As much as I'd prefer not another Andrew thread .. can you believe someone would wear that to bingo? That's nuts.

I'd have preferred Vorderman over this.

I like the OP picture.

I went out last night and wound up in someone's house, and he Whamageddoned all of us at about 3am on the first of December. Ho-hum.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwLXaYn9KKI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJc6-DgaQa0

Christmas at Britfa.gs is going to be shit this year, isn't it?

>>467740
That's the spirit.

I went and bought Christmas presents this year, after years of not buying any at all. A series of Magic Eye books for my parents and siblings, one each so they could swap them every now and then if they get bored of their own. Real nostaligic like, we used to have one as kids when we were a nuclear family.

Only I've second guessed myself and now think there's a good chance I actually bought these things for myself, in guise of gifts. I envision visiting the various family members, sat with their children going through the Magic Eye book as we used to with our parents. It sounds nice and all but if I'm honest the only memory of these books is of me going through them - I don't recall anyone else being interested.

I think my Dad would probably like his one because it was his Magic Eye book originally, but everyone else .. probably not.

Atleast it's better than the year I bought my Mum a Rocky Horror CD. Ugh.

My immediate family are all dead. I won't be getting any presents, and I won't be giving any. Besides grave candles.

Second year now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVWHRpvzD

>>467747
Fuck sake, how do you embed nowadays? Youtube changed the links and I can never work out what bit to use.

>>467748
I think it's if you copy the link from a phone app that it doesn't work. For me, www.youtube.com URLs always work, and youtu.be URLs always don't. If you copy a link on your phone, it will probably be a youtu.be one, and that's why it won't work.

I just went through my annual reflection on the differences between boys and girls thanks to my brother's two kids. Now I don't want to sound like a Guardian columnist but I still can't get over how gendered their interests are which I have to consider in what I get them and then wonder why my own inner child has a clear preference that makes me feel guilty.

Which would your inner-child rather get:
1. The Encyclopedia Prehistorica Dinosaurs pop-up book and a kit to excavate a t-rex to do with your dad that comes with a toy hammer and chisel.
2. An Animal Pottery kit where you can make animals out of clay, shape them using tools and then paint them + another one to make standard pottery like teacups, also an illustrated book on modern animals.

In a sense both presents are similar, one just uses hard clay wrapping a plastic pre-set model and the other is more creative but someone more uncharitable could say that I'm just projecting my own internal prejudices in the toys I buy or that everything I hear is influenced by my brother's prejudices and societies influence on kids. It's all a bit complicated. The boy likes broad boyish engineering stuff and the girl likes more girly creative interests.

>>467743
I'm not going to sugar coat it, that sounds a bit wank. You might want to make sure you explain the thought behind it.

Is it time for the greatest video of all time?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YS2dSa-Ud0

>>467750
Just realised that the easy solution would've been to address all the presents to both and then they can share.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LwlP9F1FEDM

>>467732

That picture confuses me so much is that honestly just a woman wandering around with one tit out with a pair of googlely eyes and glitter stuck on and everyone being indifferent to it Or is this an optical illusion

>>467743
I've got my dad a Wasgij, 750g Toblerone and a few bottles of beer. I've got my mum a bottle of gin and I know she likes the champagne flavour Lindt but I think you can't buy a box of those, only from pick and mix, so I'll see if I can get her champagne truffles from somewhere like M&S instead. My brother will be getting an Amazon voucher.

>>467746
Sorry to hear that mate. How are you doing with it?

Get your mum a Richard Osmand book this year. Old ladies love murder (no really) and think Richard is a nice polite handsome young man.

>Richard Osmand

>>/101/5003

>>467750
I'd not have thought either was overly gendered, but maybe I'm bias too. Dinosaurs are expected to be of more interest to boys purely from a traditional standpoint (which must be based on something), but the clay modelling is neither gender from my experience. As kids we put together a few small clay animals, some of which are still around my Mum's house (come to think of it, I don't remember ever using the the dinosaur book and videotape my father bought us one year).

>I'm not going to sugar coat it, that sounds a bit wank.
To be honest I'm sad at the thought. I'm recalling how my fathers gifts were often oblivious, how my own were just as so, and that I ended up neglecting to buy any for years because of the embarassment of weird statements inevitably made when you gift something unusual. I don't even like recieving gifts for what they say about the givers perception of you. I'm in half a mind to get rid of these books though I've already mentioned the suprise to a few people.

>>467761

It was long coming. I knew for years that after my mum's death, I would be all on my own. I could've done something about it by finding a partner in time, maybe even get married and have kids. I chose not to, and valued my freedom more than the idea of settling down. And then the last few years, I was too tied up being a 24/7 live-in carer for my mum until she died. Which I have no regrets about. She was there for me all my life, and in a way, I guess it was my way of giving back. A few years of my time to reciprocate for a whole lifetime seemed like a fair deal.

I'm not bitter. I'm alive. I walk, live and breathe. And that's more than you can say about my parents and sibling. Every day above ground is a good day. But it does get lonely around this time of year. I've no idea how I'll spend Christmas. Maybe just ignore the holidays altogether. I don't know. Never been much of a Christmas person to begin with, so I guess that helps.

>>467765
That's an admirable way of looking at the situation. I hope you consider building a support network all the same, it may not be necessary but it'll make life easier and less stressful. We're not built to be strong all the time.

Hearing you lot overthink the gifts you get people is making me very thankful I only have my mum and dad to buy the obligatory box of chocolates, bottle of wine, and some sort of garden ornament for. Oh and a bone for the dog, but me and that dog aren't on best terms, so it won't be a big meaty bone like I used to get for our old dog, who was the better dog in all respects. It'll be a medium sized rawhide one at best.

I am usually really good at buying gifts for partners, but I suspect that's because when you spend a lot of time with a partner, it's easier to pick up on things they might actually want. It's easier then because you don't have to forensically examine the thought process of why you got them it, it's just something you remembered them saying they would like a few weeks ago. If you spent more time with your families instead of posting on the chronic shed wankers bulletin board you might not have this problem, lads.

(That's a joke, don't worry. Families are the worst.)

Also I don't know who the OP lass is (is she anybody?) but the crazy look in here eyes is giving me a bit of a chub on. She reminds me of the mental hippy lass I knew.

>>467769
Likewise. Not sure I can tolerate a month of that, so I might have to use the element blocker. Not yet, though, not yet.

>>467769
>the crazy look in here eyes

I think that's one of the standard American faces rather than anything particularly crazed. Granted, she does have one of her wabs out.

>>467766

>I hope you consider building a support network all the same, it may not be necessary but it'll make life easier and less stressful.

I've got friends who have been very supportive. People I can talk to and spend time with. I'm not alone. I've also been seeing a therapist.

But I don't want to be anybody's burden at Christmas. Christmas is family time, and I'm not part of theirs. I'm open to somebody inviting me anyway, but I'm fine with being a bit out of luck. Maybe at some point in the future I'll have a partner to celebrate with again.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmm1gt_2SkQ

RIP Frank Farian.

And Bobby Farrell.

https://www.theguardian.com/music/2024/nov/29/band-aid-40-fails-to-reach-uk-top-40-in-opening-week

>Band Aid 40 fails to reach UK Top 40 in opening week

>Ed Sheeran, whose 2014 vocals appear on the new version, said ahead of its release: “Had I had the choice I would have respectfully declined the use of my vocals”. He cited criticism by British-Ghanaian musician Fuse ODG, who wrote in his own statement that charity initiatives such as Band Aid “perpetuate damaging stereotypes that stifle Africa’s economic growth, tourism and investment, ultimately costing the continent trillions and destroying its dignity, pride and identity”.

>>467779

So... Letting Africans starve is woke now? This clip only gets more relevant every passing day.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ev373c7wSRg

>>467780

Loved this.

Good find.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-TSfBFt7yc

I really need to find a way to ban you lads from YouTube.

>>467786

Do you wank to Grace Long?





Personal question, feel free not to answer.

>>467789

Obviously he does. Why else would he watch her videos? It can't be because she's funny, because she fucking isn't.

Alistair Beckett King is the best at this, but I can't respect him as an alternative YouTube comic any more since I started hearing him appear on Radio 4 panel shows, and presumably he'll be on Taskmaster before we know it. Sell out.

>>467790

>Alistair Beckett King is the best at this

But he's a more challenging wank.





I'll get my coat.

>>467789
I do not. She's pretty, but too young.

At this point I think I'm posting them to wind some of you up. I'm off the chain.

>>467795

>She's pretty, but too young

Hey, she's 22. It's ok to wank to 22 year olds.

>>467796
Anyone under about 28 looks like a child to me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GnBVY4v20Kw

No matter what you otherwise think of Band Aid, the original song and its video from 1984 are an incredible time capsule. Everybody who was somebody in British music at the time was taking part in it. With few exceptions.

As a weelad, I had an early interest in pop music, and I bought the 12'' of Do They Know It's Christmas the day it came out in 1984, when I was 10 years old, nagging my parents to take me to our local HMV. I think the 7'' single came out a few days before that, but I wanted the 12''. I was an early collector of 12'' vinyl, and some of the other ones I bought that year were The Riddle by Nik Kershaw and People Are People by Depeche Mode.

>>467801


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6_6PzRQ9sQ

>>467802
>Band Aid Forty

>>467802

Christ, I'd forgotten how fit Boy George was in his prime. He could chain me to a radiator IYKWIM.

>>467806

Was he the first femboy, you reckon?

>>467808
Blatant Marilyn erasure.

The last thing you see as you make your way to the UnitedHealthcare investor conference.

>>467805

To me, there's only ever been one Band Aid.

Do you ever hear the song from Band Aid 20 played? Or from Band Aid 30? Everybody has completely forgotten all about them. And with good reason.

It's good that Band Aid as an entity still exists and collects donations for the cause. There will probably never be a time when they won't be needed. But it goes to show that you can't, and shouldn't try to improve on something that was already near enough a perfect Christmas song. Which people still enjoy, in its original version, 40 years on.

Got my Spotify wrapped. Turns out I'm a massive bumder.

Well, I was gearing up for a new CPU and GPU in January. Then I had to fork out almost £1,000 on BULLSHIT, so I'm stuck with my fucking 1660 Super for a while longer yet.

Fuck Christmas.

>>467817
I been using a 1660super for 3 years, it's the most powerful graphics card I've ever had. I play most games on Medium/low anway cuz I'm scared of the computer getting too hot and exploding.

>>467816
Let's all agree to never discuss music again.

Did you listen to the shameless Google notepad LLM thing? They've been shilling it on my podcasts as well.

>>467821

The NotebookLM podcasts are astonishing.

GCHQ have released their Christmas puzzle for 2024. Supposedly, they can be done by a classroom full of children, but I would have rated myself as cleverer than a room of children and I am evidently not. I needed to look at the hints for question 6, and number 7 just doesn’t make sense.

https://www.gchq.gov.uk/news/christmas-challenge-2024

>>467865
Nice try, GCHQlad.

When did Save the Children gain the power to unilaterally declare a Christmas jumper day and demand tribute from us? Unless I'm mistaken they're far too pro-children to ever win a fair election in this country.

This has been an unbelievably God awful week so far. However, tomorrow will be better, because tomorrow I will making myself enough French onion soup to drown a large elk in, and that's what life's really about.

I will die pissed off at myself for not getting a ticket to the gig I wanted to go to last night. I will spend literal years wanting to punch myself in the head and scream "CUNT!", everytime I remember what a tit I was over this.

Also, I hate Christmas and dogs.

A friend keeps bugging me about donating to some lesser known breast cancer charity that he(!) volunteers for. Because, hey, it's Christmas.

I'm all for women not ending up with lumps in their tits, but out of blatant self interest, I'd be more inclined to donate towards testicular cancer.

IT'S HAPPENED AGAIN.

WHOKE CHOCOLATE.

>>467885

>when they went to open door number 10 and there was no chocolate inside

I'm sure somebody in a meeting had a good laugh at that. No doubt, no veiled reference to this year's election at all.

It's just a marketing gimmick. When you produce millions of these calendars and leave out 1/24 of the chocolates, then it'll be enough for somebody's Christmas bonus who came up with the idea. And the braindead wokes are lapping it up because they think that company understands them.

>>467886
>When you produce millions of these calendars and leave out 1/24 of the chocolates, then it'll be enough for somebody's Christmas bonus who came up with the idea.
The 9th door intentionally contains 2 chocolates.
>And the braindead wokes are lapping it up because they think that company understands them.
You didn't even read the 1 paragraph of the image that was offered before you.

>>467887
>You didn't even read the 1 paragraph of the image that was offered before you.
He was probably too busy gathering all the non-imagined or anecdotal evidence he has of people "lapping it up" in meaningful numbers for that.

It's still really very cynical. You know how Starbucks says it gives a percent towards the starving African coffee miners or whatever, for every cup you buy? You see straight through that for what it is, or at least I would hope you do; Tony's the shipping forecast Chocolate Nonsense is exactly the same. Worse, even, they're not actively doing anything, they are just purely performatively doing things with their packaging or whatever.

You might perceive yourself as superior to the kind of Daily Mail gammon who spends time on the internet objecting to it, but that's very much part of the reason it works. You are not just swallowing the marketing of a consumer product, which you know is most likely environmentally unfriendly and contributing to equality and so on; it's one thing to say "I know all that but I enjoy the product". You are actively opening yourself and making mental space for the idea that the consumption of this product is in and of itself an ethical act.

From surplus value, to surplus enjoyment. Smarter men than me have pointed out how this is a very clever capitalist con trick. The annoying thing about liberals is they always think they're the ones in on the joke, not the butt end of it.

>>467885
You don't have nothing. I can see a note in that square that is probably an attempt to explain basic social concepts like inequality to you and your child, you ungrateful, social media, oaf.

Also I thought kids were supposed to learn things? Is inequality not appropriate for the under-tens to learn about? Is it not real? What's actually wrong with this? If your weak-minded child throws a wobbly at what is basically a slightly more advanced form of the marshmallow experiment, it's probably time for a super-late-term abortion. It'll put a damper on this Christmas, but twelve months is long enough to have another one ready for the next festive season. Either that, or be a decent enough parent to explain why there isn't a chocolate today, because, you know, parents are meant to educate their children instead of posting videos of them being sad on social media.

>>467886
You stupid bastard.

>>467889

Do you have evidence anyone here is doing any of that beyond calling >>467886 an idiot?

>>467890
I'm surprised at how much of a reaction this generates in you. Parents are angry because they buy advent calendars to give Christmas magic to their children with an implicit exercise in delayed gratification. Taking chocolate from children over Christmas isn't teaching them much a lesson, you're just being a dick.

Same with not having the chocolate broken into equal segments so it can't be shared or used in cooking. It's silly, just make chocolate. The reason Tony's has done well is they still give you a fair block of chocolate and it's a bit better tasting than Cadbury's - if they started pulling Mondelez's bullshit then they'd soon be out on their arse for the social engineering bullshit.

>>467892
>Same with not having the chocolate broken into equal segments so it can't be shared or used in cooking. It's silly, just make chocolate.
Is that actually why they do it, or just an inferrence? I can't imagine weighing chocolate as made more difficult by its shape - atleast how it's set in Tony's. Also the shape makes it more fun to eat and arguably more fun to break up andshare (I want the long bit! My favorite is the chunk at the end! I prefer the crumbs that should overwise go to enslaved farmers!"

>Parents are angry because they buy advent calendars to give Christmas magic to their children and maybe they'll learn delayed gratification as a result.
This is a good point, actually. Didn't think about that.

I don't know why anyone thinks there will be a lesson here other than not to trust tony's chocolate. Unsolicited violation of the social contract is bullying. If I as an adult bought anything anything at all and discovered the box was empty and there was a little manifesto about how I should be a better person who should consume less.I would just assume that person is a thief a troll and a cunt.

It isn't going to placate a child that they got 2 chocolates on a different day they are going to remember they were hurt on that day far more. It is how human psychology works. And quite probably less secure in trusting future. They have taken a small bit of joy stamped all over it. If I steal one of their cars for a day and see how high minded they are that I taught them 'an important lesson about saving the planet by teaching them to consider the values and accessibility of public transport' do you think they would it in good humour or report it to the police like some right wing fascist?

>>467891

Well, yes; in the fact that they are defending this practice by Tony's whatsoever, they are falling directly into that marketing ploy. It's very little to do with if otherlad is correct in his criticism or not. My middle paragraph explains this.

>>467896

We're not defending the practice, we're calling you both idiots.

I think the lesson here is that anyone who pays £15 for an advent calendar wants their head testing.

>>467893
My intolerance is not so much to do with this specific event, but moreover the phenomenon of adults whinging. I'm aware that to express my frustration with this I, an adult, have to whinge, but that's the unjust irony I'm saddled with by having to share a planet with these oxygen theiving ingrates. Also-ran "influencers" whinge about almost literally nothing, politicians whinge about sandwiches, the half-insane whinge about the NWO releasing a new strain of polio. It's everywhere and it's almost never an actual problem.

If a child doesn't get a chocolate in their advent calendar, you've got two options. One, you lie and say there has been a mistake, go to the shop, and buy them a Twix. Preferably you'd get them a nice chocolate bar instead, but it's your kid, purchase as you please. Two, you make an earnest attempt to explain what inequality is and that sometimes shit happens or whatever. As I mentioned previously, your dumb child might not understand this, but sometimes kids learn things without realising they've learnt anything at the time. If you didn't want either of these hassles then you should have rubbered up eight years ago, or bought an advent calendar from one of the countless not-at-all socially conscious chocolate brands.

>Same with not having the chocolate broken into equal segments so it can't be shared or used in cooking.
Pull the other one. "Can't be used in cooking"? It's not microbiology, it won't matter to your cake if you go a couple of grams over. If you consider this an issue inspite of that, you can avoid it buying literally any other choclate. This is what I mean by whinging. This is not a real problem, this has never knackered your day or hobbled your plans, but yet there you sit, typing away about an invented setback like these things even being a concern for you doesn't make you one of humanity's all-time winners.

>>467895
>Unsolicited violation of the social contract is bullying.
You've got to be kidding? Can you people not hear yourselves? You didn't get the shit kicked out of you by the coppers or egged at your dad's funeral, a chocolate bar you don't like exists. Grow up, you baby.

I saw some Tony's Chocolonely in Asda earlier, and I nearly bought it because you all love it so much. But it was £3 and so my genius high-IQ chocolate appreciation would not permit me to volunteer to get robbed by these hipster fucks. They had a bar of Hershey's, made from boiled rubber by the descendants of slave-traders and CIA torturers, for £1, so I bought that instead. How's that for injustice?

>>467900
>It's not microbiology

Have you really never baked a cake in your life?

When baking you don't just throw a block in and call it a day. Specifically the chocolate needs breaking up to melt evenly and avoid scorching, but more generally it's woe betide to anyone who behaves slapdash with measurements.

>>467902
>so I bought that instead

You got done m8, Hershey's is absolute shite.

People who send Christmas round-robin letters bragging about their fabulous lives should be publicly hanged.

>>467905
I'm not middle class enough to have experienced this.

>>467902
>If you act like a cheap arsehole, expect the shittiest portion.

>>467903
You know that's not what I said, you absolute sod.

>>467906

It is a pretty middle class thing to do. Although to me it's always seemed at least a little bit like a way for certain people of overcompensating their insecurities about actually being part of the middle class.

And it's mostly the women who seem interested in these things. Which is just as well. More so than most men, they often need assurance that they've settled down with the right bloke. And they also need to be able to signal to their female friends, who are the true recipients of these letters, that they have.

The Mideastern grocer near here has the best sweet chestnuts I've had in a long time. They are £1.25 for 100 grams versus 99p for the ones from Lidl, but so absolutely worth it. Just very big, sweet and juicy.

Less than 2 weeks laaaaads!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZ94M_XHarI

>>467914
Someone at my work Christmas party told me this was their favourite ever Christmas song. I was perplexed. Especially when Chris de Burgh exists.

I was wondering today about what Christmas even means within the context of a post-Christian world. Barely anyone cares about the Jesus stuff and in a multicultural society it doesn't make sense anyway. More cynical humbugs might say that it devolves into a form of almost compulsory consumerism but yet it still seems intent to latch onto something ephemeral, it's not just product® but Christmas-product®.

But from reading the thoughts of you hedgehog fingerers and doll enthusiasts it made me realize that it's become a fertility festival. I've drawn up a few reasons from a quick think:

- Christmas movies relate to coupling, building families and generally being with the people you love
- Traditional office parties still have some reputation for raunchy celebration and abandoning office social rules
- Children are given gifts and venerated as the centrepieces, maybe even subsuming the birth of Jesus into birth more generally
- While the Saturnalia/Yule connection is more tenuous than people think they both had fertility elements
- Coincidentally the peak birthing season for school performance (and agricultural seasons) is just over 9 months later and extends to Valentines
- Mistletoe is obvious but holly and ivy are also used together which are respective symbols or male and female fertility

.gs isn't an outlier but part of a broader trend towards Christmas being a dirty festival that we'll see take shape over the coming century.

>>467954
An ex's Mother once had the opinion that Christmas was essentially a reward for getting through another shitty year. A time when families can try and get together for a little bit of joy in a world that beats them down.

NINE MORE SLEEPS 'TIL TITMAS.

Dreading Boxing Day. I have to go round to my girlfriend's parents house, and all her family will be there. They only live half an hour away but I avoid visiting them with my girlfriend because I am scared of them. Buses aren't running that day, so if I want to leave early it's a £20 taxi. They're all lovely people but they terrify me.

>>467960
What's scary about them?

>>467960
Would you like to have Christmas dinner with my parents? My mother will ask if you've met anyone "yet" and comment on how you're getting older. It will also be 5 days.

HAS CULINARY SCIENCE GONE TOO FAR?

>>467959
>NINE MORE SLEEPS 'TIL TITMAS
Anxiety is starting to get up but I think it's mostly reluctance to go sleep at dads for Christmas morning, then walk over to Mums (bidding every passer by a "Merry Christmas!") for Christmas lunch. That's all day around people, it's going to be so draining. Then getting back home again. It's not particularly difficult, It's just doing it.

I think my Mum might be doing some drama, too, with breaking up with her boyfriend over the period.

>>467966
Thought she'd have started the menopause by now.

>>467963
I tried this last year for a chuckle, and it was surprisingly tasty.

M&S stollen bites are an abomination compared to the Lidl and Aldi versions.

What tv shows are you lot going to watch over Christmas? I'm staying in a very boring village for the week so I might benefit from something to binge rather than resorting to talking to people.

>>467976
Adam Curtis's 1993 series Pandora's Box, The Rig and maybe I'll finally torrent House of the Dragon, but no promises.

>>467976
I have cleared my calendar for the same things I watch every Christmas: Wallace & Gromit, World's Strongest Man, and precisely one adaptation of A Christmas Carol. There's a new Wallace & Gromit this year, so I'll be right on that.

>>467976
Father Ted Christmas special.
It's been every year since 1996.

>>467976

As always, I will be watching British war films made during the war - The Way Ahead, We Dive at Dawn, Went The Day Well?, Night Train To Munich, The Foreman Went To France, The Way to the Stars, Millions Like Us and, best of all, In Which We Serve. I might throw in a few later films like Reach for the Sky and The Cruel Sea.

I'll be having zero time off from my 60hr weeks. I'd sooner take the £5k pay than ever use annual leave to work less. I'm barely conscious it is Christmas.

>>467996
#grindset

>>467997
You can't neglect relationships with family or friends if you don't have any.

>>467996
I have a similar grindset only I do very little actual work and shut my laptop at 5pm. My boss makes me spend my leave which is a generous package that I use to sit in my house doing nothing because I'm tight and have nobody to go on holiday with.

How do you manage to be productive for 65 hours?

>>467996

I don't know, I get paid when I take leave.

Otherlad, don't watch The Rig, it's hitting the "every line is the new daftest thing you've heard" stage of the series.

>>468009
The holiday pay you earned while working previously is released to you, sure, but if you're not working you're missing out on earning. You'll never know the joys of being paid for more days than exist on the calendar.

>>468005
I don't do a mentally or physically challenging job. I don't ever have to think so as long as I can keep my eyes open I'm golden.

>>468024

I'm invited to a fondue party for new year's eve.

Do people actually still do fondue? Seems like kind of a 1970s throwback.

>>468029
The day hot cheese goes out of style is the day I commit a unabummer atrocity so violent and heinous the government bans all reporting of The Event.

>>468047

No, this is going to be a meat fondue.



Where is your god now.

>>468048
Burning like a lit fuse within my chest.

>>468048

i could go for some melted pate and bread sticks to dip in it, sounds bangin'

>>468029

Spent about 70 quid on "christmas shopping" today, (as in food, not gifts etc). Really it's far more than just for christmas though, I'll be working my way through all the duck spring rolls and mini pizzas and shit for most of January I expect.

Then came home and ordered Dominoes to treat myself, because I've been good and haven't ordered a takeaway in literally months, figured I deserve it this once. They've taken all the buy one get one free deals off, so now it's all just shite where you get a pizza and then some other boring carb shite. Ended up going for a deal where you get a large pizza and some chicken, but half the fun used to be where you'd have a second pizza for breakfast the next day.

Why is everything shite now.

>>468062

>Dominoes

They have been shite for some time. And inflation then only made it worse.

When I was still living in my flat near city centre, there was an authentic Italian pizzeria, owned and managed by an Italian family, about a five minute walk away. Outstanding Pizza Sicilia, reasonably priced at about £13. Granted, that was in the Before times. Probably costs £18 now.

What I don't like about Dominoes and other Big Pizza chains is the way that their pizzas tend to be very generic. They're an industrial mass product without any originality. There's frozen pizza at Asda that looks more appealing.

>>468064
Dominos have always been shit. It's pizza for idiots.

>>468068

> It's pizza for idiots.

POTW.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QSUfzQC4zWE

Some last minute ideas.

>>468064
>>468068

Well look at you two gourmands, next you'll be blowing our minds with the revelation McDonalds isn't the best burger on planet Earth either.

Nobody's buying Domino's because they think it's good pizza, you dense fucks.

>>468075

>Nobody's buying Domino's because they think it's good pizza, you dense fucks.

That still doesn't mean that there's no point moaning about how shit they are.

>>468076

Yeah, but it does mean there's little point acting like you are clever for realising they've always been crap. That's missing the point entirely. There's a big difference between junk food that you know is rubbish but scratches an itch for salty fatty greasy gluttony, and just shit that's a complete waste of money.

>>468077

Dominos used to be properly awful, but now it's perfectly serviceable. It's not good pizza, but it's fine. I'd rank it slightly below Pizza Hut, but well above Papa John's.

People get Domino's for the same reason people will go to Costa or Starbucks over a local coffee shop. They want consistency and familiarity.

Anyway, I've spent most of the morning watching YouTube videos on cooking ready for the big day.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGFLlEALh8U


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=meHfrktmvIo

>>468077

>Yeah, but it does mean there's little point acting like you are clever for realising they've always been crap.

Welcome to .gs. Where every fragile cunt thinks they're really a complete genius.

See, I did kind of agree with >>468077 regarding folk being too judgemental about his pizza, and giving him the classic forum advice of "just do this completely different thing instead of what you want". But then >>468090 clearly has a bag of spuds and tries to spin it into something completely different, and I'm like "all this could have been avoided if otherlad had just orded himself a nicer pizza".

I suppose the important thing is that I don't actually give a shite either way. Far more important to me is that Communion is no longer available to watch on Amazon Prime, something that has thrown my evening into a state of total chaos. What will take it's place now? The Long Good Friday? Or an overly long review I've seen three times already, of a game I played for a while when I was 13? Who can possibly say... ?

>>468101

>Far more important to me is that Communion is no longer available to watch on Amazon Prime


This is why physical media was superior to streaming.

You will own nothing, and you will be happy.

Dad's Army Christmas special is currently on the telly. I don't know if it was funnier when I was a child, or if I only laughed at it then because the rest of my family laughed at it.

>>468102
While I wouldn't disagree, I don't have a DVD of Communion to hand, so it's a moot point at the moment.

>You will own nothing, and you will be happy.
Shut up, you wally.

>>468105

I did say physical media was superior. Unfortunately, that is lost on the young generation who have grown up in the last ten years. They'll never know.


>Shut up, you wally.

Oh, you.

>>468106
>I did say physical media was superior. Unfortunately, that is lost on the young generation who have grown up in the last ten years. They'll never know.
Sort of. But I work in a shop and I see teens buying DVDs and CDs. While it's not the majority of them, I don't think it's true that owning media is a completely dead idea. People who care about film, music or reading will continue to buy physical copies, but you won't get the people who are currently watching Elf and Last Christmas passively building up a big collection of tapes and DVDs, like they would have done twenty years ago. Is that actually a bad thing? In the sense that a huge swathe of the population like things that are objectively crap, yes. However, they liked things that were objectively crap in 2000, and they also bought video tapes of those things, video tapes that were only ever going to wind up in landfill, one way or another. I could definitely see an argument for how fewer people reading books, newspapers and going to the cinema are negatives for all kinds of reasons. However, if I were to get properly philosophical about the second decade of the 21st century, I would suggest that the void in the centre of politics where the ideas should be, is a much bigger problem than an overabundance of new technology. You might ask what that has to do with anything, but neo-liberalism is to blame for Amazon's The Rings of Power, not the other way around.

Anyway, back on track. It's possible for physical media and streaming to exist alongside one another. Especially as streaming platforms continue to make the case for physical media by doing things like removing Communion before I've had a chance to watch it, or the thousand other ways they're quite crap. However, I still don't think everyone should be buying physical copies of everything all of the time.

There's also the accessibility argument. Yeah, I can't watch Communion tonight, but I can watch a host of other things, and on the better streaming platforms (IE, the terrestrial broadcaster's websites) you can still find your way quite easily to lots of great stuff. Even if "Britbox" did silo off, seemingly forever, a lot of older series.

>>468102

Piracy has always been superior to both.

Aha, I have my revenge now, pizza elitists.

>>468108

It depends. Are we talking blu ray rips by somebody who knows what they are doing, or shaky camcorder screen rips with people talking over the sound. During the heyday of movie piracy, screen rips were the bane of filesharing and torrents. Many newer movies, and not just the ones that obviously weren't out on physical media yet, near enough only existed on filesharing sites as mediocre screen rips. Which was very frustrating, and decidedly not better than nothing.

The council have brought forward bin day from tomorrow to today. From a quick look outside, I reckon only about one-third of the houses down my street have put their bin out.

Recycling isn't going to get collected until the 14th, four weeks since the previous one, which is ridiculous.

Christmas gifts sorted. Some shite hamper of wine and biscuits and fudge for the parents, some fancy treats and a treat ball for the dog, all giftwrapped off Amazon delivered tomorrow for under £50.

It still feels like a 50 quid end of year tax, mind, because I don't particularly like my family and I am completely and transparently only buying them anything at all, or even visiting them, out of obligation.

Thought it I popped to M&S Food at about 9am for a few last minute bits it wouldn't be too busy. I was wrong.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQrvmY5s2mo

>>468125

If Starmer kills all the old people, I will let him have a go on my arse. He can even spunk up there if he wants.

I've been planning my Xmas dinner for weeks and a couple days ago I've completely lost my sense of taste and smell FML.

>>468127
Unfortunately for your Starmer-arse-shenanigans, it's looking like a mild winter this year.

Joel Harver as the Grinch is great, take a look if you haven't already;
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQLJNCDa4GA

Here we go, the three days where it actually feels a bit Christmasy.
I always enjoy a trip into town on Christmas Eve a theres usually a brass band or a choir on the go in the marketplace, a lot of hustle and bustle. But people seem to be nicer.

Made hollandaise sauce last night as a practice for making eggs royale tomorrow morning. It was a bit too buttery, not sure how to counteract that - another yolk, or more lemon, or more pepper? It was okay though. As it doesn't keep very well and I didn't want to waste it I drank it, then realised I drank 125g of butter in one go and felt very unwell all evening.

Today I made blue corn tortillas, as I'm slow cooking a joint of pork tomorrow to make carnitas and my last practice making the tortillas went badly. Think they turned out okay. I hate Christmas dinner so decided to make something I actually want to eat.

I'm not sure what to do with the rind/fat of the pork joint. I don't imagine it slow cooks into a shreddable state very well. I was thinking of slicing it off and making chicharrones but I've run out of white vinegar needed for making the skin crackle up and I'm struggling with the idea of going to Aldi to get some.

I'm a little disappointed in my advent calendar today. It's a Terry's chocolate orange one and behind the door for today, a large one so I had my hopes up for a nice treat, was a single chocolate orange segment.

>>468139

It's interesting how quickly the Grinch became a universal part of Christmas culture. Do you reckon there's something about the Grinch as a character that speaks to us?

>>468153
Spare a thought for the poor kids waking up today to an empty Tony's.

>>468151
>white vinegar needed for making the skin crackl
What's this now? I've made plenty of crackling over the years and never involved any sort of vinegar. It just needs salt and a high heat - the heat alone should do it. Have you been doing something pointless and weird or is this some trick I've not come across?

>>468156
I didn't use it in the end so it's not essential. But if you rub it into the skin as it's cooking it's meant to go crispier and bubblier. I've done it once before and it did have good results.

I ended up cooking the fat and skin earlier today, just oil, salt, and seasoning. Came out mediocre - too much fat on it for it to be a good dry pork scratching, but too crispy for it to be juicy and melt in the mouth. Seasoning worked well - ancho chilli powder and garlic powder.

My girlfriend didn't want any so to add to yesterday's 125g of butter I've eaten a significant amount of pork skin and fat.

Get going with those Christmas Pints lads.

>>468158
I looked it up and I'm not totally cnovinced it would work better than just ensuring a low moisture content. I may try a comparative study in the new year.

I was in a charity shop earlier, and Another rock n roll Christmas by infamous carpet-bagger Gary Glitter was pumping out around the shop. Bit unexpected.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ryVG5LHRMJ4

Saw a racist ad for a crypto-currency-memecoin on a digital billboard today.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

>>468165
What's going on with dolphin rape these days anyway? Having used imageboards for decades I thought that I was used to how mindlessly grim it can be but as I'm bored at Christmas I decided to scroll Twitter and it's absolutely awful. It's not even jokes, people are just posting outright bullshit and openly trying to provoke race riots.

Yes I looked at Bluesky but the first page was some woman openly talking about how we should kill her opponents. It's not chill at all.

NOT LONG NOW LADS.

>>468167
One minute. I should be out looking for sleighs.

IT'S BRITFAAAAAAA.GS!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IbYsV1pfsWU

I'm going to put on Silent Night, Deadly Night now.

Really the only movie fit for Christmas. Forget movies like It's a Wonderful Life.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=afLeqqv2z44

>>468167
If you're reading this, you made it to the worst day of the year. Well done, fuck-up.

>>468166
Can't rightly say I know the wider "dolphin rape scene", if you will. But as I keep saying, everyone is going mental and that's probably a bad thing.

The Nativity! film is weird. They take the kids on an impromptu field trip to a maternity ward so they can watch a baby being born and nobody gets sacked for it.

Merry Christmas lads. Did Santa bring you owt nice? I got a set of Masterchef kitchen knives, but I won't be using them out of solidarity for Are Gregg. Few sweets and choccies and fifteen quid off me nan.

Going to have an Erdinger and then crack open the port. I did buy a steak and some fancy bits, but I don't think I'll get around to cooking cause I can't be arsed doing the dishes. Just gonna get drunk, watch Wallace and Gromit, and play video games.

How many bottles of piss can one keep in your room before it becomes socially unacceptable?

>>468175
1 overnight.

>>468176
From what I can see I'm at three cider bottles, a strawberry Volvic bottle that's now closer in colour to brown than yellow, a bottle of Tango (only half full of piss), at least two Cravendale semi-skimmed milk bottles (those smell the worst if you give 'em a sniff), a large plastic cup that originally held a delivered milkshake and around half a dozen bottles of Yazoo of various sizes.

You're telling me this is a bit of a faux pas?

>>468177
Only if someone else sees them which I assume is unlikely, at least until your corpse brings the police in with its own smell.

>>468177 >>468178
Make that four cider bottles.

Merry Christmas.

>>468177
Imagine you've been visited by the ghosts of Pissmas Past, throw open the drapes and launch them out the window.

If I had one suggestion for Jesus (or the government) it would be to add more of a tradition for a proper kip in the morning. I suppose I can't complain too much, my brother has been up since 4 in the morning with his kids.

They liked the presents if you were wondering >>467750. The lad seems to be having the best Christmas of his life.

>>468174
One of those office golf things.

I'm gonna blow my own trumpet. Today I've made the best sprouts and best cauliflower cheese I've ever had in my life.

>>468177

Jesus lad. I was ashamed that I have been using milk bottles to piss in at night because it's freezing in my bathroom, but I have only had one or two on the go at a time.

You can't just leave them lying around everywhere, the longer they stay there the more they stink when you try and pour them out, and if they stink too much your whole flat will reek of piss just by emptying them. That means you can't empty them, so you'll have to just put them in the bin, and then you'll be paranoid your neighbours will see your piss bottles chucked in the communal bins because you used an Asda carrier bag with your name on the label from an online delivery.

... Not that I've ever had that problem, just that's where it'll end up if you let it get out of control.

>>468182

I had some smoked salmon on toast for breakfast, and the cheese sauce I made was so strong it tasted like these fuckers. I was pretty happy with that.

>>468174
>Did Santa bring you owt nice?
I got some rock-solid brilliance, plus a couple of total mysteries. I don't need a new wallet, but Johnnie Walker Gold Label whiskey is exactly what I asked for so that's a winner. Every other present comes from my new philosophy that the best thing to buy someone is a hobby, so I have a cool stone-carving kit and a book on how to do woodwork and some other arts and crafts shit.

Not bad for someone with only three relatives.

I know it's not very festive, but we should kill Steven Moffat.

Costume for black Doctor Who is shite. I've nothing against a racial playing the doctor, it's better than a bird if you ask me, but how have they dropped the ball so badly with the costume? He could have looked suave as fuck, instead he looks like he just fell through a charity shop.

I've not being paying any attention to the plot of this episode mind, it's Doctor Who, last time it was good I was still a virgin.

>>468187

Really nice coat, but what's wit rest er it?

Philomena Cunk spotted

>>468187
The glamourous assistant is fat n all. 🤢

This is just exactly the same plot as Wrong Trousers isn't it.

Sick of that twat Wallace. It's just one fuck up after another with him, and Gromit has to go through hell to bail his arse out every time.

>>468193

Proper fucking div inn 'e. Same fert copper. Young brown lass ont ball entire time but none er it mattered because the plot was ultimately resolved by a deus ex machina arse pull anyway. Why is everything so shite nowadays.

Reckon I'm a bit pissed anyway. Might have a nap.

>>468192
Wallace & Gromit has lost its soul in the modern age, and this new one was all about things losing their soul in the modern age. In my opinion, that made it brilliant. They'll never recapture the magic of The Wrong Trousers, but this one was easily as good as any of the others.

Where do Wallace and Gromit live, anyway? I always assumed South Yorkshire but they seem to have been placed in Lancashire for this one.

>>468195

It's always been set in some vaguely Lancashire-ish town, but one of those right on the border with Yorkshire. It's one of those where if you drove for 20 minutes you'd be in Hudderssfield, like Diggle or Bacup or summat. Wallace has a distinctly West Yorkshire accent, but all the other characters sound like they are from Bolton or Blackburn.

>>468190

Nicola Coughlan is an 11/10 hottie and if you think otherwise you're in the wrong place.

>>468195>>468197
Wigan.

>>468198
Mate she's not. They showed an actual fit woman during the ending montage, think she was on the phone or something.

You're not on /x/ mate, the chubby chasers are outnumbered here.

And come on, it's just because she's fat and confident isn't it? I'd she wasn't fat you wouldn't care.

I'm very much not one of the Rubenesque romancers and I think Nicola Coughland is actually dead fit. She seems like a laugh and her tits are amazing, if you need anything else you're a lost soul.

>>468201
She looks like a chubby child, I honestly couldn't. I can't imagine a less flattering image, surely she's capable of looking like an adult?

>>468202
I'm glad I wasn't the only one thinking this, only without the child imagery.

Yeah I partly say that because I still would and my type probably means I'm doomed to women under 5'4 but short women are a little off-putting for me. As a tall bloke you notice that short lasses do start to prey on you too. I'm sure you've all seen enough lanky blokes with short and plump partners.

>>468201
She got her wabs out in Doctor Who?

>>468204
I think it's because she reminds me of my first girlfriend, who wasn't chubby but was a child. As was I, officer, but there's something like...weirdly formless. I know I saw some great tits at that age and they were more mature than these.

She's 37. Angela Rayner became a grandmother at 37. I know that we're all more sensitive about carpet-bagging these days, but surely 37 isn't a grey area yet, even for short chubby lasses with good skin.

I feel like some of you have no appreciation for the whole of a woman. You'd wank to a plank of wood if it had good tits or a pot belly.

>>468208
On the contrary, we're all big fans of their wholes.

I just found out that gingerbread gives me heartburn.

Does Boxing day and the entire run up to New year still class as Christmas?

>>468211

>>468211
Today is the last day I will wear my Christmas jumper. But it's still the wider Christmas period, much like the 15th of December is.

Can any of you open Brazil nuts with your hands? Two hands and two nuts are allowed.

>>468211
I think yeah as a lot of people take the working days off between Christmas and New Year as a block and nobody is really working hard until the second-week of January.

We're now in that time of Christmas where you finish off the sweet tins, eat türkiye sandwiches and consider boxing day sales.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ve-odNt7BLU

>>468216
My ad-blocker must be broken, all I can see is an advert for pot noodle, there's no content.

Matilda the Musical is on BBC One right now. I don't mind that I really hate it, but I looked it up on Wikipedia and apparently the critical reception was overwhelmingly positive. This makes me angry, because how can so-called experts be so wrong? The moralising is so heavy-handed, the characters are so two-dimensional, the singing children are so high-pitched, the songs are all by Tim Minchin who's overrated and shit, and it also has Sindhu Vee in it who is even worse. And when did they pass a law that all films made in the UK need to have Emma Thompson in? It's just weird. What kompromat does she have access to?

>>468218
I don't mind it. It's probably a more faithful adaptation of the book than the version with Mara Wilson and Danny DeVito.

Then again, people hate the Oompa Loompa songs from the Johnny Depp version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, even though they're the actual lyrics in the book, because they're different from the original film.

>>468218

>What kompromat does she have access to?

I think she just sucked a lot of important knobs.

I'm glad Christmas is over. Never cared much for it.

That Wallace and Gromit was a bit disapointing, wasn't it? Granted I stopped paying attention about half way through, but there was simply too much exposition. 3 times within the first 5 minutes Wallace mentions his love for inventing, as if we don't know who the fuck he is? Compared to The Wrong Trousers and the moon one shown earlier in the day, which explain nothing but show everything, it was almost patronising. The new one had the same comedy beat but with a whole lot of faff between, not limited to the numerous excess characters and world built beyond necessary for the story.

A genuinely enjoyable moment however was the reveal of the motorbike and sidecar - I actually felt good, with a great bit grin of appreciation.

>>467743
The Magic Eye books went down okay, other than one of the young nephews being scared of his (He seems to have some fear of eyes? The Wallace and Grommit gnome shit him up). Mum might have performed her interest, but it was appreciated regardless.

To 'prove' they weren't secretly for me, I made a point of not looking at them before wrapping. A recpit fell out of one, revealing they all cost less than a fiver. Was well embarrassed.

>>468219
People hate the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory songs because the music is absolutely God-awful.

I spent two days out of the house sleeping on the cold floors and two seat sofas of various reletives. I had a pretty nice time; somewhat disapointed to be back home alone but I need some decent sleep.

We had Christmas dinner in a church - I was expecting the atmosphere to be Dickensian, all of us sat along one single wooden bench sharing plates of meat and veg, standing to pass around strangers and friend alike. Instead it was a somewhat awkward gathering of seperate groups struggling to mingle, with dedicated church goers trying to get Christmas Spirit and conversation going. Many people left after it was annouced dinner would be late. Only 60 of 150 plates were served.
I'd probably do it again. It was really nice to be around strangers and share Christmas, but it's a lot of work when you're not used to socialising. Some experiences still feel off, though, and I keep recalling certain things that're troubling my mind. My account is straying toward /emo/ territory so I'll wrap it up here.

Could you believe I actually missed this place, a bit? Merry Christmas chaps, and a happy new year.

>>468169
Lol

>>468222
It beat my expectations for it although a lot of that has to do with Peter Kay I reckon. Keep in mind there's been a lot of Wallace and Gromit films made over the years, this was by no means as good as Wrong Trousers (and the gnome was annoying) but it does feel like they put the effort in this time.

My complaint is the do-everything action woman with lots of spunk is a tired trope and she wasn't given anything to do. Almost like she was a concession to get it made...

>it was almost patronising

I reckon they did to to try to crack the international market. We all know exactly who these people are but Wallace and Gromit isn't as well-known abroad as you'd think, Sean the Sheep might actually have a bigger footprint which is why I wasn't surprised that the farmer from it had a cameo.

>>468224
Do you reckon the priest deliberately set it up to be an allegory of the long spoons just to see what happens? He was expecting people to either cooperate in sharing plates around or get stuck with one side in-front of them but was foiled by the British capacity to chuckle and quietly leave when awkward socialising is involved.

Is it unethical to wank on Boxing Day? When would be acceptable; tomorrow earliest?

>>468225
>My complaint is the do-everything action woman with lots of spunk is a tired trope and she wasn't given anything to do. Almost like she was a concession to get it made...

>>468222

It just felt really rushed more than anything, like they were going for a plot more akin to a feature length film, but squeezed it all into a TV episode length. The comedy was on point, though, lots of gags you saw coming before they happened but the joke still lands (the zoom out to the narrowboats going slowly is the big example that comes to mind), that's a difficult style of comedy to pull off but it's something Aardman seem exceptionally good at. So overall it was good enough, but at this point it's one of those things like a new Metallica album- You know it will never be really great, it'll always be just alright, but forgettable.

...

Anyway I am proud of you all for not bringing it up but I'll take one for the team and say what you're all thinking: Is real life Wigan that diverse? I suppose it could be to be fair, Lancashire must have its own Dewsbury. But it did seem forced. Also the copper called Mukherjee reminded me strongly of those school textbooks you'd get where it was like they tried to use the most obviously ethnic names possible, like "Alice has two apples. Rajvindapoot has three apples. How many apples do they both have?", just in case we didn't notice she's brown by looking.

>>468229
>Is real life Wigan that diverse?
I assume that it is - there are only a couple of foreigns with speaking parts, after all - but I just can't believe that Asian women join the police in noticeable numbers. We all know the police are entirely white male hooligan chronic masturbators.