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>> No. 3936 Anonymous
27th October 2016
Thursday 1:45 pm
3936 Fat bastard weight loss thread
Get in here fatlads.

I've made an effort to properly lose weight but have stalled in the last 2 months - and it's starting to creep up. I used to lift weights 3x/week and control the diet, but I can't lift for a while until some medical stuff gets sorted. This has taken a bit of a hit on my progress - or more likely,ive used it an excuse to slack.

What's your story?

P.s. I track calories and weight using my fitness pal.
252 posts omitted. Last 50 posts shown. Expand all images.
>> No. 5034 Anonymous
2nd February 2020
Sunday 2:30 pm
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Yeah but I am also really really tempted by one of these electric road bikes.
>> No. 5035 Anonymous
2nd February 2020
Sunday 2:40 pm
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Get a proper road bike and you too could have the magnificent physique of an elite athlete.
>> No. 5036 Anonymous
2nd February 2020
Sunday 3:23 pm
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>>5031 >>5034 >>5035
Recreationally inhaling car exhaust fumes is not proper cycling.
>> No. 5037 Anonymous
2nd February 2020
Sunday 3:26 pm
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That's you, that is.
>> No. 5038 Anonymous
2nd February 2020
Sunday 3:43 pm
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Pretty sure you'd be the one falling off at the hint of any bumps.
>> No. 5039 Anonymous
2nd February 2020
Sunday 4:43 pm
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I ride on these things that were especially designed to be good for cycling on; I believe they're called "roads".

>> No. 5040 Anonymous
2nd February 2020
Sunday 5:07 pm
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Face it mate: you're the type of person to go bowling with the gutters up.
>> No. 5041 Anonymous
2nd February 2020
Sunday 5:19 pm
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Your wife left you because she kept finding dirty sprockets in the bath and you had "XTR" engraved on your wedding ring.
>> No. 5042 Anonymous
2nd February 2020
Sunday 7:31 pm
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Road cycling is so much more dangerous than trail riding or proper MTB.

Anyway, you're all puffs.
>> No. 5043 Anonymous
2nd February 2020
Sunday 7:37 pm
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>> No. 5044 Anonymous
3rd February 2020
Monday 10:22 pm
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All roadies are bumders and need to learn how to ride properly.

>> No. 5045 Anonymous
3rd February 2020
Monday 11:27 pm
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That fat lump is out of breath going downhill and he didn't even have the decency to ride up. Also, he wouldn't last five minutes in the pro peloton without causing a giant pileup.

>> No. 5046 Anonymous
3rd February 2020
Monday 11:30 pm
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>All roadies are bumders

Just because a gentleman likes to wear skintight lycra, shaves his legs, spends all day bent double and finishes off with a vigorous lower-body massage, you assume he prefers to ride up the back roads. How very dare you!
>> No. 5047 Anonymous
3rd February 2020
Monday 11:47 pm
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Imagine the weight savings with a carbon buttplug instead of a saddle.
>> No. 5048 Anonymous
4th February 2020
Tuesday 8:37 am
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Only because he doesn't have a team of a dozen people to feed him banned drugs under the table.
>> No. 5049 Anonymous
4th February 2020
Tuesday 8:40 am
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As a roadie you might be unfamiliar with the so-called GoPro effect. Some of what you see in that video that you might think you could handle would certainly scare you off if you saw it in person. Cameras only tell lies in MTB.
>> No. 5050 Anonymous
4th February 2020
Tuesday 10:58 am
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I think most roadies have experienced a version of this, where you try to take a picture of an incline that you nearly lost a lung trying to climb, but it just looks almost entirely flat in the image.
>> No. 5051 Anonymous
4th February 2020
Tuesday 6:01 pm
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I think you give them too much credit. I'm sure most of them shy away from uphill inclines.
Monkey Dust - Cyclists.mp4
>> No. 5052 Anonymous
4th February 2020
Tuesday 8:11 pm
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>> No. 5053 Anonymous
4th February 2020
Tuesday 9:05 pm
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>> No. 5054 Anonymous
4th February 2020
Tuesday 9:51 pm
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go pro vs reality.jpg
>> No. 5055 Anonymous
4th February 2020
Tuesday 9:57 pm
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Needs big balls to do that, something you roadies lack from all that pudendal nerve damage and taint chafing.
>> No. 5056 Anonymous
4th February 2020
Tuesday 11:41 pm
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I must admit, that video is absolutely fucking mental. Every bit of it. But particularly the tree and rock sections. And the speed along the ridges. And the jumps fuck me the jumps.

I am old and jealous but thrilled watching it.
>> No. 5057 Anonymous
5th February 2020
Wednesday 12:24 am
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As someone who spent a lot of time in skate parks (albeit many, many years ago), the speed and the jumps don't bother me per se. All those fucking trees, though! And the generally uneven terrain and lack of visibility. Jesus. It'd be like riding a vert ramp with metal bars jutting up out of it for no good reason, only blindfolded.
>> No. 5058 Anonymous
5th February 2020
Wednesday 1:17 am
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Visibility is a lot better in real life, don't forget your eyeline will be 6 feet or more on a mountain bike.

Learning to react to the terrain is the whole point, of course.
>> No. 5059 Anonymous
9th February 2020
Sunday 3:46 pm
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the cyclists.jpg
As an impartial arbiter who has never held any interest in cycling, I can confirm that mountain biking looks like an exciting and challenging hobby for fun people while road cycling looks like an exercise in lycra-clad self-flagellation for office workers too dull to find the sort of girlfriend who'll perform all that genital torture they're secretly craving.
>> No. 5060 Anonymous
9th February 2020
Sunday 4:10 pm
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Nah m8. If you're reasonably fit, your bike is sorted and you've got a bit of sense, road cycling is gentle and almost effortless. You fall into a groove where your legs keep turning and the miles keep ticking over. It sounds bonkers, but you get to the point where you can go out for a 100 mile ride on a Sunday morning and still have loads of gas left in the tank.

Also roadie birds are much fitter than MTB birds.

>> No. 5061 Anonymous
9th February 2020
Sunday 4:27 pm
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Are jules does plenty of MTB too to be fair.

All the proper naughty ones also do track/crit cycling too mind. I'd list some names but it's a bit weird since I know quite a few of them.
>> No. 5248 Anonymous
12th July 2020
Sunday 9:27 am
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While I'm not doing all this optimised, I'm trying to lose weight.
I used a site to roughly calculate how many calories I need to eat to lose x amount every week.

My weight loss has been steady, losing 400-500g a week. That was just from dieting on calories in, no binging, no urges etc. For the past 2 weeks I've been doing 30 minutes on a rowing machine with a rest day here and there. The machine itself says I've burnt around 550 calories each session.

Now I realise I've probably built up some muscle which skews the scale reading and muscle is heavier than fat, but I was expecting more of a loss. If these were to carry on with no change then even with a calorie deficit and 30mins a day on the rower I'll only be losing 400g a week.

I exercise in the morning, a hour or 2 after breakfast, then have small lunch an hour or 2 after. Then have my dinner around 4-5pm.

The question that I'm getting to lads is. Once my muscle is built up, will my weight loss (on the scales) increase or is the fact I exercise in the day before having dinner just making my body take on the calories burnt so to speak, limiting my weight loss?

I'm not some gymrat or an exercise enthusiast so apologies if this is a simple or stupid question.
>> No. 5249 Anonymous
12th July 2020
Sunday 9:42 am
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Muscles need more energy to be maintained than fat, so you will burn more calories with more muscle. There is a balance point between eating too much to feed your muscles and not losing weight, and eating too little and losing muscle gains, but you will find that yourself.
>> No. 5250 Anonymous
12th July 2020
Sunday 9:51 am
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The increased muscle will increase your metabolism more than the same weight of fat.

You should consider water retention when losing weight. Which can throw you off by up to 2 kg this is an important factor to consider. You can feel like you are making no progress for weeks and then suddenly drop a KG overnight.
>> No. 5253 Anonymous
15th July 2020
Wednesday 9:11 pm
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Very happy to be under 70kg again. Diet going great with the lockdown - worried about the return to commuting, going into that London every day and all the temptations of snacking/drinking.
>> No. 5254 Anonymous
16th July 2020
Thursday 10:12 am
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Did you lose a leg or something?
>> No. 5255 Anonymous
16th July 2020
Thursday 10:27 am
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Thinking about it, do people weigh more when they have an erection?
>> No. 5256 Anonymous
16th July 2020
Thursday 10:42 am
5256 spacer

Why would they? The body is still made up of the same amount of matter, you don't absorb part of the ground.
>> No. 5257 Anonymous
16th July 2020
Thursday 11:03 am
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Greater volume?
>> No. 5261 Anonymous
16th July 2020
Thursday 5:02 pm
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Christ you're thickdense.
>> No. 5262 Anonymous
16th July 2020
Thursday 5:29 pm
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In other words, when you get a stiffy, the rest of you shrinks?
>> No. 5263 Anonymous
16th July 2020
Thursday 5:49 pm
5263 spacer
I thought a stiffy is when blood fills your willy. So a normal state might be 10 litres of blood in the rest of the body and 10 ml in penis. When aroused, it's 1010 ml of blood in your penis and 9 litres in the rest of your body. So it's still the same amount of blood weight, just distributed differently.
>> No. 5264 Anonymous
16th July 2020
Thursday 6:07 pm
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>> No. 5265 Anonymous
16th July 2020
Thursday 6:17 pm
5265 spacer
There's more to a stiffy than just blood. The muscles become fully engorged.
>> No. 5266 Anonymous
16th July 2020
Thursday 7:51 pm
5266 spacer
Water expands in volume by roughly 10% when frozen so if you wanted a bigger stiffy you could flash-freeze it.
>> No. 5267 Anonymous
16th July 2020
Thursday 9:40 pm
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Don't go giving mutilation-lad any more ideas until we get pictures of his last escapades.
>> No. 5268 Anonymous
17th July 2020
Friday 1:33 am
5268 spacer

Don't give me that face, Limmylad. It's pure thermodynamics here.

Your cock gets bigger. That's mass, in the form of blood, being distributed to the penis, which previously dwelled within your liver and your ear lobes and that flap of skin under your elbow. Therefore the rest of you body has lost mass, in order to allow the penis to gain it.

That's science that is lad. Getting a hard on makes the rest of you shrink. Especially when you're endowed like me.
>> No. 5269 Anonymous
17th July 2020
Friday 1:47 am
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I wish we had a better indication than actual LOL..
>> No. 5270 Anonymous
17th July 2020
Friday 7:59 am
5270 spacer
That's it. Who owns a set of scales? The only way to resolve this is conducting our own research.
>> No. 5271 Anonymous
17th July 2020
Friday 8:37 am
5271 spacer
>>5270 Anyone who thinks that the mass will change, is unlikely to run a well designed experiment, but have at it.
If the scales read more, by about 250g, it's because the engorged fella is now holding a copy of razzle.
Does razzle even still exist? Do porn mags still exist?
>> No. 5272 Anonymous
17th July 2020
Friday 9:04 am
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I think a spring scale attached to the penis would resolve those issues.
>> No. 5273 Anonymous
17th July 2020
Friday 9:05 am
5273 spacer
No no the only scientific way to do it is through displacement. You have to stick your knob into a bucket of water and then weigh the bucket.
>> No. 5322 Anonymous
19th July 2020
Sunday 7:11 pm
5322 spacer

Nonsense. You'd have to submerge your whole body excluding the knob; and then repeat the procedure when you have a lob on.

I would recommend a healthy dose of viagra to keep the chap up, because we'll need to repeat the test several dozen times at least to eliminate any variance at the accuracy levels we'll need.

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