>>4012
just wonder for how long someone can make things up in th record book? I mean sooner or later all things to do will run out?
especially living in the deprived location

>>4450
About this long [-----]

If I hear that fucking Vivaldi loop one more time

>>4450
Simply go back to the start of your book and say you handed another app in at x, reapplied at x, it worked for me for years.

However. Now they've given those new sheets out they seem to have REALLY cracked down on things, and I was sanctioned the other week for not writing down that i'd telephoned 3 employers a week as I had agreed to do in my Agreement, despite having done 15 other things and applied for 4 jobs.

>>4453
I was sanctioned because I'd only managed to crank out one application in a week. My excuse was that I was limiting myself to short-term, temporary work with a near-immediate start, and that they themselves had told me that phoning up and finding it wasn't appropriate didn't count as an application. The adviser said I hadn't been reasonable to restrict myself in this way, even though I had been offered a job and was waiting to start. (I'm now in that job.)

>>4453
been quite a time Im on JSA, Nobody seems to read my stuff. I think they all understand that its hard indeed to find a decent job anyway. Who wants minimum wage one? Or dead-end one? And you you can't get along with people?
Fuck, my self esteem was less working mini-wage then on benefits.

>>4455
What is this job program? I have been signing for nearly a year now and they keep talking about this. I have been sanctioned now though and risk losing 4 weeks money if they're not happy with the amount of applications I'm sending.

>>4457
Basicly you get put on a 2 years course with A4E, Ingeus or whichever provider serves your area. You have to go visit them about once a fortnight as well as signing on, filling your book in etc. With Ingeus, they keep wanting to send me on useless training courses that would basicly give me a certificate to say I can speak English and count to 3. I did work over christmas, but because it was only for 5 months I was put right back in with Ingeus upon signing on again.

They also keep hassling me to accept thier offer of a work experience placement, despite me telling them in no uncertain terms shall I work for no wage.

>>4460
Those tests, so awkward.

>show up to room from people who look like they just stepped off a boat
>no English speaking people
>all stressing over 'test'
>sit down with test
>get up to check its the right test
>finish in 30s
>Angry glares from Johny foreigner
>29/30, spelled underneath wrong

Then I went upstairs to choose the job which would fit me and got told primark down the road were hiring when the computer said I would like being an industrial sea diver, 3 buses to get there too. bunch of cunts.

I don't know if it's the same across the UK, but the jobcentre lot are pushing people to go for youth employment scheme stuff, which is basically work experience. I'm not in much of a position to be picky but fuck me if I'm going to work 39 weeks at £52 a week. Half the 'jobs' on the jobcentre site seem to be this now.
It's not limited to actual professions or anything either, the number of 'work experience as a sales adviser' positions is fairly shocking.

How long do I have to wait after quitting my job before I can sign on to the dole?

>>4515
Depends, if you quit then it's 6 months, same if you were sacked.

Though you can always try claiming anyway, they dont check often.

>>4516
>Depends, if you quit then it's 6 months, same if you were sacked.
What's it dependent on then?

>>4517

If you're made redundant or left work through no fault of your own (constructive dismissal/unfair dismissal) then you're entitled to JSA immediately. If you left of your own volition or were sacked due to your behaviour, you can be sanctioned. The rules are quite complicated and subject to interpretation, so you should sign on anyway even if you expect to be sanctioned. There are hardship payments available, which you can claim even if you've been sanctioned if you'd end up completely skint. There are several rights of appeal which are often worth pursuing.

>>4515
I left my job and signed up for it straight away.
Make sure you find another job asap though. They fucked me over so bad by cutting me off without notice (becuase I quit my job), which stopped my housing benefit too so couldn't pay rent and had to sell all my stuff to do so, had to go 5 days without electric and surviving on dry weetabix, couldn't even get a crisis loan because I chose to quit my job.

>>4519
1. Quit your job without first securing alternative income
2. Receive benefit you aren't entitled to
3. Complain that the Jobcentre fucked you over

Modern Britain, ladies and gentlemen.

>>4519
>I left my job
You did read up about the benefit you were signing up to, right?

>>4520
>>4521

Don't be fucking arseholes.

>>4522
What's the problem here? Applying for JSA when you walked out is like applying for a blue badge when you've broken your leg. You simply can't claim to be hard done by in that situation.

>>4520
>>4521
First of all, it doesn't say here that people leaving their job can't claim JSA, and you would think that it would, given that it's an unemployed person's only means of support and therefore quite important:
https://www.gov.uk/jobseekers-allowance/eligibility

And secondly, being forced to stay in a job you hate by the threat of no public support when you leave it is an affront to your economic liberty, so this situation shouldn't even exist in the first place.

>>4524
>First of all, it doesn't say here that people leaving their job can't claim JSA
There's a booklet you pick up at the JCP all about JSA. That you can't get it if you were sacked or left without good reason is mentioned quite early on. I daresay there's a copy of this booklet on the webshite somewhere.

>And secondly, being forced to stay in a job you hate by the threat of no public support when you leave it is an affront to your economic liberty
If you're genuinely being mistreated, then you can claim that you were justified in leaving.

>>4519

1) See if you can get a sick note off your doctor, even if it's stress related.
2) See if the doctor will backdate the sick note, as ESA will backdate the payments up to 3 months if a sicknote covers the period.
3) As for JSA, they usually apply a sanction for up to 6 months if you willingly leave a job. You could avoid this if there were good grounds for leaving, but you would need to lodge an appeal against the JSA decision.
4) While JSA is sanctioned, you can claim hardship payments after 3 weeks, but they are usually only 40% of the benefit. You can apply for this every week.
5) Housing Benefit and Council Tax benefit automatically stop when JSA stops as it is a passport benefit. You can still claim Housing Benefit without receiving JSA, you need to fill in a nil-income statement and possibly provide bank statements to prove your lack of earnings for your claim period.
6) Go to a CAB or advice centre whenever you need help with supporting yourself you fucking idiot.

>>4525
This government webpage will be the first port of call for a significant number of people who want to claim JSA. You should expect it to clearly say that people who have recently left work are ineligible. You shouldn't have to be furrowing around in some booklet. It's a con enabling the DWP to avoid paying benefit to deserving people.

It's not about mistreatment; it's about having the leisure to find a job you enjoy and are suited to, rather than having to be a wage slave.

>>4527

Alternatively, speak to people who are paid to interpret and understand what the government says before you just quit your job.

>>4527
>This government webpage will be the first port of call for a significant number of people who want to claim JSA.
Yes, and if they're not idiots it won't be their last.

>>4529
>>4530
Maybe people don't have the time to do detailed research on what should be a simple entitlement because they, you know, have a full-time job. But, no, apparently it's their fault that
>The rules are quite complicated and subject to interpretation

>>4531

>Hi, I'm thinking of leaving my job, could you please advise me on that for free?

>>4527

>it's about having the leisure to find a job you enjoy and are suited to

If you feel that you're entitled to that by rights, then fair enough. Unfortunately for you, the majority of the electorate disagrees. Most people feel that the spirit of the welfare state is to provide a safety net for people who are in unavoidable hardship, not to subsidise the lifestyles of people who choose not to work.

You had a job, but you left because you didn't like it. You expected taxpayers - many of whom are also in jobs they don't particularly like - to pay your bills until you found a job more to your liking. Not unreasonably, the taxpayer told you to piss off. The benefits system is deliberately designed to prevent exactly what you wanted to do, because most people see it as parasitic. If you thought otherwise, then you were badly deluded.

>>4520
Yeah, I hated my job and stupidly quit, but the next day I was already looking for work.
My mistake for leaving before finding another, but I was actually seeking a job which I couldn't say for what % who claim Job SEEKERS allowance? So yeah, there's some entitlement and bitterness about the job centre fucking me over whilst they quite happily pay for other peoples weed who haven't had in interest in finding a job for years.

Anyway, I'm all sorted now, was just giving that guy a heads up as I didn't know the score when I quite, and this reply is primarily just to say fuck you.

>>4526
Ta for the advice, and insult, but as said I'm sorted now and have been in work for a year since the incident.

Some of the people on this site, christ.

>>4536

I'm glad you're sorted, but I needed to provide proper advice on your situation and similar situations in case anyone should find themselves in a similar predicament.

If you can't handle someone calling you a fucking idiot on the internet, perhaps you should stick to reddit rather than imageboards.

>>4536
>but I was actually seeking a job which I couldn't say for what % who claim Job SEEKERS allowance?
Approximately 0.something.

>entitlement and bitterness about the job centre fucking me over
The job centre didn't fuck you over. You fucked yourself over.

They're making me book in every week been about 4 months now.

When does it stop and I turn up every 2 weeks?

>>4666
About 2 years if it's the Work Programme.

I've been on probation at work for about 4 months now and I've been given another 6 weeks probation after which I will probably be let go for basically being too slow (I'm having a lot of trouble, this job really isn't for me at all). Will I be able to get JSA again afterwards or will I be rejected and starve to death?

>>4742

If you're fired then it's fine. It's just a problem if you voluntarily quit.

>>4743
I don't think that's true.

>>4744

It is.

>>4745
Only it isn't.

>If you were dismissed from your job, we’ll ask your last employer for the reasons. You will be able to comment on what they say. Jobcentre Plus will decide whether you have lost your employment because of your own actions. If we do decide that this is the case, you may lose your entitlement to Jobseeker’s Allowance from one to 26 weeks.

Much like leaving a job voluntarily, you need to show you acted reasonably.

>>4747

It sounds like he's being dismissed for legitimate reasons. I think that bit's to stop people doing something ridiculous to deliberately get fired because they know they're not allowed to quit.

>>4747

Only it is.

>If you were dismissed from your job, we’ll ask your last employer for the reasons. You will be able to comment on what they say. Jobcentre Plus will decide whether you have lost your employment because of your own actions. If we do decide that this is the case, you may lose your entitlement to Jobseeker’s Allowance from one to 26 weeks.

If you get fired, no sanctions will be imposed unless you were trying to get fired, i.e. you left voluntarily. If you leave voluntarily, you will be sanctioned, no exceptions.

>>4749
As >>4748 says, this is probably academic to >>4742, but you've got a serious case of confirmation bias going on there. Misconduct is not synonymous with "trying to get fired".

http://www.tuc.org.uk/extras/jsasanctions.pdf

>>4750

You're correct, but you don't get sanctioned for misconduct related firing, unless the person on the other side of the desk is a cunt or behind on his quota. The JSA quote is misleading.

>>4749

I know someone who quit and told the Job Centre his work environment was so stressful he couldn't continue there because it would damage his health, and they accepted it. He was completely genuine though and got another job very soon after.

>>4752
Christ, I'd never have expected that to fly in this Tory day and age.

Just been told I have to start signing weekly.

Cunts, where do they expect me to pull the extra busfare from? Especially paying the fucking bedroom tax.

it's like they want us unemployed folk to go on the rob.

>>4751
[citation needed]

If you were dismissed for misconduct, you are liable to lose entitlement for 26 weeks, just like leaving a job without a good reason. AIUI, this isn't a sanction, you're simply not entitled and your claim will either fail or result in a nil award.

>>4758
I thought you could reclaim your bus fare while they make you sign on weekly?

>>4762
I'll have to look into that one, nobody mentioned it.

>>4764
If they aren't mentioning this stuff, there should be plenty of leaflets sitting on the racks explaining what you're entitled to. Look for one about travel benefits.

One thing they seem to be keeping top secret is the Jobcentre Plus Travel Discount Card, it gets you half fare on the train. If you're in London you can get the slightly better-known Bus & Tram Discount Photocard for your Oyster.

Ahhh fun times to be at the Job centre.
Was signing on today and then a bloke started shouting and kicking off, slamming the desk and knocking shit about.
From what I heard, he was sick of being treated like shit every time he went there, they cant cut his money off for doing 9 things instead of ten, he can barely get by as is and feed his kids etc so they're taking food form his daughters mouth.

Then the security bloke came over and grabbed him and they had a scuffle before the coppers showed up form over the road.

To be fair, I dont blame him.

>>4772
Sounds like he was a muppet for being suckered into signing for ten things. Most I've ever had on any of my JS agreements was two. Got no questions when I was doing much more, and didn't get into trouble during the slow weeks.

>>4773
I have to do 14 things a week and they wont take no for an answer. A large increase from 3 which i'd done for 4 years previous.

A tip for the dolesumlads:

HE colleges often have some very good courses, which actually improve your employability.

I paid 30 quid for a course worth three grand due to providing a dole slip.

This is likely to be in breach of your JSA terms, but if you don't tell anyone at the job centre you will be fine. The colleges do not pass your info on to the government. Just keep your head down and ensure that your tutor knows in advance that once a week/fortnight you may have to miss a class.

Jus' sayin'.

>>4777
>This is likely to be in breach of your JSA terms

If you do a part-time course then you should be alright, although you'd be expected to give up the course for a job.

>>4778

Nah, only if it is less than 15 hours a week - my experience was 18 hours.

Kept mum and did it, bullshited the job seeking, then walked into a job 3 months later. A job dependent on the course, and arranged two months before I finished.

I kept in touch with one of the senior guys at the job centre, and we would go for a pint on a Friday. I mentioned what I had done one day, and he told me that he would have done the same. He was a thoroughly decent guy, which is why I ket in touch, but he also said that one word out of place and I would have been seriously fucked. But the fact that this risk existed was nonsence of the highest order.

Last week I went in and they would not refund my dayrider ticket despite having done so an eternity of times before, they would only give me back the price of a return.

Today, they wont refund bus tickets in Cash anymore.
Nope, my £3.70 will be refunded to my bank within 5 working days. Lovely since I needed it for milk on the way home.

>>4819
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-23058853

It's only going to get worse for doleychaps from today.

>>4872
When I was on the dole I was always weekly. Does this mean my advisor hated me? She always seemed really nice.

>>4872
From April, actually.

So basically it's time for me to get some dole; I've been pretty much full on hikkomori for the last few months because of crippling depression and I'm getting into trouble now with debts (I was hoping I'd get a job without having to go on the dole, but of course I was a lazy twat).

>Online claims begin on the date they are submitted. In very exceptional circumstances only, it may be possible for a claim to start from an earlier date and then only with a valid reason provided. Do you want your claim to start from an earlier date?

This came up on the site, so is it possible I could get my claim started from when I actually lost my job? That was around May time.

>>5012

Only if you can prove that you were unable to make a claim at an earlier date. If you can get a diagnosis of depression or agoraphobia it might be worth a punt at getting your claim backdated.

>>5013
Then they'll argue because you were not well, you were not entitled to JSA for that period and should have claimed one of the various disability benefits.

>>5014

If he was too ill to be actively seeking work then yes. He was too ill to make a claim, let alone actively seek work.

If he could get a sick note, maybe he could apply for ESA and try to backdate that.

Cheers lads. I'll give it a go anyway, try and blag whatever I can from them. I should be able to get a sick note so that route might be a goer.

Went in for an appointment today and all they did was have me sign some forms and gave me an appointment for a different jobcentre that's technically nearer but is full of even more chavs. I assumed this is part of the normal bureaucracy but I didn't have the balls to ask when I'll start getting my fucking money- So when do I start getting my fucking money?

>>5031
When your claim gets processed. Last spell I was on, my first signing appointment was the day after my induction appointment, and I still hadn't been paid by the following appointment two weeks later.

Went to sign on today, and been told for the next fortnight i have to sign on every day, starting tomorrow.

Great, thanks for the notice enough to put aside the extra busfares.

>>5062
Daily signing? What the actual fuck? You will of course be demanding a refund of those bus fares at your appointments and not leaving until you get it. Not a promise of a refund, but the cash itself. Be civil but firm.

>>5063
Oh they give refunds, but straight into your bank now, within 48 hours.

Cant get £3.60 out of the bank without fucking about.

>>5062

are you fucking serious?

im thinking of signing and theres no way i can hack going daily

Please respond.

>>5065

I think they only do that if you piss them off or slack with your jobsearch and need "extra help". If you act keen and apply for at least as many jobs as they ask you to, there should be no problem.

>>5065
To be honest, with your punctuation and capitalization, you're lucky they let you sign on at all. Arsecunt.

>>5067
I became a grammar-Nazi because of this place.

>>5065
been told it's because I've just come off the work program, so it's a period of increased assistance. Which means, in the 3 days I've signed on extra, I've been made to wait half an hour, signed a bit of paper and left without fuck all happening. What takes the piss is that during being on TWP, I worked for 5 months before being laid off. However you have to be in work for 6 for the slate to be wiped so to speak, so they treat me as If I've been out of work for over 2 years.

Haven't claimed JSA before, went in for a meeting last week and was told "Your partner earns £800 a month? That's more than £400, so he should be able to support the both of you". Didn't even get chance to sit down, seemed like a firm no.

So is that that? Does that assume we'd be getting housing benefit?

>>5087
My friend had something similar, she was a couple of months short of being able to claim contribution-based JSA which, IIRC, she'd have been able to claim even though her boyfriend has a decent job.

No idea about housing benefit, call the council.

Lads.

I've just been told "off the record" By my Advisor blokey that starting next Thursday, everybody on JSA will be made to sign on weekly. And that advisor appointments are being rolled into regular signing on days. Therefore, the new rules are that you must show up at such and such time, but must allow for an hours wait to see an advisor.

>>5113
I'm not buying it.

>>5114
He said it was being introduced on the quiet, and people would get letters when they signed on next.

Hey guys. I applied on monday and haven't gotten any replies back. So yeah, it's been an entire week when they said it'd take 2 working days. Any idea what's going on?

>>5207
Anyone with a bag of spuds might suggest that this was a sneaky way of keeping the claimant count down.

I remember applying online, and receiving a text message a couple of days later. The message said my appointment was the following morning.

>>5205

I applied and, IIRC, at the end of the form it said they'd text me within two days to set up a Job Centre interview. It got to 4.30pm on the second day and I hadn't heard anything so I went into the Job Centre and they told me they HAD made an appointment for me the following day, they just hadn't bothered to tell me about it.

>>5209

They didn't even apologise or anything. She just laughed and said, "It's a good job you came in then."

>>5211

They are utterly useless wanks. Sorry you have to deal with them right now. I've known some people who worked for them and they were all a bit strange, to say the least. It seems they like to pick a strange breed and run an even stranger ship.

>>5289

My dad has worked at a jobbie for 40 years, and to hear him tell it it's even more depressing to work there than it is to sign on there. He's had chairs lobbed at him, been threatened with a sawnoff, had people come in bollock naked to claim etc. I imagine it gets to you.

They don't pick 'a strange breed', they pick from the small, shitty pool of candidates that are suitably qualified, but autistic/offputting enough not to have any other offers. Generally supplemented with ex-Fraud Squad old farts like the old man, who remember the days when they had more powers than the police and are just hanging on until retirement and don't really give a toss.

>>5297

Your dad sounds like a horrible person.

>>5312
And you sound like a complete cunt. How dare you say that.

>>5313
He is right. His dad does come off a bit cuntish.

>>5313

> How dare you say that.

Shouldn't that end in a question mark? Plus, why not dare? It's not like anyone here is scary or there's anything to really dare. It's not like Goodfellas here.

I had the completely bizzare phenomenon of having a decent job center worker the other month.
I had transfered in after moving to the area, and in my first meeting with him, after he finished telling me all of the expesnes I could make claims for and how to do it. He then started offering me the abblity to get free training, I don't mean like shitty, how to apply for work and how do you turn on a computer level, I mean genuine training that job seekers would pay for (and up to ten grands worth). I was preparing a proposal for SQL and six sigma training when I unfortunately became employed, I think that doing those courses would have been potentially better for my career then getting a job right then.

The man was the very model of what the system should be like, and I don't understand why people like him don't exist more.

>>5322
>I mean genuine training that job seekers would pay for (and up to ten grands worth).
I think you ran the risk of being suckered into something there. That sort of thing isn't at the adviser's discretion at all. The office as a whole would have a budget for additional training, and unless you were signing on at Scum Central £10k would have likely blown that budget for the month, if not the quarter.

>>5210
>>5211

Today I went in to sign and they informed me they'd closed my claim because I failed to attend an appointment on the 11th. They had supposedly sent me a letter about this appointment but I never received it so didn't know anything about it.

I've just completed my online "rapid reclaim". I wonder what the odds are they're going to "forget" to tell me when my new claim interview is again.

>>5328
Push them all the way on this one, because that FTA will be down on your record for the purposes of determining the length of any sanctions, which are now being given out willy-nilly.

>>5328
I had this happen to me before.
Had money cut off for a month while they investigated etc, got it all backpayed but they instantly blame you and not themselves.

>>5335
>>5336

I got the text message at 16.23 yesterday saying the appointment was at 14.50 today. I got another text at 12.45 today saying

>Your Jobseeker's Allowance has been awarded. We will confirm this by letter. Please continue to attend the Jobcentre as advised.

The woman at the appointment was really nice and just asked if I'd been on holiday or something.

I was expecting them to mess about for at least a month because that's what they did last time I made a new claim. When I phoned them that time they said they'd lost the paperwork and had to print my online application off again.

I am going to get an eye test and likely some glasses for basically nothing thanks to the JSA. Fellows, make as much as you can from what you're entitled to if they will help you in the long-run. They will also pay for you to get to interviews if you tell them, because it isn't a signing-on day, feel free to apply far and wide.
Only just started my claim, no cockups pissing me about like >>5337 just had, so hopefully I don't end up with the same of the other problems some of you seem to have had.

>>5352
If you haven't had a payment yet, expect it to take up to 4-6 weeks before they start (at which point you'll be back-paid to the start of your claim). Their "Universal Jobmatch" is not compulsory, and challenge anyone who tells you so. By using it, you risk giving DWP information that may lead to them stopping your benefit. If this principled stand doesn't impress, there's also the fact that it's shit and the competition (Reed, Indeed, Fish4) are much better.

If you are sent a job advert under the guise of trying to help you (it'll be a poor fit, and it'll be shit since half the office will have tried to fill it already), it may technically be a "notified vacancy" which can trip you up and lead to a stoppage.

>>5353
I got my payment today as it happens, no buggering about for some reason, I was probably ambiguous so sorry about that - I made my claim a week ago yesterday and had my first sign-on this Monday.
My adviser has told me I have to go to the universal job match site and sign up for that, but I know it's a sack of shit and there are tonnes of graduate level jobs I can apply for right now, I will only sign onto that as a last resort if they threaten me with losing my benefits in the meantime and they corner me with having to do it. I didn't sign my agreement with that as a requisite, so I shall stick by this. There are some good German language jobs on that site that I have gone for.

>>5354

I delayed going on UJM for as long as possible but finally signed up and it doesn't seem to be as bad of a privacy violation as I thought it would be.

You can browse it without logging on so if they were to ask you why you hadn't been on it for ages you could just say you'd been doing that.

If you apply for a job that's handled internally by UJM, it just sends the employer your CV and doesn't seem to allow you to put a covering letter. Nowadays at least 90% of UJM vacancies either ask you to email or send you off to an offsite link. If the JobCentre asked you why you hadn't made any applications, you could tell them they weren't showing up on your UJM account because of that.

A lot of advisors know UJM is crap and find it perfectly acceptable for you to use other recruitment sites instead. You can sign up just to humour them (and so they can meet their target for sign ups) and then not use it.

When I was on UJW I would set a macro to roam around the pages and click on links then return and reset for a couple hours a day and then go look through myself and apply for a couple of dead end jobs with my professional CV or for professional jobs with my mundane CV. Nobody ever knew. If they required an email I sent them a good cover letter but my "sabotaged" cv which I designed specifically to be unappealing to employers without them really knowing why.

Worked for 9 months and then I accidentally got a job. Ho hum, at least I have money I suppose.

>>5377
I looked for 5 minutes a day, applying for 2-3 things a week with a naff CV.

They don't care about how long you spend on it, or if you apply for anything, only that the system flags you up as having logged on XX times a week.

http://welfarenewsservice.com/tory-government-will-deny-benefits-25s-cameron-pledges/

No Dole or Housing Benefit for under 25's if ARE DAVE stays in power.

>>5380

Seeing as there isn't enough jobs, college and Uni places or apprenticeships to go around, I think Dave might have just made a mistake here. 16 year olds are probably going to be able to vote by the next election. That's a rather large demographic to alienate in its entirety.

Not only can companies pay you less, you can't even count on a safety net if you happen to lose your job? I have lived alone since I was 17 without any family for help. I spent 3 of the years until I was 25 unemployed because no one would hire me and I needed to be out of my guardians care for 3 years to get a bursary from college. I couldn't go to Uni because I had no qualifications. Under this new rule I would have been homeless. That's scandalous. There must be thousands of lads and lasses out there who are in the same boat and they are being let down, damned to live on the streets.

Hopefully, Scotland becomes independent. I'd rather take that risk, with all we could lose, than be complicit in this blatant attack on the poor.

>>5381
>16 year olds are probably going to be able to vote by the next election
Lad...

>>5382

For anyone not following, British general elections are on a fixed schedule since the Fixed-term Parliaments Act 2011, so the date of the next election is set at the 7th of May 2015.

>>5381 >>5382 >>5383
My guess is the Conservatives aren't particularly popular among 16-18 year olds, and that alone means this would be very unlikely to happen this parliament.

>>5380
It's arsebackwards. Something needs to be done about low wages and high rents being subsidised by the state, but this isn't it.

Between January 2010 and December 2011 93% of new housing benefit claims were made by households with at least one person in employment. Apparently only one in eight benefit claimants are unemployed, with the remainder either in low paid employment, registered disabled or retired.

>>5384
Irrespective of political stance, does anyone really think that giving the vote to 16-year-olds is a good idea? They're still drawing anarchy A's on their pencil cases at that age.

>>5384

I don't know. I was a lot more right wing at that age because I didn't really know what looking after myself entailed when I was still living with my parents and I was still in the chase-my-dreams mindset, thinking the world was going to be my oyster.

>>5387
I'm 25 now and heavily political, and I'm racking my brains trying to remember if I had any strong political beliefs at 16. I think I was just trying to get through school.

>>5386
Yes. They're of age to join the forces (not actively go into combat, but any soldier is always at risk), be charged adult fares and so on.

Further, seeing as our elections are every 5 years the change will basically be more likely to include more young adults who missed out on a vote because of bad timing and would otherwise only be able to vote at 23.

>>5390
Are you proposing that under 18s should require parental consent to vote? You know, as they do to join the army.

>>5391
Think about your post for a minute lad.

>>5392
As easily as I've missed something, you missed my point. Ideas are better communicated when they're, er, communicated and not simply willed to the other party.

>>5393
But your post is a waste of time. I will not reply to it because it
a) ignores over 2/3 of the substance of my argument and
b) is just plain stupid. You may as well claim 'WELL ACCORDING TO YOU THAT MEANS VOTERS NEED TO SHINE THEIR SHOES AND LIVE IN A BARRACKS BEFORE THEY CAN VOTE. CHECKMATE ATHEISTS.'

Cunt.

I really don't think there is enough of a demand to lower the voting age amongst 16 and 17 year olds.

Hey lads. If I go on an internship for 6 months or so (no pay and no job at the end most likely) can I still get dole money?

My advisor said I can contact her if I need money for travel expenses and such but I was too scared to ask about this. They might think I'm working or some shit.

I got pretty internally distressed at the Hull JCP the other day sitting near some guy who was telling his advisor that he would be getting his SIA training in the coming week or so, saying how he'd pass the test after walking into the place. By the looks of it, he'd be talking about it for years and was probably an abuser of the ol' white cider, aka an unemployable bullshitter.
It's a sad fact that there'll be people who will remain like that in the world, but there's no point trying to punish them at all when there are others who are temporarily or two years in unemployment.
It was probably more to do with the fact there was nothing to really help him out there other than what the state can do for him, or any bit on the side, and also that the government hates poor wretches like that so much they're willing to throw the baby out with the bathwater and propose utterly insane incentives like picking up shit for benefits.

Sage for hating IDS.

I needed a JCP appointment to get a national insurance number. First they give me a date three weeks away, and then two days to it they call and say they'll have to give me a date two weeks later because they're "short staffed". I had a trip planned that day, so maybe two days later? Noo, they can't do that. I need to cancel and rebook for a new random time apparently. Lovely.

>>5440
Why didn't you get one when you turned 16?

>>5447
I assume that the words "filthy immigrant" are involved.

>>5447

Do they still issue them? I know the tight cunts stopped issuing replacements just recently.

>>5623
If you have a number, you don't need to replace it unless someone abused your identity. As for the cards, they probably shouldn't be necessary much beyond 21. If you can't recite your number immediately by the time you're 25 you need to see a doctor about possible neurological problems or check your job privilege.

>go to dole centre
>group session
>lady asks what your career goal is
>4 people said Games critic

kill me

>>5722

Ahahahaha...oh God. I pity thee.

I actually saw a Games Review vacancy on a journalism website the other day. $5 an article, with maximum payment of $50 a week. Even if they printed thirty of your articles.

>>5724
I imagine you can do a lot of work on the side, though. And judging by their prices, they aren't big on quality, so you can just rewrite stuff from IGN or whatever.

>>5722
An aspiration society.

>>5725

It's a decent income if you're living in the developing world and can do your weekly shop for $10, but there's no way you could survive on that sort of income in the developed world. You'd have to write an article in less than half an hour just to make minimum wage.

>>5727

It was more the cap on weekly earnings that had me chortling. Despite the fact that they were asking for 20-30 individual articles.

>>5727
I don't think it's supposed to be your only income, that's the thing. If you're a student and have enough time on your hand to write a bunch of low-quality articles for some extra cash, why not?
You can also be from India, though.

>>5725

Most games journalism has always been rewriting press releases and copy pasting content from one or two news sources. It's similar to the mainstream news recycling newswire and other newspapers, but even shittier as it is the lowest on the ladder of quality and respectibility other than writing articles for porn mags and sites.

>>5730

Grimsbygazettelad here. Nowt wrong with "writing articles for porn mags". It blew my mind how many of them are actually true - we get bombarded with shit there is no way we would run in print and we are a fucking local rag.

>>5731
>we get bombarded with shit there is no way we would run in print and we are a fucking local rag
Instead, they get picked up by the local fucking rag. Is that my coat?

I've never seen a local newspaper worth buying or anything in it worth reading. Utter drivel without exception. They make it even worse by actually aspiring to the quality of tabloids. Urgh.

>>5733

Get thee to Grimbsy.

>>5733
The poor bastards have to make a paper out of horses getting stuck in fences, have some pity.

My local paper regularly has stories of people getting trampled by cows, it's quite amusing.

http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/News/Parliamentary-Beard-of-the-year-goes-to-Cambridge-MP-Julian-Huppert-20131214150806.htm

>>5765
http://www.ripleyandheanornews.co.uk/news/local/jim-s-extra-special-trick-shot-1-6315961

>>5766

Gripping stuff. I hope they keep us updated with an extra edition or a breaking news bulletin interrupting TV viewing. Justice for the pool cue strong man!

>>5767
Something actually happened round here!
http://www.ripleyandheanornews.co.uk/news/local/jade-s-killer-sentenced-to-life-1-6329862

To get back on topic, any lazy dolescum after a topup on your state-sponsored beer money, have a word with some local agencies and see if any of them are handling the council's temps. They will want some in mid January to handle the extra load on their waste handling.

H-hey guys. I was given a "job oppurtunity" (well its an interview), how do i fuck it up so they dont hire me?

i rejected a previous one and got told off for it, apparently you're not allowed to reject shitty job offers. what a load of shit.

It's for a fucking hotel retail and it's nowhere near what I wanna do. any advice? do i just go in with muh trainers/trackies (i assume thats chav-like?) or some thing?

>>5782
No, you get the job, work and try to find something while actually being employed.

>>5782
Rinse your mouth and gargle with vodka before you go in.

>>5782

Take the job but keep looking for a better one.

(A good day to you Sir!)

>>5785
Did you really need to use the trite image macro?

Does anyone know on which days jobs are advertised in the Metro (newspaper)? I know Monday is one. I'm in Manchester if that makes a difference.

I have a feeling it might be Monday and Thursday.

I got called in for daily appointments this week to waste 2 hours travelling both ways for some "randomly decided benefits health check" in Hull. Yesterday I went in to confirm details, today I went in to be handed a list of agencies I got on my 1st week claiming in October.
Is there a point in any of this?

I also had a telephone interview on Monday for 2 jobs offered by an agency that both use my kraut-speak credentials, and I passed with flying colours. I am through to the next stage of the interviews, I'm 80% sure. The JCP hasn't helped in the slightest with anything, and they certainly haven't helped this week with pissing me around coming in at irregular times through the week.

>>5867
>Is there a point in any of this?
Tricking stupid people into thinking that they're actually doing something about all those supposed scroungers.

>>5867

>and they certainly haven't helped this week with pissing me around coming in at irregular times through the week.

They're not trying to help. They're just making it as much hassle as possible and making sure you're not working on the sly.

>>5871
This, it's changed over the past couple of years from actually helping, to just trying to get people off the books ASAP.

>>5878

and making it punitive. The "job club" entails doing a job search on a half-crippled computer with no right click and a ridiculously stringent firewall. They make people go in to do it at 9am (under threat of sanctions) even though they can do it much more effectively on a proper computer at home. They have people commuting for over an hour from far flung parts of Manchester to do it.

>>5879

and it earns the provider millions for the "help" they're giving.

>>5880

They also consider it a big coup when they get someone an apprenticeship as a cold-calling-PPI-pest.

>>5881
>>5867 here, when A4e had the contract they used to get quite the bonus from the DWP for finding someone "work." The condition was that it was supposed to be more than 16hrs a week (i.e. not part-time) and last for at least six months, now IIRC, they were investigated for fraud by the DWP and the rozzers for simply making things up - and they lost their contract to do job club. I had to go to the one in Hull back in 2009 amid this investigation into fraud, and all they seriously had us all do was breathtaking, we would sit in a room from 9-4 with 3 really shit computers and print off our CVs to send to addresses we had found in the yellow pages. I kid you not. A4e were simply getting money to watch people find addresses in the yellow fucking pages.
I went to uni in the meantime and absolutely hate this whole dole malarkey, it does nothing other than to waste your time and help whatever "outsourced provider" (read: absolute waste of government revenue) bag a quick buck for making sure people aren't working cash in hand down their local or whatever. I have had a previous interview back in November for a job that I was denied because I didn't have a certificate showing I know how to use SAGE, did the job centre help? Did they balls, they said because I had a degree, there was nothing they could do to help me get a basic little qualification to improve my "office readiness", so a half-decent job down the drain. Apparently the only thing they can do is teach the few older lads/drunks how to type and use the internet to fill out application forms.

>>5885

I don't know what spec Seetec's PCs are but they're incredibly slow and running XP SP3 with a grey taskbar.

>Last year, Seetec pulled in £21.2m in sales and profits of £2.112m. This enabled the company, which is 56 per cent owned by founder Peter Cooper, to pay total dividends of £990,608. Some ten per cent of the company’s shares are owned by an employee trust.

http://realbusiness.co.uk/article/4275-meet_britains_fastestgrowing_private_companies_1120

>>5885 Avanta is useless to. I had to pester them to get referred to some free training stuff. They also wasted tons of money for this company the course was provided by as they said they referred about 20 people. Only 5 or 6 people turned up... most of them phoned on the day to say they had to go on a course. They got their letters notifying them after the start.

Other than that it is sit about searching indeed.co.uk, Universal Jobmatch and so on in the offices every fortnight for an hour. And write down a list. Or they phone up about a job I can't do because it is an apprenticeship I don't qualify for or mess me about saying I've got an interview and ending up just going to Avanta a few times in a suit and the real interview never materialising.

>>5887

One time StandGuide phoned me at 5.45pm to tell me I had to attend a course at 10am the next morning. It's a good job I have the internet at home to find out the bus times. They'd actually informed most of the people it started at 9am so they had to sit there in awkward silence for an extra hour.

>>5887
My advisor nearly had a nosebleed when I told them I hadn't been on the UJM site since I started claiming in October. All that UJM does it just tell you to go to another website to make an application for something, so it just saves about 2 minutes of time if you've got a half decent connection at home, I won't even go into the quality of the computers we have to put up with, >>5886 is pretty much on it there. I think she was also annoyed that when I made my account, I ticked the box saying they can't snoop about.

>>5889
I make a point of avoiding answering the phone after about 4pm if it's not someone I know. I've been caught out by this in the past. Twice I've received a confirmed invite to interview after 4.30 on a Friday, wanting me on the Monday morning. Unfortunately, the JCP will only pay your interview expenses if you apply in advance - they have discretion to pay after the fact, but you need a really good excuse, and for some bizarre reason "the office was not physically open at any time in between" is somehow not good enough.

>>5890
I was told i'd be sanctioned unless I let them keep tabs.

>>5893

You don't legally have to give them access, however they can legally demand printouts of screenshots of certain parts of it.

>>5893
Yeah, that's bollocks. Get some proper advice, untick it, and record any and all meetings with them.

I went in for the stupid daily intensive thing today and it was useless, all the woman did was do my bus fares, ask me about work trials and experience, to which I knew I had to oblige to say "yes, thanks for that, I'll consider it" and "so if I apply for a job, I can tell them this?" - afterwards, she was going down the 5 day planner and kept asking me of the things on it:

"Are you alright for interview clothes?" - she might as well have asked me if I knew how to find the North Star, of course I do! I'm in possession of many a tasteful suit, blue, black ad grey.

"Do you know how to use the internet?" U wot lassm7? She basically said "I'll leave you to it, you're actually looking for work and know what you're doing, plus have a degree, so I won't need to see you Friday." (Yeah, so my head's screwed on and I know what I want in life?)

I am certain all this information was alreay gleaned from my every signing day and the repeated questions that cropped up during them. I guess the suit they'd let you buy be a nasty £30 George suit though.

>>5898
>I guess the suit they'd let you buy be a nasty £30 George suit though.

My cheap suit from george has done alright for me.
It's been to a wedding and a few job interviews. I'm not Hans Gruber or a Japanese business man so I'll stick with it for a while.

Cheap suits are ace. I remember being a bit mournful when I got my jacket, but having something machine-washable is just such a bonus. When I think of all of the time and money I would have wasted if I'd got something 'better'...

>>5898 here

I got offered an interview next Tuesday in Bradford. Wish me luck ladm8s.

>>5901

All the best, chapm8.

I walked past Salford Seetec half an hour ago and the shutter was down with a sign up saying "Office closed due to emergency". Dozens of people work in that place. Weird.

I'm all excited in case they found anthrax spores or someone went postal.

>>5902
Came a close 2nd out of 6 for the interview. The thing that swung it? The other cadidate didn't have to move house/flat and could begin immediately, seeing as though I'm a bumpkin outside Hull it seems extremely unfair to me to let me rot in this purgatory when I've been gradually urbanised. At least I can tell the job centre this half-decent news when they drag me in...again...for a stupid interview on Saturday. They really think I'm moonlighting!

>>5930
Prepare for a course on Interview techniques.

>>5936
Right on cue. Exactly what they're making me fucking do.

Being a graduate, living with parents and on the dole is a really horrible combination. I know they both mean well, but they keep telling me to apply for jobs that have absolutely nothing to do with what I am capable of doing at all. As they didn't go to uni, they aren't aware of the market for particular skills and sectors or what the type of work in a skill-based (French speaking, in this case) sector actually entails, nor have they researched it at all. My dad seems to think it's talking French 100% of the time when such work in the UK is closer to being about 25-75% of all work volume handled using it and is therefore impossible for me to do "a waste of time." Perhaps as he doesn't know anything about it, that's his issue with it.

It just seems that I am best left alone without any kind of interference (and it works, I get interviews, good feedback, occasional translations to do), but I really fear that the job centre will be total dickheads to me as I am approaching the 6 month barrier.

Sage for having a whinge about how shit it is.

>>6008
Before long they'll be pretty much forcing you to apply for 4 hours a week cleaning jobs.

>>6012
Signed on today, it was a simple matter of being signed through by some guy who looked like George Costanza. No exchanges of pleasantries or anything. This might not bode well.

>>6015

Are you on the Work Program now? I find signing with the Work Program Team is often like that. One guy doesn't even bother to look at the JobSearch, I guess they think Seetec or whoever will be leaning on you enough.

Oddly enough he's called Ming. When I saw his name on my appointment card I though that definitely boded badly but he didn't seem too merciless at all. (Might have been different if I'd made a moronic name joke in front of him.)

>>6018

(I can't decide if "boded" is correct.)

>>6018
Not him but I'm also on the programme. Pretty useless though cos in such a deprived town there are no jobs at all. They can help with courses though, might be useful if I finally save up to move to London. And saving from JSA is quite a challenge lol.

>>6023
Especially if the only social activities you can do at all involve spending £3 a pint in a pub.

>>6026
lol i can't afford even that.

(A good day to you Sir!)

Council tax (Poll tax) for unemployed?
I got only 25% reduction, are they serious? How I can pay anything getting only JSA? Seems like 700until april next year. Is anybody on here been through this?
Worth to appeal i guess. Single, 1 bedroom flat, band A.
Please share your experiences how to deal with this.

>>6336

Fuck off back to Romanistan.

>>6336
25% is the discount for occupation by a single eligible person (the same property can be occupied by exempt persons). Have you applied for Council Tax Benefit? If you're on income-based JSA, you should be eligible for at least something more than that.

>>6338
It is replaced by Coucil Tax Reduction since 2013 according to gov.uk site.
When you fill in housing application, that reduction application goes together with it.
Well, have to visit them on monday. It should be 100% reduction. Will appeal if neccessary.

>>6338
And yes, income based.

>>6340
>It should be 100% reduction.
Much closer to 100% than 25% certainly, but you'll likely need more adverse circumstances than simply being on JSA to have the whole bill waived. The thing with Council Tax Support is that individual councils set their own rates of relief. I'm on JSA and receive an 81% reduction. I know some councils are more generous and probably some are less so.

>>6342
Thanks for responses, anonymous.
Yeah.. well, probably appeal might be the solution. In the beginning I thought that band A mean something that blocks the 100% reduction.

>>6336

You shouldn't be paying that much. Go to your local council website and use the benefit calculator, don't worry it doesn't want any personal details except your postcode. It will tell you what you're entitled to regarding council tax, that 25% is a generic discount for being single (I think) but you should get Council Tax Support/Reduction (which is a crapshoot depending entirely on how your council has decided to apply it) which has replaced the national Council Tax Benefit.

I just did a test on my own local council website using the details you provided and Council Tax comes out to about £2 a week.

The best advice anyone can give you though is to visit a local benefits advice centre or CAB and discuss the situation with them.

>>6344
>Go to your local council website and use the benefit calculator
Ha ha ha. You have a lot more faith in local councils and their IT teams than mine leads me to believe is sensible.

>>6345

They have a duty to make it work. If they don't, complain.

Just a quick thought - are you getting housing benefit? You must be if you still have a roof over your head. Council Tax S/R is calculated on the same claim form, so someone has cocked up there.

>>6346
I'm the guy who raised the question

Yes, housing benft all ok, just today I have received their award letter plus that shit about council tax.
Yeah, from all it's said here, somebody at the council is taking me for a fool to pay that much. I'll go to calculator as well tomorrow, so I can support my appeal (verbal first).
pic isnt good

>>6346
>They have a duty to make it work.
Says who, and where? (I'm probably not going to complain, but I would be better positioned to do so if I knew this.) My council doesn't have a benefits calculator, much less a working one.

>>6348
Just toddle down to your local town hall and look polite and bewildered. Tell them what you want, and reception will have you in front of someone surprisingly human within about 20 mins. Tell them your story and they will help you.

>>6359
>town hall
No no, this is the place where councillors go to debate bullshit. Benefitslad wants something along the lines of a 'Contact Centre'; the website of his council will tell him where he needs to go.

>>6346
Anon reporting:
That was actually ok, in the end i got 100% reduction. It's just the way the letter was written, very very confusing.

Now I'm fighting with the work programme coercions and intimidations. They make me insane with those irrelevant to my job courses.. Try to argue-sanctions will follow. I believe intimidation is not the right tool to help people get back to work but individual plan, otherwise it's just putting everyone in one basket. I'm actually going to see psychiatrist soon.


Anyone on Work Programme?

>>6446

They're not there to help you. They're there to waste your time to make sure you're not working on the sly, harass the living hell out of you to make signing on a very unappealing option, take credit for the job you get yourself, then collect a huge bonus of £16,000 or something.

>>6457
>Take credit for the job
lol, they won't get anything with bullying tactics. The most annoying is that they decided to monopolize all my time.
When I do find a job I just shut down the claim first at JCPlus

>>6458

I think they're pretty "keen" chasing people down to declare they're in work after they do that.

http://unemploymentmovement.com/forum/welfare-to-work/5171-being-harassed-by-seetec

>>6459
Thanx for the link, interesting.

>>4452

Is it Vivaldi? I call it the Job Centre song.

Sage for replying to a year old post.

>>4464

I had a test where there was a picture of a man, men, chops and chips, then four boxes with those words spelt out and I had to draw lines indicating which picture corresponded with which word.

>>6463
It's alright, I'm still here.

Yes it is Vivaldi.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbpAFzyrx5o

Ok, guys, I know there are professional anarchists on here who know how.

WP, it's going to be madness, i sense it and my mental health is deteriorating because of stress, intimidation and coercions.
What is that with that ESA? Is being mentally erratic and almost suicidal sufficient to claim? Anyone has a link to more info? What do I tell GP? What kind of letter I need to ask from GP to give it to WP provider? I am going insane, and not only because of that WP..
At the same time I am ok to visit JCP for signing as usual, so it's more between me and WP. JCP are actually alright, depending on the advisor.





























Thanks lads

>>6466

Seetec said a letter from your doctor saying why you can't do it because of health reasons is acceptable.

The first fortnight of Seetec I had to go in every day at 2pm and stay a few hours. There was this "tutor" who would talk to us about all kinds of digressive random stuff and he was very entertaining but it had no function at all. They're only there to waste your time.

The next month after that I had to go in every Wednesday morning for a "job search" AKA go and pretend to use one of their shitty XP computers because I've already done my real jobsearch at home.

Thereafter, it's the same thing but every second Wednesday.

You've got to bear in mind Seetec and the Job Centre are dying to give you a sanction so I definitely wouldn't trust them to phone in sick. Only don't go if you can't walk.

I'd give the Work Program a whirl before trying to get out of it. They only want to be paid for wasting your time.

I can't even claim benefits without being treated like cancer, after paying my taxes for all those years. Seems unfair. I didn't even claim it because I feared the harassment I would face. I lived off my savings and personal loans from friends and family members until I got something. I don't want to pay for things I won't be allowed to use. I hate this country.

>>6466
I am a "professional anarchist" on ESA, first of all you will not get any extra money on ESA any time soon. I have been getting £57.45 a week for a year now without going to an Atos appointment. In theory this goes up after passing the Atos appointment, but that is no help if you don't get one.

You wont get bothered by the JCP on ESA, I get a letter asking for a doctors note every time the last note expires. For me that is once every three months, this is down to your GP though.

Things like being treated by a specialist will help your case. I recommend starting whatever treatment you can before trying to sign on ESA. Ultimately the JCP wants a note from your doctor, who in my case wanted a note from my specialist.

Whenever your doctor, JCP or whatever ask you how you are, say "On a bad day I..." (or similar) so for example if on a bad day you can not get out of bed then that is what matters so tell them.

If going back to work will make your condition worse you should say so, this is important.
There are some good resources to help on disability groups websites, but I recommend looking at ones specific to your illness.
Note: My advice is from signing on a year ago, it may have changed.

>>6467
Thank you for sharing..
I just saw some already doing that at my WP so I guess my punishment is coming.

>>6469
Thank you for the info.
You see, the most annoying thing with WP is that I can't plan anything at all ahead, so if I decide to visit my friends in another town next month and suddenly WP announces the new course, something like that...
And feeling isolated in my small town doesn't help my mental health either.
But yes, it's time to visit the doaktir and start the process. I do feel that the critical mass will be reached pretty soon and who knows how it will manifest itself lol

>>6469
I'd argue you are better off not going for an Assessment.

75% of the time, they'll listen to everything you have to say, acknowlege you have problems, then declare you fit for work anyway.

>>6472

True. You have to research it diligently and the descriptors are things like if you can pick up a phone and take a message then you can work.

>>6469
>I have been getting £57.45 a week for a year now without going to an Atos appointment. In theory this goes up after passing the Atos appointment, but that is no help if you don't get one.
Send a complaint in to Atos by email. The assessment phase is only supposed to last for 13 weeks. When you have your medical if you pass (I hate the way people describe being declared unfit to work as passing a medical) you will be awarded the man phase of £73 a week in addition to the relevant component (e.g. work related @ £30 or support @ £36). They will then take no further action. At this point you need to complain further and inform them that you have a right to backdated pay at the main phase rate in addition to your relevant component from 13 weeks after your award date. If you've been on ESA for a year then that will be about £600 for the main phase which is in addition to either £1170 or £1400 depending on where you are placed. I'm basing these figures on rough guesses (+/- £1) as my book is out of date by a few months. I'm also basing it on a backdating period of 39 weeks.

I should also add that if you get placed in the support group you should also automatically receive the enhanced disability premium which would be £16 x 39 = £630.

What I'm saying is, sort it out. You should also be aware that if you've ever missed a medical, appointment or failed to provide them with evidence etc in the time limits they have applied they will refuse to backdate your claim to the end of the assessment period, and they have every right to do so.

>>6472
This is also true. However, you can be passed on scrutiny which means that you don't ever need a medical as they award it on your form. To get passed on scrutiny you need to fill in your ESA50 with a lot of rigidity to answering the descriptors without making it look like you're answering the descriptors. The same is true of the assessment however, so if anyone here does have to go for a medical you should read the following descriptors and try to answer the questions that are relevant to you in such a way that there is no ambiguity in your answer, but it doesn't look like you've actually read the descriptors.

http://www.legislation.gov.uk/uksi/2013/379/schedule/2/made

One more caveat, if you meet any of the following descriptors (they look the same as the ones above but they're not) then you can instantly be placed in the support group with no further questions.

http://www.benefitsandwork.co.uk/employment-and-support-allowance/esa-glossary/1353-support-group-descriptors

ESA is the biggest clusterfuck of a benefit anyone has ever seen. Nobody knows how it works.

>>6472
One of the jokes that went around last year was that Atos paid tribute to Thatcher by declaring her fit for work post mortem.

>>6474
>with a lot of rigidity to answering the descriptors
This phrasing irks me enough for me to comment on it, but not enough for me to delete the post and redo it.

Also if you get asked (and you will) "since you put your claim in has your condition got better or worse?" your instinct will be to reply "worse" and tell them why. They will then knock you off ESA and tell you to reapply with the new details because your condition is different. If you answer "better" they will say you no longer require ESA. Tell them it hasn't changed despite your best efforts.

And if you're going for a physical disability, when they say "what actions are you unable to perform?" do not fucking raise your arm above your shoulder and say "I can't raise my arm above my shoulder like this!" You would not believe how many people do this.

>>6478
>do not fucking raise your arm above your shoulder and say "I can't raise my arm above my shoulder like this!"
Christ on a bike.

I had to attend a wide ranging interview today because someone had supposedly alleged they'd spotted me at the cinema with my girlfriend and child. I completely understand that living with a partner and child represents a change of circumstances, but I'm not so sure about going to the cinema. Either way, I have neither a child nor a girlfriend. Someone's playing silly buggers.