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>> No. 23560 Anonymous
16th November 2016
Wednesday 6:49 pm
23560 Minor angst and existential dread, Mk. I
We tend to have a lot of repeated threads here, but I also get the feeling people don't tend to post in /emo/ unless it's a big issue.

With this in mind I suggest that we have a thread for stuff that's got you down a bit and you need to get off your chest, without it being major enough to make an entire thread devoted to it. We can also use it as a go-to for minor relationship advice, work problems, social drama, and things like that.

Everyone gets down from time to time, let's put some Sisters of Mercy on and wallow together for a while.
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>> No. 30032 Anonymous
25th September 2020
Friday 7:05 pm
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>>30026
>>30027
>>30028
>>30029
>>30030

Cheers lads, it actually means a lot. Might head into the Discord at some point although I am feeling a lot better today.
>> No. 30033 Anonymous
25th September 2020
Friday 7:11 pm
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>>30031
>There's not much I can do about it, it's mostly really inconsequential shit from a couple of years ago, where only time will eventually allow me to let go of it. But until then it tends to come back on me when I've nothing to distract myself with.

When I'm suffering from ennui I force myself to go for a walk. At the very least it will help you sleep if it doesn't restart your mood. Maybe pedestrians will be idiots again and you can occupy your mind with rage.

To make the conversation all about me, do you also get that thing where you remember every time you could've had sex but didn't? I'm still not over how I managed to break my own heart at university by not sleeping with a girl I was absolutely smitten with on multiple occasions. I really wish I'd talked to you lads about that so maybe you'd have leapt into my body to break the impasse. It would likely have been a whole lot of stress but goddamn it, I was so happy when I was with her.
>> No. 30034 Anonymous
26th September 2020
Saturday 7:07 am
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>>30033

I don't spend a lot of time thinking about opportunities I missed, but I spend a lot of time thinking about how my current sex life compares to previous partners.

I get a lot of "Man, why the fuck did I leave Anonette, she was a dirty bitch and she used to worship my cock like a real slag constantly telling me how big I am and how horny it makes her. My current partner will barely keep it in her mouth for more than a minute. She's so shit. I hate her."

In reality I know exactly why I left Anonette and why my current partner is a better match. But in those moments I'm just consumed with this weird sort of jealousy for my past self, and a resentment that no matter how much we talk about the subject or how much I try to encourage her, my current partner will just never be the kind of enthusiastic slag I want her to be.

Such is life. Typing it out on here usually helps a lot funnily enough. Forgive me Father.
>> No. 30035 Anonymous
26th September 2020
Saturday 6:18 pm
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I am struggling to come to terms with the fact I used to be a very unpleasant person. Very spiteful, talked shit about people behind their back, engaged in gossip. I was not alone in this - my friendship group at the time all behaved like this. But in my later years I've tried to turn a new leaf, not be a judgmental prick. But I feel like I've burned a lot of bridges in my social circle. How do I show people I've changed for the better?
>> No. 30036 Anonymous
26th September 2020
Saturday 6:21 pm
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>>30035
>How do I show people I've changed for the better?
You can't force that, it'll just come across as manipulative. Just keep on doing what you're doing and the people who are willing to see your change, will.
>> No. 30037 Anonymous
26th September 2020
Saturday 7:20 pm
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>>30035

I wouldn't bother, don't go looking for forgiveness from people you've wronged in the past, it's only your ego seeking approval. If they want to give you another chance that's up to them. Instead, focus on making new mates and building a healthy social circle.

I'm pretty sure everyone's a bit of a dickhead until they're about 25 or so, anyway. I wouldn't lose sleep over it.
>> No. 30039 Anonymous
26th September 2020
Saturday 8:31 pm
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>>30038
>it sounds like the classic struggle of the id and the super ego. the super ego has a long list of by the numbers of why you should 'stick with your wife', but the id knows what rings it bell and it ain't this. The super ego might make the more sensible argument but that doesn't mean you should ignore the id, in fact most who do find they end up doing stupid shit when they are drunk that they can't really explain even to themselves why they did it.
Am I going crazy or was this really difficult to read?
>> No. 30040 Anonymous
27th September 2020
Sunday 2:36 pm
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>>30039
Your id was probably telling you to ignore it whilst your superego was saying "pay attention".
>> No. 30041 Anonymous
5th October 2020
Monday 5:09 pm
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I've seen no less than three of my social media acquantances retweet a tweet saying "do you consider yourself attractive", and them replying with "no" or some variation thereof recently. This in spite of them being attractive - and they know it, to a storm of replies saying "nooo! you're attractive!". If someone who was genuinely ugly/unattractive retwatted it, it'd just be awkward and a bit sad, so all this exists solely to do is boost the egos of people who know they are already attractive.

I know it's not something that should even cross my mind, really, but it just seems so transparent to me, and as a complete uggo (so yes, there is a jealousy factor involved), it rubs me up the wrong way.
>> No. 30042 Anonymous
5th October 2020
Monday 10:25 pm
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Oof, lads, be careful which SD cards you find in a draw while digging around for something else, because they might just have audio recordings of the only woman you've ever properly loved on them
>> No. 30052 Anonymous
8th October 2020
Thursday 11:57 am
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How do you talk about taboo sexual topics witout offending people.
>> No. 30053 Anonymous
8th October 2020
Thursday 12:09 pm
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>>30052

I think you need to be more specific. Are you trying to introduce a prudish girlfriend to bum fun? Are you asking your nan if she likes fisting at your granddad's funeral? Are you trying to chat up the kids at your local primary school?
>> No. 30054 Anonymous
8th October 2020
Thursday 2:13 pm
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>>30053
>Are you trying to chat up the kids at your local primary school?

Let's be honest, posts like >>30052 are always some form of this.
>> No. 30055 Anonymous
8th October 2020
Thursday 2:51 pm
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>>30054
It was just a joke, lad. Who knew that someone would get offended by rubbing an iPhone on a baby's fanny?
>> No. 30056 Anonymous
8th October 2020
Thursday 2:58 pm
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>>30053
>>30054
I'm trying to address my fear of sexuality, not fucking network. I'm terrified that the only people who wouldn't be offended are the type to exploit or encourage it. As threads pop up on the subjects I feel as though they're intended specifically to draw my reaction for those purposes, so I suppress it like I have done since puberty.
It was a mistake to mention here. I should try to talk to a doctor again, I just don't know what to say without wasting their time.
>> No. 30057 Anonymous
8th October 2020
Thursday 3:06 pm
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>>30056
I imagine a doctor would be able to find you a counsellor with some experience in this field.
>> No. 30058 Anonymous
8th October 2020
Thursday 5:12 pm
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>>30056
>As threads pop up on the subjects I feel as though they're intended specifically to draw my reaction
Might it help if you reminded yourself how paranoid that is? I doubt purple cares what you think about when you diddle yourself.
>> No. 30059 Anonymous
9th October 2020
Friday 7:46 pm
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>>30042
>draw
*drawer

You're from Northhumberland and I claim my 5 pounds.
>> No. 30060 Anonymous
9th October 2020
Friday 10:18 pm
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If you are afraid of sexuality, you could try talking to a whore. The have a lot of practical experience, are open minded, and I am sure will happily talk with you on any subject so long as you pay them.
>> No. 30061 Anonymous
10th October 2020
Saturday 2:29 am
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I once heard someone say that "if you win the morning, you win the day", and I've noticed that when I start my day off without an internet connection, the entire day turns out to be productive and awesome, and I go to bed filled with positive vibes that create a cascade effect for the next day. If, on the other hand, I have an internet connection, I spend much of the day chasing ephemera, in a state of mindless consumption looking for the next titilating youtube video, imageboard thread, ebay deal, reply to my own imageboard posts, etc.

I feel as if our thought processes have been hijacked by a consumerist society reliant on endless growth, and that everything around us is tailored to sabotage us as genoowine human beings while maximising us as consumers. Much of what I think is "myself" is the product of mental scaffolding erected there by external forces, but when I start dismantling it I feel dangerously close to weird feelings of depersonalition/derrealisation.

Woteva. Just some drunk rambling.
>> No. 30062 Anonymous
10th October 2020
Saturday 3:37 pm
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>>30061
I'm with you there, if i have a great morning and get shit done (whether that's work or hobbies) I tend to feel a lot better about myself. Whereas if i just 'chill out' and mess around on the internet I tend to enjoy myself past the point of pleasure if that makes sense?

I also tend to think that what a lot of people advertise as their personalities these days tend to be algorithmically tailored by social media, youtube and spending too much time on the internet. Which sounds like i'm up my own arse but I recognise myself in that too.
>> No. 30067 Anonymous
11th October 2020
Sunday 2:55 pm
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Sometimes my job requires some pretty repetitive, mindless work. I don't mind it on its own, sometimes I even enjoy the prospect of spending a couple of hours doing something that requires absolutely zero mental energy.

However some days it seems like my brain is determined to stick itself in a loop of negative thoughts. It'll either be minor sleights my partner has inflicted like not picking my parcel up for the post office even though I went to the shops for her on my day off the other week, or it'll be unresolved instances of conflict like that time I just innocently glanced over at a guy in the pub as he was rolling a fag and he made this gawping "What?" face at me and all his mates laughed. My thoughts typically then drift into what would have been cathartic things to have said or done in the heat of the moment, and violent fantasies of revenge on these random strangers.

I feel like my mental wellbeing is infested by a kind of black mold like you'd get in a dodgy low-rent flat, built out of all the tiny injustices I've suffered over the years, and that nobody cares about. I feel like I could do with a healthy outlet for aggression, but where exactly does one turn for that in today's world? I can't think of any situation where actually letting out a bit of pent up anger is allowed and not considered toxic masculinity or whatever. I was actually in a metal band before, and that did the trick, but that's a no-go during the current situation.

The only other solution is to just try and brainwash myself into not having that emotion, but ultimately, that's just not how things work, in my opinion. Bottling things up or suppressing them is exactly what tends to lead to the worst kind of legitimate neuroses if you ask me.
>> No. 30068 Anonymous
11th October 2020
Sunday 3:16 pm
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>>30067
>I feel like I could do with a healthy outlet for aggression, but where exactly does one turn for that in today's world?
Exercise.
>> No. 30069 Anonymous
11th October 2020
Sunday 4:10 pm
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>>30067
>Bottling things up or suppressing them is exactly what tends to lead to the worst kind of legitimate neuroses if you ask me.

You're absolutely right about that, have you looked into any kind of therapy? You said your brain gets stuck in loops of negative thoughts, CBT might be helpful for that and you can get it for free online/over the phone at the moment, but you may have to wait a month or so depending on your area.
>> No. 30070 Anonymous
11th October 2020
Sunday 4:56 pm
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>>30068

I've tried this, but I'm not sure it works for me. How angry can you get on a jog? Am I supposed to be screaming expletives while pumping weights? I dunno.

>>30069

Cheers, but I'm not sure it's as bad as all that. Mostly when I'm occupied it doesn't bother me, it's just those occasions where you woke up on the wrong side of the bed that day and you have a lengthy period with little else to ruminate on. If I'd got it out of my system in another manner it wouldn't be stewing like that I reckon.
>> No. 30071 Anonymous
11th October 2020
Sunday 5:04 pm
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>>30070
>Am I supposed to be screaming expletives while pumping weights?

Weights definitely make me swear, but I'm a little piece of shit.
>> No. 30072 Anonymous
11th October 2020
Sunday 6:12 pm
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>>30070

Not claiming this is healthy for a moment, but otherlad here to say I lift weights to exhaustion and then sit in a very hot sauna while thinking about exactly the kind of irritating and insulting scenarios you describe.

Afterwards I take a cold shower and it's like nothing can bother me for the rest of that day, but there is obviously a limit to the number of times you can do this per week and not hurt yourself.
>> No. 30073 Anonymous
11th October 2020
Sunday 6:28 pm
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>>23560

>no job
>no education
>mentally fucked
>economy is fucked
>life is fucked
>country may be entirely fucked my 2021

I'm just tired of all this shite. I don't want to suicide but I'm just so tired. How do you cope with such negative emotions. How do you be strong like everyone else manages to so easily? I feel like a pussyboi. I want to be a man.
>> No. 30074 Anonymous
11th October 2020
Sunday 7:04 pm
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>>30072
I'm jealous that your gym still has an open sauna. Every hotel/gym/pool ive been in since March has had theirs off limits.

Sitting in a sauna is probably the one thing I miss most - wish we had them in our gardens (like the Swedes/Finns) instead of sheds.
>> No. 30075 Anonymous
11th October 2020
Sunday 7:14 pm
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>>30073
Okay I might be totally wrong and have my head in the clouds so anyone feel free to tell me so. I get that you're in a situation that one post on the internet by a guy with different experiences isn't going to resolve, but my take is that a lot of these things are based on shame of not having 'achieved things' and worrying about the future, I'm guessing to the point where you feel no hope in improvement or you have no idea what you'd do to alleviate things. But that sense of shame tbh is a bit of a spook.

I'm saying all this stuff because I know people in your situation who do have good education and potential but are sunk in a mire of self doubt and negativity and don't move themselves forward. Your situation could be more precarious than theirs', but it's about attitude, really. I won't pretend I've got any magic cures, it's such a tough place to move on from, but I think a root of this is passiveness, being inclined to accept the hopeless perspective of things.

If you start thinking about it this way, you suddenly see passiveness everywhere in yourself and you then need to try and resist it. Cheesy mindfulness aphorisms might infuriate you but when you see your efforts to apply yourself finally start paying off they make sense. Nothing was ever guaranteed to anyone so don't feel put off by the thought of failing or losing. Every hero in history and fiction fails and loses all the time anyway.
>country may be entirely fucked my 2021
Unless you're Armenian, same boat.
>> No. 30116 Anonymous
16th October 2020
Friday 2:30 pm
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>>30056
I had a fuck off 3 day wank to gay porn and feel a lot better now. Just got to be more true to yourself, init. I'm still confused but I think it's about moving with those fluctuations of sexuality rather than to resist or deny them - it'll find a way out one way or another so i might aswell guide it in an acceptable direction.
>> No. 30117 Anonymous
16th October 2020
Friday 3:38 pm
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>>30116

This would be a lot easier if you'd just tell us what your issue is, rather than dancing around it.
>> No. 30118 Anonymous
16th October 2020
Friday 3:54 pm
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>>30117
> 3 day wank to gay porn

I don't think he is dancing around it.
>> No. 30122 Anonymous
16th October 2020
Friday 4:57 pm
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>>30118

Gayness isn't taboo any more. Either the lad is dealing with insane amounts of internalised homophobia, or there's more to it than he's letting on.

If he is just gay, then for god's sake lad, calm down. It's fine, nobody is bothered, get yourself on Grindr and dive in to the endless cock buffet.
>> No. 30124 Anonymous
16th October 2020
Friday 9:18 pm
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I'm 28 years old, virgin, never held a job. Not sure what to do or what to aim for.
>> No. 30125 Anonymous
16th October 2020
Friday 9:36 pm
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>>30124
>virgin
Probably best to leave this off your CV. I'll never understand why people qualify this; virgins are very much like vegans in this regard, at least online.

I don't add "can't drive" to any of my existential musings. Just hire a prozzie. Then, when you're no longer a virgin you can stop obsessing over it and concentrate on something more constructive.

I don't say this to be insensitive, escorts are consummate professionals who are really good at their job and part of that is making you feel comfortable with what's happening.
>> No. 30127 Anonymous
17th October 2020
Saturday 1:09 am
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>>30125
I'd advise against a prozzie for your first time. If he's like me where it was also shyness at work then he won't be able to perform with a stranger and the whole experience will be traumatic.

What he needs is a big lass from 'spoons or otherwise anyone interested. That sounds a tad cruel but you really need to lose your virginity with someone your comfortable with who can also provide the other experience in what it's like to be in a relationship. And if it turns into something more long term she might go on the pill and you can avoid having to fuck about with johnnies. I know I'll get shit for that but they're still rubbish.

Sage ticked as employment is obviously the bigger problem than girls but I have fuck all idea how it works at the minute outside of maybe volunteering with the homeless if you have the metal for it.
>> No. 30128 Anonymous
17th October 2020
Saturday 1:50 am
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>>30124
Alright well we were all virgins once and remember holding sex in a kind of mysterical reverence so telling you to get over it is useless. Instead we'll have to help you get your end away.

So come on, why you are a virgin, lad? It's unlikely to be because you're genuinely repulsive or a chore to be around for longer than a fumble so as the lad above says it must be shyness. My advice is to get Tinder or the like and just be persistent until you end up shagging someone. Obviously a lot more difficult to meet up with people at the moment but a dating app remains the most direct route to gash.
>> No. 30129 Anonymous
17th October 2020
Saturday 8:32 am
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I'm not trying to piggy back off another virgin's pity, but when you're an older virgin it's not so much that "oh know, I've never cummed inside another person", it's more that there's a lot of interpersonal and social experiences that go along with that that also haven't happened.

Maybe I'm wrong and it is just the never having done the basic, physical, act of sex for the other poster though, but it seems unlikely.
>> No. 30130 Anonymous
17th October 2020
Saturday 1:02 pm
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>>30124

You should aim to get your dick wet and obtain a job. Clearly those things are important to you.

What to do: lower your standards and be prepared to experience all kinds of emotional and physical pain. You have to start at the bottom and climb through an avalanche of shit. Literally take any job and any hole, and work your way up.
>> No. 30131 Anonymous
17th October 2020
Saturday 1:49 pm
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I'm not sure why, but I just became faintly depressed about backwards time travel being impossible. I can be pretty certain of this because if it were possible human beings would have made such a complete mess of things reality would have broken down in ways that would be halfway between the Fyre Festival and a demonic invasion from another dimension. I think about massive, looming or already upon us problems like fossil fuels, enviromental damage, world hunger and the pandemic, and I'm pretty confident time travel capable humans lay low all of human history with no hessitation or second thoughts. Maybe this is a very 2020 opinion and we'll have TNG'd up in a few hundred years.

Sage because I went from angst to speculative science-fiction.
>> No. 30132 Anonymous
19th October 2020
Monday 11:49 pm
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Don't you feel just a bit sad after spending the day with people, only to find yourself back home alone? I guess it's quite normal, really, i just feel as though something is wrong.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EodytPmki5s
>> No. 30133 Anonymous
20th October 2020
Tuesday 1:42 am
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>>30132
If you work in customer service, people are work. Personally, I relish coming home and not having to deal with them.
>> No. 30134 Anonymous
21st October 2020
Wednesday 12:22 pm
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I would like to experience an emotion other than humilation for just five fucking minutes.
>> No. 30135 Anonymous
21st October 2020
Wednesday 1:43 pm
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>>30134
Why do you feel humiliated?
>> No. 30136 Anonymous
21st October 2020
Wednesday 3:32 pm
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>>30131
I think backwards time travel can exist but you're limited only to between the time the "laser" was switched on and the present. NB because I can't really remember what I'm talking about but the research is out there.
>> No. 30137 Anonymous
21st October 2020
Wednesday 3:35 pm
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>>30136

Like Timecrimes, or Primer.

I get most of my knowledge on theoretical physics from sci-fi.
>> No. 30138 Anonymous
21st October 2020
Wednesday 3:41 pm
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>>30131
Going back in time is simply going to another dimension that is further back in time, if you were to change things in that universe and come back to the "present" (this universe) nothing would have changed.
It's not about going back and forth, it's about going sideways.

Sage because wrong thread for this.
>> No. 30139 Anonymous
21st October 2020
Wednesday 3:48 pm
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>>30138
What about a time machine that reassembles the universe to a previous state with perfect accuracy. Technically it would actually be the future but for all practical purposes you would be in the past.

Fucks sake. I only came here to share my thought on Aardvarks but that was 40 minutes ago.
>> No. 30140 Anonymous
21st October 2020
Wednesday 4:13 pm
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>>30138

Nonsense. Time is a spatial dimension just like up, down, forwards and backwards. The past and future is happening simultaneously to the present. The beginning meets the end, the outer edge meets the opposite side. It's all connected in a great big moebius strip.

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