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>> No. 448152 Anonymous
1st December 2021
Wednesday 12:02 am
448152 Christmas 2021
It's the first of December. It's that time of year again.

Open your advent calendar chocolates, listen to Andrew, put up your tree this weekend, put off the present shopping for at least a fortnight, surviving the Christmas party at work, watching shit on telly.

You know the drill by now, lads.
Expand all images.
>> No. 448153 Anonymous
1st December 2021
Wednesday 12:04 am
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Xyjk4sDxnI
>> No. 448154 Anonymous
1st December 2021
Wednesday 12:08 am
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Annual Andrew update: he's still a massive Apple fanboy and making augmented reality things that I don't really follow.

https://twitter.com/AndrewHartAR
>> No. 448155 Anonymous
1st December 2021
Wednesday 12:08 am
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Obligatory.

http://www.ferryhalim.com/orisinal/g3/bells.htm
>> No. 448156 Anonymous
1st December 2021
Wednesday 7:44 am
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Someone I have added on Facebook has uploaded a picture of their Christmas tree. It's full of baubles with pictures of their dead family members in them. They're not even nice pictures; if I wanted to remember my mum I'd try and find a picture of her from good times rather than when she's on death's door with all sorts of tubes going in and out of her.
>> No. 448157 Anonymous
1st December 2021
Wednesday 10:45 am
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>>448152
I bought the tree on Sunday, that's how far ahead of the curve I am this year.
>> No. 448158 Anonymous
1st December 2021
Wednesday 10:54 am
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Heinz is launching Terry's Chocolate Orange Mayo for Christmas

https://www.mirror.co.uk/money/shopping-deals/heinz-launching-terrys-chocolate-orange-25584760

Science has gone too far.
>> No. 448159 Anonymous
1st December 2021
Wednesday 11:53 am
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>>448158
Oh now that just sounds like all kinds of disgusting.
>> No. 448160 Anonymous
1st December 2021
Wednesday 12:13 pm
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>>448158
I assume it's not actually mayonaise, right? There's no egg and vinegar in it?
>> No. 448161 Anonymous
1st December 2021
Wednesday 12:22 pm
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>>448160
You make bad assumptions.
>> No. 448162 Anonymous
1st December 2021
Wednesday 12:22 pm
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>>448160
>To create this chocolate orange mayo, the team at Heinz blended Heinz [Seriously] Good Mayonnaise with melted Terry’s Chocolate Orange segments, Crème Patissière and an extra dose of Terry’s Chocolate Orange’s signature real orange oil for good measure.
>> No. 448163 Anonymous
1st December 2021
Wednesday 3:20 pm
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I've just been up in the loft to get down the outdoor Christmas lights, it's fucking freezing up there.

I'm pretty much set for Christmas, but it doesn't require much input from me other than buying presents for my family.
>> No. 448176 Anonymous
2nd December 2021
Thursday 6:42 pm
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yFgAllmI6LY

It's been roughly four years and counting since Kunt released anything decent.
>> No. 448185 Anonymous
2nd December 2021
Thursday 9:10 pm
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The Maltesers advent calender has no Maltesers in it. They're just solid chocolate, no little bits of the stuff like you'd find in a tub of Celebrations. I'm aghast.
>> No. 448186 Anonymous
2nd December 2021
Thursday 9:22 pm
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>>448185
You'll get one of those reindeers to eat at Christmas.
>> No. 448187 Anonymous
2nd December 2021
Thursday 9:29 pm
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>>448186
It will be like eating ash.
>> No. 448188 Anonymous
2nd December 2021
Thursday 9:30 pm
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>>448185

That's nothing, I had a pack of extra-strong Lockets where half of them didn't even have a liquid centre. They were just extremely rude boiled sweets.
>> No. 448189 Anonymous
2nd December 2021
Thursday 9:53 pm
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>>448176
Will Gary Glitter get royalties from this egregious act of musical tribute?
>> No. 448197 Anonymous
3rd December 2021
Friday 10:08 am
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>>448189
I assumed Kunt would be giving most of the money to charity, not sure if that negates royalties.
>> No. 448203 Anonymous
4th December 2021
Saturday 1:05 am
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>put off the present shopping for at least a fortnight

This year I fell for the scare stories and did all my Christmas shopping on Black Friday because I find it hard enough to buy presents for people.

What I noticed is that shopping for teens has become effectively impossible even in November from a mixture of delivery times, price inflation and shortages. I feel bad for giving my nephews £35 Amazon vouchers but I'm not going to be spending my evening looking at bollocks or buying things that I like on the off-chance they might get into it. Better to make them do the choosing and in the process teach the lesson of how stressful a limited amount of money can be.
>> No. 448204 Anonymous
4th December 2021
Saturday 7:18 am
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>>448203
If you're getting your nephews anything other than a Lynx gift box you're doing the nation a great disservice.
>> No. 448208 Anonymous
5th December 2021
Sunday 8:25 am
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Decided to start wearing my Christmas jumper on the 1st this year rather than for about 20 minutes on Christmas day.
>> No. 448209 Anonymous
5th December 2021
Sunday 11:41 am
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>>448208
I've been wearing as mine as well, but that's largely because it's cold working from home and nobody is really going to see me wearing it.
>> No. 448214 Anonymous
5th December 2021
Sunday 4:32 pm
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>>448204

I tried that "Cookies and Leather" Lynx recently, and I think I may have expereienced the opposite of "olfactory fatigue". It's not a disgusting scent, but it's extremely distracting. It made me wonder if aniyone within nostril distance thought I was a bumder wot lost their bottle of J₀⁰p!.
>> No. 448218 Anonymous
5th December 2021
Sunday 5:27 pm
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>>448209
In my experience, Christmas jumpers are always clumps of acrylic nothing that are utterly freezing to wear. Your jumper might keep you warm at home, but don't go outside in it or you'll die from hypothermia.
>> No. 448220 Anonymous
5th December 2021
Sunday 5:47 pm
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>>448214
I wear Joop. You can often get 100ml of Joop Go for <£15 on Amazon.
>> No. 448225 Anonymous
5th December 2021
Sunday 8:23 pm
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>>448220


>> No. 448251 Anonymous
8th December 2021
Wednesday 11:55 am
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Tony's chocolate advent calendar has an empty window today to highlight the unfairness within the cocoa trade. Bear in mind these cost £13.

https://twitter.com/TonysChocoUK_IE/status/1468510556202090498
>> No. 448257 Anonymous
8th December 2021
Wednesday 2:47 pm
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>>448251

Twats.
>> No. 448258 Anonymous
8th December 2021
Wednesday 2:59 pm
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>>448251>>448257
I'm not saying you pair are autistic, but the fact you've still not gotten over Tony's making their choclate bars' seams all mismatched is leading me towards certain conclusions.
>> No. 448259 Anonymous
8th December 2021
Wednesday 3:12 pm
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>>448258
If they're going to charge that much for a product for children and then have a blank and empty window with no explanation behind it, the justification is all online, then it's going to backfire. They've admitted they've fucked up.

Apparently there's 25 chocolates in the calendar, but they're all odd sizes.
>> No. 448261 Anonymous
8th December 2021
Wednesday 4:26 pm
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>>448251
Tony's chocolate is really fucking good (though probably not worth £13 for a calandar).
>> No. 448263 Anonymous
8th December 2021
Wednesday 4:39 pm
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>>448258

It's both annoying in practical terms, and about as forecast shippy as you can get. And the chocolate isn't even that good.

Personally, that leads me to conclusions of my own about the sort of people who buy and support the brand.
>> No. 448264 Anonymous
8th December 2021
Wednesday 4:46 pm
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>>448263
You can get regular shaped triangular Tony's chocolate through their collaboration with Aldi. That might soothe your autism.

https://www.tonysopenchain.com/participants/aldi/
>> No. 448265 Anonymous
8th December 2021
Wednesday 5:12 pm
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>>448264

Why though? It's not even that good, and a triangle is still a bloody awkward shape to try and eat chocolate in.

There's nothing autistic about it, it's just that breaking off a square is far easier and leads to far less wasted bits that snap off and get down your keks.

You're simping for a company that's ripping you off.
>> No. 448267 Anonymous
8th December 2021
Wednesday 5:18 pm
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>>448265
A triangle is far easier to snap off than a square.
>> No. 448268 Anonymous
8th December 2021
Wednesday 5:18 pm
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>>448265
A triangle is far easier to snap off than a square.
>> No. 448269 Anonymous
8th December 2021
Wednesday 5:44 pm
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>>448265
>You're simping
Stop talking like this immediately.
>> No. 448277 Anonymous
9th December 2021
Thursday 11:45 am
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It's meant to be Christmas fuddle tomorrow and there's been arguments all week about whether it's safe to go ahead due to coronavirus or if everyone should chip in for them to get outside caterers to make something for everyone individually instead. It's still not been resolved, but petty drama and squabbling like this makes me glad I very rarely have to go into the office these days.
>> No. 448279 Anonymous
9th December 2021
Thursday 1:21 pm
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>>448278
POTY
>> No. 448281 Anonymous
10th December 2021
Friday 10:42 am
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This is probably going to be the fourth year in a row LadBaby gets Christmas number one with a song about sausage rolls.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3gi2RIYSP0
>> No. 448282 Anonymous
10th December 2021
Friday 11:03 am
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>>448281
Despise the cunt. I appreciate he's doing good, but his schtick is tiresome, and he just comes across as a prick.
>> No. 448283 Anonymous
10th December 2021
Friday 11:13 am
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>>448282
I'm not a fan, but he knows how to cater to his target market of mongs right down to the way they're holding the phone to record.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1GQ9C4iwbdU
>> No. 448284 Anonymous
10th December 2021
Friday 11:46 am
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>>448283
>target market of mongs

Christ you weren't kidding.
>> No. 448285 Anonymous
10th December 2021
Friday 11:48 am
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>>448283
Should tattoos be grounds to have someone sectioned under the Mental Health Act?
>> No. 448286 Anonymous
10th December 2021
Friday 11:54 am
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>>448285
I hope they're only temporary ones. What must go through someone's head to get a tattoo related to flash in the pan novelty songs which will be all but forgotten in 10 years time? I wonder how many people got Gangnam Style tattoos, or Mr Blobby back in the day.
>> No. 448287 Anonymous
10th December 2021
Friday 12:21 pm
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>>448285>>448286
It's poverty of ambition and imagination.

I realise this is heading into "poor people shouldn't waste their money on large tellies, Sky TV, booze and fags" but it isn't uncommon for paupers to save up their benefits to get themselves a new tattoo as a treat.

At the end of the day, is a LadBaby sausage roll tattoo worse than other people who decide their personality should be defined by the media they consume? Grown men with Lego, anyone with a Funko Pops collection, someone getting a tattoo of the Joker, you get the idea.
>> No. 448349 Anonymous
13th December 2021
Monday 7:38 am
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Own up, which one of you lads writes for The Mail?

>Tony's Chocolonely decided to leave its advent calendar empty on December 8. The chocolate firm said it made the move to highlight slave labour policies. However, it has now apologised after parents of autistic children slammed move.

https://www.Please don't ban me.co.uk/news/article-10302869/Woke-chocolate-firm-apologises-leaving-advent-calendar-day-blank.html
>> No. 448350 Anonymous
13th December 2021
Monday 12:11 pm
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>>448287
>It's poverty of ambition and imagination.
I don't entirely agree. Things like this, I imagine they decided to get it done after it turned into a sort of in-joke with their friends, nights spend having a few tins and laughing about it. While it is something that was designed and served up to them by faceless corporate drones, it may well relate to powerful interpersonal connections for the person with the tattoo. It may remind them of their mates and the time spent bonding over the icon. In many ways that's much less sad than the many (not all) grown men whose Funko Pop collections are the product of parasocial relationships to the media corporation, instead of other people.
>> No. 448351 Anonymous
13th December 2021
Monday 12:32 pm
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>>448350
I agree who are we to judge whether a tattoo of LadBaby has more meaning than, say, my mate's Tool or Porcupine Tree tattoos.

However, I counted at least eight rather crude LadBaby tattoos on her arms so I don't think she's firing on all synapses.
>> No. 448353 Anonymous
13th December 2021
Monday 1:49 pm
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Arshavin in the last ~20 seconds of this video really reminds me of Andrew.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sUycereKHy8
>> No. 448354 Anonymous
13th December 2021
Monday 6:06 pm
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>>448351
>firing on all synapses.
She could have epilepsy, you don't know.
>> No. 448356 Anonymous
13th December 2021
Monday 6:57 pm
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>>448353

Should've got Rod Stewart in.


>> No. 448394 Anonymous
15th December 2021
Wednesday 3:12 pm
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I'm starting to think that Kunt posts here.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYLDBgZlQd4
>> No. 448396 Anonymous
15th December 2021
Wednesday 3:32 pm
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>>448394

Worryingly, I think we just happen to be on the same wavelength.
>> No. 448400 Anonymous
15th December 2021
Wednesday 5:09 pm
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>>448396
We'll have to see whether his next shit song involves chocolate autism.
>> No. 448403 Anonymous
15th December 2021
Wednesday 9:06 pm
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Apparently I'm the bastard man for leaving the Bounty chocolates in the Celebrations tub because I'm the only one who will eat them.
>> No. 448410 Anonymous
17th December 2021
Friday 1:25 am
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I can't wait to get out of London, go home, see some family and not think about things for a few days and sleep and enjoy festivities.

That's not stopped people putting in meetings for next week however. Why? Who actually wants to be working?
>> No. 448413 Anonymous
17th December 2021
Friday 10:48 am
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GsRJ-iRZasQ

SOSSAGE ROLLS
>> No. 448414 Anonymous
17th December 2021
Friday 10:53 am
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The fuck do I get my mum and dad? I've already bought them a box of Thorntons, I'll probably get the token bottle of wine, but I need at least enough bits to fill up one of those gift bags, and it gets harder every year.

They're deeply boring people who I barely have anything to even talk about with. I don't dislike them, it's just really difficult to spend time with them, it's like pullingteeth trying to keep a conversation going. All my dad does is watch telly, all my mum does is sit on the iPad playing candy crush or whatever.

I could probably makea whole /emo/ post about this but now is not the time. My concern right now is merely keeping up appearances via the mutual ritualistic participation in obligatory consumerism.

I've no clue. Help?
>> No. 448415 Anonymous
17th December 2021
Friday 11:23 am
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>>448414
My dad is getting Bob Mortimer's autobiography, a Wasgij and chocolate.

My mum is getting walking socks and a garden ornament.
>> No. 448416 Anonymous
17th December 2021
Friday 12:18 pm
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>>448414
They sound very like my parents. Do your parents show any thought in shopping for you? My parents ask me for an exact list of what I want, and then stick to it precisely without deviation. If you try asking them, they might well tell you and then you could just buy that.
>> No. 448417 Anonymous
17th December 2021
Friday 12:34 pm
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>>448414
I got my dad a coffee calendar and my mum a box of teas. Simples.

Not sure why you'd expect to have much common ground with your parents. You're using an obscure internet message board so you'll always have difficulty relating to people in general, even those your own age.
>> No. 448418 Anonymous
17th December 2021
Friday 12:36 pm
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>>448415

Garden ornament seems like a good shout. To be fair my mum is usually happy with any old tat, but my dad is a royal pain in the arse. I used to be able to buy him tools and the like, he was a mechanic before he retired but nowadays he has no need for any of it, there's nothing he has to do around the house and they've downsized to a single car. I'm stumped.

>>448416

Nah, we haven't done lists since I was about 13 and it would be weird to start again in my 30s. We're very much at the stage of buying only token gifts, and honestly I'm fine with it, as long as they get me some socks and pants every year, because otherwise I wouldn't have any.
>> No. 448434 Anonymous
19th December 2021
Sunday 9:40 pm
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>>448414
>They're deeply boring people who I barely have anything to even talk about with. I don't dislike them, it's just really difficult to spend time with them, it's like pullingteeth trying to keep a conversation going. All my dad does is watch telly, all my mum does is sit on the iPad playing candy crush or whatever.

Just got back home for Christmas. Scary how much this echoes my situation.
>> No. 448435 Anonymous
20th December 2021
Monday 12:08 am
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Haven't posted here in a very long time, but I'm glad to see the tradition is still alive and well.
>> No. 448436 Anonymous
20th December 2021
Monday 2:17 am
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I think the idea of gift giving is lovely. You give something that shows you care about them, something that shows you know them as a person. That you listen, that you're in tune with who they are and what makes them happy.

But there's this horrible irony about it all, where most of the time it's just a "oh fuck I need to get auntie Sandra something, um I'll add that handcare set to basket, that'll do".
>> No. 448437 Anonymous
20th December 2021
Monday 4:32 am
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>>448436

I just woke up from a stress dream in which I realised that a random lass from work was definitely buying me an elaborate, thoughtful gift and I had neglected to get her anything. I woke up sweating. I barely know this lass.

What I'm trying to say is that I agree with your sentiment.
>> No. 448438 Anonymous
20th December 2021
Monday 9:08 am
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>>448434
Embrace it for what it is. If I spend an extended period of time at my parents it inevitably means spending time on the sofa watching telly with not a great deal being said. There's no point fighting it as you won't be able to change them. Go with the flow, treat yourself to a crisp sandwich and either bring a book or shitpost on here using your phone.

Then again, I have a family of my own so the thought of having a day off from them doing absolutely fuck all sounds like bliss. A day off from your family is more valuable than a day off work.

>>448435
Do we have any other traditions these days?

>>448436
I only buy presents for immediate family, although I'd be doing secret santa if I wasn't self employed.
>> No. 448439 Anonymous
20th December 2021
Monday 12:28 pm
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It looks like all the bosses have decided to take this week off work. This is fantastic aside from the fact that I have work to do and now will procrastinate until the last minute.

>>448437
You can always embrace another .gs tradition and give her the gift that will last a lifetime.
>> No. 448440 Anonymous
20th December 2021
Monday 12:40 pm
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>>448438

It sounds like bliss, to be honest. Me and my Mum get on just fine, but she loves to talk about everything that's gone wrong since I last saw her, so I end up feeling like a therapist that's being paid in cava and pigs in blankets.

My parents are separated, but the rare occasion I do end up at my dads, he just tries desperately to convince me and everyone else he's middle class, because he remarried to a middle class bird with a good career and he obviously has a chip on his shoulder about it, and so does she. I would certainly prefer silence in front of the TV than him giving wikipedia level explanations of philosophical ideas while his wife, closer to my age than his, pointedly brings up my career over and over in thinly vieled jabs at his life as a kept man. (Still not sure if she wants to fuck me, I'll figure it out)

But silence seems more enjoyable.
>> No. 448441 Anonymous
20th December 2021
Monday 12:59 pm
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>>448440
I feel like you've posted about whether your dad's wife wants to fuck you before. Either that or there's several of you.
>> No. 448442 Anonymous
20th December 2021
Monday 4:47 pm
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>>448441

It wouldn't surprise me if I'd posted before about it, I'm usually pretty good at reading signs (or a lack thereof) but shes always right on the border between the two, which probably means she's just playing around.

The trouble is I don't have much of a relationship with my dad, good or bad, never have. So shagging his wife would never really be the trangressive, exciting, forbidden act it would be for most, nor would it be a triumphant, revenge driven climactic victory over all the ways he's wronged me or anything like that. It'd likely be far more exciting for her than me.
>> No. 448443 Anonymous
20th December 2021
Monday 4:49 pm
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The interconnectedness of all things used to drive me to drink but these days I have overcome my struggle with holism.
>> No. 448446 Anonymous
20th December 2021
Monday 7:13 pm
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>>448440

I wouldn't read too much into it. She sounds like she's just the kind of person who enjoys belittling people, and she's made your dad into an amusing little pincushion. Usually this is driven by deep insecurities about themselves, in my experience. Ugly people all around.
>> No. 448447 Anonymous
20th December 2021
Monday 7:17 pm
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>>448446

Maybe. Might get my dick wet, though
>> No. 448448 Anonymous
20th December 2021
Monday 7:27 pm
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>>448447

Stirring your old man's porridge?
>> No. 448451 Anonymous
21st December 2021
Tuesday 10:30 pm
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>>448438
>Do we have any other traditions these days?

Sporadic posting of old Britchan memes.
>> No. 448452 Anonymous
21st December 2021
Tuesday 10:33 pm
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>>448451
So that's what you lot have been going on about for the past nine-and-a-half years. I had a similar problem trying to photograph vinyl records a couple of years ago, only much worse because it was my hideous face, not my beautiful knob, crashing the photo.
>> No. 448454 Anonymous
22nd December 2021
Wednesday 5:48 am
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There's this forum I use that always goes a bit weird around Christmas. There's only about 16 or so active users and you can tell from when they've been logging on that they've been visiting the site every day, often several times during the day, but for the past week or so the amount of activity has massively dropped off. I mean things like if a new thread is posted most users won't even open it and read it, nevermind considering actually replying to it. It happens every year without fail and it sort of feels like they're trying to prove to either themselves or everyone else they're too busy doing cool things elsewhere, despite the fact they're a regular user to a niche interest forum and they're still visiting the place on a frequent basis.
>> No. 448455 Anonymous
22nd December 2021
Wednesday 6:05 am
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>>448454
I think most online places go a bit weird during the holidays, us included.
>> No. 448457 Anonymous
22nd December 2021
Wednesday 8:56 am
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>>448455
I don't think we get any weirder than usual.
>> No. 448458 Anonymous
22nd December 2021
Wednesday 11:21 am
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>>448455

This place is weird to me. It's the online equivalent of hanging out with a friend's friends you don't really know. You get the basic premise of most of the conversations, even some of the in-jokes, but it also can be a little weird or hard to grasp and you're not sure why.
>> No. 448459 Anonymous
22nd December 2021
Wednesday 1:26 pm
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What are you veggies and vegans having for Christmas dinner this year?
>> No. 448461 Anonymous
22nd December 2021
Wednesday 1:35 pm
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>>448458

Speak for yourself, but I'm one of your mate's mates and you're that one wierdo from work he brought with him, making the vibe all awkward because we're trying not to make you feel left out even though we can tell you're a bit of a lightweight and we're all being a bit too boisterous and laddish for you.
>> No. 448462 Anonymous
22nd December 2021
Wednesday 10:14 pm
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Ladbaby has been throwing a teary about Kunt possibly derailing his Ego trip.
>> No. 448463 Anonymous
22nd December 2021
Wednesday 10:23 pm
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>>448462

To me, Ladbaby somehow seems more of a cunt than Kunt. He's that sort of bloke who gets invited to a sesh but doesn't really know anyone that well, but will still unashamedly try to blag a couple of lines off you, do half the fucking bag and then never, ever even entertain the possibility of returning the favour. Whereas Kunt seems like he'd just be a bit too loud and talk a bit too much about the fishscale he "could have got" if you'd only told him last week. Which is still a cunt but a much milder cunt - you can at least empathise with his decisions.
>> No. 448464 Anonymous
22nd December 2021
Wednesday 10:40 pm
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>>448462
At least Kunt is taking it in good spirits.
>> No. 448465 Anonymous
22nd December 2021
Wednesday 10:46 pm
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>>448463
LadBaby is a vainglorious cunt. When you actually look on YT channel, most of his videos are around the 200k mark. Yes, this is more than most YouTubers; but it's not really big influencer numbers. I appreciate he is trying to make the most of his fifteen minutes with books and songs and all that, but he will be forgotten about in five years time. I imagine when we're watching the "Every Xmas No. 1" shows on MTV, they'll be WITH NOTHING TO SAY BECAUSE I AM A CUNT by his songs reaching number 1, and look at them with disdain.

Also his wife is really fucking hot and I want to have sex with her, but I cannot due to LadBaby.
>> No. 448466 Anonymous
22nd December 2021
Wednesday 10:53 pm
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>>448465
>Also his wife is really fucking hot and I want to have sex with her

I was waiting for this comment.
>> No. 448468 Anonymous
23rd December 2021
Thursday 9:31 am
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>>448464
He’s in the front page of Wikipedia today.
>> No. 448469 Anonymous
23rd December 2021
Thursday 11:00 am
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It doesn't feel like Christmas is two days away. It's suddenly just... here.
>> No. 448470 Anonymous
23rd December 2021
Thursday 11:41 am
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>>448466
I was curious so I looked.

https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/news/ladbaby-christmas-number-1-the-kunts-b1980789.html

>Alluding to The Kunts’ track, Hoyle said that he would rather choose positivity at Christmas and continued: “It takes a certain sort of person to download a song with that in the title, but you never know.”

>“There’s definitely an element that people aren’t happy with this government, but our song is for charity – I don’t believe theirs is – and ours is trying to raise more money than ever for food banks. It’s something that is even more important given everything that is going on.”

>In a statement shared with The Independent, The Kunts confirmed that they had made large donations to MIND and Cardiac Risk in the Young following the success of their song “Boris Johnson is a F***ing C***” in last year’s Christmas No 1 race. They said that they chose to donate like this rather than releasing a “charity single” to cut out “the large percentage accrued by record companies, sales platforms like Amazon and Apple, management, marketing and PR”.

Yeah, LadBaby has strongly indicated that he is a self absorbed cunt. Not to be too idealistic, but if these christmas number ones actually meant anything more than the shuffling around of dosh, Kunt criticising the Tories is ostensibly addressing the problem, whereas Ladbaby funding foodbanks is basically just feeding into their ineptitude. If political music actually got anything done, he'd be a hypocrite.

>>448465 is spot on apart from the bit about his wife, she's fucking grim. I know you can't all be Captain Japseye for the whales, and some of this must be ironic.
>> No. 448471 Anonymous
23rd December 2021
Thursday 12:10 pm
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>>448470
How much did his single last year actually raise for charidee?
>> No. 448473 Anonymous
23rd December 2021
Thursday 1:11 pm
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Kunt sez.
“We may be vulgar in the language we use to get our point across but we would not be so vulgar as to use food banks to hawk records, increase our profile or sign lucrative sponsorship deals. Let me be clear, we would not stoop to using poverty, hunger and despair to promote our career like we believe LadBaby have done in this year’s Christmas number one campaign.”
>> No. 448474 Anonymous
23rd December 2021
Thursday 1:30 pm
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>>448473
Talking posh like that isn't going to win him any favours. Innit.
>> No. 448475 Anonymous
23rd December 2021
Thursday 1:52 pm
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On the one hand LadBaby is an ignorant Tory, but on the other Kunt is really crass and obnoxious, so hopefully someone else beats them both.
>> No. 448476 Anonymous
23rd December 2021
Thursday 2:55 pm
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>>448475
I wouldn't say he's a Tory, it's more that he'd rather bury his head in the sand and deal with the symptoms rather than confronting the cause because it's more convenient. It's good for his brand to look like he's doing something.

He's the kind of cunt who'll do a sky dive for charity, pretending it's for a good cause but it's really for his benefit.
>> No. 448477 Anonymous
23rd December 2021
Thursday 3:19 pm
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>LadBaby
How old is Ladbaby's baby now? It must be pushing four or five. It can probably talk. Does it still appear in videos ever?
>> No. 448478 Anonymous
23rd December 2021
Thursday 4:06 pm
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>>448477
The baby is in the new sausage rolls song.
>> No. 448479 Anonymous
23rd December 2021
Thursday 4:48 pm
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Feel bad for the kid, having his childhood taken over by gurning talentless cunts using him to further their pitiful "comedy" careers.
>> No. 448481 Anonymous
23rd December 2021
Thursday 6:27 pm
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I went to the shops today and EVERYBODY was out shopping.

Seemed quite weird I tell you.
>> No. 448482 Anonymous
23rd December 2021
Thursday 8:01 pm
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>>448481
I haven't driven much recently, but the roads were absolutely rammed everywhere earlier.
>> No. 448483 Anonymous
23rd December 2021
Thursday 8:07 pm
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>>448479
Thought you meant are Andrew for a moment.
>> No. 448485 Anonymous
23rd December 2021
Thursday 8:22 pm
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhhjoZ_XL9Q
>> No. 448499 Anonymous
24th December 2021
Friday 1:29 am
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I don't like christmas songs in general, but every year I get a bit fascinated by them as a cultural phenomenon. A few of my observations:

-Bruce Springsteen doesn't hit a single on-pitch note in the entire song in his version of "Santa Clause Is Coming To Town". It's actually quite impressive how he's so consistently out of tune.

-Paul McCartney really couldn't write songs for shit without the other three, could he.

-The whole step key change in the one that goes "ring-aling-a-ling-a-ding-dong-ding" is really abrupt and sinister, like the producer was holding them at gunpoint shouting "MORE CHRISTMAS". It has the same vibes as when a videogame boss transitions into their final form and everything steps up a notch.

~Noel or Liam Gallagher's cover of that Slade one is the most morbidly existential piece of music I have ever heard. It is a three minute rumination on the nature of futility.
>> No. 448500 Anonymous
24th December 2021
Friday 6:34 am
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>>448499
>Paul McCartney really couldn't write songs for shit without the other three, could he.

Ignoring his output for The Beatles, are you including Pipes of Peace, Live and Let Die and Mull of Kintyre in this?

George Harrison had the best post-Beatles music career, but McCartney still wrote a fair few decent songs.
>> No. 448502 Anonymous
24th December 2021
Friday 10:38 am
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>Paul McCartney really couldn't write songs for shit without the other three, could he.
What about the fucking frog song ladm8
>> No. 448503 Anonymous
24th December 2021
Friday 12:01 pm
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I've barely heard Christmas songs this year - even fewer than last. I'm not sure if I'm looking in the wrong places (pretty much nowhere) or the song just aren't being played like they used to (ideas of multiculturalism abound).
>> No. 448504 Anonymous
24th December 2021
Friday 1:18 pm
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I watch the Christmas music channels and rate what disc the song should be on. As in what disc on "Now That's What I Call Christmas" 4 disc compilation album. Shakin Stevens is a disc oner. As is Mariah Carrey. But John and Yoko, that's a disc 2. I have a soft spot for Jonah Lewie, but it's not festive enough so belongs on disc 2. Paul McCartney's Wonderful Christmastime is dog shit so belongs on disc 3, but McCartney is a big star so he unfairly ends up on disc 1. This fun little game in my head brings me ever so much joy.
>> No. 448505 Anonymous
24th December 2021
Friday 2:27 pm
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>>448504
I remember getting all the Now Thats What I Call Music albums back in the day, for xmas - they were good value.
>> No. 448506 Anonymous
24th December 2021
Friday 3:03 pm
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>>448504

Mariah Carey is a disc 4, then you take the disc 4 and put it in the shredder, then you get one of those Will It Blend blenders to blend up the remaining shards, then you put it on a space ship heading right for the sun.

Can not fucking stand that song.
>> No. 448507 Anonymous
24th December 2021
Friday 3:25 pm
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>>448504
What about Proper Crimbo?
>> No. 448509 Anonymous
24th December 2021
Friday 3:35 pm
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>>448507

Disc 3 material. Sensation when it came out but faded into obscurity like the show that spawned it, only remaining in the minds of millennials who went to rough lower class comprehensives in the early 00s.

(Oi Purpz, are you going to put the snow on? Other place have done it.)
>> No. 448511 Anonymous
24th December 2021
Friday 4:40 pm
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>>448503
I don't think I've heard Merry Xmas Everybody this year yet. But I have heard Underneath the Tree by Kelly Clarkson several times, which I consider to be good news because that is easily the best Christmas song of the past decade.
>> No. 448514 Anonymous
24th December 2021
Friday 5:48 pm
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There are whispers that there's a spot of Panic at the Beeb. Kunt has possibly done it.
>> No. 448515 Anonymous
24th December 2021
Friday 6:08 pm
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Merry Christmas from Peter Stefanovich's large adult daughter.
>> No. 448516 Anonymous
24th December 2021
Friday 6:27 pm
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>>448514
You've reminded me of Owen Jones gleefully boasting that Boris Johnson had lost his seat on the day of the 2019 general election.
>> No. 448517 Anonymous
24th December 2021
Friday 7:17 pm
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Really makes you think.
>> No. 448518 Anonymous
24th December 2021
Friday 7:21 pm
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>>448517
Preferred his earlier work.
>> No. 448519 Anonymous
24th December 2021
Friday 7:29 pm
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>>448517
Is this why we never have snow, no naked men in chains?
>> No. 448520 Anonymous
24th December 2021
Friday 7:34 pm
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>>448519
That's a miserable looking forecast for the next week. Snow would be a blessing compared to pissy cold rain.
>> No. 448521 Anonymous
24th December 2021
Friday 9:34 pm
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Was watching University Challenge and there was one black woman on the Cambridge team.

Questions came up about Africa, and every other contestant on the team was looking at her for each answer. Now, that's funny because it looks racist but honestly isn't that just common sense?

Fwiw I got Marcus Garvey quicker than her. And I'm a white cunt.
>> No. 448522 Anonymous
24th December 2021
Friday 10:19 pm
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I just looked under the tree and I'm beginning to think Santa's not bringing the large breasted and emotionally reassuring woman who'll let me fall asleep with my head on her lap like I asked for.
>> No. 448523 Anonymous
24th December 2021
Friday 11:00 pm
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>>448522
You might want to look in /iq/ at the Vorderman thread for comfort.
>> No. 448524 Anonymous
24th December 2021
Friday 11:01 pm
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>>448522
>> No. 448525 Anonymous
24th December 2021
Friday 11:15 pm
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>>448524
Keep Vorderman in the Vorderman thread please.
>> No. 448526 Anonymous
24th December 2021
Friday 11:28 pm
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>>448521

Not really. My dna can be traced back to eastern europe, but don't be looking at me when someone's asking who the 9th king of slovakia was.
>> No. 448527 Anonymous
24th December 2021
Friday 11:38 pm
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>>448525
Her curves cannot be contained.
>> No. 448528 Anonymous
24th December 2021
Friday 11:41 pm
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>>448523>>448524
I don't want to start a festive cunt-off, but Vorderman strikes me as anything but "emotionally reassuring".

>>448521
Maybe if she was studying something Africa related or was actually from Africa. If she grew up in Morecambe or something though I'd assume a she was as daft as any white Briton, and isn't that what MLK Jr. wanted? We cannot say, he never spoke on Morecombe, sadly.
>> No. 448529 Anonymous
25th December 2021
Saturday 12:00 am
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IT'S CHRISTMAAAAAAAAS!
>> No. 448530 Anonymous
25th December 2021
Saturday 12:02 am
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The day is finally upon us. The feast celebrating the life of our lord and saviour, George Michael.
>> No. 448531 Anonymous
25th December 2021
Saturday 12:28 am
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Is it over yet?
>> No. 448532 Anonymous
25th December 2021
Saturday 12:30 am
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Merry Christmas my dears.
>> No. 448533 Anonymous
25th December 2021
Saturday 12:33 am
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Merry Christmas lads. It's not my sort of thing, but I hope you all have a nice one.
>> No. 448534 Anonymous
25th December 2021
Saturday 12:50 am
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Merry Christmas, lads.


>>448522
>the large breasted and emotionally reassuring woman who'll let me fall asleep with my head on her lap

Santa Father Christmas knows full-well that's not what you really want. Expect him to let in a rail-thin category 9 mentalist into your home who will key the neighbours car and claw you to death while giving you the best sex of your life.
>> No. 448535 Anonymous
25th December 2021
Saturday 1:48 am
448535 Rose
I'll just leave this here:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5DWPiZMksAA
>> No. 448536 Anonymous
25th December 2021
Saturday 3:55 am
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>>448535
Very odd video.

Do not want.
>> No. 448537 Anonymous
25th December 2021
Saturday 10:18 am
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These are fucking rank.

Did Father Christmas bring you what you wanted?
>> No. 448538 Anonymous
25th December 2021
Saturday 11:46 am
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I didn't have quite enough doubanjiang and used too much chilli in the hong you so my Christmas mapu dofu mostly tastes like mace. It's not unpleasant but will be coming out the other end later.
>> No. 448539 Anonymous
25th December 2021
Saturday 12:52 pm
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Got to go to my partner's parents' house for Christmas dinner. Dreading it. Even though I've been with my partner for quite a long time, I still don't feel comfortable around her family. So it'll be several hours of me sitting in silence.
>> No. 448540 Anonymous
25th December 2021
Saturday 2:47 pm
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ITSSSSS BRIIIIIIITFAAAAAA.gs
>> No. 448541 Anonymous
25th December 2021
Saturday 3:47 pm
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Why does BBC's science correspondent never mention what the UK does in space?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-59782057

We're about to take a look if and see there's artificial lighting on Kepler-452b and see what the universe was like when the first stars emerged. It's an amazing launch today.

>>448539

>> No. 448542 Anonymous
25th December 2021
Saturday 4:38 pm
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>>448537
I got a very nice Seiko watch, so totally happy.
>> No. 448543 Anonymous
25th December 2021
Saturday 5:05 pm
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Channel 4's Alternative Christmas Message this year is Olympic diver Tom Daley, talking about mental health and being gay. That's not very alternative. It's hardly like when they got Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to do it, or last year's fake-news one where the Queen said a load of deepfaked stuff.

He's making a couple of good points, but there's a lot of padding with the usual committee-designed "brave" wholesomeness that anyone can see anywhere on any day of the year.
>> No. 448544 Anonymous
25th December 2021
Saturday 5:08 pm
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I realise I'm going to sound like a whiny ungrateful bitch, but I really wish my in-laws weren't so tight.

We bought my son Mario Kart for the Switch and when we gave my mother-in-law some suggestions she said she'd get the steering wheel controller to go with it, so we sent her a link to to proper Nintendo one which was just under £15 in Argos. She's instead bought these really cheap off-brand ones for about half the price that's awkward to hold after a while and it's hit or miss whether the shoulder buttons will actually work through it. This is literally the only present she's bought him and she is not short of a bob or too.

My brother-in-law is very similar. Whatever you suggest to buy he'll go for a knock-off version from B&M or Home Bargains, even if it's just shaving a couple of quid off. They're obsessed with tat. I don't even know why it surprises me because they've been like this ever since I've known them.
>> No. 448545 Anonymous
25th December 2021
Saturday 6:24 pm
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Liz looks very old in that broadcast today.
>> No. 448546 Anonymous
25th December 2021
Saturday 6:27 pm
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Was the Queen a deep fake? I reckon she's been dead for a few months now. They're just covering it up until covid's gone because they don't want to say it was covid.
>> No. 448547 Anonymous
25th December 2021
Saturday 6:37 pm
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Well, finding this has made my Xmas day even better.

https://buttplug.io

https://www.hismith.com/en/?ref=16325
>> No. 448548 Anonymous
25th December 2021
Saturday 6:45 pm
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>>448545
I still can't believe they managed to make a hash of the audio on the youtube stream.

Fair fucks to her though, as much as I don't want to die the idea of being left alone without the love of your life is horrifying stuff. For my grandmother she awoke one day to find her husband had died in his sleep, imagine how often that must happen.
>> No. 448549 Anonymous
25th December 2021
Saturday 7:02 pm
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>>448548
> find her husband had died in his sleep

I can't imagine anything worse. A family friend of mine died in his sleep, and his wife talked about that being the worst part of it.
>> No. 448550 Anonymous
25th December 2021
Saturday 7:06 pm
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>>448549
At least you can take solace in the fact that it's the most painless way for someone to go, I suppose.
>> No. 448551 Anonymous
25th December 2021
Saturday 7:25 pm
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>>448549

When my grandad died, my grandma was in the next room and heard him collapse. She says she still hears the thunk, years later. I honestly don't know which is worse. Waking up to someone cold next to you might still be worse, I can imagine thinking "if I'd woken up I could have done something" and all that.

Either way, I think about the way my gran looked when she talked about that noise quite a lot.
>> No. 448552 Anonymous
25th December 2021
Saturday 7:46 pm
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>>448515
Is the mother evangelist christian korean youtuber?
>> No. 448553 Anonymous
25th December 2021
Saturday 8:08 pm
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>>448514
He hasn't; the sausage rolls song is this year's Christmas #1 again. I didn't see any mention of where the crusty old edgelord came with his BRILLIANT profanity song.
>> No. 448554 Anonymous
25th December 2021
Saturday 8:13 pm
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>>448545
I'm crossing my fingers for an abdication after the Platinum Jubilee. That's the goal; that's when she needs to last till. It's in February so there's hope. Then she can just chill out at home. If she actually tries to celebrate her own 70th anniversary, it won't end well.
>> No. 448555 Anonymous
25th December 2021
Saturday 8:20 pm
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>>448554
I think its quite likely she'll step down too, and you're right about the timing for next year. First monarch to ever get to seventy years, that's as good a time as any to stop and have a rest.
>> No. 448556 Anonymous
25th December 2021
Saturday 9:16 pm
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>>448553
Kunt came fifth, the same as last year. I think LadBaby outsold him about 3:1.
>> No. 448557 Anonymous
25th December 2021
Saturday 10:19 pm
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Well, I'm glad it's over.
>> No. 448558 Anonymous
25th December 2021
Saturday 10:38 pm
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>>448556>>448556
Kunt would be better going for the week after Christmas. All the festive stuff and whatever ladbaby shite will drop like a rock,.
>> No. 448559 Anonymous
26th December 2021
Sunday 8:44 am
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The Queen will not abdicate because there is absolutely no value to anyone in doing so. I have no idea why people think she might.
>> No. 448560 Anonymous
26th December 2021
Sunday 8:47 am
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>>448559
The internet is full of shills funded by Charles.
>> No. 448561 Anonymous
26th December 2021
Sunday 11:12 am
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>>448560
Sounds a bit mental of you to say so.
>> No. 448562 Anonymous
26th December 2021
Sunday 11:27 am
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>>448561
Who, apart from Charles and Camilla, seriously wants the Queen to abdicate so he can ascend the throne? Nobody. Perhaps sneaky fucking Russians who think it'd weaken the country, but that's it.
>> No. 448563 Anonymous
26th December 2021
Sunday 11:40 am
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>>448562
If anyone, I'd rather Harry become King.
>> No. 448564 Anonymous
26th December 2021
Sunday 6:38 pm
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>>448563
After seeing that video of him trying to get the Disney boss to cast Meghan by basically going "please though", I think he's gone a bit off the rails.
>> No. 448566 Anonymous
26th December 2021
Sunday 8:00 pm
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I keep forgetting what day of the week it is and just now went to go do some shopping at the supermarket only to find it closed. Sunday trading laws are bullshit.

>>448559
>>448562
It's the doings of republicans and ear-fetishists.
>> No. 448567 Anonymous
26th December 2021
Sunday 10:14 pm
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I'm staying at my parents' house for Boxing Day. Most of the conversation had dried up within two hours so the rest of the day has largely been watching the TV in relative silence; I looked at a clock earlier convinced it was about half 10, but it wasn't even 6pm by that point. I'd also forgotten that my parents will boil almost any vegetable to death, so I had flavourless carrots and peas with unseasoned mashed potato and meat for my tea.

We watched the new James Bond film. Perhaps it's because the only other Daniel Craig Bond film I've seen is Casino Royale, so I wasn't invested in any of the characters, but I found it quite dull and hard to care about what was happening.
>> No. 448573 Anonymous
27th December 2021
Monday 1:03 pm
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My Christmas was weird. Didn't end up going to girlfriend's parents' house as I got panicky, so spent Christmas Day alone. My Christmas dinner was paprika crisps and kabanosi from the only shop open near me, washed down with a few Stellas. Boxing Day I didn't up going to my girlfriend's parents' again, so spent the day drinking and playing video games. Probably one of the better Christmases I've had.
>> No. 448575 Anonymous
27th December 2021
Monday 1:56 pm
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>>448573
That's quite a statement to your girlfriends parents.
>> No. 448576 Anonymous
27th December 2021
Monday 3:46 pm
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I didn't see a single lorry on the motorway today, which made the traffic flow so much better. They should make lorries drive at night instead or something.
>> No. 448577 Anonymous
27th December 2021
Monday 5:17 pm
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>>448576
I think a lot of them may be taking the day off after working on Christmas Day, which is apparently great for them because there's fuck all traffic. First BH after George Michael Day is always a nightmare, so seems like a good day to not be trying to drive 500 miles in 10 hours.
>> No. 448578 Anonymous
27th December 2021
Monday 5:39 pm
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Hotel Chocolat tastes like shit.
>> No. 448579 Anonymous
27th December 2021
Monday 5:40 pm
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>>448578
Heresy. The vegan stuff is great.
>> No. 448580 Anonymous
27th December 2021
Monday 6:08 pm
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>>448579
I've been given some of their chocolates for Christmas, stupid flavours like passion fruit or blackcurrant, and they are proper rank.
>> No. 448582 Anonymous
27th December 2021
Monday 8:07 pm
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According to my girlfriend its 'weird' that a 29 year old would shag the arse off Shirley Ballas.
>> No. 448583 Anonymous
27th December 2021
Monday 9:34 pm
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>>448582
Motsi Mabusi is sat right there, so I concur with your girlfriend.
>> No. 448584 Anonymous
27th December 2021
Monday 10:13 pm
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I'm convinced a massive pervert worked on series 11 of Taskmaster. In episode 5 there were two challenges that made me think this, firstly the self-bondage struggle and secondly the blind-person-rubs-mouth-on-objects-olympics. Now in episode 6 there has been a request for a painting using only one's feet and I'm left unsure if I want to continue. I feel like I'm watching people being groomed.
>> No. 448589 Anonymous
28th December 2021
Tuesday 5:03 am
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>>448582

Most of the good sex is weird.
>> No. 448590 Anonymous
28th December 2021
Tuesday 10:28 am
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Another Christmas at the in laws.
Another crafty wank over the Wife's Sister.
>> No. 448591 Anonymous
28th December 2021
Tuesday 11:35 am
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Just been to Aldi and they have absolutely shitloads of lebkuchen for <40p. Somehow I managed to resist, but I did pick up one of their Chocolonely bars to wind up autistlad.
>> No. 448592 Anonymous
28th December 2021
Tuesday 5:28 pm
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>>448590
I've been with my girlfriend since we were teenagers. I remember being at her mum's house once and there was a dirty wash basket in the kitchen ready to go in, with a pair of her younger sister's knickers right on the top. They are the gooiest pair of knickers I've ever seen in my life, I can still vividly recollect how slimy they were, and it took all of my willpower not to give them a surreptitious rub/sniff/lick.
>> No. 448593 Anonymous
28th December 2021
Tuesday 5:56 pm
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>>448590

Is it the British lad's curse to have a mild crush on the missus' sister?
>> No. 448594 Anonymous
28th December 2021
Tuesday 6:53 pm
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>>448592
What is the appeal of dirty knickers? I stayed at a platonic female friend's house, and saw some mucky knickers at the top of her laundry basket. I smelt it and it smelt like gone off sour cream. Vile. How do people get off to mucky panties?
>> No. 448595 Anonymous
28th December 2021
Tuesday 6:58 pm
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>>448594
Forbidden fruit. I used to work with a lass that was conventionally very attractive but did absolutely nothing for me. One day she came in without showering after a long bike ride. I lost count of the amount of times I walked past her desk to get a good whiff of her BO.
>> No. 448598 Anonymous
28th December 2021
Tuesday 7:49 pm
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>>448594
>What is the appeal of dirty knickers?
The trouble with clean knickers is that you don't know where they've been.
>> No. 448600 Anonymous
29th December 2021
Wednesday 12:42 am
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>>448595

I hate all types of someone else's body odour, but when a fit lass walks by, I sometimes take a deep breath of her and then in my mind I am already bonking her.

Not that anyone will ever know. Somebody watching me at that moment will barely even notice me breathing in.
>> No. 448601 Anonymous
29th December 2021
Wednesday 1:08 am
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>>448594
I dunno either. It's not even them being aroused, it's just effluent.
>> No. 448602 Anonymous
29th December 2021
Wednesday 2:32 am
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>>448594
Women smell good but it varies on what she's been doing and where she is on the menstrual cycle. There's some science to it. You absolutely can tell the difference between a woman who has been working out and the BO of someone who has sat on the couch all day.

Have you never buried your nose in a partners armpit or even giving her a bit of a lick?
>> No. 448603 Anonymous
29th December 2021
Wednesday 3:42 am
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I'm pretty sure I can smell when a lass is on her period, from several paces away, but I've never said it out loud because it just sounds psychopathic.
>> No. 448610 Anonymous
29th December 2021
Wednesday 3:19 pm
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>>448603

I'm pretty sure there's some legitimate-ish brain hormone chemistry stuff that makes you respond differently to a woman when she's on different phases of her cycle, but I'd be sceptical of anyone who claims to be able to consciously detect it.

When I had a girlfriend who was as much of a deviant furfag weirdo as me, we used to pretend that bit just after her period was when she's "in heat" and we had the most intense vigorous shags dirty taking each other about breeding and such. God it was hot.
>> No. 448612 Anonymous
29th December 2021
Wednesday 4:03 pm
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>>448610
You can't smell when a girl is on her period? You might have to think about the smell but I absolutely can pick up on the must of it. Useful for absolutely sod-all unless you're a salsa-dancer but it exists.

I also like to 'breed' a woman without getting furry about it. Although I've never found just after a period to be when horny week lands.
>> No. 448614 Anonymous
29th December 2021
Wednesday 7:02 pm
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>>448603
Period fannies are stinky. When my girlfriend goes to the toilet on her period, and I go in just after, a foul smell permeates the room. Worse than shit smell or piss smell.
>> No. 448615 Anonymous
29th December 2021
Wednesday 7:05 pm
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>>448614

The smell I'm talking about isn't that, it's just a gentle musk that emanates from them even if they're not firing jam out their snatch.

Unless your missus just needs medical attention. Hard one to bring up though.
>> No. 448621 Anonymous
29th December 2021
Wednesday 11:02 pm
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>>448615
I had a Swiss girlriend, her fanny smelt of flowers and she insisted on feeding me chocolate. I was 46, she was 23. Zu unserer ewigen Liebe <3
>> No. 448676 Anonymous
31st December 2021
Friday 7:24 pm
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I went to the panto today and now I really could do with shagging someone in a fairy costume.
>> No. 448701 Anonymous
31st December 2021
Friday 11:04 pm
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>>448676
Live your dreams!
>> No. 448733 Anonymous
2nd January 2022
Sunday 5:27 pm
448733 spacer
Can I take the decorations down now?
>> No. 448734 Anonymous
2nd January 2022
Sunday 5:30 pm
448734 spacer
>>448733
I've done the external stuff.
The tree can wait til tomorrow.
>> No. 448735 Anonymous
2nd January 2022
Sunday 8:22 pm
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>>448733
>>448734
Someone had discarded their Christmas tree outside there house, on my street. The sight of it is quite sad.
>> No. 448747 Anonymous
3rd January 2022
Monday 2:41 am
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>>448735
I think I might burn mine.
>> No. 448748 Anonymous
3rd January 2022
Monday 9:18 am
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>>448747

It's fresh wood it won't burn very well on its own. You'd need to leave it somewhere to dry for at least six months.
>> No. 448749 Anonymous
3rd January 2022
Monday 11:35 am
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>>448748

And then set his house on fire when all the needles catch? I wouldn't ladm8
>> No. 448751 Anonymous
3rd January 2022
Monday 12:24 pm
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>>448749

The tree would burn then, at least.
>> No. 448754 Anonymous
3rd January 2022
Monday 1:52 pm
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>>448748
What about a plastic one?
>> No. 448756 Anonymous
3rd January 2022
Monday 4:58 pm
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I've bought so much reduced party food today that I can't fit it all in my freezer.
>> No. 448770 Anonymous
4th January 2022
Tuesday 2:56 pm
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>>448756
You could invite us round for a party.
>> No. 448772 Anonymous
4th January 2022
Tuesday 3:39 pm
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>>448756
I bought a new freezer, it turns up Friday. Hoping the shops still have some left by then...
>> No. 448773 Anonymous
4th January 2022
Tuesday 3:42 pm
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>>448770
Depends how much you like vegan mini sausage rolls. 49p a pack in Lidl, same for their vegetable spring rolls.
>> No. 449291 Anonymous
28th January 2022
Friday 6:06 pm
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FKI1PhbWYAUb1YY.jpg
449291449291449291
SOSSAGE ROLLS
>> No. 449292 Anonymous
28th January 2022
Friday 6:15 pm
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>>449291
Probably my favourite thing about emigrating when I did is that I have no fucking clue who this bloke is.
>> No. 449293 Anonymous
28th January 2022
Friday 6:56 pm
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>>449291
He was definitely a millionaire before he started making charity singles.
>> No. 449294 Anonymous
28th January 2022
Friday 6:56 pm
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>>449291
I looked up Arthur Fowler and that is a very old reference.
>> No. 449295 Anonymous
28th January 2022
Friday 6:58 pm
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>>449291
"When" is the Facebook thicko equivalent of
>implying

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