Are, let me have me coffee first. You reckon the polling station is busy first thing? Should I leave it an hour so there's not a big queue of pensioners? Maybe go around lunch time? It's only a five minute walk away but fuck if I'm queuing up.

Survation have the Conservatives potentially losing over 80 percent of their current seats.

It's going to be Keirmageddon.





I'll see myself out.

>>99372
Are Survation the ones who tend to be the most accurate?

>>99373

Not sure. But they got quoted by the DM today, so what they are saying must be true.

Final YouGov MRP.

>>99372
And absolutely nothing will change!

>>99377
Quiet, Tory. By this time tomorrow it will be legal to hunt your kind with spears and black powder firearms.

>>99371
I've only been voting since 2015, but I don't recall ever encountering a busy polling station. Although they have moved my nearest one from the school (two minutes away) to the sports centre (five minutes away), the absolute villains.

>>99376

I wonder what Sunak thinks privately of all these polls and projections. He must well and truly know at this point what he and the Tories are in for, come tonight.

>>99379
He's so insulated from real life it wouldn't surprise me if he doesn't really care. It's not like it actually matters to him.

>>99379
I think it's a difficult position for them to be in, because the only way they're winning is if the polls are more wrong than they pretty much ever have been. But if they say "well we're fucked" it's defeatism and makes them look weak. Work & Pensions Secretary Mel Stride went on the radio yesterday effectively saying the only thing they can do at this point is stop a Labour supermajority, which drew ire from Suella Braverman (who that morning published an article about how the Tories had already lost so not sure why she was such a cunt about what Stride said).

As above lad said, Sunak is thought to be considering moving to the US - his daughters apparently start school over there very soon. He probably would rather lose so he can fuck off and leave the UK behind.

>>99379
I'm sure his vast fortune and knowledge that he probably stopped (with Hunt) the complete meltdown of the economy has him sleeping soundly. He was never going to win anyway.

Despite the campaign from the likes of Vorders we'll probably still have the Tories in opposition tomorrow and Labour will immediately start imploding and engaging in its own brand of cronyism until we vote them in again. The circle of life.

Sunak was early today.


>>99382

I guess the problem isn't Sunak's next career move. He'll have a new job in no time. Probably one that also pays better than being PM. But he'll suffer the wrath of many Tory MPs who will lose their seat. They won't starve either thanks to resettlement grants and pensions and other paths that are open to them as former MPs. But they will be forced to stop doing what they've been doing for five, ten or even more years. Most of them through no real fault of their own.

>>99383

>Sunak was early today.

Got a plane to catch hasn't he.

>>99381
>Labour supermajority
They’re really running with that word, considering it doesn’t mean anything under the system we have.

>>99386

> considering it doesn’t mean anything under the system we have

Exactly. A majority is a majority, however large or scant. Bigger majorities make it easier to pass contentious bills that have doubters in your own ranks. But fundamentally there is no decisive difference between a majority by two seats and one by 50 seats.

I think supermajorities as a concept with implications actually exist in the U.S. House of Representatives, but have historically not been significant.

>>99386
>>99387
I think they're using it because it sounds scary/impressive if you don't know that it's meaningless here.

>>99387

>Bigger majorities make it easier to pass contentious bills that have doubters in your own ranks.

Well, that's basically the point isn't it, the larger the majority the more effective power the party has in governing. Stronger mandate. Get Whatever It Is Done. Change Means Change.

Anyway just went and voted, my constituency has changed from Batley and Spen to just Spen Valley, which includes most of the more rural-ish bits and no longer includes Batley. So I'm actually not sure if it's such a Labour safe seat any more without... Yknow. All the browns. It is still mostly a shithole though so I can't imagine there's much Tory support.

>>99387
They exist in America because the President can veto things that get voted for, unless it has so many votes that they can vote to overrule the veto. But we don’t do that here.

>>99389
I'm in Ossett and Denby Dale. I know a couple of people who would have voted Green if we were still part of Wakefield, but they're voting Labour as they're convinced the rural parts mean the Tories will win.

I'll be voting Lib Dem regardless.

My constituency was Nottingham North, which has lots of poor people and minorities. But now it's Nottingham North & Kimberley, Kimberley formerly being part of Broxtowe which has been Tory since 2010. So poor people and minorities tend to not vote Tory, but people in Kimberley might boost the Tories' chances.

The Tory candidate is our former PCC who within a month or two of starting as PCC she got banned from driving for multiple speeding offences. Still continued to fight crime though I guess. BBW MILF sort of woman.

It occurs to me they moved the polling station from a school because the school is currently in use, as a school.

>>99370
I'm hoping nobody does. A DPRK tier majority on a 2005 tier turnout is the funniest outcome to this stage managed farce.

>>99393
My parents are postal voting this year because their polling station is now about a 15 minute walk away. The old polling station was about 50 metres away.

Voted Plaid Werdd as Plaid Crymru are a shoe-in here.

There's a chance that Jeremy Corbyn and Diane Abbott are about to end up as mother and father of the house. Surprised the Tories didn't run with that at the last hour.

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/ng-interactive/2024/jul/04/did-that-really-happen-14-years-of-chaotic-tory-government

Good summary by the Guardian.

You do wonder why he called the election six months early. Maybe he's got a job offer he doesn't want to pass up.

I don't think he's altruistic enough to believe that an election now will spare the Tories even bigger losses six months down the line.

This is the first election I will ever be voting in, and I will be voting for Reform like the rest of my fellow zoomers.

I think I gave the impression that I'm a solid Tory to someone I work with today which I suspect confirms what a lot of people think about me. He's very obviously Labour in background.

The reason I bring it up is it makes me think sometimes that for all the generalities I don't think you can tell how most people actually vote unless they tell you. All the parties are a mixed bag of positions people do and don't agree with. It's probably even harder these days now that party memberships and newspapers subs are so low and Labour have worked so hard to win over the city while the Tories have worked to appeal to the anti-immigrant vote in the North.

Also I took my housemate to vote for her first time despite being in her mid-30s today. It was an unusual experiance of explaining to her step-by-step what to do and then once I waited outside she walked out after me with her ballot paper in hand asking if I had a pen and what to do so I had to lead her back and show her the booth before we both got arrested.

>>99398
Delaying the election beyond August would've created absolute chaos for the public sector given budgets will run out in January. I find it odd that so many experts completely ignore this factor, if Rishi decided to call an election in December then we'd have some kind of US-style shutdown which is unknown territory for the UK.

>>99398

>Maybe he's got a job offer he doesn't want to pass up.

That's partially it, we've been saying it for months and we're not just being facetious. He's sick of it and he's obviously got a better gig lined up.

But aside from that, does Sunak really strike you as the kind of prime minister who has actually been allowed to make any of his own decisions whatsoever? It was basically "look you've had your fun, you need to call an election before the party polls any lower."

>>99398
He had to be careful with the timing. His election announcement was the end of May, which would be the second time in a decade.

>>99402

>>99401

>That's partially it, we've been saying it for months and we're not just being facetious. He's sick of it and he's obviously got a better gig lined up.


He'll probably be going to one of the big names in investment wbanking in the U.S.. Maybe somebody like Merrill Lynch or Goldman Sachs will make him a board member. That's always been where his heart was. I don't see him staying in politics.

>>99400
My boss has lived his whole life in whichever grim constituency of Brexit-upon-Flag he lives in, and he confided yesterday that he is torn between Reform and the Green Party.

We're pulling an all nighter right ladm⁸s?

A proper traditional .gs affair.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTJmJLnhBzM_iTby

A half remembered dream.

>>99408
What time do they announce the exit polling?

>>99410

When the polls close at 10pm.

I don't normally vote but decided to go today. Heard the LibDems are the tactical choice where I'm at and they sound like a better option than "not the tories" or "racist tories", so I'm quite happy to give them my vote.

>>99408
I am, but my sleeping pattern has been fucked by the last week anyway. Indeed, I'll probably be just waking up as the exit polls come through.

>>99409
>An error occurred. Please try again later. (Playback ID: Flrerafj_fa0Z-kU) Learn More
You've half-remembered something, alright.

I wish I couldve voted Lib Dem.
I think we desperately need to ditch first past the post.
Unfortunately because we haven't yet, I must vote tactically. Not that I'm particularly anti-labour, but its quite the paradox.
How do we get out of this mess?

It may be wishful thinking but I hope Labour winning by virtue of not being the Tory party rather than huge support for their policies it may incentivise them towards bringing in voting reform.
That or Lib Dems win enough seats to effectively lobby for voting reform. just don't give us another fucking referendum please.
dunno im just making this all up to be honest. I only voted cause I found myself vehemently disagreeing with basically everything on the local incumbent Tory MP's leaflets. Both the one targeting me and the one targeting the old woman that used to live here.

>>99414
>How do we get out of this mess?
A lot of things have happened since the last election to bring us closer to the dream. We had a pandemic which kept everyone at home, reading online about political corruption, so more people know what a terrible system it is now. It also used to just be lefty students who cared about their beloved Liberal Democrats and Green Party getting a poor deal, but now the electoral-reform movement also has Savile and UKIP and the Brexit Party and Reform UK all moving in from the other side, bringing their 20% of the vote (and no seats) in a democratic pincer movement against the red-and-blue perpetual grift machine. I am filled with hope that we might be able to reform things after all.

>>99413
Tried again buy playback on other sites disabled, so here's the link.
I'm amazed somebody actually archived it tbh.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpofPhpAzW0&ab_channel=MITOGEN2

Are we ever going to have some decent fucking weather?

>>99418
REFORM WILL BRING BACK ARE SUNSHINE!

>>99418

No, because they are manipulating the weather to control us.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/ckmmkdr0m2po

So are you three ready for Starmergeddon?

STARMTROOPERS ASSEMBLE!!!

>>99421
The Apockeirlypse.

Went to vote but I wasn't on the list apparently, despite having my polling card through and being in the right place, (someone from my flat block had just voted infront of me). They said if I go home and get my card and come back they can sort it, but I couldn't be arsed. They're all wankers anyway.

Went to a petrol station tonight and there was an OAP in front of me in the queue inside who spent about a minute or two ranting to the lad behind the counter how sick he was of the Conservatives because "everything costs a bloody arm and a leg nowadays".

Just got in from Tescos with Tunnock's tea cakes, Doritos, Time Out wafers and a 4 pack of Corona. I'll be here all night to witness the onslaught. Any of you lads staying up?

Wish I'd have bought some coke and some fags too actually but I guess amphetamine and a vape will do.

>>99428
Broken my calorie counting for a day, beer and nibbles are a tradition for these things.

>>99428

I can sleep in tomorrow till about 10:30 am, so I'll have plenty of time tonight to witness the full extent of the Tories' demise.

This is awkward. Traditionally we have a new thread when the results come in, but this one is less than a day old and has about 50 replies. But then if I make the post in here my beautiful graphic goes to waste.

Calling it:
Labour on 450+
Cons on 90+
boring, boring.

The BBC coverage is all very The Day Today at the moment.

LAB 410 (MAJ 170)
CON 131
LIB 61
REF 13
SNP 10
PC 4
GRN 2

Follow the culling easily with audible notifications:
https://matteason.co.uk/scream/

>>99434
The biggest surprise here is Reform.

>>99434
Less Labour seats than 1997 is bleakly amusing. Kind of boring for everyone except Reform, given the hype through the campaign.

>>99431

It's alright mate, once Labour get in we won't be restrained by Tory austerity any more and we can start as many new threads as we like.

Worst exit poll result on record for the Conservatives.

They are getting what they deserve.

So, who will declare first?
The first bit of excitement is over.

>>99427

>how sick he was of the Conservatives because "everything costs a bloody arm and a leg nowadays"

Yes, that's rather what it boils down to. You say this like it's something to roll your eyes incredulously over. The tories absolutely shagged the economy, and that's why they are getting their arses handed to them. It's pretty much that simple.

Are you the same lad who has been posting about how hard of a decision it has been to not vote Tory for the first time in your life? How detached from reality are you, can I ask?

soz if I'm reading too much into too little, I have had a few already

>>99440

I didn't mean it like that. Just sharing with you three here something that I witnessed today and which was probably indicative of the wider mood among voters.


>Are you the same lad who has been posting about how hard of a decision it has been to not vote Tory for the first time in your life? How detached from reality are you, can I ask?

I'm the lad who has voted Conservative all his life, yes. I have to say I sympathise with that old guy, because you can't possibly ignore the fact that everything is fucking expensive and that the Tories carry the bulk of the responsibility for it.

I actually ended up not voting today. I don't like any of the other parties enough to vote for them, but I sure as tits wasn't going to give Sunak my vote. They were going to get arse raped with or without my one single vote. And if my not voting today played a tiny little part in Sunak's undoing, then I don't regret it at all.

Fuck, Angela Rayner is dull.

I'm not realising that just now, but she's winning no points in the interview on Channel 4 at the moment.

I hope all you Labour voters enjoy getting fucked every which way by a throbbing red dick instead of a cold blue one.

I had a bit of a nap and missed the big bang of the exit poll being announced. I'm livid. Did they play the Rick Wakeman theme tune that was posted in the other thread? Also, 131 seats staying Conservative really isn't that bad compared to the doomsaying we've been seeing. If they were predicted to get anywhere between 55 and 155 seats, 131 is nowhere near the incineration we could have had. How disappointing, purely from a banter perspective.

>>99441
I meant to ask you how you felt about Rishi. I like him more than at least some of the other Conservative prime ministers we've had. Is there something in particular that makes him worse than, say, Theresa May or David Cameron?

Channel 4 has Nadine Dorries as a guest. Jesus Christ. Will I get banned for posting skull emojis?

Every time the BBC show the Lib Dem vote forecast I laugh. Stewart Lee lookalike Ed Davey, up 1% in the south, down 1% in London. +50 seats. It gets funnier each time. Soon it'll get annoying. Then absurd. Then funny again. Then hilarious.

I'm feeling really weird and anxious, like all of this might be a dream and I'll wake up and the Tories have won.

Do we want Are Nige to become an MP or not?

>>99448
I think 13 Reform seats, and none of them won by him, is utterly unbeatable as a hilarious outcome. The charts on TV show the exit poll predicting the results for individual seats, but I can't find that online so I guess I'll just have to keep scrutinising the background when Jeremy Vine walks around to see who won Clacton.

>>99448
No, it'll be funny as fuck if he gets beaten again.
Lee Anderson can fuck off too.

The first seat has been announced, in Houghton and Sunderland South. It is the ghastly Bridget Phillipson. Good news for Labour, but hopefully she will disappear and stop being wheeled out every time Labour need a Northern accent.

>>99444

>Is there something in particular that makes him worse than, say, Theresa May or David Cameron?

I don't like where he came from and what he stood for. Guys like that, investment bankers or other members of the economic and financial elite, don't make good politicians for the people. His tenure as PM was always just going to be a career step for him. And he's probably going to get a golden parachute handed to him by Goldman Sachs or others.

David Cameron at least in his early days showed a lot of promise. He was believable. Whether or not he ended up delivering on that promise, well... I can see why people would think that he didn't. In any case, the real shit show started after Brexit.

Turnout in Sunderland and Blyth both pretty poor so far (51% and 53%, both bad compared to prior results in their areas.)

What's with the Black Tower of Orthanc on the Vine-o-mapper?

>>99449
Looks like he's in.

IS TONTY BLAIR BEHIND THIS?

>>99441

Alright, apologies if I came off sounding aggressive there. Weird how my intuition was so accurate though.

I think you just stick out to me because honestly, coming from my background, I don't think I've ever met anyone who could describe themselves/their family as a lifelong Tory. I can't fathom it unless you're a full on aristocrat. Is your family wealthy? What do you do?

If you don't mind my asking anyhow.

Well aware this isn't an important part of tonight, but I feel like I can start giving a shit about politics again. For ten years I feel like I've been having the same opinions, because the problems have been the same, and it was beginning to drive me insane. I know some of you are thinking "why didn't you do something about it?", but I'm lazy and I live in the sticks. Also the problems of yesterday aren't magically changing into new problems tomorrow, but fuck me, something is different. The groundhog day of Tory laissez-faire conservatism is over, roll on the groundhog day of Labour neo-liberalism!

If this is bollocks to read I'm sorry, I'm very ill and tired.

>>99455
The campaign was basically 1997 2.0, so kind of.

You can check the exit poll by constituency on the Sky News website:
https://news.sky.com/story/exit-poll-what-is-the-forecast-election-result-in-my-constituency-13163180

It's ogre for hilarity.

Congratulations, Mr Mandelson!

>>99458
25% of a Labour gain, despite no "official" campaigning around here. Something else for me to tattoo onto my back and be forever pissed off about. All the surrounding constituencies were tap-ins, idiots.

Really feeling extremely weird now. My hands are tingling and Laura K is giving me a bonk-on. Think I might have a Zopiclone and phone the CMHT in the morning.

Is Jezza going to win and stick two fingers up to Keir?

It's been two hours and so far, Labour have won 100% of the seats that have declared. They've won 4 out of 4 out of 650.

Nice to see Heidi Alexander back. Shame that she's lost some weight.

>>99448
The problem with Clacton is that Labour ended up running a bad candidate and they even sent him off to campaign in the West Midlands. I think they'll regret this when they have Savile standing up in Commons.

>>99458
Otherlad better have voted LibDem like he promised when we swapped.

>>99464
She's no Heidi "Hottie" Allen.

I might be about to write Ash Sarkar a handwritten marriage proposal.

>>99466

Allen is just Caitlin Moran for skinnychasers.

>>99463
If they keep up this pattern, Labour will win 631 seats for s majority of 620.

Yvonne Ridley there, who appears to have moved on from her usual pro-Taliban platform to have a go at the transes.

Nice to see it's gone midnight and we're all getting a bit randy. Why don't we all pop a cialis together to celebrate?

So Corbyn got mullered on 32% of the vote share, but Starmer gets 36%(-ish) and is Restitutor Orbis, chosen of Sol Invictus. I'm not complaining exactly, but every election now it feels as if FPtP gets more and more absurd.

>>99471
As you can see almost everyone has fallen asleep, because almost everyone here is middle-aged now. No circle wank for us tonight.

Congratulations to Mark Francois, who definitely isn't a rapist, on being the first Tory to be returned.

Rachel Reeves really is a dire speaker, even by the low, low standards of the PLP.

>>99472

FPtP has always been daft, but nobody gave a shit when it was just the Liberals and the SDP getting shafted by it.

The Reform surge has probably scuppered electoral reform for another decade at least.

Nuke Ashfield!

>>99475
That surge by the way, is fucking bleak. Labour's complete unwillingness to campaign in a meaningful way against them is a disgrace.

So where are we at, how many results are in so far? I've been off playing videogames drunk until it gets a bit more interesting. Although I suppose it's pretty obvious which way it's going.