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>> No. 448152 Anonymous
1st December 2021
Wednesday 12:02 am
448152 Christmas 2021
It's the first of December. It's that time of year again.

Open your advent calendar chocolates, listen to Andrew, put up your tree this weekend, put off the present shopping for at least a fortnight, surviving the Christmas party at work, watching shit on telly.

You know the drill by now, lads.
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>> No. 448563 Anonymous
26th December 2021
Sunday 11:40 am
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>>448562
If anyone, I'd rather Harry become King.
>> No. 448564 Anonymous
26th December 2021
Sunday 6:38 pm
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>>448563
After seeing that video of him trying to get the Disney boss to cast Meghan by basically going "please though", I think he's gone a bit off the rails.
>> No. 448566 Anonymous
26th December 2021
Sunday 8:00 pm
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I keep forgetting what day of the week it is and just now went to go do some shopping at the supermarket only to find it closed. Sunday trading laws are bullshit.

>>448559
>>448562
It's the doings of republicans and ear-fetishists.
>> No. 448567 Anonymous
26th December 2021
Sunday 10:14 pm
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I'm staying at my parents' house for Boxing Day. Most of the conversation had dried up within two hours so the rest of the day has largely been watching the TV in relative silence; I looked at a clock earlier convinced it was about half 10, but it wasn't even 6pm by that point. I'd also forgotten that my parents will boil almost any vegetable to death, so I had flavourless carrots and peas with unseasoned mashed potato and meat for my tea.

We watched the new James Bond film. Perhaps it's because the only other Daniel Craig Bond film I've seen is Casino Royale, so I wasn't invested in any of the characters, but I found it quite dull and hard to care about what was happening.
>> No. 448573 Anonymous
27th December 2021
Monday 1:03 pm
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My Christmas was weird. Didn't end up going to girlfriend's parents' house as I got panicky, so spent Christmas Day alone. My Christmas dinner was paprika crisps and kabanosi from the only shop open near me, washed down with a few Stellas. Boxing Day I didn't up going to my girlfriend's parents' again, so spent the day drinking and playing video games. Probably one of the better Christmases I've had.
>> No. 448575 Anonymous
27th December 2021
Monday 1:56 pm
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>>448573
That's quite a statement to your girlfriends parents.
>> No. 448576 Anonymous
27th December 2021
Monday 3:46 pm
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I didn't see a single lorry on the motorway today, which made the traffic flow so much better. They should make lorries drive at night instead or something.
>> No. 448577 Anonymous
27th December 2021
Monday 5:17 pm
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>>448576
I think a lot of them may be taking the day off after working on Christmas Day, which is apparently great for them because there's fuck all traffic. First BH after George Michael Day is always a nightmare, so seems like a good day to not be trying to drive 500 miles in 10 hours.
>> No. 448578 Anonymous
27th December 2021
Monday 5:39 pm
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Hotel Chocolat tastes like shit.
>> No. 448579 Anonymous
27th December 2021
Monday 5:40 pm
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>>448578
Heresy. The vegan stuff is great.
>> No. 448580 Anonymous
27th December 2021
Monday 6:08 pm
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>>448579
I've been given some of their chocolates for Christmas, stupid flavours like passion fruit or blackcurrant, and they are proper rank.
>> No. 448582 Anonymous
27th December 2021
Monday 8:07 pm
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According to my girlfriend its 'weird' that a 29 year old would shag the arse off Shirley Ballas.
>> No. 448583 Anonymous
27th December 2021
Monday 9:34 pm
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>>448582
Motsi Mabusi is sat right there, so I concur with your girlfriend.
>> No. 448584 Anonymous
27th December 2021
Monday 10:13 pm
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I'm convinced a massive pervert worked on series 11 of Taskmaster. In episode 5 there were two challenges that made me think this, firstly the self-bondage struggle and secondly the blind-person-rubs-mouth-on-objects-olympics. Now in episode 6 there has been a request for a painting using only one's feet and I'm left unsure if I want to continue. I feel like I'm watching people being groomed.
>> No. 448589 Anonymous
28th December 2021
Tuesday 5:03 am
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>>448582

Most of the good sex is weird.
>> No. 448590 Anonymous
28th December 2021
Tuesday 10:28 am
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Another Christmas at the in laws.
Another crafty wank over the Wife's Sister.
>> No. 448591 Anonymous
28th December 2021
Tuesday 11:35 am
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Just been to Aldi and they have absolutely shitloads of lebkuchen for <40p. Somehow I managed to resist, but I did pick up one of their Chocolonely bars to wind up autistlad.
>> No. 448592 Anonymous
28th December 2021
Tuesday 5:28 pm
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>>448590
I've been with my girlfriend since we were teenagers. I remember being at her mum's house once and there was a dirty wash basket in the kitchen ready to go in, with a pair of her younger sister's knickers right on the top. They are the gooiest pair of knickers I've ever seen in my life, I can still vividly recollect how slimy they were, and it took all of my willpower not to give them a surreptitious rub/sniff/lick.
>> No. 448593 Anonymous
28th December 2021
Tuesday 5:56 pm
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>>448590

Is it the British lad's curse to have a mild crush on the missus' sister?
>> No. 448594 Anonymous
28th December 2021
Tuesday 6:53 pm
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>>448592
What is the appeal of dirty knickers? I stayed at a platonic female friend's house, and saw some mucky knickers at the top of her laundry basket. I smelt it and it smelt like gone off sour cream. Vile. How do people get off to mucky panties?
>> No. 448595 Anonymous
28th December 2021
Tuesday 6:58 pm
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>>448594
Forbidden fruit. I used to work with a lass that was conventionally very attractive but did absolutely nothing for me. One day she came in without showering after a long bike ride. I lost count of the amount of times I walked past her desk to get a good whiff of her BO.
>> No. 448598 Anonymous
28th December 2021
Tuesday 7:49 pm
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>>448594
>What is the appeal of dirty knickers?
The trouble with clean knickers is that you don't know where they've been.
>> No. 448600 Anonymous
29th December 2021
Wednesday 12:42 am
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>>448595

I hate all types of someone else's body odour, but when a fit lass walks by, I sometimes take a deep breath of her and then in my mind I am already bonking her.

Not that anyone will ever know. Somebody watching me at that moment will barely even notice me breathing in.
>> No. 448601 Anonymous
29th December 2021
Wednesday 1:08 am
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>>448594
I dunno either. It's not even them being aroused, it's just effluent.
>> No. 448602 Anonymous
29th December 2021
Wednesday 2:32 am
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>>448594
Women smell good but it varies on what she's been doing and where she is on the menstrual cycle. There's some science to it. You absolutely can tell the difference between a woman who has been working out and the BO of someone who has sat on the couch all day.

Have you never buried your nose in a partners armpit or even giving her a bit of a lick?
>> No. 448603 Anonymous
29th December 2021
Wednesday 3:42 am
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I'm pretty sure I can smell when a lass is on her period, from several paces away, but I've never said it out loud because it just sounds psychopathic.
>> No. 448610 Anonymous
29th December 2021
Wednesday 3:19 pm
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>>448603

I'm pretty sure there's some legitimate-ish brain hormone chemistry stuff that makes you respond differently to a woman when she's on different phases of her cycle, but I'd be sceptical of anyone who claims to be able to consciously detect it.

When I had a girlfriend who was as much of a deviant furfag weirdo as me, we used to pretend that bit just after her period was when she's "in heat" and we had the most intense vigorous shags dirty taking each other about breeding and such. God it was hot.
>> No. 448612 Anonymous
29th December 2021
Wednesday 4:03 pm
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>>448610
You can't smell when a girl is on her period? You might have to think about the smell but I absolutely can pick up on the must of it. Useful for absolutely sod-all unless you're a salsa-dancer but it exists.

I also like to 'breed' a woman without getting furry about it. Although I've never found just after a period to be when horny week lands.
>> No. 448614 Anonymous
29th December 2021
Wednesday 7:02 pm
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>>448603
Period fannies are stinky. When my girlfriend goes to the toilet on her period, and I go in just after, a foul smell permeates the room. Worse than shit smell or piss smell.
>> No. 448615 Anonymous
29th December 2021
Wednesday 7:05 pm
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>>448614

The smell I'm talking about isn't that, it's just a gentle musk that emanates from them even if they're not firing jam out their snatch.

Unless your missus just needs medical attention. Hard one to bring up though.
>> No. 448621 Anonymous
29th December 2021
Wednesday 11:02 pm
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>>448615
I had a Swiss girlriend, her fanny smelt of flowers and she insisted on feeding me chocolate. I was 46, she was 23. Zu unserer ewigen Liebe <3
>> No. 448676 Anonymous
31st December 2021
Friday 7:24 pm
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I went to the panto today and now I really could do with shagging someone in a fairy costume.
>> No. 448701 Anonymous
31st December 2021
Friday 11:04 pm
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>>448676
Live your dreams!
>> No. 448733 Anonymous
2nd January 2022
Sunday 5:27 pm
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Can I take the decorations down now?
>> No. 448734 Anonymous
2nd January 2022
Sunday 5:30 pm
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>>448733
I've done the external stuff.
The tree can wait til tomorrow.
>> No. 448735 Anonymous
2nd January 2022
Sunday 8:22 pm
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>>448733
>>448734
Someone had discarded their Christmas tree outside there house, on my street. The sight of it is quite sad.
>> No. 448747 Anonymous
3rd January 2022
Monday 2:41 am
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>>448735
I think I might burn mine.
>> No. 448748 Anonymous
3rd January 2022
Monday 9:18 am
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>>448747

It's fresh wood it won't burn very well on its own. You'd need to leave it somewhere to dry for at least six months.
>> No. 448749 Anonymous
3rd January 2022
Monday 11:35 am
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>>448748

And then set his house on fire when all the needles catch? I wouldn't ladm8
>> No. 448751 Anonymous
3rd January 2022
Monday 12:24 pm
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>>448749

The tree would burn then, at least.
>> No. 448754 Anonymous
3rd January 2022
Monday 1:52 pm
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>>448748
What about a plastic one?
>> No. 448756 Anonymous
3rd January 2022
Monday 4:58 pm
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I've bought so much reduced party food today that I can't fit it all in my freezer.
>> No. 448770 Anonymous
4th January 2022
Tuesday 2:56 pm
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>>448756
You could invite us round for a party.
>> No. 448772 Anonymous
4th January 2022
Tuesday 3:39 pm
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>>448756
I bought a new freezer, it turns up Friday. Hoping the shops still have some left by then...
>> No. 448773 Anonymous
4th January 2022
Tuesday 3:42 pm
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>>448770
Depends how much you like vegan mini sausage rolls. 49p a pack in Lidl, same for their vegetable spring rolls.
>> No. 449291 Anonymous
28th January 2022
Friday 6:06 pm
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SOSSAGE ROLLS
>> No. 449292 Anonymous
28th January 2022
Friday 6:15 pm
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>>449291
Probably my favourite thing about emigrating when I did is that I have no fucking clue who this bloke is.
>> No. 449293 Anonymous
28th January 2022
Friday 6:56 pm
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>>449291
He was definitely a millionaire before he started making charity singles.
>> No. 449294 Anonymous
28th January 2022
Friday 6:56 pm
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>>449291
I looked up Arthur Fowler and that is a very old reference.
>> No. 449295 Anonymous
28th January 2022
Friday 6:58 pm
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>>449291
"When" is the Facebook thicko equivalent of
>implying

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