The wind's got up.

This is half the threads we have already? Isn't it? At this rate we'll just have one ".gs thread, for .gs things" and that'll be that.

>>430056

I thought we had to do it while not interacting with each other too but I'm breaking that rule already.

>>430056

This is really what /*/ makes the site anyway if you think about it.

Woke up a bit emotional so I've gotten high and trying to balance it out with a big cup of black coffee. Feeling better, considering therapy.

I'm usually not affected by deaths as I accept that's how the world works and I've always been a bit emotionally distant but just sometimes I'll hear about one that hits me. Strange feeling.

>>430061

Back at uni, a lad from one of my study groups died in a motorbike accident just minutes after we said goodbye after a class. The theory was that he got distracted while overtaking a car on a dual carriageway on his way home and failed to notice that there was a temporary maintenance barrier in the outer lane which he tried to swerve back into, where they were cutting back some trees and bushes along the carriageway. He hit the barrier head-on and was killed instantly.

I can't say we were friends, he was in my study group, but we never went and did things together. It really stayed with me for a long time though and was one of the most eerie things that I ever witnessed. How often does it happen that you talk to somebody who is only ten minutes away from death, and until that moment has as little of an idea as everybody else around him of his immediately impending doom.

>>430060
The coffee I bought a few days ago smells better than it tastes.

Hate, a desire to slash tires, anger.

>>430064
>a desire to slash tires
There's nothing wrong with acting constructively out of anger. Hell, at this point it's practically a good citizen's civic duty. My only advice would be to, if you can, avoid targeting someone who might dispose of the tyres through incineration, as that would be totally counterproductive.

We try and pretend that toast with marmite or whatever is nicer but nothing beats simple buttered toast when you're hungry.
This thread is going to turn into a low-budget Jenny Holzer exhibit.

>>430064

Make sure they're something like 20'' low-section tyres or some other exotic size that will be a nightmare to replace. People who drive cars with bog standard 195x55x16 wheels a) haven't got much money and therefore aren't worth your aggression, and b) those tyres can be replaced practically for a song.

>>430061
Feeling exactly the same way today on learning that Black is gone.

>>430063
I get that. The other week I was using beans and grinding them fresh, didn't seem to smell as good but tasted a lot better.

>>430070
It has made me very sad tonight thinking she has gone. I only met her a few times, and she stayed at my house once, I really liked her. She spoke plenty on here at different times. Others here saw her much more and will also be feeling her loss in some way.

I really need to crack my back.

I want to go to a massage place but I'm concerned that I'll accidentally go to one of the ones that is really just about selling you a handjob. It's not that I don't want to be wanked off on a folding table, it's more that I assume in those sorts of places you just won't get a very good massage, and that's my primary focus. If there's a place that'll do a proper sports massage and then wank me off then that'd be fine.

>>430111
I know just the place for you.

https://www.wakefieldexpress.co.uk/news/man-s-massage-parlour-madness-1-936143/

>>430082
These ones don't taste too good neither in an espresso machine, nor in a moka, nor in a cezve.
Bugger.
And the seller had assured me the beans were of the strongest aroma/effect variety.

Bit too loud outside.
Didn't spoil my evening walk though.

>>430119
*n

>>430120
If something spoils my evening wanks, it dies. Full stop.
Also I'd like a cup of really strong black tea with milk. Not sure why, I don't usually drink tea with milk.

Another day has almost passed.

Humans spend way too much time eating and shitting. Sometimes I think that's all my life really is, a cycle of putting things in one of my holes and shitting it out the other, and occasionally putting things in that hole too, or part of my body in a lady's holes. Everything in between is just filler, the real events of life are food and big dumps.

I keep having really big dumps recently, even when I feel like I haven't eaten much. I feel like my arse has loosened over the years, and even when it only feels like a few little nuggets I'll look down afterwards and see a log bigger than my cock. I have a dildo the same size as my cock and it hurts like fuck to try get that up my arse. But a massive turd slips out effortlessly.

yes this is a literal shitpost, from the shitter

>>430151
>I have a dildo the same size as my cock
Lame.

>>430152

It's too girthy quite honestly. My favourite is the one that's a bit longer but more slender.

>>430122
> Also I'd like a cup of really strong black tea with milk
Those three mugs hit the spot.

Just pondering what I'll have to look forward to in the future, given the dire outlook of any meaningful action on climate change.

I wish green allied people and political parties weren't so stubbornly anti-nuclear. It's the only weapon we have right now that can maintain our society with low carbon energy, the other option being putting the brakes on capitalism and the endless consumption cycle. But that will never happen. ffs do we really need a new TV, phone, computer, car every few years? We've become hyper efficient at producing these things with a given amount of energy, but is producing these things the most efficient thing to do with our energy given the state of our society? (Fucking no it isn't).

>>430271

Just thinking about it the things I've bought in the past two decades haven't meaningfully improved my life. Go back 20 years to the dark and dingy times of 2001 where computers were slower and you had to phone or text people to keep up with communication trends, what a nightmare. Technilogy is great at facilitating the things that make life feel good - social interation, learning and exploration - but we reached a peak for that some time ago and have just been advancing into a weird hedonism since. The best times you can have are just old fashioned things spending time with other people and enjoying nature.

These petit pois I've bought from Sainsbury's aren't very petit.

>>430353

How pois are they?

>>430271

>ffs do we really need a new TV, phone, computer, car every few years?

The car really matters (~8 to 25 tonnes of CO2) but the TV (~150kg CO2) or phone (~60kg CO2) isn't really a big deal in the scheme of things. A new laptop has about the same carbon footprint as a leg of lamb.

Your carbon footprint is dominated by heating, eating and transport; everything else is basically insignificant. We need systematic changes to those things, but we also need to take personal responsibility.

>>430355
>A new laptop has about the same carbon footprint as a leg of lamb.
I guess a new laptop every week would be fine.

>>430356

No, but a leg of lamb every three years is OK. I hope you like tofu.

>>430358

Sadly, synthetic or cultured meat isn't the answer if you want to have steak every other day:


https://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-47283162

>Cultured lab meat may make climate change worse

>Growing meat in the laboratory may do more damage to the climate in the long run than meat from cattle, say scientists.

>Researchers are looking for alternatives to traditional meat because farming animals is helping to drive up global temperatures.

>However, meat grown in the lab may make matters worse in some circumstances.

>Researchers say it depends on how the energy to make the lab meat is produced.


So in other words, unless your synthetic meat was grown with solar or wind power, it solves no problems and we may as well just keep having a leg of lamb regularly.

>>430358
For some reason most of the emissions charts I can find lump beef and lamb together.

>>430358
From my cold, dead hands, m7.

>>430364

I know they serve chips in little metal buckets and sandwiches on slates these days, but eating tofu from a cold dead hand is really avant garde.

Someone in London has died after they started hitting the windscreen of a car with the butt of a shotgun and accidentally ended up shooting themselves. Funniest thing I've heard in a while.

>>430371
Someone desperately wanted to enter the Darwin Awards promotional vehicle it seems.
That person succeeded.

They're remaking Face/Off. They need to fuck the fuck off.

>>430380

Second rate action flick when it first came out. No need to revisit that kind of plot or premise.

>>43038
Since I really struggle to tell who's who in films unless they reliably wear the same clothes, Face/off was doubly shit for me. Hard to see how a re/make will add much (unless they do something cunning like break down speciesist barriers, grafting a rhino's face onto a giraffe, in which case I could probably follow the plot).

>>430380
Oh great, which two actors will it be a vehicle for this time?

>>430388
That hasn't been announced yet, but it's the writing duo behind the upcoming Sonic the Hedgehog film.

>>430388

Jaoquin Phoenix and Cara Delevingne. Calling it.

When I see ads asking me to become a sperm donor it makes me think about it for a few seconds. It wouldn't be too much of a weight on my mind to donate but, with the way the law works, I'd probably have some strange teenager come knocking on my door in 19 years. Imagine how many awkward conversation you could end up having to have.

I hope they give donors some information on their spunk. Something like "this is a nice healthy load you deposited" or "you just knocked up half of Kent!" That would be a nice text to receive on a Monday afternoon.

>>430388
If Cage isn't in it then what's the point?

>>430397
I am the child of a sperm donor. I was born before 2000, so I believe the way it works is different now, but I cannot find out who my daddy is. All I know is his height, year of birth, eye/hair colour, and how many other children he has fathered (16).

>>430405
>All I know is his height, year of birth, eye/hair colour, and how many other children he has fathered (16).
Sounds like a right wanker.

I'm sorry, mate. I couldn't resist.

>>430405
>Amendments to The Human Fertilisation & Act (HFE Act) were introduced from 1st April 2005. These amendments removed donor anonymity; this means that children born from sperm donation can access identifying information about their donor once they reach 18.
>Knowing about their genetic heritage helps people understand who they are. This is why we ask you to give information about your family and medical history and to write something about yourself that a donor-conceived person can read when they reach 18.
https://www.londonspermbank.com/donor/faqs/

Apparently you have to "abstain" 3-5 days before every donation over 4-6 months. I imagine the clinic must get busy on a Friday afternoon.

>>430408
Why, is Tuesday your busy day?

>>430408

I think that's really a two-edged sword. On the one hand, it's understandable that a donor's child wants to know who they came from. But on the other hand, it can be quite disruptive, I would imagine. That child grew up with parents who couldn't conceive children of their own, but who for all intents snd purposes were that child's real parents. The sperm donor's role consisted of nothing more than letting them use his spunk. And against the child's right to know where they came from, you then have to weigh the donor's right to privacy, because the donor could reasonably expect that his active role would end the moment he'd rub one out into a receptacle.

>>430418
How is the kid ever going to know about the sperm bank, much less the donor, unless the bloody parents told it in the first place.

This adverts keep putting me off now. It's like I'm being henpecked by a woman I don't even know.
>You could be a very attractive man, Clive. You just need to change your wardrobe, earn more money and take up salsa dancing.

>>430414
Weekends are a no-go but equally you will probably want a weekday to see the Mrs to save things going stale. That leaves you with awkwardly having to do something from Tuesday night to Wednesday morning.

>>430440

>How is the kid ever going to know about the sperm bank, much less the donor, unless the bloody parents told it in the first place.

If you look nothing like your parents or any of your close relatives, wouldn't you become suspicious?

One of my female friends at uni didn't come from a donor, but she was the only child of her parents, and they had lived together childless for over ten years before she was conceived. She looked nothing like her dad, or anybody in her dad's family. They were all tall and dark haired, and she was a bit on the short side with reddish blond hair. To make matters worse, her mum was also somewhat taller and all of her relatives were dark haired as well. There were photos of her birth, according to which she realistically couldn't have been adopted, but her suspicion was that one of the people from her village at home, who apparently looked a lot like her, was her real dad. She told me it was a nagging thought whenever she looked at her (supposed) dad, and which prevented her from ever being very close to him.

>>430451
Was she a hairy baby?

Childofadonorlad here. I'll address the points made in more detail tomorrow, but an interesting point is that if people want you to look like your family, you will. As in, people are willing to ignore differencs and highlight similarities because they believe you are related. I had it happen to me several times as a wee'an.

>>430458

One doesn't know what you mean.

>>430451
my red hair seemingly skips over generations
my uncle has it and so did my great uncle
all parents with dark hair i believe

(A good day to you Sir!)

>>430458
I always assumed that I looked more like my mum and my brother looked more like my dad, which was quite commonly agreed upon by my immediate family. That was until my estranged cousin on my mother's side got in touch and she looks like my brother in a wig. I'm fairly certain my dad hasn't fucked his sister-in-law.

>>430475

I know that I came from my dad because although he died young, the older I get, the more I look like him. My mun keeps telling me I've even got a lot of his mannerisms, which I couldn't really have picked up from him when he was still alive. All of his old suits also fit me perfectly. Another indication is that an oil painting exists of my great-great-great-(?)granddad, and it, too, bears an undeniable resemblance to the way I look now in adulthood.

I look strikingly unlike anybody in my mum's family though. They were all pudgy looking peasants with puffy cheeks, while I inherited my dad's tall and slim frame and his oval face with the high cheekbones. So the question would actually be if I came from my mum, but there are about a dozen photographs from my birth that prove it.

This is some CKII Zoroastrian shit ITT.

>>430408
Fair enough. I'm not even sure if I would want to meet the guy by this point.


>>430440
>>430418
Well, this has been a whole thing. My parents never explicitly told me I was the child of a donor, but I figured it out eventually. I am a bit of a spergic cunt with no idea how to act normally, and it was somewhat exaggerated during my teen years; it really shit my dad up that I went ahead and requested the info without consulting him, but I felt like it was my right to know. Family has never been even remotely important to me, but I feel it could be catastrophic in families with a strong bond.

>>430451
As I said yesterday, you don't have to look that similar to look similar enough.



Genetics is a complex thing, though. I don't really think I look like anyone on my mum's side, but my grandfather died in 1985, and both my grandmother and grandfather's individual parents (I'm not sure how to word this without it sounding like they shared parents; they did not) died when they were young, so there are few, if any pictures of any of my direct male lineage.

>>430490

>I am a bit of a spergic cunt with no idea how to act normally


With future designer babies, that shouldn't happen anymore.

>>430493
Thank fuck. The world doesn't need any more wastes of resources like me.

>>430494

That's the spirit.

If I let go of my anger I'd probably dissipate into a foul smelling viscous liquid, but holding onto it I'm like a fucked washing machine, all smashed to shite by its own motive force.

It's darker this morning than it was last night.

Do I see lots of Wensleydale cheese in the shops because it's popular or because I live in Yorkshire? If I went west would I instead see Cheshire cheese and I if went to Wales would it be Caerphilly cheese?

>>432102
Is there any cheese that comes from the South?

>>432103
Cheddar. If shops around here only stock three cheeses then it tends to be Cheddar, Wensleydale and Red Leicester.

Am I meant to capitalise my cheeses?

>>432102

Wensleydale is always available in shops here up north, though usually only one type. I see Red Leicester just as much. I don't think there is a North East cheese though so maybe that's why.

>>432106
CHEESE.

>>432107

>>432106

I really enjoy Red Leicester, I think of it as much better than, say, Cheddar on a sandwich.

>>432129
I'd say it depends on the quality of the cheese. I'd take ordinary Cheddar over ordinary Red Leicester, but I'd opt for the latter if it's aged.

Just heard from an old friend that one of my exes is expecting. And she's now got her wedding planned for next spring, apparently.

I feel funny about this news in a way that I shouldn't. Especially because I could never see myself marrying her and having kids with her anyway.

My brother has asked what I want from duty free, as he's buggering off to the east for a week. On an airplane, you see. I want to ask for a nice aftershave, but I'm terribly out of touch with all that. I'm afraid whatever I ask for will make me sound like a twat, and smell like a 15 year old trying to get his end away.

>>432263
>I'm terribly out of touch with all that. I'm afraid whatever I ask for will make me sound like a twat, and smell like a 15 year old trying to get his end away.

What often gets overlooked is that a lot of women actually like the smell of things like Lynx. If it smells nice it smells nice.

I use Joop Go, purely because you can get it cheaply.

https://www.fragrancedirect.co.uk/joop-go-eau-de-toilette-spray-100ml-0009287.html

>>432263
Tell him to pick up a bottle of carbon sequestration to balance out the emissions of the flight.

>>432265
He's already offset his own footprint from the flight by getting his kids to cycle up the shop for him.

>>432264

I'm nearly 40 and I still don't know why using Lynx is supposed to be a bad thing or what I'm actually supposed to put under my arms instead. I'm currently using some Nivea For Men gubbins even though my mum always told me that antiperspirants were bad for you because I want to avoid the "Lynx Stigma".

>>432265

Not sure it'll make much of a difference.

>>432274

Lynx is what teenage boys cover themselves in, so it's associated with immaturity, being overused, and probably also just covering up the fact you couldn't be arsed to shower. Lynx actually smells fine though, obviously. Though I'm not sure I could get a whiff of Africa without being reminded of the changing rooms at middle school.

I have an Olbas inhaler. Life is good again.

>>432274

Separate to what >>432277 says,
>my mum always told me that antiperspirants were bad for you
https://www.webmd.com/breast-cancer/features/antiperspirant-facts-safety#1

>>432279

I think there's a reasonable compromise to be made in using roll ons or sticks instead of aerosols. There's no evidence that the aluminium compounds in antiperspirants can be absorbed through the skin, but why would you want to inhale any of it at all when a perfectly good alternative exists.
Probably a little better for the environment than aerosols too.

Is it just me or does girlfriend/boyfriend have stronger meaning than it used to? I feel like back in my day it merely denoted exclusively dating but I get the impression it is something much more long-term today. Maybe it's not the world that's changed but I've just gotten older.

I feel sorry for the alien archaeologists who are going to sift through our ruins one day and try to make sense of all this.

>>432303
There seems to be an increase in the number of people in long-term relationships who have no interest in getting married, anecdotally at least.

>>432304

On the other hand, I seem to notice a trend of people getting married in a quite small cermony without a wedding party. A couple I know got married in a tiny chapel by the sea, and only their close relatives and best friends were present for it. That was their whole wedding. And inspired by this, another couple I know are thinking about doing the same kind of thing for their wedding.

>>432309
There can be a lot of politics when it comes to weddings. I've known someone get ghosted by one of their closest friends for several years all because she didn't want children at her wedding.

>>432310

>I've known someone get ghosted by one of their closest friends for several years all because she didn't want children at her wedding.

To be honest, I don't think parents do themselves, or their children a favour by taking their sprogs to the wedding with them. When I think back to the weddings that I was made to go to when I was a weelad, I think it was for the most part fucking boring for the six- or eight-year-old me. Even if there were other kids to play with. And the weddings I've gone to in recent years, most kids there seemed to not really enjoy the whole affair either.

I can see how it's going to rub many people the wrong way if you tell them that they can come to the wedding but they can't bring their kids. But it's really not such a cunt move as it seems at first glance. Some thinking will have gone into it.

>>432311

Not sure I understand the mentality of the guests. I mean, by definition, as a guest you let the hosts have things their way. Especially if the event is their wedding day.

>>432311
At the last wedding I went to there were small children talking and whining during the ceremony itself and the speeches before the meal.

I'm not saying they should be banned, but most events would objectively be better off without them.

>>432313

Also, when parents get together with other parents, it's a pissing match on a good day. Especially with their kids in tow. Attending a function without their lifestyle accessories children and thus being less able to brag about them would do some parents some good.

>>432311
I'm a full grown adult and weddings bore the piss out of me. Have a party if you want to waste money celebrating your relationship, don't make me wear a suit and sit through hours of tedious rituals.

I'm not saying they should be banned, but most marriages would objectively be better off without them.

Is it just me or are KP peanuts soft? I've been eating spicy peanuts from the asian supermarket for a while and just bought some KP assuming they'd be the same without the spice but they're not. They have no bite to them.

>>432319

I've had good fun the last two or three weddings respectively, each time targeting one of the bride's perennially single friends who was feeling down that night because her friend was getting married and she was single with no hope of it changing in the near future.

Contrary to belief, they aren't always complete munters. One of them was really proper fit and we had a snog. Things went a little south when we then met a few days later and we realised we had next to nothing in common. But hey, as far as pity snogs, I could have done far worse that night.

It will soon be a year since I've had a fizzy drink.

>>432350
Champagne or sparkling mineral water can be very nice for the digestion. The hell with Coca-cola etc though.

>>432351
I dunno, nothing beats fat-coke when I have a hangover or a dodgy tummy.

>>432350
I was about to post about this separately, but would like to join in with your celebrations if that's okay.

It will be two years in January since I've had an alcoholic one. Whilst I do feel better health-wise, and I make a prat of myself far less, I do get bored a lot more though. Particularly around these times of festivity when all friends, family and colleagues are out getting arse-faced.

I wouldn't trade (almost) two years of sobriety for one night of debauchery, but I just want it out there that the temptation arises occasionally.

>>432303

I'm not sure, but I've noticed it too. A while back I met a lass who I really liked, so I said (in a somewhat less cringe-worthy way) that we should be girlfriend and boyfriend. What I meant was "let's be exclusive to each other", what she thought I meant was "start making plans for our wedding, looking for houses for us to buy, and making plans for me to be a stay at home dad so you can continue your career where you earn literally one tenth of what I do".

Maybe it was because she was a fair bit younger, maybe it was because she was mental.

>>432395

I don't think I've ever asked a woman outright "Will you be my girlfriend". I've always hated that wording, so the times when it came to establishing just what exactly me and a lass were, my workaround would always be something like, "I guess that means we're together now", or "I wouldn't mind if we got a little deeper involved". That sort of thing. Maybe I'm just not romantic, but "Will you be my girlfriend" has always made me cringe.

>>432400
> Maybe I'm just not romantic, but "Will you be my girlfriend" has always made me cringe.

Quite. As I said, I didn't use those exact words but the general thrust of what I said was along the lines of we should no longer just be two people who shag but should be somewhat officially a couple, which is to say I might call her my girlfriend and vice versa.

Anyway, her interpretation of the whole thing was quite different to mine, which would have been fine in a romantic comedy but was fucking miserable in real life.

I've always maintained that the British don't really date, we just get sambuccad up to the point where it's obvious that we both want it (otherwise, why on else would we still both be there drinking however many hours later?).

>>432403
>why on else would we still both be there drinking however many hours later?)
Alcoholism?

>>432395

If she was a millennial or younger, I think it's sort of come to mean that by neccessity. I think me and my mates were of the last generation who lived the dream of moving out in our late teens/early 20s and spending a few years getting up to sitcom drunken mates antics; and even then we were late to the party and it cost us more than it should have. I feel as though the younger generation coming up today are consciously aware from the word go that in order to comfortably fly the nest, or gain any sort of real foothold in life, you've got to have found someone to split the bill with already.

Slowly but surely I think we'll end up like Japan, with young people who can't functionally court one another at all. Online dating is the first step towards it, for those of us who still have some sense of social liberty it's fine but you do notice a lot of people treat it like a job application. Give it another ten or twenty years and they'll be marrying the first person they move in with for the sake of ease and just not taking to each other until retirement.

>>432411
> If she was a millennial or younger

I've really lost track of what all these generations actually mean but she was born mid 90s so I'd say end of the millennials / first of the gen-z's border, I guess.

> I think me and my mates were of the last generation who lived the dream of moving out in our late teens/early 20s and spending a few years getting up to sitcom drunken mates antics; and even then we were late to the party and it cost us more than it should have.

Likewise. When I was 21 I could land a 4x minimum wage job and fuck off the hell far away from home, split a stupidly (relatively for the time, the same place would cost maybe three or four times that today) expensive flat with some mates and basically live a 24/7 party during my early twenties.

(Obviously none of this was particularly intelligent, if I'd taken the stupid amount of rent I was paying and even half the money I spent on alcohol and retarded clubs every week and thrown it in a savings account..... but then I wouldn't have the stories, right?).

> consciously aware from the word go that in order to comfortably fly the nest, or gain any sort of real foothold in life, you've got to have found someone to split the bill with already.

I feel you could be right about that. She was always on about how she wasn't going to leave home until she got married, and harping on about how she felt she hadn't achieved anything because everyone she went to school with had either got married or had a kid (as if being a single parent is somehow desirable). Maybe I was just the mad bint's meal ticket.

Sigh and sage. It's too early to think about this kind of thing. I need a drink.

>>432411

>but you do notice a lot of people treat it like a job application

Sadly, I think we're now seeing this as a standard. Because just like an HR person at a company, you get to choose between about two or three dozen, well, applicants, and you are only going to have a limited time to concern yourself with each one of them. And being spoiled for choice that way IMO also means that you are less willing to let something run its course and get to know the person better while not being put off by annoying quirks they may have and that are apparent from the beginning. Why invest all that time, when you can just as easily move on to the next person. But I maintain that it's merely an illusion of choice, and that it gets you no further in finding the right person for you than in the old days.

I remember a time when online dating consisted of putting an ad on some local events web site in your area, and then you would wait impatiently for three or four people to e-mail you. And the odds were against you in the first place if you were a lad writing to a lass with a very attractive photo of herself. Even that was kind of radical in the late 90s to early 2000s, because growing up, when I was a weelad, putting an ad in an actual paper looking for a partner always had kind of a connotation of desperation attached to it. You had exhausted all the ways of finding a partner within your social circles, or you were just too ugly or too messed up in the first place to find somebody among them, so that was your last straw. Kind of funny how that has changed. But like I said, it needs to be taken with a grain of salt, and finding Mr. or Ms. Right to me seems no easier than back then. Just the parameters of it have changed.