>>12733
Talk to your bosses about "remote working".

>>12734
I'm the department manager, so I need to be in the office for dogshit meetings and occasionally arranging staff training courses. I am just cruising through the next few months until I get busier.

>>12735
Read some books, get really into Football Manager, embezzle company funds? This is a real opportunity here.

>>12736
I am spending most of my day looking at spreadsheets, the idea of football manager sounds tortuous. I've been listening to a lot of podcasts and I have a fortnight off coming up in a week

I'd fucking kill to be able to get paid to sit on my arse for a few working weeks and do nothing. I didn't even get lunch breaks until I approached my thirties.

I suppose the grass is always greener, my work days never seemed long, even when they were.

>>12737

As every prisoner and submariner knows, chess has the capacity to kill endless amounts of time.

https://lichess.org/

>>12738
Job was that?

>>12738

I mean, I'm not one of those managers you are on about, but my job does have a fair amount of downtime at certain points of the week depending what section you're in. A lot of the time, when you are forced to spend time at work with nothing much to do, it just breeds a feeling of contempt in me.

Instead of feeling good that I get paid to sit and do nothing, I can't help but think about all the much more valuable time I could be spending at home, doing something that feels more meaningful to me. I could be working on a song or developing my writing abilities. I think about all the time I've spent at work instead of doing those things, and how much I've neglected those passions because I have a job in order to pay my bills with a degree of security, instead of actually enjoying my life.

It's very depressing. At least when you have something to occupy yourself, the existential dread stays away until you find yourself sat posting about it on britfa on a Friday night.

Thinking about it, it's quite interesting how this thread has evolved over the past seven and a half years. We've gone from moaning about our superiors and how clueless head office staff are to feeling like imposters because we've suddenly found ourselves in managerial positions, struggling to fill the working day out and moaning about how useless our administrators are.

I think I might have a re-read of the entire thread about some point. Well, skipping the cunt-offs when race, cookies and whatever else sets you lot off were brought up.

>>12741
I know exactly what you mean about about a feeling of contempt. I am lucky enough that I can get out of the office regularly for site visits. Days like the past Friday where all I had to do was go to meetings and kill time between the meetings are soul destroyingly dull.

>>12742
I am bitter and jealous.

>>12743

I assume my first post in this thread was >>2693, it definitely sounds like me. I'd have been barely a commis chef then, freshly promoted from my part time dishwashing job after uni.

I'm definitely impressed with myself with what I've achieved in that time, but my job is now essentially getting paid to teach restaurants how to appease those sorts of cunty customers. What a meaningless existence.

I did always feel like I was missing out on the majority of the office based banter in this thread, but I've seen enough of that stuff now too to last me a lifetime. Why are they always called Sandra, though?

>>12746
I'm the OP of this thread. When I created it I was 22 years old and working four days a week doing admin for the local council, on about £12,000, as it's all I could really find after graduating. Now I'm 30 years old, a chartered financial planner and I've got a very realistic chance of earning six figures within the next few years.

When I first posted here I was a suicidal call centre drone. Now I'm a poorly paid and overworked NHS labrat. But at least I'm not suicidal.

(When I first started posting on Britchan I'd never even had a job, it boggles the mind.)

I think I posted this >>1802

I never imagined I'd be so miserable when I got here.

>>12749
Have you ever had to bring in pastries for your work colleagues on your birthday?

>>12750
No, they don't know when my birthday is because I haven't told them.

>>12751

Oh, so you're that guy.

>>12752
I don't know what that means.

>>12750
I avoid all the bollocks. I'll chip in on presents and sign an office card, but that's it.

I’m nostalgic for those shitty workspace dividers they had 10 years ago that you can see in OP’s pic. They weren't perfect but now I keep locking eyes with the woman who sits opposite me and it's getting weird. It’s like when you lock eyes with someone on the train and she becomes your train-girlfreind.

No attraction but my brain has certainly registered that something’s going on. “Yeah, I’ll give you a good hobnob, love”, I involuntarily say in my head as I pass the biscuits over. I don't want this at all but we’re both single and get along well enough that the office party could go terribly wrong. I know it will because I've been here before, we’ll end up alone. Then on my bed. Then she'll say we shouldn't after I'm bollock naked and I'll just go have a wank in the bathroom to spite her.

>>12755
Mate, when a women says "We shouldn't" instead of "No." she is asking for permission, not declining consent.

At this point, you have to reassure her. First with your words, then with your cock.

EVERYONE KEEPS SNEEZING AND NOW I'M SNEEZING AND MY NOSE IS RUNNING.

>>12762
Here lies Anon, he was a Ladm9.

This is the first December I'm self employed and it's only just dawned on me that I don't have to do secret santa, thank fuck. It also dissuades me from ever expanding my business as I never want to have to do it again.

I might still buy myself a bottle of spirit that I've never, ever, given an indication that I enjoy, though, for old time's sake.

As the new guy I didn't really have a choice when it came to the team Christmas dinner/lunch. Can't be doing with being anymore anti-social even if I do end up with nobody to talk to.

But goddamn, I'm a working class lad from the provinces who has always worked in offices full of blokes. Can someone please translate this menu into normal meals. I assume chicken fatayer is like chicken pierogi with sour cream dip?

>>12766

Mains:

Vegetarian lumps
Fish kebab
Spicy chicken pie
Spicy roasted lamb

>>12766

Okay,

Butternut squash kofta - pumpkin ball curry

Tuna shish - fish on a stick and chips

Chicken fatayer - chicken pasties but spicy

Mechoui - lamb and dip and that

>>12767>>12769

The britfa hivemind is almost perfect now.

>>12767
>>12769
Ah, chicken is the safety as usual then. Now I can relax and look forward to getting the chair with one leg slightly shorter than the others and hearing 'hilarious' stories about everyone's children.

>>12766
You want the lamb. The problem with mezze or tapas on a work do is that there will inevitably be a number of women who barely eat anything, but you'll look greedy if you have more than your fair share.

This afternoon's topic: Why Tommy Robinson should be Prime Minister.

>>12784
I hope the answer is "because we need a useful idiot to blame when everything goes tits up".

>>12785
Apparently it's because he talks about things that the mainstream media don't cover enough, something about two boys getting ran over in London that didn't seem overly coherent, and that Syrian refugee kid in Huddersfield didn't deserve to get £150,000 via GoFundMe because he wasn't really waterboarded and there's two sides to every story so he probably deserved it as there's loads of brown people in Huddersfield so it probably wasn't even racist

>>12784
I get Macron and Michelle Obama when those discussions come up because everyone in the office is centre left. Having a Tommy Robinson supporter to throw the cat amongst the pigeons would be dream for me.

Why are work people so strange, lads. They're not at all like people you would meet in your day to day affairs.

>>12787
She moved on to how much she hates feminists because they've got Baby It's Cold Outside banned on the radio in America.

I don't mind people having differing political opinions, it's just when what they're saying is half-baked bollocks based on Chinese whispers.

>>12788
>they've got Baby It's Cold Outside banned on the radio in America.

Sign me up.

I've had a few pints at lunch and I'm finding it really hard to stay awake, nevermind actually doing any work.

I realise this will sound like 'whining about millennials' but there is something about people around the age of twenty where they don't seem capable of entirely thinking through what they're doing and keeping other people informed if what they're doing affects them.

>I'm going to allocate this internal phone number to a new starter, but I'm not going to bother informing the person whose number this used to belong to or anyone else internally.
>I'm going to set up the video conference like I was asked to, but I won't actually tell the people involved when it's ready and I'll just go back to my desk instead.

Maybe instead of millennials I mainly just mean the gormless fat kid they've roped into doing minor IT tasks. These are just a couple of examples when there's many. It's not hard to keep people in the loop.

>>12791
People under 20 aren't generally classed as Millenials, rather Gen. Z, or 'Zoomers'.

>>12791
In fairness your job sounds so boring I barely made it through the greentext.

>>12792
Don't say "zoomers" in the real world or you might look like a dafty.

I realise this will sound like 'whining about boomers' but there is something about people around the age of thirty five plus where they don't seem capable of entirely thinking about any perspective other than their own and thinking about how not every action revolves around them.

>I'm going to whine about an internal phone number that has obviously got good reason to be passed on occasionally solicit a call from somebody who hasn't rang it for a while and instead of explaining this number has been moved, get all grumpy
>I'm going to assume that these people are my obsequious slaves and when I ask them to do something I'm going to expect them to run up to me and fill me in with every detail rather than check for myself.

Maybe instead of boomers I just mean moany people who won't give 20 year old lads new to the workplace a break. These are just a couple of examples. It's not hard to go easy on people and check things yourself.

>>12794
I had to re-check the URL bar to make sure I'm not on reddit. Have a word with yourself. Thanks.

>>12795
Young 'uns get a bit tetchy and defensive if you point out they're a bit clueless and need to employ a bit of common sense, especially if they're graduates with a large sense of entitlement (as per >>6766).

Found in a job spec:
>You are entitled to 33 days’ paid holiday during each holiday year. This is made up of 22 days annual holiday plus 8 Statutory Bank and Public holidays (pro rata for part time staff). You will also receive your birthday off each year (or the closest working day) and 1 additional day if no sick leave is taken from 01/01 - 30/06 and 1 additional day if no sick leave is taken 01/07 - 31/12 each year.

>>12796
>>12795

Honestly nothing worse than a load of sad act cunts dead inside in an office acting all high and mighty because the processes of work have been ingrained into their soul so they act all haughty in front of the new lads because it's the only thing they've got.

Have a word with yourselves.

>>12797

Always see the whole birthday off thing as a sign of a shit company.

If you see that and are attracted by that, ask yourself why you're not just getting an extra day's leave to take when you want.

What a load of shite. Also, including bank holidays in the total leave is shite.

Thank god I'm employed somewhere decent that doesn't pull any of that crap.

>>12797
I was offered a job before (St. James's Place) where one day's leave in each quarter was dependent on not being sick during it. I turned them down.

>>12799

I saw a company advertising and the top two things on their list of 'perks' was "birthdays off" and "free fresh fruit!"

Imagine how shite that place must be that they're bragging about having a bowl full of apples on reception.

>>12799

It's the same with most "perks". They're cynical bait for dimwitted employees at shithouse companies. I worked in a call centre at one point and there were monthly "incentive days" for the top salesmen - go karting, paintball, that sort of thing. Just fuck off and give me the money, you patronising pricks. I'm an employee, not a juvenile delinquent on a rehabilitation scheme. I don't want to spend a second longer with these cunts than I am contractually obliged to.