In the before times I'd occasionally walk home from work, which Google Maps says is 3.1 miles, and have no trouble with it. I've just had to drop my car off roughly halfway across this route and walk back. Admittedly it was always the hardest half of the walk home from work as it's mostly uphill, but I'm absolutely fucked now.

Do you remember that PC game that installed a fake virus to your system? In game you'd be flying around a la Astroids fighting icon images of all the programs you had installed. As you progressed your desktop icons would be gradually changed to in-game sprites, as if the game was leaking into the rest of your computer.
It was really quite cool, but your screen was become littered with debris until you completed the game.

Zool sort of reminded me of that.

>>450391
I mainly remember it being a giant advert for Chupa Chups.

I was shocked to learn recently that Zool is held in very high regards in retro gaming circles. I always assumed it was just a generic cartoony platformer, that also happens to shill lollies. Maybe I ought to revisit it.

>>450394
Zool was incredibly hyped up before it was launched, billed as Amiga's rival to Sonic the Hedgehog. The gameplay wasn't on the same level as Sonic, but you'd expect that when you're comparing the resources of Sega against a few blokes from Sheffield.

I always hated Sonic because I never understood if I was supposed to be going fast or KOing enemies and gathering gold rings. The resolution was too low to do both effectively, at least for me anyway, maybe I needed to Get Good™.

Zool actually got a remastered version recently.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tezdvnTqqrA

My daughter went to a birthday party at the weekend where only six kids from her school turned up. She's come home today with a thank you card from the birthday girl, a slice of cake and some chocolates. I bet that's absolutely crushing as a parent.

>>450402
Six is just about okay, isn't it? I don't have kids, but I was kids once. If it's not a lot then I agree it must be horrendous, but I'd have been happy with six friends.

>>450402
Woah, Peter Popular over here with his parties of more than six friends. Why don't you piss off back to Normandy with the rest of the normaloids, Norman? Wait, no, your name's Peter already, bollocks.

>>450403
My daughter isn't actually in her class this year. There's about 45 kids in her year, which is split into an outright year one class and the older/smarter kids are in a year one/two class with the younger kids from year two. I think my daughter was invited because they didn't get enough people saying they'd attend from the birthday girl's class.

As far as I'm aware they booked the party venue for 10 kids and there were 7 in total including the birthday girl; 2 never bothered replying to the invite so her cousin and brother were drafted in at the last minute. The mum is really nice as well.

>>450404
My sixth birthday was at McDonald's when they used to have the pirate party ship upstairs and all the boys from my class turned up and it was awesome.

HL emailed me today to call my portfolio 'a little risky' and linked me to a guide explaining the basics of what risk is. Cheeky cunts, my stock holdings are mostly defensive and all bluechip, my largest holding is KO which carries lower risk than the human race - no explanation was given for this abuse.

>>450403
>>450404
When you're in primary school everyone is mates and you have massive parties. I also went Maccies on my sixth and it was sick. Jamie Oliver can go marinade himself, my kids are getting a McDonalds party and if you didn't get one then I can only assume your mother didn't love you.

>>450405
>There's about 45 kids in her year, which is split into an outright year one class and the older/smarter kids are in a year one/two class with the younger kids from year two

You fucking what. So they've just created two new year groups on different months? How do they manage the obvious population bulge at the start of the year from all the responsible parents?

>>450406
My daughter is one of the older kids, so she's currently in the Year 1/2 class. Next year she'll be in an outright Year 2 class with the older/smarter half of the current Year 1 class, with the rest of the current Year 1 class forming next year's Year 1/2 class.

The year after that she'll be in the Year 3/4 class while the others will form an outright Year 3 class. It means there's ~15 kids she's constantly with and 15 kids she's with every other year.

>>450406
I don't think they do Maccies birthday parties anymore lad.

>>450409
McDonalds not only still do parties but they also trick autistic 9-year olds into working for them:
https://www.stokesentinel.co.uk/news/local-news/would-you-like-fries-that-2906142

>>450414
She's got a more impressive CV than I do at least.

Won a thousand quid on my first month of premium bonds, get in.

>>450418
Ginsters Pasties for everyone.

Yet again, I have a substantial piece of work that I procrastinated on all day and which was already difficult to reach.

>>450418
Now you just need to repeat this win every month for 833 years to be able to afford a comfortable retirement today. Easy.

I need a new toilet seat. What should I be looking out for? It needs to be sturdy.

>>450428

>>450431
What's the middle hole for?

>>450435

Bog roll?

Can anyone recommend me a good single futon/sofa bed? A one you could actually use, not just one you throw in the spare room just in case. Really high quality, comfortable ones. I want to get some for our crew rooms at work.

>>450275
>My car is making funny noises after changing gear.

Here again. Took it to the garage and they confirmed the noise was from a bolt not being fastened properly when the clutch was replaced.

This is the third time I've had work done on my car, all different garages, and they've left something loose when they've finished with it.

>>450438
I know a guy who's always talking on Facebook about how clueless mechanics are. He's one of those slightly intelligent bullshit merchants who seems convinced that he knows more than anyone in the world because he worked out something fairly basic on his own, but the examples he gives of the shambolic service he has experienced certainly suggest that they really are often inept.

>>450439

I'm someone who is 'into' cars and have worked on my own for many years. I've taken cars in to real garages for work I couldn't do/didn't want to do, and honestly it does seem like there are more shite mechanics than good ones. I'm by no means an expert, but I do know how things should be done, and shortcuts, bodges, and downright unsafe work sadly seems to be quite common. There are surely a lot of excellent mechanics that genuinely are spot on and care and are reasonably priced, but these sorts of lads are the ones tucked away at the back of industrial estates, who don't advertise, who work alone or with one other lad, don't know what google is, so the only way you'll ever find them is word of mouth. So if you want to find a good mechanic, find someone who has a classic car that actually runs, and ask them who they use. Guarantee they're a good one.

The problem with this is, these boys will all be retired or dead in 20 years or so. Maybe all the young lads who spend their time now tuning Skylines just naturally grow into these hermit old men mechanics at some point, I don't really know the process.

>>450440
I'm lucky I live 5 minutes away from a VW group specialist. I trust them servicing my Skoda because they only work on those engines and part of their business is tuning. Prices are less than dealership, but still all genuine parts and they're registered to update the electronic service history.

>>450440
The mechanic my parents have used for as long as I can remember used to operate out of a nondescript industrial estate but now works out of a garage behind his house. I've moved so it's been almost ten years since I've used him, but I can't remember him having any signage or doing any marketing.

I've just looked him up on Facebook and half the pictures are of a Mk II Escort he was restoring.

>>450438

>This is the third time I've had work done on my car, all different garages, and they've left something loose when they've finished with it.

I had my brakes done once and when I came back to pick my car up, the mechanic was just in the process of putting it back down on the lift, and then told me to get in and back it out of the shop myself. But he forgot to pump the brakes after replacing the pads, and also didn't tell me to pump them, and so I unwittingly backed into another customer's almost brand new Golf GTI in the car park. Luckily, I only left some black rubber streaks on the Golf's front wing and there was no visible damage on my bumper, but there could have been loads more damage than that.

I think I'm on the way out.

>>450448
Where are you going lad? Shop?

>>450448
Pick us up a Twix

I've spent most of the last two days in bed. Yesterday it was justifiable cause I had a big day/night out on Monday so I was recovering, but today I just feel like I've wasted a day. But I felt so lethargic I just couldn't even move. Is this what being old is? Takes you two entire days to recover from a dozen or so beers and a few lines?

Anyway my original plans for the week have been totally scuppered by that, I'm back at work Friday and despite having arguably a very successful time getting wankered and acquiring some very decent sex, I'm feeling quite down. I might just have a trip up to the Asda and just buy a load of chocolate and snacks and spend the evening watching UFO videos or something, then spend tomorrow more productively, but I think it's sunk cost at this point.

I always do this when I have time off. I tell myself I'll use the time to work on hobbies and give myself some self care, but then I end up persuading myself that I'll feel like a lonely sad act if I don't spend at least some of the time socialising and what have you. But then after the fact I wish I would have just spent it locked in my room working on music nobody will ever hear instead.

Such is life I suppose.

>>450456
Have you tested for Covid?

>>450457

Fair point. It does feel a lot like that time I had parvo.

Are the tests still free at the chemists or what?

How long do you reckon a dentists anaesthetic will last? Appointment will be over by 1500, I'll have a filling put in. I was going to have a date in the afternoon/evening but this may be silly unless she has a thing for Slavoj Žižek.

>>450459
3 hours.

>>450460

Lower jaw anaesthetics can last up to five hours. Upper jaw is usually shorter, because you can numb individual teeth with less of the anaesthetic.

How did Drake get away with blatantly ripping off Sheffield Wednesday for his clothing brand's logo?

His appreciation for British streetwear and culture is no secret, and he's basically solely responsible for taking that weird modern amalgamation of football hooligan and hip hop aesthetic we associate with roadmen over to the US. Stone Island sales in the US skyrocketed after he declared it his favourite clothing brand, and that's literally a brand that was invented by Italians for English football hooligans because a different brand discontinued a jacket popular with the rowdy lads.

As someone with a casual interest in design, however, the name is very cute. OVO with the full logo being an owl, then the typemark just makes a little owl face, sort of like a visual onomatopoeia.

Still, whenever I see a tee shirt or something I think "up the Owls fuck the Blades we're all Wednesday aren't we", and then realise the person wearing it isn't even Wednesday.

>>450462
To make this shit post even shitter, I dropped my phone into the toilet after I hit send. I got what I deserved.

>>450462

I always think of the BBC Micro rather than Sheffield Wednesday.

>>450462

There's nowt more tragic than the Wednesday/United rivalry. They're both shit and only Sheffieldians care.

Funny city like that is Sheff. Very proud of itself, even though nobody has ever heard of it. You get people wearing Def Lepard shirts as if they weren't one of the worst bands ever to have existed, and as if Artic Monkeys aren't a million times more relevant and worthy of caring about (even if they're also shit), and they're all dead bumsore that they're not Leeds.

Very nice place these days, don't get me wrong. There's much worse places you could live than Sheffield. But that has always stood out about it to me.

>>450465
I'll admit I've never been to Sheffield, but they have the Snooker World Championship and The Full Monty is set there, so I'm sure it's the absolute jewel in the crown of South Yorkshire. I'd rather visit Sheffield than Doncaster, Barnsley, Rotherham, or anywhere in Derbyshire. Also, Leeds wishes it was Manchester, Manchester wishes it was London, and London wishes it was New York, so really Sheffield is only four embarrassing delusions away from somewhere that's actually worth visiting.

I think I'm going to breakup with my girlfriend. She's done very well career wise despite not having burnished academic credentials. She picked a job that is in demand and has worked through and as a result is getting very high salaries (100k +)

Happy for her, and have supported her all the way. I am still working out what I'd like to be for my life and have done a bit of chopping and changing.

She routinely says annoying shit like 'don't know if I should take this job as it only pays 80k plus bonuses' and stuff like that and I find it a bit obnoxious and now everything revolves around this very important, but the only facet of her life she is intersted in now.

I find it kind of demoralising because it shits over what I'm doing and also implies that I'm not doing very well (think 50k salary).

Having a good career isn't a personality trait and it's just grating on me. I'm not envious I don't think because otherwise I'd just stay with her and ride out her good salary, I just don't want to spend my life with somebody that has nothing to talk about but their next pay bracket.

Am I being sour grapes? I just find it all quite obnoxious at the minute.

>>450468
>Am I being sour grapes?

Yes, she's enjoying some success in her life for a change, has found something she's good at and is quite naturally sharing her life with you. I know it's hard but why not try being happy for her and accept that in any relationship you're hearing about 40 hours a week of tedium you don't care about.

I'd class myself as doing well and with an exciting career but I'm only on 40k

>>450469
I enjoy hearing about it and I've enjoyed watching her success, what I don't enjoy is her implying that anything not up to her very high earning standard is somehow shit, knowing full well that that includes me.

>>450470
>what I don't enjoy is her implying that anything not up to her very high earning standard is somehow shit, knowing full well that that includes me.

Can you give some examples of this?

>>450471
Like what I said in my OP really but I can give pretty much verbatim 'I don't know if I should take this job earning 80k, it's not a very good salary and it only gives bonuses and stock options and even they get taxed, pretty poor salary really'.

It's all relative but I wouldn't take my 50k and tell my friend working in a shop on minimum wage it's a shit salary and I am annoyed by it.

Similarly judgey comments about friends doing different things to her, how they're wasting their life etc because they're travelling or whatever as if the only way to win at life is to be maxxing your salary.

>>450470
You should have thought about that before choosing mediocrity.

Or did it choose you?

>>450474
Great bait, but I haven't chose anything. I'm trying to try a few career paths so I can decide which one to stomach for the next however long.

I'm in my 20s so plenty of time to grow into something.

>>450475
Yeah, whatever you must tell yourself to ease that inferiority complex. You're either safe in the knowledge you can earn similar money soon and the delay was entirely your choice or you complain about how her self-evaluation demeans your worth and achievements. Doing both as you've just done is just nonsense.

>>450476
Ok, m8.

>>450470
Sounds like you're taking this personally when really you need to mentally cut the wages in half to translate. It's relative, she's going to look at 80k differently because she's in a different position to you and there's nothing wrong with trying to fuck The Man by getting the best possible deal.

If you still get pissed off then raise the point about work/life balance and how much that 20k is actually worth after tax to see if she might be able to negotiate Fridays off (where she can clean the house, do the ironing and other woman-stuff). Put things in that perspective of looking at how much time/effort is worth.

>>450472
>Similarly judgey comments about friends doing different things to her, how they're wasting their life etc because they're travelling or whatever as if the only way to win at life is to be maxxing your salary.

It depends on how old you are and realistically how you're coping with the inevitability of it all being quite meaningless. Despite popular belief, money is quite important and I say that as someone who largely gave it up for a life of public service. You're going to get old eventually.

Is she starting to nest? Have you noticed her doing doing some pelvic lifts and handstands after sex? do you need to start thinking about taking magnesium and drinking pineapple juice to maximise your load? Do I have an impregnation fetish and need to find out if there's a decent kink community for it?

It sounds like you're struggling to cope with the fact that the power dynamics in the relationship has changed.

You've gone from being the breadwinner and the supportive one to finding yourself eclipsed by her earnings potential whilst you're still figuring out what you want to do in life. The roles have reversed and you find yourself feeling inadequate.

>>450480
Or it's just annoying when someone bleats on about their money all the time.

>>450480
Men who support women to foster some kind of paternalistic fantasy and not through a genuine desire to see someone grow as much as possible are inherently abusive.

Oh look, it's the Britfa Simping Hour again is it? Where you all get your little pork sausages going over a bird you've never met, instead of giving your good ladm9 the benefit of the doubt? You set of fannies.

>>450480

In that case it depends, is she being equally as supportive in fostering him to develop, like he did for her during all those years she was a layabout parasite grad student living on his money? Presumably, at least.

Just anecdotally, I've seen a few of my mates in similar positions, and it seems very much the case that women are big fat hypocrites as far as money and status is concerned. A man is capable of treating his partner like an equal regardless of earnings, even if it is in a bit of a patronising "chivalrous" way; but when the shoe is on the other foot, women can turn absolutely reptilian about it.

It's often tied into a peer pressure sort of thing- One of my mates found himself in a relationship with a woman way above his pay grade, she was a high-powered accountant or lawyer or something, and he was basically a porter at the time. Couldn't have more of a disparity in pay. And the thing is, they got on fantastically. They were an amazing couple on a personal level- But you could tell, you could read her unease when it was her mates we were around. You know, her posh, rich, upper-middle class mates, around the dinner table casually ordering the really expensive wines and whatnot; she felt ashamed that her fella only made 20k a year.

It wasn't even really about the money, it was more a sort of like... She'd broken a taboo, like they'd found a video of her getting fucked by a dog or something. She could do better, she was cheapening herself.

... Anyway. The thing is that the single-minded pursuit of wealth is often an indicator of shallowness. It's not an attractive trait. It's nice if someone enjoys their work and it's great if they can help you both afford a decent quality of life, but it's not the only thing in life, and I can sympathise. I'd get bloody annoyed if money was all my missus talked about.

There's a lot of shit psychoanalysis going on here. If she's spending all day banging on bragging about her massive wad it's going to be a bit annoying. Do a gender swap and imaging the post was about a male friend of his bragging about his pay instead.

If she's also chatting shit devaluing her friends and looking down on people for not making as much as her, it's going to be even more annoying, and OP would be justified in also feeling a bit insecure.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULeDlxa3gyc

>>450484
>when the shoe is on the other foot, women can turn absolutely reptilian about it.

My former boss had a bit of a domestic over the phone with her boyfriend in the middle of the office. I can't even remember what she said, but it was very emasculating.

She was definitely unhinged, that one. The people working on the floor below knew if she was in a bad mood because they'd hear her stamping her boots as she walked.

Thanks for some of the more sensible lads in here giving a balanced perspective. Some absolutely crazy made up assumptions being applied or inferred from one post.

A few things - I'm not insecure about my salary. 50K is decent at my age (mid-late 20s) regardless and I am happy it provides me with enough. Considering I've done several different types of jobs since graduating I'm pretty happy all things considered and it means I don't wake up at 40 wondering 'what if', at least when it comes to careers.

Me and my girlfriend met on similar salaries, she stuck with her path, on the option of moving up on mine I had a wobble and said 'is this really me? Is this what I was made for or should I dip my toes in what I think might be my passion and see whilst I've no mortgage and kids and my biggest worry is paying rent?'. I could have taken that road but I chose not to, and could, in theory, go back.

I of course am happy for her success. In fact she's had MANY a wobble, and as with most success once one brick was in place, which was the hardest, the rest fell in relatively quickly. I am delighted she's happy and she is on the whole a wonderful supportive person who I genuinely think wants the best for me. Also you know when you really care about somebody because you are happy they are happy and getting what you think they deserve.

Ironically her ex earned a good whack but always told her she was meant for lesser things, so I've made a point about supporting her.

My main thing was I just thought it was a bit inconsiderate. I actually raised it with her after my teary here and she said 'yeah sorry, that is quite inconsiderate' because naturally if you're trying your best and somebody is shitting all over what they've got when their best is much better, it obviously is a bit difficult on midweek morning.

I just didn't want to raise it because I was scared of looking jealous/envious because I want her to succeed as much as possible, but preferably without this becoming the dominant thing behind everything. I noticed a very quick change to 'I earn this and these people are not as good as me' and that's what I was concerned about developing.

Sorry to derail the midweek thread. On another note, it's really windy.

>>450487
My building is covered in scaffolding for roofing work that's been going on for about 6 months longer than it was supposed to. Half the plastic sheeting has come loose and is flapping about in the wind, and the scaffolders themselves always seem like they're half-drunk and don't give a fuck. I'll probably be killed by a falling steel pole in the next few days.

Well I just read a thread on rudgwick about "orgasm inequality" and good grief. There really is no end to how myopic women can be.

I'm quite sure the majority of men are terrible in bed, but on the flipside of the coin, the amount of effort it takes to please a man is so much lower it hardly bears mentioning. most lasses are also shite in bed, it's just that you can still get a bloke to spaff with the barest minimum of effort, so it's not a gender disparity, it's just that women have been coasting through on easy mode all this time.

I'm absolutely not wrong here, I will die on this hill.

>>450489
I have that death-grip masturbation dick. I have never ejaculated into a woman. It's possible that's why they never stick around and I've only had sex a handful of times in my life. They read your post and assume it's something wrong with them. Anyway, I think it would be great if we could acknowledge that nutting with another person in the room, when you're not used to that, can sometimes be very difficult indeed, while still accepting that yes, some women can say perversely selfish things on a forum designed specifically for that purpose.

>>450489
Mate, you seriously need to stop going out of your way to read things that will rile you up. You're becoming no different than a Daily Mail reader.

>>450489
Why are you reading rudgwicksteamshow.co.uk? It's an absolute shit-tip and like twitter, facebook and 4chan, a sign of how bad the modern centralised internet community is.

I do all the work to be honest and that's how I like it.

>>450490
I'm not convinced the death-grip thing is real, certainly not from my experience as a compulsive wanker. You might want to look into this.

>>450492
I've tried; I don't think there is any proper research whatsoever into it. My initial post did suggest it's more of a social anxiety thing, but I don't know how to test this theory.

>>450491
I'll take credit for normalising rudgwicksteamshow.co.uk venting on here. I'm only partially sorry, it's nice to have some fellow crabs in my bucket.

>>450492
I can kind of see it, but yeah my lifetime of indulgence hasn't ruined my penis. The drugs and alcohol have had a much bigger impact, but I can still get a ferocious rod if she's saying the right things.

>>450490

I often find it difficult to cum if I'm pissed/on drugs, and if the girl is too wet and slippery. Sometimes I find it really difficult to tell if they're exasperated or disappointed and want me to finish, so their vagina can have a rest from being relentlessly bagged out, or if they're dead chuffed to have a bloke who can jackhammer them for hours.

Hard to tell, it really doesn't help that women only make one type of noise that doubles up for laughing, crying, cumming and being in severe pain.

>>450496

SSRIs are very effective at treating social anxiety, but they also make it harder to cum. Oh, the terrible irony.

>>450500
I was with a lass briefly who had studied abroad in Japan for a year or two, and was a bit of a weeb princess. Whenever we'd have sex she would make the most outrageous hentai noises, and it was an instant stiffykiller for me. It's the only time I've ever struggled to keep hard, and she was gorgeous with comedically massive melons.

I'm getting déjà vu typing this, I think the lad in the embarrassing stories thread was right and we're all going senile.

Why does everything feel like it has no authenticity these days? I know that sounds a bit teenlad but its all so dull. It feels like the suits got their hands onto everything and its the internet that got them there. I don't know. I'm drunk and I've been watching old television and news bits again.

>>450504
You know what's weird? In the 1990s, New Age music was massive. People loved Enigma, and Era, and Karl Jenkins, and all that hippie shit. It was in the charts, and it was a fully recognised genre that got played on the radio and everything. I can't imagine anything like that ever happening again, because They™ won't let it. It would make the music industry too unpredictable to let so many people behave so inexplicably all at the same time.

I know there was that craze for sea shanties a year or two ago, but it just wasn't the same. It wasn't a movement; it was one TikTok video and some coattail-riding.

Oh my God, there’s something really dark going on with this comedy-drama I’m watching. I’m going to cry, fuck sake.

>>450504

The internet has given us untrammelled access to everything ever, but in doing so it has mixed everything into a contextless beige paste of postmodernity. Whatever the cool kids in Berlin are wearing will be in every branch of Zara and H&M within a couple of months. A watered-down version of whatever the cool DJs are playing will be the soundtrack to next month's bank adverts.

It's impossible for distinctive scenes and subcultures to evolve, because that requires a distinctive niche; the internet has created the exact opposite of the Galapagos Islands. Everything is cross-pollinated with everything else, without regard for time or place.

Old records used to come in old sleeves with old pictures of old people wearing old clothes. Those record sleeves bore the patina of age, the music was heard through the crackle and hiss of a dusty groove. Getting an old record required rummaging through the crates at a second-hand shop or raiding the collection of an older sibling or a cool uncle. Every step in the journey between artist and listener carried meaning that anchored that work in a broader cultural context. Today, all music comes through the same streaming pipe, digitally remastered and served up by an algorithm.

We are already living in a weird sci-fi future, we just didn't notice. I might be sitting at a bus stop at the end of my street, but I'm staring at a shiny oblong that is seamlessly connected to several billion other shiny oblongs. We all carry these strange little portals to an alternate reality; if you don't carry one, you're either a pensioner or a weirdo.

Back in the early 90s, I carried an Apple Newton - a failed early precursor to the iPhone. It was about the size of a paperback book, ran on four AA batteries and had truly atrocious handwriting recognition, but it also had a cellular modem. At a time when normal people were just barely starting to take an interest in the internet, I could sit in a cafe and check my email on a handheld device.

That strange sci-fi gadget inevitably attracted attention and I often found myself giving a demonstration to a curious onlooker. The reactions of those strangers were, in hindsight, incredibly telling. Serious Business Types who carried briefcases and massive mobile phones immediately understood the potential and immediately wanted one. Literally everyone else was completely bewildered, staring blankly at an object that seemed extraordinarily sophisticated but completely useless. Why would anyone want to check their email in a cafe?

In some strange way, I think we've all become yuppies. We've all been so deeply absorbed into the techno-informational-industrial complex that no-one ever asks why. We all feel a vague unease about being permanently plugged in to this maddening metaverse full of scams and fake news and Russian bots, but none of us can imagine a world without it. The pre-internet world doesn't seem like a different time, it seems like a different universe.

In 1996, Francis Fukuyama argued that history had effectively ended because western liberal democracy had comprehensively won; liberal democracy was so superior to any other political system to be the inevitable end-point for the development of any society. The rise of China and the resurgence of Russian totalitarianism has obviously proved him wrong. The actual end of history might have far more to do with major tech companies than politics. Governments collapse, borders change, revolutions rise and fall, but nobody can imagine a future that doesn't involve most of the world's population constantly feeding their most intimate thoughts to a monopolistic tech company.

It doesn't matter whether you take the red pill or the blue pill, because you end up back in The Matrix either way.

>>450508
>In some strange way, I think we've all become yuppies.

I agree.

>>450509
What does it mean?

>>450508
Sometimes you still see things going, "Let me tell you what life is like in Sweden", but I never enjoy those now because it's the same as here. Even if you check out the music scene of Kyrgyzstan or Ethiopia, it's definitely different and that's good but you can't rely on it. Pick a random online radio station in Brazil and they're probably playing Taylor Swift just like us.

>>450508
>Today, all music comes through the same streaming pipe, digitally remastered and served up by an algorithm.

I'll have you know I recently bought a physical album by post - the textured card packaging and print, inserts and colour palette complete the music as an entire piece of appreciable artwork. This album will stand as part of a handpicked display upon my homes dedicated music feature, once I can get off my arse to make it.

Almost by definition niche is away from the mainstream, you're not going to find it on the side of a fucking bus.

[spoiler]Lmao what an absolute cunt. You do better talking about furries.[/i]


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQZfGa5t4e8

>>450517
>[spoiler]..[/i]
gaaaay

>>450517

Buying music on physical media is artificial now, it's a postmodern pretence. A vinyl record pressed in 2022 is a hyperreal simulation of a record, "real" only in the same sense that Las Vegas or a mock-Tudor Barratt house is real. It tangibly exists, but is devoid of truth. The purpose of the object is purely symbolic.

And so on and so on... *sniff*

>>450526

It does amuse me to no end that hipsters will pay forty quid for a vinyl pressing of an album that was definitely recorded, mixed, and mastered on Pro Tools.

But at the same time, I can see the appeal if you already have a big collection of legitimate old analogue vinyl, from an OCD perspective if nothing else. You want to be able to put them all on the same shelf neatly, and play them on the same equipment.

Last night I watched HIGNFY for the first time in years. I know they've been phoning it in for ages, but it's got even worse.

>>450531
I’m occasionally tempted to watch it if to know how little Paul Merton can do and still earn a living. However, I’ve yet to build the courage and I don’t think I’ve seen an episode since 2019, probably.

>>450533
Full your boots.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUONPtTKvDw

>>450528
This vid really sums up my own feelings on vinyl.

People who tell you vinyl sounds better are fucking morons. I like to buy vinyl because:
A) 98% of my listening is on spotify and I buy vinyl to give money to the few artists I really like.
B) It's something to collect
C) It's just fun and an enjoyable way to really "listen" to music instead of just having music playing while you're doing other things.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oUYORcXBN6E

>>450531
It's all right. I like it. The guests were not good, though; that Asian woman (Ria Lina?) was on it once before and I'm very distressed that they invited her back. She has all of 2015's hottest takes, and nothing else.

Paul Merton has never been funny.

If you didn't like last night's perfectly enjoyable episode, I would advise you against watching any more, because even though it's great, there's something unimaginably offensive about the "guest presenter" being one of the same seven people every week for the past five years or more. Jo Brand, Martin Clunes, Stephen Mangan, Alexander Armstrong, Victoria Coren, David Mitchell, and that's it. They had Clive Myrie recently, so that was refreshing, but it's blindingly obvious that they don't want to be refreshing most weeks.

HIGNFY must be condemned for allowing sociopaths Boris Johnson and Jacob Rees Mogg a platform, which they used to ingratiate themselves with the British public so several years later they could hold positions of power and still be looked upon affectionately by fuckwits. Classic Bozza he got stuck on a zipline. Classic Bozza he was just having a few drinks after work it's fine top lad. Classic Jacob he was snoozing at PMQs. Classic Jacob, Grenfell Tower victims brought it on themselves.

>>450539
>C) It's just fun and an enjoyable way to really "listen" to music instead of just having music playing while you're doing other things.
This is it for me too, it's easy to whack on a 20-hour playlist on Spotify and zone out, but putting on a vinyl record is a tactile and present experience.

>>450545
>Paul Merton has never been funny.
I hear that. People (apparently) rave about The Masterson Inheritance but it's fucking awful. Even his performance on Just A Minute, they've a strange quality of dull energy. I can't bare to mention Who's Line Is It Anyway. At this point he's simply a familiar voice/face. That's not to say he's not interesting in non-comedy roles; I've heard a few interviews which were okay.

>>450546
It's not their fault nobody on the left has a personality or sense of humour.

>>450550

Hat Trick productions have long been collaborators with the state security apparatus, and together they unleashed the brain virus of political correctness, victimhood culture and identity politics etc etc which surgically dismantled the let's ability to present anything recognisable as a human face or personality.

There's an alternate timeline where we live in a socialist utopia where all your gas and lecky is free, but the price you have to pay is that Bernard Manning is still on telly, we still have the Imperial system and women get looked at on the tube. As a result this site would never have anything to whinge about.

>>450550
Jess Phillips has both of those things.

>>450555
You'll be furious at the adverts that came when Pointless Celebrities ended, then. In a couple of minutes, they plugged:
>Gentleman Jack (about lesbians in the past)
>Killing Eve (promoting the lesbian relationship between the two main characters)
Followed by Casualty, which began with "Previously on Casualty...", with a man saying, "I think I'm in love with you", to, you guessed it, another man.

Just one of those three would have been acceptable and fine and even commendable. Three in two minutes is enough to make anyone bust out the rare Pepes and Moonman playlist.

>>450558
Why does it matter?

>>450559
Not enough black people.

>>450557
Sorry, I should have been clearer.

It's not their fault nobody on the left has an interesting personality or good sense of humour.

>>450561
As you mentioned Jacob Rees-Mogg, I assumed those were not necessary.

>>450564
I didn't, but at least Rees-Mogg is kind of interesting and noteworthy in an eccentric sense, plus he seems happy enough to be the butt of a joke.

There's nobody in Labour that's got a cult of personality like, say, Bozza or Are Nige. They're all either PPE graduates vetted by focus groups to be bland non-people or they take themselves far too seriously to be able to lighten up.

Today I have driven through Wolverhampton. It's very enriched. I think the only white people I actually saw were a gang of teenage mothers, a fat man on a mobility scooter and various men in hi-vis.

So I've been living at home lately after nearly a decade away. Consequently I'm looking after myself, doing my own cooking, washing, dishes, and so on. You know, like a grown up does.

You'd think my folks would be happy with that aye? Nah, mam's screwing because she can't have a dig at me over owt. She had a go at me this morning because I got up in the night for a piss and it caused the dog to bark. She's desperate to be able to tell me off for something.

Do any of you have parents who aren't neurotic cunts? What's it like?

Are there any fun characters from the Star Wars sequel trilogy? Prequels had Grievous, Maul, Dooku, Kit Fisto, Plo Koon, Mace Windu. Lovely stuff. Original trilogy had Han Solo, Chewie, Lando, Boba Fett, Ewoks, Vader. Iconic. Sequels have boring Rey, boring Kylo, boring Finn, Oscar Isaac, Asian woman, Laura Linney. It just doesn't compare.

>>450609
Maz Kanata was sort of noteable, but I did just have to go three google searches deep to remember what her name was, and which movie she even appears in.

>>450609
I'm sure it's just got to do with you, understandably, not remember their names, but I don't like the implication the actors in the 3rd trilogy are the problem. Good actors, schizophrenically batty writing. However, I also have to disagree that half those characters you mentioned from the prequels were any good. Darth Maul is just a bloke with facepaint who's only noteworthy in my opinion for being voiced by Peter Serafinowicz, with everyone else but Grievous is more or less a non-entity.

>>450609

I seem to remember there was a little robot, or some kind of alien guy, that I really liked in the final one. Everyone in the cinema laughed when he went "waheeey" near the end.

I mean I can't even remember what he looked like mind, so clearly it wasn't that memorable. I think it was basically the only good part of the movie though, because I can't remember a fucking thing about the rest of it either.

I just bumped into an old co-worker who opened with "Hey you've gained weight". Motherfucker.

>>450614
Can't handle the top bantz.

My MP's a paedo.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leeds-61026348

>>450614
Well, were they wrong?

Blogpost:

Turning 30 this year, I decided in January that it was no age for me to be living off microwave meals, so I made it a goal of mine to learn to cook. I focused on the basics at first, I read a very good book called 'Salt, Fat, acid, Heat' which educates you on those components and how they combine to make good food. I then decided to honour my family history and learn Italian cooking. I've been reading and following this massive cookbook 'The Essentials of Classic Italian Cooking' (by a long dead Italian cook, no I'm not a shill) and I'm so, so pleased with how I've developed, what I've learnt and the actual joy in finding this hobby. I cannot believe what junk I was putting away before I did this, and how rewarding and simple it is to make nice food.

>>450620
>by a long dead Italian cook, no I'm not a shill
I'm very confused by this portion of your post, but well done on becoming less of a manchild. Go check out Rachel Roddy's stuff in the Guardian, her recipes are generally very good.

>>450620
Great to read. Have you tinkered with baking? It's extremely satisfying, and there's a lot of nice food science to delve into.

>>450620
> long dead
Died September 29, 2013

>>450621
To explain, I was once banned (for a long time) here for 'shilling' an obscure Japanese sex toy brand in a post that read far less like an advert than >>450620 does.

>>450624
What's that got to do with Stanley Tucci?

>>450620

Goof lad. I don't get why so many people are so shit at cooking, honestly, because I've always found it so much fun. I get that you don't always have the time or effort to bother with it, and I'll resort to a Chicago Town frozen pizza at least once a week myself, so I'm not some culinary snob. I even understand why you'd use jarred sauces, much to cheflad's annoyance.

But like. Have you ever been really baked and gone to the supermarket, and come home with a load of shite to experiment with? I'd recommend it, because nothing satisfies the munchies like a meal of your own creation; and the thing is it's only pretentious Michelin bullshit that sets me apart from Michele Roux or whoever the fuck. All the world's most renowned chefs were drug addled lunatics, I know because I read that book that time.

Anyway I make some mean fajitas and a shit hot lasagne thanks to this.

>>450620
I can't cook for shit, but I cook all sorts for myself now because it's only me eating it. If you'd like a pro tip, fuck buying books; buy a wok. Once you have a wok, just buy random ingredients and put them in the wok. Well done; you are now a chef. Enjoy your pineapple, pak choi, beef jerky and ravioli. The books don't mention that so it's like your own personal secret when you eat it. Don't actually try and eat that; it sounds foul. It was just an example.

Remind me in the morning lads: I'm going to order some weights and a bike. Don't let me forget and spend all day on Elden Ring again.

My work schedule nowadays has destroyed any routine of exercise I used to have, but I'm going to go for a ride and lift some heavy things on my days off so I don't waste away to total skinnyfat.

>>450628
Are you more likely to exercise at home than, say, if you got a gym membership? There's 24-hour ones all over the place nowadays, and the "I'm paying for this" factor can sometimes be a motivator.

>>450628
Are you more likely to exercise at home than, say, if you got a gym membership? There's 24-hour ones all over the place nowadays, and the "I'm paying for this" factor can sometimes be a motivator.

Just did my first open mic at 30 with some lad who graciously played the guitar for me, and people fucking liked it, it was class.

So fuck you whoever posted on here ten years ago saying I was shit at singing, I got hugs from the audience and the guitarist asked me if I wanted to do one more. And everybody fucking clapped.

>>450629

Nah I'm much more likely to at home, where I can just pick them up whenever I want. If I have to actually get dressed and make myself look presentable to travel to the place I'm doing it, I'm far more likely to sack it off.

>>450631

Congrats mate, there's actually nothing as thrilling as playing for a crowd. And even if you're legitimately not great at singing or whatever, that doesn't mean you can't be entertaining. The best bands and singers etc carry a charisma and stage presence that goes well beyond their performing ability, while watching a technically flawless but completely dry classical recital is boring as fuck.

>>450631
Hey, I remember you from ten years ago! You're still shit at singing.

On the subject of cooking, I've made Chinese that actually tastes like Chinese. I'm not entirely sure how, because all I really added to the veg and noodles was ginger, garlic and soy sauce.

>>450631
Good on you ladm8.

I shouldn't have stocked up on reduced Christmas fodder. I'm fucked.

A new lass has started at work. She's a posho horse girl and has massive tits.

>>450641
I once worked with a lass and the only way I could describe her breasts would be as "pleasantly surprising". You'd forget just quite how big they were until she stood up from her desk and you caught sight of them. It happened almost every time and I know other people thought the same about them.

They weren't even massive. She was in shape and they were quite full looking, so they were proportionately large. She tended to wear tight clothing, or at least the size of her breasts turned all of her tops tight, under a leather jacket so they were noticeable even though she wasn't trying to flaunt them.

I saw one of those e-scooters about 20 minutes ago, and a woman was riding it. You'd think that would be totally normal, but it really stuck out like a bizarre thing to see.

>>450643
I have a hard time separating those shiny new e-scooters from the early "hoverboard" nonsense from the mid 2010s. The uni campus I worked on at the time was flush with showy cunts zipping around on them, and there were even ones with built-in speaker so you could... vaguely hear music coming from your feet?

>>450641
Keep us up to date with this.

The new series of Taskmaster is scraping the barrel a bit.

>>450658
Silly socks are so incredibly overdone.

>>450658

They've got two very funny women and Judi Love.

>>450658
So they've just started casting members of the public?

>>450658
Hey, it's Judi Love again. She really is expanding to encompass everything, like the Amazon of comedy.

>>450658

They all seem quite dense, but I would let Bridget Christie peg me to death. Do you think she could be persuaded that hurting my dirtbox would strike a blow against the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society?

>>450666
She's looking good for 50, but is she actually known for anything other than being Stewart Lee's wife?

>>450667
Went to a gig once where Stewart Lee introduced her in character as 'A. Ant', and she came on stage in a huge ant costume, and did ant-based material. It was weird and not very funny.

>>450668
That's pretty much the only stand up material of hers on YouTube.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vIUG2dNeECY

>>450668
>It was weird and not very funny

We already know about Stu, what was she like?

Re: Bridget Christie. She was on some live current affair comedy program a while back, maybe The Last Leg or Channel 4's Alternative Election Night. She was dressed as a scientist and talked about current affairs but as if she was a nerdy scientist. Anyway, it was very unfunny, but I can't find it online so it's possible I dreamt it. Also she looks and speaks like my autistic ex-girlfriend so I have a soft spot for her. The rest of the cast of Taskmaster looks awful, other than Judi Love for a bit of eye candy.

I think I'm turning into a bit of a snob. I don't like being near poor people.

>>450680

Same, except I'm also poor.

>>450684
The archetypal britfa.gs poster.

>>450686
Now hang on, we don’t know if he wants to be pegged to death by a woman he hates yet.

Poor people are shits though. Some pillock hassled me for being near him on the bus last week, but I barely heard him on account of my headphones. Regardless we’re both grown adults and he’s doing this nonsense? I don’t understand how these arseholes are formed. I spent the rest of my afternoon oscillating between confusion and wanting to own a gun; we’ll see how easy going he is with a .45 pointing up his nose.

>>450684
I'm not exactly from a well off background either. It's just when you go to a public space and they're just so... common. A bit feral. Questionable hygiene. Always loud. I can sort of see why people pay money for a National Trust/English Heritage membership so when they go out they're not really going to be exposed to the great unwashed.

The best people in the world are people who are posher than me, but also poorer than me. They were raised right and then they learnt the bitterness that I also feel. Truly the ne plus ultra of humanity.

Rich scum are the worst. Poor scum are less awful than rich scum on average, although of course there are criminals who will rob you among their number, and those are slightly more despicable than even the dad with the signet ring battering his kid in the middle of Alton Towers.

>>450689

That's the thing though innit, there's poor people, then there's common people. I like to think I'm very much the former, but not at all the latter. I've been out with many a bird who are reeking of class, introduced me to all sorts of bohemian hipster gentrified shit, and of course they were all flat out penniless on the dole. You don't have to be a complete lout just because you don't have any money.

I suppose the odd thing for me is that I very much come from the kind of background that should have made me a lager swilling, footy watching, yelling at women in public kind of chav, yet it hasn't. I'm polite and I hold doors open for people. I'm only sexist on the internet and I have an excellent telephone manner. Where did I learn it?

The greatest mystery of our age:

Should I apply to enter the Manchester marathon? It's 16th April next year. I'm out of shape, I could probably run about 60 metres before being out of breath, but I feel if I have a target to work towards I could start getting my arse in gear. A marathon, however, may be a bit much to aim for.

>>450884
That would be hard work.

>>450885
Should I aim for a 5k or a 10k instead? I'd like a good year to prepare for it and I only feel like I could do this once I have something booked in, but it seems too early to be looking for 2023.

>>450886
Ride a bike like a normal person.

>>450884
There is a Manchester 10k. That would make a lot more sense to aim for. Any bugger can run that far with a whole load of training; marathons are a different beast. You have The Wall, where your body starts digesting itself to keep running because it has run out of actual energy from food and stuff. Also, I don't know where you live in Manchester, but there is probably somewhere six miles away that you could walk/run to for practice. You could run into Manchester city centre, or Altrincham, or to the Trafford Centre, or the airport, or Stockport, or Salford Quays, or that big reservoir in Audenshaw, or somewhere nice in north Manchester if anywhere in north Manchester is nice, which I don't think it is. Conversely, running 26 miles is going to require you to run laps. There is absolutely nothing 13 miles away in any direction that it's worth running to and then back again. Manchester is not that big.

Spent my afternoon at a squat doing some DIY for them, replacing the locks and the like. Smell of the place brought back memories. Felt very mature, doing practical stuff to help out some young adults whose trauma and mental issues mean they have to live like that. Come full circle since the times when I hung out with a similar lot.

I bought a tub of Danpak, Lidl's knockoff of Lurpak, and it's frozen solid; after a few days all I can really do is scrape shavings off the top of it. Should I try leaving it out of the fridge for a few hours to defrost and see if that does anything or am I just going to be stuck with a solid block of spread?

>>450904

Butter doesn't belong in the fridge.

>>450905
That's proper butter, not spread.

Love my girlfriend to death but it's gutting she doesn't want to move to London with me. She thinks it's too overwhelming. Prefers cities the size of Bristol, Cardiff, Nottingham etc. I adore London, such an interesting place with tons to do. Ah well...

Sage for pointless blog post, just gutting.

>>450907
You know what to do lad.

>>450908

Dump her for a girl with a bigger arse and an Oyster card? Join the Ukrainian Foreign Legion? Compromise on Manchester?

>>450909
He probably means piss in her arse and then dump her.

How demanding can I be in an interview? Basically I've got one for a job I think I'd be good at, and there are two possible locations for work. One is an okay commute, the other is pretty much unviable by public transport. Is it rude for me to say in the interview I refuse to work in the unviable location?

>>450911
> Is it rude for me to say in the interview I refuse to work in the unviable location?

Be demanding, the job market is hot and in favour of the employee at the moment. But find a way of being polite about it - a long commute is a perfectly reasonable and normal thing to baulk at.

You know that cultural encyclopedia trope in Star Trek, The Orville, and pretty much any furturistic setting? Well that actually exists today at https://archive.org/. Check it out; hundreds of categories from videogames to pulp magazines, VHS to microfilm, not to mention all the other shit available. This is awesome.

>>450921
Indeed it is.

Is it normal to feel a bit awkward in a new job for a few weeks?

I'm told I'm normally quite likeable and charming but in my new job in intros and stuff I keep cutting people off by accident, saying minor but awkward things, misunderstanding what people mean etc and I wonder if this is normal or I'm being weird.

It's like I'm having to readjust to how people interact and speak here and am not sure if it's just a me thing or this is not uncommon when integrating somewhere new?

How would I become a eskimo? There's a igloo near me I want to go to but I'm scared they'll kick me out for being a clueless whitey.

>>450926
Go in and ask them.

>>450924
That sounds like nitpicking. I doubt anyone else has even noticed.

Is it normal for cats to watch you piss? I have two cats and one will always run in if she hears me pissing and stick her head close to it. I have definitely pissed on her a few times. My other cat isn't bothered by it whatsoever.

>>450924
I'd say it's normal to take a while to settle on get on other people's wavelength, particularly as lockdown has affected people's social skills.

>>450930

Of all the various terrible acts associated with .gs, do we really need to add pissing on cats to the list?

Do it

>>450924
I've just started in a new job too, in a very different sector that I worked before and have felt the same. I think what you're feeling is completely normal.

>>450931
I am not deliberately pissing on my cat, she puts her head in the way of my stream.

>>450924
Being a bit on the spectrum is not mutually exclusive with being likeable and charming. But yeah you'll get better once you become part of the underlying tribal culture and everyone gets to know how the other thinks.

>>450926
The same way you do anything, you email the Shaman beforehand with a 'hello, I'm very interested in learning more about the ramblings of an iron-age warlord and don't see any problem with how he blatantly invented messages when it suited him'. They're quite obligated to teach you about Shamanism.

>>450930
Which one is the dominant one, maybe she thinks you're imposing on her turf.

>>450935
This still seems like an aiming problem on your part. Or you have a very tall/sexually deviant cat. I don't know, between this and the way the Vorders thread has gone today things are getting too weird for me. I might go outside or something.

>>450937
He's three, she's almost one. Although he's bigger he's a lot more placid and he will let her bully him over their food bowls. She's a lot more demanding.

>>450940
She leans into the toilet bowl whilst I'm pissing, sometimes to get a closer look and sometimes because she wants to sniff my piss or something. She seems far more interested in when I'm using the toilet than anyone else in the household.

>>450942

Have you checked to see if you're in heat?

I'm getting to that age now my friends invite me round to dinner and it's getting semi formal.

A friend bought a place and is inviting my me and my girlfriend, who he's never met, to have dinner with him and his girlfriend, who I've never met.

My working class up bringing did not prepare me for a dinner party invite from middle class people, so what's the etiquette here?

Should I bring some wine or something? A houseplant? Some sort of gift that straddles 'thanks for cooking me dinner and here's to your new place I'm visiting for the first time' even though he's lived in it over a year? Do I ask him first if he'd like me to bring something?

Help, please.

>>451000
Buy a bottle of reasonably priced Chardonnay or Pinot. About 8 quid.

That's it. Wine never goes begging. Don't bring a red unless you're more intimately acquainted with their palette. I've know my best pal for 22 years so I'll bring a bottle of Rioja to hers, but that's dangerous if you don't know. If they do drink red wine, a Rioja is a good choice as everyone likes it.

Dinner itself, just chat bollocks. It's no different from any other social setting, there is just food involved.

>>451000
A bottle of something is always appreciated. Make sure your Mrs is hitting it off with her new BFF rather than spending all night having a lad talk about old times.

>>451000
Do they have any pampas grass in the front garden?

>>451002

Me and my best mate have a longstanding agreement never to let our birds become mates with each other, because it only ever leads to trouble.

We'd both probably see each other more often if not for this rule, because the missuses would arrange all sorts of stuff and drag us along, but you've got to have some principles haven't you.

>>451005
>because it only ever leads to trouble

It does?

>>451006

Oh yes. You've no chance if they become mates. That's your agency over your social life stone dead there that is.

What's going on with the sudden influx of seppos?

>>451023
Revengelad has been playing the long game

>>451023
Its just me posting a lot

Just walked through the door after being out for a few hours. Can't work out if I can smell tuna or cat shit.

It's cat shit.

I'm going to order a big fuckoff takeaway tonight because I'm depressed about the state of the housing market and feel like I'm going to end up living with my mum and dad until I'm in my 40s.

Mondays eh.

Just unironically put "don't kill myself" on this week's to-do.

>>451031
>>451033
>>451034

>>451033
I just ate 8 french fancies, a tub of ben and jerries ice cream and a garlic bread pizza. All for dinner.

>>451036
That sounds a bit much.

>>451037
Yeah I let myself go on that one.

>>451036

In fairness I don't see how one can eat an individual french fancy. They're barely a couple of bites. I have a strong childhood memory of getting scolded by my grandma for taking two at once, but I mean come on.

I don't mean to rub it in but I touched a boob tonight. And a bum. Good times.

Now I need to quickly do all the work I said I'd do today but dossed on because it was difficult and boring. Quarterly review coming up and I've already been a bit shit because I'm just burning down the holiday time doing the bare minimum.

>>451040

Was it a good chubster to make us all really jealous? Or more like that Czech greyhound I had last month?

>>451041
More of a petite Mexican, bit of a muffin-top that I don't doubt will feel amazing slamming into. You'll be pleased to hear that she also looks like one of my aunties.

I really miss women. I should go outside and try talking to one, but it's just so frightening out there. Then again it's frightening to in here too. Time to persuit a third way I think, joining a DiscorSUICIDE.

>>451043

Don't do that lad, we'd all miss you. I would at least. I've been refreshing this bloody website all day and at least half the time there hadn't even been one post, it's getting far too quiet around here. I remember back when I used to be able to waste an entire afternoon chatting shit on .gs.

>>451043
You don't go outside to meet women anymore, you dick about on apps which is much easier than approaching a group of women at a bar. Just be ready to accept you'll be taking whatever you can get, interviewing nearly every candidate that applies and not getting many follow-ups.

It sounds crass but I think most people get hurt on dating apps because the numbers give them an inflated sense of what they can get and how picky they ought to be. So they thumb down people who might just take bad pictures or are different to them in some inconsequential way quite unlike them being truly incompatible. And then when you do get the jackpot she quickly leaves you after you fall for her because you let your guard down and it's a pit of despair because you'll never get a shot like that again.

Was making my toast and thought to myself how excellently designed the Marmite jar/packaging is. That's a proper product, that.

>>451046
Bollocks. Having an aperature diameter less than the body makes for a shoulder of inconvenient scraping.

Also makes transportation less effecient, unless perhaps they are stackd in crates with an interseting upside down layer in the gaps.

>>451047
I always pour hot water in and use the last bits in gravy.

I've just pissed through the gap between the toilet bowl and the toilet seat, so now I've got piss all over my joggers.

>>451049
Captain beany?

>>451050
I generally have my feet on a stool or push my tiptoes up when I defecate because it's better for you than having your feet flat on the floor, but it does put your knob at a more risky angle.

>>451051

Speak for yourself lad. Mine is pendulous enough I have to make sure it's not nit pressed against the porcelain in the bowl.

>>451052
Don't you get a bit of a stiffy when you poo?

Very alarmed that my PC just did a random restart for seemingly no reason. I was playing a game, but it's a game I've played for a total of over fifty hours without incident so I'm a little spooked.

>>451051
Sometimes I've thought about squatting over a newspaper during those diffuclt shits, but I don't really want to start down that rabbit hole.

>>451053

That happens when I hold one in, as soon as it's on the way out though, the effect appears to wear off.

I sometimes get a stiffy when I sneak off to the toilet to send naughty texts at work, and it gets stuck under the rim. Not a pleasant sensation.

Yo did you ever know Amy Winehouse looked like this?

>>451057
Stop reposting shit that's recently been popular on rudgwicksteamshow.co.uk.

>>451058
I'll have you know I got this one from 9gag. Besides, the biscuit thread got a few replies didn't it? Be glad I put it in a junk thread, you turd.