>>5031
Yeah but I am also really really tempted by one of these electric road bikes.

>>5034

Get a proper road bike and you too could have the magnificent physique of an elite athlete.

>>5031 >>5034 >>5035
Recreationally inhaling car exhaust fumes is not proper cycling.

>>5036

That's you, that is.

>>5037
Pretty sure you'd be the one falling off at the hint of any bumps.

>>5038

I ride on these things that were especially designed to be good for cycling on; I believe they're called "roads".

>>5039
Face it mate: you're the type of person to go bowling with the gutters up.

>>5040

Your wife left you because she kept finding dirty sprockets in the bath and you had "XTR" engraved on your wedding ring.

>>5040

Road cycling is so much more dangerous than trail riding or proper MTB.

Anyway, you're all puffs.

>>5042

GET A REAL BIKE.

>>5042

All roadies are bumders and need to learn how to ride properly.

>>5044

That fat lump is out of breath going downhill and he didn't even have the decency to ride up. Also, he wouldn't last five minutes in the pro peloton without causing a giant pileup.

>>5044

>All roadies are bumders

Just because a gentleman likes to wear skintight lycra, shaves his legs, spends all day bent double and finishes off with a vigorous lower-body massage, you assume he prefers to ride up the back roads. How very dare you!

>>5046

Imagine the weight savings with a carbon buttplug instead of a saddle.

>>5045
Only because he doesn't have a team of a dozen people to feed him banned drugs under the table.

>>5044
As a roadie you might be unfamiliar with the so-called GoPro effect. Some of what you see in that video that you might think you could handle would certainly scare you off if you saw it in person. Cameras only tell lies in MTB.

>>5049

I think most roadies have experienced a version of this, where you try to take a picture of an incline that you nearly lost a lung trying to climb, but it just looks almost entirely flat in the image.

>>5050
I think you give them too much credit. I'm sure most of them shy away from uphill inclines.
Monkey Dust - Cyclists.mp4

>>5049

>>5045

Needs big balls to do that, something you roadies lack from all that pudendal nerve damage and taint chafing.

>>5044
I must admit, that video is absolutely fucking mental. Every bit of it. But particularly the tree and rock sections. And the speed along the ridges. And the jumps fuck me the jumps.

I am old and jealous but thrilled watching it.

>>5056
As someone who spent a lot of time in skate parks (albeit many, many years ago), the speed and the jumps don't bother me per se. All those fucking trees, though! And the generally uneven terrain and lack of visibility. Jesus. It'd be like riding a vert ramp with metal bars jutting up out of it for no good reason, only blindfolded.

>>5057

Visibility is a lot better in real life, don't forget your eyeline will be 6 feet or more on a mountain bike.

Learning to react to the terrain is the whole point, of course.

As an impartial arbiter who has never held any interest in cycling, I can confirm that mountain biking looks like an exciting and challenging hobby for fun people while road cycling looks like an exercise in lycra-clad self-flagellation for office workers too dull to find the sort of girlfriend who'll perform all that genital torture they're secretly craving.

>>5059

Nah m8. If you're reasonably fit, your bike is sorted and you've got a bit of sense, road cycling is gentle and almost effortless. You fall into a groove where your legs keep turning and the miles keep ticking over. It sounds bonkers, but you get to the point where you can go out for a 100 mile ride on a Sunday morning and still have loads of gas left in the tank.

Also roadie birds are much fitter than MTB birds.

>>5060

Are jules does plenty of MTB too to be fair.

All the proper naughty ones also do track/crit cycling too mind. I'd list some names but it's a bit weird since I know quite a few of them.

While I'm not doing all this optimised, I'm trying to lose weight.
I used a site to roughly calculate how many calories I need to eat to lose x amount every week.

My weight loss has been steady, losing 400-500g a week. That was just from dieting on calories in, no binging, no urges etc. For the past 2 weeks I've been doing 30 minutes on a rowing machine with a rest day here and there. The machine itself says I've burnt around 550 calories each session.

Now I realise I've probably built up some muscle which skews the scale reading and muscle is heavier than fat, but I was expecting more of a loss. If these were to carry on with no change then even with a calorie deficit and 30mins a day on the rower I'll only be losing 400g a week.

I exercise in the morning, a hour or 2 after breakfast, then have small lunch an hour or 2 after. Then have my dinner around 4-5pm.

The question that I'm getting to lads is. Once my muscle is built up, will my weight loss (on the scales) increase or is the fact I exercise in the day before having dinner just making my body take on the calories burnt so to speak, limiting my weight loss?

I'm not some gymrat or an exercise enthusiast so apologies if this is a simple or stupid question.

>>5248

Muscles need more energy to be maintained than fat, so you will burn more calories with more muscle. There is a balance point between eating too much to feed your muscles and not losing weight, and eating too little and losing muscle gains, but you will find that yourself.

>>5248

The increased muscle will increase your metabolism more than the same weight of fat.

You should consider water retention when losing weight. Which can throw you off by up to 2 kg this is an important factor to consider. You can feel like you are making no progress for weeks and then suddenly drop a KG overnight.

Very happy to be under 70kg again. Diet going great with the lockdown - worried about the return to commuting, going into that London every day and all the temptations of snacking/drinking.

>>5253
Did you lose a leg or something?

>>5254
Thinking about it, do people weigh more when they have an erection?

>>5255

Why would they? The body is still made up of the same amount of matter, you don't absorb part of the ground.

>>5256
Greater volume?

>>5257
Christ you're thickdense.

>>5256

In other words, when you get a stiffy, the rest of you shrinks?

>>5262
I thought a stiffy is when blood fills your willy. So a normal state might be 10 litres of blood in the rest of the body and 10 ml in penis. When aroused, it's 1010 ml of blood in your penis and 9 litres in the rest of your body. So it's still the same amount of blood weight, just distributed differently.

>>5262

>>5263
There's more to a stiffy than just blood. The muscles become fully engorged.

>>5265
Water expands in volume by roughly 10% when frozen so if you wanted a bigger stiffy you could flash-freeze it.

>>5266
Don't go giving mutilation-lad any more ideas until we get pictures of his last escapades.

>>5264

Don't give me that face, Limmylad. It's pure thermodynamics here.

Your cock gets bigger. That's mass, in the form of blood, being distributed to the penis, which previously dwelled within your liver and your ear lobes and that flap of skin under your elbow. Therefore the rest of you body has lost mass, in order to allow the penis to gain it.

That's science that is lad. Getting a hard on makes the rest of you shrink. Especially when you're endowed like me.

>>5268
I wish we had a better indication than actual LOL..

That's it. Who owns a set of scales? The only way to resolve this is conducting our own research.

>>5270 Anyone who thinks that the mass will change, is unlikely to run a well designed experiment, but have at it.
If the scales read more, by about 250g, it's because the engorged fella is now holding a copy of razzle.
Does razzle even still exist? Do porn mags still exist?

>>5271
I think a spring scale attached to the penis would resolve those issues.

>>5272
No no the only scientific way to do it is through displacement. You have to stick your knob into a bucket of water and then weigh the bucket.

>>5273

Nonsense. You'd have to submerge your whole body excluding the knob; and then repeat the procedure when you have a lob on.

I would recommend a healthy dose of viagra to keep the chap up, because we'll need to repeat the test several dozen times at least to eliminate any variance at the accuracy levels we'll need.