>>14141
Someone who eats trains and the mentally ill.

>>14138
It's hardly a high barrier for entry, I wondered why you thought it was worth mentioning. I was hoping that calling you a massive gay twat would have precluded a response like this.

>>14143

>I wondered why you thought it was worth mentioning.

Because that's where it came from

>>14136
Wait what? GIF? That's not a fucking word!

>>14149
Neither was the tears-of-laughter emoji they had a few years ago. The whole thing is a PR exercise to get people to buy dictionaries or whatever it is they're selling.

I know compliance people are almost always oddballs but we've had a new compliance guy recently start at work and he just makes everything a massive ballache.

He'll take several sentences to say something he could have got across in a few words. He also has a habit of making everything he gets involved with awkward and overly-complicated, slowing them down for no real reason other than he wants to make his mark on things.

>>14149
It most definitely is.

How much "homework" should you be expected to put up with at a job? I'm in a low skilled zero hour contract job in health and social care, and 15 minutes before a shift I get told I'm in charge of the client's benefits applications. I have received zero training on benefits, so they're expecting me to research it in my own time which seems kind of wanky.

>>14176
>How much "homework" should you be expected to put up with at a job?
If you're hourly paid, none whatsoever. Tell them that they need to clue you in or you can't be sure you're handling the client properly.

There's a severe shortage of care staff, and COVID/isolation is only making this worse, so it's not like they can afford to lose you.

>>14176

Absolutely none, if you are working you get paid for it. End of story. Don't stand for anything else. You have to be in a pretty important position before that changes, and even then doing it off your own back to try give yourself an edge, not just because it's expected.

It definitely shouldn't be part of your job, especially not for the kind of pay whatever agency you're contracted with is no doubt giving you. I'm fairly sure being asked to take responsibility over something like that with no training is against some sort of rules too, at least I would hope so.

Sadly a lot of the social care sector is in the hands of what can only be called cowboys these days. If they were builders they'd be the ones that ask for cash up front, dig up your garden, then drop off the face of the earth.

Stand your ground, there's a shortage of care workers right now, dare them to sack you.

Pre-coronavirus, my colleagues had a habit that I remembered recently and now I'm angry all over again. They mostly work from home now for 40 minutes a day and then just dick about, which is also annoying but in a different way.

But they used to always bring cakes in and refuse to eat them. They'd bring in 20-30 cakes, enough for a children's birthday party, and just say, "Hey, everybody! Eat all of these!" Sounds good, right? But they would never eat the cakes themselves. "Oh no, I couldn't eat a cake. I have to watch my figure. You eat one." I'd be in the middle of eating a microwave curry for lunch, and they'd storm in, reproachfully demanding to know why there are cakes left. But every single person in the entire company would also magically invent a diet that meant they couldn't eat the cakes either. I didn't; I would eat two or three. And then I'd have them shovelling 28 cakes at me like I'm a fucking wheelie bin. Piss off. Nobody wants your bloody cakes.

I recognise this is possibly the most minor complaint anyone has ever complained about ever in history, but I'm bloody glad they've stopped doing it. I can do without being blamed for wasting food as they tearfully bin 15 cakes they didn't even cook themselves, like that is somehow my fault when I'm the only person who ate even one.

>>14182

My lot still do this, but with biscuits - sometimes it's Jammie Dodgers, custard creams, that sort of thing, sometimes it's those Fox's selection boxes. They put them in the crew room and after some amount of casual conversation will directly offer you one, as if a load of fully grown adults in charge of various departments and hundreds of people would be too shy to pick up a bourbon and eat it unprompted, if they fucking wanted one.

There's a twist at my place, though - you'll come back half an hour later and all but one biscuit will have been eaten, I assume by the people who brought them in. It's a sick, disgusting mind game and I refuse to be part of it. Unless someone ever brings in some of those pink wafers, I've decided if that happens I'm just going to pick up a big fistful of them and waddle back to my desk, pink crumbs following me all the while.

>>14183
>as if a load of fully grown adults in charge of various departments and hundreds of people would be too shy to pick up a bourbon and eat it unprompted, if they fucking wanted one.

You say that, but it's quite common for people to wait for someone else to open a packet of biscuits. As soon as one person does this everyone else piles in.

I'm fully WFH now, but whenever I've had to briefly pop in the office to drop things off I've noticed they have at least two desks that seem to be constantly full of cakes. They're recently hired an absolute lech who is a sexual harassment case waiting to happen and he's got a habit of going up to the pretty girls with a chunk of brownie in his hand trying to encourage them to take it.

On weekends we work with a skeleton crew, so it's pretty hit and miss who you get. Today I've drawn the short straw of having the most boring set of fuckers and it's dragging like fuck.

The one I'm working directly alongside is one of those people who's as thick as porridge, completely fucking empty headed, they type where you can't even make jokes because they'll just look at you in confusion. It's honestly making the job harder just having to tolerate such a bland fucking person.

Oh well. Sundays are the most lucrative pay rate and I'm working every single one this month. Night shift on boxing day so I can still get pissed for Christmas as well as make that bank holiday double time bank. I suppose it's worthwhile in the end.

How much am I supposed to contribute to someone's retirement collection? There's someone else leaving this month as well. It does get out who has and who hasn't contributed to these things.

>>14186
If you don't like them - £0.
If you like them - £2.

I missed a call from a number I don't recognise on my work mobile a few hours ago. I've just rang them back and I had an old cockney bloke shouting abuse at me before hanging up.

Messaging me for a quick chat at 5.30pm. No.

I hate clients who tell me their whole life story on the phone. I know that if you want their money you are going to have to be prepared for a bit of banter and chit chat, and that's fine with me, but I had a slightly older woman this morning who went on for an inordinate amount of time about her family history and this and that. I often struggle to then just tell somebody, ok that's interesting, but let's get to the fucking point of this phone call, I've got about five other people that I need to call before noon.

>>14190
If it's an old-ish woman then you could be the only person she speaks to all day, humour them.

>>14191
The sooner AIs can converse with the lonely, the better.
Or, in this day and age, can't the terminally lonely phone each other?
Perhaps with some moderation to keep the scammers out. Oh gawd, it'd be a cesspit. Best stick with the AIs that just go 'hmm, that's nice'

>>14192

>>14192
hmm, that's nice

>>14192

>can't the terminally lonely phone each other?

OH EIGHT NINE ONE

>>14192
https://inews.co.uk/uncategorized/mental-health-charities-launch-loneliness-chatbot-on-whatsapp-1055270
Fair enough.

>>14196

If I was lonely and depressed because I had nobody to talk to, surely it would be uplifting to know that even charities
for the lonely can't be arsed anymore to have an actual person talking to me.

It's bad enough that they're already training AI to do remote medical diagnoses.

>>14195
I really wish I was stupid enough to dial FIFTY FIFTY FIFTY.

I have always rationalised it as a stupid shit version of IRC, but with people even more shouting into the void.

>>14195

>>14198

All those bright colours and the 90s, I assumed it was just a service for people whose ecstasy hadn't worn off when the afterparty finished.

I've had to sign up for LinkedIn through work. 99% of it is completely awful, but this morning I saw "man close to retirement posts a picture with his hand on his much younger girlfriend's arse" and it's really tickled me.

>>14201

That should make some prime rage bait.

>>14201

Those baubles are fucking ridiculous.

>>14203
You're just jealous.

>>14203
Let her burn through his money as she sees fit.

>>14204

Nah, if I want to shag a woman I couldn't pull unless I was rich I just get an escort. Having a long term relationship based on that dynamic seems like a hassle. Imagine being near retirement age and being dragged around Dunelm by someone more than half your age looking for 18" wide baubles.

>>14201
That is hilarious though. She'll be gone in a couple of year.

>>14201
Phwoar she could erect my tree IYKWIM

>>14206

Those are balloons.

>>14201
I bet one of those presents is a LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE wall ornament. She probably already has the "This House Runs on Prosecco" door mat.

>>14209

Putting balloons on a Christmas tree is even more mental than giant baubles.

>>14211
It would certainly give the cat something to think about.

>>14201
Porn really did a number on you mate.

>>14210
According to her LinkedIn profile she's a "leader, author, educator and blogger" managing a nursery in Dubai.

First day back since before Christmas. I really, really can't be arsed to do anything.

>>14215
Ditto. But actually I felt the same before Christmas. Somehow no-one seems to mind.

How easy is it to start a union? The chairman is very anti-union, which makes it even more of a fun project for me to start one.

>>14226
Probably far easier to invite an existing appropriate union in - they'll be well into it, and it's probably quicker.

"I know it's short notice, but can you give an hour long presentation to ~100 people tomorrow despite only having a couple of hours of proper training on the material because one of our usual presenters can't make it due to something that was entirely foreseeable?"

I like the company I work for because of how informal and laid back it is most of the time, but the dysfunctional management means every now and then something will crop up that's last minute and will need urgently sorting.

My work are expecting me to do one hour shifts at a client's house. So I have to pay £5 on the bus, travel an hour each way, for a net profit of £5. Absolute wank.

Someone has started a "side hustle" as a Body Shop At Home consultant, which means they're constantly trying to sell their wares.

I'm not sure if they count as pyramid schemes, but selling things like this, Avon and Usborne Books always seem to be aimed at so-called mumtrepreneurs.