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>> No. 27047 Anonymous
12th July 2018
Thursday 2:03 pm
27047 Where to meet birds
So, I've decided to try and not be that guy, a relationship-less virgin, into my mid-20s, which doesn't leave me with very long. I'm home from uni for the summer and have decided it's time to sort my act out.

The only problem - where to meet women?

I've completed tinder in a 15 mile radius, likewise for Bumble - zero (0) matches. I've messaged pretty much every girl on OKCupid with a match >75%; not one has replied.

What can I do now? The few local schoolfriends I am still in contact with are all male, everyone at my job is male, and all the women I talk to (from uni) are either in a relationship or otherwise not an option.

Going out to clubs doesn't work because a) I don't have anyone to go with, and b) when I try and do anything but stand at the bar drinking in a club (ie dance) I look like a tortoise trying to pilot a motorcycle.

Any ideas?
Expand all images.
>> No. 27048 Anonymous
12th July 2018
Thursday 2:30 pm
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>>27047
Get your friends to set you up with someone. If you have limited experience with women, then it's a good option. Be honest with them about being fed up you don't have a girlfriend to share things with, going to the cinema alone is shite, etc, but don't necessarily be open about being a Virgin unless they already know.

If you do get set up with someone, when they ask you what you study and want to do be passionate about it. It's attractive, if you don't waffle off on a tangent she can't understand. Say because you've focused on your studies you haven't had much time for a GF until now, but you're hoping to meet someone nice. The nuance of flirting is hard to describe, but she might look for validation after that statement. Something like "Have you been on a lot of dates recently, then?" or similar and you should reply "Would you be jealous if I said I had?" And smile and try and maintain eye contact in a way that seems natural. Closed mouth smiling, assuming you aren't laughing, is suitable for this interaction. After this exchange, say "Ah, a couple but they never went anywhere."

Also, the match metrics on OKC are bollocks. Try messaging people who have a profile you like. Opening gambits are a hit and miss, I don't have too much experience with them having done most of my flirting face to face.
>> No. 27049 Anonymous
12th July 2018
Thursday 3:33 pm
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>>27048
>the match metrics on OKC are bollocks
Higher match percentages mean simply that they agree with you on more things. I haven't used OkC in a long time but when I did I found I was matching with cool progressive people and not matching with reality TV-watching dullards.

This is not to say to the OP that if you have a low percentage with someone don't go for it if you think their profile is good.
>> No. 27050 Anonymous
12th July 2018
Thursday 8:28 pm
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OP, you are more or less fucked. Unless you are rich or very good looking playing the Internet dating is a waste of time. Try to make a female profile on the sites and you will know why.

Your best bet would be finding an activity or hobby and meet people in that environment. Depends on your preferences it could be a church, a volunteer group, a charity and so on. You need a place where people meet in RL, since very few men can play the internet dating game. Try the Meetups in your area and find an activity you are at least marginally interested in.

In the name of Jesus, do not start approaching girls immediately. Nobody likes THAT GUY. Nobody.
>> No. 27051 Anonymous
12th July 2018
Thursday 8:43 pm
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>>27050

>Unless you are rich or very good looking playing the Internet dating

Don't be a knob. I'm neither rich or good looking and I've done great on tinder.
>> No. 27052 Anonymous
12th July 2018
Thursday 8:51 pm
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>>27048
Going for a drink with one this weekend, I'll ask and report back.

I've found that, like >>27049 says, many people below about 70% either have nothing or very little on their profile or are just not the sort of person I have anything in common with.

>>27050
I'm not a PUA and I know that just approaching girls is a good way to get slapped with an assault charge. I've tried the local photography club but it's all sneering old men from what I've found. I'll have to look into other activities.

>>27051
I think I'm probably considerably below average, hence my lack of luck. I'm not deformed or anything, just a bit of an uggo.
>> No. 27053 Anonymous
12th July 2018
Thursday 9:02 pm
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>>27051
>> No. 27054 Anonymous
12th July 2018
Thursday 9:08 pm
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>>27053

Don't spread this negative bullshit here, not on /emo/.

Look around you. Most blokes don't look like him (I certainly don't) yet manage to get fanny.
>> No. 27055 Anonymous
12th July 2018
Thursday 9:27 pm
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>>27054

Shagging a 43 years old obese alcoholic single mother on benefits for a bottle of Bulmers and a pack of cigs does not count as "getting fanny". At least, unless you are an unemployed obese alcoholic on benefits. All decent women have overly inflated standards due to the sexual availability caused by dating sites.

(A good day to you Sir!)
>> No. 27056 Anonymous
12th July 2018
Thursday 9:45 pm
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>>27055

Oh, it's you again.
>> No. 27057 Anonymous
12th July 2018
Thursday 9:53 pm
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>>27055

Out of interest why did you ban him? Was it the whiney post or the incel-tier picture he went with?
>> No. 27058 Anonymous
12th July 2018
Thursday 9:58 pm
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>>27057

Bit of both, and also telling someone they can't pull anyone unless they're an adonis. That's obviously untrue and particularly damaging in an /emo/ thread, and just obnoxious anywhere else.

I'm also 106% sure it's the same bloke who told the autistic lad he smelled like a corpse, and he got banned in that thread, so also ban evasion.

Anyway, OP, please disregard him, he's wrong, you do need to find your unique selling point, mind. Usually it's as simple as having something you can be genuinely passionate about without sounding boring. It's easier than you think once you get the hang of it.
>> No. 27059 Anonymous
12th July 2018
Thursday 10:28 pm
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>>27058

Amazing as it might seem to incellad, women are human beings. Some of them are obsessed with looks, status and money. Some of them are bookish types who get a wide-on for David Mitchell. Some of them smell of patchouli and go to psytrance raves and dream about living in a yurt. Some of them love trains. Some of them are lonely and desperate.

For historical and cultural reasons, men have to do the chasing, which is a bit unfortunate if you're shy and awkward. With that said, it's not rocket science and it's not an ordeal. Go to places, do things, talk to people. Some of those people will be women, some of those women might entertain the idea of going to the pub with you. In the process of going to places and doing things and talking to people, you'll make yourself more interesting and more confident, both of which are very attractive traits. I'm probably sounding like your dad, but you've got to put yourself out there. If you don't ask, you don't get.
>> No. 27060 Anonymous
12th July 2018
Thursday 10:45 pm
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>>27059

Also, if you're ever feeling down about yourself, just remember that a group of professional marketers thought that this was a good idea:


>> No. 27061 Anonymous
13th July 2018
Friday 11:00 am
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I'm 25 and never been in a relationship. Not really surprising considering I don't talk to anyone though. Been utterly lonely sincr the end of university.

Its shite lad, go do a phd.
>> No. 27062 Anonymous
13th July 2018
Friday 11:52 am
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>>27060
What the fuck was that?

>>27061
I'm already going back for my Master's (because I get student finance and wouldn't otherwise), but at the same time a PhD is 3 more years after that I don't want to be almost 30 when I leave uni with nothing to my name.
>> No. 27063 Anonymous
13th July 2018
Friday 12:59 pm
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>>27060
The everything about the camera work makes it feel like I'm watching this from the perspective of someone tied to a chair.
>> No. 27064 Anonymous
13th July 2018
Friday 1:43 pm
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>>27062

That was part of Microsoft's launch campaign for Windows 7. They encouraged people to host a launch party and gave away "party packs" with Windows 7 themed decorations.

It's like the whole campaign was planned by an alien who had never encountered a human being.

https://www.pcworld.com/article/174237/windows_7_launch_parties_fizzle.html
>> No. 27065 Anonymous
13th July 2018
Friday 3:19 pm
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>>27064
Oh, shit, yeah. I remember now - they did it again for Windows 8 and gave away merch and licence keys to 'hosts'.

Dove (dived?) a bit deeper into OKCupid and one lass on there put that she didn't know how to tell the time from analogue clock. We're the same age and I distinctly remember being taught it in school, but even if you weren't they are fucking everywhere, how can you not know that?
>> No. 27066 Anonymous
13th July 2018
Friday 3:25 pm
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>>27065

I remember learning it at home but not at school. I had one of them watches that spells it out for you. It came with a chart that I remember having on my wall, too. I'm sure it probably is something taught at school too, but I don't recall.

That's a very odd thing to put on your dating profile, mind, was it in response to one of those 'tell us something embarrassing about yourself' type questions?
>> No. 27067 Anonymous
13th July 2018
Friday 4:36 pm
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>>27065

> one lass on there put that she didn't know how to tell the time from analogue clock. We're the same age and I distinctly remember being taught it in school, but even if you weren't they are fucking everywhere, how can you not know that?

In my experience it's a sadly widespread and global phenomenon, even for people of my age. For the "people born close to or after 2000" generation I imagine that many haven't seen an analogue clock in their lives except Big Ben and maybe at their grandma's house.
>> No. 27072 Anonymous
13th July 2018
Friday 8:13 pm
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>>27067
How? I was born in 1994 and there have been analogue clocks in pretty much every aspect of my life. Every school I've been to has had one in every classroom, train stations, the town hall, doctors' office, 3 rooms in my parents' house, every lecture theatre at university, half the pubs I go in... but I digress.

I'm trying to think of the best way to ask my m9 to set me up with someone - I have a feeling that blurting it out isn't the best way. Any ideas?
>> No. 27073 Anonymous
13th July 2018
Friday 8:21 pm
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>>27072

>I was born in 1994

Otherlad did say the 'those born around 2000' generation. I'm sure most of them do know how to read an analog clock, mind, and honestly the more I think about it, the more it seems like any adult that understands a digital clock could logically work out how to read one with no information other than 'this tells the time', but also I'm not THAT surprised some bint on a dating site can't.

I can't do long division or percentages, despite that being covered at school, and I'm quite sure I could relearn and retain that information now, but fuck it, I don't need to, I have the internet.
>> No. 27074 Anonymous
13th July 2018
Friday 8:23 pm
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>>27072

>I'm trying to think of the best way to ask my m9 to set me up with someone - I have a feeling that blurting it out isn't the best way. Any ideas?

I mean, if you can't just straight up tell your mate to get you some clunge, what sort of world is this?!

Joking aside though, there's no point being coy with him. Steer the conversation towards women, mention you're on OKC and not having much luck, ask him if he can think of anyone suitable.
>> No. 27075 Anonymous
13th July 2018
Friday 8:29 pm
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>>27061
To add, I don't even think I'd want a relationship now, they just seem unnecessarily complicated and stress inducing.

I don't do anything else with my life that said, I just go to work and then burn my time on this earth in my room, i dunno.

how do i restart life
>> No. 27076 Anonymous
13th July 2018
Friday 8:35 pm
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>>27075
Start your own thread, lad. I'm sure some otherlads will be able to steer you in the right direction?

>>27073
>can't do...percentages
How do you mean "can't do"? Percentages are a valuable life skill. Long division, however, is useless in the days of computation, and even without it there are other manual methods.
>> No. 27077 Anonymous
13th July 2018
Friday 8:43 pm
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>>27076
Didn't mean to hijack yours lad. Made my own threads before and honestly they just say 'go talk to people lol' more eloquently and I can't even make myself go to the gym.
>> No. 27078 Anonymous
13th July 2018
Friday 8:51 pm
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>>27076

I don't know/can never remember the calculations required to find a percentage of something, i.e., I very often find myself typing things like "30 is what percentage of 670" and things like that. I know it's just dividing or timesing by a hundred or summat, but I lack the numerical logic to work it out, and for whatever reason have never memorised the method - probably because it's so easy not to.

I work with profit margins and stock percentages daily, too, but never once has there been a scenario where I've needed to work out something away from a computer. I should probably try and remember how to do it on a calculator, mind.
>> No. 27079 Anonymous
13th July 2018
Friday 10:34 pm
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Divide the little number by the big number.

Hey presto.

30/670 = 0.0448, i.e. 4.48%.
>> No. 27080 Anonymous
13th July 2018
Friday 10:45 pm
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>>27079

I'd be plugging that into google anyways so it's all the same to me.
>> No. 27081 Anonymous
15th July 2018
Sunday 1:45 am
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>>27074
Or, if he is friendly with a mates lass ask her. Women love that shit, it appeals their innate sense for social networking.
>> No. 27082 Anonymous
15th July 2018
Sunday 1:49 am
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>>27078

You divide the whole by the difference between the fraction and the whole, then multiply it by 100.

Most of the time. Sometimes that isn't appropriate. Precentages are fucking easy.
>> No. 27083 Anonymous
15th July 2018
Sunday 1:01 pm
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He didn't spend much time thinking before replying "I'm sorry mate, I can't think of anyone" and changing the topic of conversation.

So that's a dead end there, then. I'll have another look round Meetups.
>> No. 27084 Anonymous
15th July 2018
Sunday 3:31 pm
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>>27083
Don't you have any female friends? Does the mate you ask have a GF? He isn't going to go out of his way to try and set you up with someone he could potentially shag.

When it was suggested a mate set you up, the implication on my end at least was that mate would be female. Women don't trust recommendations from guys unless they're gay, either, so even if he was willing it would be hit an miss.

You need a female sponsor, lad. A mates GF or a female friend.
>> No. 27085 Anonymous
15th July 2018
Sunday 6:15 pm
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>>27084
Seconding this. Even a relative would do in a pinch. I have a little cousin (22, "relationship-less virgin") who recently made a point of renewing ties with me and, after a few beers one night, admitted he wanted me to be his "wing-man" or whatever. The moment he told me this I rang my sister, explained the situation tactfully, and just a few weeks later he is hooking up semi-regularly with a friend-of-a-friend of hers and posting photos of them going to museums and stuff on Facebook.
>> No. 27093 Anonymous
15th July 2018
Sunday 8:06 pm
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>>27084
>>27085
God, it seems like I'm, rejecting everything you lads are saying out of hand, but I'm honestly not trying to.

His lass isn't local and I would just feel really weird asking his lass, or getting him to - she barely knows me and vice versa.

My course is overwhelmingly male, and although I do know a fair few lasses from extracurricular activities, there aren't many I've become close friends with -- we're friendly enough for the few hours a week we go for a social or meeting or whatever, but to most people I might as well not exist outside of those.
>> No. 27094 Anonymous
15th July 2018
Sunday 8:29 pm
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>>27085
>>27084
I couldn't imagine doing this.

But that said I'm a completely friendless loner at this point. I'm the one who actually har friends once but then people say 'whatever happened to him' then go to get another drink.
>> No. 27095 Anonymous
15th July 2018
Sunday 8:30 pm
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>>27093
Just wait until your course finishes lad, the world gete a whole lot worse.
>> No. 27096 Anonymous
15th July 2018
Sunday 8:46 pm
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>>27095
That's not helpful.
>> No. 27099 Anonymous
15th July 2018
Sunday 9:18 pm
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>>27096
What's not useful about foreknowledge?
>> No. 27101 Anonymous
15th July 2018
Sunday 10:00 pm
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>>27099
It's cynical shite that appeals to your confirmation bias and has no place on this board.
>> No. 27105 Anonymous
15th July 2018
Sunday 11:04 pm
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>>27101
Don't lie to yourself. /emo/ isn't some fucking sanctuary for delusion.
>> No. 27106 Anonymous
16th July 2018
Monday 12:08 am
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Gonna sound silly but don't hold women on a pedestal, they are as nervous as you.
>> No. 27107 Anonymous
16th July 2018
Monday 12:44 am
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>>27105
It's no place for embittered arseholes giving shit advice, either. Go be melancholy somewhere else.
>> No. 27119 Anonymous
16th July 2018
Monday 12:28 pm
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>>27106
Surely we can do better than advice from the idiot characters in The 40 Year Old Virgin.
>> No. 27134 Anonymous
18th July 2018
Wednesday 11:18 am
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>>27106
What prompted you to say this? Not trying to be a cunt about it, but just wondered if anything I said made you think I do.
>> No. 27137 Anonymous
19th July 2018
Thursday 1:26 am
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>>27134 It was just something someone said to me once and it stuck. Didn't know it was from a film.
>> No. 27144 Anonymous
20th July 2018
Friday 12:32 am
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>>27137
I'd wager most women aren't as nervous I would be, either way.

Going to try some general meetup groups in the next couple of weeks.

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