>Scott Mills to replace Steve Wright on BBC Radio 2 afternoon show

Is BBC Radio daytime just a conveyor belt of twats? I wonder which young twat they'll bring in now that Scott Mills is too old for Radio 1.

>>452304
I really can't stand Scott Mills. It would be just like him to move to Radio 2 and annoy everyone else all over again. On a broader level, I suspect all the Radio 1 wanker DJs move to Radio 2 to provide nostalgia for the 40-year-olds who used to listen to Radio 1. I've also heard that the people at Radio 1 really don't want old people to listen to it. Nick Grimshaw absolutely haemorrhaged listeners with his breakfast show a few years ago, but the bosses loved him for it because everyone who stopped listening was over 30 and therefore wasn't welcome anyway. But since society seems to have largely abolished most of the identifying hallmarks of adulthood, we're all teenagers into our 40s now and I guess it makes sense for us to want to keep listening to Sara Cox forever.

>>452302
Maybe Facebook loves poetry? I keep getting poetry recommended to me all the time. I assumed it was because I do often enjoy poetry and have set myself a personal challenge to track it down (seriously, how do people read poetry? Do they just buy poetry books at random? Are there poetry magazines that are not stocked in any shop I look in?), but maybe it's just a handy side-effect of Facebook actually recommending poetry to absolutely everyone, indiscriminately.

I discovered this poem through a Facebook recommendation, and I would say it's one of my favourite poems ever now:
https://poets.org/poem/world-beautiful-place

Does anyone actually like Pho? Tastes like watery pish to me, and I typically love Ramen.

>>452306
The pho I've had has been somewhat refreshing, all the fresh herbs and chilli and whatnot that you add, compared to some of the ramen I've had which is often comparatively heavier.

>>452304>>452305
I didn't mind Scott Mills when he was on Radio 1 about fifteen years ago and taking the piss out of the Dolly Rockers and things like that, but he's stood in for Ken Bruce recently and he's just so bloody bland. He'll play more 90s pop bangers like Everybody (Backstreet's Back) but that's a small plus.

Then again, Steve Wright is simply awful. In an ideal world they wouldn't have sacrificed Simon Mayo at the altar of political correctness and Sara Cox would have taken the breakfast slot instead, although I do prefer Lauren Laverne on 6 Music in the morning.

>>452305

>seriously, how do people read poetry? Do they just buy poetry books at random? Are there poetry magazines that are not stocked in any shop I look in?

There are a number of poetry magazines available, although you won't find them in WH Smith.

I'd strongly recommend checking out a publisher called Bloodaxe Books. They're based in Northumberland and have set themselves up as the antidote to the pompous elitism of the London literary scene. They've published a number of excellent anthologies that make a great starting point for discovering poetry.

https://www.bloodaxebooks.com/ecs/product/staying-alive-709

>>452303
Unsure. Left it though because they really do diddle themselves silly over war. I swear half of them think they fought in it.

>>452305
I've only ever seen poetry posted to the Beeston groups, and it's always the shittest, most primary school dross. It seems to follow the axiom of "everything has to be written in the same way and rhyme perfectly".

Say someone had a neighbour who had this Alexa, which wouldn't shut the fuck up... What hackerman methods could be used to make it stop?

>>452311
Could try pairing Bluetooth and then any audio would come out of your device instead, upon which you can mute it. Pairing success Alexa will say "now connected to [device name]"

>>452310

Poims that dunt rhyme are shite though, it's not a bloody poim if it dunt rhyme. It's just a bunch of sentences broken up into lines because the author wash too much of a pretentious posho to simply wrote prose.

>>452311
Wait till the neighbours have gone out, then scream through the wall, "Alexa! Volume, two!" Then you'll turn it down but they'll still be able to hear it so hopefully won't turn it back up again.

Anyway, the reason I came here was: are British overseas YouTubers being deported? I've never been a fan of "YouTubers" as in people who become actual celebrities from appearing in their own videos, but I watch two of them and they both make videos about foreign countries, and now they're both back here. Bald & Bankrupt is presumably visiting Blackpool and Wales instead of Kyrgyzstan and Moldova because he got arrested in Kazakhstan (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-61365446) and he's always given off a faintly sinister vibe anyway, so I could imagine he might have been deported. But now Abroad in Japan is bringing all his fellow corporate weeb sellouts back to look at Stonehenge and places. That's 100% of all the shitty YouTubers I watch, all travelling several thousand miles to come back here, within a couple of weeks of each other. They can't both be paedophiles who got deported back here for sex trafficking.

>>452350
Baldy is almost certainly involved in some paedo trafficking. Had he just been trespassing, they'd have fitted him up for something and tried to use him as a political hostage like that basketball player they definitely haven't fabricated charges and planted evidence against.

>>452350

I assume Sharla is shamefully shagging Chris which is why they have both been back over here at the same time. Not sure about the others.

I'm glad I don't get invested in the personal lives of YouTubers. Sort yourselves out, lads.

I don't know if it's to do with inflation, but my tricolour pasta is about 85% plain and the orange ones are definitely paler than they used to be.

>>452359
That's actually desaturation.

>>452353

Invested is a strong word in this case, I'd say.

Booked a ticket to see Nitram, 11 o'clock. There's like ten other people at that showing, can you imagine what kind of freakshows are watching Nitram at 11am? I don't wanna' know!

They should make an Onlyfans-type website where ugly bastards like me can make loads of money.

How do I go about writing an email to my boss to express my displeasure in the management team's organisational skills, without getting sacked?

Yesterday afternoon I agreed to do something today which is not one of my usual duties. At every step, this task suffered from a setback. Tech failure, lack of communication, lack of foresight. It made me look like a twat, it made our organisation look amateurish, and it provided more anxiety to a client who was already anxious at the time.

>>452395

You don't. Shit managers are something you either make your peace with and take advantage of, or go elsewhere. There's exactly zero chance of you being listened to.

>>452396

Seconded, but in the mean time you should keep a personal record of management cock-ups in case they try and blame it on you.

>>452394
Call it Lonelyfans. You're welcome. That'll be £50 million, please.

>>452394

If you aim your content at men, you have every chance of being successful. Gay men can be into very specific, odd things (so can straight men, of course, /x/ is proof of that), so you just need to find that audience. Pissing yourself in grey sweatpants, giving other men piggyback rides, wobbling your beer gut around, these are all things people pay to see.

I had one of those Refresher lollipops earlier, at work. I opened it up, and it immediately fell on the office carpet. I picked it up (three-second rule) and looked at it, and it looked fine so I put it in my mouth. After about a minute, I had sucked and chewed it down and found a sharp, stonelike substance embedded in it, like a tiny piece of gravel. Revolted and horrified, I threw it in the bin. But I had checked it after dropping it, and it was fine. Where did this small hard object come from?

Anyway, I have just discovered that a filling is missing from one of my teeth. Fuck.

>>452400
Well did you find out where the grit came from? Don't leave us in suspense.

>>452401
The grit was the filling. Sorry; I tried to tell the story so that would be the plot twist.

Honeycomb or cinder toffee?

My neighbours are on holiday, so I've wheeled their empty bin out and put my own excess rubbish in it. This felt incredibly transgressive.

Debasement
318 Mod 0
Land ownership
New TV
Thirty-two
Stefoniou, 92-94

>>450389
Lads be warned: I just saw the first flying ant of the season. The bastards are back.

>>452406
Teacon Alert level 4.

>>452406
It's crawling with them outside. How do they know to all come out on the same day, nationally? Can't be the same weather conditions everywhere.

>>452408

Zero flying ants around my way.

I'd been humming and harring over getting rid of my overpriced Genuine Authentic Made in Maerica Murrican Fender American Professional Series (TM) Telecaster, and getting some fancy hollowbody instead for less money, but I don't think I can. I've been giving it one last chance to impress me the last couple of nights, and it's actually a dead nice guitar, you just have to treat it a bit differently to get the really nice sounds out of it.

Besides if it's gone up in value £400 since I bought it two years ago, it'll be worth more than my car in another two. All I need to do is knacker up all the paint and set it on fire with lighter fluid a few times so I can sell it as relic'd. and some hipster cunt will give me house deposit money for it in twenty years time.

Don't think I've ever seen a flying ant. I hear a lot of flying ant day talk, and lived all over the country, but never been privy to the day. Is it one of those things like drop bears or Bielefeld?

>>452410
>house deposit money for it in twenty years time.
Not to be a buzzkill, but I don't see you getting seven-figures for it.

>>452411
I think you've got to be really into flagstones or something.

Heatwave next week. Pack your choc-ices. Temperatures are said to be reaching the low-30s which, when accounting is humidity, is hotter than the inside of the Sun.

>>452413

Nice, just in time for my birthday. On that note, you lads have any ideas for a weekend away up north that won't be rammed with people? Or is everything back to normal now people can go to Benidorm again?

I promised the Czech lass I've somehow ended up still shagging even though she's well out of my league we'll go for a weekend break. I'm afraid it might be slipping towards an actual relationship, still totally blindsided honestly.

>>452414

> On that note, you lads have any ideas for a weekend away up north that won't be rammed with people?

Depending on how far up north you want to go, Aberdeen has some stunning coastline and beaches. But you best bring a good wetsuit if you want to take a dip, as the water temperature even in mid-July rarely tops 15 degrees celsius.

Attention: There are giant house spiders entering peoples homes. I narrowly survived a confrontation with one that thought my computer desk would be it's new home.

It would bite my feet eventually in that position so this was a me or him thing

>>452502

Had not one, but three of those cunts in my old flat. Cunts are so big I had one run past me (they're lightning fast) and felt the air displacement on my feet. I spotted one on the wall when I'd got into bed one night and I legitimately thought I must be having one of those dreams from the "obscenely and unrealistically huge spider" genre.

They don't mean any harm though. If there was some way of telling them they can stay as long as they keep off the furniture I wouldn't mind having them around, but there's no reasoning with them. They won't respect any peace treaty. The only option is all out war. Capture and display the POWs as a warning to their comrades.

They can live for a remarkably long time without food or water, I discovered. Nearly three weeks the cunt would still move if I nudged him.

>>452502
>>452503
Finally, some correct opinions around here. No one ever believes me when I tell them giant house spiders are the fastest in the world, a metre every 2.5 seconds iirc. Not sure about this non-lethal business either, it's wholesale extermination or bust. They live for several years and can breed for almost all of that time; catch and release? You might as well be playing Russian roulette.

Still, even giant house spiders pale in comparison to the wolf spider I saw on a water trough while out walking a couple of years ago. If people knew, if only people knew...

The less scary daddy-long-legs spiders apparently eat the terrifying monster spiders. I hate all spiders more than anything, but it's good to know they hate each other too.

Got an almost new Bosch starter battery for 30 quid from the scrappie today. Would've cost 78 quid new ex delivery online. According to the gauge on my battery charger, it was almost empty when I installed it, but the engine still started up without a problem.

Why have I never thought of this before.

Are the police completely useless? Earlier in the week my son's friend was badly beaten in an unprovoked and premeditated assault, including being repeatedly kicked in the face leaving him with broken ribs, black eyes and concussion, so it was reported to the police. A police officer went round to interview him (and my son as a witness) this evening but she was very dismissive; she was trying to encourage the boys that the best thing to do was take their statements and not do anything further because "boys will be boys". She didn't want to talk to the school to obtain the video evidence they had or the witness statements from other people; it was off school grounds but fairly nearby. She didn't seem keen on talking to the perpetrator either.

>>452508

They just don't have the resources to do much more than answer urgent 999 calls, unfortunately. We've lost more than 20,000 cops over the last ten years, but equally problematic is the loss of civilian office staff, CPS staff and court resources - there's absolutely no point in nicking someone and preparing a case if you know that the suspect will be released under investigation and the case quietly dropped because there's no-one available to do the paperwork. Even when someone is prosecuted, there's likely to be a delay of at least 18 months before the case reaches court, by which time the case might fail due to evidence being lost or witnesses forgetting the details of what they saw.

The drop in rape prosecutions has been widely covered in the news, but it's the same across the board. A lot of forces have effectively decriminalised whole classes of offences like shoplifting and personal drug possession. The attrition rate of cases between arrest and prosecution is appalling and a lot of coppers have just given up.

Your son's friend is the unfortunate victim of the slow, insidious collapse of the criminal justice system. Most people rarely if ever interact with the system, a lot of people who do end up in the system just think they've been unlucky/lucky enough to be dealt with by a particularly laissez-faire cop, but your case is sadly entirely typical.

>>452509

They've still got the resources to dedicate multiple officers to follow Steve Bray around Parliament Square all day every day, mind.

>>452510
True, but if you read between the lines of what >>452509 said, it sounds like you can track down each one of the assailants individually with cable ties and a power drill, persuade them to never use violence ever again, and absolutely nobody is going to bother to arrest you.

>Claire Yaxley owes her mother thousands of pounds, but has still splashed out recently on a Fitbit, an exercise bike and a trip to Butlins. "Things are getting more difficult every single day," the single mum-of-two admitted. "And yet I'm not putting money aside, I am spending it."

>New research seen by the BBC suggests 25% of people are similarly stretched, but reluctant to stop spending. The Grant Thornton and Retail Economics report surveyed 2,000 UK adults.

>Ms Yaxley, who lives near Norwich with her daughters Pearl, nine, and six-year-old Tallulah, earns around £16,000 a year through various jobs in the education sector. She has borrowed £6,000 from her mother to help make ends meet, and knows that she should be trying to pay her back, in addition to saving a bit every month given the rising cost of living. But she said this rarely happens, because she's prioritising spending on treats for her family after a tough few years during the pandemic.

>That has included spending £100 on a foldable exercise bike and £430 on a weekend trip to Butlins holiday resort over the school holidays. Ms Yaxley said she does feel "guilty" for spending on non-essential items, particularly given the rising cost of petrol and food. But after two years of Covid restrictions, she feels like the family deserves it.

>Joseph Hussain, a paralegal and student from London, recently spent £300 on rare vinyl which, he admits, "I didn't really need". The 27-year-old, who earns £27,000, sets himself a monthly allowance but said this quickly goes on petrol, food and other essential items. So he turns to credit cards and buy-now-pay-later companies to fund purchases, which recently included a whole new wardrobe, a Lego bouquet, video games.

>"I can't really describe it, I think you just get into this mindset of, well, 'I've already spent so much this month, so I have permission to spend a bit more'," he said. Joseph admitted he does question whether he should be spending on these items, given the soaring cost of living but doesn't want to miss out on things that bring him joy.

>"There's no way on earth I need these plastic Lego flowers or stuff like that, it's just that I very much enjoy them, they make me happy and therefore that's my philosophy in general," he said.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-62148525

Remember, lads, if you're struggling because of rising inflation it's probably your fault for buying Lego bouquets and avocado toast.