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>> No. 450389 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 8:11 am
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New weekday thread: Zool edition.
Expand all images.
>> No. 450390 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 10:00 am
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In the before times I'd occasionally walk home from work, which Google Maps says is 3.1 miles, and have no trouble with it. I've just had to drop my car off roughly halfway across this route and walk back. Admittedly it was always the hardest half of the walk home from work as it's mostly uphill, but I'm absolutely fucked now.
>> No. 450391 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 10:05 am
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Do you remember that PC game that installed a fake virus to your system? In game you'd be flying around a la Astroids fighting icon images of all the programs you had installed. As you progressed your desktop icons would be gradually changed to in-game sprites, as if the game was leaking into the rest of your computer.
It was really quite cool, but your screen was become littered with debris until you completed the game.

Zool sort of reminded me of that.
>> No. 450392 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 10:25 am
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I mainly remember it being a giant advert for Chupa Chups.
>> No. 450394 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 12:08 pm
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I was shocked to learn recently that Zool is held in very high regards in retro gaming circles. I always assumed it was just a generic cartoony platformer, that also happens to shill lollies. Maybe I ought to revisit it.
>> No. 450397 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 12:33 pm
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Zool was incredibly hyped up before it was launched, billed as Amiga's rival to Sonic the Hedgehog. The gameplay wasn't on the same level as Sonic, but you'd expect that when you're comparing the resources of Sega against a few blokes from Sheffield.
>> No. 450398 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 1:21 pm
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I always hated Sonic because I never understood if I was supposed to be going fast or KOing enemies and gathering gold rings. The resolution was too low to do both effectively, at least for me anyway, maybe I needed to Get Good™.
>> No. 450399 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 1:29 pm
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Zool actually got a remastered version recently.

>> No. 450402 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 6:13 pm
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My daughter went to a birthday party at the weekend where only six kids from her school turned up. She's come home today with a thank you card from the birthday girl, a slice of cake and some chocolates. I bet that's absolutely crushing as a parent.
>> No. 450403 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 6:22 pm
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Six is just about okay, isn't it? I don't have kids, but I was kids once. If it's not a lot then I agree it must be horrendous, but I'd have been happy with six friends.
>> No. 450404 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 6:22 pm
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Woah, Peter Popular over here with his parties of more than six friends. Why don't you piss off back to Normandy with the rest of the normaloids, Norman? Wait, no, your name's Peter already, bollocks.
>> No. 450405 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 6:38 pm
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My daughter isn't actually in her class this year. There's about 45 kids in her year, which is split into an outright year one class and the older/smarter kids are in a year one/two class with the younger kids from year two. I think my daughter was invited because they didn't get enough people saying they'd attend from the birthday girl's class.

As far as I'm aware they booked the party venue for 10 kids and there were 7 in total including the birthday girl; 2 never bothered replying to the invite so her cousin and brother were drafted in at the last minute. The mum is really nice as well.

My sixth birthday was at McDonald's when they used to have the pirate party ship upstairs and all the boys from my class turned up and it was awesome.
>> No. 450406 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 7:15 pm
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HL emailed me today to call my portfolio 'a little risky' and linked me to a guide explaining the basics of what risk is. Cheeky cunts, my stock holdings are mostly defensive and all bluechip, my largest holding is KO which carries lower risk than the human race - no explanation was given for this abuse.

When you're in primary school everyone is mates and you have massive parties. I also went Maccies on my sixth and it was sick. Jamie Oliver can go marinade himself, my kids are getting a McDonalds party and if you didn't get one then I can only assume your mother didn't love you.

>There's about 45 kids in her year, which is split into an outright year one class and the older/smarter kids are in a year one/two class with the younger kids from year two

You fucking what. So they've just created two new year groups on different months? How do they manage the obvious population bulge at the start of the year from all the responsible parents?
>> No. 450407 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 7:31 pm
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My daughter is one of the older kids, so she's currently in the Year 1/2 class. Next year she'll be in an outright Year 2 class with the older/smarter half of the current Year 1 class, with the rest of the current Year 1 class forming next year's Year 1/2 class.

The year after that she'll be in the Year 3/4 class while the others will form an outright Year 3 class. It means there's ~15 kids she's constantly with and 15 kids she's with every other year.
>> No. 450409 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 9:09 pm
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I don't think they do Maccies birthday parties anymore lad.
>> No. 450414 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 9:51 pm
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McDonalds not only still do parties but they also trick autistic 9-year olds into working for them:
>> No. 450415 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 9:54 pm
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She's got a more impressive CV than I do at least.
>> No. 450418 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 10:35 pm
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Won a thousand quid on my first month of premium bonds, get in.
>> No. 450419 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 11:01 pm
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Ginsters Pasties for everyone.
>> No. 450420 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 11:51 pm
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Yet again, I have a substantial piece of work that I procrastinated on all day and which was already difficult to reach.

Now you just need to repeat this win every month for 833 years to be able to afford a comfortable retirement today. Easy.
>> No. 450428 Anonymous
5th April 2022
Tuesday 8:58 am
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I need a new toilet seat. What should I be looking out for? It needs to be sturdy.
>> No. 450431 Anonymous
5th April 2022
Tuesday 10:06 am
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>> No. 450435 Anonymous
5th April 2022
Tuesday 11:28 am
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What's the middle hole for?
>> No. 450436 Anonymous
5th April 2022
Tuesday 1:22 pm
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Bog roll?
>> No. 450437 Anonymous
5th April 2022
Tuesday 1:32 pm
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Can anyone recommend me a good single futon/sofa bed? A one you could actually use, not just one you throw in the spare room just in case. Really high quality, comfortable ones. I want to get some for our crew rooms at work.
>> No. 450438 Anonymous
5th April 2022
Tuesday 5:30 pm
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>My car is making funny noises after changing gear.

Here again. Took it to the garage and they confirmed the noise was from a bolt not being fastened properly when the clutch was replaced.

This is the third time I've had work done on my car, all different garages, and they've left something loose when they've finished with it.
>> No. 450439 Anonymous
5th April 2022
Tuesday 6:36 pm
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I know a guy who's always talking on Facebook about how clueless mechanics are. He's one of those slightly intelligent bullshit merchants who seems convinced that he knows more than anyone in the world because he worked out something fairly basic on his own, but the examples he gives of the shambolic service he has experienced certainly suggest that they really are often inept.
>> No. 450440 Anonymous
5th April 2022
Tuesday 6:47 pm
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I'm someone who is 'into' cars and have worked on my own for many years. I've taken cars in to real garages for work I couldn't do/didn't want to do, and honestly it does seem like there are more shite mechanics than good ones. I'm by no means an expert, but I do know how things should be done, and shortcuts, bodges, and downright unsafe work sadly seems to be quite common. There are surely a lot of excellent mechanics that genuinely are spot on and care and are reasonably priced, but these sorts of lads are the ones tucked away at the back of industrial estates, who don't advertise, who work alone or with one other lad, don't know what google is, so the only way you'll ever find them is word of mouth. So if you want to find a good mechanic, find someone who has a classic car that actually runs, and ask them who they use. Guarantee they're a good one.

The problem with this is, these boys will all be retired or dead in 20 years or so. Maybe all the young lads who spend their time now tuning Skylines just naturally grow into these hermit old men mechanics at some point, I don't really know the process.
>> No. 450441 Anonymous
5th April 2022
Tuesday 7:28 pm
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I'm lucky I live 5 minutes away from a VW group specialist. I trust them servicing my Skoda because they only work on those engines and part of their business is tuning. Prices are less than dealership, but still all genuine parts and they're registered to update the electronic service history.
>> No. 450442 Anonymous
5th April 2022
Tuesday 7:30 pm
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The mechanic my parents have used for as long as I can remember used to operate out of a nondescript industrial estate but now works out of a garage behind his house. I've moved so it's been almost ten years since I've used him, but I can't remember him having any signage or doing any marketing.

I've just looked him up on Facebook and half the pictures are of a Mk II Escort he was restoring.
>> No. 450447 Anonymous
5th April 2022
Tuesday 10:37 pm
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>This is the third time I've had work done on my car, all different garages, and they've left something loose when they've finished with it.

I had my brakes done once and when I came back to pick my car up, the mechanic was just in the process of putting it back down on the lift, and then told me to get in and back it out of the shop myself. But he forgot to pump the brakes after replacing the pads, and also didn't tell me to pump them, and so I unwittingly backed into another customer's almost brand new Golf GTI in the car park. Luckily, I only left some black rubber streaks on the Golf's front wing and there was no visible damage on my bumper, but there could have been loads more damage than that.
>> No. 450448 Anonymous
6th April 2022
Wednesday 12:50 am
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I think I'm on the way out.
>> No. 450449 Anonymous
6th April 2022
Wednesday 7:49 am
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Where are you going lad? Shop?
>> No. 450454 Anonymous
6th April 2022
Wednesday 5:39 pm
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Pick us up a Twix
>> No. 450456 Anonymous
6th April 2022
Wednesday 8:13 pm
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I've spent most of the last two days in bed. Yesterday it was justifiable cause I had a big day/night out on Monday so I was recovering, but today I just feel like I've wasted a day. But I felt so lethargic I just couldn't even move. Is this what being old is? Takes you two entire days to recover from a dozen or so beers and a few lines?

Anyway my original plans for the week have been totally scuppered by that, I'm back at work Friday and despite having arguably a very successful time getting wankered and acquiring some very decent sex, I'm feeling quite down. I might just have a trip up to the Asda and just buy a load of chocolate and snacks and spend the evening watching UFO videos or something, then spend tomorrow more productively, but I think it's sunk cost at this point.

I always do this when I have time off. I tell myself I'll use the time to work on hobbies and give myself some self care, but then I end up persuading myself that I'll feel like a lonely sad act if I don't spend at least some of the time socialising and what have you. But then after the fact I wish I would have just spent it locked in my room working on music nobody will ever hear instead.

Such is life I suppose.
>> No. 450457 Anonymous
6th April 2022
Wednesday 8:17 pm
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Have you tested for Covid?
>> No. 450458 Anonymous
6th April 2022
Wednesday 8:33 pm
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Fair point. It does feel a lot like that time I had parvo.

Are the tests still free at the chemists or what?
>> No. 450459 Anonymous
6th April 2022
Wednesday 9:53 pm
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How long do you reckon a dentists anaesthetic will last? Appointment will be over by 1500, I'll have a filling put in. I was going to have a date in the afternoon/evening but this may be silly unless she has a thing for Slavoj Žižek.
>> No. 450460 Anonymous
6th April 2022
Wednesday 10:03 pm
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3 hours.
>> No. 450461 Anonymous
6th April 2022
Wednesday 10:52 pm
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Lower jaw anaesthetics can last up to five hours. Upper jaw is usually shorter, because you can numb individual teeth with less of the anaesthetic.
>> No. 450462 Anonymous
6th April 2022
Wednesday 10:54 pm
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How did Drake get away with blatantly ripping off Sheffield Wednesday for his clothing brand's logo?

His appreciation for British streetwear and culture is no secret, and he's basically solely responsible for taking that weird modern amalgamation of football hooligan and hip hop aesthetic we associate with roadmen over to the US. Stone Island sales in the US skyrocketed after he declared it his favourite clothing brand, and that's literally a brand that was invented by Italians for English football hooligans because a different brand discontinued a jacket popular with the rowdy lads.

As someone with a casual interest in design, however, the name is very cute. OVO with the full logo being an owl, then the typemark just makes a little owl face, sort of like a visual onomatopoeia.

Still, whenever I see a tee shirt or something I think "up the Owls fuck the Blades we're all Wednesday aren't we", and then realise the person wearing it isn't even Wednesday.
>> No. 450463 Anonymous
6th April 2022
Wednesday 10:59 pm
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To make this shit post even shitter, I dropped my phone into the toilet after I hit send. I got what I deserved.
>> No. 450464 Anonymous
6th April 2022
Wednesday 11:21 pm
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I always think of the BBC Micro rather than Sheffield Wednesday.
>> No. 450465 Anonymous
6th April 2022
Wednesday 11:34 pm
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There's nowt more tragic than the Wednesday/United rivalry. They're both shit and only Sheffieldians care.

Funny city like that is Sheff. Very proud of itself, even though nobody has ever heard of it. You get people wearing Def Lepard shirts as if they weren't one of the worst bands ever to have existed, and as if Artic Monkeys aren't a million times more relevant and worthy of caring about (even if they're also shit), and they're all dead bumsore that they're not Leeds.

Very nice place these days, don't get me wrong. There's much worse places you could live than Sheffield. But that has always stood out about it to me.
>> No. 450467 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 1:16 am
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I'll admit I've never been to Sheffield, but they have the Snooker World Championship and The Full Monty is set there, so I'm sure it's the absolute jewel in the crown of South Yorkshire. I'd rather visit Sheffield than Doncaster, Barnsley, Rotherham, or anywhere in Derbyshire. Also, Leeds wishes it was Manchester, Manchester wishes it was London, and London wishes it was New York, so really Sheffield is only four embarrassing delusions away from somewhere that's actually worth visiting.
>> No. 450468 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 9:06 am
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I think I'm going to breakup with my girlfriend. She's done very well career wise despite not having burnished academic credentials. She picked a job that is in demand and has worked through and as a result is getting very high salaries (100k +)

Happy for her, and have supported her all the way. I am still working out what I'd like to be for my life and have done a bit of chopping and changing.

She routinely says annoying shit like 'don't know if I should take this job as it only pays 80k plus bonuses' and stuff like that and I find it a bit obnoxious and now everything revolves around this very important, but the only facet of her life she is intersted in now.

I find it kind of demoralising because it shits over what I'm doing and also implies that I'm not doing very well (think 50k salary).

Having a good career isn't a personality trait and it's just grating on me. I'm not envious I don't think because otherwise I'd just stay with her and ride out her good salary, I just don't want to spend my life with somebody that has nothing to talk about but their next pay bracket.

Am I being sour grapes? I just find it all quite obnoxious at the minute.
>> No. 450469 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 10:19 am
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>Am I being sour grapes?

Yes, she's enjoying some success in her life for a change, has found something she's good at and is quite naturally sharing her life with you. I know it's hard but why not try being happy for her and accept that in any relationship you're hearing about 40 hours a week of tedium you don't care about.

I'd class myself as doing well and with an exciting career but I'm only on 40k
>> No. 450470 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 10:45 am
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I enjoy hearing about it and I've enjoyed watching her success, what I don't enjoy is her implying that anything not up to her very high earning standard is somehow shit, knowing full well that that includes me.
>> No. 450471 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 11:01 am
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>what I don't enjoy is her implying that anything not up to her very high earning standard is somehow shit, knowing full well that that includes me.

Can you give some examples of this?
>> No. 450472 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 11:25 am
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Like what I said in my OP really but I can give pretty much verbatim 'I don't know if I should take this job earning 80k, it's not a very good salary and it only gives bonuses and stock options and even they get taxed, pretty poor salary really'.

It's all relative but I wouldn't take my 50k and tell my friend working in a shop on minimum wage it's a shit salary and I am annoyed by it.

Similarly judgey comments about friends doing different things to her, how they're wasting their life etc because they're travelling or whatever as if the only way to win at life is to be maxxing your salary.
>> No. 450474 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 11:27 am
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You should have thought about that before choosing mediocrity.

Or did it choose you?
>> No. 450475 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 11:43 am
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Great bait, but I haven't chose anything. I'm trying to try a few career paths so I can decide which one to stomach for the next however long.

I'm in my 20s so plenty of time to grow into something.
>> No. 450476 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 11:57 am
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Yeah, whatever you must tell yourself to ease that inferiority complex. You're either safe in the knowledge you can earn similar money soon and the delay was entirely your choice or you complain about how her self-evaluation demeans your worth and achievements. Doing both as you've just done is just nonsense.
>> No. 450477 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 12:05 pm
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Ok, m8.
>> No. 450478 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 12:10 pm
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Sounds like you're taking this personally when really you need to mentally cut the wages in half to translate. It's relative, she's going to look at 80k differently because she's in a different position to you and there's nothing wrong with trying to fuck The Man by getting the best possible deal.

If you still get pissed off then raise the point about work/life balance and how much that 20k is actually worth after tax to see if she might be able to negotiate Fridays off (where she can clean the house, do the ironing and other woman-stuff). Put things in that perspective of looking at how much time/effort is worth.

>Similarly judgey comments about friends doing different things to her, how they're wasting their life etc because they're travelling or whatever as if the only way to win at life is to be maxxing your salary.

It depends on how old you are and realistically how you're coping with the inevitability of it all being quite meaningless. Despite popular belief, money is quite important and I say that as someone who largely gave it up for a life of public service. You're going to get old eventually.

Is she starting to nest? Have you noticed her doing doing some pelvic lifts and handstands after sex? do you need to start thinking about taking magnesium and drinking pineapple juice to maximise your load? Do I have an impregnation fetish and need to find out if there's a decent kink community for it?
>> No. 450480 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 12:48 pm
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It sounds like you're struggling to cope with the fact that the power dynamics in the relationship has changed.

You've gone from being the breadwinner and the supportive one to finding yourself eclipsed by her earnings potential whilst you're still figuring out what you want to do in life. The roles have reversed and you find yourself feeling inadequate.
>> No. 450482 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 1:47 pm
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Or it's just annoying when someone bleats on about their money all the time.
>> No. 450483 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 1:50 pm
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Men who support women to foster some kind of paternalistic fantasy and not through a genuine desire to see someone grow as much as possible are inherently abusive.
>> No. 450484 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 2:14 pm
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Oh look, it's the Britfa Simping Hour again is it? Where you all get your little pork sausages going over a bird you've never met, instead of giving your good ladm9 the benefit of the doubt? You set of fannies.


In that case it depends, is she being equally as supportive in fostering him to develop, like he did for her during all those years she was a layabout parasite grad student living on his money? Presumably, at least.

Just anecdotally, I've seen a few of my mates in similar positions, and it seems very much the case that women are big fat hypocrites as far as money and status is concerned. A man is capable of treating his partner like an equal regardless of earnings, even if it is in a bit of a patronising "chivalrous" way; but when the shoe is on the other foot, women can turn absolutely reptilian about it.

It's often tied into a peer pressure sort of thing- One of my mates found himself in a relationship with a woman way above his pay grade, she was a high-powered accountant or lawyer or something, and he was basically a porter at the time. Couldn't have more of a disparity in pay. And the thing is, they got on fantastically. They were an amazing couple on a personal level- But you could tell, you could read her unease when it was her mates we were around. You know, her posh, rich, upper-middle class mates, around the dinner table casually ordering the really expensive wines and whatnot; she felt ashamed that her fella only made 20k a year.

It wasn't even really about the money, it was more a sort of like... She'd broken a taboo, like they'd found a video of her getting fucked by a dog or something. She could do better, she was cheapening herself.

... Anyway. The thing is that the single-minded pursuit of wealth is often an indicator of shallowness. It's not an attractive trait. It's nice if someone enjoys their work and it's great if they can help you both afford a decent quality of life, but it's not the only thing in life, and I can sympathise. I'd get bloody annoyed if money was all my missus talked about.
>> No. 450485 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 2:18 pm
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There's a lot of shit psychoanalysis going on here. If she's spending all day banging on bragging about her massive wad it's going to be a bit annoying. Do a gender swap and imaging the post was about a male friend of his bragging about his pay instead.

If she's also chatting shit devaluing her friends and looking down on people for not making as much as her, it's going to be even more annoying, and OP would be justified in also feeling a bit insecure.

>> No. 450486 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 2:19 pm
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>when the shoe is on the other foot, women can turn absolutely reptilian about it.

My former boss had a bit of a domestic over the phone with her boyfriend in the middle of the office. I can't even remember what she said, but it was very emasculating.

She was definitely unhinged, that one. The people working on the floor below knew if she was in a bad mood because they'd hear her stamping her boots as she walked.
>> No. 450487 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 2:49 pm
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Thanks for some of the more sensible lads in here giving a balanced perspective. Some absolutely crazy made up assumptions being applied or inferred from one post.

A few things - I'm not insecure about my salary. 50K is decent at my age (mid-late 20s) regardless and I am happy it provides me with enough. Considering I've done several different types of jobs since graduating I'm pretty happy all things considered and it means I don't wake up at 40 wondering 'what if', at least when it comes to careers.

Me and my girlfriend met on similar salaries, she stuck with her path, on the option of moving up on mine I had a wobble and said 'is this really me? Is this what I was made for or should I dip my toes in what I think might be my passion and see whilst I've no mortgage and kids and my biggest worry is paying rent?'. I could have taken that road but I chose not to, and could, in theory, go back.

I of course am happy for her success. In fact she's had MANY a wobble, and as with most success once one brick was in place, which was the hardest, the rest fell in relatively quickly. I am delighted she's happy and she is on the whole a wonderful supportive person who I genuinely think wants the best for me. Also you know when you really care about somebody because you are happy they are happy and getting what you think they deserve.

Ironically her ex earned a good whack but always told her she was meant for lesser things, so I've made a point about supporting her.

My main thing was I just thought it was a bit inconsiderate. I actually raised it with her after my teary here and she said 'yeah sorry, that is quite inconsiderate' because naturally if you're trying your best and somebody is shitting all over what they've got when their best is much better, it obviously is a bit difficult on midweek morning.

I just didn't want to raise it because I was scared of looking jealous/envious because I want her to succeed as much as possible, but preferably without this becoming the dominant thing behind everything. I noticed a very quick change to 'I earn this and these people are not as good as me' and that's what I was concerned about developing.

Sorry to derail the midweek thread. On another note, it's really windy.
>> No. 450488 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 3:14 pm
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My building is covered in scaffolding for roofing work that's been going on for about 6 months longer than it was supposed to. Half the plastic sheeting has come loose and is flapping about in the wind, and the scaffolders themselves always seem like they're half-drunk and don't give a fuck. I'll probably be killed by a falling steel pole in the next few days.
>> No. 450489 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 3:23 pm
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Well I just read a thread on rudgwick about "orgasm inequality" and good grief. There really is no end to how myopic women can be.

I'm quite sure the majority of men are terrible in bed, but on the flipside of the coin, the amount of effort it takes to please a man is so much lower it hardly bears mentioning. most lasses are also shite in bed, it's just that you can still get a bloke to spaff with the barest minimum of effort, so it's not a gender disparity, it's just that women have been coasting through on easy mode all this time.

I'm absolutely not wrong here, I will die on this hill.
>> No. 450490 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 3:31 pm
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I have that death-grip masturbation dick. I have never ejaculated into a woman. It's possible that's why they never stick around and I've only had sex a handful of times in my life. They read your post and assume it's something wrong with them. Anyway, I think it would be great if we could acknowledge that nutting with another person in the room, when you're not used to that, can sometimes be very difficult indeed, while still accepting that yes, some women can say perversely selfish things on a forum designed specifically for that purpose.
>> No. 450491 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 3:33 pm
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Mate, you seriously need to stop going out of your way to read things that will rile you up. You're becoming no different than a Daily Mail reader.
>> No. 450492 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 4:07 pm
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Why are you reading rudgwicksteamshow.co.uk? It's an absolute shit-tip and like twitter, facebook and 4chan, a sign of how bad the modern centralised internet community is.

I do all the work to be honest and that's how I like it.

I'm not convinced the death-grip thing is real, certainly not from my experience as a compulsive wanker. You might want to look into this.
>> No. 450496 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 6:20 pm
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I've tried; I don't think there is any proper research whatsoever into it. My initial post did suggest it's more of a social anxiety thing, but I don't know how to test this theory.
>> No. 450498 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 6:24 pm
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I'll take credit for normalising rudgwicksteamshow.co.uk venting on here. I'm only partially sorry, it's nice to have some fellow crabs in my bucket.

I can kind of see it, but yeah my lifetime of indulgence hasn't ruined my penis. The drugs and alcohol have had a much bigger impact, but I can still get a ferocious rod if she's saying the right things.
>> No. 450500 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 6:31 pm
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I often find it difficult to cum if I'm pissed/on drugs, and if the girl is too wet and slippery. Sometimes I find it really difficult to tell if they're exasperated or disappointed and want me to finish, so their vagina can have a rest from being relentlessly bagged out, or if they're dead chuffed to have a bloke who can jackhammer them for hours.

Hard to tell, it really doesn't help that women only make one type of noise that doubles up for laughing, crying, cumming and being in severe pain.
>> No. 450501 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 6:33 pm
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SSRIs are very effective at treating social anxiety, but they also make it harder to cum. Oh, the terrible irony.
>> No. 450503 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 9:17 pm
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I was with a lass briefly who had studied abroad in Japan for a year or two, and was a bit of a weeb princess. Whenever we'd have sex she would make the most outrageous hentai noises, and it was an instant stiffykiller for me. It's the only time I've ever struggled to keep hard, and she was gorgeous with comedically massive melons.

I'm getting déjà vu typing this, I think the lad in the embarrassing stories thread was right and we're all going senile.
>> No. 450504 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 11:16 pm
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Why does everything feel like it has no authenticity these days? I know that sounds a bit teenlad but its all so dull. It feels like the suits got their hands onto everything and its the internet that got them there. I don't know. I'm drunk and I've been watching old television and news bits again.
>> No. 450505 Anonymous
8th April 2022
Friday 12:14 am
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You know what's weird? In the 1990s, New Age music was massive. People loved Enigma, and Era, and Karl Jenkins, and all that hippie shit. It was in the charts, and it was a fully recognised genre that got played on the radio and everything. I can't imagine anything like that ever happening again, because They™ won't let it. It would make the music industry too unpredictable to let so many people behave so inexplicably all at the same time.

I know there was that craze for sea shanties a year or two ago, but it just wasn't the same. It wasn't a movement; it was one TikTok video and some coattail-riding.
>> No. 450506 Anonymous
8th April 2022
Friday 1:02 am
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Oh my God, there’s something really dark going on with this comedy-drama I’m watching. I’m going to cry, fuck sake.
>> No. 450508 Anonymous
8th April 2022
Friday 5:07 am
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The internet has given us untrammelled access to everything ever, but in doing so it has mixed everything into a contextless beige paste of postmodernity. Whatever the cool kids in Berlin are wearing will be in every branch of Zara and H&M within a couple of months. A watered-down version of whatever the cool DJs are playing will be the soundtrack to next month's bank adverts.

It's impossible for distinctive scenes and subcultures to evolve, because that requires a distinctive niche; the internet has created the exact opposite of the Galapagos Islands. Everything is cross-pollinated with everything else, without regard for time or place.

Old records used to come in old sleeves with old pictures of old people wearing old clothes. Those record sleeves bore the patina of age, the music was heard through the crackle and hiss of a dusty groove. Getting an old record required rummaging through the crates at a second-hand shop or raiding the collection of an older sibling or a cool uncle. Every step in the journey between artist and listener carried meaning that anchored that work in a broader cultural context. Today, all music comes through the same streaming pipe, digitally remastered and served up by an algorithm.

We are already living in a weird sci-fi future, we just didn't notice. I might be sitting at a bus stop at the end of my street, but I'm staring at a shiny oblong that is seamlessly connected to several billion other shiny oblongs. We all carry these strange little portals to an alternate reality; if you don't carry one, you're either a pensioner or a weirdo.

Back in the early 90s, I carried an Apple Newton - a failed early precursor to the iPhone. It was about the size of a paperback book, ran on four AA batteries and had truly atrocious handwriting recognition, but it also had a cellular modem. At a time when normal people were just barely starting to take an interest in the internet, I could sit in a cafe and check my email on a handheld device.

That strange sci-fi gadget inevitably attracted attention and I often found myself giving a demonstration to a curious onlooker. The reactions of those strangers were, in hindsight, incredibly telling. Serious Business Types who carried briefcases and massive mobile phones immediately understood the potential and immediately wanted one. Literally everyone else was completely bewildered, staring blankly at an object that seemed extraordinarily sophisticated but completely useless. Why would anyone want to check their email in a cafe?

In some strange way, I think we've all become yuppies. We've all been so deeply absorbed into the techno-informational-industrial complex that no-one ever asks why. We all feel a vague unease about being permanently plugged in to this maddening metaverse full of scams and fake news and Russian bots, but none of us can imagine a world without it. The pre-internet world doesn't seem like a different time, it seems like a different universe.

In 1996, Francis Fukuyama argued that history had effectively ended because western liberal democracy had comprehensively won; liberal democracy was so superior to any other political system to be the inevitable end-point for the development of any society. The rise of China and the resurgence of Russian totalitarianism has obviously proved him wrong. The actual end of history might have far more to do with major tech companies than politics. Governments collapse, borders change, revolutions rise and fall, but nobody can imagine a future that doesn't involve most of the world's population constantly feeding their most intimate thoughts to a monopolistic tech company.

It doesn't matter whether you take the red pill or the blue pill, because you end up back in The Matrix either way.
>> No. 450509 Anonymous
8th April 2022
Friday 5:16 am
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>In some strange way, I think we've all become yuppies.

I agree.
>> No. 450513 Anonymous
8th April 2022
Friday 11:20 am
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What does it mean?
>> No. 450516 Anonymous
8th April 2022
Friday 11:36 am
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Sometimes you still see things going, "Let me tell you what life is like in Sweden", but I never enjoy those now because it's the same as here. Even if you check out the music scene of Kyrgyzstan or Ethiopia, it's definitely different and that's good but you can't rely on it. Pick a random online radio station in Brazil and they're probably playing Taylor Swift just like us.
>> No. 450517 Anonymous
8th April 2022
Friday 12:42 pm
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>Today, all music comes through the same streaming pipe, digitally remastered and served up by an algorithm.

I'll have you know I recently bought a physical album by post - the textured card packaging and print, inserts and colour palette complete the music as an entire piece of appreciable artwork. This album will stand as part of a handpicked display upon my homes dedicated music feature, once I can get off my arse to make it.

Almost by definition niche is away from the mainstream, you're not going to find it on the side of a fucking bus.

[spoiler]Lmao what an absolute cunt. You do better talking about furries.[/i]

>> No. 450518 Anonymous
8th April 2022
Friday 12:43 pm
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>> No. 450526 Anonymous
8th April 2022
Friday 5:16 pm
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Buying music on physical media is artificial now, it's a postmodern pretence. A vinyl record pressed in 2022 is a hyperreal simulation of a record, "real" only in the same sense that Las Vegas or a mock-Tudor Barratt house is real. It tangibly exists, but is devoid of truth. The purpose of the object is purely symbolic.

And so on and so on... *sniff*
>> No. 450528 Anonymous
8th April 2022
Friday 10:19 pm
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It does amuse me to no end that hipsters will pay forty quid for a vinyl pressing of an album that was definitely recorded, mixed, and mastered on Pro Tools.

But at the same time, I can see the appeal if you already have a big collection of legitimate old analogue vinyl, from an OCD perspective if nothing else. You want to be able to put them all on the same shelf neatly, and play them on the same equipment.
>> No. 450531 Anonymous
9th April 2022
Saturday 4:33 am
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Last night I watched HIGNFY for the first time in years. I know they've been phoning it in for ages, but it's got even worse.
>> No. 450533 Anonymous
9th April 2022
Saturday 5:08 am
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I’m occasionally tempted to watch it if to know how little Paul Merton can do and still earn a living. However, I’ve yet to build the courage and I don’t think I’ve seen an episode since 2019, probably.
>> No. 450536 Anonymous
9th April 2022
Saturday 7:50 am
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Full your boots.

>> No. 450539 Anonymous
9th April 2022
Saturday 8:36 am
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This vid really sums up my own feelings on vinyl.

People who tell you vinyl sounds better are fucking morons. I like to buy vinyl because:
A) 98% of my listening is on spotify and I buy vinyl to give money to the few artists I really like.
B) It's something to collect
C) It's just fun and an enjoyable way to really "listen" to music instead of just having music playing while you're doing other things.

>> No. 450545 Anonymous
9th April 2022
Saturday 4:26 pm
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It's all right. I like it. The guests were not good, though; that Asian woman (Ria Lina?) was on it once before and I'm very distressed that they invited her back. She has all of 2015's hottest takes, and nothing else.

Paul Merton has never been funny.

If you didn't like last night's perfectly enjoyable episode, I would advise you against watching any more, because even though it's great, there's something unimaginably offensive about the "guest presenter" being one of the same seven people every week for the past five years or more. Jo Brand, Martin Clunes, Stephen Mangan, Alexander Armstrong, Victoria Coren, David Mitchell, and that's it. They had Clive Myrie recently, so that was refreshing, but it's blindingly obvious that they don't want to be refreshing most weeks.
>> No. 450546 Anonymous
9th April 2022
Saturday 5:02 pm
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HIGNFY must be condemned for allowing sociopaths Boris Johnson and Jacob Rees Mogg a platform, which they used to ingratiate themselves with the British public so several years later they could hold positions of power and still be looked upon affectionately by fuckwits. Classic Bozza he got stuck on a zipline. Classic Bozza he was just having a few drinks after work it's fine top lad. Classic Jacob he was snoozing at PMQs. Classic Jacob, Grenfell Tower victims brought it on themselves.
>> No. 450547 Anonymous
9th April 2022
Saturday 5:44 pm
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>C) It's just fun and an enjoyable way to really "listen" to music instead of just having music playing while you're doing other things.
This is it for me too, it's easy to whack on a 20-hour playlist on Spotify and zone out, but putting on a vinyl record is a tactile and present experience.
>> No. 450549 Anonymous
9th April 2022
Saturday 5:56 pm
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>Paul Merton has never been funny.
I hear that. People (apparently) rave about The Masterson Inheritance but it's fucking awful. Even his performance on Just A Minute, they've a strange quality of dull energy. I can't bare to mention Who's Line Is It Anyway. At this point he's simply a familiar voice/face. That's not to say he's not interesting in non-comedy roles; I've heard a few interviews which were okay.
>> No. 450550 Anonymous
9th April 2022
Saturday 7:00 pm
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It's not their fault nobody on the left has a personality or sense of humour.
>> No. 450555 Anonymous
9th April 2022
Saturday 8:25 pm
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Hat Trick productions have long been collaborators with the state security apparatus, and together they unleashed the brain virus of political correctness, victimhood culture and identity politics etc etc which surgically dismantled the let's ability to present anything recognisable as a human face or personality.

There's an alternate timeline where we live in a socialist utopia where all your gas and lecky is free, but the price you have to pay is that Bernard Manning is still on telly, we still have the Imperial system and women get looked at on the tube. As a result this site would never have anything to whinge about.
>> No. 450557 Anonymous
9th April 2022
Saturday 8:29 pm
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Jess Phillips has both of those things.
>> No. 450558 Anonymous
9th April 2022
Saturday 8:40 pm
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You'll be furious at the adverts that came when Pointless Celebrities ended, then. In a couple of minutes, they plugged:
>Gentleman Jack (about lesbians in the past)
>Killing Eve (promoting the lesbian relationship between the two main characters)
Followed by Casualty, which began with "Previously on Casualty...", with a man saying, "I think I'm in love with you", to, you guessed it, another man.

Just one of those three would have been acceptable and fine and even commendable. Three in two minutes is enough to make anyone bust out the rare Pepes and Moonman playlist.
>> No. 450559 Anonymous
9th April 2022
Saturday 8:47 pm
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Why does it matter?
>> No. 450560 Anonymous
9th April 2022
Saturday 8:49 pm
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Not enough black people.
>> No. 450561 Anonymous
9th April 2022
Saturday 8:52 pm
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Sorry, I should have been clearer.

It's not their fault nobody on the left has an interesting personality or good sense of humour.
>> No. 450564 Anonymous
9th April 2022
Saturday 9:29 pm
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As you mentioned Jacob Rees-Mogg, I assumed those were not necessary.
>> No. 450580 Anonymous
10th April 2022
Sunday 7:54 am
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I didn't, but at least Rees-Mogg is kind of interesting and noteworthy in an eccentric sense, plus he seems happy enough to be the butt of a joke.

There's nobody in Labour that's got a cult of personality like, say, Bozza or Are Nige. They're all either PPE graduates vetted by focus groups to be bland non-people or they take themselves far too seriously to be able to lighten up.
>> No. 450602 Anonymous
11th April 2022
Monday 1:59 pm
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Today I have driven through Wolverhampton. It's very enriched. I think the only white people I actually saw were a gang of teenage mothers, a fat man on a mobility scooter and various men in hi-vis.
>> No. 450607 Anonymous
11th April 2022
Monday 4:11 pm
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So I've been living at home lately after nearly a decade away. Consequently I'm looking after myself, doing my own cooking, washing, dishes, and so on. You know, like a grown up does.

You'd think my folks would be happy with that aye? Nah, mam's screwing because she can't have a dig at me over owt. She had a go at me this morning because I got up in the night for a piss and it caused the dog to bark. She's desperate to be able to tell me off for something.

Do any of you have parents who aren't neurotic cunts? What's it like?
>> No. 450609 Anonymous
11th April 2022
Monday 4:45 pm
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Are there any fun characters from the Star Wars sequel trilogy? Prequels had Grievous, Maul, Dooku, Kit Fisto, Plo Koon, Mace Windu. Lovely stuff. Original trilogy had Han Solo, Chewie, Lando, Boba Fett, Ewoks, Vader. Iconic. Sequels have boring Rey, boring Kylo, boring Finn, Oscar Isaac, Asian woman, Laura Linney. It just doesn't compare.
>> No. 450610 Anonymous
11th April 2022
Monday 5:05 pm
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Maz Kanata was sort of noteable, but I did just have to go three google searches deep to remember what her name was, and which movie she even appears in.
>> No. 450611 Anonymous
11th April 2022
Monday 5:06 pm
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I'm sure it's just got to do with you, understandably, not remember their names, but I don't like the implication the actors in the 3rd trilogy are the problem. Good actors, schizophrenically batty writing. However, I also have to disagree that half those characters you mentioned from the prequels were any good. Darth Maul is just a bloke with facepaint who's only noteworthy in my opinion for being voiced by Peter Serafinowicz, with everyone else but Grievous is more or less a non-entity.
>> No. 450612 Anonymous
11th April 2022
Monday 5:18 pm
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I seem to remember there was a little robot, or some kind of alien guy, that I really liked in the final one. Everyone in the cinema laughed when he went "waheeey" near the end.

I mean I can't even remember what he looked like mind, so clearly it wasn't that memorable. I think it was basically the only good part of the movie though, because I can't remember a fucking thing about the rest of it either.
>> No. 450614 Anonymous
11th April 2022
Monday 5:41 pm
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I just bumped into an old co-worker who opened with "Hey you've gained weight". Motherfucker.
>> No. 450615 Anonymous
11th April 2022
Monday 6:16 pm
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Can't handle the top bantz.
>> No. 450617 Anonymous
11th April 2022
Monday 7:32 pm
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My MP's a paedo.


Well, were they wrong?
>> No. 450620 Anonymous
11th April 2022
Monday 8:11 pm
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Turning 30 this year, I decided in January that it was no age for me to be living off microwave meals, so I made it a goal of mine to learn to cook. I focused on the basics at first, I read a very good book called 'Salt, Fat, acid, Heat' which educates you on those components and how they combine to make good food. I then decided to honour my family history and learn Italian cooking. I've been reading and following this massive cookbook 'The Essentials of Classic Italian Cooking' (by a long dead Italian cook, no I'm not a shill) and I'm so, so pleased with how I've developed, what I've learnt and the actual joy in finding this hobby. I cannot believe what junk I was putting away before I did this, and how rewarding and simple it is to make nice food.
>> No. 450621 Anonymous
11th April 2022
Monday 8:19 pm
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>by a long dead Italian cook, no I'm not a shill
I'm very confused by this portion of your post, but well done on becoming less of a manchild. Go check out Rachel Roddy's stuff in the Guardian, her recipes are generally very good.
>> No. 450622 Anonymous
11th April 2022
Monday 8:26 pm
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Great to read. Have you tinkered with baking? It's extremely satisfying, and there's a lot of nice food science to delve into.
>> No. 450623 Anonymous
11th April 2022
Monday 9:10 pm
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> long dead
Died September 29, 2013
>> No. 450624 Anonymous
11th April 2022
Monday 9:23 pm
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To explain, I was once banned (for a long time) here for 'shilling' an obscure Japanese sex toy brand in a post that read far less like an advert than >>450620 does.
>> No. 450625 Anonymous
11th April 2022
Monday 9:45 pm
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What's that got to do with Stanley Tucci?
>> No. 450626 Anonymous
11th April 2022
Monday 10:15 pm
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Goof lad. I don't get why so many people are so shit at cooking, honestly, because I've always found it so much fun. I get that you don't always have the time or effort to bother with it, and I'll resort to a Chicago Town frozen pizza at least once a week myself, so I'm not some culinary snob. I even understand why you'd use jarred sauces, much to cheflad's annoyance.

But like. Have you ever been really baked and gone to the supermarket, and come home with a load of shite to experiment with? I'd recommend it, because nothing satisfies the munchies like a meal of your own creation; and the thing is it's only pretentious Michelin bullshit that sets me apart from Michele Roux or whoever the fuck. All the world's most renowned chefs were drug addled lunatics, I know because I read that book that time.

Anyway I make some mean fajitas and a shit hot lasagne thanks to this.
>> No. 450627 Anonymous
11th April 2022
Monday 10:29 pm
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I can't cook for shit, but I cook all sorts for myself now because it's only me eating it. If you'd like a pro tip, fuck buying books; buy a wok. Once you have a wok, just buy random ingredients and put them in the wok. Well done; you are now a chef. Enjoy your pineapple, pak choi, beef jerky and ravioli. The books don't mention that so it's like your own personal secret when you eat it. Don't actually try and eat that; it sounds foul. It was just an example.
>> No. 450628 Anonymous
11th April 2022
Monday 10:38 pm
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Remind me in the morning lads: I'm going to order some weights and a bike. Don't let me forget and spend all day on Elden Ring again.

My work schedule nowadays has destroyed any routine of exercise I used to have, but I'm going to go for a ride and lift some heavy things on my days off so I don't waste away to total skinnyfat.
>> No. 450629 Anonymous
11th April 2022
Monday 10:58 pm
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Are you more likely to exercise at home than, say, if you got a gym membership? There's 24-hour ones all over the place nowadays, and the "I'm paying for this" factor can sometimes be a motivator.
>> No. 450630 Anonymous
11th April 2022
Monday 10:58 pm
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Are you more likely to exercise at home than, say, if you got a gym membership? There's 24-hour ones all over the place nowadays, and the "I'm paying for this" factor can sometimes be a motivator.
>> No. 450631 Anonymous
11th April 2022
Monday 11:08 pm
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Just did my first open mic at 30 with some lad who graciously played the guitar for me, and people fucking liked it, it was class.

So fuck you whoever posted on here ten years ago saying I was shit at singing, I got hugs from the audience and the guitarist asked me if I wanted to do one more. And everybody fucking clapped.
>> No. 450632 Anonymous
11th April 2022
Monday 11:31 pm
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Nah I'm much more likely to at home, where I can just pick them up whenever I want. If I have to actually get dressed and make myself look presentable to travel to the place I'm doing it, I'm far more likely to sack it off.


Congrats mate, there's actually nothing as thrilling as playing for a crowd. And even if you're legitimately not great at singing or whatever, that doesn't mean you can't be entertaining. The best bands and singers etc carry a charisma and stage presence that goes well beyond their performing ability, while watching a technically flawless but completely dry classical recital is boring as fuck.
>> No. 450633 Anonymous
12th April 2022
Tuesday 1:43 am
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Hey, I remember you from ten years ago! You're still shit at singing.
>> No. 450634 Anonymous
12th April 2022
Tuesday 12:23 pm
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On the subject of cooking, I've made Chinese that actually tastes like Chinese. I'm not entirely sure how, because all I really added to the veg and noodles was ginger, garlic and soy sauce.
>> No. 450635 Anonymous
12th April 2022
Tuesday 10:36 pm
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Good on you ladm8.
>> No. 450640 Anonymous
13th April 2022
Wednesday 5:33 pm
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I shouldn't have stocked up on reduced Christmas fodder. I'm fucked.
>> No. 450641 Anonymous
14th April 2022
Thursday 12:27 am
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A new lass has started at work. She's a posho horse girl and has massive tits.
>> No. 450642 Anonymous
14th April 2022
Thursday 9:25 am
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I once worked with a lass and the only way I could describe her breasts would be as "pleasantly surprising". You'd forget just quite how big they were until she stood up from her desk and you caught sight of them. It happened almost every time and I know other people thought the same about them.

They weren't even massive. She was in shape and they were quite full looking, so they were proportionately large. She tended to wear tight clothing, or at least the size of her breasts turned all of her tops tight, under a leather jacket so they were noticeable even though she wasn't trying to flaunt them.
>> No. 450643 Anonymous
14th April 2022
Thursday 4:18 pm
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I saw one of those e-scooters about 20 minutes ago, and a woman was riding it. You'd think that would be totally normal, but it really stuck out like a bizarre thing to see.
>> No. 450644 Anonymous
14th April 2022
Thursday 4:25 pm
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I have a hard time separating those shiny new e-scooters from the early "hoverboard" nonsense from the mid 2010s. The uni campus I worked on at the time was flush with showy cunts zipping around on them, and there were even ones with built-in speaker so you could... vaguely hear music coming from your feet?
>> No. 450654 Anonymous
14th April 2022
Thursday 6:13 pm
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Keep us up to date with this.
>> No. 450658 Anonymous
14th April 2022
Thursday 10:53 pm
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The new series of Taskmaster is scraping the barrel a bit.
>> No. 450659 Anonymous
14th April 2022
Thursday 11:00 pm
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Silly socks are so incredibly overdone.
>> No. 450660 Anonymous
14th April 2022
Thursday 11:10 pm
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They've got two very funny women and Judi Love.
>> No. 450661 Anonymous
14th April 2022
Thursday 11:36 pm
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So they've just started casting members of the public?
>> No. 450663 Anonymous
15th April 2022
Friday 12:57 am
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Hey, it's Judi Love again. She really is expanding to encompass everything, like the Amazon of comedy.
>> No. 450666 Anonymous
15th April 2022
Friday 9:34 am
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They all seem quite dense, but I would let Bridget Christie peg me to death. Do you think she could be persuaded that hurting my dirtbox would strike a blow against the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society?
>> No. 450667 Anonymous
15th April 2022
Friday 10:13 am
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She's looking good for 50, but is she actually known for anything other than being Stewart Lee's wife?
>> No. 450668 Anonymous
15th April 2022
Friday 10:52 am
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Went to a gig once where Stewart Lee introduced her in character as 'A. Ant', and she came on stage in a huge ant costume, and did ant-based material. It was weird and not very funny.
>> No. 450669 Anonymous
15th April 2022
Friday 11:10 am
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That's pretty much the only stand up material of hers on YouTube.

>> No. 450670 Anonymous
15th April 2022
Friday 12:03 pm
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>It was weird and not very funny

We already know about Stu, what was she like?
>> No. 450671 Anonymous
15th April 2022
Friday 12:08 pm
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Re: Bridget Christie. She was on some live current affair comedy program a while back, maybe The Last Leg or Channel 4's Alternative Election Night. She was dressed as a scientist and talked about current affairs but as if she was a nerdy scientist. Anyway, it was very unfunny, but I can't find it online so it's possible I dreamt it. Also she looks and speaks like my autistic ex-girlfriend so I have a soft spot for her. The rest of the cast of Taskmaster looks awful, other than Judi Love for a bit of eye candy.
>> No. 450680 Anonymous
15th April 2022
Friday 3:53 pm
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I think I'm turning into a bit of a snob. I don't like being near poor people.
>> No. 450684 Anonymous
15th April 2022
Friday 5:10 pm
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Same, except I'm also poor.
>> No. 450686 Anonymous
15th April 2022
Friday 5:24 pm
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The archetypal britfa.gs poster.
>> No. 450687 Anonymous
15th April 2022
Friday 5:45 pm
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Now hang on, we don’t know if he wants to be pegged to death by a woman he hates yet.

Poor people are shits though. Some pillock hassled me for being near him on the bus last week, but I barely heard him on account of my headphones. Regardless we’re both grown adults and he’s doing this nonsense? I don’t understand how these arseholes are formed. I spent the rest of my afternoon oscillating between confusion and wanting to own a gun; we’ll see how easy going he is with a .45 pointing up his nose.
>> No. 450689 Anonymous
15th April 2022
Friday 5:51 pm
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I'm not exactly from a well off background either. It's just when you go to a public space and they're just so... common. A bit feral. Questionable hygiene. Always loud. I can sort of see why people pay money for a National Trust/English Heritage membership so when they go out they're not really going to be exposed to the great unwashed.
>> No. 450690 Anonymous
15th April 2022
Friday 6:18 pm
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The best people in the world are people who are posher than me, but also poorer than me. They were raised right and then they learnt the bitterness that I also feel. Truly the ne plus ultra of humanity.

Rich scum are the worst. Poor scum are less awful than rich scum on average, although of course there are criminals who will rob you among their number, and those are slightly more despicable than even the dad with the signet ring battering his kid in the middle of Alton Towers.
>> No. 450693 Anonymous
15th April 2022
Friday 8:39 pm
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That's the thing though innit, there's poor people, then there's common people. I like to think I'm very much the former, but not at all the latter. I've been out with many a bird who are reeking of class, introduced me to all sorts of bohemian hipster gentrified shit, and of course they were all flat out penniless on the dole. You don't have to be a complete lout just because you don't have any money.

I suppose the odd thing for me is that I very much come from the kind of background that should have made me a lager swilling, footy watching, yelling at women in public kind of chav, yet it hasn't. I'm polite and I hold doors open for people. I'm only sexist on the internet and I have an excellent telephone manner. Where did I learn it?
>> No. 450877 Anonymous
19th April 2022
Tuesday 5:12 pm
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The greatest mystery of our age:

>> No. 450884 Anonymous
19th April 2022
Tuesday 7:32 pm
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Should I apply to enter the Manchester marathon? It's 16th April next year. I'm out of shape, I could probably run about 60 metres before being out of breath, but I feel if I have a target to work towards I could start getting my arse in gear. A marathon, however, may be a bit much to aim for.
>> No. 450885 Anonymous
19th April 2022
Tuesday 7:48 pm
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That would be hard work.
>> No. 450886 Anonymous
19th April 2022
Tuesday 7:59 pm
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Should I aim for a 5k or a 10k instead? I'd like a good year to prepare for it and I only feel like I could do this once I have something booked in, but it seems too early to be looking for 2023.
>> No. 450889 Anonymous
19th April 2022
Tuesday 8:42 pm
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Ride a bike like a normal person.
>> No. 450892 Anonymous
19th April 2022
Tuesday 9:25 pm
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There is a Manchester 10k. That would make a lot more sense to aim for. Any bugger can run that far with a whole load of training; marathons are a different beast. You have The Wall, where your body starts digesting itself to keep running because it has run out of actual energy from food and stuff. Also, I don't know where you live in Manchester, but there is probably somewhere six miles away that you could walk/run to for practice. You could run into Manchester city centre, or Altrincham, or to the Trafford Centre, or the airport, or Stockport, or Salford Quays, or that big reservoir in Audenshaw, or somewhere nice in north Manchester if anywhere in north Manchester is nice, which I don't think it is. Conversely, running 26 miles is going to require you to run laps. There is absolutely nothing 13 miles away in any direction that it's worth running to and then back again. Manchester is not that big.
>> No. 450893 Anonymous
19th April 2022
Tuesday 10:19 pm
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Spent my afternoon at a squat doing some DIY for them, replacing the locks and the like. Smell of the place brought back memories. Felt very mature, doing practical stuff to help out some young adults whose trauma and mental issues mean they have to live like that. Come full circle since the times when I hung out with a similar lot.
>> No. 450904 Anonymous
21st April 2022
Thursday 12:32 pm
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I bought a tub of Danpak, Lidl's knockoff of Lurpak, and it's frozen solid; after a few days all I can really do is scrape shavings off the top of it. Should I try leaving it out of the fridge for a few hours to defrost and see if that does anything or am I just going to be stuck with a solid block of spread?
>> No. 450905 Anonymous
21st April 2022
Thursday 12:54 pm
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Butter doesn't belong in the fridge.
>> No. 450906 Anonymous
21st April 2022
Thursday 1:26 pm
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That's proper butter, not spread.
>> No. 450907 Anonymous
21st April 2022
Thursday 1:47 pm
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Love my girlfriend to death but it's gutting she doesn't want to move to London with me. She thinks it's too overwhelming. Prefers cities the size of Bristol, Cardiff, Nottingham etc. I adore London, such an interesting place with tons to do. Ah well...

Sage for pointless blog post, just gutting.
>> No. 450908 Anonymous
21st April 2022
Thursday 6:00 pm
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You know what to do lad.
>> No. 450909 Anonymous
21st April 2022
Thursday 6:04 pm
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Dump her for a girl with a bigger arse and an Oyster card? Join the Ukrainian Foreign Legion? Compromise on Manchester?
>> No. 450910 Anonymous
21st April 2022
Thursday 6:08 pm
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He probably means piss in her arse and then dump her.
>> No. 450911 Anonymous
21st April 2022
Thursday 10:37 pm
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How demanding can I be in an interview? Basically I've got one for a job I think I'd be good at, and there are two possible locations for work. One is an okay commute, the other is pretty much unviable by public transport. Is it rude for me to say in the interview I refuse to work in the unviable location?
>> No. 450912 Anonymous
21st April 2022
Thursday 11:30 pm
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> Is it rude for me to say in the interview I refuse to work in the unviable location?

Be demanding, the job market is hot and in favour of the employee at the moment. But find a way of being polite about it - a long commute is a perfectly reasonable and normal thing to baulk at.
>> No. 450921 Anonymous
22nd April 2022
Friday 1:08 pm
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You know that cultural encyclopedia trope in Star Trek, The Orville, and pretty much any furturistic setting? Well that actually exists today at https://archive.org/. Check it out; hundreds of categories from videogames to pulp magazines, VHS to microfilm, not to mention all the other shit available. This is awesome.
>> No. 450922 Anonymous
22nd April 2022
Friday 1:20 pm
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Indeed it is.
>> No. 450924 Anonymous
22nd April 2022
Friday 2:31 pm
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Is it normal to feel a bit awkward in a new job for a few weeks?

I'm told I'm normally quite likeable and charming but in my new job in intros and stuff I keep cutting people off by accident, saying minor but awkward things, misunderstanding what people mean etc and I wonder if this is normal or I'm being weird.

It's like I'm having to readjust to how people interact and speak here and am not sure if it's just a me thing or this is not uncommon when integrating somewhere new?
>> No. 450926 Anonymous
22nd April 2022
Friday 3:31 pm
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How would I become a eskimo? There's a igloo near me I want to go to but I'm scared they'll kick me out for being a clueless whitey.
>> No. 450928 Anonymous
22nd April 2022
Friday 4:13 pm
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Go in and ask them.
>> No. 450929 Anonymous
22nd April 2022
Friday 4:27 pm
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That sounds like nitpicking. I doubt anyone else has even noticed.
>> No. 450930 Anonymous
22nd April 2022
Friday 4:37 pm
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Is it normal for cats to watch you piss? I have two cats and one will always run in if she hears me pissing and stick her head close to it. I have definitely pissed on her a few times. My other cat isn't bothered by it whatsoever.

I'd say it's normal to take a while to settle on get on other people's wavelength, particularly as lockdown has affected people's social skills.
>> No. 450931 Anonymous
22nd April 2022
Friday 4:56 pm
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Of all the various terrible acts associated with .gs, do we really need to add pissing on cats to the list?
>> No. 450932 Anonymous
22nd April 2022
Friday 5:34 pm
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TV Tropes.jpg
Do it
>> No. 450933 Anonymous
22nd April 2022
Friday 5:46 pm
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I've just started in a new job too, in a very different sector that I worked before and have felt the same. I think what you're feeling is completely normal.
>> No. 450935 Anonymous
22nd April 2022
Friday 5:48 pm
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I am not deliberately pissing on my cat, she puts her head in the way of my stream.
>> No. 450937 Anonymous
22nd April 2022
Friday 7:03 pm
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Being a bit on the spectrum is not mutually exclusive with being likeable and charming. But yeah you'll get better once you become part of the underlying tribal culture and everyone gets to know how the other thinks.

The same way you do anything, you email the Shaman beforehand with a 'hello, I'm very interested in learning more about the ramblings of an iron-age warlord and don't see any problem with how he blatantly invented messages when it suited him'. They're quite obligated to teach you about Shamanism.

Which one is the dominant one, maybe she thinks you're imposing on her turf.
>> No. 450940 Anonymous
22nd April 2022
Friday 7:36 pm
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This still seems like an aiming problem on your part. Or you have a very tall/sexually deviant cat. I don't know, between this and the way the Vorders thread has gone today things are getting too weird for me. I might go outside or something.
>> No. 450942 Anonymous
22nd April 2022
Friday 8:09 pm
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He's three, she's almost one. Although he's bigger he's a lot more placid and he will let her bully him over their food bowls. She's a lot more demanding.

She leans into the toilet bowl whilst I'm pissing, sometimes to get a closer look and sometimes because she wants to sniff my piss or something. She seems far more interested in when I'm using the toilet than anyone else in the household.
>> No. 450943 Anonymous
22nd April 2022
Friday 8:16 pm
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Have you checked to see if you're in heat?
>> No. 451000 Anonymous
24th April 2022
Sunday 9:15 pm
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I'm getting to that age now my friends invite me round to dinner and it's getting semi formal.

A friend bought a place and is inviting my me and my girlfriend, who he's never met, to have dinner with him and his girlfriend, who I've never met.

My working class up bringing did not prepare me for a dinner party invite from middle class people, so what's the etiquette here?

Should I bring some wine or something? A houseplant? Some sort of gift that straddles 'thanks for cooking me dinner and here's to your new place I'm visiting for the first time' even though he's lived in it over a year? Do I ask him first if he'd like me to bring something?

Help, please.
>> No. 451001 Anonymous
24th April 2022
Sunday 9:26 pm
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Buy a bottle of reasonably priced Chardonnay or Pinot. About 8 quid.

That's it. Wine never goes begging. Don't bring a red unless you're more intimately acquainted with their palette. I've know my best pal for 22 years so I'll bring a bottle of Rioja to hers, but that's dangerous if you don't know. If they do drink red wine, a Rioja is a good choice as everyone likes it.

Dinner itself, just chat bollocks. It's no different from any other social setting, there is just food involved.
>> No. 451002 Anonymous
24th April 2022
Sunday 9:29 pm
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A bottle of something is always appreciated. Make sure your Mrs is hitting it off with her new BFF rather than spending all night having a lad talk about old times.
>> No. 451003 Anonymous
24th April 2022
Sunday 9:58 pm
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Do they have any pampas grass in the front garden?
>> No. 451005 Anonymous
24th April 2022
Sunday 10:54 pm
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Me and my best mate have a longstanding agreement never to let our birds become mates with each other, because it only ever leads to trouble.

We'd both probably see each other more often if not for this rule, because the missuses would arrange all sorts of stuff and drag us along, but you've got to have some principles haven't you.
>> No. 451006 Anonymous
24th April 2022
Sunday 11:04 pm
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>because it only ever leads to trouble

It does?
>> No. 451007 Anonymous
24th April 2022
Sunday 11:14 pm
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Oh yes. You've no chance if they become mates. That's your agency over your social life stone dead there that is.
>> No. 451023 Anonymous
25th April 2022
Monday 1:35 am
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What's going on with the sudden influx of seppos?
>> No. 451026 Anonymous
25th April 2022
Monday 6:49 am
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Revengelad has been playing the long game
>> No. 451027 Anonymous
25th April 2022
Monday 7:08 am
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Its just me posting a lot
>> No. 451030 Anonymous
25th April 2022
Monday 2:27 pm
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Just walked through the door after being out for a few hours. Can't work out if I can smell tuna or cat shit.
>> No. 451031 Anonymous
25th April 2022
Monday 2:34 pm
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It's cat shit.
>> No. 451033 Anonymous
25th April 2022
Monday 5:36 pm
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I'm going to order a big fuckoff takeaway tonight because I'm depressed about the state of the housing market and feel like I'm going to end up living with my mum and dad until I'm in my 40s.

Mondays eh.
>> No. 451034 Anonymous
25th April 2022
Monday 6:01 pm
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Just unironically put "don't kill myself" on this week's to-do.
>> No. 451035 Anonymous
25th April 2022
Monday 6:11 pm
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>> No. 451036 Anonymous
25th April 2022
Monday 8:26 pm
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I just ate 8 french fancies, a tub of ben and jerries ice cream and a garlic bread pizza. All for dinner.
>> No. 451037 Anonymous
25th April 2022
Monday 8:51 pm
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That sounds a bit much.
>> No. 451038 Anonymous
25th April 2022
Monday 9:05 pm
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Yeah I let myself go on that one.
>> No. 451039 Anonymous
25th April 2022
Monday 9:50 pm
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In fairness I don't see how one can eat an individual french fancy. They're barely a couple of bites. I have a strong childhood memory of getting scolded by my grandma for taking two at once, but I mean come on.
>> No. 451040 Anonymous
25th April 2022
Monday 10:54 pm
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I don't mean to rub it in but I touched a boob tonight. And a bum. Good times.

Now I need to quickly do all the work I said I'd do today but dossed on because it was difficult and boring. Quarterly review coming up and I've already been a bit shit because I'm just burning down the holiday time doing the bare minimum.
>> No. 451041 Anonymous
25th April 2022
Monday 10:56 pm
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Was it a good chubster to make us all really jealous? Or more like that Czech greyhound I had last month?
>> No. 451042 Anonymous
25th April 2022
Monday 11:15 pm
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More of a petite Mexican, bit of a muffin-top that I don't doubt will feel amazing slamming into. You'll be pleased to hear that she also looks like one of my aunties.
>> No. 451043 Anonymous
25th April 2022
Monday 11:15 pm
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I really miss women. I should go outside and try talking to one, but it's just so frightening out there. Then again it's frightening to in here too. Time to persuit a third way I think, joining a DiscorSUICIDE.
>> No. 451044 Anonymous
25th April 2022
Monday 11:59 pm
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Don't do that lad, we'd all miss you. I would at least. I've been refreshing this bloody website all day and at least half the time there hadn't even been one post, it's getting far too quiet around here. I remember back when I used to be able to waste an entire afternoon chatting shit on .gs.
>> No. 451045 Anonymous
26th April 2022
Tuesday 12:24 am
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You don't go outside to meet women anymore, you dick about on apps which is much easier than approaching a group of women at a bar. Just be ready to accept you'll be taking whatever you can get, interviewing nearly every candidate that applies and not getting many follow-ups.

It sounds crass but I think most people get hurt on dating apps because the numbers give them an inflated sense of what they can get and how picky they ought to be. So they thumb down people who might just take bad pictures or are different to them in some inconsequential way quite unlike them being truly incompatible. And then when you do get the jackpot she quickly leaves you after you fall for her because you let your guard down and it's a pit of despair because you'll never get a shot like that again.
>> No. 451046 Anonymous
26th April 2022
Tuesday 8:23 am
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Was making my toast and thought to myself how excellently designed the Marmite jar/packaging is. That's a proper product, that.
>> No. 451047 Anonymous
26th April 2022
Tuesday 8:50 am
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Bollocks. Having an aperature diameter less than the body makes for a shoulder of inconvenient scraping.

Also makes transportation less effecient, unless perhaps they are stackd in crates with an interseting upside down layer in the gaps.
>> No. 451048 Anonymous
26th April 2022
Tuesday 8:55 am
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I always pour hot water in and use the last bits in gravy.
>> No. 451049 Anonymous
26th April 2022
Tuesday 9:43 am
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I've just pissed through the gap between the toilet bowl and the toilet seat, so now I've got piss all over my joggers.
>> No. 451050 Anonymous
26th April 2022
Tuesday 10:25 am
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Captain beany?
>> No. 451051 Anonymous
26th April 2022
Tuesday 10:27 am
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I generally have my feet on a stool or push my tiptoes up when I defecate because it's better for you than having your feet flat on the floor, but it does put your knob at a more risky angle.
>> No. 451052 Anonymous
26th April 2022
Tuesday 12:48 pm
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Speak for yourself lad. Mine is pendulous enough I have to make sure it's not nit pressed against the porcelain in the bowl.
>> No. 451053 Anonymous
26th April 2022
Tuesday 1:25 pm
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Don't you get a bit of a stiffy when you poo?
>> No. 451054 Anonymous
26th April 2022
Tuesday 1:36 pm
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Very alarmed that my PC just did a random restart for seemingly no reason. I was playing a game, but it's a game I've played for a total of over fifty hours without incident so I'm a little spooked.
>> No. 451055 Anonymous
26th April 2022
Tuesday 3:14 pm
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Sometimes I've thought about squatting over a newspaper during those diffuclt shits, but I don't really want to start down that rabbit hole.
>> No. 451056 Anonymous
26th April 2022
Tuesday 3:54 pm
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That happens when I hold one in, as soon as it's on the way out though, the effect appears to wear off.

I sometimes get a stiffy when I sneak off to the toilet to send naughty texts at work, and it gets stuck under the rim. Not a pleasant sensation.
>> No. 451057 Anonymous
26th April 2022
Tuesday 4:45 pm
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Amy Winehouse Zombie.jpg
Yo did you ever know Amy Winehouse looked like this?
>> No. 451058 Anonymous
26th April 2022
Tuesday 4:51 pm
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Stop reposting shit that's recently been popular on rudgwicksteamshow.co.uk.
>> No. 451059 Anonymous
26th April 2022
Tuesday 5:55 pm
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I'll have you know I got this one from 9gag. Besides, the biscuit thread got a few replies didn't it? Be glad I put it in a junk thread, you turd.
>> No. 451060 Anonymous
26th April 2022
Tuesday 6:03 pm
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That is such a lie. Nobody actually uses 9gag.
>> No. 451061 Anonymous
26th April 2022
Tuesday 6:10 pm
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I'd be on 9gag far more but I just can't spare the time away from Digg.
>> No. 451062 Anonymous
26th April 2022
Tuesday 7:02 pm
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I prefer Slashdot.
>> No. 451063 Anonymous
26th April 2022
Tuesday 7:32 pm
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Britfa.gs posters being stuck in the past? I'd never have expected it.
>> No. 451064 Anonymous
26th April 2022
Tuesday 8:33 pm
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I'll have you know that I use a state-of-the-art 56k modem to read my newsgroups.
>> No. 451068 Anonymous
27th April 2022
Wednesday 1:20 am
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I'm beginning to think that "eccentric oddball" and "sex criminal" are inseparate from one another. Or men need to be kept in those little cryo coffins from the last level of Escape from Butcher Bay. But I don't want that; I don't have the leg strength to kick my way out of one of those things.
>> No. 451069 Anonymous
27th April 2022
Wednesday 2:14 am
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This discussion has reminded me of a piece of sage .gs wisdom from years ago, that pressing onto your gooch will get the last few drops of piss out, and I've been doing that every time I piss ever since. The original post said "but you can't exactly do that in a public toilet" but fucking watch me.
>> No. 451070 Anonymous
27th April 2022
Wednesday 12:50 pm
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I feel like I would've pointed out at the time that putting your thumb and forefinger on the opposite sides of your shaft and running up like you're emptying a frube will have the same effect. And be anatomically easier to do.

If you want to finger your null-pussy then you'll just have to admit that you're doing it for fun.
>> No. 451071 Anonymous
27th April 2022
Wednesday 2:14 pm
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Squeezing your knob is like emptying half a frube, because your urethra runs along your taint.
>> No. 451074 Anonymous
27th April 2022
Wednesday 5:03 pm
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Is that not a bit fucked up? The bloke isn't even the suspect yet he's on the front page of (my) BBC News with that headline.
>> No. 451076 Anonymous
27th April 2022
Wednesday 5:08 pm
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>The bloke isn't even the suspect
That's an assumption you're making unsupported IMO by the article.
>> No. 451077 Anonymous
27th April 2022
Wednesday 5:09 pm
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I've never squeezed my knob like a Frube.
>> No. 451078 Anonymous
27th April 2022
Wednesday 5:20 pm
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>>451074 >>451076
And we know the suspect sat opposite the alleged victim on the train, which could certainly explain how this photo came into existence.
>> No. 451093 Anonymous
27th April 2022
Wednesday 11:38 pm
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More fucking furries. They're taking over. The age of the furry is upon us. He gets his cock out and everything.

>> No. 451095 Anonymous
28th April 2022
Thursday 12:05 am
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I only object to his middle class poof accent. Foxes, out of any animal, are the proletarian of the countryside. A badger would obviously sound like a toff, but a fox would shank you and nick your wallet.
>> No. 451096 Anonymous
28th April 2022
Thursday 12:10 am
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Have you ever heard a badger? They're screechy and rough as fuck; they also fight each other very hard and are probably a bit bigger than most people think. I get them often in my garden.

I agree that foxes aren't cuddly middle-class types, but badgers are hard as fucking nails and love a fight.
>> No. 451097 Anonymous
28th April 2022
Thursday 12:36 am
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You have a point, but I like to imagine for badgers it's the kind of 'ard like an ex-secret service grandad, who has a sword in his cane and keeps a souvenir Luger under the bed, not a common street brawler. You might think he just likes to smoke a pipe in his cardigan and do the crossword, but he knows how to kill you five different ways from across the room.
>> No. 451098 Anonymous
28th April 2022
Thursday 1:00 am
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Foxes are arseholes, but the rural ones are posh arseholes. I saw a documentary about it once.

>> No. 451099 Anonymous
28th April 2022
Thursday 4:29 am
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I'm fairly certain badgers are an elaborate hoax. You never see them alive, just dead on the side of A-roads.
>> No. 451100 Anonymous
28th April 2022
Thursday 10:48 am
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Sometimes when I'm stressed with work I look at the news or something like this site or play the xbox or go for a run and realise that the worst thing that happens is I get a new job and these comforts are always there.

Feel like any day to day stress can be washed away by just grabbing a coffee.

No real point to this, just a ramble.
>> No. 451101 Anonymous
28th April 2022
Thursday 11:55 am
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I saw one alive once. It was very cool. It really helped me to understand why these brutal psychopathic vermin always manage to be the best character in every animal story they feature in. I have seen live foxes and they're adorable but they make a horrible noise. They definitely don't have the cachet to be my favourite character in The Wind in the Willows and The Animals of Farthing Wood.
>> No. 451107 Anonymous
28th April 2022
Thursday 6:03 pm
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How do I bypass cookie splash screens on news websites?
>> No. 451108 Anonymous
28th April 2022
Thursday 6:05 pm
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Sometimes plugins work, sometimes Inspect Element works.
>> No. 451117 Anonymous
28th April 2022
Thursday 10:24 pm
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I was unaware that Aleister Crowley was really such a wrongun.


Also though, the youtuber Thoughty2 is a bit weird. He is entertaining, but no 29 year old has any business donning a moustache and a white plaid shirt with suspenders. Not even ironically as a hipster. Probably ok if you're a Polish potato farmer in a village 20 miles from Krakow, but in Britain, you need to be a 1950s middle aged dad to not look like a cunt.
>> No. 451118 Anonymous
28th April 2022
Thursday 10:33 pm
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It's just for the clicks. Playing up your Britishness makes you seem more credible to Seppos, even if your research is half-arsed.
>> No. 451119 Anonymous
28th April 2022
Thursday 10:39 pm
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I'm finding his use of only vaguely related stock footage slightly disconcerting.
>> No. 451120 Anonymous
28th April 2022
Thursday 10:52 pm
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>the youtuber Thoughty2 is a bit weird.

He's also been wrong quite a lot, he's one of few YouTubers I've regularly seen snippy rebuttal videos to whenever he stepped on the toes of some community or other by talking out of his (or rather, wikipedia's) arse about their thing. He doesn't seem to do the research very well.

He also has that supremely annoying variety of southern accent where he pronounces "that2 as "vat" and "three" as "free".

The youtuber exurb1a, there's one to watch. He's currently embroiled in a sex scandal (as all youtubers inevitably are) but as sex scandals go, it's a particularly juicy one. Apparently he tried to brain wash this autistic lass over the course of several years as "an experiment", and for the last couple of years he's been hiding in the Czech Republic avoiding his court summons (while still producing and uploading videos).

Great videos though.
>> No. 451121 Anonymous
28th April 2022
Thursday 10:57 pm
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That is a total plague with many youtubers and absolutely annoys the living piss out of me. It's not just the overacted generic stereotypicality of it, but that a lot of particular footage snippets are used by loads of different channels over and over.

Just use a title card, and you'll even be forgiven for using Comic Sans, in red and animated over a blue patterned background. If you just avoid the same old stock footage.
>> No. 451122 Anonymous
28th April 2022
Thursday 11:05 pm
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>and for the last couple of years he's been hiding in the Czech Republic

Interesting, that's also where the youtuber Simon Whistler lives. The one with the ten dozen different channels like Megaprojects, Today I Found Out, Sideprojects, Geographics, etc etc.
>> No. 451123 Anonymous
28th April 2022
Thursday 11:08 pm
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About 80% of my YouTube feed is just blokes in sheds doing boring things. I often watch them while doing boring things in my shed. If I got a massive telly down there, it'd be like having a window into someone else's shed.
>> No. 451125 Anonymous
28th April 2022
Thursday 11:25 pm
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I reckon it must be some sort of tax haven for digital content ad revenue or something.

Or just really cheap rent maybe, so you can make a living off a middling channel in a way that just wouldn't be possible without living in the darkest of dives over here.
>> No. 451126 Anonymous
28th April 2022
Thursday 11:34 pm
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IIRC Exurb1a is in Bulgaria. The bird he's supposed to have diddled is clearly a total mentalist, but so is he. Beware anyone who seeks fame.

Whistler has built a small empire in the Czech Republic. They've got loads of graduates with good English who'll write scripts and edit videos for peanuts, he's got an authoritative British accent. He's basically figured out how to turn Wikipedia articles and cheap Eastern European labour directly into cash.
>> No. 451128 Anonymous
28th April 2022
Thursday 11:48 pm
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Czech Republic, Bulgaria, totato, pomato.
>> No. 451129 Anonymous
28th April 2022
Thursday 11:50 pm
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I'm sure Simon Whistler's end goal is to run all the YouTube channels.
>> No. 451130 Anonymous
29th April 2022
Friday 12:14 am
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For the second time in a few weeks I've woken up with my throat burning because some sick has popped up and gone back down again. At least I found a mini milk to soothe it.

In my experience Czech birds are really fit. Maybe he just watched loads of Public Agent videos.
>> No. 451138 Anonymous
29th April 2022
Friday 9:35 am
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I need more brown waste to use in my hugelkultur, considering just using stacks of free newspapers.
>> No. 451145 Anonymous
29th April 2022
Friday 5:47 pm
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How unwelcome would an animated porn thread be?
>> No. 451146 Anonymous
29th April 2022
Friday 5:58 pm
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Keep it to /y/ and you're golden.
>> No. 451149 Anonymous
29th April 2022
Friday 8:33 pm
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>How unwelcome would an animated porn thread be?
I'd have thought somewhat. I was banned one time for posting conspiracies in /boo/.
>> No. 451154 Anonymous
29th April 2022
Friday 10:59 pm
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I'll bet you a tenner and my two remaining beers it was about Jewish people.
>> No. 451162 Anonymous
30th April 2022
Saturday 7:42 am
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Is that Angela Rayner?
>> No. 451163 Anonymous
30th April 2022
Saturday 8:50 am
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Looks more like Mordaunt to me.
>> No. 451165 Anonymous
30th April 2022
Saturday 10:21 am
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You've got to be honest though, when Jewish people are exempt from conspiracies, it does make them look a lot more sus of being involved in loads of conspiracies, doesn't it. I'm not saying they are, but just if I was Head of Jew PR I'd immediately see this as a huge own-goal that's only going to encourage the conspiracists to keep scrutinising Jews.

Jews are people like anybody else, they're more than capable of being in a conspiracy or two if they want to. Like that time they all collaborated to smear the leader of the Labour party with something that categorically wasn't true.
>> No. 451166 Anonymous
30th April 2022
Saturday 11:03 am
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Just let it go about Corbyn, jeez.
>> No. 451171 Anonymous
30th April 2022
Saturday 3:36 pm
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That's clearly not what I was saying, you fucking prick. Here's a conspiracy; give me your address and then you go missing because I have killed you. Oh, fuck, I ruined it.
>> No. 451174 Anonymous
30th April 2022
Saturday 6:08 pm
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So? I was saying another, different thing, inspired by the thing you said, you spod. Not every post you read is an argument against you.

The energy this kind of post gives off is very bizarre. You're clearly of very delicate and easily offended sensibilities, yet your first response is to go directly to the kinds of internet death threats most people have realised sound retarded by the time their balls have dropped. I suspect the only reason you're here is because Rudgwick bans you for that sort of thing these days.

You're posting cringe, is what I'm saying.
>> No. 451175 Anonymous
30th April 2022
Saturday 6:20 pm
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>That's clearly not what I was saying
Why're you prentending to be me?

Strangely enough I could do with a few tins, thanks.
>> No. 451258 Anonymous
3rd May 2022
Tuesday 2:07 pm
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I'm not saying for definite that Ian Rush overtook me on the M180, but I don't know who else would be driving a black Mercedes AMG GT with the licence plate 'MR I RUSH'.
>> No. 451259 Anonymous
3rd May 2022
Tuesday 3:19 pm
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Could be someone who is just notoriously impatient, lad.
>> No. 451260 Anonymous
3rd May 2022
Tuesday 3:20 pm
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Adam Hargreaves when he's in a hurry?
>> No. 451261 Anonymous
3rd May 2022
Tuesday 3:45 pm
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The world's fastest radiologist?
>> No. 451263 Anonymous
3rd May 2022
Tuesday 5:35 pm
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Did cocaine (with lots of alcohol) over the weekend. Great night but I feel depressed as fuck right now. I know it wasn't wise, as I take escitalopram, but I'm really paying for it now. Any tips on how to cheer up?
>> No. 451264 Anonymous
3rd May 2022
Tuesday 5:45 pm
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Have a massive wank.
>> No. 451265 Anonymous
3rd May 2022
Tuesday 5:51 pm
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Just accept that you're paying the price for a big night and wait it out. Booze and drugs are the Wonga loans of happiness - whatever you borrow today has to be paid back with interest tomorrow. Drink some water, eat something decent, try to get some kip and give your brain a chance to repay the dopamine debt.
>> No. 451266 Anonymous
3rd May 2022
Tuesday 5:56 pm
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Have a big spoonful of jam straight out of the jar.
>> No. 451267 Anonymous
3rd May 2022
Tuesday 6:24 pm
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If you have an Ice Cream van that comes round, get one.
If it's a lady selling the stuff, piss in her arse.
>> No. 451268 Anonymous
3rd May 2022
Tuesday 6:41 pm
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Cold and flu tablets, lots of sugar, salt, and water.
>> No. 451269 Anonymous
3rd May 2022
Tuesday 6:45 pm
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Best I can do you is Rupert Grint.
>> No. 451270 Anonymous
3rd May 2022
Tuesday 7:15 pm
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This will now be my default suggestion whenever someone's ill or injured.
>> No. 451271 Anonymous
3rd May 2022
Tuesday 8:26 pm
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How profitable are ice cream vans? It seems like there's quite bit of upfront involved for the van and I bet the council wants a good slice of your profits. A lot of stress as well from 'orrible kids and their even worse parents.

Frankly, I think I will give such a career change a miss, which is convenient as I've better ways to spend a summer than sat in a van at the park trying to attract children.
>> No. 451272 Anonymous
3rd May 2022
Tuesday 8:55 pm
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What about sitting in a van in the park attracting fat girls eh? Eh? Think on, lads.
>> No. 451273 Anonymous
3rd May 2022
Tuesday 9:09 pm
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That depends on whether you're using them to deal drugs or not.


>> No. 451274 Anonymous
3rd May 2022
Tuesday 9:26 pm
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Judge Penney Azcarate.jpg
I think she looks really quite cute. I've been checking in on the livestreamed case every so often. I mean, I wan't Depp to win because mens rights and all that shit, but the current testimony doesn't sound that great on his part.
>> No. 451275 Anonymous
3rd May 2022
Tuesday 9:39 pm
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Depp is obviously a shambolic wreckhead, but Heard seems genuinely evil.
>> No. 451276 Anonymous
3rd May 2022
Tuesday 10:58 pm
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She has borderline personality disorder and histrionic personality disorder, according to an expert who interviewed her. That first one is known for making people act like mental psychos, and the second one is something I've never heard of but has clearly been named to describe a truly horrific type of person. She might as well have been diagnosed with Mental Bitch Syndrome. So it's not her fault, but indeed, this tragic misfortune has created one exceedingly mental bitch.
>> No. 451277 Anonymous
4th May 2022
Wednesday 12:42 am
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>So it's not her fault
>> No. 451278 Anonymous
4th May 2022
Wednesday 1:03 am
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I still would, though, and that means I am an empowering fisherperson, so watch your mouth.
>> No. 451279 Anonymous
4th May 2022
Wednesday 1:14 am
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Don't stick your dick in crazy. Don't put your dick in the same postcode as the craziest woman in the western world.
>> No. 451280 Anonymous
4th May 2022
Wednesday 1:29 am
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>> No. 451281 Anonymous
4th May 2022
Wednesday 2:31 am
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She's not the sexiest woman in the western world, not by a long shot.
>> No. 451282 Anonymous
4th May 2022
Wednesday 4:47 am
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I don't think it's wise to sleep with someone who will shit on your side of the bed if she gets mad at you.
>> No. 451283 Anonymous
4th May 2022
Wednesday 8:11 am
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Unless you're into that sort of thing.
>> No. 451284 Anonymous
4th May 2022
Wednesday 8:59 am
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Careful now.
>> No. 451285 Anonymous
4th May 2022
Wednesday 1:21 pm
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Is "Consider if you are truly mentally and emotionally capable of supporting a partner with their own mental health issues" word filtered?
>> No. 451286 Anonymous
4th May 2022
Wednesday 3:27 pm
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Why would it be? Sounds like good advice.
>> No. 451287 Anonymous
4th May 2022
Wednesday 3:43 pm
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It's the filter for avoid mental hags.
>> No. 451289 Anonymous
4th May 2022
Wednesday 5:02 pm
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I bought tins of Tunisian chopped tomatoes without realising they have garlic in them until after I'd added minced garlic to the pan. My breath is going to proper stink later.
>> No. 451290 Anonymous
4th May 2022
Wednesday 6:02 pm
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Shawn the sheep.gif
My internet contract is up in a couple of weeks, thank fuck. Back to the real world.
Y'all a bunch of pseud and arseholes, shan't be missed.
Good day.
>> No. 451291 Anonymous
4th May 2022
Wednesday 6:06 pm
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Hate to see you go, but love to watch you leave. Good luck!
>> No. 451292 Anonymous
4th May 2022
Wednesday 6:16 pm
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Careful of the shed door on your way out.
>> No. 451293 Anonymous
4th May 2022
Wednesday 6:20 pm
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Make sure you get a lengthy ban on the final day of your contract.

Go on, do something pwopa nawty.
>> No. 451294 Anonymous
4th May 2022
Wednesday 6:30 pm
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I went out there recently. It was awful. There was no internet for one thing.
>> No. 451295 Anonymous
4th May 2022
Wednesday 8:27 pm
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I really can't get over this comment I have just seen on Facebook, about the Americans looking at banning abortion again. I don't really know either of the people discussing it well enough to get involved, but they appear to be taking it at face value:

>Whilst I agree with supporting the ladies affected by the different situations mentioned in this post, surely the decision to terminate pregnancy could be made much sooner than 40 weeks.

It's not being treated as a joke at all. They both seem to just accept this. Both of them are female, and the one I at least know a bit definitely has kids, so I'm just really confused.
>> No. 451296 Anonymous
4th May 2022
Wednesday 8:42 pm
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Abortion is a really difficult and sensitive issue that often leads to angry shouting matches, but I think there are reasonable points on both sides. I'm all for killing babies, but I don't like the idea of women having choices.
>> No. 451297 Anonymous
4th May 2022
Wednesday 8:50 pm
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I tried to look up who originally made that ancient joke but instead discovered some sort of inspirational-quote-based smear campaign against Zach Braff.
>> No. 451298 Anonymous
4th May 2022
Wednesday 9:02 pm
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>40 weeks
Oh wow. I'm inclided to wonder what happens to all those stem cells and organs from the 'biological waste'.
>> No. 451299 Anonymous
4th May 2022
Wednesday 9:03 pm
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40 weeks.jpg
For cotext
>> No. 451300 Anonymous
4th May 2022
Wednesday 9:06 pm
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That's still better than I thought. As far as I'm aware, babies are born at 38 weeks usually. But I can very much imagine new parents ringing the doctor and asking if it's too late to get a refund on their new two-week-old screaming shit machine. As a joke, it works fantastically. But I don't think she was joking!
>> No. 451301 Anonymous
5th May 2022
Thursday 1:00 pm
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Heard back from a job interview. They said there was no negative feedback, I was passionate, I was perfect for the role, they want to work with me. BUT. In the points based interview thing I didn't quite cut the mustard. HOWEVER. They will keep my details and contact me regarding future roles, and have given me the opportunity to do a training course related to the role.

Don't know if the whole "we'll keep you on record" thing is false hope, but we'll see.
>> No. 451302 Anonymous
5th May 2022
Thursday 1:09 pm
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I definitely remember fake Zach Braff quotes being a meme on 4chan ~10 years ago. It could be older than that, I'm very bad at accurately dating things that have happened on the internet.

Usually when there's a points thing involved that means they've fudged it so that the internal candidate they wanted to hire all along but had to appease HR by advertising externally gets the role.

As I've said before, the toughest thing about interviewing is that you can't control who you're up against. You can be perfect for a role and lose out against someone marginally better.
>> No. 451303 Anonymous
5th May 2022
Thursday 5:53 pm
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Bought myself some indoor shoes today.
>> No. 451304 Anonymous
5th May 2022
Thursday 6:00 pm
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They're called slippers.
>> No. 451305 Anonymous
5th May 2022
Thursday 6:01 pm
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No, mate. I bought shoes that I'm only going to wear indoors. Slippers are for people in hospices and people about to be sent to hospices.
>> No. 451306 Anonymous
5th May 2022
Thursday 6:02 pm
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>> No. 451307 Anonymous
5th May 2022
Thursday 6:14 pm
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>> No. 451308 Anonymous
5th May 2022
Thursday 10:47 pm
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Something about being in the office makes me horny. I don't know if it's because when I go in I'm pretty much the only lad there with a women all around me or it's just the combination of the place being hot and the fact I can't have a wank.

Anyone else had this? Am I just getting sexually excited about the workplace?

Why? Not only is it bad for your body in multiple ways to wear shoes all day but it's only going to get uncomfortable with summer.
>> No. 451309 Anonymous
5th May 2022
Thursday 10:53 pm
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I donno about the office, but this scene in Peep Show makes me horney every time. Understated cupboard sex for the uptight and sexually repressed .. Dobbies character was pretty good to begin with but toward the end of the series she changed dramatically. Yeah.
>> No. 451310 Anonymous
6th May 2022
Friday 1:04 am
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Chart 1 - new bars-01.png
This reminds me of the Thin Blue Line thread, apparently the best place to meet someone is at work. It's statistics but can you imagine that, not only having history with a woman who works on another floor but building your life at work like that.

Peep Show illustrated the fantasy but I bet it's like those Japanese comics about mothers, nice to think about but then your real life mum gets drunk and it becomes a nightmare.
>> No. 451311 Anonymous
6th May 2022
Friday 1:18 am
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This is one of those statistics that really doesn't say much, though, frankly. Where's the best place to find a partner- The place you already spend the overwhelming majority of time? Well, who would have guessed.

I couldn't stand working with my partner though, even if it was different departments. Most women just can't keep their mouths shut, so every little tiff you have would be common knowledge around the office. Everyone would know that weird sex thing you do. Everyone would know your embarrassing secrets.

Anyway I'm willing to bet a good number of those "through mutual friends" answers are lies and they really met on an app. It's just the default thing you say.
>> No. 451312 Anonymous
6th May 2022
Friday 7:02 am
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I think the dull, sterile atmosphere of an office makes people more attractive. In the absence of any other distraction, a woman who'd normally barely register on your consciousness can become an obsession.
>> No. 451313 Anonymous
6th May 2022
Friday 7:27 am
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Am I going a bit nuts or does this only add up to 94%?
>> No. 451314 Anonymous
6th May 2022
Friday 9:09 am
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No, you're right.
>> No. 451315 Anonymous
6th May 2022
Friday 10:28 am
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Yes that's a well known phenomenon - Office Hot is the term I believe.
>> No. 451316 Anonymous
6th May 2022
Friday 1:31 pm
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Is that really how they decide a tie? By a toin coss? I'm actually quite impressed, for some reason.

>There's been drama in Carmarthenshire where one ward has gone down to the toss of a coin.
>David Darkin and fellow Labour candidate Philip Warlow were level on 596 votes each.
>So the only way to decide who would get the third seat in the Bigyn ward was either heads or tails - with Philip Warlow guessing correctly.
>> No. 451317 Anonymous
6th May 2022
Friday 2:50 pm
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The maths were probably done by a woman.
>> No. 451318 Anonymous
6th May 2022
Friday 3:38 pm
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She didn't fancy a second date then?
>> No. 451319 Anonymous
6th May 2022
Friday 5:22 pm
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The quince tree in the back garden has started flowering.

The smell is peculiar, it's flowery but with a distinct hint of stale poo.

Which is only logical because the same chemical compound that produces a rich flowery smell in many flowers is also in higher concentrations the main component of the typical smell of faeces.

Quince itself is a great tree to have, it's very decorative, as are the bright yellow fruit in autumn, and you can make very tasty jam from it or even quince wine. Can recommend. But allow about ten years for it to yield a quantity of fruit worth bothering with.
>> No. 451320 Anonymous
6th May 2022
Friday 5:57 pm
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Chippy tea has been a bit of a disappointment. My ranking of best chippy in the area is very fluid due to the lack of consistency.
>> No. 451321 Anonymous
6th May 2022
Friday 7:57 pm
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He's going for it again lads.
>> No. 451322 Anonymous
6th May 2022
Friday 8:55 pm
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Kunt hasn't done a decent song since 2015.
>> No. 451324 Anonymous
7th May 2022
Saturday 2:45 pm
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He definitely no longer seems skilled at the craft of funny songs. Boris Johnson Is A Fucking Cunt/Still A Fucking Cunt/Prince Andrew Is A Sweaty carpet-bagger is just one basic song with slightly altered lyrics. Where's the originality that was present in The Wrong Ian Watkins or Jimmy saville & The Sexy Kids?
>> No. 451329 Anonymous
7th May 2022
Saturday 5:41 pm
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My favourites are:



There's a Verhoeven-esque quality to the way some of his songs bury quite biting satire under low-brow vulgarity.
>> No. 451337 Anonymous
7th May 2022
Saturday 9:07 pm
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I could title a Kunt song in five seconds.

Let's see, um... I Have a Ukranian Chained in My House; Wanking Out the Window; My Sister Shits Her Pants; The Queen's Got a Dusty Gash.

Hilarity. Money now please.
>> No. 451338 Anonymous
7th May 2022
Saturday 9:11 pm
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How did Dobby change? She was quite consistently the most decent and well-adjusted character on the programme right through to the end.
>> No. 451340 Anonymous
7th May 2022
Saturday 9:46 pm
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Lads if I've eaten too much edibles and I'm not enjoying myself, how do I bring myself back to normality? I've already had a wank.
>> No. 451341 Anonymous
7th May 2022
Saturday 9:48 pm
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>> No. 451342 Anonymous
7th May 2022
Saturday 9:59 pm
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Buy the ticket, take the ride.
>> No. 451346 Anonymous
7th May 2022
Saturday 10:19 pm
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Also and I know this sounds a bit dramatic but I have this intense feeling of a hyper focused, depression ray hitting me and I feel like I want to kill myself. Rather unenjoyable. It feels as if it has stripped me of all the defenses that anti depressants build up in the psyche.
>> No. 451348 Anonymous
7th May 2022
Saturday 11:04 pm
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Have a nice big greasy meal and see if you can nod off.
>> No. 451352 Anonymous
8th May 2022
Sunday 12:21 am
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Sounds like the perfect time to put on some Pink Floyd.
>> No. 451354 Anonymous
8th May 2022
Sunday 12:43 am
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What I like to do when I accidentally get a bit too high and existential is watch very mentally unchallenging YouTube videos about people in a much worse situation than me. Stuff like cave divers getting stuck and drowning horribly, near death incidents of people getting lost in the polar, and so on.

I know it sounds counter-productive but the important thing is it doesn't stimulate me to overthink anything about my own life, it's just morbidly compelling and bingeable, like eating a whole chocolate cake to yourself. I suppose it's just like how lasses love true crime and that, only I find crime stuff boring, I prefer hearing about mountain climbers getting stuck on the north face of the Eiger and shit.

Also, eat a whole chocolate cake to yourself. You did pack munch, right lad?
>> No. 451355 Anonymous
8th May 2022
Sunday 12:53 am
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This thing.jpg
I've broken the clasp on two of my lanyards and with covid it's a bastard to get new ones as I'd need to be in the office at the same time as the office manager. I see that I can order the clasps online so presumably I go to some place that does alterations and ask them to undo the sticking holding the metal, add the metal clasp before sowing-up for a few quid.

Or do clothing alterations places stock those clasp things? I don't know but you might.
>> No. 451356 Anonymous
8th May 2022
Sunday 12:57 am
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How important is this lanyard that you'd go to such lengths?
>> No. 451357 Anonymous
8th May 2022
Sunday 1:00 am
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Sentimental value, I've looked into replacing online but with logos and shit they'll only do runs of 25.
>> No. 451358 Anonymous
8th May 2022
Sunday 1:12 am
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Why can't you be in the office at the same time as the office manager?
>> No. 451359 Anonymous
8th May 2022
Sunday 1:15 am
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You could just get one of these :

>> No. 451360 Anonymous
8th May 2022
Sunday 1:15 am
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>>451358 Soz for double-posting

You could probably find a tiny carabiner that would fit through either the loop that the clasp goes through, or just through the fabric loop itself. It wouldn't be proper, but it would hardly be unsightly.
>> No. 451361 Anonymous
8th May 2022
Sunday 1:48 am
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I got bored and cut open the broken clasp with scissors and then just used an old split key ring I found in a drawer.
>> No. 451369 Anonymous
9th May 2022
Monday 11:31 am
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I've just got back from Asda. I don't know why it's taken me more than two years of WFH to try it out, but going to the supermarket during normal working hours is so much better. It's far less busy. The lack of noise meant I could listen to the bangers on Rollback Radio. Even though it was a Monday morning there was loads of reduced produce to go through.

10/10 do recommend doing your weekly shop on a Monday morning.
>> No. 451370 Anonymous
9th May 2022
Monday 11:34 am
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I used to do mine at 1am after work, it was fantastic. Any later and you run the risk of the shop being even busier, with restocking and online order picking, but at around 12-1, the shop is yours.
>> No. 451371 Anonymous
9th May 2022
Monday 11:48 am
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I was a little concerned when I got there as the car park was quite full, but it didn't seem busy anywhere apart from the tills and I always use scan & go so I was straight in and out. It also made a huge difference that the other customers weren't riff-raff; instead of the great unwashed screaming at their kids I had pensioners whilstling along to House of Fun by Madness. I think I can see the appeal of why people pay the premium to go somewhere like Waitrose for a much more peaceful experience.

First thing Monday morning also had the advantage that all of the shelves were fully stocked. It's been weeks since I've been able to get a cantaloupe and they had shitloads.
>> No. 451372 Anonymous
9th May 2022
Monday 11:49 am
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I fucking fucking fucking hate fucking estate fucking agents.
>> No. 451373 Anonymous
9th May 2022
Monday 11:56 am
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I'd caution against going too far into weekday shopping as you can hit the rush of cattle who have no sense of order or purpose, a few weeks back I did a shop for example where the line seemed huge for the tills until I realised that everyone was queuing up to use the two checkouts taking cash.

I find 8-9pm as optimum for me, not many people and certainly no kids about but still early enough that you can swoop in on the discounted bakery goods. The people you do see are a load of sad adults coming in with specific items to collect and aiming to leave as quickly as possible with as little imposition on the world as possible - my kind of people.
>> No. 451374 Anonymous
9th May 2022
Monday 12:12 pm
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Look at this posh bastard, shopping at Asda in this economy.

I always seem to spend more when I go to Asda than to a Tesco or Sainsbos, even though the prices are generally lower. They seem to have consistently the broadest range, so I end up buying stuff I don't strictly need, but haven't had in a while, or stocking up on condiments and seasonings etc.

Morrissons are wank so I never go there, and Aldi/Lidl etc just never have half the shit you want, so you only save money at the expense of the time you have to spend calling round the other supermarkets anyway to get the bits they didn't have.
>> No. 451375 Anonymous
9th May 2022
Monday 12:22 pm
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I tend to do most of my shopping at Aldi and Lidl, but every few weeks I'll have to do a 'big shop' at somewhere like Asda to top up on the things you can't get there like cereal, decent vegetarian food and edible soup.
>> No. 451376 Anonymous
9th May 2022
Monday 12:52 pm
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If you ask me the problem with Asda is that it's not posh enough. It has a fundamentally proletarian problem where the products it offers are processed shite and false economies where you end up leaving with a basket of nonsense products that lack nutrition so as to numb your mind and leave your body tired.

Lidl is better in that aspect because for the basics it is absolutely value for money and those are things like veg and chicken that you can't really fuck up. For anything else there's a proper supermarket where you can pick up the little bits, like you get the pasta and mushrooms from Lidl and the pesto from Waitrose own-brand.
>> No. 451377 Anonymous
9th May 2022
Monday 3:08 pm
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It depends on your expectations. Their Asda-brand deep-pan peperoni pizza is my guilty pleasure. Of course it's low-quality processed shite, but at £1, you can hardly expect gourmet dining. It's my go-to sometimes when I'm working at home late at night and can't be arsed to order take away.
>> No. 451378 Anonymous
9th May 2022
Monday 6:18 pm
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The bag on my chips say they cook in 20 minutes, but they've been in for almost 30 and they're still not ready.
>> No. 451379 Anonymous
9th May 2022
Monday 7:08 pm
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ARE LIZ has pulled out of the State Opening ceremony.

She must be rapidly on the decline.
>> No. 451380 Anonymous
9th May 2022
Monday 7:39 pm
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Which state's being opened?
>> No. 451381 Anonymous
9th May 2022
Monday 7:41 pm
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Maybe it's dual element and one has gone.
>> No. 451382 Anonymous
9th May 2022
Monday 8:14 pm
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The state she'll be lying in three months from now.

Obviously I would like her to live forever, but you know.
>> No. 451383 Anonymous
9th May 2022
Monday 9:36 pm
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Maybe she's just pregnant again.
>> No. 451384 Anonymous
9th May 2022
Monday 9:48 pm
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There's only one man she's been in regular contact with and he'd probably do it.
>> No. 451385 Anonymous
9th May 2022
Monday 9:51 pm
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If she's getting an extra day off, the rest of us should too. One extra bank holiday after 70 years on the throne is just fucking stingy.
>> No. 451386 Anonymous
9th May 2022
Monday 11:15 pm
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I need to know where takeaways get their filthy synthetic chemically manufactured chocolate fudge cake from. I can't keep ordering a burger and a bottle of coke just for an excuse to get a slice of fondant and brown food colouring in the shape of a cake.
>> No. 451387 Anonymous
9th May 2022
Monday 11:38 pm
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I've never got cake from a takeaway but have a gander at this, used to see orders from loads of places whenever I took deliveries off these guys

>> No. 451388 Anonymous
10th May 2022
Tuesday 12:20 am
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That's the problem with the Queen. She's pulled out because of her "episodic mobility issues". She's 96; just get one of your 60 million subjects to push you in a wheelchair. Are you too good for a wheelchair? Can't make a speech in a dressing gown; you need your crown and massive ermine cape like some sort of superhero Liberace? I shat myself at work once and just kept working like nothing had happened. That's what's wrong with the monarchy these days; they're so bloody uppity.
>> No. 451389 Anonymous
10th May 2022
Tuesday 8:08 am
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Probably waiting on the completion of the Royal Mobility Scooter. Blinged out with gold plating and emeralds.
>> No. 451390 Anonymous
10th May 2022
Tuesday 10:09 am
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Colin Murray's presenting Countdown now. Listening to him on Radio 1 was more or less how I developed a taste in music. Obviously he's just a broadcaster, but it's making me feel weird nonetheless.
>> No. 451391 Anonymous
10th May 2022
Tuesday 10:40 am
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I pissed my bed last night. Wasn't drunk, went for a long piss before I went to bed, and yet I did a massive piss while asleep. My girlfriend said it might be the meds I'm on, but in three years of these meds this is only the second time I've pissed myself.
>> No. 451392 Anonymous
10th May 2022
Tuesday 10:43 am
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Apparently she's regularly using a wheelchair but doesn't want to be seen using it in public, because she's from the past and still thinks that wheelchairs are embarrassing.

The Last Leg offered to build her a wheelthrone, but I reckon she should get the lads off Robot Wars to build her an Iron Throne with flamethrowers and that.
>> No. 451393 Anonymous
10th May 2022
Tuesday 11:09 am
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When times nearly up, to settle your scores, you get a Mechathrone, it's Robot Wars.
>> No. 451394 Anonymous
10th May 2022
Tuesday 2:10 pm
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>> No. 451395 Anonymous
10th May 2022
Tuesday 3:29 pm
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What exactly do the Post Office do if you actually tell them the thing you're trying to post is worth loads of money? Because they always ask, but I never tell.
>> No. 451396 Anonymous
10th May 2022
Tuesday 3:39 pm
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You pay a bit more to post, but it's also covered for more if it goes missing.
>> No. 451397 Anonymous
10th May 2022
Tuesday 3:55 pm
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I did it, I bought an MX-5 like I said I was going to.
>> No. 451398 Anonymous
10th May 2022
Tuesday 4:06 pm
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How's your hairdressing business been doing since lockdown? Down on numbers due to people buying their own clippers?
>> No. 451399 Anonymous
10th May 2022
Tuesday 4:14 pm
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Bugger me, that was yonks ago. I’m pretty sure that was before used cars went the way of the graphics cards, price wise. Is it nice?

Okay, thanks. I wonder if I should ruminate somewhat on why my instinct is to lie immediately when asked questions out of the blue like that? Probably not.
>> No. 451400 Anonymous
10th May 2022
Tuesday 4:24 pm
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It's a 2003 with one previous owner, a retiree who used it as a Sunday car, 23,000 miles. I did end up paying a bit more than I originally planned, but I got exactly what I wanted. Them being hobby cars, you see a lot of them that have been put through all manners of mods and usually with high mileage, so I'm pleased to have found a stock NB that's basically just been ticked over every few weeks for the last 20 years.

I'm looking forward to these kinds of jokes being part of my everday life going forward.
>> No. 451401 Anonymous
10th May 2022
Tuesday 5:04 pm
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All the best used cars are pensioner spec. Travel sweets in the glovebox, a motoring atlas under the passenger seat, low mileage and a full service history. As long as it doesn't smell of burned clutch, it's a guaranteed winner.
>> No. 451402 Anonymous
11th May 2022
Wednesday 5:53 pm
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My former boss got in touch with me out of the blue on LinkedIn today to say she could sort me out with a job if I wanted her to. We're now doing the same role and it turns out I'm on more than her.
>> No. 451403 Anonymous
11th May 2022
Wednesday 7:01 pm
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Male privilege. You bastard.
>> No. 451405 Anonymous
11th May 2022
Wednesday 8:41 pm
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She should be on a fair bit more than me, but the biggest thing that will be holding her back is the fact she's unhinged rather than the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society.
>> No. 451407 Anonymous
11th May 2022
Wednesday 9:55 pm
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Pick, and if it isn't 7 or 4, are you really on the right website?
>> No. 451408 Anonymous
11th May 2022
Wednesday 10:10 pm
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7 and 8 are the only correct answers
>> No. 451409 Anonymous
11th May 2022
Wednesday 10:13 pm
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Oh Simon.
>> No. 451410 Anonymous
11th May 2022
Wednesday 10:44 pm
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5 is intriguingly androgynous, 7 has the most junk in the trunk, 4 is the complete package but I'm going to have to say 1 because she reminds me of someone who bullied me in school. I feel like having her sit on my face would be cathartic. 8 can join in if she doesn't mind lubing up her stump.

>> No. 451411 Anonymous
11th May 2022
Wednesday 10:50 pm
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I'll take a 5 but I can't say any of these women really do it for me.

7 looks misleading to me. I can see her turning around and it being a Hank Hill arse.
>> No. 451413 Anonymous
11th May 2022
Wednesday 11:22 pm
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Pretty sure you're a homosexualist m8.
>> No. 451415 Anonymous
12th May 2022
Thursday 8:01 pm
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I just held in explosive diarrhea for an entire two-hour evening class. I was too afraid to relieve myself in the venue's toilet facilities.
>> No. 451416 Anonymous
12th May 2022
Thursday 8:26 pm
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Why, was there a massive spider in the bowl?

Unless you were in someone's house, they've almost certainly got a cleaner who has seen much worse than whatever you were going to do.
>> No. 451417 Anonymous
12th May 2022
Thursday 10:41 pm
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Blimey, all these years later and Freeman’s Mind finally made it to Ravenholm.
>> No. 451418 Anonymous
13th May 2022
Friday 12:08 am
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My dad's had a heart attack, and I live in a different country.
>> No. 451419 Anonymous
13th May 2022
Friday 9:01 am
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I'm very sorry to hear that. I guess nobody else has any helpful tips to offer either. Hopefully he will recover.
>> No. 451420 Anonymous
13th May 2022
Friday 11:30 am
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Ooh apparently Japan is opening up to us gaijin again. Can't wait to go back eventually and stuff my face.
>> No. 451421 Anonymous
13th May 2022
Friday 12:02 pm
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Interesting. What is the average BMI of a Japanese woman?
>> No. 451422 Anonymous
13th May 2022
Friday 12:15 pm
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Fucking knew that arsehole wasn't buying Twitter, fucking knew it man.
>> No. 451423 Anonymous
13th May 2022
Friday 12:48 pm
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I fucking love it when you finish a game and then the main title screen changes. It's such a minor thing but it fills me with joy.
>> No. 451424 Anonymous
13th May 2022
Friday 1:03 pm
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Basically nothing. My understanding is they are very strict about fatness and really despise fat people over there. Japan is full of fabulous magic, but I'm pretty sure most of the people there are uptight twats.
>> No. 451425 Anonymous
13th May 2022
Friday 1:27 pm
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There is, however, a really popular fetish/porn scene for fat women.
>> No. 451426 Anonymous
13th May 2022
Friday 2:29 pm
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Saw some pure cut, unreformed, 2008-era emo kids at the train station today. Didn't check their shoes out but I'd put money on them wearing a pair of these or all black Converse.
>> No. 451427 Anonymous
13th May 2022
Friday 2:41 pm
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It's a thing again now, apparently. I've seen a load where I live. Along with a more Goth look.
>> No. 451428 Anonymous
13th May 2022
Friday 4:10 pm
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Sainsburys has a new posh olive oil in that's a bit cloudy, so there's a sign up on the shelf explaining that it's normal for olive oil to go cloudy at room temperature. Which is true. But that raises the question: Why are none of the other 'olive oil' bottles cloudy at the same temperature?
>> No. 451429 Anonymous
13th May 2022
Friday 4:37 pm
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Because that posh extra virgin olive oil is unfiltered.
>> No. 451430 Anonymous
13th May 2022
Friday 4:45 pm
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No, something like 80% of olive oil is fake. It's just weird to see them admitting to knowingly selling it.
>> No. 451431 Anonymous
13th May 2022
Friday 5:11 pm
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No, he's right. Unfiltered olive oil goes cloudy, filtered olive oil doesn't. There is a great deal of fraud in the olive oil trade, but that's mainly the adulteration of olive oil with cheaper vegetable oils or the labelling of refined olive oil or pomace oil as EVOO. None of these practices would cause oil to turn cloudy.
>> No. 451432 Anonymous
13th May 2022
Friday 5:50 pm
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I think the implication was that the non-cloudy oils were the fakes.
>> No. 451433 Anonymous
13th May 2022
Friday 5:50 pm
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This is embarrassing to ask. I am soon to be alone on a first class JAL Airlines flight. I'm deeply terrified of flying and any drug I've tried so far does nothing. Do you think I could let them know in advance for some kind of help or heads-up? It is a ludicrously expensive flight and they must cater to nutters all the time? I don't really know what they can do though. I just don't want to ask and have them take the piss.
>> No. 451434 Anonymous
13th May 2022
Friday 6:28 pm
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My Chemical Romance dropped a new song last night.
>> No. 451435 Anonymous
13th May 2022
Friday 6:45 pm
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I've been on JAL First Class - all the other international businessmen had sketchy manga porn to read, so maybe ask for that?
>> No. 451438 Anonymous
13th May 2022
Friday 8:33 pm
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I don't know about JAL specifically, but it's very common for passengers to tell an airline they're an nervous flyer in advance. For us, we ask you what you'd prefer to happen - be boarded first or last, or just normally. Most airlines encourage you to pop into the flight deck and talk to the pilots, that tends to reassure people quite a lot. It also means the cabin crew are aware and can check on you/support you as needed. You won't be the first or the last person to have this issue, we're all pretty good at handling it. Usually all it takes is a reassurance that we're all professionals who take the job seriously, which is genuinely true (unless it's Ryanair)

Anecdotally, I have found that passengers who have notified us in advance that they're a nervous flyer, will always end up flying. Those that don't, will often end up offloading themselves. Whether that extra level of foresight is just indicative of a person who will more easily deal with their fear, or if it's because us knowing the situation allows us to guide you through it better, I couldn't say, but it definitely seems to help. plus if we know, we can keep your hold baggage on standby in case you shit yourself and don't fly

If British airlines don't take the piss, I can't imagine for the life of me a Japanese one would.
>> No. 451439 Anonymous
13th May 2022
Friday 8:37 pm
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Also, don't be embarrassed. It's pretty logical to be scared of flying, everything about it seems like it shouldn't be a thing we should be able to do. I'm sure I won't be the first person to ever tell you how it's statistically safer than pretty much anything else involving motorised transport, but I appreciate fully that this does nothing to reassure your gut feelings about the whole affair. It's definitely something the industry is used to, and understands.
>> No. 451440 Anonymous
13th May 2022
Friday 8:50 pm
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>Those that don't, will often end up offloading themselves.
Ewwww. Do you have to clean it up afterwards?
>> No. 451441 Anonymous
13th May 2022
Friday 8:53 pm
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What drugs have you tried?
>> No. 451446 Anonymous
14th May 2022
Saturday 12:22 am
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>>451438 is spot on. Also, you're travelling first class. The crew know it's ludicrously expensive, and so you're the last passenger they'd want to piss off. Given Japanese business culture, they are absolutely not going to take the piss.
>> No. 451447 Anonymous
14th May 2022
Saturday 1:07 am
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Thanks both. I'll definitely mention it. It just feels incredibly awkward to be a grown man essentially saying "I am afraid of this, to you, incredibly mundane activity", but I'll have to get over that. The last time I had a 12 hour flight I spent near enough every minute in a constant state of fear, I'm sure I aged my heart by a decade. (Incidentally had the best ciggy of my life after landing. The pure bliss/relief of thinking 'I'm finally through it/I'm not dead', combined with the nicotine rush).

I've tried the something-pams. They did nothing for me but make me feel a bit slow. I have panic attacks semi-regularly as is, and I don't think they helped in that regard. Alcohol impacts me strangely on flights, so I don't drink it in the lounge or the plane.

Right now I'm doing some research into JAL safety records etc. which is just not a good rabbit hole to be going down I know, but I'm trying to convince myself they have particularly good pilots or some bullshit.
>> No. 451448 Anonymous
14th May 2022
Saturday 1:13 am
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Have a good time in the lounge area (if you don't know how to access it, I'm never sure either).
>> No. 451512 Anonymous
16th May 2022
Monday 11:13 am
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Strawberries are flowering now. I started out with four or five plants from the local garden centre five years ago, and now there are over 50. They tend to propagate profusely, as every plant grows about two or three runners every year after fruiting.

I put them all in a new bed two weeks ago. There should be enough strawberries for a nice big strawberry pie at some point this season.
>> No. 451513 Anonymous
16th May 2022
Monday 11:26 am
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Ordered some shoes on Sunday afternoon, didn't bother with the next day delivery because another tenner on a £50 item seemed too much, but they arrived just moment ago anyway. Neat. They do sort of look like those shoes short celebrity lads wear because they're embarrassed.

I think I need half a size up ffs.
>> No. 451518 Anonymous
16th May 2022
Monday 3:35 pm
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It's now officially too hot. Half my Mikado sticks were stuck together into a giant multi-Mikado of absurd proportions.
>> No. 451519 Anonymous
16th May 2022
Monday 7:26 pm
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My daughter's just said those words I love to hear, "I can feel worms up my bum". Fuck sake.
>> No. 451520 Anonymous
16th May 2022
Monday 7:27 pm
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>"I can feel worms up my bum".
Better than feeling glitter up the shitter.
>> No. 451521 Anonymous
16th May 2022
Monday 7:55 pm
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An exploding sheep should take care of that in no time.
>> No. 451522 Anonymous
16th May 2022
Monday 8:27 pm
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It was raining really hard this morning, and I cycle to work, so I had to wear my horrible plastic trousers. This meant I couldn't put anything in my pockets as usual, and had to put my wallet and keys and so on in my bike bags instead. In turn, this resulted in me leaving my phone at home, because I keep it somewhere else from my other pocket possessions. And having no phone all day meant I learnt something very awful about myself, and how I have become one of those people who is actually very dependent on checking their phone every few minutes when they are bored.

I wish it was too hot here and hadn't rained this morning.
>> No. 451523 Anonymous
16th May 2022
Monday 9:38 pm
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This gay Earth.gif
I second it being a little bit too hot now. I'm certainly not looking forward to the next 5 months of utter bullshit from my shitty 3rd floor London flat.

Get some proper chocolate. Weeb.
>> No. 451524 Anonymous
16th May 2022
Monday 10:12 pm
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I wish it had been warm here, I was meant to go on a Big Walk but it was thundering earlier on. Maybe tomorrow or Thursday. Got a date Wednesday by the looks.

Knowing my luck it'll piss down all week then be roasting just in time for the weekend when I'm back at work.
>> No. 451525 Anonymous
16th May 2022
Monday 11:22 pm
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Yanklad here, it just hit 40 degrees here and will stay that hot until October. My ginger skin is precious cargo.
>> No. 451526 Anonymous
16th May 2022
Monday 11:41 pm
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I want this authentic 1940s flight suit but I can't afford £3500. Why didn't anyone tell me there would be flight suits? I would have worked harder if they'd told me that.

That was this morning, by the afternoon I was right I think. Get a backpack, or a flight suit if you've got the money.

Mikado's the healthy option for the manchild who can't walk past a supermarket without buying at least two snacks and a chilled coffee.

Bring back the handheld parasol or whatever it's called. It'll be all the rage anyway once the climate crisis bites. Alright, I'm breaking canon replying to three people.
>> No. 451529 Anonymous
17th May 2022
Tuesday 10:59 am
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>I want this authentic 1940s flight suit but I can't afford £3500. Why didn't anyone tell me there would be flight suits?

what on Earth do you plan to do with that.
>> No. 451533 Anonymous
17th May 2022
Tuesday 11:46 am
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Put his Citizen pilot's watch around his cock and wank off.
>> No. 451535 Anonymous
17th May 2022
Tuesday 12:24 pm
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Fair enough.

Once again, I was missing the obvious.
>> No. 451536 Anonymous
17th May 2022
Tuesday 12:26 pm
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Somebody's knocking at my door, somebody's ringing my bell.
>> No. 451537 Anonymous
17th May 2022
Tuesday 12:31 pm
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Funny you should say that, when I was a bit younger I used to have a watch with a leather strap, and once I had the idea of using it as a makeshift cock ring. I noticed, however, that it fastened snugly round my cock at the same notch I fastened it around my wrist.

Does that mean I've got a really thick cock, or really skinny wrists? Or is it normal, like how your foot is always the same length as your forearm?
>> No. 451538 Anonymous
17th May 2022
Tuesday 1:12 pm
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Pair it with some quality boots and wear it out on cold days. It's call fashion, babe. If savingslad has given up his delusions of home ownership it's available here:https://www.rokit.co.uk/collections/mens-vintage-clothing/products/stunning-1940s-vintage-air-associates-s-12-alpaca-lined-leather-flying-suit

Unless you were completely emaciated at that time I think I've got some good news for you.
>> No. 451542 Anonymous
17th May 2022
Tuesday 2:06 pm
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>Does that mean I've got a really thick cock, or really skinny wrists?

Going by what some lasses have told me, my erect knob is sort of above average in girth compared to other lads. And one of my more skinny exes used to joke that it was about the size of her wrist, which wasn't completely untrue.

So yeah, I guess if you have a thick knob and girls' wrists, then you should be fine.
>> No. 451582 Anonymous
18th May 2022
Wednesday 12:09 pm
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I have been wanking it relentlessly to this fat bird.

>> No. 451583 Anonymous
18th May 2022
Wednesday 12:20 pm
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Stick to the heifer thread on /x/.
>> No. 451585 Anonymous
18th May 2022
Wednesday 1:25 pm
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I want to say that I'd ruin that, but I don't think I'm man enough.
>> No. 451586 Anonymous
18th May 2022
Wednesday 1:44 pm
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I've received a letter from my dentist to say they're now doing routine appointments again.
>> No. 451587 Anonymous
18th May 2022
Wednesday 2:31 pm
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Someone is inside my computer ffs.
>> No. 451588 Anonymous
18th May 2022
Wednesday 2:31 pm
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Oh lord.
>> No. 451589 Anonymous
18th May 2022
Wednesday 3:26 pm
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What are they doing?
>> No. 451590 Anonymous
18th May 2022
Wednesday 5:36 pm
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How did they fit?
>> No. 451591 Anonymous
18th May 2022
Wednesday 6:31 pm
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I keep seeing shite online about generations, millenials, 'zoomers', etc. Is this a weird American thing? I've never seen anyone define themselves by their generation in real life, or pretend there is a "generational war".
>> No. 451592 Anonymous
18th May 2022
Wednesday 6:58 pm
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Surely you have seen people be outraged about the crimes of the baby boomers. I will admit it's very odd to see Generation Z describe themselves as "zoomers" when I am convinced that was meant to be a derogatory term, but the generational war is the new class war.
>> No. 451593 Anonymous
18th May 2022
Wednesday 9:39 pm
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Fuck, tomorrow I have literally no excuse not to get stuff done. This horrible, I hate doing stuff, it's so stressful it hurts me, physically. Maybe I should rewatch The X-Files instead.
>> No. 451594 Anonymous
18th May 2022
Wednesday 9:39 pm
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Ironically, your obliviousness to this stuff is itself a millennial trope.
>> No. 451595 Anonymous
18th May 2022
Wednesday 10:46 pm
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Is there a name for when audio sounds all crap coming out of cheap speakers or headphones? Specifically that, not just adjectives to describe it.
>> No. 451596 Anonymous
18th May 2022
Wednesday 10:56 pm
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Zoomers are fucking weird though, everything is double reverse unironic ironic irony for them. Growing up on the internet has done a number on them.

At least my generation grew up online, but knew you sort of had to pretend you didn't. Being into weird terminally online junk culture was something you didn't really admit to publicly, but now it's just presumed. It's really strange too, how because of this the zoomers at work think I'm some sort of normie, they don't realise I'm one of the people who was there at ground zero, I participated in the very genesis of all the daft memes and shit they take for granted. One of them was shocked I know what hentai is.

Anyway as far as I know the "zoomer" thing started in conjunction with the "30 year old boomer" meme, because now that millennial aren't the youngest generation, we're actually the boomers. It's kind of true, in a funny sort of way. We don't like all the daft newfangled tiktok cringe and whatever they're into.

I like the idea of defining generation by your big youth trends, though. I was the pokemon cards and Harry Potter generation.
>> No. 451597 Anonymous
18th May 2022
Wednesday 11:06 pm
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>Anyway as far as I know the "zoomer" thing started in conjunction with the "30 year old boomer" meme
I think it came in with doomers and gloomers and other -oomers. I mean, obviously it must have, but lots of people started inventing new -oomer demographics to describe themselves and their opinions.
>> No. 451598 Anonymous
19th May 2022
Thursday 1:01 am
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Crap audio. We have a whole vocabulary of technical jargon for describing various kinds of crapness, because - to paraphrase Tolstoy - all good audio sounds alike, but all crap audio is crap in its own way.

A lay person might use a term like "tinny", "muffled" or "harsh", but that isn't particularly useful to an audio engineer. We might describe your phone's speaker as being band-limited with a steep rolloff at 300Hz and high THD, or a cheap car subwoofer as being under-damped with cabinet resonances and port compression.


If you bought your house for £2.71, you're a boomer. If you remember MSN Messenger and avoid opening letters from the Student Loans Company, you're a millennial. If you've never actually experienced hope so don't suffer from its absence, you're a zoomer.
>> No. 451599 Anonymous
19th May 2022
Thursday 3:43 am
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>Zoomers are fucking weird though, everything is double reverse unironic ironic irony for them
I think it might just appear that way to us because we grew up with a post-modernism zeitgest, where it was very uncool to be openly trying or caring about just about anything. From what I've heard from friends who are teachers and my missus who is a child therapist, Gen Z are just generally extremely chilled out. Apparently there's no bullying in schools nowadays, bullies are social pariahs, and everyone just sort of gets along with everyone. Then that's developed a culture where it's okay/encouraged to be passionate about something, and all the other soft cunt teenagers are genuinely supportive about it. Obviously, all of this come stem from ingrained nihilism, as >>451598 says.

There's a fun counter-effect to what you're saying about Gen Z having a more blurred line between their real-life and online personas. There's not that many niche fashion trends any more, nor the social hubs associated with them. You don't catch a big bunch of teenagers dressed the same knocking about city centres any more, because nowadays they express their niche interests by curating their online image rather than begging their mam for a pair of Vans so the other alternative kids would notice them.
>> No. 451600 Anonymous
19th May 2022
Thursday 4:13 am
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>Apparently there's no bullying in schools nowadays, bullies are social pariahs, and everyone just sort of gets along with everyone

Traditional bullying definitely still exists, but secondary school kids are a lot more switched on about social issues these days so it's very easy to become a pariah if you don't blindly conform to the hivemind. It's fanaticism and there's a lot of pressure not to make a misstep.
>> No. 451601 Anonymous
19th May 2022
Thursday 4:32 am
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Nah m8. You might get overt wokery in posh schools down in That London, but most schoolkids don't give a shit. The big difference is that this generation have grown up with a very insecure job market, a hideous lack of social mobility and the panopticon of social media.

They're all basically swots, because they live in a state of constant fear - not fear of some woke mob, but of the increasingly precarious tightrope they have to walk to stand any real chance of a decent life. They know that housing is unaffordable, they know that there aren't enough decent jobs to go around, they know that grades are going up every year, they know that the economy and the climate are fucked, they know that anything they do or say could be recorded on the internet forever.

They're remarkably cheerful about it all, because they just don't know any different. The current crop of Year 7s have lived their entire lives under an austerity government. The only world they've ever known is one in which everything gets incrementally worse with every passing year. The girls might sometimes bully each other online, the lads might have the odd scrap, but on the whole they're remarkably nice to each other. I suspect this is partly due to the fear of zero-tolerance policies and the eagerness of schools to unofficially exclude pupils, partly due to a greater awareness of mental health and more progressive attitudes, but also partly due to a kind of siege mentality. You just don't have the energy for petty infighting when you're using all your strength just to tread water.
>> No. 451602 Anonymous
19th May 2022
Thursday 5:39 am
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I've just ordered my first presents for this Christmas.
>> No. 451603 Anonymous
19th May 2022
Thursday 10:48 am
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Not him but my friends mum has worked in a pretty rough school in Cardiff for 20 odd years and she has said the exact same thing. Calling someone a fag or the like will have people beat _you_ up. Of course this is a big generalisation but its a behavioural change that has been noted.
>> No. 451604 Anonymous
19th May 2022
Thursday 10:59 am
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The Tory Minister for Policing is quite annoyed that the chief inspector of constabulary has suggested police use their discretion when it comes to dealing with people shoplifting food.
>> No. 451606 Anonymous
19th May 2022
Thursday 11:37 pm
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When did they stop making Family Guy? Have they stopped making Family Guy? It's just occurred to me I haven't heard anyone talk about Family Guy for years. People still mention South Park occasionally, and that's still being made, but nobody talks about The Simpsons and that's still being made too. Family Guy, meanwhile, has just faded from the public consciousness completely.
>> No. 451607 Anonymous
20th May 2022
Friday 12:08 am
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They're still making Family Guy, American Dad just got renewed for another two seasons and Bob's Burgers will soon start season 13, taking it past the 250th episode.
>> No. 451608 Anonymous
20th May 2022
Friday 1:06 am
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I haven't watched Family Guy in years, probably not since it left BBC Three. It's the kind of thing you watch because it's late at night and you fancy switching your brain off for a while, rather than something you'd actually go out of your way to view, although I imagine fewer people are doing that these days thanks to streaming.

I think what elevates South Park over The Simpsons and Family Guy is that it still manages to be funny. I caught The Simpsons yesterday, a repeat from Series 21 (2010), and it was a shitshow from start to finish.
>> No. 451615 Anonymous
20th May 2022
Friday 10:09 am
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>ey stop making Family Guy? Have they stopped making Family Guy? It's just occurred to me
Don't lie - you saw the same 'do you still watch family guy' animation clip that we all did, just too afraid to post it here lest you embarrass the club by referencing the other internet we all know about and pretend not to engage with.
>> No. 451622 Anonymous
20th May 2022
Friday 1:51 pm
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Family Guy is in a comfortable position because it just needs to tread water to maintain its life. It's formulaic, lightweight entertainment. It was never amazing, it just chugs along and presumably brings in viewers, but it has no ambition so there's nothing to talk about.

The Simpsons was once the biggest show on TV, and has been shit for half of its life span, so people see it and feel sad for how it went downhill.

South Park is very topical, so lends itself well to discussion as it can be quite cutting and controversial. I haven't actually watched a full episode of South Park in about 15 years, but I still hear about what's happening in it as it is notable in TV news.

Nobody talks about American Dad either, but it's my favourite of the modern day adult cartoons.
>> No. 451624 Anonymous
20th May 2022
Friday 2:11 pm
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Family Guy has had its ups and downs as well. From around series 15, it suffered from Seth MacFarlane stepping back as creative head to focus on other projects, and pretty much just phoning it in. The only real work he was doing on the show during that time was the voice overs for Peter and Brian and some supporting characters. And as a consequence, the show's quality took a complete nose dive. At some point, MacFarlane even greenlit a mid-season story arc to kill off Brian the Dog for a few episodes, a step that was more than controversial because MacFarlane has always said that of all the characters he does on the show, Brian's personality feels the closest to him. So in a symbolic way, it was going to be a goodbye from the show.

It didn't go down well with viewers, especially not the fact that they brought in a character replacement for Brian in the form of another dog, who somehow had an East Coast Italian American mobster accent. That move was panned almost universally by fans and critics, and as a consequence, they chose to bring back Brian.

I guess they took the fan outrage as a well received warning, because from then on, the show's quality has noticeably improved again. Series 16 was probably where it bottomed out, with some episodes just being an unwatchable mess.
>> No. 451625 Anonymous
20th May 2022
Friday 3:26 pm
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On the topic of Brian, as the show has gone on he's gone from mouth-of-the-creator straight guy with 'good' opinions, to hypocritical pretentious pseudointellectual liberal, with several episodes dedicated to what a piece of shit he is (generally Quagmire centric episodes). Not sure how much involvement MacFarlane has with that, but I appreciate them taking the piss and making the character actually funny.
>> No. 451627 Anonymous
20th May 2022
Friday 3:47 pm
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I guess it's an adept attempt at self irony, because that's just the kind of guy Seth MacFarlane is. Yes, he is a Liberal, as is Brian, with many bleeding-heart guilty white liberal middle class douchebag views and opinions, but he also knows that the Liberal agenda in the U.S. tends to be completely full of shit. And so he doesn't mind taking the piss out of himself.

I think if Family Guy sticks to its current formula, it has a good chance of aging much better than the Simpsons. I watched some of the recent Simpsons episodes a while ago, and it's sad to see what utter shite that show has become. They should have packed it in ten to fifteen years ago.
>> No. 451628 Anonymous
20th May 2022
Friday 3:50 pm
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I see Monkey pox appears to be starting to worry a few people.

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