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>> No. 23560 Anonymous
16th November 2016
Wednesday 6:49 pm
23560 Minor angst and existential dread, Mk. I
We tend to have a lot of repeated threads here, but I also get the feeling people don't tend to post in /emo/ unless it's a big issue.

With this in mind I suggest that we have a thread for stuff that's got you down a bit and you need to get off your chest, without it being major enough to make an entire thread devoted to it. We can also use it as a go-to for minor relationship advice, work problems, social drama, and things like that.

Everyone gets down from time to time, let's put some Sisters of Mercy on and wallow together for a while.
Expand all images.
>> No. 23561 Anonymous
16th November 2016
Wednesday 8:40 pm
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Me first? Me first. I'll try to be coherent and concise.

I don't think I'm on any spectrum, but I am a bit odd. I devote pretty much 100% of my free time to coding, working on whatever useless mad vision I feel like I have to realize, and I'm pretty dedicated. When I'm not inspired - occasional, but often - I do nothing and feel a bit sad.

In the last year I was made redundant by virtue of being the youngest member of a team due for cuts, and I've got a job instead working remotely for a reasonably nice small company. Web dev stuff, but I can't complain.

I enjoy working from home a lot. Much better than 9-5 office hours, which I see as a bit pointless as a coder, and my sleep cycle is always pretty wacky so I was often dinged for not being in on time in the past. None of this now. But I'm living in a flat in a town because of my old work, and now that I don't have to go out, and the wonders of online shopping, the last time I left the house was three months ago for a team meetup, and before that, three months again for the meetup previous.

I'm 24 years old and pretty much a hermit. I'd go out, but I've no friends here, and I hate meeting new people. I'm obnoxious and loud with friends, but meeting new people sets my social anxiety to p. much maximum. I've pretty much convinced myself I don't need to go out and I should be focusing on my side projects anyway, but to any rational person that would seem retarded, and, to be honest, I've been feeling straight-up, unadulterated, lonely lately.

I am also fat, gay, and single. Inviting school friends from round the country would require me to tidy away my dildo collection first. No-one has time for that.
>> No. 23562 Anonymous
16th November 2016
Wednesday 9:12 pm
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>The last time I left the house was three months ago.

Seriously 3 months or is that hyperbole? You should at least be trying to get a basic level of exercise. You are going to be suffering some serious muscle atrophy otherwise, all the time getting fatter until the point you can't leave. I'm not saying do anything athletic, but make sure you go for a walk a few times a week. Homo sapiens weren't built to sit in one place all day, it messes with our health.
>> No. 23563 Anonymous
16th November 2016
Wednesday 9:23 pm
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It's hyperbole, but only because I actually need to go out every 2 or 3 weeks to pick up a repeat prescription at the chemist. It would otherwise be 3 months.

I was very unfit before, but it is a little bit scary, to be honest, how even that can degrade; walking into town does actually feel a little tiring now.
>> No. 23564 Anonymous
16th November 2016
Wednesday 9:37 pm
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Given other circumstances I can see myself in this situation (except I'm fairly sure I'm not gay, even if I secretly like Taylor Swifts older stuff).

I am also a coder (currently sans job) and I won't work remotely precisely because I value the social interaction.

Regarding social anxiety, you can beat it with practice.
>> No. 23565 Anonymous
16th November 2016
Wednesday 10:03 pm
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Get up during daylight hours. Do some work at the library or a cafe. Exercise daily - a brisk half hour walk is fine. Find something to do with your time other than programming.

When you're a bit more used to being out in the world, look on meetup.com for something that piques your interest. A programming meetup, a board games club, whatever. You don't have to be the life and soul of the event, just turn up. Anxiety is always worse in anticipation than in fact; you might be dreading walking through the door, but that's likely to be the peak of your anxiety. If you're really struggling, speak to your GP.

Make plans. Short-term (today), medium-term (the next few weeks) and long-term (the next year). Try to stick to them, but don't beat yourself up if you let things slip. Focus on incremental progress and practical action.
>> No. 23566 Anonymous
16th November 2016
Wednesday 11:02 pm
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Biggest problem with this sort of thing is willpower. When I was on the dole I was pretty similar, I would only go out to the job centre and then come back to sit and play games because I was too despondent to do much else. It's all well and good people telling you that you need to do X, Y, and Z if, like me, you are very good at just saying "Ah well, there's always tomorrow."

You need to find something that scares you into action (not ending up like that fat guy on Youtube who gets angry at Blizzard), or a goal worthy of working towards (getting a boyfriend maybe?), or else you will find you can pretty much carry on like this indefinitely.
>> No. 23567 Anonymous
17th November 2016
Thursday 9:19 am
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Start doing yoga. Ideally with other people in a class, but if that's not feasible do it only. There is decent free stuff, even in YouTube.

As a certified yoga master I'll happily recommend stuff.
>> No. 23568 Anonymous
17th November 2016
Thursday 9:25 am
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Off the top of my head Yoga with Adriene is pretty good. She has a day by day 30 challenge which might be perfect for you. Do try to get some fresh air as well.
>> No. 23569 Anonymous
17th November 2016
Thursday 11:56 am
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I'd get down on her dog IYKWIM
>> No. 23570 Anonymous
18th November 2016
Friday 5:36 pm
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Anyone else been in a weird state of mind over the past few days? Angry or depressed?

Supermoon. Seriously.
>> No. 23571 Anonymous
18th November 2016
Friday 8:36 pm
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I guess I have been a little anxious and irritable lately. Although being surrounded by clowns I had assumed it was a normal reaction.

Maybe man-periods cycle with the moon like women's do?
>> No. 23572 Anonymous
18th November 2016
Friday 9:17 pm
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I've felt weirdly hyper and talkative. Maybe I'm moonkin
>> No. 23573 Anonymous
18th November 2016
Friday 9:41 pm
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Correlation does not imply causation.
>> No. 23574 Anonymous
19th November 2016
Saturday 1:54 am
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I don't know if this is minor or not, but I've just had a breakdown all thanks to a council gritter.

I haven't had a good day in 3 months, and today was about to be the first. What I thought was going to be a £500 repair job on my car turned out to be nothing, I got a Sperg and anxiety diagnosis so I can actually put some concrete shit behind what's wrong with me, I got out of the house for a while and had some social interaction with like minded people... then on the drive back I was behind the aforementioned gritter, but the gritting was so coarse and dense that I was sliding all over the road. I overtook the gritter and in the process it left a chip in my windscreen as well as a fair bit of paint damage.

While I am covered on my insurance it's just a shit end to what could have been my first 'looking up' day in months, and it all just came to a head. I just want to escape, to leave this fucking place and not come back. I ended up walking the streets near my house fucking sobbing like a little kid, eventually just lying on the pavement in the pissing rain at 1am.

Every FUCKING day something else happens, something shit. I haven't enjoyed anything pretty much in the last 3 months because there's always something shit happening to fuck it up. The nature of my job means my holidays are dictated to me, and the next one is Christmas. 5 more weeks, I don't know if I can do it. I need to leave, I have to.
>> No. 23575 Anonymous
19th November 2016
Saturday 2:00 am
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Keep calm, grit your teeth, and carry on.
>> No. 23576 Anonymous
19th November 2016
Saturday 8:35 am
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Good thread OP. If nobody responds to this it isn't the end of the world, it'd be nice just to vent.

My life isn't turning out how I wanted it to be nor expected it to be. I'm feeling a lot of pressure because people always assumed I'd go on to do good things, and currently I'm about to become unemployed due to redundancy.

I was always the smart kid in school who always did well, I went to secondary school, aced that too, then college, then got into a good university, not Oxbridge, but one filled with lots of their rejects.

I studied a traditional subject, did better than a load of my mates who did the same subject and even went out of my way to do extra, studying abroad and placements by winning scholarships. I'm working class, but a few of my posh mates heard this and then got their parents to hook them up with work abroad as they were worried I was doing too much.

We graduated and then poof, nothing. I couldn't get a job doing what I wanted, despite many of my mates with worse degrees and similar experience slipping into the jobs. I fought tooth and nail for a better job. which I've just lost, and even now, I can't get any responses for the job I originally wanted or worse jobs. I'm nearly two years out of university and I'll be sat in my room alone, with no money, applying for jobs at my parents houses.

I have friends who are diplomat trainees, doctors, lawyers on 70k, SPADs, investment bankers, you name it.

I'm honestly so fucking depressed I might just end it or run away and do something gimmicky like teach English in a warm place by the sea.

I know life isn't meant to be fair, but I just always cruised through smashing out the top grades, now I'm putting in the effort I'm rowing but my boat isn't moving.

Just to compound things, the job I am losing, I did far more work than people on double my salary, I never took the piss, was always in early, got great feedback from director level, never caused a fuss and was incredibly reliable. There are people who can't even be arsed turning up sometimes on double what I get.

Ah well, I guess this is what slipping through the cracks feels like.
>> No. 23577 Anonymous
19th November 2016
Saturday 10:34 am
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Autoglass will sort out windscreen damage for a tenner. Rub some T-Cut on those scratches and it'll be reet.

Fucking hell, lad. Stop focusing on what's gone wrong and focus on how to put it right. This is a piece of piss to sort out. It seems like you're actively looking for things, no matter how minor or trivial, to 'ruin' your day.
>> No. 23578 Anonymous
19th November 2016
Saturday 3:40 pm
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You mention work and jobs (and implicitly, social status) in almost every line here. I'm a workshy artist shirker type who is quite happy on the bottom rungs of society and I can find pleasures in life which aren't related to those very stilted, artificial and ultimately unrewarding notions of self-worth. Get a hobby.
>> No. 23579 Anonymous
19th November 2016
Saturday 4:19 pm
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Somewhat in the same boat but you're doing better than me, mate. I never went to college or Uni, I have no career, I just pick up whatever work I can where ever I can. Ended up just traveling around and figure I'll just keep going until I go broke or die or something. So yeah maybe travel? Pretty fun, lots of opportunities can come up, and you might be more likely to find decent work since you have a degree and all.
>> No. 23580 Anonymous
19th November 2016
Saturday 4:41 pm
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Evaluating your self worth is a fool's errand. There's always someone doing better than you, something more to achieve or acquire, some failure that you can't undo. It's like chasing the end of the rainbow - however fast you run, your destination will run away from you. Hippy-dippy as it might sound, the only truly durable sense of self is based on unconditional self acceptance. You might prefer to have a better job or earn more money, but it doesn't mean you're worth any less as a person if you don't achieve those things.
>> No. 23581 Anonymous
20th November 2016
Sunday 11:29 am
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Another lad here, but I relate a lot to that need to measure myself by my achievements.

For me, unconditional self-acceptance is too high a demand. What I've been focusing on the past year is to be realistic about the 'scope' of what I can achieve. As I've become older I've reluctantly accepted I'm never going to be a heart surgeon or an astronaut, but I am certainly going to aim for the high end of what I can become, within my own scope of possibilities.
>> No. 23582 Anonymous
20th November 2016
Sunday 12:32 pm
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Self-acceptance is an ongoing process rooted in self-compassion. All too often, we're our own harshest critic; we say things to ourselves that we would never say to other people. We treat ourselves with needless, gratuitous cruelty. If we treated a partner or a child like that, we'd rightly be accused of abuse.

I learned a useful exercise from Steven C Hayes. Whenever you're being self-critical, imagine that you're speaking to yourself as an eight year old child. Visualise your younger self stood in front of you. Would you harshly criticise that person, or would you be gentle and supportive?

Self-criticism is a perverse kind of defence mechanism. When you introduce people to the idea of self-compassion, there's often a reflexive backlash along the lines of "I don't need that soft shite, I'm a grown man who can take a kicking". Being harsh on yourself is a denial of your own vulnerability. To treat yourself compassionately is to admit that you're not a big hard bastard after all, that a deeply buried part of you is small and scared and sad. In many ways it's harder to be kind to yourself than to be cruel, but it's ultimately much healthier. Life is difficult enough.
>> No. 23584 Anonymous
20th November 2016
Sunday 4:06 pm
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I like thin women. But the world is becoming fatter and it is affecting my ability to feel sexually aroused. The number of people I encounter that I find physically attractive has dropped to the point where I feel sexually frustrated.

I feel like it is impossible to share my position publicly because being overweight is so normalized and people will treat it as selfish and entitled. Only 36% of population aren't actually fat fucks and it is only getting worse, god knows how small the fraction is that actually have the kind of figure I find attractive (being able to make out the pelvic bone is insanely hot to me). Beauty might only be skin deep but I can hardly have a conversation with my penis and convince it that it is fat-shaming, the dick wants what the dick wants.
>> No. 23585 Anonymous
20th November 2016
Sunday 4:14 pm
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Have you tried the Anna community? They would love someone like you.
>> No. 23586 Anonymous
20th November 2016
Sunday 4:18 pm
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>the Anna community

The who?
>> No. 23587 Anonymous
20th November 2016
Sunday 4:44 pm
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I hadn't really seen things that way before. Particularly what you say here:
>Being harsh on yourself is a denial of your own vulnerability

It is true I think and reinforce things about myself, to the point where it's virtually become automatic and subconscious, that wouldn't ever occur to me about another person. Even growing up, I couldn't take pride in whatever achievements or talents that I had, as I was always making up ground in my head for a set of unbelievably nasty inner-voices.

When things are going well for me, it's usually during times where my self-esteem is based off the sheer effort I'm putting in every day. This is unsustainable, I burn out, I get frustrated with lack of progress, and I'm back to feeling shit about myself. Then it's hard to do productive things because I almost feel I don't deserve the reward, until evenetually I become so angry with the inertia, I put some Herculean regime in place again, feel pretty amazing about myself, and the cycle repeats. A local psychiatrist said I likely belonged to some sort of the bipolar spectrum of disorders.

I'm dangerously close to hijacking this thread, but you're on to something there. More regular and consistent practice of self-compassion might keep me stable enough to make steady progress and not have my sense of self completely crash every 6 - 8 months.
>> No. 23588 Anonymous
20th November 2016
Sunday 4:57 pm
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It's spelt Ana and >>23585 can fuck off, having the very top of the iliac crest showing through at the hips is very normal in people with a healthy body composition.

That said, we all know how useless BMI is as soon as you get to a trained/athletic build with significant muscle mass, but most people in the population aren't that so it's a fine rule of thumb for them.
>> No. 23589 Anonymous
20th November 2016
Sunday 5:06 pm
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Quite true. The way I tend to think of BMI is that it's a tool to measure the health of populations rather than individuals.

Not meaning to sound too "no shit, m8", but have you tried looking for girls in fitness circles? Physically active hobbies could probably lead you to women with a build more to your liking.
>> No. 23590 Anonymous
20th November 2016
Sunday 5:07 pm
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Seems unhealthy to fetishise underweight women. Pictures from the Siege of Aleppo must be a wankfest for you.
>> No. 23591 Anonymous
20th November 2016
Sunday 5:08 pm
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>Not meaning to sound too "no shit, m8", but have you tried looking for girls in fitness circles? Physically active hobbies could probably lead you to women with a build more to your liking.
Also smackhead circles are quite good.
>> No. 23592 Anonymous
20th November 2016
Sunday 5:19 pm
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Don't begrudge the lad his tastes. He's said nothing demeaning about girls of different builds, just that he likes thin ones and people are generally getting bigger.
>> No. 23593 Anonymous
20th November 2016
Sunday 5:36 pm
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He called people of healthy weight "fat fucks." Obviously he is a fat-shaming misogynist.
>> No. 23594 Anonymous
20th November 2016
Sunday 5:47 pm
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I'm at the end of my research thesis. I just need to get <10k words down which should be done by after Christmas if not before.

The problem is I seem to have hit a brick-wall in my motivation to get things done slipping me into procrastinating by perfectionism and days where I just get nothing done at all. Its been like this since around February and been a steady decline in my output as I just seem to no longer feel confident in my own abilities or care about my research topic.

Come to think of it its been a month since I should have sent a draft off to my supervisor but I'm still not where we planned me to be and while I can deal with a telling off I don't feel like my work is ready for checking. Mostly because as I said my output has been so bad and I'm now ashamed of it.

I'll add to the voices that share how you feel. There are many people I know from university who are currently ahead of me on the game of life.

Rather than echo the sentiment I recommend Dale Carnegie's How To Stop Worrying And Start Living (available in audiobook format). It may sound like it doesn't entirely fit with your issue but there are a few memorable points on this including that in life you may not be a big towering tree like those you may compare yourself to but if you're a bush you should work at being the best damn bush you can be. That's enough for me.

I recommend hippie chicks if you can bite your tongue on their logical inconsistencies m8. Trust me.

They also tend to not put so much value on status or looks so you can bat way above your average
>> No. 23595 Anonymous
20th November 2016
Sunday 5:51 pm
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They don't shower and I like eating women out. It is disgusting.

What is your research thesis on? You don't have to be specific, just the general subject area would be nice to know.
>> No. 23597 Anonymous
20th November 2016
Sunday 6:24 pm
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>They don't shower and I like eating women out. It is disgusting.

I've never noticed a problem with it. I enjoy my long hot showers but there is something to be said for how your body handles itself if its getting nothing beyond cold showers, a light soap and a good (well...you' know) diet.

>What is your research thesis on? You don't have to be specific, just the general subject area would be nice to know.

The legality of humanitarian intervention in the African Union. A rough background is Africa has had enough of genocides and things of that nature after Rwanda (and so on) so its given itself the right to intervene in certain circumstances. The problem is its not exactly legal if you don't have permission from the United Nations Security Council. Or is it?!

This has become a bigger issue recently as Burundi was threatened with AU intervention given it shows all the same signs as Rwanda did before its own genocide with the international community busy with other things. If you want me to ruin your day: Tutsis are already being killed in the country (Amnesty International released satellite evidence of mass graves earlier in the year) and next year there might be a few million less of them in the world if nothing gets done which looks likely unless Kagame is going to save the day again.
>> No. 23598 Anonymous
20th November 2016
Sunday 6:39 pm
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I can highly recommend the book The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris. The 'trap' of the title is the idea that we can force ourselves to be happy, that if we only work hard enough we can eradicate all negative feelings. If you believe on some level that everything should always be perfect, then you're setting yourself up for a harsh double-whammy. When things do go wrong, you have to deal with the thing that happened and your own frustration, disappointment and self-criticism.

The approach presented in the book is based on self-awareness and acceptance. Sometimes you'll be happy, sometimes you won't. Sometimes you'll feel confident, sometimes you won't. Negative thoughts, feelings and experiences are a natural part of life. By trying to control our own thoughts and feelings, we just make them more powerful.

Don't think of a pink elephant. Don't think of a pink elephant. Whatever you do, don't think of a pink elephant. Thinking about pink elephants is unbearably awful. If you think of a pink elephant, that means you're a terrible person. You'll never be happy if you think about pink elephants. Don't think of a pink elephant.

That seems absurd, but we do it to ourselves all the time. We all have things we can't bear to remember, thoughts we think make us bad people, feelings we distract ourselves from or deny. By suppressing those things, we end up in this futile struggle against nature. It's like trying to force a beach ball underwater. The beach ball will always come back to the surface. The only choice you have is how hard you struggle to push it down. You can learn to stop struggling and live with difficult thoughts and feelings rather than fighting against them.

>> No. 23599 Anonymous
20th November 2016
Sunday 6:40 pm
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Did your research cover the AU intervention in Somalia, and how every invading forces trying to "stop" terrorists in Somalia end up joining AMISOM?

To some degree I think AU interventions are American sanctioned operations designed to keep the "peace" which is favourable to US interests. There is nothing really humanitarian about it. The civil war in Somali could have ended in 1993, but American intervention, because white people were sad about Africa being a shithole, meant it lasts to this day. It again could have ended in 2006, but AMISOM (AU forces), Ethiopian forces, and Somali warlords made sure it didn't. That's how Somalia ended up with a weak government backed by the west surrounded by ruthless terrorists.

AU is a sham.
>> No. 23600 Anonymous
20th November 2016
Sunday 6:44 pm
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Take up distance running or triathlon. Not a pick of fat on those girls.

Also, thank you for leaving all the curvy women for me. Unrealistic beauty standards have created an all-you-can-eat buffet for chubby chasers.
>> No. 23601 Anonymous
20th November 2016
Sunday 7:36 pm
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My ex fiance was a distance runner. I wish I'd have murdered her.
>> No. 23602 Anonymous
20th November 2016
Sunday 7:43 pm
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>Unrealistic beauty standards have created an all-you-can-eat buffet for chubby chasers.

You sure on that, lad? There seems to be a lot of fat pride at the minute and I have known the odd heifer thinking she's Gods gift because of all the chubby chasers, such as yourself, after them.
>> No. 23603 Anonymous
20th November 2016
Sunday 9:45 pm
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>You sure on that, lad?

Ooooohhh yes. The ratio of fat women to chubby chasers is astronomically high. More than half the population are overweight or obese, but "BBW" ranks lower than "cartoon" or "step mom" in porn site searches. To the overwhelming majority of men, "fat" and "ugly" are practically synonymous. You might hear about fat pride and chubby chasing online, but it's notably absent at chucking out time in a provincial All Bar One.

To me, this image is the epitome of feminine perfection. I'd push Scarlett Johansson or Beyonce Knowles out of the way to get to her. I'd drag my balls through broken glass to hear her fart through a walkie talkie. When you have aesthetic preferences like that, you live in a different world to most men.

I'm a 7/10 at best, but most of the women I pursue think that I'm well out of their league. They're used to being the dregs at the end of the night. They're used to being slowly elbowed out by someone who is trying to pull their thin friend. They're used to being laughed at in clothes shops when they ask "do you have this in a size 22?". For all the fat positivity that floats around on Tumblr, society is still brutally cruel towards fat women.
>> No. 23604 Anonymous
20th November 2016
Sunday 9:47 pm
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>To me, this image is the epitome of feminine perfection
She has a pretty face but genuinely looks like her body has elephantiasis. Is there a line between what is attractive and what's a weird fetish?
>> No. 23605 Anonymous
20th November 2016
Sunday 9:49 pm
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>most of the women I pursue think that I'm well out of their league. They're used to being the dregs at the end of the night.

This says more about you than them.
>> No. 23606 Anonymous
20th November 2016
Sunday 9:58 pm
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Even the massive upper arms and thighs? Some people can carry weight well and some people can't. That lass can't. Her body shape is all wrong. She hasn't filled out nicely.
>> No. 23607 Anonymous
20th November 2016
Sunday 10:15 pm
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>For all the fat positivity that floats around on Tumblr, society is still brutally cruel towards fat women.

Yeah but there are enough guys like you plus desperate lads who'll take anything they can get to mean they'll still get laid and have relationships.

As for myself, I'm probably going to die alone because of my inability to find overweight women attractive. Guess I could just move to a non-Anglosphere country, but I can't learn foreign languages to save my life.
>> No. 23608 Anonymous
20th November 2016
Sunday 10:26 pm
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>Is there a line between what is attractive and what's a weird fetish?

Don't know, don't care.


It's shit, but it's true. Women of a certain size are marginalised to an extraordinary degree. Many people just can't conceive of big women as objects of sexual desire. When I brought my first proper girlfriend home, my mum thought it was some sort of practical joke; I honestly think she'd be happier if I was gay. People routinely treat me like some sort of deviant. When I'm walking down the street with a big woman, I overhear snide comments all the time. Frankly, you're a bunch of bastards.


Especially the upper arms, especially the thighs, especially the belly. Christ, I love a big round belly. I love a pair of thighs you could drown in.
>> No. 23609 Anonymous
20th November 2016
Sunday 10:32 pm
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I can empathise. When I went to uni, I foolishly left my computer at home and my dad went on it, and saw some pictures of fat lasses (including the girl in your pictures), and ribbed me for it mercilessly. My ex was obese and black, and he constantly gave me shit for it. My current gf is also obese, and I'm not looking forward to him meeting her as he can be very cruel to fat lasses.
>> No. 23610 Anonymous
20th November 2016
Sunday 11:08 pm
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>Christ, I love a big round belly.

That's not a round belly, though. You can clearly see the rolls of fat. Again you've posted a picture of a woman who cannot carry the weight.
>> No. 23611 Anonymous
20th November 2016
Sunday 11:11 pm
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He has a weird fetish. Let him be.
>> No. 23612 Anonymous
20th November 2016
Sunday 11:23 pm
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>Women of a certain size are marginalised to an extraordinary degree.

Am I a terrible person for not having much sympathy for someone who is marginalised for the most part as a result of their own greed?
>> No. 23613 Anonymous
20th November 2016
Sunday 11:25 pm
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>I recommend hippie chicks if you can bite your tongue on their logical inconsistencies m8. Trust me.

Which reminds me about my own problems.

Me and my girlfriend recently went "on a break" and then got together again after about a months worth of not speaking, and intolerable horniness on both our parts.

In the relatively short intervening time, she has got dreds, a surprisingly tasteful tattoo, and changed her style of dress, and I can't help but think she's done it to try and be more appealing to me. She's the least mental girlfriend I've ever had too, she doesn't show symptoms of any major neurosis at all in fact. We spend our weekends camping and taking acid.

It's perfect but I am deeply suspicious of how perfect it is, and frankly the lack of any sort of need to "work" at, any need to put effort in to the relationship, because she's obviously so head over heels for me, is just making me feel rather arsed. As a wise man (Lemmy) once said, "You know the chase, is better than the catch, you know".

I know a lot of lads, especially those who struggle with the lasses, would kill for what I have now. But I just feel a bit bored with it. What can I do to help myself appreciate it?
>> No. 23614 Anonymous
20th November 2016
Sunday 11:36 pm
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It's the lowest of the low hanging fruit, though.

I'm partial to a chubster, this is an example from the first page of Googling 'BBW'. As you will see, it's a nice full figure. You can get women larger than this still in the same proportions. Many women can't carry this weight well and get rolls of fat, cellulite and those grotesque gargantuan upper arms. A thick, large woman is a nice sight to behold. A woman carrying more weight than is attractive for her frame is anything but.
>> No. 23615 Anonymous
20th November 2016
Sunday 11:38 pm
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Jesus Fucking Christ.
>> No. 23616 Anonymous
20th November 2016
Sunday 11:46 pm
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You see what I mean, though? It's one nice full belly rather than one of those weird ones where it splits into three separate sections because the woman in question doesn't have the frame for that kind of weight. Again another quick Google picture .
>> No. 23617 Anonymous
21st November 2016
Monday 12:04 am
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You seem bewildered by the idea of personal taste. Some men would consider that woman to be very fat (namely the skinny-chaser who started this whole discussion and prefers to see bones sticking out), some would say she's just slightly curvy.

I like wobbly bits on a lady. If you don't then that's fine, just don't be a cock about it. Try to avoid describing perfectly normal body parts as "grotesque". Having a preference is fine. Denigrating women for their bodies is a dick move.
>> No. 23618 Anonymous
21st November 2016
Monday 12:04 am
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A woman of this size who looks good in real life is a very rare thing.

That first picture you posted is rather unsubtly shopped- In reality both of her arms are in contact with overspilled belly flab, but they've made it look like she has an "hourglass" figure.

The second picture, yeah, she's nice. She's what I'd genuinely call chubby rather than fat, though, and even then it's just a flattering photograph. Laid in bed next to her where she's all spilling off to one side like a level 34 Muk and it's a different story.

My lass is hardly a stick insect, she has a bit of meat on her bones, but fat is another thing, instinctually we find it unappealing in the same way as you would if a woman was greyhound/holocaust skinny.

The fact is that fat itself is unattractive beyond a certain point, in my opinion; the big curvy figure is attractive to you, but that's not taking account of the nasty cellulite flab folds that inevitably occur in real life. You can't photoshop a real girl to hide the stretch marks and eczema around the folds where she can't wash properly. You can't photoshop the stank of fatty sweat. Know what I'm saying?
>> No. 23619 Anonymous
21st November 2016
Monday 12:07 am
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Look what you did, you Ana chasing filth. Look at what you started. Look!
>> No. 23620 Anonymous
21st November 2016
Monday 12:08 am
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I'd fuck this, not a chubby chaser either. It helps that she could be an 8 if she shed 40 pounds.
>> No. 23621 Anonymous
21st November 2016
Monday 1:13 am
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You should type the way he speaks. That was just shit.
>> No. 23622 Anonymous
21st November 2016
Monday 1:21 am
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>I recommend hippie chicks if you can bite your tongue on their logical inconsistencies m8. Trust me.
>if you can bite your tongue on their logical inconsistencies

And there's the rub. I love everything about the hippy lifestyle the visuals (those girls in your pic are stunning to me), the drugs and I'm rather partial to camping, but the beliefs drive me mad mad mad.


The problem there is that then I'd have to be doing long distance running, which is probably great if you like it, but strikes me as the kind of thing that I couldn't half arse commit to.


I show no remorse. we are living in the age of the chubby chaser. At least someone can be happy. I'm clearly an out dated fossil with my primitive notions that people shouldn't be a weight that negatively affects their health, and society has a moral duty to discourage obesity during an epidemic of it. not that I can be too high and mighty, this is ultimately just about what makes my dick twitch after all
>> No. 23623 Anonymous
21st November 2016
Monday 1:28 am
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Guy with low self-esteem lowers standards - dates women that look like Rosie O'Donnell. Many such cases. Sad!
>> No. 23624 Anonymous
21st November 2016
Monday 2:04 am
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Not even close. You are bad at this.
>> No. 23625 Anonymous
21st November 2016
Monday 2:21 am
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That was exactly how his twitter account sounds.
>> No. 23626 Anonymous
21st November 2016
Monday 2:27 am
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No it doesn't. It actually sounds like how he speaks. Are you slow?
>> No. 23627 Anonymous
21st November 2016
Monday 3:01 am
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No, just more aware of parody than you are.

>> No. 23628 Anonymous
21st November 2016
Monday 5:56 am
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African conflicts are very interesting though, especially how multifaceted it gets in terms of international relations. Multiple rivers, ethnic groups and mining rights within certain regions require a greater deal of co-operation (and not so co-operative militia funding) between powers. The situation in Ethiopia with the Oromo people are an example of how marginalised groups can become a serious security threat to stability within the region.

As for this thread, I hate myself and everyone around me so I deal with it through murder/rampage fantasies, especially of the people who are being mean to me.
>> No. 23631 Anonymous
21st November 2016
Monday 12:43 pm
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I've recently returned to education part time to fix some grades that I fucked up the last time I took the course and I increasingly find myself questioning why I bothered. Well actually I know exactly why I bothered; I'm hoping to hook a control room operator job in a CCGT power plant for some sweet easy ££££ but when I met and got to know the others on the course I felt a bit left behind as there are some very ambitious people on the course, I am also frustrated at the slow pace the course is going and find myself increasingly uninterested in the subjects at hand.

I'm going to complete the course, I will get a good grade because thats just what I do but fucking hell does it feel cathartic to write this down.
>> No. 23632 Anonymous
21st November 2016
Monday 2:03 pm
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What kind of course is it? I have been thinking about good courses to take.
>> No. 23633 Anonymous
21st November 2016
Monday 2:54 pm
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You feel both left behind and frustrated by the slow pace?
>> No. 23634 Anonymous
21st November 2016
Monday 4:03 pm
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Science and maths, you should be aware that if you're over 18 you'll need to pay even for level 2 qualifications these days unless you have a funding source.


What I meant is: I feel left behind by my own lack of ambition, I'm blown away by others want and desire for stuff and my own lack there of. I'm trying to work on changing my mindset but as I said I'm finding myself questioning myself a lot. Thanks for making me clarify that though it is a bit messy.
>> No. 23635 Anonymous
21st November 2016
Monday 7:10 pm
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Probably you weren't a good fit for education in the first place, right? Just knuckle down and do what you need to do, keep reminding yourself of the end goal. Presumably you're old enough to know how naive those ambitious ones are too- so try not to let your own cynicism get in the way, because it' not without merit.

I'm in my mid 20s and doing some studying for a qualification the work is paying for, and fuck me does going to college wind me up. The tutors are unhelpful, spiteful bastards who treat everyone in the course (all adults) like teenagers, the department head is the biggest arsehole of all, there's nobody higher up we can complain to so there's no alternative but to just stomach it.

There are some things in life you can't meaningfully fix and just have to deal with I suppose.
>> No. 23636 Anonymous
21st November 2016
Monday 7:13 pm
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>Science and maths, you should be aware that if you're over 18 you'll need to pay even for level 2 qualifications these days unless you have a funding source.

Wrong, if you're under 24 you can get on a level 3 course for naff all.
>> No. 23637 Anonymous
21st November 2016
Monday 7:17 pm
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>Science and maths
You wot? Is that all you need to end up in the control room of a CCGT station? Just A Levels?


I think I am wasting my life away.
>> No. 23641 Anonymous
27th November 2016
Sunday 1:26 pm
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This morning I woke up. I think that was a mistake and I regret it. Instead of just going back to sleep I decided to solider on and now I feel just awful. Out of a sense of decorum I decided drinking vodka at 8am wasn't the way I wanted to manage this, and instead watched a, and I use the term in the broadest sense here, ‘documentary’ on netflix where they mashed a bunch of interviews from comedians talking about how miserable they all are together, then I went for a walk round the park and back. Everything was as dull and as mediocre as it was the last time I went there except because it was 10 am on a Sunday there were grubby noisy humans everywhere.

There really isn't much point to this post other than to vent that sometimes existing feels over rated even when you can't put your finger on why, and I want validation from strangers on the internet of this point.
>> No. 23642 Anonymous
27th November 2016
Sunday 4:17 pm
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I woke up, watched Laurel and Hardy... That's all I've done. My self-esteem has been scraping along the ground recently. I'll be fine in a week or so.
>> No. 23645 Anonymous
27th November 2016
Sunday 4:54 pm
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>>23641 >>23642
Both of you need to do something new. Try an evening session of something you've never done before, go to a community centre or cafe you'd not normally go to, just get out of the house a bit and break your routine. Never underestimate the rejuvenating effect having an open-mind towards a bit of novelty can have on the old existential dread.
>> No. 23646 Anonymous
27th November 2016
Sunday 4:57 pm
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Will it ever get better?
>> No. 23648 Anonymous
27th November 2016
Sunday 6:34 pm
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I just woke up feeling awful today. I didn't really sleep properly last night and have been on a strict diet, I think I'm just emotionally crashing from exhaustion. I think your advice is solid, but it's not really for my problem. Good night’s sleep and I’ll be tickerty boo.
>> No. 23650 Anonymous
27th November 2016
Sunday 10:15 pm
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Yes. Slowly, and there will definitely be a strong possibility for relapse, but start looking after yourself as you would a close friend that was struggling and things will start to get gradually better. Eat a bit better. Try to go to bed and wake up at more regular times. In winter, try to get at least an hour outside in the the sunlight a day - shifting your sleep cycle to less night-owlish one will help here. Just do one of these at a time, one little thing that you'd do to care for that close friend who you'd act out of complete love for, and don't worry about the next step. And don't beat yourself up if you don't manage it one day, put it behind you and just try a little bit again the next. Baby steps.
>> No. 23679 Anonymous
4th December 2016
Sunday 6:24 pm
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How can I turn myself off? Like a computer, just switch off, and switch back on some time later? I'm getting tired and I need to shut down for a couple of years.
>> No. 23680 Anonymous
4th December 2016
Sunday 7:06 pm
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I can tell you what works for me:

Turn off the lights. Sit on a cold surface, like the floor or wooden chair, in a cool, quiet room. Listen to a clock or a watch ticking. Breathe in for four-to-five seconds, hold in for four-to-five seconds, breathe out for four-to-five seconds, hold out for four-to-five seconds. Repeat until your body temperature has dropped and your thoughts have slowed down. This usually takes about five or ten minutes.

If you have one, put on a sleeping mask and lie down in your bed. Think about something you'd like to dream about, and let the thought drift through free association as your body readjusts to the temperature of your sheets. You should find yourself getting to sleep by this point.

Shutdown takes about 20 odd minutes but it's reliable.
>> No. 23681 Anonymous
4th December 2016
Sunday 7:12 pm
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I wrote this entire post not reading the 'years' bit.

Oh well, something for you insomniaclads.
>> No. 23682 Anonymous
4th December 2016
Sunday 7:12 pm
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>> No. 23689 Anonymous
5th December 2016
Monday 6:53 pm
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I am filled with sorrow. I'm finding it hard not to burst into tears in public a lot.
>> No. 23690 Anonymous
5th December 2016
Monday 7:09 pm
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Try some antidepressants.
>> No. 23691 Anonymous
5th December 2016
Monday 7:57 pm
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It will pass when your period stops.
>> No. 23692 Anonymous
5th December 2016
Monday 8:57 pm
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No, I don't need drugs, just time.
Hilarious m8.
>> No. 23695 Anonymous
5th December 2016
Monday 10:43 pm
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Do you wanna talk about it? Is there anything you want to share?
>> No. 23702 Anonymous
6th December 2016
Tuesday 10:00 am
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No, it turns out what I want to do is make a series of bad decisions that will prolong this, meaning it will take even more time to get over.

Sage for vaguebooking.
>> No. 23727 Anonymous
8th December 2016
Thursday 1:56 pm
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How does one get over a fear of rejection & failure?
>> No. 23728 Anonymous
8th December 2016
Thursday 2:04 pm
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By valuing your desire to achieve more.
>> No. 23729 Anonymous
8th December 2016
Thursday 3:24 pm
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Ask yourself what is the worst that could happen, if you can then write out the worry and the possible answers on a notepad, things of that nature.

The issue people seem to have is that whilst they will certainly overanalyze a problem they won't do so in an objective fashion so they just go around in circles worrying themselves about nothing.
>> No. 23799 Anonymous
17th December 2016
Saturday 8:47 pm
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Lads has anybody had a week or two where they don't feel themselves ever? What did you do?

Normally I'm absolutely fine, of sound mental footing and all that, but for about a week I've been waking up and feeling a sudden sense of dread, I've lost my appetite and barely eat more than one meal a day and have been shitting myself constantly because of lack of nutrition. I've randomly fell asleep and I have felt strong mood swings, even though things in my life are alright.

I've never felt like this before, and now I'm starting to feel much better, but I am a bit concerned hw it all suddenly came along. Anybody know this feel? I've no idea what happened to me.
>> No. 23800 Anonymous
17th December 2016
Saturday 9:11 pm
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If it's a sudden unexplained change of mood or personality I suggest it might be worth talking to your GP about.
>> No. 23805 Anonymous
17th December 2016
Saturday 9:21 pm
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There is a lot of truth to this. I realised that at some point if I wanted to get anywhere in terms of career/social/general life terms, and actually do the things I want to do, I'd need to get used to embarrassing myself. Being embarrassed doesn't necessarily get any easier or more pleasant, but it seems insignificant when you realise that at least a little bit of it is inevitable toward achieving anything. I think how people deal with embarrassment, emotionally, varies from person to person, but when you want something that badly it does fade from importance in a very tangible way.
>> No. 23806 Anonymous
17th December 2016
Saturday 9:22 pm
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How on fucking earth did that just happen?
>> No. 23807 Anonymous
17th December 2016
Saturday 9:28 pm
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You can say that again.
>> No. 23808 Anonymous
17th December 2016
Saturday 9:32 pm
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how embarrassing
>> No. 23809 Anonymous
17th December 2016
Saturday 9:34 pm
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Just delete the fucking posts. Click the Anonymous.
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