If you didn't like the tie you could have just said. No need to be this passive aggressive about it.

Are you guys excited to start CoTweeting with your friends?

My flat mate is moving out next month but he's chosen the worst season to do it as he's in a mezzanine over the kitchen and lounge so all the hot air gets trapped up there. The central London rental market isn't too terrible but it does pose some challenges if I can only bring in nutters or people who really can't afford to live in London. Obviously as it's a mezzanine with those screen dividers that immediately cuts the potential roommates in half.

Currently thinking about how I can easily improve airflow by sticking an industrial fan in the deepest corner - essentially to get the hot stuffy air circulating down and out. It helps that he's taking his plants with him so I can I put the blinds down in the kitchen during the day. Of course google is proving absolutely useless for how to go about this as it's all property developers, industrial AC units etc.

Property developers can fucking hang if you ask me. It doesn't matter if it's a small flat or a brand new home, the cunts will cut corners at every opportunity and these little things ruin the quality of life of the occupants. Like how starter homes have steps on the porch that come into a thin hallway that prams can't navigate and shoddy utility connections that will cost a fortune to fix.

>>452422
You'd think Twitter of all places would be looking to create more real accounts rather than merging them.

Hire car prices on holiday are still a piss take.

I would like to go to Andalucía again, which is expensive enough, but a car like a Nissan Juke is now close to 400 quid for eleven days out of Málaga Airport. In the Before times, in 2019, I remember me and my ex spent a little over 250 quid for the same kind of car for the same duration in Málaga.

Of course, a lot of people will only get a hire car for a few days during their stay, but I've always been the kind of person who feels like going places in the hinterland after you've spent the day on the beach. Or really just to be able to go to other beaches or a big supermarket quickly and conveniently and whenever I feel like it. Public transportation in countries like Spain or Greece can be a fucking laugh, so I'd rather have a car the whole time even if I'm not going to use it for one or two whole days and it's just sitting in the car park in front of the hotel. This has been contentious in the past, to the point that when I went on holiday with another ex, I just said, fine, you know what, you don't have to pay anything for the car. I'll put up the money for the entire week, and that's that. She later admitted that I was right about the convenience.


Self sage for rambling.

>>452424

Are mopeds any cheaper? It's been ages since I went on That Kind Of Holiday, but they're usually the sorts of place everyone just nips around on a scooter rather than a car anyway, nothing is that far away and it's warm enough you can comfortably ride about in shirts and a t-shirt. Yeah it's less safe but you're on holiday, fuck it.

>>452425

When we were in Corfu one time, a young couple from our hotel got a scooter from a slightly dodgy looking place just down the road. A few days later, with our Suzuki Jimmy from the car hire right next to it, we spotted them stranded out in the wilderness on a back road. They had plenty of petrol left, but the scooter just wouldn't start. So we gave them a lift back to the hotel.

I guess my point is, your mileage with local scooter or moped hires may literally vary. The vehicles at a lot of them seem to be in pretty poor condition.

Coincidentally, our Suzuki also broke down a few days later. Not saying it can't happen with an internationally operating premium-level car hire company like Hertz or Avis (it did one time when we had an oil leak on a brand new Renault Megane from Hertz and needed to be towed). But the way those places handle a vehicle breakdown is far better. Our car hire in Corfu tried to make us pay for the repairs up front in cash.

I can hear the bloke next door pumping up what must be a fucking olympic sized paddling pool with a shite squeaky foot pump. He's been at it for over twenty minutes.

I want to look out and see why it's taking so long but I'd have to crane my neck out the window and it'd be far too obvious.

>>452427

I looked, because he's still going. It's a normal sized kid's pool. It's going to be fucking dark before he's finished. Pretty sure it's got a hole in it and he's literally too Homer Simpson stupid to notice.

Sage for double post.

>>452428

I once made the opposite mistake by inflating a football from an industrial compressor. Most of my hearing came back within a week.

I saw a 4chan thread about the Voynich Manuscript earlier, with lots of uncharacteristically intelligent posts. I read through the thread, then I went and read the entire Wikipedia page so I could offer some insights of my own. By the time I'd done that, the thread had archived. This is an outrage.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Voynich_manuscript

It's clearly written in a language that people no longer speak. There are other writings in dead languages, such as Etruscan and Minoan, and we can't decipher them either. And all the codebreaking experts say that it really does appear to be a genuine language, but not any language that they can identify. Seems obvious to me.

>>452430

My money is on schizophrenia.

I'm aware Shinzo Abe was a very unpleasant man. However, I don't think shooting him to death is an especially good thing. I'm saying this just so there's some context around the real reason I'm making this post.

I'm very sad the gunman only used his double barrelled Fallout gun and not his nona-barralled blunderbuss 9000.

Evidently it's still topless chav o'clock.

>>452433
I don't know what's worse, the blokes who look like marmite poured into a woolly hat or the one who's bodies remind me I look like a hat full of marmite.

I thought I'd book tomorrow off to relax but so far I'm getting my haircut, seeing the dentist and right after that I'm rushing off to see a lass in an area I don't know all that well.

There I was thinking that at least I could shake my cough with a weekend of rest.

>>452433
>>452435
Is it just me or do you see a lot less of them than you used to?

Yesterday, in the middle of the afternoon, I walked past a woman walking her guide dog. It was far too hot to be walking a dog. I should have said something, but I didn't want to be accused of a hate crime or whatever.

>>452469

It looks like the CPS officially counts offences against the disabled as a hate crime. As well they should, I guess. But it just seems odd that you would hate a blind person. For what.

https://www.cps.gov.uk/crime-info/hate-crime

While the intention behind punishing hate crimes is pretty solid and you can't really argue with it, I've always kind of thought that "hate crime" is a misnomer. I know that "criminal discrimination" doesn't roll off the tongue as nicely, but it's probably a better way to describe it.

>>452469
Where's this idea come from that dogs just die the moment it's hotter than 25C? I'm sure it was fine.

>>452471
You shouldn't walk dogs when it's shit hot because it'll hurt their paws. They can also overheat.

>>452472
>hurt their paws
I doubt that.

>>452473
Tarmac test. If the ground is too hot for you to comfortably keep your hand on it for five seconds then it's too hot to walk a dog.

Forgot image.

>>452473
Doubt away but I'm paws-itive it's true.

>>452475

>Flat-faced, overweight, unwell and older

Are they still talking about dogs?

Asking for a friend.

>Where's this idea come from that dogs just die the moment it's hotter than 25C?

Brits are odd about dogs. I took mine out in what was maybe 22C for a quick walk and I had numerous funny looks. I also saw a tik-tok of a man screaming down his camera about how dangerous it is to take a dog out "when its 23 degrees outside".

Brits are odd about dogs. I'm not sure dogs would have lasted if they were spontaneously combusting in t-shirt weather.

>>452480

I think it's the combination of the known stigma of leaving dogs in hot cars (Brits drive everywhere) and the increasing popularity of breeds with undercoats like huskies, where they actually can have trouble in hot weather.

>>452480
No people who use tiktok are odd fucktards who will do anything for attention, I dont think that had anything to do with them being british.

>>452481
Leaving dogs in hot cars isn't "stigma" it will actually kill them.

>>452484
Stigmatised and deadly aren't mutually exclusive concepts.

>>452485

Exactly, this is what I was trying to communicate with "known stigma", but maybe there's a better way of phrasing it.

"The known hazard of leaving dogs in hot cars and the resulting stigma" would have been more appropriate.

I have a fan. How do I utilise it to achieve maximum coolness?

>>452489
Best use I've found is just pointing it out the window at night. Blows the warm air out in a matter of minutes. Trying to blow the cool air in doesn't work as well.

eBay have a code for 20% off any "summer" item, including fans and air con units. Might be worth a punt, I've finally given in and bought one of the latter, after many summers of hesitating.

>>452490

As Steve has always tried to teach us, adding an exhaust fan is always more efficient than more intake fans. I'm glad this kind of knowledge is seeing practical use.

I got the soldering iron out today and soldered some fancy new cork-sniffer hand-wound free range organic pickups in my overpriced American guitar built by Mexicans (but in America), making it now the most valuable thing I own other than my car. Feel like a right man doing it though, I keep telling my guitar mates to get new pickups so I can install them for them.

It's not even the weekend, or does the heat make it a technical weekend?

>>452490
Perhaps the most effective, but I doubt it beats the satisfaction of aiming directly at oneself while wearing only boxers on a towel atop an office chair. Keep a small cloth and bowl of cool water nearby and wipe yourself down regularly, the evaporation does wonders to remove body heat. Ice lolly of choice encouraged.

>>452495
>selfquote
I'm in a flat exposed on all southern sides which gets insanely hot in the summer, it's 34℃ inside right now with all windows open and two fans running. Dreading Sunday.

>>452489

• Be sweaty
• Stop wearing clothes
• Get a 3 litre bottle of frozen water on a breakfast tray in front of a decent fan (have at least two more in reserve to rotate)
• Get an air conditioning unit and exacerbate the problem
• If you have Sash Windows, and some stupid cunt hasn't nailed or painted them shut, or otherwise made the top casement immovable, then you should get a top and bottom gap and use air convection to your advantage

>>452492

You should do what he's suggesting in that image.

Apparently it'll be close to 40° on Tuesday. What should I stock up on apart from freeze pops and fans?

What's the best kind of fans to buy?

>>452514

Buy a fan immediately before they sell out. Don't put it right out the window when you run it at night, just near - Bernoulli's principle makes a huge difference.
If you're not going outdoors much, giving your head a shave might be smart.

>>452515
Is it better to have a normal fan or the towers instead?

>>452516
Towers are better for moving air around indoors but you might struggle to get it onto your window sill.

>>452515
Don't just buy the standard £15-£30 fans you see at Asda, they're cheap but they're shit.

I have to travel to an industry convention next week where I have to leave the house at 6am to get multiple trains. Initially I thought it would be fine with the heat because the dress code could be relaxed with company t-shirts. Nope, I have to wear a suit because the organisers are twats.

Now that a national emergency has been declared I tried looking at hotels for the good of my health but the one's that still have rooms going are charging nearly £1000. I might try travelling an hour or two early and just wait around at my destination but I'm legitimately worried about train breakdowns and baking on platforms without shade. Any tips on how not to die from employer negligence is welcome.

>>452514
MEACO is alright, I actually find them better than some industrial fans.

>>452531
Catch Covid.

>>452531
"Catch" covid. Do you need an unused test code?

Come to think of it, weren't a couple of you looking for some unused tests? I have an almost full box nobody on Freecycle wanted.

I haven't seen a sexy nun in ages. Back in my day, a nun having an erotic awakening was a stock plot for saucy films. I suppose it's all e-girls and twerking these days.

>>452538
I think ever since PornHub had to wipe most of their content it's been a lot harder to find decent material across the board.

>>452539
Not just pornhub, xhamster as well. Not sure if they're all owned by Mind Geek but someone put the fear of Jesus up them (for good reason).

>>452539
There's still Motherless.

>>452547
Don't they just do rape and murder scenarios these days?

>>452539
>>452541
They really threw the baby out with the bathwater. Yes, they got rid of revenge porn and underage and non-consensual shit. But they also got rid of hundreds of SSBBW facesitting videos. Nightmare.

>>452549
No. There's a lot of bodily-functions stuff, which is my thing and I don't see why everyone is worried about Motherless when I only ever use it for either legal or dubious-but-victimless voyeur material.

There's also Thisvid, which I discovered recently. That has a lot of quite wild stuff, although videos can be set to either public or private, and the private ones show up in the search results but you can't watch them and that is frankly inhumane.

>>452541

Some countries even try to ban porn video sites outright.

Germany is now cutting off access to xhamster and pornhub via DNS blocking and URL blacklisting.

https://www.wired.co.uk/article/germany-porn-laws-age-checks

Which is a bit daft, because xhamster has been able to evade the ban repeatedly simply by registering under new top level domains, to which authorities then had to play catch up, and also, you have the glaring flaw within DNS blocking itself, in that all you need to do is enter an alternate DNS server in your Internet connection settings. Someone I know in Germany has told me that Google's DNS servers work without a problem.

British born Chinese have started describing themselves as BBC. I'm ashamed to admit that I had to stare at that one for a second or two.

It's my birthday in a fortnight and I've no idea what to tell people to get me for my birthday. My girlfriend's buying me a pair of trainers, but that's squarely because I was going to buy them for myself anyway.

And I've still got that fucking habit of unnecessarily repeating words in online posts.

>>452564
What trainers are you getting?

>>452566
I think it was one of these, but I'm not entirely sure; they've been regularly alternating what's on offer in their summer sale.

https://www.adidas.co.uk/daily-3.0-shoes/GY8115.html
https://www.adidas.co.uk/daily-3.0-eco-lifestyle-skateboarding-shoes/GY5486.html

>>452564
A tennis racket. If you like tennis, add it to the collection; if you don't like tennis, happy birthday, someone's actually bought you a whole new passion in life. It'll be a spiritual awakening for you. New friends, improved fitness, longer life expectancy, all in one birthday gift. You'll be a new man. Plus, if you have this same problem for Christmas, someone can buy you a tennis ball.

So my old mates booked a 5 a side football thing. What do I wear? Shorts? What kind of shoes? Is astro turf still a thing? Can I wear astro shoes, basketball shorts and a black tshirt?

>>452569
Just be sure to carefully vet anyone you take with you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMd9Mbnrp7w

>>452569
Have you thought about asking your mates instead of some randoms on the internet who only really talk about football when there has been a allegation of sexual assault?

>>452569

>Is astro turf still a thing?

Yes. The newer stuff doesn't give you friction burns, but it does cover you in tiny bits of black rubber.

>Can I wear astro shoes, basketball shorts and a black tshirt?

Should be fine.

>>452569
You have to be careful. I've heard of some 5th and 6th generation pitches turning people away with basketball shorts. Football only they say.

>>452569

Aren't you overthinking it a bit? Do you want makeup tips as well?

Any trainers with a light-coloured sole will probably be fine in case they have hard floor, although that isn't very common. Most venues still have astroturf. And just bring a pair of shorts and a T shirt.

You're not trying out for the World Cup.

>>452591
>Do you want makeup tips as well?

Yes please.

The prime minister of Finland is peng AF.

>>452725

>>452726

Forgive me for not keeping up to date with the leaders of Nordic countries.

Wondering if I have time for a wank before my food gets delivered.

>>452729

With one of my exes we always used to order food and then see if we could manage a good shag before it got there. The answer was usually yes, so I think a wank is more than achievable.

Out of touch critics are too obsessed with virtue signaling and idpol to understand what The People really want to watch.

Just paid £2.90 for two 4l bottles of milk. Broken Britain.

>>452750
That seems like a good deal though. But I have no idea, I buy about a litre a week if that, and do so in a fugue state induced by my increasingly all consuming ambivalence to even the simplest of life's tasks.

>>452755
Remember that it's litres, not pints, so the bottle will be slightly smaller than you expect. I've had this experience myself. Although, two lots of four litres is probably about 15 pints of milk, and £2.90 is indeed a good deal if it really was that much.

I used to always pay 2 x £1.50 for 2 x six-pint bottles, but the prices have gone up now. I don't know what they currently are, though. This must be how politicians constantly get caught out when they don't know what bread costs.

>>452756

It's really one of those things you don't look at, because you're going to buy it every week (or however frequently you shop) either way, and it's not like you have the opportunity to switch brands or whatever, because it's just milk. The brand you get is the one the shop you're at sells.

For me it's been outrageous ever since it went over a quid, because when I was 18 and worked in a shop, we used to take a quid out of the petty cash to buy a four pinter at the Aldi next door, and come back with change. So that's the price that's burned into my brain.

Coffee is absurdly expensive these days I feel like. You don't even have to buy the fancy ones, a jar of the mid-tier instants is usually five or six quid.

>>452756
They were actually 4 pints bottles, fuck knows why I said litres. In my head it's still £2 for 2 x 4 pints of milk, although I've looked it up and the average was apparently £1.15 per 4 pint bottle back in April. I know that Danpak butter in Lidl has gone up from £1.69 to £2.09 this year.

How do estate agents decide whether to let someone rent or not? My gf and I have lived in this house for 4 years, never missed a rent payment, never missed a utilities payment. However, we're both in a bit of debt from other sources. Will a debt on, for example, paying something on finance, preclude us from passing the checks?

This Welsh woman on Radio 1 sounds like a parody. I refuse to believe anybody has such a strong Welsh accent in real life. I've been to Wales, a couple of times, and they talked mostly normally. Clearly all the people who sound so Welsh it's like they have a speech impediment have been recruited by BBC Radio to quack incoherently. And this is "Radio 1's Chillest Show", apparently. I must say Sian Eleri does not make me feel especially chill.

>>452761
They're estate agents. Chances are they're funding their lifestyles on finance themselves.

My work persuaded me at the last minute to sign up for fantasy football. I wasn't going to do it because I really don't care enough about football to follow eleven different individual players, but then I remembered that Emile Smith-Rowe is apparently very good and rarely mentioned, so I signed up just to have him in my team. Anyway, it turns out he's injured. This is scandalous.

>>453059
Here you go, mate. Completed football just for you.

>>452761
If you're moving, it may or may not pose a problem, mostly because landlords are greedy cunts, no exceptions.

If you're staying, as your rent is now almost certainly substantially under market, you may end up out anyway, mostly because landlord are greedy cunts, no exceptions.

Is it normal for a lass to grab your dick and rub it up and down on her clit like she would with a finger?

>>453195

If that's what she's into, sure, why not. Personally, I'd take it as a hint.

>>453196
What kind of hint?

>>453198

That her clit needs a bit more attention.

>>453195
Women are just weird and personally I've always found it a bit uncomfortable when they do that, especially when they slide back to put all their weight on your ball arteries. Next time you get your chub and whack it on her clit and see her delight.

>>453211
No I've found they'll do it anyway. Women are always rubbing their fannies on stuff any chance they get, this is the real reason they're banned from being fire-fighters.

>>453212
>this is the real reason they're banned from being fire-fighters

I've never seen a female binman.

>>453213

That you know of.

>>453214
Have you ever seen one? They don't exist.

>>453213

https://www.shropshirestar.com/news/local-hubs/oswestry/2018/07/30/meet-sophie---oswestrys-first-ever-binwoman/

>Meet Sophie - Oswestry's first ever binwoman


Shropshire is leading the way, as always.

>>453215

I was joking but yes there was one here once.

>>453216
Made up places don't count. What happens somewhere fictional like Oswestry, Camberwick Green or Narnia doesn't matter.

>>453217
I'll take your word for it.

>>453216
She's not a real binman. More like a glorified bus driver. A bus for rubbish.

>>453218

>Made up places don't count. What happens somewhere fictional like Oswestry, Camberwick Green or Narnia doesn't matter.

Google Maps says they do have a tourist information centre in Oswestry.

>>453220

Who the fuck would choose Comic Sans for their signage though.

Maybe it's a made up place after all.

>>453220
And Narnia's got a talking lion and unicorns that like to fuck shit up.

>>453222

And they've got gay guys having adventures.


You know, the kind who are so deep in the closet that they're having adventures in Narnia.





I'll work on my jokes.

>>453221
That's very obviously not Comic Sans.

Man United being shit is still going to be funny for like three more years.

>>453221
I seem to remember walking by a school on a hill in the countryside that had Comic Sans signage. Also, as someone has already pointed out, what you posted isn't even close to Comic Sans.

>>453225
It's very common for primary schools to use Comic Sans. They're everywhere.

Today I am in Southport.

It's not as much of a shithole as I thought it would be.

>>453227
I always get Southport mixed up with Ormskirk. I have no idea why. I've never been to either, the names are completely different, and they might not be that near each other either.

>>453227
Why's that? Just because it's near Blackpool or something else?

My grandmother used to live there so I got to go quite regularly as a child. I don't know if it was Victorian or Edwardian or what, but her flat was absolutely lovely. I can't say I was very happy when she relocated to a bungalow in Runcorn because she wanted a garden. Sod your garden, I want to go to the beach.

>>453228

They're only about 10 miles apart on the A570, with practically nothing in between.

>>453227

The pensioners saved it. Unlike Blackpool and Morecambe, it transitioned fairly gracefully from being a tourist resort to a retirement destination. Southport has always been rather more upmarket, but I suspect that golf has been a big factor in recent decades - the quantity and quality of golf courses on that stretch of coast is frankly absurd.

>>453230

Southport sounds fucking depressing from your description.

>>453231

It's nice if you like that sort of thing. Slightly sleepy, Victorian architecture, lots of tearooms with flowery crockery, parks with model villages and boating lakes. Obviously I prefer Blackpool because it's the European Capital of Fat Slags, but even Blackpool is embarrassed by its reputation for hen nights, swingers hotels and cheap class-A drugs.

>>453234
There's only about five lasses in that picture I wouldn't shag.

If someone's going to stab me in the eye do it now. I want to be a young man with an eye patch, that is an ambition I have. Don't wait until I'd super old, people will just assume I'm sick if I'm wearing on then.

>>453245
Have you considered criticising Shamanism?

>>453246
Or just wear an eyepatch? Surely not many people are going to peek under it.
Seems like an odd ambition, but better than trout lips I guess.
See if you can get a screen on the inside of the patch, so you can watch .gs, anime, porn or whatever floats your goat 24/7.

I think I spent too much time in the sun today. I've got a headache, my forehead feels hot and I'm slightly dizzy. Might be a bit of a sunstroke.

Is this something I should go into A&E with?

I've got a foolproof way to make two new friends this Tuesday.

>>453258
Call 111, they'll tell you what to do. This is exactly the kind of issue it's there to resolve.

>>453249
Inauthentic, I couldn't live with myself even if I could lie convincingly. The screen might be a bad idea too, trying to focus on it would probably make me go blind. Hang on a minute...

>>453267

I called them and the GP they connected me to suggested taking headache drugs/pain relievers, and taking cool, not cold, showers as well as intermittently putting an ice pack or a cold wet washcloth on my forehead. She told me to make sure I drink enough fluids and to sleep in a cooler part of the house tonight if possible, and if it gets worse over night, I should go to A&E tomorrow morning.

She said it sounded like a mild case of heat stroke, which is a very common complaint right now.

>>453269

You'll be reyt as long as you keep drinking plenty of water. Get some bacon or summat down you to replace the salts too, much of the issue is the fact you lose so much minerals sweating buckets that the balance of the osmosis and that in your cells gets knocked out of whack. It's essentially like giving yourself a hangover without the beers.

Don't hassle A&E with it because you'll only be taking up a bed where they keep an eye on you and make sure you're drinking water, it's not like there's much else to be done about it. If you start puking blood or something overnight then fair enough, but otherwise try not to be that guy.

https://www.mylondon.news/news/zone-1-news/oxford-street-chaos-shops-looted-24749280

Not saying I approve, but using flash mobs to encourage kids to loot your American Candy store might be the most creative insurance scam yet. It's definitely not so bad for a city as torching a failing restaurant/night club

>>453269
Neck some Lucozade.

>>453258 Is this something I should go into A&E with?

Do you think that sitting in a ragingly hot waiting room for 6 hours, without anything to drink, before being told to go home, sounds like what you need?
Eat (a bit - omelette and chips is my goto, easy to chuck some salt onto ), drink (a fair amount, several pints). If you're dehydrated from working / sweating too much, there's a chance you'll get cramps tonight. Not much you can do about that - tell yourself they'll pass and you'll probably not die.

Is ambulancelad back?

I'm feeling better this morning. Got up a few times during the night to take some ibuprofen and drink some water, but I think my heat stroke symptoms are subsiding now. I work from home, so I'll be fine today. Just going to take it easy a bit.

I've been offered a job, which I've already done 8 hours unpaid training for it, with another 10 day training course (unpaid) upcoming. I want to show willing, but that's a lot of time and energy expended with no financial gain.

>>453304
Pre-emptive strike against the inevitable comments about how it's not "with no financial gain" if you've got a paid job at the end of it. They're expecting you to expend two weeks of labour, at which point your bills aren't exactly on hold, and anyone who thinks you should put up with it because It'S aN inVeSTmEnT!1! is a cunt who needs yeeting into the sea.

>>453309
>Pre-emptive strike against the inevitable comments about how it's not "with no financial gain" if you've got a paid job at the end of it.

First time visiting this site?

>>453310

>yeeting into the sea

Certainly sounds like something the younger sorts who use those other internet discussion places might say.

I did my bit for anti-fascism this morning by scratching a Nazi sticker off a bus time table with my keys. I realised about halfway through this process I probably could have peeled it off in an instant, but by that point I was committed.

>>453385
Not to scaremonger but people have occasionally been injured by razors hidden under stickers, using your key is sensible.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-58020985
https://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/vicious-nazi-groups-razor-blade-22876959

Everyone's making fun of Ryan Giggs' poetry, but he's on trial for domestic abuse. I dunno', it just seems a bit jovial considering the circumstances.

>>453387
Well, I can hardly say I was "sensible", but a nice tip, thank you. Those anti-maskers were a laugh. Ostensibly trying to help people because the NWO-Judeo-Nazis were going to eat your liver, but the moment you said "I'm not so sure that's true..." they wanted to set you alight.

>>453395
Alex Ferguson said he had a fantastic temperament.

>>453395
The best wordsmiths tend to be tortured fiery souls. John Lennon was a massive cunt, for example.

What's the easiest bank to open a new account with? In terms of asking you for ID and so on, I mean; because the entire reason I need to open an account with a new bank is to obtain a third form of proof of address.

Incidentally- Why are companies so anal about what they will accept as proof of address? Is it, as I have always assumed, just a result of poorly written guidance resulting in jobsworths unwilling to use a bit of common sense? Or is there some legitimate actual reason they will only and exclusively trust utility bills? If the purpose is proof of address, then surely it just has to be anything addressed to you, why are they so autistic about it being a bill or statement?

>>453402

The fact that a lot of places will accept screenshots of your bank statements as proof of anything just goes to show it's 99% bollocks.

>>453403
You understand how easy it is to manipulate screenshots but seem to underestimate how easy it is to print fake paper bank statements.

It's all a charade meant to keep honest people honest.

Like how banks will password protect their downloadable PDFs from editing. The defeat mechanism is print to PDF.

>>453404

>It's all a charade meant to keep honest people honest.

Being more cynical, I've always assumed that to some extent, it's more of a filter intended to stop a certain type of people being able to rise above their station. It's the kind of thing that is, in theory, a minor inconvenience to most of us. On the surface of it there's nothing discriminatory or explicitly discerning. But to someone who's already fallen through the cracks of society, these kind of obstacles are as likely to be pretty much insurmountable.

I once went out with a lass who was basically a NEET and a bit of an autist. She'd never had a passport, so she'd never been abroad. So I talked her into getting her passport so we could go away- But she didn't know anyone who met the requirements to co-sign for it- She hadn't lived here long and nobody had known her long enough to qualify. She basically gave up at that hurdle, and I get it honestly. You come across something like that, and you know it's basically just like a coded message that plebs like you aren't supposed to do real people stuff like this.

It's intended as hoops to jump through, because they know the undesirables are less likely to be able to jump through them.

>>453405
That logic makes sense in the realm of voter suppression, but I'm really not sure anyone benefits from excluding the downtrodden from banking or international travel. She could probably have just submitted a signed declaration herself and attended an identity interview.

>>453406

It's just a small detail amongst many things that make social mobility more of an uphill struggle than it need be, because we need a precariat in order for our economy to function.

Do you still have to go to Wales for the passport interviews?

I'm watching a lot of Bucks Fizz stuff, Cheryl Baker and Joy Aston must be the top tier of pop music hotties.

>>453406
You have to do the same shit getting a student loan, or maybe just applying to uni to begin with. It was a while ago and it was bullshit either way. The assumption I knew a doctor, a lawyer or a chartered accountant when I was a NEET until four weeks ago was such a “fuck you”. That’s all the world is, really: fuck you and die. If you don’t make it, every time you’re asked, it’s misery time for the rest of your shitty life. It’s like a bullet hell only you’re even expected to kill yourself.

>>453409
If you ever have to go to court that applies too; they ask you to provide character witnesses from professionals like that. Doctors, lawyers, other phDs. It's incredibly unfair on people who can't.

>>453402

Under the Money Laundering Regulations, banks are obliged to ask for proof of identity and (crucially) take steps to verify that identity. Banks take this extremely seriously, because several banks have been hit with seven-figure fines for cutting corners on anti money laundering.

They aren't asking for a utility bill because they trust it as proof of your identity, they're asking because it gives them something to check. If they ring up your gas company to check that the details on your bill are correct, they can be reasonably confident that your gas company isn't going to lie to them, which can't be said for a random letter from a company or individual that they know nothing about.

If you're struggling to open a bank account, step one is to ask for a Basic Bank Account. This is a specific type of account designed for people with poor credit history or limited proof of identity who might have difficulty opening a conventional bank account. If that doesn't work, call your local council and ask to speak to someone responsible for financial inclusion. They should be able to advise you on alternative proof of identity - things like a letter from your GP, the DWP or a prison governor.

Failing that, speak to your local homelessness service. They have arrangements in place that will allow you to open a bank account even if you have no fixed abode and absolutely nothing by way of identity documents. The banks do have to verify your identity with someone they trust, but a lot of banks are perfectly happy to trust an outreach worker at Shelter, Crisis or the Sally Army.

>>453409

I don't mean to psychoanalyse you, but I think you're projecting your own feelings onto an inanimate bureaucratic process. There's no malice here, it's just that people who have dropped out of society are much rarer than professional fraudsters. It's a pain in the arse, it feels like a kick when you're down, but think about it from the other side. The person who looks at your application (or the person who designed that online form or whatever) is acutely aware of the fact that 99% of applications that look like yours have been filled out by Nigerian fraudsters. They're quite keen on not being sacked or prosecuted for giving out a load of five-figure loans to people who don't actually exist.

I've been there, I know that it's difficult, but it's infinitely more difficult if you take it personally. There are a lot of people in the world who are more than happy to help, but you have to ask. It all starts with believing that you're worth helping.

>>453402
Depending on why you need it - just create a fake utility bill. The jobsworth cunt with their fake, useless job will just scan and save it.

>>453407
Is that what motivated HSBC to market "No Fixed Address" accounts to the homeless?

>>453410
I did and they didn't.

>>453414
Shouldn't have taken the duty solicitor.

>>453411

>They aren't asking for a utility bill because they trust it as proof of your identity, they're asking because it gives them something to check. If they ring up your gas company to check that the details on your bill are correct, they can be reasonably confident that your gas company isn't going to lie to them, which can't be said for a random letter from a company or individual that they know nothing about.

Ah fair enough, that makes sense. Like the equivalent of when your bank asks you "what was the transaction you made at 2:34am on the 13th" or whatever.

Even still though what stops them just phoning the bank and asking "Hi, does Anon live at this address?" and then the bank go "Yes."

>>453417
I'm really not convinced. I'd be prepared to believe "it gives them something to check if it really came down to it", but I don't see them doing it routinely. And besides, does GDPR even allow the utility company to divulge anything about their customers?

If a bank wants you to prove your address they'll do the sensible thing and send you a one-time password in the post.

I had an ID check this week for an upcoming job. I sent my proof of identity and address documents via scans which I emailed to the HR department. But I still needed to go on webcam on Teams for them and hold my ID up to the camera. You'd think a high quality scan would suffice, without the need for me to show my passport on my shitty low res £20 webcam.

>>453418

Of course they won't actually do it routinely, but I'd imagine like just about everything in our nightmare bureaucracy, it's not about actually following the rules, it's about covering your arse in the case you ever have to prove you're following the rules. Hence why it has to be so obtusely and autistically specific- You can't allow the peons manning the desks to use free thought, it has to be one of four highly specific documents, that way they can't cock it up and put any of the higher ups at risk.

Same as with health and safety or any of the audits and shit I have to do at work. All those COSHH sheets and what have you. It's not because anyone gives a fuck if I'm going to burn my eyes out with industrial bleach, but the paperwork is all there to make sure nobody loses their job if I did.

>>453408
I only discovered last year that they'd done more songs than just the Eurovision one and the good one. A friend of mine recommended lots of Bucks Fizz songs and I know there was one I discovered that I really, really liked. I think they were dressed as soldiers in the video, but beyond that I can't tell you which one it was.

I was also watching a shitty talking-heads documentary on Top of the Pops, on Channel 5, earlier, and they had Cheryl Baker one and I thought she was still hot now. It then occurred to me that I fancied her as a child too, and that it is therefore possible that I have fancied Cheryl Baker for my entire life. She would have got it when she was presenting Record Breakers and I was six, and she'd get it now.

>>453418

>And besides, does GDPR even allow the utility company to divulge anything about their customers?

Recital 47, overriding legitimate interest. "The processing of personal data strictly necessary for the purposes of preventing fraud also constitutes a legitimate interest of the data controller concerned". The bank isn't asking the utility company to provide any personal data, just to confirm whether or not the bill provided by the customer matches with one printed by the utility company.

Of course they aren't actually asking directly, but going through a third party (invariably a credit reference agency) who, by nature of their business, have very broad leeway under the GDPR to process personal data without consent. It should be pretty obvious that fraud prevention and credit checks only work because companies can legally process data that the data subject doesn't actually want to provide. If it weren't for the overriding legitimate interest clause, you could just tell the credit reference agencies "actually, I'd rather if you didn't tell anyone about my bankruptcy" and they'd be forced to comply.

You would be astonished at how much stuff is happening behind the scenes when you interact with any financial institution. I've worked on a perfectly ordinary fraud prevention system for a credit card processing company that used more than 4,000 data fields for each transaction. They were using some fairly creative interpretations of the GDPR, but you have to get creative when you're wrestling with the contradictory goals of having very easy transactions for legitimate customers while reducing fraud to a minimum. If it weren't for all that data analytics voodoo, we'd go back to the days when you asked your bank manager for a loan and his main criteria were the strength of your handshake and whether your father was the right sort of chap.

I've never been directly involved in AML/KYC for a bank, but I have worked on it for online gambling sites. If you open an account at BetFred to stick a tenner on the Grand National, they're going to check your details against a database at the US Treasury Department to make sure that you aren't a Russian oligarch or a member of Al-Qaeda. I don't know why the US government is so keen to prevent radical Shamanismists from gambling, but I definitely wouldn't want to be the one to find out.

>>453431
So... GDPR is just useless. I don't like any of this.

I'm able to get an NUS (Totum) card through work, which I've been doing for the best part of a decade. When I renewed in 2016 it was £32 for a three year membership,by 2019 this had gone up to £35 but now they're asking for £50. They can fuck right off.

There's also far fewer places you can use the card these days as well. A lot of websites now use something like Student Beans where you need a valid university email address instead. It was useful for getting 10% off in the Co-op as it brought their prices in line with other supermarkets for the most part, but they have gone up ridiculously since pre-pandemic levels. I think the main use I'd get out of it if I renewed is student pricing for Amazon Prime, but paying £50 to access this for three years feels like I'd be fleecing myself.

>>453432

GDPR is an incredibly effective piece of legislation, it's just sensibly written to allow for data processing that is genuinely essential. The sea change has been in processing activity that used to be accepted, but wasn't entirely above board.

Pre-GDPR, most businesses hoarded data like a mythical dragon sat atop a pile of treasure. They collected everything they could get their hands on and kept it indefinitely. Post-GDPR, they treat it like toxic waste - they collect as little as possible and get rid of it as quickly as possible, in line with the principle of data minimisation. It's a complete reversal in attitudes, because the regulations went from being totally laissez-faire to a minefield of risk for data processing.

A couple of years ago, if a marketing department did a prize giveaway to build up the mailing list, there'd be a mandatory tick box saying something to the effect of "by entering this competition, I agree that my information can be used for marketing purposes and shared with third-parties". Just by entering that competition to win a holiday or whatever, they would assert the right to do anything they liked with your personal data forever, because they had "consent". That consent wasn't freely given, it wasn't specific and it wasn't freely revocable, but nobody gave a shit. Your data would be sold and re-sold to anyone who wanted it and there was basically fuck all you could do about it.

Today, there are two separate check-boxes - one saying "I agree that my data may be used solely for the purposes of administrating the competition" and one saying "I would like to receive marketing information from the competition sponsor". Nobody dares to re-sell lists any more, because the risk is just too great. Virtually all of the pre-GDPR marketing lists have been wiped, because nobody is sure that the consent given would stand up today. If you ask to be taken off the list, they'll wipe it immediately and double-check to see if you're in any other systems, because people now genuinely fear the ICO.

For the first year or so of GDPR, I had a lot of long meetings with increasingly furious executives who simply didn't want to believe how far-reaching the legislation was. Compliance departments spent large parts of their day telling people "your brilliant idea is a flagrant breach of GDPR and it's not going to happen", over and over again. When the regulations came into effect and the fines started going out, the tenor of those conversations changed. They weren't confrontations any more, they were confessions. People weren't angrily demanding to know why compliance were getting in their way, they were begging compliance to help them deal with all of the personal data they'd been hoarding for no particular reason. They saw the in-house newsletters about other companies being fined, realised that they were doing exactly the same things and shat themselves. The fear and embarrassment of that transition hasn't been forgotten and people think very carefully before they start collecting personal data.

Anyone who doesn't have that mindset by now is going to end up in court sooner or later. No-one is above the regulations; in the last 12 months, the ICO has taken enforcement action against the Ministry of Justice and the Cabinet Office for GDPR breaches. If you complain to the ICO about a breach, they will pursue it and they won't stop until it's resolved.

I was watching one of those paedo stings that groups on Facebook do, I watch a lot, but this potentially the worst I've seen. Paedo was a young lad, obviously disabled, he admits he was sent to live in a care home because he threatened to kill his family, definitely a vulnerable adult. And the sting team were vile. Kept laughing at the size of his penis, calling it a chipolata, and making him say stuff on command. Making him say "thank you" to the security team for "protecting" him, then when he said it he's told to say "thank you very much". Then the stinger makes him say "I am a sausage". I know paedos are bad but it really felt wrong that the sting team were toying with him and abusing him. Also the whole time there's a crowd of braying onlookers, jeering him and hurling insults. I am definitely no paedo defender, but seeing them totally humiliate a guy too retarded to stand up for himself, kind of sad.

>>453434
Is ICO really doing things now? Because if that's the case it would be the biggest regulatory turnaround in history.

In the past, ICO have:
- taken controllers' word at face value, even when presented with contradictory evidence;
- declined to pursue cases or seek enforcement action because they deemed it to be inconvenient to do so;
- on occasions where the targets of complaints have failed to comply, told complainants there was nothing they could do and to go take the target to court, despite taking uncooperative targets to court literally being their responsibility as regulator.

I rented a sex lady. It wasn't very good. Not her fault particularly; I just don't think I'm cut out for transactional sex.

And I reaffirmed my belief that condoms are worse than pointless.

>>453438
Only middle class ponces are afraid of STIs.

>>453436
Would you feel bad for him, or the child he would have dicked with his chipolata if the pedo hunters didn't get to him? Suspiciously odd.

(A good day to you Sir!)

>>453436
Every one of the pedo hunter types on youtube is out for the likes rather than the actual job.

(A good day to you Sir!)

>>453440
>>453441
It's paedo you pair of carpet-baggers.

>>453438

> I just don't think I'm cut out for transactional sex.


In some ways, all sex is transactional though.

Paying a stranger for a shag could even be called one of the most honest forms of consensual sex, because there's going to be very little pretense and all the other shite you have to keep telling a romantic partner.

>>453440
But he didn't carpet-bagger anyone and was never going to because the girl fictional. And most of these paedo hunter types create these, very creepy, sultry, desperate teens who all too often lure in half-wits like otherlad described who are so socially stunted and emotionally maladjusted you'd struggle to imagine them working up the gall to thank the bus driver, let alone groom a vulnerable teenager. It's basically entrapment, and while I'm not comfortable defending these people, what are the odds people like otherlad described were actually going to abuse anyone? Obviously, I'm not saying being dimmer than a zero watt bulb prevents you from being dangerous, some of history's most capable serial killers were only caught after tying their shoe laces together and tripping to the back of a police car. However, apparently around two-thirds of child sexual abuse takes place within families and my understanding is that much of the remaining third is someone else the child already knows. These paedo hunters create a situation in which they conjure their darkest fantasy so they can have the satisfaction of what is usually little more than a morally righteous happy slapping. I don't really see how creating new paedophiles is helping victims or preventing further offenses from taking place. It doesn't put me at ease that most of the people doing this seem like horrible bastards as well, just not being a paedo is a pretty low moral bar to clear, but apparently it's these people's proudest accomplishment; well done, you only pretend to be a child sexual abuser on the internet, how normal, I'm sure you're an entirely rational and well balanced member of society in every other aspect of your life, you complete nutter.

I don't know, it's like a giant centipede eating a tarantula or something. Okay, the spider's gone, that's ace, but I'm still not totally comfortable with what's happening here.

>>453443
You can go out with people you like, too.

>>453443
All relationships are transactional.

>>453440
I would feel worse if he actually managed to diddle a kid, but even if he is a criminal he doesn't deserve to be put in a virtual pillory and humiliated. It should be a police matter, not a matter where a bunch of fuckwits record it all and put it on Facebook for the kudos.

>>453448
They do sound like knobs. I wonder how I'd react if an anti-paedo lynch mob got set upon by a gang of paedos. It probably wouldn't be as entertaining as I'm imagining, but I am imagining it being very entertaining indeed. Film it for YouTube, play Rock & Roll Part 2 over the top, and I can't see how it would fail to be amazing.

>>453451
Is that you Kunt?

>>453436

I think these people really are just bullies who have realised they can indulge their taste for cruelty unchallenged, because the "victim" is somebody who's already morally indefensible. It's kind of like the Sun reader's equivalent of "cancel culture"- They're not in it for the supposed social good, their motivation lies entirely in the rush of wielding power over somebody.

The thing is it's always struck me how remarkably similar the set-ups always look to the times I remember being bullied, or seeing someone being bullied, by a group of older lads at school. It's the exact same dynamic, where you can tell they're getting a real high from making somebody do something humiliating, and that person being entirely at their mercy.

For all intents and purposes it doesn't matter that the paedo is a paedo, because if it wasn't a paedo they'd find someone else to be an acceptable target. I'm willing to bet if you transported these people to a different time and place, they'd be happily taking part in the lynching of blacks in the 1890s or the burning of witches in the 1600s.

>>453460

Paedos belong in the hands of the legal system, and not in those of an angry mob with pitchforks. Any court in this country will do a much better job serving justice than people playing on the subconscious visceral fears of the unwashed masses.

I fully expect the justice system to throw paedophiles in prison, if the severity of their offences warrants it. But nothing good ever came from the kind of fearmongering the tabloid media have engaged in in the last 25 years or so.

You're right that it's a kind of sanctioned cruelty. It's something deep within us that when you declare group X of the population as outcasts and undesirables and thus make them fair game, it brings out the worst in people. Again, not trying to defend paedos. What they do is inexcusably wrong. But even if you are somebody who commits the worst crimes imaginable, you still retain certain basic rights as a person. The law says so, even if the lynchmobs don't like it.

>>453460

This. These paedo vigilante groups come across as exactly the same violent sadists who were beating up gays 20 years ago, but since the police actually take that kind of thing seriously now they've had to find more socially acceptable targets.

It's clear they don't actually give a shit about protecting kids otherwise they'd be handing any evidence they collect over to the police (assuming they haven't just faked a bunch of it to justify their actions) and not risking jeopardising a potential prosecution by interfering or posting about it on the internet.

I remember seeing an interview with some senior coppers on a current affairs programme about this a few years ago. Apparently these groups getting involved pretty much guarantees that their targets won't be found guilty of anything since their computers are wiped by the time the police find out and vigilantes publishing stuff on the internet can cause all kinds of problems for the prosecution even if there is enough surviving evidence to charge them.

>>453468
I think the way the more prominent groups do these things is to collect the chatlogs/paedo dick pics, arrange a meeting with the target under the pretense of being a 13 year old girl, then when the paedo arrives they put him under citizen's arrest to "legally" manhandle him, then call the police to arrest him. When the police arrive they hand over all the chatlogs, so the paedo doesn't have time between the sting and the arrest to destroy evidence.

>>453469

Most of these lads don't understand terms like "entrapment" or "chain of custody". That kind of investigation requires a lot of finesse, because the offence is purely hypothetical. There's no actual victim, so the offence happened purely in the mind of the defendant. The prosecution needs to prove that the defendant genuinely believed that they were talking to a child and genuinely intended to commit an offence against them.

Any competent defence is going to challenge the authenticity and integrity of those chat logs, they're going to argue that crucial messages have been altered, deleted or fabricated. They're going to argue that the defendant thought they were just engaging in a fantasy with an adult, or that they were coerced into their actions by a gang of aggressive and manipulative men who set out to railroad vulnerable people into doing things that they wouldn't do of their own volition.

Unless the investigating team are very careful to pre-empt these concerns, then their "evidence" is going to be riddled with major shortcomings. If these vigilante stings do lead to prosecutions, then it's more by luck and failures of criminal legal aid than anything else.

>>453470

There was a pretty toned-down three-part documentary on Channel 4 last year where a camera crew was shadowing a police special unit whose members pose as underage boys or girls on the Internet. The remarkable thing was that the police officers repeatedly checked with their colleagues and superiors for reassurance that their moves were within the confines of the law, and whether or not the evidence gathered so far would be enough to move in on and apprehend the would-be child molester. The focus was on building a reasonable case against an offender that would hold up in court.

It sounded like a very reasonable approach, whose key objective was to turn up paedophiles who, by their behaviour, would pose a real threat to vulnerable children in the immediate future. Those police units aren't doing it for shock value or TV ratings, it's a matter-of-fact kind of work that enforces child protection laws.

All those TV programmes like To Catch a Predator only foster the idea that vigilante justice is the way to go. And they evidently inspire private vigilante groups who may become good at framing and publicly shaming people, but that's about where it ends.

In a very general kind of way, I still believe that law enforcement and crime investigation should always be the job of the proper authorities. Everybody else can only do more harm than good to the cause.

>>453471

>The remarkable thing was that the police officers repeatedly checked with their colleagues and superiors for reassurance that their moves were within the confines of the law, and whether or not the evidence gathered so far would be enough to move in on and apprehend the would-be child molester. The focus was on building a reasonable case against an offender that would hold up in court.

For all the mistakes made by our police and all of the wrong'uns in uniform, this mindset really isn't all that remarkable these days. After a decade of austerity, everyone is acutely aware of the scarcity of police and CPS resources. They aren't in a position to go after everyone, so they have to make it count - they consciously target the highest-risk offenders and work hard to present the strongest possible case to the CPS. They know that they won't get a second chance at the case, they know that taking on one case means ignoring something else.

I think one of the most telling things about the state of criminal justice in this country is the last few minutes of a programme like Traffic Cops or Police Interceptors. Five years ago, it was a rundown of who got convicted and what their sentence was. Today, it's mostly a litany of "accepted a caution", "no further action", "released under investigation" and "awaiting trial". It must be incredibly frustrating to feel like you're just holding back the tide, to know that a lot of your effort will be pissed up the wall because the CPS and the courts can't cope, to know that properly nasty people are walking the streets only because there isn't enough manpower to get them in front of a jury.

>>453475

I think the fact that you can be done in for grooming a non-existing child already goes towards that idea of trying to make it count.

Critics have often said that it is a victimless crime when a child that a paedo believes exists but who is really a covert police officer gets groomed online. Because no actual children were harmed. An argument that isn't as easy to dismiss as you would think at first. Because you're going after Internet users who have not (yet) commited a physical offence against an actual child. So you really had to frame it as a public and child safety issue, based on the idea that somebody who gets caught unknowingly grooming a police officer instead of a child can be expected to go on and succeed at abusing an existing child the next time when authorities aren't looking.

Without making the act of grooming as such illegal, police would have very little to go on, it'd be conceivable that they'd have to routinely let people go based on an impossibility defence. And the next time they'd groom somebody, perhaps even bolstered by the fact that police couldn't make anything stick against them, it might just be an actual child who then gets harmed.

Most paedos when they get caught grooming a police officer have their home searched for more incriminating evidence, which then often turns up illegal pornography or indications of previous grooming offences. Unless somebody would reveal in an online chat with a ficticious child that he had illegal child pornography at home, authorities probably wouldn't even obtain probable cause for a search if the grooming itself wasn't illegal.

So yeah, bit dodgy in terms of legal theory that you can be nicked for something you didn't even really do, but in the greater scheme of things, it serves its purpose. Not least because sexually normal people who aren't paedophiles usually don't come within a country mile of entertaining the idea of grooming a child online. In some ways, you can't go wrong going after somebody who does, so the ends justify the means.

>>453470
The entrapment point is particularly important. The police units that do this sort of thing are incredibly careful when it comes to what they say and do. They have to be sure that nothing they do could be seen as inciting someone or leading them on. They have to not only make it happen, but do so such that the target isn't doing anything they wouldn't have otherwise done, otherwise they risk having the case tossed or all their evidence excluded.

>>453476
>>453477
Wait... I am pretty sure the secret service does the same thing with would-be daft militant wogs.

How does dental insurance work? After I fix this filling, I want to get one. The NHS can go to hell.

I might as well get health insurance too.

>>453480
Again, they're careful not to actually plan acts of daft woggery. They want to present the target with an opening to set about planning and follow along. The way it's usually described in the legal literature is "an unexceptional opportunity to commit a crime".

>>453480
>>453491

I was going to say, isn't the key difference there that the intelligence services more or less do plan and execute actual acts of turrism, from the ground up, just for the sake of arresting them?

At least the Yank ones do. It's what that Chris Morris film was about.

>>453492

The Americans don't really have a good track record in maintaining due process of law when it comes to anti-militant daft woggery measures. Theirs seems to be an approach where to make an omelette, you've got to break some eggs.

Case in point, a significant number of the post-9/11 Guantanamo inmates were just indiscriminately rounded up from all over the Mideast, often on very sketchy tipoffs or dodgy intelligence info. They were then declared neither prisoners nor prisoners of war but enemy combattants, a made-up term and a deliberate move because there was no legal basis or precedent in terms of what rights and recourse such enemy combattants were entitled to. They also had no access to the American judiciary system because Guantanamo is neither on American soil, nor is it a territory or otherwise a place where U.S. penal law applies. Any U.S. citizen convicted of militant daft woggery on U.S. soil enjoyed more legal rights than an inmate in Guantanamo.

>>453476
Everything's fine when Rambo's on the job.

>>453511

>>453511

Someone needs to check his browser history.

Also, it took me several attempts to read that as anything but "RAMBO PREDATOR: EXPOSURE HEAD SECURITY".

>>453518

>Also, it took me several attempts to read that as anything but "RAMBO PREDATOR: EXPOSURE HEAD SECURITY".

It does sound a bit like they're just jumbled words.

Or like a twelve year old in the 80s trying to come up with a good name for an action movie.

>>453519

Or one of those nightmarish pound shop action figures.

>>453521

>SUPERIOR POWERED THUNDERBOLT OVERLORD TOP KING

The Chinese truly have a way with words.

>>453522
It's a truly sad thing that the combination of globalisation and improved machine translation will one day make Engrish a thing of the past.

>>453523

Let's enjoy it while it lasts then.

The only site reporting it at the moment is The Mail, but apparently a man in Liverpool slit his throat yesterday whilst being recorded on Facebook live by a gang of paedophile hunters.

>>453573
Statement from the hunt team.

>>453573
https://www.rudgwicksteamshow.co.uk.com/r/CrazyFuckingVideos/comments/wye3uw/graphic_man_slits_throat_during_paedophile_sting/

Video is on rudgwicksteamshow.co.uk, people physically attacking the guy with the slit throat even while his neck is gushing blood. Insane.

>>453579
Shouldn't be a filthy diddler who takes a knife to meet up with kids if you don't want to get beaten up.

>>453583
If you can't be safe meeting a child in the car park of a police station, where can you be safe?

>>453576

This is pretty horrific. Sketchy orthography aside, paedo nor not, they are not taking any responsibility for driving a person into attempting suicide. Which they did.

In a certain way, that makes them even lower than child molesters. Whatever you may think how paedophiles should be treated, this is not the way. Angry lynchmobs are irreconcilable with the rule of law. And the rule of law must be upheld even against those who commit heinous crimes against children.

>>453576
Translation:
>He must have been a wrong'un, he was carrying that massive knife. It's a good thing our people were there to harass him to death so he couldn't hurt anyone else. We deliberately kept shooting to prove he could have turned on us, but we forgot we had deliberately kept shooting so didn't realise what we were doing was being caught on video. We deeply care about the welfare of all our targets, which is why instead of calling an ambulance we just kept on beating him while he was dying."

Does having a knife in your car count as carrying a weapon, legally?
I realise it was in easy reach so probably not relevant in this case but I'm still curious.

>>453587

>Does having a knife in your car count as carrying a weapon, legally?

Yes, if you just keep a substantial knife in your car without good reason, it counts as possession of a knife in a public place without good reason or lawful authority, according to the 1988 Criminal Justice Act.

Just permanently keeping a knife in your car means you have no good reason for it to be there. It can be a punishable offence if police search your car and find it. Or if they just spot it during a traffic stop.

I usually take a big kitchen knife with about an 8'' blade with me when I go catch and keep fishing, and a smaller folding knife when I'm out mushroom foraging, but the law allows both of them as valid reasons to have a knife in my possession in public.

>>453590

What if you keep it in your glove compartment with a Primus stove, fork and a plate?

>>453591

I guess it would depend on the circumstances and you being able to come up with a reasonable explanation to a police officer.

If they stop you on the way back from a camping trip, I'm sure they'll acknowledge that you needed kitchen utensils for it.

>>453591

A lot of hoodlums started keeping a baseball and glove in their boot to justify their baseball bat, but that excuse doesn't really hold up when they've also got twenty wraps of coke.

>>453593

Keeping a baseball and glove in the boot to justify the baseball bat, parked up outside the pub drinking cider with a full carvery dinner.

>>453593

Just don't pour the bat out with concrete.

You can legally keep a baseball bat in your boot, and you can even carry it around with you openly. It is not defined as an offensive weapon as such, but counts as sporting equipment. It only becomes an offensive weapon if you use it to (attempt to) attack a person. The law says you are not allowed to "brandish" it in any way.

A baseball bat in your car is also obviously not your biggest problem if you get caught with cocaine.

I've had a crowbar and little fold out stanley knife in the back of my car for about the last three years (among other things such as gaffer tape, a sleeping bag, and a box of blank casettes). No real reason, just the kinds of items I find to be situationally useful from time to time so I leave them in the car.

Where's that stand, legally? I could probably string an excuse that I do a bit of carpet fitting on the side. I think the knife is legal anyway because it's under a 3" blade or something like that, but are they going to assume I'm going out robbing stuff because of the crowbar?

I feel like the way the law works in this country is more like, you've nowt to worry about if you're not actually doing anything wrong, they're not really going to nick you just because you happen to have something with you. It's just so that if you do seem like a troublemaker they have very strong legal grounds to nick you, regardless of circumstantial evidence.

>>453596
Depending on how specific rozzers feel that day, they might claim you're going equipped.

Though given the other things you've got there, they're probably hiding in plain sight.

I have a selection of giant knives (which turn out to be very hard to photograph), and my understanding has always been that they're legal to own as long as I don't take them outside. I wonder how I got them home? Is that a legally acceptable reason?

>>453598

It's been so long since anyone took a "thing in front of gs onscreen" photo. Wow.

>>453598

Did you brandish them on the way back from the shop while gooning like Liz Truss wearing a Union Jack dress at an international conference? If not, then you're probably not on a list.

>>453598
>I have a selection of giant knives

Now there's a surprise.

>>453601

>>453595

>You can legally keep a baseball bat in your boot, and you can even carry it around with you openly. It is not defined as an offensive weapon as such, but counts as sporting equipment. It only becomes an offensive weapon if you use it to (attempt to) attack a person.

Not true. Any object becomes an offensive weapon if it is carried with the intent of being used as a weapon, regardless of whether that object is actually used or brandished as a weapon. The burden of proof lies with the prosecution to demonstrate that intent, but there's a broad spectrum of reasonableness underlying that burden.

If you've got a hammer in the back of a work van at 6pm, the prosecution would need very specific evidence to demonstrate that you did in fact intend to use it as a weapon. If you're on a night bus at 2am with a hammer shoved down the back of your jeans, the prosecution is going to invert the burden of proof by arguing that there is no plausible explanation that doesn't involve violent intent; you're going to have a really hard time contradicting that argument. Nobody is likely to try and nick you for possessing a set of house keys, but if you told a police officer "I put my keys between my knuckles to use as a weapon", they could arrest you and you'd be bang to rights.

Bladed and pointed articles and certain objects manufactured with the intent of being used as a weapon are more heavily restricted, in that they are automatically regarded as offensive weapons regardless of the intent of the possessor. The onus is on you to prove that you had good excuse or lawful purpose to carry that item. Peculiarly, precedent has established that a completely blunt butter knife is a bladed or pointed article within the meaning of s.139 of the Criminal Justice Act 1988, but a screwdriver isn't.

https://www.lawtonslaw.co.uk/resources/weapons/

>>453598

You can carry almost anything in a public place if it's lawful to own it and you have a "good excuse or lawful purpose" to carry it. "I've just bought it and I'm taking it home" is a lawful excuse, although that excuse applies only to that activity. If you take a detour on the way home, you're on much shakier ground. Most of the time this won't be relevant, but (for instance) you aren't going to get away with taking a meat cleaver to the pub simply because you've got a carrier bag and a receipt for it.

Schedule 1 of the Criminal Justice Act 1998 sets out a fairly long list of prohibited weapons which are illegal simply to possess in most circumstances; you should probably familiarise yourself with it if you're a collector, because there are a few surprises.

https://www.legislation.gov.uk/uksi/1988/2019/schedule

>>453603
>the prosecution is going to invert the burden of proof by arguing that there is no plausible explanation that doesn't involve violent intent
I'll just show 'em this doctor's note I have for my hammeroids.

Thinking about a lot things tonight. Pizza toppings mostly. Also I'm wondering why everyone in Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul wears dark, heavy jackets even though I understand New Mexico to be hotter than the sun. I suppose allowances have to be made if you want to hide a gun on your person.

>>453603

>Not true. Any object becomes an offensive weapon if it is carried with the intent of being used as a weapon, regardless of whether that object is actually used or brandished as a weapon. The burden of proof lies with the prosecution to demonstrate that intent, but there's a broad spectrum of reasonableness underlying that burden.


It effectively still means you can walk down the street with a baseball bat in your hand and as long as you mind your own business and don't give anybody a menacing impression or reason to believe you are carrying the bat to harm somebody, there's nothing the police or authorities can do about it.


>arguing that there is no plausible explanation that doesn't involve violent intent

That's pretty much it, in a nutshell. You could be travelling back from a dinner party on a bus with a 12'' meat carving knife in your bag, and it would still be legal, because you are not carrying it openly and there's no reason to believe you're going to threaten somebody with it. And you obviously need a reasonable way to get the knife back home with you after the dinner party.