Philomena Cunk spotted

>>468187
The glamourous assistant is fat n all. 🤢

This is just exactly the same plot as Wrong Trousers isn't it.

Sick of that twat Wallace. It's just one fuck up after another with him, and Gromit has to go through hell to bail his arse out every time.

>>468193

Proper fucking div inn 'e. Same fert copper. Young brown lass ont ball entire time but none er it mattered because the plot was ultimately resolved by a deus ex machina arse pull anyway. Why is everything so shite nowadays.

Reckon I'm a bit pissed anyway. Might have a nap.

>>468192
Wallace & Gromit has lost its soul in the modern age, and this new one was all about things losing their soul in the modern age. In my opinion, that made it brilliant. They'll never recapture the magic of The Wrong Trousers, but this one was easily as good as any of the others.

Where do Wallace and Gromit live, anyway? I always assumed South Yorkshire but they seem to have been placed in Lancashire for this one.

>>468195

It's always been set in some vaguely Lancashire-ish town, but one of those right on the border with Yorkshire. It's one of those where if you drove for 20 minutes you'd be in Hudderssfield, like Diggle or Bacup or summat. Wallace has a distinctly West Yorkshire accent, but all the other characters sound like they are from Bolton or Blackburn.

>>468190

Nicola Coughlan is an 11/10 hottie and if you think otherwise you're in the wrong place.

>>468195>>468197
Wigan.

>>468198
Mate she's not. They showed an actual fit woman during the ending montage, think she was on the phone or something.

You're not on /x/ mate, the chubby chasers are outnumbered here.

And come on, it's just because she's fat and confident isn't it? I'd she wasn't fat you wouldn't care.

I'm very much not one of the Rubenesque romancers and I think Nicola Coughland is actually dead fit. She seems like a laugh and her tits are amazing, if you need anything else you're a lost soul.

>>468201
She looks like a chubby child, I honestly couldn't. I can't imagine a less flattering image, surely she's capable of looking like an adult?

>>468202
I'm glad I wasn't the only one thinking this, only without the child imagery.

Yeah I partly say that because I still would and my type probably means I'm doomed to women under 5'4 but short women are a little off-putting for me. As a tall bloke you notice that short lasses do start to prey on you too. I'm sure you've all seen enough lanky blokes with short and plump partners.

>>468201
She got her wabs out in Doctor Who?

>>468204
I think it's because she reminds me of my first girlfriend, who wasn't chubby but was a child. As was I, officer, but there's something like...weirdly formless. I know I saw some great tits at that age and they were more mature than these.

She's 37. Angela Rayner became a grandmother at 37. I know that we're all more sensitive about carpet-bagging these days, but surely 37 isn't a grey area yet, even for short chubby lasses with good skin.

I feel like some of you have no appreciation for the whole of a woman. You'd wank to a plank of wood if it had good tits or a pot belly.

>>468208
On the contrary, we're all big fans of their wholes.

I just found out that gingerbread gives me heartburn.

Does Boxing day and the entire run up to New year still class as Christmas?

>>468211

>>468211
Today is the last day I will wear my Christmas jumper. But it's still the wider Christmas period, much like the 15th of December is.

Can any of you open Brazil nuts with your hands? Two hands and two nuts are allowed.

>>468211
I think yeah as a lot of people take the working days off between Christmas and New Year as a block and nobody is really working hard until the second-week of January.

We're now in that time of Christmas where you finish off the sweet tins, eat türkiye sandwiches and consider boxing day sales.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ve-odNt7BLU

>>468216
My ad-blocker must be broken, all I can see is an advert for pot noodle, there's no content.

Matilda the Musical is on BBC One right now. I don't mind that I really hate it, but I looked it up on Wikipedia and apparently the critical reception was overwhelmingly positive. This makes me angry, because how can so-called experts be so wrong? The moralising is so heavy-handed, the characters are so two-dimensional, the singing children are so high-pitched, the songs are all by Tim Minchin who's overrated and shit, and it also has Sindhu Vee in it who is even worse. And when did they pass a law that all films made in the UK need to have Emma Thompson in? It's just weird. What kompromat does she have access to?

>>468218
I don't mind it. It's probably a more faithful adaptation of the book than the version with Mara Wilson and Danny DeVito.

Then again, people hate the Oompa Loompa songs from the Johnny Depp version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, even though they're the actual lyrics in the book, because they're different from the original film.

>>468218

>What kompromat does she have access to?

I think she just sucked a lot of important knobs.

I'm glad Christmas is over. Never cared much for it.

That Wallace and Gromit was a bit disapointing, wasn't it? Granted I stopped paying attention about half way through, but there was simply too much exposition. 3 times within the first 5 minutes Wallace mentions his love for inventing, as if we don't know who the fuck he is? Compared to The Wrong Trousers and the moon one shown earlier in the day, which explain nothing but show everything, it was almost patronising. The new one had the same comedy beat but with a whole lot of faff between, not limited to the numerous excess characters and world built beyond necessary for the story.

A genuinely enjoyable moment however was the reveal of the motorbike and sidecar - I actually felt good, with a great bit grin of appreciation.

>>467743
The Magic Eye books went down okay, other than one of the young nephews being scared of his (He seems to have some fear of eyes? The Wallace and Grommit gnome shit him up). Mum might have performed her interest, but it was appreciated regardless.

To 'prove' they weren't secretly for me, I made a point of not looking at them before wrapping. A recpit fell out of one, revealing they all cost less than a fiver. Was well embarrassed.

>>468219
People hate the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory songs because the music is absolutely God-awful.

I spent two days out of the house sleeping on the cold floors and two seat sofas of various reletives. I had a pretty nice time; somewhat disapointed to be back home alone but I need some decent sleep.

We had Christmas dinner in a church - I was expecting the atmosphere to be Dickensian, all of us sat along one single wooden bench sharing plates of meat and veg, standing to pass around strangers and friend alike. Instead it was a somewhat awkward gathering of seperate groups struggling to mingle, with dedicated church goers trying to get Christmas Spirit and conversation going. Many people left after it was annouced dinner would be late. Only 60 of 150 plates were served.
I'd probably do it again. It was really nice to be around strangers and share Christmas, but it's a lot of work when you're not used to socialising. Some experiences still feel off, though, and I keep recalling certain things that're troubling my mind. My account is straying toward /emo/ territory so I'll wrap it up here.

Could you believe I actually missed this place, a bit? Merry Christmas chaps, and a happy new year.

>>468169
Lol

>>468222
It beat my expectations for it although a lot of that has to do with Peter Kay I reckon. Keep in mind there's been a lot of Wallace and Gromit films made over the years, this was by no means as good as Wrong Trousers (and the gnome was annoying) but it does feel like they put the effort in this time.

My complaint is the do-everything action woman with lots of spunk is a tired trope and she wasn't given anything to do. Almost like she was a concession to get it made...

>it was almost patronising

I reckon they did to to try to crack the international market. We all know exactly who these people are but Wallace and Gromit isn't as well-known abroad as you'd think, Sean the Sheep might actually have a bigger footprint which is why I wasn't surprised that the farmer from it had a cameo.

>>468224
Do you reckon the priest deliberately set it up to be an allegory of the long spoons just to see what happens? He was expecting people to either cooperate in sharing plates around or get stuck with one side in-front of them but was foiled by the British capacity to chuckle and quietly leave when awkward socialising is involved.

Is it unethical to wank on Boxing Day? When would be acceptable; tomorrow earliest?

>>468225
>My complaint is the do-everything action woman with lots of spunk is a tired trope and she wasn't given anything to do. Almost like she was a concession to get it made...

>>468222

It just felt really rushed more than anything, like they were going for a plot more akin to a feature length film, but squeezed it all into a TV episode length. The comedy was on point, though, lots of gags you saw coming before they happened but the joke still lands (the zoom out to the narrowboats going slowly is the big example that comes to mind), that's a difficult style of comedy to pull off but it's something Aardman seem exceptionally good at. So overall it was good enough, but at this point it's one of those things like a new Metallica album- You know it will never be really great, it'll always be just alright, but forgettable.

...

Anyway I am proud of you all for not bringing it up but I'll take one for the team and say what you're all thinking: Is real life Wigan that diverse? I suppose it could be to be fair, Lancashire must have its own Dewsbury. But it did seem forced. Also the copper called Mukherjee reminded me strongly of those school textbooks you'd get where it was like they tried to use the most obviously ethnic names possible, like "Alice has two apples. Rajvindapoot has three apples. How many apples do they both have?", just in case we didn't notice she's brown by looking.

>>468229
>Is real life Wigan that diverse?
I assume that it is - there are only a couple of foreigns with speaking parts, after all - but I just can't believe that Asian women join the police in noticeable numbers. We all know the police are entirely white male hooligan chronic masturbators.

>>468226

You stopped wanking because of Christmas?

>>468226

I reckon you should wait until new year at least. But I can't be trusted on this matter, I have an orgasm denial kink and I want you to have blue balls.

Every character in everything, from GCSE textbooks to primetime telly, should be a prematurely middle-aged white man who spends all his time on the computer, arguing about nothing with his indentikit counterparts.

>>468233

>should be a prematurely middle-aged white man

I was going to say Tom Scott, but he doesn't fit the rest of your description.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7DKv5H5Frt0

>>468233

Struggling to get parts are you, Withnailad?

>>468235

He gets plenty of parts down at Clapham Common, the dirty bugger.

I've pulled the short straw and had to work today, which wouldn't have been too much of an issue if it wasn't for the fact they insisted that everyone working today has to be in the office. At least the roads were dead.

There's 7 of us in, when usually there'd be somewhere around 25, and everyone is sat in silence. It's a bit eerie. I've got shitloads done but it's only 10 o'clock so I know the day is going to drag terribly.

You know, I haven't bothered to watch The Snowman for years. Sod the new one, I',m talong the horrible scratchy pencilled animation.

It's on Youtube, we should give it a watch to see out the season.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mzplnhz1SLc

>>468261
Father Christmas > The Snowman.

>>468261
I really do love Walking in the Air, but the rest of it is pretty forgettable. He goes to a whole island full of snowmen and dances with them for fucking ages. If it wasn't for the dusty and decrepit animation style, I probably wouldn't like it at all. So I give it three years before they replace it with a CGI one that looks like Toy Story, and then never show the original ever again.

>>468269
>He goes to a whole island full of snowmen and dances with them for fucking ages
When he's invited to be the centerpiece of a ring of baying, eccentrically dressed oldsnow men, then later taken to Santas belowground shed. Connotations I've never noticed before, I'm wondering if that speaks more of my mindset than anything else.

>>468284
Pictured: James when he sees what Father Christmas has in his sack.