>>452490
Perhaps the most effective, but I doubt it beats the satisfaction of aiming directly at oneself while wearing only boxers on a towel atop an office chair. Keep a small cloth and bowl of cool water nearby and wipe yourself down regularly, the evaporation does wonders to remove body heat. Ice lolly of choice encouraged.

>>452495
>selfquote
I'm in a flat exposed on all southern sides which gets insanely hot in the summer, it's 34℃ inside right now with all windows open and two fans running. Dreading Sunday.

>>452489

• Be sweaty
• Stop wearing clothes
• Get a 3 litre bottle of frozen water on a breakfast tray in front of a decent fan (have at least two more in reserve to rotate)
• Get an air conditioning unit and exacerbate the problem
• If you have Sash Windows, and some stupid cunt hasn't nailed or painted them shut, or otherwise made the top casement immovable, then you should get a top and bottom gap and use air convection to your advantage

>>452492

You should do what he's suggesting in that image.

Apparently it'll be close to 40° on Tuesday. What should I stock up on apart from freeze pops and fans?

What's the best kind of fans to buy?

>>452514

Buy a fan immediately before they sell out. Don't put it right out the window when you run it at night, just near - Bernoulli's principle makes a huge difference.
If you're not going outdoors much, giving your head a shave might be smart.

>>452515
Is it better to have a normal fan or the towers instead?

>>452516
Towers are better for moving air around indoors but you might struggle to get it onto your window sill.

>>452515
Don't just buy the standard £15-£30 fans you see at Asda, they're cheap but they're shit.

I have to travel to an industry convention next week where I have to leave the house at 6am to get multiple trains. Initially I thought it would be fine with the heat because the dress code could be relaxed with company t-shirts. Nope, I have to wear a suit because the organisers are twats.

Now that a national emergency has been declared I tried looking at hotels for the good of my health but the one's that still have rooms going are charging nearly £1000. I might try travelling an hour or two early and just wait around at my destination but I'm legitimately worried about train breakdowns and baking on platforms without shade. Any tips on how not to die from employer negligence is welcome.

>>452514
MEACO is alright, I actually find them better than some industrial fans.

>>452531
Catch Covid.

>>452531
"Catch" covid. Do you need an unused test code?

Come to think of it, weren't a couple of you looking for some unused tests? I have an almost full box nobody on Freecycle wanted.

I haven't seen a sexy nun in ages. Back in my day, a nun having an erotic awakening was a stock plot for saucy films. I suppose it's all e-girls and twerking these days.

>>452538
I think ever since PornHub had to wipe most of their content it's been a lot harder to find decent material across the board.

>>452539
Not just pornhub, xhamster as well. Not sure if they're all owned by Mind Geek but someone put the fear of Jesus up them (for good reason).

>>452539
There's still Motherless.

>>452547
Don't they just do rape and murder scenarios these days?

>>452539
>>452541
They really threw the baby out with the bathwater. Yes, they got rid of revenge porn and underage and non-consensual shit. But they also got rid of hundreds of SSBBW facesitting videos. Nightmare.

>>452549
No. There's a lot of bodily-functions stuff, which is my thing and I don't see why everyone is worried about Motherless when I only ever use it for either legal or dubious-but-victimless voyeur material.

There's also Thisvid, which I discovered recently. That has a lot of quite wild stuff, although videos can be set to either public or private, and the private ones show up in the search results but you can't watch them and that is frankly inhumane.

>>452541

Some countries even try to ban porn video sites outright.

Germany is now cutting off access to xhamster and pornhub via DNS blocking and URL blacklisting.

https://www.wired.co.uk/article/germany-porn-laws-age-checks

Which is a bit daft, because xhamster has been able to evade the ban repeatedly simply by registering under new top level domains, to which authorities then had to play catch up, and also, you have the glaring flaw within DNS blocking itself, in that all you need to do is enter an alternate DNS server in your Internet connection settings. Someone I know in Germany has told me that Google's DNS servers work without a problem.

British born Chinese have started describing themselves as BBC. I'm ashamed to admit that I had to stare at that one for a second or two.

It's my birthday in a fortnight and I've no idea what to tell people to get me for my birthday. My girlfriend's buying me a pair of trainers, but that's squarely because I was going to buy them for myself anyway.

And I've still got that fucking habit of unnecessarily repeating words in online posts.

>>452564
What trainers are you getting?

>>452566
I think it was one of these, but I'm not entirely sure; they've been regularly alternating what's on offer in their summer sale.

https://www.adidas.co.uk/daily-3.0-shoes/GY8115.html
https://www.adidas.co.uk/daily-3.0-eco-lifestyle-skateboarding-shoes/GY5486.html

>>452564
A tennis racket. If you like tennis, add it to the collection; if you don't like tennis, happy birthday, someone's actually bought you a whole new passion in life. It'll be a spiritual awakening for you. New friends, improved fitness, longer life expectancy, all in one birthday gift. You'll be a new man. Plus, if you have this same problem for Christmas, someone can buy you a tennis ball.

So my old mates booked a 5 a side football thing. What do I wear? Shorts? What kind of shoes? Is astro turf still a thing? Can I wear astro shoes, basketball shorts and a black tshirt?

>>452569
Just be sure to carefully vet anyone you take with you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMd9Mbnrp7w

>>452569
Have you thought about asking your mates instead of some randoms on the internet who only really talk about football when there has been a allegation of sexual assault?

>>452569

>Is astro turf still a thing?

Yes. The newer stuff doesn't give you friction burns, but it does cover you in tiny bits of black rubber.

>Can I wear astro shoes, basketball shorts and a black tshirt?

Should be fine.

>>452569
You have to be careful. I've heard of some 5th and 6th generation pitches turning people away with basketball shorts. Football only they say.

>>452569

Aren't you overthinking it a bit? Do you want makeup tips as well?

Any trainers with a light-coloured sole will probably be fine in case they have hard floor, although that isn't very common. Most venues still have astroturf. And just bring a pair of shorts and a T shirt.

You're not trying out for the World Cup.

>>452591
>Do you want makeup tips as well?

Yes please.

The prime minister of Finland is peng AF.

>>452725

>>452726

Forgive me for not keeping up to date with the leaders of Nordic countries.

Wondering if I have time for a wank before my food gets delivered.

>>452729

With one of my exes we always used to order food and then see if we could manage a good shag before it got there. The answer was usually yes, so I think a wank is more than achievable.

Out of touch critics are too obsessed with virtue signaling and idpol to understand what The People really want to watch.

Just paid £2.90 for two 4l bottles of milk. Broken Britain.

>>452750
That seems like a good deal though. But I have no idea, I buy about a litre a week if that, and do so in a fugue state induced by my increasingly all consuming ambivalence to even the simplest of life's tasks.

>>452755
Remember that it's litres, not pints, so the bottle will be slightly smaller than you expect. I've had this experience myself. Although, two lots of four litres is probably about 15 pints of milk, and £2.90 is indeed a good deal if it really was that much.

I used to always pay 2 x £1.50 for 2 x six-pint bottles, but the prices have gone up now. I don't know what they currently are, though. This must be how politicians constantly get caught out when they don't know what bread costs.

>>452756

It's really one of those things you don't look at, because you're going to buy it every week (or however frequently you shop) either way, and it's not like you have the opportunity to switch brands or whatever, because it's just milk. The brand you get is the one the shop you're at sells.

For me it's been outrageous ever since it went over a quid, because when I was 18 and worked in a shop, we used to take a quid out of the petty cash to buy a four pinter at the Aldi next door, and come back with change. So that's the price that's burned into my brain.

Coffee is absurdly expensive these days I feel like. You don't even have to buy the fancy ones, a jar of the mid-tier instants is usually five or six quid.

>>452756
They were actually 4 pints bottles, fuck knows why I said litres. In my head it's still £2 for 2 x 4 pints of milk, although I've looked it up and the average was apparently £1.15 per 4 pint bottle back in April. I know that Danpak butter in Lidl has gone up from £1.69 to £2.09 this year.

How do estate agents decide whether to let someone rent or not? My gf and I have lived in this house for 4 years, never missed a rent payment, never missed a utilities payment. However, we're both in a bit of debt from other sources. Will a debt on, for example, paying something on finance, preclude us from passing the checks?

This Welsh woman on Radio 1 sounds like a parody. I refuse to believe anybody has such a strong Welsh accent in real life. I've been to Wales, a couple of times, and they talked mostly normally. Clearly all the people who sound so Welsh it's like they have a speech impediment have been recruited by BBC Radio to quack incoherently. And this is "Radio 1's Chillest Show", apparently. I must say Sian Eleri does not make me feel especially chill.

>>452761
They're estate agents. Chances are they're funding their lifestyles on finance themselves.

My work persuaded me at the last minute to sign up for fantasy football. I wasn't going to do it because I really don't care enough about football to follow eleven different individual players, but then I remembered that Emile Smith-Rowe is apparently very good and rarely mentioned, so I signed up just to have him in my team. Anyway, it turns out he's injured. This is scandalous.

>>453059
Here you go, mate. Completed football just for you.

>>452761
If you're moving, it may or may not pose a problem, mostly because landlords are greedy cunts, no exceptions.

If you're staying, as your rent is now almost certainly substantially under market, you may end up out anyway, mostly because landlord are greedy cunts, no exceptions.