothing more than very small convection ovens, so cook things just fine - but like you say, there's little point in getting a very small oven if you already have a big one in your kitchen already.

There are a few ways you can improve your oven's ability to crisp things up, the simplest and most effective often being to chuck a couple of paving stones in there, but I realise that has nothing to do with frying.

Sadly there's no real way to substitute the effect submerging things in hot fat has on cooking them. I would never, never recommend anyone deep fried on a stove in a pan, just don't, and I'd struggle to even recommend buying a little table top fryer - they lack thermal mass and are incredibly impractical, you could never really make something as basic as fish and chips in it as you just couldn't fit both in. And even if air fryers really fried stuff, you'd have the same issue.