>I'm planning on collecting sweet chestnuts

Fun fact: Sweet chestnuts used to be a food of the poor in Victorian times, because they were one of the most abundant trees in towns and villages, and the chestnuts were free to pick up for everybody. Better-off people usually didn't want to be seen collecting them, because they were worried it would make them look poor.

>>454621
I've seen conkers but no chestnuts this year. Good call though, it's a nice day.

I have tons of mushrooms on my lawn too, but they're bearded milkcaps and poisonous.

>>454623

Wikipedia says that in Soviet Russia, bearded milkcaps are considered edible after cooking and marinading.

I think I saw some monk's heads around the woodlands just up the road here the other day. But I'm not familiar enough with them to be able to rule out their poisonous lookalikes.

>>454623
I know a spot where they have a fair bit of them, but I think I came a bit early as the ones I opened were mostly on the puny side. I got fed up of being prickled by them so I've filled up most of a carrier bag and I'll give it a few days before having a bash at them.

Got three packs of diazepam, taking it, it's the first time in years I've felt well.

I can hear fireworks. It's that time of year already.

Going shopping for furniture, like a grown up.

I must have driven by the Amazon distribution centre not long after the drivers set off on their deliveries because at least 20 vans went past me, with a seemingly never ending stream of them coming out of the warehouse. It was a bit eerie.

I ate too much Lasagna and fell asleep.

Had a lovely bacon pannini at a Turkish cafe this morning, spent the rest of the afternoon in various pubs with our lass. Finally I have achieved the lifestyle I have always dreamed of.

Not to brag or anything but life is good sometimes. You don't have to be loaded. Just have your priorities straight.

Had linguine bolognese today but realised I was out of parmesan when the linguine were already cooked. Couldn't be arsed to go back to the shop, so I had to take a slice of gouda and cut it into small bits. Not the same. Really not.

The missus had never seen Lord of the Rings so we're chipping away at all the extended cuts to bring her up to speed.

Also the wedding was last month and went swimmingly. Thank you to the one or two lads that helped calm me down when I was worried about various things.

Can't find Emanthal cheese in this dead end town. I'm going to blow my brains out at the self-service in Asda.

>>454636

Emanthal is a deworming tablet, so I'm not surprised that you've had no luck at the cheese counter. If you're after Emmental, try Aldi.

>>454637
God, I really should kill myself.

>>454638

Nah mate, there's no need for that. There's a whole world of mild-tasting continental cheeses just waiting for you.

In all seriousness, if you do feel like you're in crisis, you can call The Samaritans at any time on 116 123. If you think you might be a danger to yourself, call 999 or go to A&E.

In my opinion you only really need three cheeses in the household.

1. A nice cheddar, for which I tend to go for Pilgrim's Choice extra mature.

2. Something nice and creamy like Wensleydale, Cheshire or Caerphilly.

3. Some form of hard Italian cheese.

The occasional guest appearance by a camembert is fine too. No point bothering with your Dutch cheeses unless you're popping a Babybel into your packing up.

>>454641

>3. Some form of hard Italian cheese.


I would suggest Grana Padano instead of Parmigiano Reggiano.

Especially when put on pasta, the difference is negligible, but it's a quid less than Parmigiano. There's a lot of prestige around real Parmesan, but it doesn't justify the extra expense IMO.

>>454642
For me, it's Pecorino.

Took three hours putting together my standing desk. Very embarrassing, and the shelves I was going put my PC on aren’t here so it’s functionally still a normal desk. It’s got a cup holder.

>>454706
Sounds nice. Where did you get it from? I need a fancy table badly.

It's the last weekend before the clocks go back. Feel like I ought to do something in the garden but don't know what.

>>454709

Run around in circles, screaming, naked except for a layer of woad.

>>454709

What if we kept the clocks where they are, and everybody just did things an hour earlier?

>>454712

As a former shift worker, I think we should randomise the clocks just to shit up the nine-to-fivers. Set the clocks forwards by eleven hours, see how they like it.

>>454707
https://ezshopper.co.uk/category/standing-desks/
The name's off-putting, but it seems like a quality desk. It doesn't wobble (since I tightened everything this morning), the motor doesn't sound like a lawnmower going over a human skull and it's currently holding a PC, two monitors and my forearms without issue. I didn't get any of the add-ons so I can't speak to their usefulness or quality.

>>454710
>>454709
Don't forget to cover your hair in cow shit.

Turns out I'm out of Lancashire sauce, which is my secret ingredient in veg soups.

My mouse wheel has stopped working which seems like a minor problem but it makes the entire computer experience incredibly frustrating.

Finally sorted through the sweet chestnuts. Ended up with about a bowl full of non-shit ones.

>>454718

I bought some from Lidl the other week, and one of the chestnuts was apparently in the process of germinating and had sprung a tiny little root tip. So I wrapped it in some wet toilet tissue and put it in a small tupperware container with a lid, and put it near the kitchen radiator. It'll be interesting to see if I can actually grow my own little chestnut tree from it.

>>454719
A few councils are asking people to donate the likes of conkers and chestnuts they've collected to help expand or create new woodland. For example:

https://www.wakefield.gov.uk/climate-change/wakefield-woodland-creation

>>454720

Probably best not to use ones bought from a shop for that.

>>454719

The wet paper thing is to help induce germination, if it's already germinating then you want to transfer it to soil.

I need a big clock. Where does one buy a big clock?

Made a meal and threw it up on Sunday.

>>454740

Took her for a drink on Tuesday.

>>454742

No, I actually cooked something today and it caused me to vomit a bit over an hour later. I think the open tin of tomato puree from the back of the fridge was off. It looked ok, but it was open since about Monday.

>>454743

We were making love by Wednesday.

I've been outside of the UK for a week and unable to view this site. Now I've been catching up on all the posts. I know I regularly say the exact opposite of this, but sometimes you bastards need to shut the fuck up and post less.

On a side note, I always assumed I could still visit /shed/ and ask to have my foreign IP address whitelisted, but it turns out I can do no such thing.

>>454746
Just use a VPN lad. Windscribe gives you 30GB a month for sweet FA. I use it to watch yank netflix,

This morning I've been to Farmfoods. Unfortunately I got there the same time as a large chav family, approximately consisting of a grandmother, her two daughters and about five kids under the age of 7. One of the women was arguing with her kids about which energy drinks to buy, which culminating in her telling one of her kids "oh bollocks to you, you can fuck off." She completely lost her shit when he replied saying she should fuck off instead, crying to her mum that she couldn't believe her son had sworn at her. Their solution to this was to ring the boy's father and tell him go take his phone away, which didn't work as then all the kids started running around the shop screaming like lunatics.

>>454841
I had a dream I was drinking an energy drink this morning, despite not drinking soft drinks at all for almost ten years now. I also dreamt I had to peel a black film off the back of my PC monitors after they got wet somehow.

Anyway, yeah, some people are wank parents. I'm sure it's much, much harder than I realise, but they're making a pig's ear of it regardless.

>>454842
Energy drinks are the current craze, mainly thanks to that one KSI is selling in Asda (although the local Joe shop is selling them with a 300% markup).

https://www.gazettelive.co.uk/whats-on/food-drink-news/asda-chaos-teens-queue-6am-25321160

https://www.birminghammail.co.uk/whats-on/food-drink-news/asda-5am-queues-prime-hydration-25304369

I've never really understood why lazy people have kids because they're so much effort.

Really enjoyed having stroopwafels with my coffee this morning.

I looked up some of the less attractive girls from school to see if they had a glow up from ugly duckling into beautiful swan. They have not.

>>454847
I find the opposite to be true half the time.

When it comes to cooking pasta should I be heating cold salty water in a pan or boil the kettle first instead?

>>454911
In terms of energy use that depends on what your cooker runs on, in terms of cooking it doesn't matter.

>>454911

On the hob if it's gas, doesn't matter if it's electric. You can turn off the heat after two minutes if you put a lid on the pan.

https://www.barilla.com/en-gb/passive-cooking

Seeing as we're in the mood for sweeping generalisations, why are women obsessed with true crime stuff? Is it simply because they're nosey bastards?

>>454929
They're more interested in understanding people's thoughts and feelings, because women's hormone levels fluctuate more than men's and so they are more aware of the fundamental irrationality of human nature, so it's good to know why people think certain ways. For example, serial killers. On top of this, they are more afraid of being kidnapped and raped and eaten by britfa.gs posters, so these criminals are more at the forefront of their minds and it's good to understand their thought processes in case they ever need to reason their way out of being murdered.

That's what I assume, anyway. I do actually have one male friend who likes true crime stories, and he's perfectly normal. He works in a care home, though, so he might just be very good with emotional connections and my theory might still hold true.

>>454929

There's a definite aspect of fear fetishisation to it, I reckon. I can't help but feel like there's a connection between the average woman's obsession with Netflix true crime docs, and the way some more unhinged women end up in relationships with death row inmates. As far as I'm aware, that doesn't tend to happen the other way around.

It's that arousal from powerlessness that makes you enjoy getting tied up and having your balls trampled by a sadistic younger woman. Or, if you like, those blokes who are paranoid that any woman could accuse him of rape at any moment, and the majority of people would instantly believe the woman. Except for them, it's like any bloke they meet could be the next Dahmer, and slice their eyelids off after tricking them to think he's a charming and handsome date. All day every day they're surrounded by potential killers, and whether they know and admit it or not, it kind of gets them off a bit. The sense of helplessness in face of injustice and cruelty.

Beyond that though it's just the most exciting and titillating form of the everyday gossip most lasses like to indulge, and I think that's all it is for most of them.

Just killed two mosquitoes with a rolled up magazine against the wall. Big ones, too.

It's fucking November.

>>454982

I keep telling you, this is a tropical island now. Just a very big one.

I wore loose trousers with no undies today. Never felt like a bigger pervert. Must remember to do the washing more often.

Also a guy who added me on Steam earlier this week just messaged me, which is sickening.

>>454986
In an emergency you can get four uses out of one pair of undies.

Normal.
Back-to-front.
Inside out.
Inside out back-to-front.

>>454987
No, I can't. You can, but I can't.

Steam guy sent two ";)" across five messages. Utterly frightening.

>>454988

Clearly he's after a bit of your massive sweaty willy.

I've made some crinkle biscuits and they are the shit.

I know people bang on about the fact that healthy food doesn't have to be more expensive than 'unhealthy' food, but why is the latter so much less fun to make? Baking just shits all over cooking.

I fell at the first hurdle, lads. Man was not meant to be left alone with an internet connection and a cock.

Anybody got a friend who is obviously somehow deeply insecure but covers for this by pretending their life is absolutely flawless in every aspect and sometimes taking pot shots at you?

I have a friend who is always making digs about random things disguised as jokes but pretends the equivalent aspect of his is perfect in any way.

I recently went on holiday with a few people, including him and other friends and girlfriends. Despite his obviously receding hairline and my absolutely fine hairline he tried to imply mine was receding or I was somehow attempting to cover it up (it's literally fine, luckily) and when I retorted he said his was just a severe widow's peak. He attacked my very good job and quality of life and similarly defended his and made it out to be perfect. He even had a thing where any sort of unfavourable lookalike comparison he could think of would be constantly thrown out there until his girlfriend snapped at him and asked him what he was going on about and why he kept trying to say I looked like people that I obviously do not. He even, despite being a bit of a cunt to his girlfriend at times on the trip in front of us all, would keep trying to imply I was in some way ungentlemanly to my girlfriend over any minor thing.

It was just very weird and I assume people doing this do this because they are insecure. I have a few people in my life that do this, where it's like for their own insecurity they randomly try and take pot shots at me out of the blue. I really don't get it as I'd never do this to people.

Anyway he wants to meet up with some other mates but I just can't really be arsed. Am I being a cunt or are these people just exhausting after a while? After a few years the good banter is outweighed by their tediousness and constant insecure attempts at one up manship.

A nearby pub is playing lots of songs very loud as well as a few fireworks. All 2009's hottest pop-rock crap, The Fratellis, Kaisar Chiefs and now they're mixing up with Living on a Prayer. No fuck, as I type this they're doing Guns 'n' Roses, terrible stuff. I'm not even that close, the people several streets closer must be going ape shit.

>>454989
Worst part was he didn't actually play the game after messaging me. He wasn't asking me if I wanted to play because he was going to anyway (polite, considerate) my presence was contigent on what he did next (needy, pressurising). When did my willy get sweaty? Whatever, he's not having it regardless.

>>454992
That's very odd and as someone who's deeply insecure I don't think that has much to do with it. I would suggest that even if he were living the life of love and luxury he's clumsily trying to project, he'd probably be an arse too.

>>454994
Admittedly I only listened to their debut album, but The Fratellis were alright. It's just that Chelsea Dagger was played to death.

>>454991
I went out with my female friend whom I fancy enormously on Thursday night, and we went back to her flat to hang out as just friends, as we often do. At one point, she went for a piss and left the door open. She doesn't know that's my fetish. That was an exceptionally challenging moment for me. I doubted myself, but I managed not to wank over it and now I am brimming with confidence. I am brimming with several things, but confidence is one of them.

>>454992
I am arguably best friends with such a person. I don't like to consider us "best friends", because obviously I despise him, but we see each other unavoidably regularly. Try and make a virtue out of bravely opening up about your problems. Because your problems don't matter at all, they're not even problems, he has way worse problems, stop being a pussy, you'd literally kill yourself if you had his problems, he's the most brave and most virtuous. Nobody tackles the horrors of toxic masculinity like he does. You'll get to hear what his problems are this way, anyway.

>>454995
I hate Chelsea Dagger more than anything. It's everything that was bad about that type of indie music, and by extension all music from 2005-2010, because that's all I ever heard. I think The Fratellis might have made a song I didn't hate, but I can't remember what it was called. It started with S, I think.

>>454997

I've got a female friend who definitely has a bit of a piss fetish. I don't especially have one myself, I'd never like to be pissed on or anything like that, and to be honest I don't even really fancy her; but some day we're going to be drunk and watch each other have a wee, I can feel it. I think it will be a beautiful moment.

>>454998
>It started with S, I think.
I remember now; it was called "Flathead" (S for screwdriver, you see). But I listened to it again and it's not as good as I remember, if indeed I ever liked it.

>>454997
It was no accident.

The two lads on the football podcast I listen to use the phrase "in and around", e.g. "in and around the relegation zone", maybe 4 or 5 times in an episode. They are doing it in earnest, but that turn of phrase was made popular by the "she wants my dick in and around her mouth" line from Superbad, and I can't help but wonder whether that movie inadvertently planted "in and around" into everyday language. I'm 32 and if I casually dropped "in and around" into a sentence, all my similarly-aged friends would pick it up as a Superbad reference. The lads on the podcast are in their late 20s, and I'm certain they're making the same reference without it necessarily registering as such in their minds.

>>455011

I'm the same age as you and I had totally forgotten the movie Superbad ever existed. I think your theory might be stretching it a bit.

Then again I had been referencing The Butterfield Diet for over a decade without remembering what it was from, and that's far more obscure than Superbad. I would just say "Quiches Lorraine" in that voice every time I saw or heard of quiche. But then again, that was only me, not a national trend of people going "bonbonbonbons".

If I come into possession of a fridge where the plug has been cut off, does that mean anything? Like, is it a secret signal that means something, like a book with the cover torn off? Or can I just put a new plug on and own a free functioning fridge?

>>455013

Fridges often end up being boxed in by worktops and cupboards, such that there's no easy way to remove them without either cutting the plug off or partly dismantling the kitchen.

If a fridge has been thrown out then there's a reasonable chance that it's knackered, but the plug being cut off doesn't particularly mean anything.

>>455013
A lot of people think the binmen will only take electronic devices if the plug has been removed. I don't know why but I've heard it a few times.

>>455015
In them days electrical items tended not to come with a plug, so you'd either have to buy one yourself or cut it off the device you were replacing and wire it in.

Young 'uns these days probably wouldn't fully get the gag about the plug in the first three minutes of this.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4S9-vDow2d0

Our lass nicked a load of hair and skincare products from work and gave them to me. Today I made a diligent effort to use every single one of them in the shower. Teatree shampoo, conditioner, beard shampoo, after-shave lotion, leave-in scalp treatment and some special Moroccan oil (I gather it's like a grade up from argan oil.)

I somehow got a bit of shampoo in my arse crack when I was rinsing it out of my hair, and now it feels like Mr Freeze has his finger up my bumhole.

I was in a second hand bookshop earlier and this man came in with what I presume was his girlfriend and started taking photos of her. Staged ones of her pretending to browse the shelves or reading one of the books she had picked up. It was really odd.

>>455096
What was he using to take the photos? Just a phone or a professional camera? Could have been stock photo people or something if the latter?

>>455097
It was a camera rather than a phone, but didn't seem like an overly flashy one. She was wearing a beret and had a bit of a generic arty girl look; I didn't get the impression they were for stock photos.

>>455096
Instagram nonsense it seems.

This is your annual reminder I’d kill you both if I thought Motsi Mabusi would be so impressed she’d kiss me.

>>455100

She might be more impressed by you spelling her name right.

I'm really tired. Will one of you put my washing away, please?

>>455101
Oh, bugger. Well, it's not like I'd show her my posts.

I can't get Stupid Mistake by Gareth Gates out of my head. I'm not really sure why someone thought writing a song about trying to justify cheating was a good idea.

The pussy loves that Madley.

Earlier I saw kids helping themselves to coins out of a fountain. Is that a 'wrong' thing to do? It wasn't a wishing well, there didn't seem to be much money in it and "you shouldn't steal other people's wishes" seems like crazy reasoning when you think about it.

>>455107

It's technically theft by finding, but I'll never complain about kids engaging in what is basically urban scrumping. Gen Z are so neurotic and over-supervised that it cheers me to see them getting up to no good.

>>455108

Isn't it picking up litter?

>>455108
>theft by finding
I don't think this a thing in England. Might be in the US, etc.

>>455108
I always had a feeling that every now and then councils pull them all out and put them towards something charitable or something.

>>455110

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-stoke-staffordshire-39129975

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-13037808

>>455112

>"The rule on abandonment is not just getting rid of it," says Rob Chambers, who teaches property law at University College London. "One needs to intend to abandon it."
Surely those coins are intentionally abandoned?

>>455113

Most people have the implicit understanding that coins thrown into a fountain aren't there for the taking. We might not exactly know why, we might not agree on the answer, but we all know that it isn't the done thing. Some coin-throwers might expect their coin to stay in the fountain for luck, some might expect that the council will eventually collect the coins for charity or to pay for the upkeep of the fountain, but we don't expect people to just help themselves.

>>455105
There are several songs where women acknowledge that their man is cheating on them, but then sing that it's totally fine and not terrible at all. Upside Down by Diana Ross is a well-known one which I hate far too much to post here, so instead let's have this minor Swedish pop star from the 1980s making the same point:

Have fun identifying all the other songs from around the same time that it is suspiciously identical to. Hours of fun.

>>455115

The production is classic Hi-NRG in the manner of Ian Levine or SAW. The chorus was obviously pinched from You Give Love a Bad Name by Bon Jovi. The ascending line in the pre-chorus is very familiar but I can't quite place it and it's going to annoy me for days.

>>455116
I think it's Be With You by The Bangles (at 1:38):

>>455112
I still don't understand. I can't find what section of what Act they could possibly use.

>>455118

Theft Act 1968.

If I "find" a bicycle parked outside a train station, taking it is obviously theft. The same principle applies to anything else I might find, unless I can show that a) I reasonably believed that the owner would want me to have it or b) I make reasonable efforts to reunite the item with the rightful owner.

If someone leaves a bag of clothes outside a charity shop, it's reasonable for the charity shop to assume that the owner wanted to donate the clothes to the charity shop; it isn't reasonable for someone to assume that the clothes are there for anyone to take. Anyone taking that bag would be dishonestly appropriating property belonging to another with the intent of permanently depriving the other of it, which is the definition of theft.

You might be able to persuade a magistrate or a jury that taking coins out of a fountain isn't dishonest, but I wouldn't want to try it. If the council removed the coins from the fountain to stop the pump from getting blocked, they'd be acting honestly - the intent of their action was to protect their property, not to materially benefit.

>>455119
>the intent of their action was to protect their property, not to materially benefit
Those mean the same thing.

>>455118
That's because you don't regard taking a dropped bank note as dishonest. Or in other words, you're little better than a thief yourself.

Takeaway actually sent Coke when I ordered Coke for a change, but inspecting the label, it's... Ukranian.

Not sure if they're profiteering on Ukraine's turmoil to get cheap Coke, supporting Ukraine's economy by buying up surplus Coke, or if it's just always been where they get it and the reason they sent me Pepsi the last few times is because the Russians bombed their delivery.

I can't beleive no one told me about Nitzer Ebb when I was 15. Do you know how much more annoying I could have been if I'd been listening to Nitzer Ebb at that age? My PE teacher would have clocked me in the jaw.

>>455211

I hadn't heard of them until you mentioned them, but I could totally imagine my teenage self listening to that on my walkman on the top deck of the 10C before kicking someone's bins over. I might have even written out their lyrics on the back cover of my geography exercise book.

It's nearly time for someone to post him. I'm trying to fight it, but I can hear him in my head. Any day now.

>>455214

Calm yourself lad, it's still November.

>>455215
Talk about it in the present tense...

>>455216
It's a bit early for presents, surely?

I put Kerrang! Radio on whilst I was cleaning to see what the kids are listening to these days. Turns out it's shit.

I don't like this time of year - everything feels dark.

Can't wait for January.

>>455227
It certainly feels a bit early in the year for it to already be dark long before 5pm.

>>455228

Winter Solstice is approximately 21st Dec, I'm shit at maffs and Druid stuff though, but maybe it feels weird because it may also be unseasonably warm over there in Beeston.

>>455229
Yeah, only 4 weeks to go until it starts getting lighter again - for some reason I think November is the most difficult month though.

>>455228

I had the lights on by 2 this afternoon fuxache. That can't be right even for this time of year.

It is horribly depressing though. I used to like the winter months, but I had a really good summer this year so it feels like much more of a brutal adjustment.

I'm making leek and potato soup but my leeks don't seem very... leeky. They should still be in season so I'm chalking this up to Lidl being Lidl.

>>455232

I don't understand the point of leeks, just use 2-3 times the amount of spring onions and end up with something nicer that doesn't involve squares of green boot leather. This is like forcing yourself to use powdered egg in your recipes. ...hang on...

Fucking hell, I'm bored.

>>455234
They need to make mindless Sunday afternoon telly like Scrapheap Challenge again.

>>455234
The final of the snooker UK Championships is on, and Ding Junhui, the charming and lovable Chinese player who has always underperformed, is in the final. Cheer for him! Or alternatively, World Cup coverage starts in an hour. I think there is also a Grand Prix on, but even I have some standards.

Why are immigrants from post-colonial Africa always so Christian but basically none of the Indians are?

>>455237
How many African religions can you name? I probably know less about traditional African religions than the likes of Incans, Mayans, Aztecs, Native Americans. Apart from Ancient Egypt, obviously.

>>455237
This is definitely a brief and easy topic that doesn't require it's own thread.

>>455239

It isn't massively complicated, as it happens. India was much more economically important to the British Empire than any of the African colonies. British colonies in Africa were largely ruled through military domination on a relatively low budget, with an essentially speculative attitude that placed a fairly low value on the loss of those colonies as a productive asset. Religious conversion was seen as a valid and useful tool in gaining a foothold of control in Africa.

India had more developed religious institutions, but there was also far greater sensitivity towards local religious concerns following the rebellion of 1857. India was essential to the empire, it had to be retained under British rule at all costs and the maintenance of that rule was to a certain extent a collaborative effort between the Raj and local rulers. While there was some missionary activity in India, it wasn't supported or encouraged by the Raj and was broadly seen as being a nuisance.

Arguably, the British also benefited from divide-and-rule tactics by exploiting long-standing tensions between eskimos and Hindus. There was undoubtedly a certain degree of mutual protection between the Raj and minorities like the Sikhs, Pashtuns and Nepalis, who joined the British Indian Army in huge numbers.

>>455238

I don't see what relevance that is.

>>455245

That makes sense, thanks.

Got the Lurgy again. Fuck's sake.

>>455276
It does seem to be on the rise again.

Christmas Lockdown lads.

Do any of you techno-geniuses know how to fix an inexplicably rusted TV aerial cable? I assumed the answer to any problem was to cut the end off and reattach the coaxial twisty metal thing a little further down, but I think the end is rusted solid so I can't take it off. Can you buy a new end?

>>455314
Yes you can - Amazon sell them as "TV Aerial Coax Connector" - they're a couple of pounds.

I've ordered a grocery delivery to come between 7 and 8 tomorrow morning. I am regretting my choice.

>>455318

That's usually when I get mine, because no other fucker is mad enough to be up at that time on a sunday to hulk a load of shopping. ...or so I thought!

Catching up with Taskmaster. I don't know why, but I get the impression that Fern Brady is quite into fisting. Giving and receiving.

Moved house today. Obviously it was horrible and stressful. We got the self setup Virgin Media router, which was my job to sort out. Spent literally an hour trying to find a room with both an ethernet port and a cable port. The rooms had one, or the other, but not both. I'm thinking I'll need to trails wires all over. Managed to plug in the aerial type cable, then I spent half an hour trying to get the included ethernet cable into the telephone port. Then I read the instructions and it doesn't need connecting to the telephone port just the aerial cable thing, also a telephone port does not fit an ethernet cable, so I wasted so much time and spent so much energy shifting furniture and boxes about, because I'm basically a fuckwit.

>>455321
I'm the other poster who just moved, and I've had similar difficulties. My computer used to be plugged into the router, so it never used Wi-Fi. Now that I'm here, the router is on the other side of the room and I now discover that my PC seemingly doesn't even have wireless capabilities. It is very old, but I am outraged that I need to have a cable across the room like a bloody garotte every time I want to come here and debate whether Keir Starmer is better than the Just Stop Oil people. It's a fucking disgrace.

My speakers are also acting up and I don't know why.

>>455322
>I am outraged that I need to have a cable across the room
Just put some tape or a floor mat over it.

>>455323

You need to sort your fucking life out mate.

>>455322
>I am outraged that I need to have a cable across the room

That's nothing, mine runs across the garden.

>>455325
I have cat5 running through my pond, rather than burying it properly to get to the shed.

Do I have the "stop wanking in the shower" conversation with my son or not? I really don't want to, but he keeps taking around an hour in there.

>>455326
I don't think Ethernet cables need water cooling m7.

>>455327
Just tell him you're running out of hot water.

>>455327

Just bang on the door after ten minutes and tell him that you're busting for a shit. If he can keep wanking through a conversation about his dad's bowels, take him to see a psychiatrist ASAP.

>>455327
He might just be a weirdo who likes standing in there for the sake of it, like I was. Sorry.

>>455331

I take longer showers than I mean to just because I can't be arsed getting out. I should probably put the smartmeter in there to motivate me.

There should have been a "bush tucker trial" where someone found out what the biggest rock they could drop onto Matt Hancock's skull from a height of five metres was.

>>455333
Why? I think that's a completely unreasonable position to take.

It would be better to focus on those who profited on the PPE debacle.

>>455334
Are you pulling my leg? He took elderly COVID-19 patients out of hospitals and put them into care homes, which he knew full well would be unable to adequately quarentine and care for them, resulting in massive outbreaks in said care homes, and therefore deaths, that were entirely avoidable.

And do you not think the then Health Secretary would have been somehow involved in the PPE corruption that was ongoing at the time? Come on, wise up a little.

>>455334
>It would be better to focus on those who profited on the PPE debacle.
Such as, say, Matt Hancock?

>>455335
I meant "quarantine", obviously.

>>455335

Is it a hot take to argue that Matt Hancock is stupid and overconfident rather than malicious? I'm not saying this to excuse him, but I genuinely think that he was doing his best. From what I've heard about the state of Downing Street at the time, I think he was just flying by the seat of his pants and genuinely didn't foresee the consequences of emptying the hospitals until it was far too late. Likewise with Truss and Kwarteng - I don't think they were engaged in some plot to trash the British economy, I just think they were too dense to realise that Sunak actually knew what he was talking about.

The only remarkable thing about Hancock's time on I'm A Celebrity... is how unremarkable he is. If you went into a Carphone Warehouse and the assistant manager was Ken Clarke or Rory Stewart, you'd wonder what the hell they were doing there and whether it was some kind of prank. If the assistant manager was Matt Hancock, you'd double check that he put you on the right tariff. That's the tragedy of British politics at the moment - we've developed a system that filters out anyone with an ounce of talent.

>>455338
>Is it a hot take to argue that Matt Hancock is stupid and overconfident rather than malicious?

That's my view too - I'm not convinced it would have been much different had Labour been in charge - we would just have a new set of villains in charge.

>>455338
>>455339

I broadly agree- But only broadly. You say you're not excusing him but you certainly let him off lightly.

I'm not going to say Hancock, or most other Tories, are actually James Bond illuminati super-villains, but they are certainly driven to make decisions based on their ideology as much as incompetence. There's the basic culpability of knowing they're fucking it all right up, but carrying on regardless, because they're committed to following the doctrine.

Incompetence is one thing when the people in question are fundamentally good natured and want to do the right thing, and keep getting it wrong; but that's not the case with this lot. They're fundamentally corrupt crooks, and then they still cock everything up on top of that.

>>455341

I don't think they're competent enough for their ideology to matter very much.

Priti Patel got a load of shit from the back benches because she couldn't reduce immigration. When the war in Ukraine kicked off, she got a lot of shit because she wasn't bringing over enough Ukrainians. Now we've got Suella Braverman who is even more rabidly anti-immigration and we've got record high immigration.

The conclusion I draw is that the Home Secretary simply doesn't exert enough control over the Home Office to deliver any meaningful outcomes. How many people we do or don't let in is mostly dictated by external factors and a sclerotic bureaucracy that is completely opaque to the people who are ostensibly in charge. Big organisations are inherently complex and innately resistant to change, but our current crop of politicians really don't have the intellect to understand and influence that complexity. Suella Braverman can issue all manner of hollow edicts, but she's basically like a toddler on the top deck pretending to drive the bus.

To address >>455339's point, I think that things might have been marginally different if Jon Ashworth was in charge, but Wes Streeting has all the authority of a newly qualified teacher in a rough school. His demeanour is perpetually flustered even in opposition and I think he'd collapse under the pressure of actual responsibility.

>>455342
I really liked this book by Isabel Hardman that attempts to explain just why we get the wrong politicians.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Why-We-Get-Wrong-Politicians/dp/1782399755

The Home Office is a different problem I believe - the scope of its work is just too wide; it's ripe to be cut up into pieces, only then, perhaps, could it be effective.

>>455336
I think Michelle Mone is bang to rights and probably should be in prison. There will be others.

I can't believe Hancock was clever or stupid enough to directly profit on PPE, though he obviously had some hand influencing matters (and was too busy having an affair).

>>455342
>>455343

I would imagine the issue with something as monolithic as the home office is that what it does is basically too important to let politics interfere. Regardless what people think it is there for or should be should be there for, really it's just run by the civil servants who just keep everything ticking over with as little disturbance from the politicians as possible.

>>455342
It's interesting that you went with the toddler analogy, because that's what I would have used for Matt Hancock. He's undeniably hopeless, but he's so worthless that there's an element of sympathy there. If a toddler was Health Secretary, and got confused, and accidentally killed thousands of people and started crying and just wanted to go home, I would feel sorry for it, despite the deaths. My anger would be directed towards whoever put the infant in charge. The anger still needs to be expressed, but it doesn't feel right to express it towards a perpetrator I respect so little that I don't think they even understand what they did.

>>455344
>I can't believe Hancock was [...] stupid enough to directly profit on PPE
He went on I'm a Celebrity. He's easily stupid enough.

>>455353
Seems to have worked for him though - he's also on that Celebrity SAS programme too in a couple of weeks - it's already been recorded and there are rumours that he wins that show.

>>455355
He came third because people kept voting to keep him in. In the final three, he came in third.

>>455353>>455357
The people who kept picking on him, like Boy George and whatsherface from Loose Women, were amongst the first ones to go. If you read any online comments whilst it was airing you'd see there were a lot of people prepared to give him a chance because everyone's made mistakes in their life. Nobody's perfect.

You've also got to remember that millions of people are extremely happy that the government paid for them to receive at least 80% of their wages to not do any work for up to 18 months. Unless you're an autist you should be able to grasp that people don't share the same view on everything.

If Hancock did get paid £400k to appear on I'm A Celeb then he's laughing all the way to the bank.

It's Friday so that counts as the weekend.

Anyway I am starting to suspect my ISP throttles speeds on Friday evenings in particular, I have been trying to play Call of Duty and I've noticed Friday nights it's just a godawful shit-show of lag between 5pm-2am.

I mean that could be just because that's when the most people are playing CoD and their servers are shite, but I don't see many other people reporting the issue. My downloads seem to be fine otherwise, I have a feeling it's just P2P or whatever specifically.

Any of you network braniacs have any clue what it could be?

>>455436
It's almost certainly some kind of bottleneck, but also, I have noticed that around midnight in particular, my Internet often goes bad for a bit. This isn't necessarily Friday, though; it happens throughout the week. Who's your ISP?

>>455437

BT, though I don't have a lot of choice about it because it's part and parcel of the place I'm living.

Back in the days I remember having to do some sort of forwarding or something on the router to make sure games and torrents etc went through unfiltered. I wondered if that's still a thing now.

>>455436

>Any of you network braniacs have any clue what it could be?

Consumer-grade internet connections are underprovisioned by design - the infrastructure is sized based on the assumption that most connections will be idle most of the time. If you happen to be in an area where the infrastructure is heavily loaded, you're likely to experience problems with slow speeds and high latency at peak times. You might have better luck with a different ISP.

Leased lines offer guaranteed performance and reliability, but at a price around 10x higher than a bog-standard connection.

>>455437

Reboots or switchovers of network infrastructure will be scheduled for off-peak hours to minimise disruption. The default is usually midnight which tends to suit business users, but that can be a nuisance for consumers.

>>455438

>Back in the days I remember having to do some sort of forwarding or something on the router to make sure games and torrents etc went through unfiltered. I wondered if that's still a thing now.

You're vaguely remembering something called "port forwarding". It's now almost always unnecessary thanks to hole punching and STUN; networking applications have got much better at negotiating around firewalls and network address translation.

>>455440

Fair enough, it's just weird that I can still download stuff on Steam or stream a video at HD resolutions just fine, speeds of a pretty stable 5-6mbs, but as soon as I play the game I'm seeing my latency just constantly jump up from 30 to 300 every two seconds. People teleporting about the place like it used to be playing the original Call of Duty over dial up.

>>455441

Latency is more difficult than throughput. A video stream has a buffer of several seconds in the application layer, precisely so that it works over a slightly unreliable connection. It doesn't matter very much if the network packets come through in fits and starts, so long as they come through reliably enough to stop that buffer from being exhausted.

With a multiplayer game, a late network packet is practically useless - unless the vast majority of packets arrive in a timely manner, you're going to get lag. Buffering doesn't help here and is often the cause of problems. If your connection is routed via a switch that is at close to maximum capacity, you won't notice if a few download packets get stuck in a buffer on that switch for half a second, but you will notice if those are game packets being delayed.

It's worth checking to see if you still have problems when connected to your router via ethernet, as wifi is invariably the least reliable part of any connection. You can get interference issues if your neighbours are on adjacent channels that might only be noticed if they're heavily loading their connection.

>>455442

That makes sense, cheers.

Sadly wifi will be my only choice without trailing a cable all the way down the stairs, so I'll just have to put up with it until I move I suppose.

Been watching Outsiders on Dave. Fatiha El-Ghorri's personality leaves me cold, but she is incredibly fuckable.

>>455444
HomePlugs route ethernet over your home power network through some arcane black magic. I've sti not found an explanation that's in any technical detail.

>>455447
That black magic dates back to at least the 70s. It "just" subtly wobbles the frequency of the AC on a circuit to create a signal and while your kettle doesn't care if it varies a tiny bit these devices pick it up. Hi-fi nerds hate you for it, apparently, and are likely to murmur about ground hum. And if you're not on the same ring you may run into trouble. But on the whole it works rather well given that everything either doesn't care or has a very tolerant PSU.

>>455448
> Hi-fi nerds hate you for it, apparently, and are likely to murmur about ground hum

And don't even think about shortwave or amateur radio.

My radiators in my new house are a bit wimpy, and one is cold in the middle while the rest heats up, so I decided to bleed my radiators for the first time ever. The one that's cold in the middle let no air out at all, just instantly releasing black sludge into the towel, so that's worrying. I thought I would test the radiators by bleeding another one, and that let out nothing but air. No water at any point; just a gurgling whistle until I gave up and closed it again. I hope I haven't just destroyed my heating.

>>455450
Getting rid of the sludge will do a world of good.

>>455450
>just a gurgling whistle until I gave up and closed it again

I find in my house I have to go round them all a couple of times to do it right - its a satisfying job when done because it quickly has a big effect on how warm the room/house is.

>>455450

If you've got a combi boiler, bleeding your radiators will reduce the water pressure in the circuit. If there's a lot of air, you might need to re-pressurise the circuit a couple of times to force the air out and get the system working properly. The pressure gauge on your boiler should read 1 to 1.5 bar with the heating off, up to about 2 bar with the heating on.

Re-pressuring your boiler is piss easy, but the procedure is slightly different on every boiler, so I'd strongly suggest either digging out your manual or looking for a copy online. There's usually a lever on the bottom of the boiler which might be hidden under a cover. Older boilers might have a separate filling loop with a pair of taps plumbed in near the boiler.

>>455453
My boiler doesn't have a pressure gauge on it, but I have tried switching the heating on again now and the radiators still come on, so I haven't broken them. From looking online, it seems like >>455451 is right, but "getting rid of the sludge" is very difficult and you can't do it yourself. I think I'm going to need to pay a man.

After last night's escapades I can safely say I am not into scat. Not for me.

>>455458
Guess you guys aren't ready for that yet, but your kids are gonna' love it.

https://twitter.com/Rubberbandits/status/1353832331350585345

It never occured to me as a teenager how completely fucking insane Jez being invited with Mark to meet Sophie's parents is.

>>455460

Sophie's mum wanted a portion and knew where to get it. Nowt wrong with that.

>>455461
One of my favourite sequences in Peep Show.

>>455459
>Elf on the Shelf is a tool of surveillance capitalism
I expected 'The Blind Boy' podcast to be pretty entertaining, but 4 minutes in i'm not really getting it. kind of like Limmy's twitch.

>>455467
Alright, I'm getting it. This is actually pretty good.

>>455467
How did you manage that?

>>455470
Manage what, to find it?
>https://twitter.com/Rubberbandits/status/1353832331350585345
>funny enough clip at top of first link
>hit 'The Blindboy Podcast' to go to the twitter profile
>find 'linktr.ee/Blindboyboatcl...' knowing 'linktree' is a service used by content creators to link their various profiles
>click 'podcast'
>etc

Once the podcast topic came to the titled content, it got pretty interesting. About 30 minutes in now, finding it harder to follow.

>>455471
Nah, quote a post from the Christmas thread (>>455428) whilst replying to a post in this thread.

>>455472
Oh, right. I guess there's a common conciousness ongoing. The same topic has occured here (atleast a link to it) and there.

>>455473

Blindboy is an autistic man who wears a bag on his head and writes improvised music based on Red Dead Redemption 2, it's a statistical inevitability that at least 2/3 of us would listen to him.

>>455474
What does that even mean, man? Can't people just be eccentric anymore? Can't we just be human?

>>455475
We can and are. But Blindboy is specifically an autistic human, at least according to his own Twitter bio.

>>455458

So what happened?

Scat is pretty much the one thing I'm fairly sure I will never be into, and have no worries that it will ever cross my mind. But I am becoming alarmingly open minded as I age, like I just need new kinks to keep things fresh.

At 20 I'd never even have considered watersports. By this point watching a lass piss is my main turn on.

>>455477
It wasn't something that was pre-planned. One of the easiest ways to gauge whether my girlfriend is up for a shag is to start massaging her arsehole with my fingers; sometimes she'll press her arse against them so they go all the way in, which is a massive turn on for me but I digress. Anyway, I've been fingering her arsehole for a while and I can feel shit inside her. I don't know what came over me but I decided to coax some of it out and smear it against her arsehole. I rimmed her for a while, until she asked me to shove three fingers up her arse, so I've got three fingers up her back passage basically mashing the shit I was poking earlier with one hand whilst I rub her clit with the other and she had an intensely guttural orgasm. When I take my hand out afterwards I can feel there's a nugget of shit on my hands, so I decide to eat it. I'd describe the taste as texture as 'wheaty'. I should add that this all happened in the dark but there was no actual smell of taste of shit during this part; I dunno if me manually extracting the shit rather than her propelling it out with a bit of gas made all the difference here. Anyway, I turn the light on to shag her because I don't fancy poking around in the dark when I know there's a mess down there and I wasn't fully hard so I knew I could do with a bit of guidance. I end up fucking her doggy style whilst she's there in front of me with a shitty arse and one of my hands is covered in shit. The sex wasn't that great because I never fully got hard but I was determined to finish the job. Fortunately there was no smell even with the lights on. As soon as I came the dawning realisation of what we'd done struck me. It was the harshest post nut clarity I have ever had in my life. I had to wash my hands half a dozen times and have a shower before the smell of shit fully went away from my hands but when I looked in the bathroom mirror there was some on my cheeks so I'm paranoid that my face stinks or I've missed some of it. It took me well over an hour to go to sleep afters because, well, I've ingested my girlfriend's poo. I spent a long time battling the bile that I could feel in my throat, but my mind was made up not to throw up because I don't think I could live with myself if I looked at my sick and saw there was poo in it. Never, never again.

>>455481

Good heavens. Started off well and very quickly turned horrific. At least now you know lad.

I once fingered my ex's arsehole and pulled out a lump of very slimy shit by accident, it was just sort of stuck to my finger like a slug. I distinctly remember I found rimming a bit weird and disgusting before her, but one time she was bent over in front of me and I just had the irresistible urge to tongue her arse. God I miss her arse sometimes. Anyway, she was clearly deathly embarrassed, and it was broad daylight so there was no hiding it, but I just said "Let's both pretend like that didn't happen and never speak of it again." and moved on. Worked quite well.

I'm very desensitised to bodily fluids due to my line of work though. I can't be disgusted by it, but neither can I really be aroused by it (the act of pissing is just arousing because of the taboo breaking and intimacy).

Found an old SD card behind a cupboard after spending fucking ages looking for it, at least a year, and it annoyed the fuck out of me that it had completely disappeared off the face of the Earth.

It just has some music on it, but the point is that my old sat nav radio in my car only takes 4GB standard SD cards, no SDHC or SDXC, and those standard SD cards are increasingly hard to find on eBay and can cost you close to ten quid. I remember them being not even £5 at some point when you could still get them in shops.

I even asked for one in Currys, but the teenlad shop assistant apparently didn't even know that there used to be standard SD cards. He kept trying to sell me a 4GB SDHC card, and it seemed inconceivable to him that my sat nav would be incompatible with it.

>>455483
>in Currys
There's your problem. I don't go in there that often, but when I do, I get the feeling nobody knows any more than the Tesco employee who stacks the same shelves there. Also, they have those adverts on TV where "our experts will help find the right TV for you" and they're always shilling OLED TVs in the advert, even though OLEDs, organic LEDs, are crap because the organic bits die after a couple of years and you need to buy a new TV. I will never trust anyone who sells TVs for a living and tells me I want an OLED TV.

>>455484

It's annoying because OLEDs are, otherwise, the perfect technology for flatscreens.

It can't be that hard to find something that does the same thing without the inherent lifespan problems, surely.

>>455484

> I get the feeling nobody knows any more than the Tesco employee who stacks the same shelves there

They seem to have a tendency of hiring lads who think they know a lot more about tech than they actually do. Which probably doesn't do much harm as long as they've got tech illiterate customers, but as soon as you need something very specific that you already know a good bit about, it's easy to catch them out.

Bought a graphics card off ebay a couple of weeks ago, but the lad used Hermes/Evri for delivery, and inevitably the package was flagged as damaged, then they told him it was missing, then according to the tracking it has been sat in a depot since the 28th. Apparently their customer service is awful and they have basically been ignoring him. Anyway I requested a refund today and it was accepted almost immediately. I feel bad for the lad, but then again he did use Evri.

I hope the thing arrives at some point so I can ship it back, but honestly I'm glad it went missing after it was initially flagged as 'damaged' - it would probably have died on me with zero recourse sooner or later.

>>455487

I had a seller (small business so hopefully it didn't hurt them too much) with much the same story. Ordered item, it got sent with Evri, it just sort of vanished (god knows what you could do with a package of, essentially, large cubes of wood) and he had to send out a second one.

Think I'll take the postal strikes over that shitshow.

>>455488

For a business, it's a fairly straightforward economic calculation. "Free" delivery isn't free, so for low-value consignments it's often worth accepting a certain level of loss. Even with a reliable courier, you'll still see a relatively high level of shrinkage due to fraud. It's just a cost of doing business.

Truth be told I think staying up to watch Dune was a mistake. Incredible sense of humour from whoever it was at Film4 that decided to wrap up their David Lynch mini-season with it though. I don't know what I'd think if my first exposure his films had gone Mulholland Drive, Blue Velvet and then this nonsense

>>455547

There's a well known fan-edit that is quite good, I'd highly recommend watching that if you want something more coherent, plot-wise. It's broken up into distinct acts and is a bit easier to make sense of. I think some of the character narration is removed, as well.

Some of the effects are very poor, but most have a lot of creative flair and pleasantly bizarre elements, like the pictured.

I'm aware on an objective level that the newer, slicker version of Dune is probably better, but watching it I found it charmless and bleak, and I think this is largely down to the script. In the original, the characters have a heightened, fantasy-genre emotional earnestness about them, it's very "space opera". The newer version takes such pains to portray every one of its characters as a cynical, snarky, mean, unfeeling arsehole that I just didn't like any of them. Contrast the dinner scenes between the protagonist and his mother in both films and you'll see what I mean.

How safe and/or legal is it to do your own repairs on your central heating system?

There's a broken water pressure gauge on the filling valve where you top up water into the system. It is located somewhere next to the furnace in the basement. I called someone and they said they normally replace the entire filling unit that the gauge sits on top of, and it would cost around £500 including parts and labour. Let alone that they wouldn't be able to do it before about mid-January.

The gauge itself can be had for around £30 over the Internet. It seems to me like all I'd have to do would be to shut off whatever valves are in front of and behind the filling unit so that there is no pressure in that part of the system, and then unscrew the pressure gauge and put the new one in.

There's a digital system pressure readout on the furnace's control panel display, so even without that analog pressure gauge on the filler, you always have a way of knowing what the current pressure is. It's probably best to replace that broken pressure gauge, but I'm not sure it's worth 500 quid to me.

>>455552
> How safe and/or legal is it to do your own repairs on your central heating system?

Are you renting? If not and you have the lease hold you can do almost whatever you like when it comes to the leccy or gas. Make sure you thoroughly understand the task ahead and then go ahead and touch anything that's past the meter. Just bear in mind that gas can blow up your house, if you have a mate that knows his stuff get them to do it. £500 or not, this is explosive air that you can barely smell to heat your home and water. It smarts, but get it done right.

>>455553

I'm a homeowner. I wouldn't have to mess with the gas side at all, this would only affect the water circuit(s).

I just opened the valve unit for a bit and it seems to work fine, the furnace's digital display gradually climbed from 1.4 to 1.6 bar water pressure, which is bang in the middle of the 1.4 to 1.8 that the user guide recommends for the heating circuit. So it appears that it's really only the analog water pressure gauge that's gone bad.

The HVAC specialist I called tried to tell me something that by the time that gauge goes, the rest of the filling unit is usually ready to replace anyway. I called them back and told them I saw the exact gauge on its own for 30 quid online. But they only said that normally it comes as a package, that those gauges aren't meant to be sold separately, and that they can't vouch for the origin of those parts.

Seemed like a bit of a brazen money grab.

>>455553

>If not and you have the lease hold you can do almost whatever you like when it comes to the leccy or gas.

This isn't true. I don't know about gas, but Part P of the Building Regulations requires electrical work to be signed
off by a competent person. Installing a new circuit requires a notification to be made to the local authority by someone who is officially registered. There's a maximum fine of £5,000, but you're unlikely to be caught; the more pressing problem is that unauthorised work will invalidate your home insurance.

>>455555

I installed two new surface mount mains outlets plus around 20 feet of surface mount wiring in the garage two years ago. I looked up the relevant regulations beforehand and then installed everything accordingly. I doubt anybody will ever notice. And I also doubt there will ever be a problem.

>>455556

I always wonder, who exactly is going around enforcing this stuff? Surely it's more to do with commercial homebuilders than DIY stuff.

Or is it something that an eagle eyed solicitor will spot and cause your sale to fall through in twenty year's time?

>>455557

If electrical installations were carried out to applicable standards by you as a layperson, then very likely not. And in the absence of that, they will not have a case, even if something was done by somebody who wasn't formally qualified.

Also, if somebody asks me in 20 years who did my additional wiring in the garage 22 years ago, what's to stop me from saying that some electrician did it who's either long dead or out of business now. Or I'll just say I completely forgot what they were even called.

I bought a tin of mustard powder. Apart from using it when making cheese scones/straws what am I supposed to do with it?

>>455564
Add it to stews or use a bit to season a roast. It's quite versatile.

This isn't healthy is it? I can't afford to heat the place and the broken roof is causing so much black mould.

>>455566
Temperature is OK, but humidity is no bueno. Get a dehumidifier
(dessicant drum, not a peltier), they eat about 300-600W but good news is that's basically expelled as heat so double action.

>>455566
Same temp as my bathroom, where the radiator doesn't work properly. Thankfully I can close 2 doors between the bathroom and living room, but it's still pretty cold in here. 3 pairs of socks today, plus longjohns and a coat.
I'm usually fairly autistic regarding heating, come seasons change, so this isn't exactly unusual, but it still sucks.

I've actually found myself warmer when out walking. Obvious really that if you're sat indoors you're not gonna generate any body heat.

>>455566
Martin Lewis says running a dehumidifier costs 7p an hour, if that helps.

>>455573

And you can use the condensate to water your plants.

If you still have any indoor plants that don't mind 9°C.

>>455573

How long before people are visiting Martin Lewis to offer him gifts of turnips and asking him to bless their first-born child and shit? There would probably be people carrying him around on a platform like Xerxes in that film, and he would travel the impoverished towns of the country dispensing sage money saving wisdom.

>>455566
I bought one of those things recently, and then realised I had no idea what number humidity should actually be. It starts to get bad at 70%, so you are only just in the danger zone. I feel for everyone here who thinks 9.7 degrees is okay; the usual recommendation is a minimum of 16 degrees. Obviously you can go below that, but I'm one of the house-buying posters here and a couple of my radiators are fucked and I get pretty upset when it's colder than 12 degrees. I came home to 9.8 on Thursday, and immediately switched on the gas fire that I had previously not trusted, because I was willing to risk domestic armageddon to get back up to 14-15 as soon as motherfucking possible.

>>455584
Around 60% is good. More than that and it's mould time, less than and your skin starts to suffer. The precise value depends on what kind of building you live in, 1850s red brick has different requirements from 2010s insulated for example.

Purely music-focused game shows are so strange. The Hit List on the BBC always feels strange, because every contestant is so superhumanly brilliant at it that they identify every song instantly and I barely get to play along, but at least the celebrity episodes are fun because the celebrities are shit. I've just seen another very similar programme called That's My Jam, and that was a celebrity one and I was hopeless at it. I love music rounds in pub quizzes because I do consider myself pretty good at them, so if I couldn't do it, there will surely be a lot of people with absolutely no hope at all. If there is ever a non-celebrity version, it will be unwatchable because the musical Rain Men who enter these things will saunter through it while the viewers just give up.

In other news, all you freezing povvos need to get yourselves a £4 snood from your local B&M Bargains. I bought one a couple of days ago and it really has been miraculous. I'm reluctant to wear it outside, but until my heating is fixed, it's becoming a fixture around my cold neck.