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>> No. 450389 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 8:11 am
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New weekday thread: Zool edition.
Expand all images.
>> No. 450390 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 10:00 am
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In the before times I'd occasionally walk home from work, which Google Maps says is 3.1 miles, and have no trouble with it. I've just had to drop my car off roughly halfway across this route and walk back. Admittedly it was always the hardest half of the walk home from work as it's mostly uphill, but I'm absolutely fucked now.
>> No. 450391 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 10:05 am
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Do you remember that PC game that installed a fake virus to your system? In game you'd be flying around a la Astroids fighting icon images of all the programs you had installed. As you progressed your desktop icons would be gradually changed to in-game sprites, as if the game was leaking into the rest of your computer.
It was really quite cool, but your screen was become littered with debris until you completed the game.

Zool sort of reminded me of that.
>> No. 450392 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 10:25 am
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I mainly remember it being a giant advert for Chupa Chups.
>> No. 450394 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 12:08 pm
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I was shocked to learn recently that Zool is held in very high regards in retro gaming circles. I always assumed it was just a generic cartoony platformer, that also happens to shill lollies. Maybe I ought to revisit it.
>> No. 450397 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 12:33 pm
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Zool was incredibly hyped up before it was launched, billed as Amiga's rival to Sonic the Hedgehog. The gameplay wasn't on the same level as Sonic, but you'd expect that when you're comparing the resources of Sega against a few blokes from Sheffield.
>> No. 450398 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 1:21 pm
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I always hated Sonic because I never understood if I was supposed to be going fast or KOing enemies and gathering gold rings. The resolution was too low to do both effectively, at least for me anyway, maybe I needed to Get Good™.
>> No. 450399 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 1:29 pm
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Zool actually got a remastered version recently.

>> No. 450402 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 6:13 pm
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My daughter went to a birthday party at the weekend where only six kids from her school turned up. She's come home today with a thank you card from the birthday girl, a slice of cake and some chocolates. I bet that's absolutely crushing as a parent.
>> No. 450403 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 6:22 pm
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Six is just about okay, isn't it? I don't have kids, but I was kids once. If it's not a lot then I agree it must be horrendous, but I'd have been happy with six friends.
>> No. 450404 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 6:22 pm
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Woah, Peter Popular over here with his parties of more than six friends. Why don't you piss off back to Normandy with the rest of the normaloids, Norman? Wait, no, your name's Peter already, bollocks.
>> No. 450405 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 6:38 pm
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My daughter isn't actually in her class this year. There's about 45 kids in her year, which is split into an outright year one class and the older/smarter kids are in a year one/two class with the younger kids from year two. I think my daughter was invited because they didn't get enough people saying they'd attend from the birthday girl's class.

As far as I'm aware they booked the party venue for 10 kids and there were 7 in total including the birthday girl; 2 never bothered replying to the invite so her cousin and brother were drafted in at the last minute. The mum is really nice as well.

My sixth birthday was at McDonald's when they used to have the pirate party ship upstairs and all the boys from my class turned up and it was awesome.
>> No. 450406 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 7:15 pm
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HL emailed me today to call my portfolio 'a little risky' and linked me to a guide explaining the basics of what risk is. Cheeky cunts, my stock holdings are mostly defensive and all bluechip, my largest holding is KO which carries lower risk than the human race - no explanation was given for this abuse.

When you're in primary school everyone is mates and you have massive parties. I also went Maccies on my sixth and it was sick. Jamie Oliver can go marinade himself, my kids are getting a McDonalds party and if you didn't get one then I can only assume your mother didn't love you.

>There's about 45 kids in her year, which is split into an outright year one class and the older/smarter kids are in a year one/two class with the younger kids from year two

You fucking what. So they've just created two new year groups on different months? How do they manage the obvious population bulge at the start of the year from all the responsible parents?
>> No. 450407 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 7:31 pm
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My daughter is one of the older kids, so she's currently in the Year 1/2 class. Next year she'll be in an outright Year 2 class with the older/smarter half of the current Year 1 class, with the rest of the current Year 1 class forming next year's Year 1/2 class.

The year after that she'll be in the Year 3/4 class while the others will form an outright Year 3 class. It means there's ~15 kids she's constantly with and 15 kids she's with every other year.
>> No. 450409 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 9:09 pm
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I don't think they do Maccies birthday parties anymore lad.
>> No. 450414 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 9:51 pm
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McDonalds not only still do parties but they also trick autistic 9-year olds into working for them:
>> No. 450415 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 9:54 pm
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She's got a more impressive CV than I do at least.
>> No. 450418 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 10:35 pm
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Won a thousand quid on my first month of premium bonds, get in.
>> No. 450419 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 11:01 pm
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Ginsters Pasties for everyone.
>> No. 450420 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 11:51 pm
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Yet again, I have a substantial piece of work that I procrastinated on all day and which was already difficult to reach.

Now you just need to repeat this win every month for 833 years to be able to afford a comfortable retirement today. Easy.
>> No. 450428 Anonymous
5th April 2022
Tuesday 8:58 am
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I need a new toilet seat. What should I be looking out for? It needs to be sturdy.
>> No. 450431 Anonymous
5th April 2022
Tuesday 10:06 am
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>> No. 450435 Anonymous
5th April 2022
Tuesday 11:28 am
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What's the middle hole for?
>> No. 450436 Anonymous
5th April 2022
Tuesday 1:22 pm
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Bog roll?
>> No. 450437 Anonymous
5th April 2022
Tuesday 1:32 pm
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Can anyone recommend me a good single futon/sofa bed? A one you could actually use, not just one you throw in the spare room just in case. Really high quality, comfortable ones. I want to get some for our crew rooms at work.
>> No. 450438 Anonymous
5th April 2022
Tuesday 5:30 pm
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>My car is making funny noises after changing gear.

Here again. Took it to the garage and they confirmed the noise was from a bolt not being fastened properly when the clutch was replaced.

This is the third time I've had work done on my car, all different garages, and they've left something loose when they've finished with it.
>> No. 450439 Anonymous
5th April 2022
Tuesday 6:36 pm
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I know a guy who's always talking on Facebook about how clueless mechanics are. He's one of those slightly intelligent bullshit merchants who seems convinced that he knows more than anyone in the world because he worked out something fairly basic on his own, but the examples he gives of the shambolic service he has experienced certainly suggest that they really are often inept.
>> No. 450440 Anonymous
5th April 2022
Tuesday 6:47 pm
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I'm someone who is 'into' cars and have worked on my own for many years. I've taken cars in to real garages for work I couldn't do/didn't want to do, and honestly it does seem like there are more shite mechanics than good ones. I'm by no means an expert, but I do know how things should be done, and shortcuts, bodges, and downright unsafe work sadly seems to be quite common. There are surely a lot of excellent mechanics that genuinely are spot on and care and are reasonably priced, but these sorts of lads are the ones tucked away at the back of industrial estates, who don't advertise, who work alone or with one other lad, don't know what google is, so the only way you'll ever find them is word of mouth. So if you want to find a good mechanic, find someone who has a classic car that actually runs, and ask them who they use. Guarantee they're a good one.

The problem with this is, these boys will all be retired or dead in 20 years or so. Maybe all the young lads who spend their time now tuning Skylines just naturally grow into these hermit old men mechanics at some point, I don't really know the process.
>> No. 450441 Anonymous
5th April 2022
Tuesday 7:28 pm
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I'm lucky I live 5 minutes away from a VW group specialist. I trust them servicing my Skoda because they only work on those engines and part of their business is tuning. Prices are less than dealership, but still all genuine parts and they're registered to update the electronic service history.
>> No. 450442 Anonymous
5th April 2022
Tuesday 7:30 pm
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The mechanic my parents have used for as long as I can remember used to operate out of a nondescript industrial estate but now works out of a garage behind his house. I've moved so it's been almost ten years since I've used him, but I can't remember him having any signage or doing any marketing.

I've just looked him up on Facebook and half the pictures are of a Mk II Escort he was restoring.
>> No. 450447 Anonymous
5th April 2022
Tuesday 10:37 pm
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>This is the third time I've had work done on my car, all different garages, and they've left something loose when they've finished with it.

I had my brakes done once and when I came back to pick my car up, the mechanic was just in the process of putting it back down on the lift, and then told me to get in and back it out of the shop myself. But he forgot to pump the brakes after replacing the pads, and also didn't tell me to pump them, and so I unwittingly backed into another customer's almost brand new Golf GTI in the car park. Luckily, I only left some black rubber streaks on the Golf's front wing and there was no visible damage on my bumper, but there could have been loads more damage than that.
>> No. 450448 Anonymous
6th April 2022
Wednesday 12:50 am
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I think I'm on the way out.
>> No. 450449 Anonymous
6th April 2022
Wednesday 7:49 am
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Where are you going lad? Shop?
>> No. 450454 Anonymous
6th April 2022
Wednesday 5:39 pm
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Pick us up a Twix
>> No. 450456 Anonymous
6th April 2022
Wednesday 8:13 pm
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I've spent most of the last two days in bed. Yesterday it was justifiable cause I had a big day/night out on Monday so I was recovering, but today I just feel like I've wasted a day. But I felt so lethargic I just couldn't even move. Is this what being old is? Takes you two entire days to recover from a dozen or so beers and a few lines?

Anyway my original plans for the week have been totally scuppered by that, I'm back at work Friday and despite having arguably a very successful time getting wankered and acquiring some very decent sex, I'm feeling quite down. I might just have a trip up to the Asda and just buy a load of chocolate and snacks and spend the evening watching UFO videos or something, then spend tomorrow more productively, but I think it's sunk cost at this point.

I always do this when I have time off. I tell myself I'll use the time to work on hobbies and give myself some self care, but then I end up persuading myself that I'll feel like a lonely sad act if I don't spend at least some of the time socialising and what have you. But then after the fact I wish I would have just spent it locked in my room working on music nobody will ever hear instead.

Such is life I suppose.
>> No. 450457 Anonymous
6th April 2022
Wednesday 8:17 pm
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Have you tested for Covid?
>> No. 450458 Anonymous
6th April 2022
Wednesday 8:33 pm
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Fair point. It does feel a lot like that time I had parvo.

Are the tests still free at the chemists or what?
>> No. 450459 Anonymous
6th April 2022
Wednesday 9:53 pm
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How long do you reckon a dentists anaesthetic will last? Appointment will be over by 1500, I'll have a filling put in. I was going to have a date in the afternoon/evening but this may be silly unless she has a thing for Slavoj Žižek.
>> No. 450460 Anonymous
6th April 2022
Wednesday 10:03 pm
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3 hours.
>> No. 450461 Anonymous
6th April 2022
Wednesday 10:52 pm
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Lower jaw anaesthetics can last up to five hours. Upper jaw is usually shorter, because you can numb individual teeth with less of the anaesthetic.
>> No. 450462 Anonymous
6th April 2022
Wednesday 10:54 pm
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How did Drake get away with blatantly ripping off Sheffield Wednesday for his clothing brand's logo?

His appreciation for British streetwear and culture is no secret, and he's basically solely responsible for taking that weird modern amalgamation of football hooligan and hip hop aesthetic we associate with roadmen over to the US. Stone Island sales in the US skyrocketed after he declared it his favourite clothing brand, and that's literally a brand that was invented by Italians for English football hooligans because a different brand discontinued a jacket popular with the rowdy lads.

As someone with a casual interest in design, however, the name is very cute. OVO with the full logo being an owl, then the typemark just makes a little owl face, sort of like a visual onomatopoeia.

Still, whenever I see a tee shirt or something I think "up the Owls fuck the Blades we're all Wednesday aren't we", and then realise the person wearing it isn't even Wednesday.
>> No. 450463 Anonymous
6th April 2022
Wednesday 10:59 pm
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To make this shit post even shitter, I dropped my phone into the toilet after I hit send. I got what I deserved.
>> No. 450464 Anonymous
6th April 2022
Wednesday 11:21 pm
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I always think of the BBC Micro rather than Sheffield Wednesday.
>> No. 450465 Anonymous
6th April 2022
Wednesday 11:34 pm
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There's nowt more tragic than the Wednesday/United rivalry. They're both shit and only Sheffieldians care.

Funny city like that is Sheff. Very proud of itself, even though nobody has ever heard of it. You get people wearing Def Lepard shirts as if they weren't one of the worst bands ever to have existed, and as if Artic Monkeys aren't a million times more relevant and worthy of caring about (even if they're also shit), and they're all dead bumsore that they're not Leeds.

Very nice place these days, don't get me wrong. There's much worse places you could live than Sheffield. But that has always stood out about it to me.
>> No. 450467 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 1:16 am
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I'll admit I've never been to Sheffield, but they have the Snooker World Championship and The Full Monty is set there, so I'm sure it's the absolute jewel in the crown of South Yorkshire. I'd rather visit Sheffield than Doncaster, Barnsley, Rotherham, or anywhere in Derbyshire. Also, Leeds wishes it was Manchester, Manchester wishes it was London, and London wishes it was New York, so really Sheffield is only four embarrassing delusions away from somewhere that's actually worth visiting.
>> No. 450468 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 9:06 am
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I think I'm going to breakup with my girlfriend. She's done very well career wise despite not having burnished academic credentials. She picked a job that is in demand and has worked through and as a result is getting very high salaries (100k +)

Happy for her, and have supported her all the way. I am still working out what I'd like to be for my life and have done a bit of chopping and changing.

She routinely says annoying shit like 'don't know if I should take this job as it only pays 80k plus bonuses' and stuff like that and I find it a bit obnoxious and now everything revolves around this very important, but the only facet of her life she is intersted in now.

I find it kind of demoralising because it shits over what I'm doing and also implies that I'm not doing very well (think 50k salary).

Having a good career isn't a personality trait and it's just grating on me. I'm not envious I don't think because otherwise I'd just stay with her and ride out her good salary, I just don't want to spend my life with somebody that has nothing to talk about but their next pay bracket.

Am I being sour grapes? I just find it all quite obnoxious at the minute.
>> No. 450469 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 10:19 am
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>Am I being sour grapes?

Yes, she's enjoying some success in her life for a change, has found something she's good at and is quite naturally sharing her life with you. I know it's hard but why not try being happy for her and accept that in any relationship you're hearing about 40 hours a week of tedium you don't care about.

I'd class myself as doing well and with an exciting career but I'm only on 40k
>> No. 450470 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 10:45 am
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I enjoy hearing about it and I've enjoyed watching her success, what I don't enjoy is her implying that anything not up to her very high earning standard is somehow shit, knowing full well that that includes me.
>> No. 450471 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 11:01 am
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>what I don't enjoy is her implying that anything not up to her very high earning standard is somehow shit, knowing full well that that includes me.

Can you give some examples of this?
>> No. 450472 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 11:25 am
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Like what I said in my OP really but I can give pretty much verbatim 'I don't know if I should take this job earning 80k, it's not a very good salary and it only gives bonuses and stock options and even they get taxed, pretty poor salary really'.

It's all relative but I wouldn't take my 50k and tell my friend working in a shop on minimum wage it's a shit salary and I am annoyed by it.

Similarly judgey comments about friends doing different things to her, how they're wasting their life etc because they're travelling or whatever as if the only way to win at life is to be maxxing your salary.
>> No. 450474 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 11:27 am
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You should have thought about that before choosing mediocrity.

Or did it choose you?
>> No. 450475 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 11:43 am
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Great bait, but I haven't chose anything. I'm trying to try a few career paths so I can decide which one to stomach for the next however long.

I'm in my 20s so plenty of time to grow into something.
>> No. 450476 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 11:57 am
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Yeah, whatever you must tell yourself to ease that inferiority complex. You're either safe in the knowledge you can earn similar money soon and the delay was entirely your choice or you complain about how her self-evaluation demeans your worth and achievements. Doing both as you've just done is just nonsense.
>> No. 450477 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 12:05 pm
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Ok, m8.
>> No. 450478 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 12:10 pm
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Sounds like you're taking this personally when really you need to mentally cut the wages in half to translate. It's relative, she's going to look at 80k differently because she's in a different position to you and there's nothing wrong with trying to fuck The Man by getting the best possible deal.

If you still get pissed off then raise the point about work/life balance and how much that 20k is actually worth after tax to see if she might be able to negotiate Fridays off (where she can clean the house, do the ironing and other woman-stuff). Put things in that perspective of looking at how much time/effort is worth.

>Similarly judgey comments about friends doing different things to her, how they're wasting their life etc because they're travelling or whatever as if the only way to win at life is to be maxxing your salary.

It depends on how old you are and realistically how you're coping with the inevitability of it all being quite meaningless. Despite popular belief, money is quite important and I say that as someone who largely gave it up for a life of public service. You're going to get old eventually.

Is she starting to nest? Have you noticed her doing doing some pelvic lifts and handstands after sex? do you need to start thinking about taking magnesium and drinking pineapple juice to maximise your load? Do I have an impregnation fetish and need to find out if there's a decent kink community for it?
>> No. 450480 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 12:48 pm
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It sounds like you're struggling to cope with the fact that the power dynamics in the relationship has changed.

You've gone from being the breadwinner and the supportive one to finding yourself eclipsed by her earnings potential whilst you're still figuring out what you want to do in life. The roles have reversed and you find yourself feeling inadequate.
>> No. 450482 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 1:47 pm
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Or it's just annoying when someone bleats on about their money all the time.
>> No. 450483 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 1:50 pm
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Men who support women to foster some kind of paternalistic fantasy and not through a genuine desire to see someone grow as much as possible are inherently abusive.
>> No. 450484 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 2:14 pm
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Oh look, it's the Britfa Simping Hour again is it? Where you all get your little pork sausages going over a bird you've never met, instead of giving your good ladm9 the benefit of the doubt? You set of fannies.


In that case it depends, is she being equally as supportive in fostering him to develop, like he did for her during all those years she was a layabout parasite grad student living on his money? Presumably, at least.

Just anecdotally, I've seen a few of my mates in similar positions, and it seems very much the case that women are big fat hypocrites as far as money and status is concerned. A man is capable of treating his partner like an equal regardless of earnings, even if it is in a bit of a patronising "chivalrous" way; but when the shoe is on the other foot, women can turn absolutely reptilian about it.

It's often tied into a peer pressure sort of thing- One of my mates found himself in a relationship with a woman way above his pay grade, she was a high-powered accountant or lawyer or something, and he was basically a porter at the time. Couldn't have more of a disparity in pay. And the thing is, they got on fantastically. They were an amazing couple on a personal level- But you could tell, you could read her unease when it was her mates we were around. You know, her posh, rich, upper-middle class mates, around the dinner table casually ordering the really expensive wines and whatnot; she felt ashamed that her fella only made 20k a year.

It wasn't even really about the money, it was more a sort of like... She'd broken a taboo, like they'd found a video of her getting fucked by a dog or something. She could do better, she was cheapening herself.

... Anyway. The thing is that the single-minded pursuit of wealth is often an indicator of shallowness. It's not an attractive trait. It's nice if someone enjoys their work and it's great if they can help you both afford a decent quality of life, but it's not the only thing in life, and I can sympathise. I'd get bloody annoyed if money was all my missus talked about.
>> No. 450485 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 2:18 pm
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There's a lot of shit psychoanalysis going on here. If she's spending all day banging on bragging about her massive wad it's going to be a bit annoying. Do a gender swap and imaging the post was about a male friend of his bragging about his pay instead.

If she's also chatting shit devaluing her friends and looking down on people for not making as much as her, it's going to be even more annoying, and OP would be justified in also feeling a bit insecure.

>> No. 450486 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 2:19 pm
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>when the shoe is on the other foot, women can turn absolutely reptilian about it.

My former boss had a bit of a domestic over the phone with her boyfriend in the middle of the office. I can't even remember what she said, but it was very emasculating.

She was definitely unhinged, that one. The people working on the floor below knew if she was in a bad mood because they'd hear her stamping her boots as she walked.
>> No. 450487 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 2:49 pm
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Thanks for some of the more sensible lads in here giving a balanced perspective. Some absolutely crazy made up assumptions being applied or inferred from one post.

A few things - I'm not insecure about my salary. 50K is decent at my age (mid-late 20s) regardless and I am happy it provides me with enough. Considering I've done several different types of jobs since graduating I'm pretty happy all things considered and it means I don't wake up at 40 wondering 'what if', at least when it comes to careers.

Me and my girlfriend met on similar salaries, she stuck with her path, on the option of moving up on mine I had a wobble and said 'is this really me? Is this what I was made for or should I dip my toes in what I think might be my passion and see whilst I've no mortgage and kids and my biggest worry is paying rent?'. I could have taken that road but I chose not to, and could, in theory, go back.

I of course am happy for her success. In fact she's had MANY a wobble, and as with most success once one brick was in place, which was the hardest, the rest fell in relatively quickly. I am delighted she's happy and she is on the whole a wonderful supportive person who I genuinely think wants the best for me. Also you know when you really care about somebody because you are happy they are happy and getting what you think they deserve.

Ironically her ex earned a good whack but always told her she was meant for lesser things, so I've made a point about supporting her.

My main thing was I just thought it was a bit inconsiderate. I actually raised it with her after my teary here and she said 'yeah sorry, that is quite inconsiderate' because naturally if you're trying your best and somebody is shitting all over what they've got when their best is much better, it obviously is a bit difficult on midweek morning.

I just didn't want to raise it because I was scared of looking jealous/envious because I want her to succeed as much as possible, but preferably without this becoming the dominant thing behind everything. I noticed a very quick change to 'I earn this and these people are not as good as me' and that's what I was concerned about developing.

Sorry to derail the midweek thread. On another note, it's really windy.
>> No. 450488 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 3:14 pm
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My building is covered in scaffolding for roofing work that's been going on for about 6 months longer than it was supposed to. Half the plastic sheeting has come loose and is flapping about in the wind, and the scaffolders themselves always seem like they're half-drunk and don't give a fuck. I'll probably be killed by a falling steel pole in the next few days.
>> No. 450489 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 3:23 pm
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Well I just read a thread on rudgwick about "orgasm inequality" and good grief. There really is no end to how myopic women can be.

I'm quite sure the majority of men are terrible in bed, but on the flipside of the coin, the amount of effort it takes to please a man is so much lower it hardly bears mentioning. most lasses are also shite in bed, it's just that you can still get a bloke to spaff with the barest minimum of effort, so it's not a gender disparity, it's just that women have been coasting through on easy mode all this time.

I'm absolutely not wrong here, I will die on this hill.
>> No. 450490 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 3:31 pm
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I have that death-grip masturbation dick. I have never ejaculated into a woman. It's possible that's why they never stick around and I've only had sex a handful of times in my life. They read your post and assume it's something wrong with them. Anyway, I think it would be great if we could acknowledge that nutting with another person in the room, when you're not used to that, can sometimes be very difficult indeed, while still accepting that yes, some women can say perversely selfish things on a forum designed specifically for that purpose.
>> No. 450491 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 3:33 pm
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Mate, you seriously need to stop going out of your way to read things that will rile you up. You're becoming no different than a Daily Mail reader.
>> No. 450492 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 4:07 pm
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Why are you reading rudgwicksteamshow.co.uk? It's an absolute shit-tip and like twitter, facebook and 4chan, a sign of how bad the modern centralised internet community is.

I do all the work to be honest and that's how I like it.

I'm not convinced the death-grip thing is real, certainly not from my experience as a compulsive wanker. You might want to look into this.
>> No. 450496 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 6:20 pm
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I've tried; I don't think there is any proper research whatsoever into it. My initial post did suggest it's more of a social anxiety thing, but I don't know how to test this theory.
>> No. 450498 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 6:24 pm
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I'll take credit for normalising rudgwicksteamshow.co.uk venting on here. I'm only partially sorry, it's nice to have some fellow crabs in my bucket.

I can kind of see it, but yeah my lifetime of indulgence hasn't ruined my penis. The drugs and alcohol have had a much bigger impact, but I can still get a ferocious rod if she's saying the right things.
>> No. 450500 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 6:31 pm
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I often find it difficult to cum if I'm pissed/on drugs, and if the girl is too wet and slippery. Sometimes I find it really difficult to tell if they're exasperated or disappointed and want me to finish, so their vagina can have a rest from being relentlessly bagged out, or if they're dead chuffed to have a bloke who can jackhammer them for hours.

Hard to tell, it really doesn't help that women only make one type of noise that doubles up for laughing, crying, cumming and being in severe pain.
>> No. 450501 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 6:33 pm
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SSRIs are very effective at treating social anxiety, but they also make it harder to cum. Oh, the terrible irony.
>> No. 450503 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 9:17 pm
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I was with a lass briefly who had studied abroad in Japan for a year or two, and was a bit of a weeb princess. Whenever we'd have sex she would make the most outrageous hentai noises, and it was an instant stiffykiller for me. It's the only time I've ever struggled to keep hard, and she was gorgeous with comedically massive melons.

I'm getting déjà vu typing this, I think the lad in the embarrassing stories thread was right and we're all going senile.
>> No. 450504 Anonymous
7th April 2022
Thursday 11:16 pm
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Why does everything feel like it has no authenticity these days? I know that sounds a bit teenlad but its all so dull. It feels like the suits got their hands onto everything and its the internet that got them there. I don't know. I'm drunk and I've been watching old television and news bits again.
>> No. 450505 Anonymous
8th April 2022
Friday 12:14 am
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You know what's weird? In the 1990s, New Age music was massive. People loved Enigma, and Era, and Karl Jenkins, and all that hippie shit. It was in the charts, and it was a fully recognised genre that got played on the radio and everything. I can't imagine anything like that ever happening again, because They™ won't let it. It would make the music industry too unpredictable to let so many people behave so inexplicably all at the same time.

I know there was that craze for sea shanties a year or two ago, but it just wasn't the same. It wasn't a movement; it was one TikTok video and some coattail-riding.
>> No. 450506 Anonymous
8th April 2022
Friday 1:02 am
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Oh my God, there’s something really dark going on with this comedy-drama I’m watching. I’m going to cry, fuck sake.
>> No. 450508 Anonymous
8th April 2022
Friday 5:07 am
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The internet has given us untrammelled access to everything ever, but in doing so it has mixed everything into a contextless beige paste of postmodernity. Whatever the cool kids in Berlin are wearing will be in every branch of Zara and H&M within a couple of months. A watered-down version of whatever the cool DJs are playing will be the soundtrack to next month's bank adverts.

It's impossible for distinctive scenes and subcultures to evolve, because that requires a distinctive niche; the internet has created the exact opposite of the Galapagos Islands. Everything is cross-pollinated with everything else, without regard for time or place.

Old records used to come in old sleeves with old pictures of old people wearing old clothes. Those record sleeves bore the patina of age, the music was heard through the crackle and hiss of a dusty groove. Getting an old record required rummaging through the crates at a second-hand shop or raiding the collection of an older sibling or a cool uncle. Every step in the journey between artist and listener carried meaning that anchored that work in a broader cultural context. Today, all music comes through the same streaming pipe, digitally remastered and served up by an algorithm.

We are already living in a weird sci-fi future, we just didn't notice. I might be sitting at a bus stop at the end of my street, but I'm staring at a shiny oblong that is seamlessly connected to several billion other shiny oblongs. We all carry these strange little portals to an alternate reality; if you don't carry one, you're either a pensioner or a weirdo.

Back in the early 90s, I carried an Apple Newton - a failed early precursor to the iPhone. It was about the size of a paperback book, ran on four AA batteries and had truly atrocious handwriting recognition, but it also had a cellular modem. At a time when normal people were just barely starting to take an interest in the internet, I could sit in a cafe and check my email on a handheld device.

That strange sci-fi gadget inevitably attracted attention and I often found myself giving a demonstration to a curious onlooker. The reactions of those strangers were, in hindsight, incredibly telling. Serious Business Types who carried briefcases and massive mobile phones immediately understood the potential and immediately wanted one. Literally everyone else was completely bewildered, staring blankly at an object that seemed extraordinarily sophisticated but completely useless. Why would anyone want to check their email in a cafe?

In some strange way, I think we've all become yuppies. We've all been so deeply absorbed into the techno-informational-industrial complex that no-one ever asks why. We all feel a vague unease about being permanently plugged in to this maddening metaverse full of scams and fake news and Russian bots, but none of us can imagine a world without it. The pre-internet world doesn't seem like a different time, it seems like a different universe.

In 1996, Francis Fukuyama argued that history had effectively ended because western liberal democracy had comprehensively won; liberal democracy was so superior to any other political system to be the inevitable end-point for the development of any society. The rise of China and the resurgence of Russian totalitarianism has obviously proved him wrong. The actual end of history might have far more to do with major tech companies than politics. Governments collapse, borders change, revolutions rise and fall, but nobody can imagine a future that doesn't involve most of the world's population constantly feeding their most intimate thoughts to a monopolistic tech company.

It doesn't matter whether you take the red pill or the blue pill, because you end up back in The Matrix either way.
>> No. 450509 Anonymous
8th April 2022
Friday 5:16 am
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>In some strange way, I think we've all become yuppies.

I agree.
>> No. 450513 Anonymous
8th April 2022
Friday 11:20 am
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What does it mean?
>> No. 450516 Anonymous
8th April 2022
Friday 11:36 am
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Sometimes you still see things going, "Let me tell you what life is like in Sweden", but I never enjoy those now because it's the same as here. Even if you check out the music scene of Kyrgyzstan or Ethiopia, it's definitely different and that's good but you can't rely on it. Pick a random online radio station in Brazil and they're probably playing Taylor Swift just like us.
>> No. 450517 Anonymous
8th April 2022
Friday 12:42 pm
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>Today, all music comes through the same streaming pipe, digitally remastered and served up by an algorithm.

I'll have you know I recently bought a physical album by post - the textured card packaging and print, inserts and colour palette complete the music as an entire piece of appreciable artwork. This album will stand as part of a handpicked display upon my homes dedicated music feature, once I can get off my arse to make it.

Almost by definition niche is away from the mainstream, you're not going to find it on the side of a fucking bus.

[spoiler]Lmao what an absolute cunt. You do better talking about furries.[/i]

>> No. 450518 Anonymous
8th April 2022
Friday 12:43 pm
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>> No. 450526 Anonymous
8th April 2022
Friday 5:16 pm
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Buying music on physical media is artificial now, it's a postmodern pretence. A vinyl record pressed in 2022 is a hyperreal simulation of a record, "real" only in the same sense that Las Vegas or a mock-Tudor Barratt house is real. It tangibly exists, but is devoid of truth. The purpose of the object is purely symbolic.

And so on and so on... *sniff*
>> No. 450528 Anonymous
8th April 2022
Friday 10:19 pm
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It does amuse me to no end that hipsters will pay forty quid for a vinyl pressing of an album that was definitely recorded, mixed, and mastered on Pro Tools.

But at the same time, I can see the appeal if you already have a big collection of legitimate old analogue vinyl, from an OCD perspective if nothing else. You want to be able to put them all on the same shelf neatly, and play them on the same equipment.
>> No. 450531 Anonymous
9th April 2022
Saturday 4:33 am
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Last night I watched HIGNFY for the first time in years. I know they've been phoning it in for ages, but it's got even worse.
>> No. 450533 Anonymous
9th April 2022
Saturday 5:08 am
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I’m occasionally tempted to watch it if to know how little Paul Merton can do and still earn a living. However, I’ve yet to build the courage and I don’t think I’ve seen an episode since 2019, probably.
>> No. 450536 Anonymous
9th April 2022
Saturday 7:50 am
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Full your boots.

>> No. 450539 Anonymous
9th April 2022
Saturday 8:36 am
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This vid really sums up my own feelings on vinyl.

People who tell you vinyl sounds better are fucking morons. I like to buy vinyl because:
A) 98% of my listening is on spotify and I buy vinyl to give money to the few artists I really like.
B) It's something to collect
C) It's just fun and an enjoyable way to really "listen" to music instead of just having music playing while you're doing other things.

>> No. 450545 Anonymous
9th April 2022
Saturday 4:26 pm
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It's all right. I like it. The guests were not good, though; that Asian woman (Ria Lina?) was on it once before and I'm very distressed that they invited her back. She has all of 2015's hottest takes, and nothing else.

Paul Merton has never been funny.

If you didn't like last night's perfectly enjoyable episode, I would advise you against watching any more, because even though it's great, there's something unimaginably offensive about the "guest presenter" being one of the same seven people every week for the past five years or more. Jo Brand, Martin Clunes, Stephen Mangan, Alexander Armstrong, Victoria Coren, David Mitchell, and that's it. They had Clive Myrie recently, so that was refreshing, but it's blindingly obvious that they don't want to be refreshing most weeks.
>> No. 450546 Anonymous
9th April 2022
Saturday 5:02 pm
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HIGNFY must be condemned for allowing sociopaths Boris Johnson and Jacob Rees Mogg a platform, which they used to ingratiate themselves with the British public so several years later they could hold positions of power and still be looked upon affectionately by fuckwits. Classic Bozza he got stuck on a zipline. Classic Bozza he was just having a few drinks after work it's fine top lad. Classic Jacob he was snoozing at PMQs. Classic Jacob, Grenfell Tower victims brought it on themselves.
>> No. 450547 Anonymous
9th April 2022
Saturday 5:44 pm
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>C) It's just fun and an enjoyable way to really "listen" to music instead of just having music playing while you're doing other things.
This is it for me too, it's easy to whack on a 20-hour playlist on Spotify and zone out, but putting on a vinyl record is a tactile and present experience.
>> No. 450549 Anonymous
9th April 2022
Saturday 5:56 pm
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>Paul Merton has never been funny.
I hear that. People (apparently) rave about The Masterson Inheritance but it's fucking awful. Even his performance on Just A Minute, they've a strange quality of dull energy. I can't bare to mention Who's Line Is It Anyway. At this point he's simply a familiar voice/face. That's not to say he's not interesting in non-comedy roles; I've heard a few interviews which were okay.
>> No. 450550 Anonymous
9th April 2022
Saturday 7:00 pm
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It's not their fault nobody on the left has a personality or sense of humour.
>> No. 450555 Anonymous
9th April 2022
Saturday 8:25 pm
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Hat Trick productions have long been collaborators with the state security apparatus, and together they unleashed the brain virus of political correctness, victimhood culture and identity politics etc etc which surgically dismantled the let's ability to present anything recognisable as a human face or personality.

There's an alternate timeline where we live in a socialist utopia where all your gas and lecky is free, but the price you have to pay is that Bernard Manning is still on telly, we still have the Imperial system and women get looked at on the tube. As a result this site would never have anything to whinge about.
>> No. 450557 Anonymous
9th April 2022
Saturday 8:29 pm
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Jess Phillips has both of those things.
>> No. 450558 Anonymous
9th April 2022
Saturday 8:40 pm
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You'll be furious at the adverts that came when Pointless Celebrities ended, then. In a couple of minutes, they plugged:
>Gentleman Jack (about lesbians in the past)
>Killing Eve (promoting the lesbian relationship between the two main characters)
Followed by Casualty, which began with "Previously on Casualty...", with a man saying, "I think I'm in love with you", to, you guessed it, another man.

Just one of those three would have been acceptable and fine and even commendable. Three in two minutes is enough to make anyone bust out the rare Pepes and Moonman playlist.
>> No. 450559 Anonymous
9th April 2022
Saturday 8:47 pm
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Why does it matter?
>> No. 450560 Anonymous
9th April 2022
Saturday 8:49 pm
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Not enough black people.
>> No. 450561 Anonymous
9th April 2022
Saturday 8:52 pm
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Sorry, I should have been clearer.

It's not their fault nobody on the left has an interesting personality or good sense of humour.
>> No. 450564 Anonymous
9th April 2022
Saturday 9:29 pm
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As you mentioned Jacob Rees-Mogg, I assumed those were not necessary.
>> No. 450580 Anonymous
10th April 2022
Sunday 7:54 am
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I didn't, but at least Rees-Mogg is kind of interesting and noteworthy in an eccentric sense, plus he seems happy enough to be the butt of a joke.

There's nobody in Labour that's got a cult of personality like, say, Bozza or Are Nige. They're all either PPE graduates vetted by focus groups to be bland non-people or they take themselves far too seriously to be able to lighten up.
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