My girlfriend is back tomorrow after a week away with our kids. Should I have missed them? I've really enjoyed the solitude.

>>453052
I enjoy the odd week or two by myself when the missus takes our lad down to her parents to visit. I can sleep in, play Xbox during the day, eat shite and wank like a teenager.

>>453047

>a professional shill who doesn't have a real job

That describes about 93 percent of all youtubers.

I have some respect for somebody who decides to do youtube fulltime after a successful career in whatever field, which denotes them as an actual expert in what they are talking about. Or people who indeed keep their day jobs and have a youtube channel on the side to fill up their free time. But some 20something who can't be arsed to do anything real for a career or living and gets paid shedloads by companies to promote their products by basically talking to their camera from their bedroom is just a sign of capitalism's true decadence.

Sometimes I feel like a failure, but then I remember that a substantial group of people were involved in the commissioning and production of Talking Pints with Jimmy Savile and I feel much better about myself.

>>453056
>At 5 years old Archie became a statemented child (In the US this is equivalent to a child being deemed a behavioral issue and given IEP services)

Being statemented doesn't mean you have behavioural issues, it just means they've got special educational needs. I know someone who was statemented for being dyspraxic, not for being a little shit.

>Most of the images posted by Hollie of her son would be considered pedobait style images

A small child not wearing a t-shirt is now paedobait?

I've skimmed the rest, but it mainly seems to be about shaming her for being poor and for working as a pole dancer.

>>453057
It's Kiwi Farms, everyone there is just as bananas as the most bizarre people they document. If you spent your free time meticulously documenting everything the local mad-tramp did people would tell you to get a life, but if it's on the internet there's a big forum where you can hang out with all the other mad-tramp watchers and share notes so it's alright, I guess.

There are definitely reasons to be sceptical about many of the claims around Battersbee and it doesn't appear Dancer was an especially... balanced mother prior to whatever really happened, but a photo of a ten year old in tracksuit bottoms is hardly "paedobait", you're right. There is more substance further down, but at a certain point I realised I didn't actually give a shit and stopped reading entirely. If anyone got to the end and discovered something that could effect me or the entire world, please tell me. Anything else and I'm not bothered.

>>453058
170 pages, it was only 164 before I went to have dinner. I didn't really know about the case until today, and I admit it has piqued my interest, but not 170+ pages level of interest.

Archie Battersbee's family organised a vigil outside his hospital last night, where they were trying to flog t-shirts at £15 a pop. Grifters gonna grift.

>>453063

>Archie's Army

Agony tourism at its finest.

I read yesterday that the mum said "It should be for God to decide when and how someone dies" and I was kind of struck by... Well, I don't really know the word for it. If it was up to God to decide when and how someone dies then he should never have been put on the machine.

>>453076
It's all part of the grift. Watch the first five seconds of this. She's grinning before she rounds the corner to speak to the media, I don't think she knew she was being recorded at that point.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxFYh--lmzA

>>453077
See, now you're becoming just another kind of Facebook weirdo to Archie's Army. She clearly catches someone's eye, she then smiles at that person, presumably as they smiled back at her, then she stops smiling.

>>453077
>I don't think she knew she was being recorded at that point.
Your thinking is retarded.

>>453080
Mate, she's got the cranial capacities of Karen Matthews.

>>453081
There's got to be dozen or more cameras. There's no conceivable way she can't or hasn't seen them and she's walking directly up to them to deliver an arranged statement literally three seconds from when she smiled. A couple days ago even Archie would have known he was being recorded.

>>453082
She rounded a bend, she wasn't thinking about the cameras until she was facing them head on.

This is like in Gone Girl when Ben Affleck is encouraged to smile for the cameras even though his wife is missing, and then when he forces a smile they use that to pin it on him.

Leave the woman alone you psycho.

>>453085
It's also the exact same bollocks as the Yanks have been using to "prove" whatever school shootings are fake, if they catch the parents smiling at any point.

>>453084
She walked around a 60cm wide sign ya fucking yoghurt.

>>453084
If we ever have to do .gs five-a-side bagsy not having the lad with zero spatial reasoning on my team.

>>453088
Exactly. She was walking in one direction then turned 90°. She thought she was obscured from view by the sign.

>>453090
We needn't discuss the merits of that because she smiled after rounding the sign and her body was facing the cameras, not before.

Show is over, let's move on.

It's what Archie would have wanted.

>>453091
Let's agree to disagree, although you may wish to go to Specsavers.

So the rest of you are seeing the correct video he meant to post, are you?

Are there any jobs where you can be a sneaky little rat-man but it's not evil? All I really like doing is sneaking and reading about history.

>>453096

Private investigator? Red team security consultant? GCHQ are constantly trying to recruit anyone with a maths degree or fluency in Mandarin in a way that seems sort of desperate, but you might regard mass surveillance on behalf of the British Government to be a bit evil.

Laina Morris is still incredibly fit.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNXkDhUHTdo

I so would.

Not somebody who really belongs in the Guilty Would thread, so there.

Just thought of a good username for Steam or something: Closet Donkey. I've already got one I really like so I'm not using it if anyone wants it.

>>453102

I don't like my steam name any more, and I have thought of a better one, but I've left it as what it is for so long, and it's at the point that several real life acquaintances call me it because we met through playing in a clan etc, that it would look weird if I suddenly changed it, and I'd have to ask them all to start using my new name, so I feel far too self conscious to actually change it.

Its a bit like if you had a nickname at school that people still call you now. You just have to live with it, don't you. You can't change it.

Kerry Katona is surprisingly good craic.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/p0cr6sth

Oh fuck me not another load of heat

>>453103
I started changing mine quite regularly at the end of last year, but I think my current one's settled after an American in a game I was playing said "*Steam Handle* is the best name I've ever seen, man, that's great". I've final joined the halls of all time great usernames, alongside Justin Fected and Banal Play. But the weird thing was that the game I met that American in was Fallout 2...

>>453105
Yeah, I'm not looking forward to it. Especially as I actually have to be doing stuff this time around.

Clunge is a bit of a strange word for newspapers to asterisk out.

Trying a new takeaway and I'm really curious as to what they mean by "8pc Mac n Cheese" given what I thought I knew about macaroni.

>>453108
It'll be mac and cheese bites. Balls wrapped in breadcrumbs and deep fried.

>>453107
I would probably do that. Although using the word at all is the strange thing. I assume you went in the same 4chan /sp/ thread that I did, rather than just visiting the Bad News Website That Must Not Be Named but is clearly worse than 4chan, and so you will know a lot of people there had never seen the word "clunge" before.

They might also have censored it to entice people into clicking and finding out what the mystery "c****e" word was. I always get really annoyed when the BBC website has a news story like "Beyonce faces criticism over use of slur" and I click the story purely to see which slur she used, and they refuse to say in the article. If I remember correctly, it was "spazzing".

>>453110
I haven't visited 4chan in years. I've been browsing a few news sites to see what's happening with Giggsy; the type of person who names a file attached to an email "blackmail" is clearly big brained, but I guess we all knew that from when he tried suing the internet years ago.

>>453109
I see. In my limited imagination I never conceived of such carbo-villainy as this. I ordered chicken nuggets and a veggie burger, just to fuck with them. They're gonna' freak out so hard I might never even get it.

>>453111
>names a file attached to an email "blackmail"
Christ, I know footballers have a reputation for being daft but that's beyond.
>Just email something like "this is evidence of my crimes and I hope no one else ever sees this. I will break the law again!"

A lass on tinder had this as her final picture on her profile. Fair play.

>>453114

At the risk of sounding sexist, maybe it should be required to include semi-nude pictures on your tinder profile. Nothing pornographic, just something to give a clear idea what somebody would be getting themselves into. After all, whoever you hope to attract is probably going to see you naked at some point. Especially if you're really only on tinder looking for a shag.

When I'm using tomato puree in something I like to have a cheeky suck on the tube afterwards for a little treat.

>>453122

That's fine as long as the lads have to, as well.

I always include a full body shot in my profile, there's no sense hiding the fact I'm made of mashed potatoes.

Listen I don't give a fuck what you two are on about, why is it so hot again? I thought we were done with this.

I've made the terrible mistake of having several beers when I don't have the requisite drugs to go with it. How do you buy drugs nowadays? Do you just go on Snapchat and search "cocaine" or something? I'm out of the loop.

Ahh, fuck all this. Everything is bollocks.

>>453140

>That's fine as long as the lads have to, as well

I would have no problem with that. I gained a stone and a half of stomach fat during the whole corona what-have-you that I have yet to shed again and which doesn't look flattering in pictures, but I am not ashamed of it in any way, and if that means I am unattractive to a lass, then she can just fuck off.

>>453141

>How do you buy drugs nowadays? Do you just go on Snapchat and search "cocaine" or something?

You're not far off, dealers do post deals and their gear on Snapchat now.

The only way I know to get drugs on the internet without first sourcing a real life dealer is through the dark web, but it's a right chew on, and obviously you have to wait longer.

>>453143

Can you really get recreational quantities of drugs on the dark web?

I thought it was more a place for your wholesale assault rifle and credit card database shopping.

>>453144
You thought very wrong.

>>453144

The dark markets are basically eBay for drugs. Not only can you buy two pingers or a quarter of weed, you can buy it from a seller with 99.8% positive feedback and a money-back guarantee. A lot of the sellers are UK-based and offer next day delivery.

It's a bit of a ballache to figure out how to use Tor Browser Bundle and how to buy cryptocurrency safely, but there are plenty of guides available. Once you have figured it out, you'll never have to wait in a McDonalds carpark for some gobshite who has been saying "yeah, I'm just around the corner, I'll be there in a minute" for the last two hours.

I think it's fair to say that Louis Theroux has won the internet today.