As much as I'd prefer not another Andrew thread .. can you believe someone would wear that to bingo? That's nuts.

I'd have preferred Vorderman over this.

I like the OP picture.

I went out last night and wound up in someone's house, and he Whamageddoned all of us at about 3am on the first of December. Ho-hum.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwLXaYn9KKI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJc6-DgaQa0

Christmas at Britfa.gs is going to be shit this year, isn't it?

>>467740
That's the spirit.

I went and bought Christmas presents this year, after years of not buying any at all. A series of Magic Eye books for my parents and siblings, one each so they could swap them every now and then if they get bored of their own. Real nostaligic like, we used to have one as kids when we were a nuclear family.

Only I've second guessed myself and now think there's a good chance I actually bought these things for myself, in guise of gifts. I envision visiting the various family members, sat with their children going through the Magic Eye book as we used to with our parents. It sounds nice and all but if I'm honest the only memory of these books is of me going through them - I don't recall anyone else being interested.

I think my Dad would probably like his one because it was his Magic Eye book originally, but everyone else .. probably not.

Atleast it's better than the year I bought my Mum a Rocky Horror CD. Ugh.

My immediate family are all dead. I won't be getting any presents, and I won't be giving any. Besides grave candles.

Second year now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVWHRpvzD

>>467747
Fuck sake, how do you embed nowadays? Youtube changed the links and I can never work out what bit to use.

>>467748
I think it's if you copy the link from a phone app that it doesn't work. For me, www.youtube.com URLs always work, and youtu.be URLs always don't. If you copy a link on your phone, it will probably be a youtu.be one, and that's why it won't work.

I just went through my annual reflection on the differences between boys and girls thanks to my brother's two kids. Now I don't want to sound like a Guardian columnist but I still can't get over how gendered their interests are which I have to consider in what I get them and then wonder why my own inner child has a clear preference that makes me feel guilty.

Which would your inner-child rather get:
1. The Encyclopedia Prehistorica Dinosaurs pop-up book and a kit to excavate a t-rex to do with your dad that comes with a toy hammer and chisel.
2. An Animal Pottery kit where you can make animals out of clay, shape them using tools and then paint them + another one to make standard pottery like teacups, also an illustrated book on modern animals.

In a sense both presents are similar, one just uses hard clay wrapping a plastic pre-set model and the other is more creative but someone more uncharitable could say that I'm just projecting my own internal prejudices in the toys I buy or that everything I hear is influenced by my brother's prejudices and societies influence on kids. It's all a bit complicated. The boy likes broad boyish engineering stuff and the girl likes more girly creative interests.

>>467743
I'm not going to sugar coat it, that sounds a bit wank. You might want to make sure you explain the thought behind it.

Is it time for the greatest video of all time?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YS2dSa-Ud0

>>467750
Just realised that the easy solution would've been to address all the presents to both and then they can share.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LwlP9F1FEDM

>>467732

That picture confuses me so much is that honestly just a woman wandering around with one tit out with a pair of googlely eyes and glitter stuck on and everyone being indifferent to it Or is this an optical illusion

>>467743
I've got my dad a Wasgij, 750g Toblerone and a few bottles of beer. I've got my mum a bottle of gin and I know she likes the champagne flavour Lindt but I think you can't buy a box of those, only from pick and mix, so I'll see if I can get her champagne truffles from somewhere like M&S instead. My brother will be getting an Amazon voucher.

>>467746
Sorry to hear that mate. How are you doing with it?

Get your mum a Richard Osmand book this year. Old ladies love murder (no really) and think Richard is a nice polite handsome young man.

>Richard Osmand

>>/101/5003

>>467750
I'd not have thought either was overly gendered, but maybe I'm bias too. Dinosaurs are expected to be of more interest to boys purely from a traditional standpoint (which must be based on something), but the clay modelling is neither gender from my experience. As kids we put together a few small clay animals, some of which are still around my Mum's house (come to think of it, I don't remember ever using the the dinosaur book and videotape my father bought us one year).

>I'm not going to sugar coat it, that sounds a bit wank.
To be honest I'm sad at the thought. I'm recalling how my fathers gifts were often oblivious, how my own were just as so, and that I ended up neglecting to buy any for years because of the embarassment of weird statements inevitably made when you gift something unusual. I don't even like recieving gifts for what they say about the givers perception of you. I'm in half a mind to get rid of these books though I've already mentioned the suprise to a few people.

>>467761

It was long coming. I knew for years that after my mum's death, I would be all on my own. I could've done something about it by finding a partner in time, maybe even get married and have kids. I chose not to, and valued my freedom more than the idea of settling down. And then the last few years, I was too tied up being a 24/7 live-in carer for my mum until she died. Which I have no regrets about. She was there for me all my life, and in a way, I guess it was my way of giving back. A few years of my time to reciprocate for a whole lifetime seemed like a fair deal.

I'm not bitter. I'm alive. I walk, live and breathe. And that's more than you can say about my parents and sibling. Every day above ground is a good day. But it does get lonely around this time of year. I've no idea how I'll spend Christmas. Maybe just ignore the holidays altogether. I don't know. Never been much of a Christmas person to begin with, so I guess that helps.

>>467765
That's an admirable way of looking at the situation. I hope you consider building a support network all the same, it may not be necessary but it'll make life easier and less stressful. We're not built to be strong all the time.

Hearing you lot overthink the gifts you get people is making me very thankful I only have my mum and dad to buy the obligatory box of chocolates, bottle of wine, and some sort of garden ornament for. Oh and a bone for the dog, but me and that dog aren't on best terms, so it won't be a big meaty bone like I used to get for our old dog, who was the better dog in all respects. It'll be a medium sized rawhide one at best.

I am usually really good at buying gifts for partners, but I suspect that's because when you spend a lot of time with a partner, it's easier to pick up on things they might actually want. It's easier then because you don't have to forensically examine the thought process of why you got them it, it's just something you remembered them saying they would like a few weeks ago. If you spent more time with your families instead of posting on the chronic shed wankers bulletin board you might not have this problem, lads.

(That's a joke, don't worry. Families are the worst.)

Also I don't know who the OP lass is (is she anybody?) but the crazy look in here eyes is giving me a bit of a chub on. She reminds me of the mental hippy lass I knew.

>>467769
Likewise. Not sure I can tolerate a month of that, so I might have to use the element blocker. Not yet, though, not yet.

>>467769
>the crazy look in here eyes

I think that's one of the standard American faces rather than anything particularly crazed. Granted, she does have one of her wabs out.

>>467766

>I hope you consider building a support network all the same, it may not be necessary but it'll make life easier and less stressful.

I've got friends who have been very supportive. People I can talk to and spend time with. I'm not alone. I've also been seeing a therapist.

But I don't want to be anybody's burden at Christmas. Christmas is family time, and I'm not part of theirs. I'm open to somebody inviting me anyway, but I'm fine with being a bit out of luck. Maybe at some point in the future I'll have a partner to celebrate with again.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmm1gt_2SkQ

RIP Frank Farian.

And Bobby Farrell.

https://www.theguardian.com/music/2024/nov/29/band-aid-40-fails-to-reach-uk-top-40-in-opening-week

>Band Aid 40 fails to reach UK Top 40 in opening week

>Ed Sheeran, whose 2014 vocals appear on the new version, said ahead of its release: “Had I had the choice I would have respectfully declined the use of my vocals”. He cited criticism by British-Ghanaian musician Fuse ODG, who wrote in his own statement that charity initiatives such as Band Aid “perpetuate damaging stereotypes that stifle Africa’s economic growth, tourism and investment, ultimately costing the continent trillions and destroying its dignity, pride and identity”.

>>467779

So... Letting Africans starve is woke now? This clip only gets more relevant every passing day.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ev373c7wSRg

>>467780

Loved this.

Good find.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-TSfBFt7yc

I really need to find a way to ban you lads from YouTube.

>>467786

Do you wank to Grace Long?





Personal question, feel free not to answer.

>>467789

Obviously he does. Why else would he watch her videos? It can't be because she's funny, because she fucking isn't.

Alistair Beckett King is the best at this, but I can't respect him as an alternative YouTube comic any more since I started hearing him appear on Radio 4 panel shows, and presumably he'll be on Taskmaster before we know it. Sell out.

>>467790

>Alistair Beckett King is the best at this

But he's a more challenging wank.





I'll get my coat.

>>467789
I do not. She's pretty, but too young.

At this point I think I'm posting them to wind some of you up. I'm off the chain.

>>467795

>She's pretty, but too young

Hey, she's 22. It's ok to wank to 22 year olds.

>>467796
Anyone under about 28 looks like a child to me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GnBVY4v20Kw

No matter what you otherwise think of Band Aid, the original song and its video from 1984 are an incredible time capsule. Everybody who was somebody in British music at the time was taking part in it. With few exceptions.

As a weelad, I had an early interest in pop music, and I bought the 12'' of Do They Know It's Christmas the day it came out in 1984, when I was 10 years old, nagging my parents to take me to our local HMV. I think the 7'' single came out a few days before that, but I wanted the 12''. I was an early collector of 12'' vinyl, and some of the other ones I bought that year were The Riddle by Nik Kershaw and People Are People by Depeche Mode.

>>467801


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6_6PzRQ9sQ

>>467802
>Band Aid Forty

>>467802

Christ, I'd forgotten how fit Boy George was in his prime. He could chain me to a radiator IYKWIM.

>>467806

Was he the first femboy, you reckon?

>>467808
Blatant Marilyn erasure.

The last thing you see as you make your way to the UnitedHealthcare investor conference.

>>467805

To me, there's only ever been one Band Aid.

Do you ever hear the song from Band Aid 20 played? Or from Band Aid 30? Everybody has completely forgotten all about them. And with good reason.

It's good that Band Aid as an entity still exists and collects donations for the cause. There will probably never be a time when they won't be needed. But it goes to show that you can't, and shouldn't try to improve on something that was already near enough a perfect Christmas song. Which people still enjoy, in its original version, 40 years on.

Got my Spotify wrapped. Turns out I'm a massive bumder.

Well, I was gearing up for a new CPU and GPU in January. Then I had to fork out almost £1,000 on BULLSHIT, so I'm stuck with my fucking 1660 Super for a while longer yet.

Fuck Christmas.

>>467817
I been using a 1660super for 3 years, it's the most powerful graphics card I've ever had. I play most games on Medium/low anway cuz I'm scared of the computer getting too hot and exploding.

>>467816
Let's all agree to never discuss music again.

Did you listen to the shameless Google notepad LLM thing? They've been shilling it on my podcasts as well.

>>467821

The NotebookLM podcasts are astonishing.

GCHQ have released their Christmas puzzle for 2024. Supposedly, they can be done by a classroom full of children, but I would have rated myself as cleverer than a room of children and I am evidently not. I needed to look at the hints for question 6, and number 7 just doesn’t make sense.

https://www.gchq.gov.uk/news/christmas-challenge-2024

>>467865
Nice try, GCHQlad.

When did Save the Children gain the power to unilaterally declare a Christmas jumper day and demand tribute from us? Unless I'm mistaken they're far too pro-children to ever win a fair election in this country.

This has been an unbelievably God awful week so far. However, tomorrow will be better, because tomorrow I will making myself enough French onion soup to drown a large elk in, and that's what life's really about.

I will die pissed off at myself for not getting a ticket to the gig I wanted to go to last night. I will spend literal years wanting to punch myself in the head and scream "CUNT!", everytime I remember what a tit I was over this.

Also, I hate Christmas and dogs.

A friend keeps bugging me about donating to some lesser known breast cancer charity that he(!) volunteers for. Because, hey, it's Christmas.

I'm all for women not ending up with lumps in their tits, but out of blatant self interest, I'd be more inclined to donate towards testicular cancer.

IT'S HAPPENED AGAIN.

WHOKE CHOCOLATE.

>>467885

>when they went to open door number 10 and there was no chocolate inside

I'm sure somebody in a meeting had a good laugh at that. No doubt, no veiled reference to this year's election at all.

It's just a marketing gimmick. When you produce millions of these calendars and leave out 1/24 of the chocolates, then it'll be enough for somebody's Christmas bonus who came up with the idea. And the braindead wokes are lapping it up because they think that company understands them.

>>467886
>When you produce millions of these calendars and leave out 1/24 of the chocolates, then it'll be enough for somebody's Christmas bonus who came up with the idea.
The 9th door intentionally contains 2 chocolates.
>And the braindead wokes are lapping it up because they think that company understands them.
You didn't even read the 1 paragraph of the image that was offered before you.

>>467887
>You didn't even read the 1 paragraph of the image that was offered before you.
He was probably too busy gathering all the non-imagined or anecdotal evidence he has of people "lapping it up" in meaningful numbers for that.

It's still really very cynical. You know how Starbucks says it gives a percent towards the starving African coffee miners or whatever, for every cup you buy? You see straight through that for what it is, or at least I would hope you do; Tony's the shipping forecast Chocolate Nonsense is exactly the same. Worse, even, they're not actively doing anything, they are just purely performatively doing things with their packaging or whatever.

You might perceive yourself as superior to the kind of Daily Mail gammon who spends time on the internet objecting to it, but that's very much part of the reason it works. You are not just swallowing the marketing of a consumer product, which you know is most likely environmentally unfriendly and contributing to equality and so on; it's one thing to say "I know all that but I enjoy the product". You are actively opening yourself and making mental space for the idea that the consumption of this product is in and of itself an ethical act.

From surplus value, to surplus enjoyment. Smarter men than me have pointed out how this is a very clever capitalist con trick. The annoying thing about liberals is they always think they're the ones in on the joke, not the butt end of it.

>>467885
You don't have nothing. I can see a note in that square that is probably an attempt to explain basic social concepts like inequality to you and your child, you ungrateful, social media, oaf.

Also I thought kids were supposed to learn things? Is inequality not appropriate for the under-tens to learn about? Is it not real? What's actually wrong with this? If your weak-minded child throws a wobbly at what is basically a slightly more advanced form of the marshmallow experiment, it's probably time for a super-late-term abortion. It'll put a damper on this Christmas, but twelve months is long enough to have another one ready for the next festive season. Either that, or be a decent enough parent to explain why there isn't a chocolate today, because, you know, parents are meant to educate their children instead of posting videos of them being sad on social media.

>>467886
You stupid bastard.

>>467889

Do you have evidence anyone here is doing any of that beyond calling >>467886 an idiot?

>>467890
I'm surprised at how much of a reaction this generates in you. Parents are angry because they buy advent calendars to give Christmas magic to their children with an implicit exercise in delayed gratification. Taking chocolate from children over Christmas isn't teaching them much a lesson, you're just being a dick.

Same with not having the chocolate broken into equal segments so it can't be shared or used in cooking. It's silly, just make chocolate. The reason Tony's has done well is they still give you a fair block of chocolate and it's a bit better tasting than Cadbury's - if they started pulling Mondelez's bullshit then they'd soon be out on their arse for the social engineering bullshit.

>>467892
>Same with not having the chocolate broken into equal segments so it can't be shared or used in cooking. It's silly, just make chocolate.
Is that actually why they do it, or just an inferrence? I can't imagine weighing chocolate as made more difficult by its shape - atleast how it's set in Tony's. Also the shape makes it more fun to eat and arguably more fun to break up andshare (I want the long bit! My favorite is the chunk at the end! I prefer the crumbs that should overwise go to enslaved farmers!"

>Parents are angry because they buy advent calendars to give Christmas magic to their children and maybe they'll learn delayed gratification as a result.
This is a good point, actually. Didn't think about that.

I don't know why anyone thinks there will be a lesson here other than not to trust tony's chocolate. Unsolicited violation of the social contract is bullying. If I as an adult bought anything anything at all and discovered the box was empty and there was a little manifesto about how I should be a better person who should consume less.I would just assume that person is a thief a troll and a cunt.

It isn't going to placate a child that they got 2 chocolates on a different day they are going to remember they were hurt on that day far more. It is how human psychology works. And quite probably less secure in trusting future. They have taken a small bit of joy stamped all over it. If I steal one of their cars for a day and see how high minded they are that I taught them 'an important lesson about saving the planet by teaching them to consider the values and accessibility of public transport' do you think they would it in good humour or report it to the police like some right wing fascist?

>>467891

Well, yes; in the fact that they are defending this practice by Tony's whatsoever, they are falling directly into that marketing ploy. It's very little to do with if otherlad is correct in his criticism or not. My middle paragraph explains this.

>>467896

We're not defending the practice, we're calling you both idiots.

I think the lesson here is that anyone who pays £15 for an advent calendar wants their head testing.

>>467893
My intolerance is not so much to do with this specific event, but moreover the phenomenon of adults whinging. I'm aware that to express my frustration with this I, an adult, have to whinge, but that's the unjust irony I'm saddled with by having to share a planet with these oxygen theiving ingrates. Also-ran "influencers" whinge about almost literally nothing, politicians whinge about sandwiches, the half-insane whinge about the NWO releasing a new strain of polio. It's everywhere and it's almost never an actual problem.

If a child doesn't get a chocolate in their advent calendar, you've got two options. One, you lie and say there has been a mistake, go to the shop, and buy them a Twix. Preferably you'd get them a nice chocolate bar instead, but it's your kid, purchase as you please. Two, you make an earnest attempt to explain what inequality is and that sometimes shit happens or whatever. As I mentioned previously, your dumb child might not understand this, but sometimes kids learn things without realising they've learnt anything at the time. If you didn't want either of these hassles then you should have rubbered up eight years ago, or bought an advent calendar from one of the countless not-at-all socially conscious chocolate brands.

>Same with not having the chocolate broken into equal segments so it can't be shared or used in cooking.
Pull the other one. "Can't be used in cooking"? It's not microbiology, it won't matter to your cake if you go a couple of grams over. If you consider this an issue inspite of that, you can avoid it buying literally any other choclate. This is what I mean by whinging. This is not a real problem, this has never knackered your day or hobbled your plans, but yet there you sit, typing away about an invented setback like these things even being a concern for you doesn't make you one of humanity's all-time winners.

>>467895
>Unsolicited violation of the social contract is bullying.
You've got to be kidding? Can you people not hear yourselves? You didn't get the shit kicked out of you by the coppers or egged at your dad's funeral, a chocolate bar you don't like exists. Grow up, you baby.

I saw some Tony's Chocolonely in Asda earlier, and I nearly bought it because you all love it so much. But it was £3 and so my genius high-IQ chocolate appreciation would not permit me to volunteer to get robbed by these hipster fucks. They had a bar of Hershey's, made from boiled rubber by the descendants of slave-traders and CIA torturers, for £1, so I bought that instead. How's that for injustice?

>>467900
>It's not microbiology

Have you really never baked a cake in your life?

When baking you don't just throw a block in and call it a day. Specifically the chocolate needs breaking up to melt evenly and avoid scorching, but more generally it's woe betide to anyone who behaves slapdash with measurements.

>>467902
>so I bought that instead

You got done m8, Hershey's is absolute shite.

People who send Christmas round-robin letters bragging about their fabulous lives should be publicly hanged.

>>467905
I'm not middle class enough to have experienced this.

>>467902
>If you act like a cheap arsehole, expect the shittiest portion.

>>467903
You know that's not what I said, you absolute sod.

>>467906

It is a pretty middle class thing to do. Although to me it's always seemed at least a little bit like a way for certain people of overcompensating their insecurities about actually being part of the middle class.

And it's mostly the women who seem interested in these things. Which is just as well. More so than most men, they often need assurance that they've settled down with the right bloke. And they also need to be able to signal to their female friends, who are the true recipients of these letters, that they have.

The Mideastern grocer near here has the best sweet chestnuts I've had in a long time. They are £1.25 for 100 grams versus 99p for the ones from Lidl, but so absolutely worth it. Just very big, sweet and juicy.

Less than 2 weeks laaaaads!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZ94M_XHarI

>>467914
Someone at my work Christmas party told me this was their favourite ever Christmas song. I was perplexed. Especially when Chris de Burgh exists.

I was wondering today about what Christmas even means within the context of a post-Christian world. Barely anyone cares about the Jesus stuff and in a multicultural society it doesn't make sense anyway. More cynical humbugs might say that it devolves into a form of almost compulsory consumerism but yet it still seems intent to latch onto something ephemeral, it's not just product® but Christmas-product®.

But from reading the thoughts of you hedgehog fingerers and doll enthusiasts it made me realize that it's become a fertility festival. I've drawn up a few reasons from a quick think:

- Christmas movies relate to coupling, building families and generally being with the people you love
- Traditional office parties still have some reputation for raunchy celebration and abandoning office social rules
- Children are given gifts and venerated as the centrepieces, maybe even subsuming the birth of Jesus into birth more generally
- While the Saturnalia/Yule connection is more tenuous than people think they both had fertility elements
- Coincidentally the peak birthing season for school performance (and agricultural seasons) is just over 9 months later and extends to Valentines
- Mistletoe is obvious but holly and ivy are also used together which are respective symbols or male and female fertility

.gs isn't an outlier but part of a broader trend towards Christmas being a dirty festival that we'll see take shape over the coming century.

>>467954
An ex's Mother once had the opinion that Christmas was essentially a reward for getting through another shitty year. A time when families can try and get together for a little bit of joy in a world that beats them down.

NINE MORE SLEEPS 'TIL TITMAS.

Dreading Boxing Day. I have to go round to my girlfriend's parents house, and all her family will be there. They only live half an hour away but I avoid visiting them with my girlfriend because I am scared of them. Buses aren't running that day, so if I want to leave early it's a £20 taxi. They're all lovely people but they terrify me.

>>467960
What's scary about them?

>>467960
Would you like to have Christmas dinner with my parents? My mother will ask if you've met anyone "yet" and comment on how you're getting older. It will also be 5 days.

HAS CULINARY SCIENCE GONE TOO FAR?

>>467959
>NINE MORE SLEEPS 'TIL TITMAS
Anxiety is starting to get up but I think it's mostly reluctance to go sleep at dads for Christmas morning, then walk over to Mums (bidding every passer by a "Merry Christmas!") for Christmas lunch. That's all day around people, it's going to be so draining. Then getting back home again. It's not particularly difficult, It's just doing it.

I think my Mum might be doing some drama, too, with breaking up with her boyfriend over the period.

>>467966
Thought she'd have started the menopause by now.

>>467963
I tried this last year for a chuckle, and it was surprisingly tasty.

M&S stollen bites are an abomination compared to the Lidl and Aldi versions.

What tv shows are you lot going to watch over Christmas? I'm staying in a very boring village for the week so I might benefit from something to binge rather than resorting to talking to people.

>>467976
Adam Curtis's 1993 series Pandora's Box, The Rig and maybe I'll finally torrent House of the Dragon, but no promises.

>>467976
I have cleared my calendar for the same things I watch every Christmas: Wallace & Gromit, World's Strongest Man, and precisely one adaptation of A Christmas Carol. There's a new Wallace & Gromit this year, so I'll be right on that.

>>467976
Father Ted Christmas special.
It's been every year since 1996.

>>467976

As always, I will be watching British war films made during the war - The Way Ahead, We Dive at Dawn, Went The Day Well?, Night Train To Munich, The Foreman Went To France, The Way to the Stars, Millions Like Us and, best of all, In Which We Serve. I might throw in a few later films like Reach for the Sky and The Cruel Sea.