Are, let me have me coffee first. You reckon the polling station is busy first thing? Should I leave it an hour so there's not a big queue of pensioners? Maybe go around lunch time? It's only a five minute walk away but fuck if I'm queuing up.

Survation have the Conservatives potentially losing over 80 percent of their current seats.

It's going to be Keirmageddon.





I'll see myself out.

>>99372
Are Survation the ones who tend to be the most accurate?

>>99373

Not sure. But they got quoted by the DM today, so what they are saying must be true.

Final YouGov MRP.

>>99372
And absolutely nothing will change!

>>99377
Quiet, Tory. By this time tomorrow it will be legal to hunt your kind with spears and black powder firearms.

>>99371
I've only been voting since 2015, but I don't recall ever encountering a busy polling station. Although they have moved my nearest one from the school (two minutes away) to the sports centre (five minutes away), the absolute villains.

>>99376

I wonder what Sunak thinks privately of all these polls and projections. He must well and truly know at this point what he and the Tories are in for, come tonight.

>>99379
He's so insulated from real life it wouldn't surprise me if he doesn't really care. It's not like it actually matters to him.

>>99379
I think it's a difficult position for them to be in, because the only way they're winning is if the polls are more wrong than they pretty much ever have been. But if they say "well we're fucked" it's defeatism and makes them look weak. Work & Pensions Secretary Mel Stride went on the radio yesterday effectively saying the only thing they can do at this point is stop a Labour supermajority, which drew ire from Suella Braverman (who that morning published an article about how the Tories had already lost so not sure why she was such a cunt about what Stride said).

As above lad said, Sunak is thought to be considering moving to the US - his daughters apparently start school over there very soon. He probably would rather lose so he can fuck off and leave the UK behind.

>>99379
I'm sure his vast fortune and knowledge that he probably stopped (with Hunt) the complete meltdown of the economy has him sleeping soundly. He was never going to win anyway.

Despite the campaign from the likes of Vorders we'll probably still have the Tories in opposition tomorrow and Labour will immediately start imploding and engaging in its own brand of cronyism until we vote them in again. The circle of life.

Sunak was early today.


>>99382

I guess the problem isn't Sunak's next career move. He'll have a new job in no time. Probably one that also pays better than being PM. But he'll suffer the wrath of many Tory MPs who will lose their seat. They won't starve either thanks to resettlement grants and pensions and other paths that are open to them as former MPs. But they will be forced to stop doing what they've been doing for five, ten or even more years. Most of them through no real fault of their own.

>>99383

>Sunak was early today.

Got a plane to catch hasn't he.

>>99381
>Labour supermajority
They’re really running with that word, considering it doesn’t mean anything under the system we have.

>>99386

> considering it doesn’t mean anything under the system we have

Exactly. A majority is a majority, however large or scant. Bigger majorities make it easier to pass contentious bills that have doubters in your own ranks. But fundamentally there is no decisive difference between a majority by two seats and one by 50 seats.

I think supermajorities as a concept with implications actually exist in the U.S. House of Representatives, but have historically not been significant.

>>99386
>>99387
I think they're using it because it sounds scary/impressive if you don't know that it's meaningless here.

>>99387

>Bigger majorities make it easier to pass contentious bills that have doubters in your own ranks.

Well, that's basically the point isn't it, the larger the majority the more effective power the party has in governing. Stronger mandate. Get Whatever It Is Done. Change Means Change.

Anyway just went and voted, my constituency has changed from Batley and Spen to just Spen Valley, which includes most of the more rural-ish bits and no longer includes Batley. So I'm actually not sure if it's such a Labour safe seat any more without... Yknow. All the browns. It is still mostly a shithole though so I can't imagine there's much Tory support.

>>99387
They exist in America because the President can veto things that get voted for, unless it has so many votes that they can vote to overrule the veto. But we don’t do that here.

>>99389
I'm in Ossett and Denby Dale. I know a couple of people who would have voted Green if we were still part of Wakefield, but they're voting Labour as they're convinced the rural parts mean the Tories will win.

I'll be voting Lib Dem regardless.

My constituency was Nottingham North, which has lots of poor people and minorities. But now it's Nottingham North & Kimberley, Kimberley formerly being part of Broxtowe which has been Tory since 2010. So poor people and minorities tend to not vote Tory, but people in Kimberley might boost the Tories' chances.

The Tory candidate is our former PCC who within a month or two of starting as PCC she got banned from driving for multiple speeding offences. Still continued to fight crime though I guess. BBW MILF sort of woman.

It occurs to me they moved the polling station from a school because the school is currently in use, as a school.

>>99370
I'm hoping nobody does. A DPRK tier majority on a 2005 tier turnout is the funniest outcome to this stage managed farce.

>>99393
My parents are postal voting this year because their polling station is now about a 15 minute walk away. The old polling station was about 50 metres away.

Voted Plaid Werdd as Plaid Crymru are a shoe-in here.

There's a chance that Jeremy Corbyn and Diane Abbott are about to end up as mother and father of the house. Surprised the Tories didn't run with that at the last hour.

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/ng-interactive/2024/jul/04/did-that-really-happen-14-years-of-chaotic-tory-government

Good summary by the Guardian.

You do wonder why he called the election six months early. Maybe he's got a job offer he doesn't want to pass up.

I don't think he's altruistic enough to believe that an election now will spare the Tories even bigger losses six months down the line.

This is the first election I will ever be voting in, and I will be voting for Reform like the rest of my fellow zoomers.

I think I gave the impression that I'm a solid Tory to someone I work with today which I suspect confirms what a lot of people think about me. He's very obviously Labour in background.

The reason I bring it up is it makes me think sometimes that for all the generalities I don't think you can tell how most people actually vote unless they tell you. All the parties are a mixed bag of positions people do and don't agree with. It's probably even harder these days now that party memberships and newspapers subs are so low and Labour have worked so hard to win over the city while the Tories have worked to appeal to the anti-immigrant vote in the North.

Also I took my housemate to vote for her first time despite being in her mid-30s today. It was an unusual experiance of explaining to her step-by-step what to do and then once I waited outside she walked out after me with her ballot paper in hand asking if I had a pen and what to do so I had to lead her back and show her the booth before we both got arrested.

>>99398
Delaying the election beyond August would've created absolute chaos for the public sector given budgets will run out in January. I find it odd that so many experts completely ignore this factor, if Rishi decided to call an election in December then we'd have some kind of US-style shutdown which is unknown territory for the UK.

>>99398

>Maybe he's got a job offer he doesn't want to pass up.

That's partially it, we've been saying it for months and we're not just being facetious. He's sick of it and he's obviously got a better gig lined up.

But aside from that, does Sunak really strike you as the kind of prime minister who has actually been allowed to make any of his own decisions whatsoever? It was basically "look you've had your fun, you need to call an election before the party polls any lower."

>>99398
He had to be careful with the timing. His election announcement was the end of May, which would be the second time in a decade.

>>99402

>>99401

>That's partially it, we've been saying it for months and we're not just being facetious. He's sick of it and he's obviously got a better gig lined up.


He'll probably be going to one of the big names in investment wbanking in the U.S.. Maybe somebody like Merrill Lynch or Goldman Sachs will make him a board member. That's always been where his heart was. I don't see him staying in politics.

>>99400
My boss has lived his whole life in whichever grim constituency of Brexit-upon-Flag he lives in, and he confided yesterday that he is torn between Reform and the Green Party.

We're pulling an all nighter right ladm⁸s?

A proper traditional .gs affair.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTJmJLnhBzM_iTby

A half remembered dream.

>>99408
What time do they announce the exit polling?

>>99410

When the polls close at 10pm.

I don't normally vote but decided to go today. Heard the LibDems are the tactical choice where I'm at and they sound like a better option than "not the tories" or "racist tories", so I'm quite happy to give them my vote.

>>99408
I am, but my sleeping pattern has been fucked by the last week anyway. Indeed, I'll probably be just waking up as the exit polls come through.

>>99409
>An error occurred. Please try again later. (Playback ID: Flrerafj_fa0Z-kU) Learn More
You've half-remembered something, alright.

I wish I couldve voted Lib Dem.
I think we desperately need to ditch first past the post.
Unfortunately because we haven't yet, I must vote tactically. Not that I'm particularly anti-labour, but its quite the paradox.
How do we get out of this mess?

It may be wishful thinking but I hope Labour winning by virtue of not being the Tory party rather than huge support for their policies it may incentivise them towards bringing in voting reform.
That or Lib Dems win enough seats to effectively lobby for voting reform. just don't give us another fucking referendum please.
dunno im just making this all up to be honest. I only voted cause I found myself vehemently disagreeing with basically everything on the local incumbent Tory MP's leaflets. Both the one targeting me and the one targeting the old woman that used to live here.

>>99414
>How do we get out of this mess?
A lot of things have happened since the last election to bring us closer to the dream. We had a pandemic which kept everyone at home, reading online about political corruption, so more people know what a terrible system it is now. It also used to just be lefty students who cared about their beloved Liberal Democrats and Green Party getting a poor deal, but now the electoral-reform movement also has Savile and UKIP and the Brexit Party and Reform UK all moving in from the other side, bringing their 20% of the vote (and no seats) in a democratic pincer movement against the red-and-blue perpetual grift machine. I am filled with hope that we might be able to reform things after all.

>>99413
Tried again buy playback on other sites disabled, so here's the link.
I'm amazed somebody actually archived it tbh.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpofPhpAzW0&ab_channel=MITOGEN2

Are we ever going to have some decent fucking weather?

>>99418
REFORM WILL BRING BACK ARE SUNSHINE!

>>99418

No, because they are manipulating the weather to control us.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/ckmmkdr0m2po

So are you three ready for Starmergeddon?

STARMTROOPERS ASSEMBLE!!!

>>99421
The Apockeirlypse.

Went to vote but I wasn't on the list apparently, despite having my polling card through and being in the right place, (someone from my flat block had just voted infront of me). They said if I go home and get my card and come back they can sort it, but I couldn't be arsed. They're all wankers anyway.

Went to a petrol station tonight and there was an OAP in front of me in the queue inside who spent about a minute or two ranting to the lad behind the counter how sick he was of the Conservatives because "everything costs a bloody arm and a leg nowadays".

Just got in from Tescos with Tunnock's tea cakes, Doritos, Time Out wafers and a 4 pack of Corona. I'll be here all night to witness the onslaught. Any of you lads staying up?

Wish I'd have bought some coke and some fags too actually but I guess amphetamine and a vape will do.

>>99428
Broken my calorie counting for a day, beer and nibbles are a tradition for these things.

>>99428

I can sleep in tomorrow till about 10:30 am, so I'll have plenty of time tonight to witness the full extent of the Tories' demise.

This is awkward. Traditionally we have a new thread when the results come in, but this one is less than a day old and has about 50 replies. But then if I make the post in here my beautiful graphic goes to waste.

Calling it:
Labour on 450+
Cons on 90+
boring, boring.

The BBC coverage is all very The Day Today at the moment.

LAB 410 (MAJ 170)
CON 131
LIB 61
REF 13
SNP 10
PC 4
GRN 2

Follow the culling easily with audible notifications:
https://matteason.co.uk/scream/

>>99434
The biggest surprise here is Reform.

>>99434
Less Labour seats than 1997 is bleakly amusing. Kind of boring for everyone except Reform, given the hype through the campaign.

>>99431

It's alright mate, once Labour get in we won't be restrained by Tory austerity any more and we can start as many new threads as we like.

Worst exit poll result on record for the Conservatives.

They are getting what they deserve.

So, who will declare first?
The first bit of excitement is over.

>>99427

>how sick he was of the Conservatives because "everything costs a bloody arm and a leg nowadays"

Yes, that's rather what it boils down to. You say this like it's something to roll your eyes incredulously over. The tories absolutely shagged the economy, and that's why they are getting their arses handed to them. It's pretty much that simple.

Are you the same lad who has been posting about how hard of a decision it has been to not vote Tory for the first time in your life? How detached from reality are you, can I ask?

soz if I'm reading too much into too little, I have had a few already

>>99440

I didn't mean it like that. Just sharing with you three here something that I witnessed today and which was probably indicative of the wider mood among voters.


>Are you the same lad who has been posting about how hard of a decision it has been to not vote Tory for the first time in your life? How detached from reality are you, can I ask?

I'm the lad who has voted Conservative all his life, yes. I have to say I sympathise with that old guy, because you can't possibly ignore the fact that everything is fucking expensive and that the Tories carry the bulk of the responsibility for it.

I actually ended up not voting today. I don't like any of the other parties enough to vote for them, but I sure as tits wasn't going to give Sunak my vote. They were going to get arse raped with or without my one single vote. And if my not voting today played a tiny little part in Sunak's undoing, then I don't regret it at all.

Fuck, Angela Rayner is dull.

I'm not realising that just now, but she's winning no points in the interview on Channel 4 at the moment.

I hope all you Labour voters enjoy getting fucked every which way by a throbbing red dick instead of a cold blue one.

I had a bit of a nap and missed the big bang of the exit poll being announced. I'm livid. Did they play the Rick Wakeman theme tune that was posted in the other thread? Also, 131 seats staying Conservative really isn't that bad compared to the doomsaying we've been seeing. If they were predicted to get anywhere between 55 and 155 seats, 131 is nowhere near the incineration we could have had. How disappointing, purely from a banter perspective.

>>99441
I meant to ask you how you felt about Rishi. I like him more than at least some of the other Conservative prime ministers we've had. Is there something in particular that makes him worse than, say, Theresa May or David Cameron?

Channel 4 has Nadine Dorries as a guest. Jesus Christ. Will I get banned for posting skull emojis?

Every time the BBC show the Lib Dem vote forecast I laugh. Stewart Lee lookalike Ed Davey, up 1% in the south, down 1% in London. +50 seats. It gets funnier each time. Soon it'll get annoying. Then absurd. Then funny again. Then hilarious.

I'm feeling really weird and anxious, like all of this might be a dream and I'll wake up and the Tories have won.

Do we want Are Nige to become an MP or not?

>>99448
I think 13 Reform seats, and none of them won by him, is utterly unbeatable as a hilarious outcome. The charts on TV show the exit poll predicting the results for individual seats, but I can't find that online so I guess I'll just have to keep scrutinising the background when Jeremy Vine walks around to see who won Clacton.

>>99448
No, it'll be funny as fuck if he gets beaten again.
Lee Anderson can fuck off too.

The first seat has been announced, in Houghton and Sunderland South. It is the ghastly Bridget Phillipson. Good news for Labour, but hopefully she will disappear and stop being wheeled out every time Labour need a Northern accent.

>>99444

>Is there something in particular that makes him worse than, say, Theresa May or David Cameron?

I don't like where he came from and what he stood for. Guys like that, investment bankers or other members of the economic and financial elite, don't make good politicians for the people. His tenure as PM was always just going to be a career step for him. And he's probably going to get a golden parachute handed to him by Goldman Sachs or others.

David Cameron at least in his early days showed a lot of promise. He was believable. Whether or not he ended up delivering on that promise, well... I can see why people would think that he didn't. In any case, the real shit show started after Brexit.

Turnout in Sunderland and Blyth both pretty poor so far (51% and 53%, both bad compared to prior results in their areas.)

What's with the Black Tower of Orthanc on the Vine-o-mapper?

>>99449
Looks like he's in.

IS TONTY BLAIR BEHIND THIS?

>>99441

Alright, apologies if I came off sounding aggressive there. Weird how my intuition was so accurate though.

I think you just stick out to me because honestly, coming from my background, I don't think I've ever met anyone who could describe themselves/their family as a lifelong Tory. I can't fathom it unless you're a full on aristocrat. Is your family wealthy? What do you do?

If you don't mind my asking anyhow.

Well aware this isn't an important part of tonight, but I feel like I can start giving a shit about politics again. For ten years I feel like I've been having the same opinions, because the problems have been the same, and it was beginning to drive me insane. I know some of you are thinking "why didn't you do something about it?", but I'm lazy and I live in the sticks. Also the problems of yesterday aren't magically changing into new problems tomorrow, but fuck me, something is different. The groundhog day of Tory laissez-faire conservatism is over, roll on the groundhog day of Labour neo-liberalism!

If this is bollocks to read I'm sorry, I'm very ill and tired.

>>99455
The campaign was basically 1997 2.0, so kind of.

You can check the exit poll by constituency on the Sky News website:
https://news.sky.com/story/exit-poll-what-is-the-forecast-election-result-in-my-constituency-13163180

It's ogre for hilarity.

Congratulations, Mr Mandelson!

>>99458
25% of a Labour gain, despite no "official" campaigning around here. Something else for me to tattoo onto my back and be forever pissed off about. All the surrounding constituencies were tap-ins, idiots.

Really feeling extremely weird now. My hands are tingling and Laura K is giving me a bonk-on. Think I might have a Zopiclone and phone the CMHT in the morning.

Is Jezza going to win and stick two fingers up to Keir?

It's been two hours and so far, Labour have won 100% of the seats that have declared. They've won 4 out of 4 out of 650.

Nice to see Heidi Alexander back. Shame that she's lost some weight.

>>99448
The problem with Clacton is that Labour ended up running a bad candidate and they even sent him off to campaign in the West Midlands. I think they'll regret this when they have Savile standing up in Commons.

>>99458
Otherlad better have voted LibDem like he promised when we swapped.

>>99464
She's no Heidi "Hottie" Allen.

I might be about to write Ash Sarkar a handwritten marriage proposal.

>>99466

Allen is just Caitlin Moran for skinnychasers.

>>99463
If they keep up this pattern, Labour will win 631 seats for s majority of 620.

Yvonne Ridley there, who appears to have moved on from her usual pro-Taliban platform to have a go at the transes.

Nice to see it's gone midnight and we're all getting a bit randy. Why don't we all pop a cialis together to celebrate?

So Corbyn got mullered on 32% of the vote share, but Starmer gets 36%(-ish) and is Restitutor Orbis, chosen of Sol Invictus. I'm not complaining exactly, but every election now it feels as if FPtP gets more and more absurd.

>>99471
As you can see almost everyone has fallen asleep, because almost everyone here is middle-aged now. No circle wank for us tonight.

Congratulations to Mark Francois, who definitely isn't a rapist, on being the first Tory to be returned.

Rachel Reeves really is a dire speaker, even by the low, low standards of the PLP.

>>99472

FPtP has always been daft, but nobody gave a shit when it was just the Liberals and the SDP getting shafted by it.

The Reform surge has probably scuppered electoral reform for another decade at least.

Nuke Ashfield!

>>99475
That surge by the way, is fucking bleak. Labour's complete unwillingness to campaign in a meaningful way against them is a disgrace.

So where are we at, how many results are in so far? I've been off playing videogames drunk until it gets a bit more interesting. Although I suppose it's pretty obvious which way it's going.

I typed some shite about Galloway holding his seat, but he hasn't! That freak's gone!

>>99477
https://www.theguardian.com/politics/ng-interactive/2024/jul/04/uk-general-election-results-2024-live-in-full

Not even ten percent of seats have declared yet, so you can probably get another Elden Ring boss done if you want.

Eyeing over a few of the seats and Reform has absolutely decimated the Tory vote in true blue seats. They'll have scuppered the Conservatives in every area that's even slightly marginal. Savile has fucked over the Tories yet again!

For all the hate he gets, he's probably the most successful politician of the last 20 years.

I'm so fucking tired of Monster Raving Looney Party candidates. Are they doing it for charity or are they just unfunny fucks?

Played a blinder in Chingford, Labour.

I don't know who the rotund gentleman in Islington is, but they simply have not made a jacket to accommodate such a bodyshape. Also, Corbyn wins the seat.

>>99482
>Corbyn wins the seat

Oh for FUCKS sake. Labour didn't even try on this and I saw it coming but I bet on Labour following the poll earlier in the week.

James Cleverly's got his tie back. Is that not a hanging risk? Someone's failing their duty of care.

>>99483
Labour's on course for a 200 seat majority, learn to win with a bit of decorum.

>>99485
Who gives a fuck about Labour?

>>99486
The bloke who just said "Labour didn't even try on this", in a manner that strongly suggests he wanted them to try harder to beat Corbyn.

Ooof. Lads. Suella making a grovelling apology REALLY has me.

>>99488

She's been a very naughty girl.

>>99479

As a pretty hard not just over Suella lefty, watching him ruthlessly engineer the Tories' destruction, I do feel a begrudging respect. I wish it was more like that "side by side with a friend" meme with Gimli and Legolas, but it's not, frankly it feels like a real monkey's paw kind of deal. He's going to be the arch villain for the next decade or more, and frankly failing to oppose him and keep the right at least moderately sane is just one more way the Tories have let us all down.

>>99488
>>99489
You pair need castrating. Or lobotomising. Both, maybe.

>>99487
I wanted Corbyn to retire and the mob of hardcore activists to have a night where they reflect on their life choices. Labour isn't my party, I'm just tactical voting.

>>99493
Okay.

FUCK
Streeting was 528 votes from losing to an independent but held on.
The NHS is doomed.

The Lib Dems win the Battle of the Bar Charts in Wimbledon.

>>99495
Gutting. I really loathe that man, he would say or do anything; and for what? I'm not even sure.

LABOUR GAIN OSSETT.

Last post of an era, lads.

MOGG'S GONE! Fucking yes, man! Labour have taken the 18th century.

It's no "a new dawn has broken...", is it? shit speech with a bussed in crowd of what, 100? the room is clearly below capacity. just lame.

>>99499

>>99500

It's 5am m8, give him a break.

Also the chubby mother-daughter duo on the left are well fit.

>>99502
Glad I'm not the only one thinking that.

Wales is officially a Tory-free zone.

>>99502
"We ran as a changed Labour party, and we will govern as a changed Labour party"
I take it back, Keir, please don't ape Blair. Self parody levels of self-satisfied 1990s nostalgiawank.

Rishi's confirmed he'll stay on as an MP. And imagine how edgy that guy felt when he printed off that L.

Sky news is even putting up helpful charts showing Starmer getting less votes than (a) Blair 1997, (b) Corbyn 2017. I'd've thought there'd be an embargo on that kind of noticing.

Liz Truss has lost her seat. And Ed Davey has finished his fantastic campaign with the best performance in the party's history, and including the old Liberal Party, the best performance in a century.

Nice.

Why are many Muslims so fiercely devoted to the Muslim people? Like in Birmingham Yardley, Muslims were intimidating Labour campaigners, even slashing tyres, and Galloway's candidate almost won. Then the jeering and shouting when Jess Phillips tried to give her victory speech. They're very passionate about the plight of Gazans, which is understandable, but they got Tories in in a few constituencies because they split the vote due to Labour being too pro-Israel.

>>99510
If you were in the minority and your future MP was running on the stance of "people like you are fair game for genocide" would you grin and vote them in anyway because they're proposing an office for value for money? Imagine, for example, you're in Scotland as an Englishman and the SNP have taken such a turn - would you really turn a deaf ear to it in exchange for them dualing the A9?

>>99507
>I'd've thought there'd be an embargo on that kind of noticing.
That's because, under the strain of constant social media consumption, your brain's starting to not work so good.

>>99512
We're going to spend the next 5 years arguing if Starmer's historic unpopularity is linked to him getting fewer votes than Corbyn in 2017, aren't we.

>>99511
It's just a very intense passion. I don't think it's a bad thing, it just seems like for a lot of them it's a single issue sort of thing. Phillips quit the frontbench to vote against Starmer and vote for a ceasefire in Gaza, yet she was still harassed and abused for not being pro-Palestine enough. I don't think you'd see that level of zeal from Christians living in Britain if there was oppression against a Christian population in another country.

>>99513

The location of the votes matter much more than the quantity.

Five glorious beige years to come.

Massive congratulations to Rishi Sunak on delivering a fantastic result for Labour and the Liberal Democrats.

>>99513
Corbyn stans will grasp any straws they can find.

It is all bollocks though. Green have 2 million votes and 4 seats. Reform have 4 million votes and 4 seats. Lib Dems are on 71 seats from 3.4million votes. Tories are on 119 seats from 6.7million votes. Labour are on 410 seats from 9.6million votes.

I remember thinking back when Cameron first got in, "Brilliant, this is going to be shit isn't it. I'm going to get to live the best years of my life through the shit Thatcher bits like in Billy Elliot or The Full Monty or Kes or whatever." I was too young to know if politics does matter or not, so I didn't know if it really would be like that, but on the whole... Yeah it was pretty bad wasn't it.

Feels weird knowing that period is over. I never thought it was going to be. The entire context of my adult life has been "fucking Tories ruining everything", so now what? Is the government still bastards? I can still be angry at them for things not being immediately perfect again, right?

Jeremy Hunt will be PM one day, I'm sure of it.

>>99513
My prediction, which I should have made before the election, is that with so many traditionally non-Labour seats now having a Labour MP, the party will be torn apart by infighting and factionalism, just like the Conservatives were in the previous government. We’re all doomed. Labour will rescue the NHS, and half of Labour MPs will get angry letters each week from constituents demanding to know why they have to pay an extra £2.50 a month tax to cure poor people’s diseases. Those MPs will stand up for their constituents and bring down their own party.

>>99520
>Labour will rescue the NHS

>two years after serving as prime minister. Amid much online excitement about her prospects of losing, Truss was initially not seen at the count at 6 a.m, forcing the result to be delayed by several minutes. Some of those watching began slow clapping before she appeared, not wearing a Conservative rosette.

Apparently she was hiding in the toilets because she knew she'd lost.

>>99510

Because Islam is a political philosophy, not just a religion. Mohammed was a politician as well as a prophet.

>>99522
So much for the theory that she gets off on public humiliation then.

Rishi Sunak’s farewell speech outside Downing Street was simultaneously petty and magnanimous. He apologised for losing so heavily, said that Keir Starmer is a decent man, and then went off about how he’d fixed the economy. He really does come across like a good guy, apart from the party he’s in.

>>99524
You never know, she might have retired to the toilets to write 'filthy piggy' and other such obscenities all over her body in lipstick underneath her clothing.

>>99522
>>99526
I read in The Telegraph she was actually out in the carpark. I'll leave it to you to decide if that's further evidence she's a day collar wearing mega sub.

Reform got more votes than seats, proportionally.
If PR comes in, Are Jimmy will have a job for life, being a pain in the arse and doing speaking engagements while ignoring his constituency.
How's he going to agitate to get PR? What levers does he have other than a lot of annoyed voters 'who was robbed' - and how can he deploy them?

Also, are newspapers going to shuffle alliances? How does this work?

>>99527

Look at her face.

>>99496
Why did the Lib Dems make their election symbol to be a caution sign featuring a flying bird? What're you supposed to take from that - be cautious of freedom? We'll don high vis jackets to make the country fly? It's simply the most eye catching, ugly election symbol I've seen in years.

Is Vorderslad okay? Aunty Carol's been having the time of her life and I've not seen a single post.

>>99530
Not much to see really. She greated it with the same inscrutible look that made millions wonder if she was even sentient, all those years ago during her date with destiny.

>>99528
>How's he going to agitate to get PR?

How are the party called Reform going to push for Reform?

>>99532
I kind of got bored of Vorderposting after her Twitter went political. They weren't interspersed with enough pictures of her physique and I couldn't be arsed trawling through Instagram instead.

I don't get why they are calling it a "loveless landslide".

People cared enough to give Labour their vote. ARE Keir may not have the panache of Blair. It's not the return of Cool Britannia. But it was never going to be. And look where Blair got us.

>>99533
I think it's a valid question. He's got very little official resource within parliament, but he's a competent and annoying gobshite. Can he convince the remains of the conservative party that PR is worth some effort? I assume the lib dems are still keen?

>>99535
I haven’t heard anyone call it that, but I heard “a referendum on the Conservative Party” several times. I think that was quite accurate, given the eruption of orgiastic love for the Liberal Democrats and Reform parties as well. The whole country just went ABC: Anyone But the Conservatives. Even totally unelectable permalosers like Savile and the entire Green Party did well.

>>99536
>I assume the lib dems are still keen?

They're the only major party this time around where their vote share broadly reflects their share of MPs.

>>99537

I can't find it right now, but either the Guardian or the DM went with "loveless landslide" in one of their article teasers.

In the end, there's a saying in politics. People don't vote in a good opposition, but they vote out a bad government.

It doesn't matter how good - or bad - you are as an opposition party. What's needed is a tipping point where people are so fed up with the incumbent government that they'll vote in almost anybody but them. Even if Labour and Keir Starmer are still pretty lackluster, and the party hasn't changed fundamentally since its crushing defeat against BoJo in 2019. Labour isn't the Conservatives, and to some people, that was all that mattered yesterday.

But calling it a "loveless" win is still a bit unfair. "I don't like you but I want you to run the country" probably isn't what most people's way of thinking boiled down to yesterday.

I think Rory Stewart made the point that while Kier Starmer's popularity ratings aren't very high by historical standards, he's still the most popular politician in the UK by some margin. The utter madness of recent years has hugely damaged trust in politics as a whole and it'll take time to rebuild that trust. People are just utterly fed up with Westminster bickering that has nothing to do with their lives.

Starmer didn't run a very exciting campaign, but it was precisely the right campaign for the moment - safe, steady, calming. He lost a big chunk of the Muslim vote, but other than that he managed to get through the election campaign without massively pissing anyone off. He didn't excite many people, but he didn't repel many people either and the results bear out the logic of that strategy.

I know a lot of people are eager for radical change, but I'm hoping that Starmer just gets on with being boring and competent. We don't have to have mad politics any more, we don't have to be constantly distracted by barges and Rwanda and mini-budgets. We can wake up in 2029 to find that the country has quietly got much better without any real drama along the way. Starmer can win another term with a wholly unenthusiastic "yeah, that bloke's alright I suppose" from the electorate and a huge majority.

I remember in 2010 reading someone talk of how a Tory government in Westminster would signal the end of the Union due to the disconnect with the SNP. And now that Labour are back in power in London we see the UK as safe (for now) with the SNP relegated.

I'm sure my entire post is going to be 'Labour should do x' like I'm Starmer's overbearing husband but the Lib Dems had a point that we need to sort out the UK constitutional balance now rather than later. It would be the perfect time for Labour to start that while they have maybe the best capacity to do it in Westminster and be ready for the Scottish parliamentary election in 2026.

>>99528
I think we need to accept that the voting system is broken in this country. Hopefully the range of third parties and independents will be able to make a coalition on reform and Labour someone finds its heart again when it comes to delivering constitutional change.

Yeah Savile is now in Parliament, but how was having him outside of Parliament working out?

>>99535
>>99537
>>99540
I think the telling thing is how little anyone actually knows of Labour's policies. It's been a campaign that has been dispassionate by design and it might actually cause problems given they don't have much of a manifesto to lean on. Labour has avoided pissing anyone off but they've also written themselves into a corner by promising to not raise taxes and making mealy-mouthed statements that they won't bring back austerity either.

But look at the government books at the moment and the eye-watering interest were paying on debt, look at just how threadbare basically every social institution is at the moment with their current budgets while demand on the NHS achieves escapes velocity. Unless Rachel Reeves can deliver exponential growth on Monday we'll see Labour break their central pledge of the campaign immediately and treat the taxpayer like a piñata while services implode.

I get that they didn't want to Theresa May their own campaign but we're in for a lot of pain and I don't think we or the new batch of MPs are ready for it.

>And look where Blair got us.

Well let's see their list of achievements shall we. Let's just ignore that happened next.

Does anyone know where to cop a men's suit like this one Rayner's got on? I've realised I don't actually want to dress like Are Stew from the moment I hit thirty, but nor does prentending I'm in Skins (remember Skins?) until I'm middle-aged seem healthy.

>>99539
John Curtice was the one who coined "loveless landslide" last night. I don't think he's entirely off-base, it wasn't a mass outpouring of adulation for Starmer or Labour that won this huge majority, but I also think the phrase implies an overestimation of just how much other majorities, like Johnson in 2019 and Blair in 1997, were motivated by such things.

>>99542
You mean a colourful suit or one that has baggy trousers?

>>99517
I am familiar with the election results, I am not sure what you think they demonstrate.

>>99520
I would share your prediction on infighting ahoy. People so well trained in the art are hardly going to settle down and behave themselves now that power is much closer to their grasp. I don't think they'll save the NHS though: I think they'll improve results for 5-10 years by mortgaging the thing to blackrock because doing it that way, while more expensive, keeps the costs off the government's books (while keeping the liability in the government's hands)...

>>99535
He got a lower percentage of the vote than post-Iraq Blair on his first outing on turnout only marginally (like 0.5%) above 2001, the lowest since universal suffrage. His vote share is closer to that of Michael Howard in 2005 than to Blair's. Fewer people in absolute numbers voted for him than for the hated Jeremy Corbyn. His personal popularity polls are dismal and - once again - he's not even pissed anyone off by being in power yet.
Only seats matter under FPTP, sure, but seats don't dispense love: people do. It's very much fair to point out the oddity that the seats are there but the love is absent.
(It's also good to remind Labour early on which side their bread is buttered on, lest they do a Johnson and imagine that they've got a big personal mandate rather than living and dying at the whim of the press.)

Reform could learn a lot from the Lib-Dem's ground game.

Interestingly, their pitiful reward of 4 seats from a higher vote share than the Orange Squad could turn the left against the notion of PR/AV since it can now be presented as a defensive bastion against the fash.

Reform just took South Basildon by 98 votes.

I want to have consensual romantic sex with Nadia Edith Whittome MP.

>>99547

That pudgy face, eh.

>>99542

ASOS do a decent line in affordably priced but fucking mental menswear.

https://www.asos.com/asos-design/asos-design-oversized-suit-in-bright-yellow-crepe/grp/206508071

>>99544

>I would share your prediction on infighting ahoy.

Strongly disagree. Starmer has been brutal about party discipline and very careful about selection. He has made it abundantly clear that he will have no hesitation in withdrawing the whip and he has a big enough majority to suppress very large rebellions. Infighting will be punished swiftly and mercilessly.

>>99548
>cute
>leftie
>local
>attainable
By all metrics the perfect woman.

>>99551

More like the closet fattychaser's dream. When you want a bit of pudgy but not the fat arse.

>>99550
He couldn't even bounce Diane Abbott, he's got the numbers but not the skill or the goodwill

>>99550
We'll see on that, the thing about having a big majority is that you also don't have an opposition to collaborate against and no risk anyone will lose their seat. Not that Labour ever needed an excuse to get the factionalist knives out of course - remember Owen Smith?

>>99552
I think that would be Lisa Nandy. I'm sure I'm not the only one that noticed her unusually tight dress as she came into Number 10 or the mark from her knickers as she stepped in the door. Or maybe I'm not but nobody wants to say it while she's the new minister for culture.

>>99554

She was doing herself no favour with that dress. She's more of a pantsuit figure.

Even painfully dull Angela Rayner looked more fetching today in her daring green outfit. And that's saying something.

>>99555

Angela Rayner is really the definition of what I call "ugly fit". She's not a looker, her dress sense is shocking, but somehow it's alluring.

Probably because I harbour elaborate fantasies of what kind of a filthy bitch she is after a few white wines. Ah shit I should have had a wank this morning shouldn't I.

>>99556
I've posted it before, but she reminds me of a lobotomised version of Hannah Fry.

>>99556

She became a grandmother at the age of 37. If she isn't properly mucky, I will eat my hat.

>>99558

Probably a proper working class slag in her time. She left school at 16, pregnant and with no qualifications. The stuff of Two Pints of Lager.

>>99556
I'm formulating a theory that there are certain things that are incredibly attractive in women but which we're collectively blind because the society we live in hasn't given us the tools for it. It's different to being an out-and-out stereotypical tomboy but adopts some traits we'd consider masculine like being average-tall height, general chattiness, confidence and having more of a blokish character where you can see them as a mate.

I'd think about this more but I'm pretty sure this also reads like a blind man describing the sun in the sky.

>>99560
It's the male equivalent of how women love gay men because they can talk to them about clothes and shopping and stuff. Lesbians are bros, and women always look fantastic in football shirts. Our theories are slightly different from each other, but I am confident that we are definitely onto something.

>>99557
While I am announcing my opinions on women in the public eye, I would just like to also contribute that I hate Hannah Fry so much. She's ghastly. I don't think this relates to the above point at all, but some armchair psychoanalysts might disagree.

>>99561
I saw Fry for the first time on the C4 election coverage, I thought she was quite lovely. Like an intelligent Stacy Dooley.

>>99562
Other than being ginger, in what way is she like Stacy Dooley?

Why do our political talks always devolve into which female politicians we'd give it to?

>>99564
The election's over now, there's not much else to be said

We had Blair's Babes, what will this lot be known as? Starmer's Slags?

https://archive.ph/20240706062917/https://www.thetimes.com/comment/columnists/article/dont-replace-the-culture-war-with-class-war-98xllvd80

This article, just... Oof. Fucking oof.

>>99563
Ginger only.

>>99565
For me it's Kemi Badenoch. Want me a black transphobic race baiting hacker gf.

So here's something I haven't seen anyone asking, what with the big story being the coming of Reform and the collapse in Tory votes; what did the Corbyn die-hards do? I know what I did, I voted for the Labour party. But how many of the 2019 Labour voters stayed home or went to another party is an interesting question.

>>99566
Telegraph columnists are often filing directly from Tufton Street. If not that then from atop a pile of daddy's money. They have literally worthwhile nothing to say and are, in essence, a keystage 5 version of the demented comments you can find beneath an article in The Mail, with, usually, a touch more Tory tribalism. Headlines from the editor, Allister Heath, are often such overblown portents of doom, you wonder how he gets out of bed in the morning. Headlines from Allister Heath dated 7th September 2022 are so embarrassing you wonder how subsequently leaves the house.

>>99565

Starmer's Rosie Palmers.

>>99568
Jezzas 40 odd years of being a dedicated and hard working MP for the area he represents worked in his favour.

>>99570
I meant nationally, you daftie. Obviously Islington North still likes the bloke.

>>99568
The Corbynites I know all voted Labour. They feel like they are owed a Labour government now. And if you're the sort of person who would rather vote for a left-wing party you agree with, even if they have no chance of winning - like me, and anyone who wouldn't have voted Labour this time - then you probably voted Green in 2019 too.

>>99568
Looking at the data it's a pretty fair assumption that at least some moved to Reform and that some others has already flipped from Corbyn to Johnson in 2019. There's a lot of people who vote based on vibes or outright appeals to populism no matter the stripe.

It must be a nice life, to just not give a single fuck about politics.

>>99573

As always the thing a lot of political wonks don't get is that although the trends and evidence are all there to show how certain demographics have strong ties to their parties, that's just one of those illusions statistics create that can't be used to characterise individuals.

Statistics show us the homogenised average grey goo person of 15 million Labour voters; but the reality of those people as individuals is that they don't see Labour and the history of socialism and their class position, now do they see the Conservatives therefore as the upper class and elites and vested interests of capital.

They see it more like "Oooh you know what I've bought Coke the last three times, I reckon I might give Pepsi a try this time." And then if it turns out Pepsi is rancid artificially sweetened pisswater, they'll be back to Coke the next time and never again.

There's something off about this picture.

>>99583

And it isn't Angela Rayner's flesh coloured dress.

First a mint green pantsuit and now a flesh coloured dress. She is becoming an ever more challenging wank.

>>99584
If you're wanking over her instead of David Byrne in the bottom-left corner, I am forced to conclude that you don't want to enjoy it.

>>99583

a) The lens is sufficiently wide-angle that the people in the bottom left are distorted
b) it's a really weird angle because the photographer is on a balcony
c) the backlighting makes everyone look like a cardboard cut-out

It's not a great photo on a technical level, but I'm not sure how I'd do a better job unless I had easy access to something like a grandstand or a steeply raked stage.

>>99586
Personally, I blame the lighting. I assumed that "There's something off" was a reference to how absolutely everyone in this new diverse Labour government was a pasty white person, but I looked closer and some of these pasty white people are wearing turbans. There are plenty of blacks and Asians; they just all look white, and I think that must be the lighting.

Has Kier had a haircut? I reckon that's gonna tank his popularity ratings, it's disastrous.

>>99587
>plenty of blacks
>they just look white
I understand how an Asian might look White, but how would a Black person look White?

>>99589

>but how would a Black person look White?

Michael Jackson.

>>99589
Albinos?

One of Jimmy Savile's first acts in Parliament was to complain about a man who hasn't been Speaker for almost five years. I'm not saying Reform haven't got much going for them, but I am actually saying that.

It's been a week, why hasn't everything been fixed yet?

>>99595
One step at a time. We're just going to win the football, then national optimism will soar and the momentum will fix everything.

>>99596
>momentum will fix everything

But I thought they kicked Corbyn out of the Labour party?

>>99595
I noticed that Question Time was on early again, and while I was watching, there wasn't a single insufferable twat. I only watched for about four minutes, though.

>>99595
Oh it's been fixed, just not for you. Those poor, poor illegal migrants nearly had to go to Rwanda before Keir Starmer saved them you know.

>>99595

Keir'll fix it.

>releasing thousands of prisoners early, including some violent offenders

Is the plan to get all of their massively unpopular legislation out of the way as soon as possible? Even so it's a gamble. Bet you a tenner that every right-leaning paper will be scrambling to get the names of all those released under this scheme in the (hope?) chance that one of them will go on to commit murder in time for the next election. Cue all the "Labour, soft on crime" headlines.

>>99613
>Some offenders, such as those guilty of violent or sexual offences and sentenced to more than four years are currently eligible for automatic release after serving 66% of their sentences. This will not change under the new plans.

https://fullfact.org/news/labour-prison-early-release/

The prison system is close to full capacity and without action would have exceeded it later this year.

>>99613

The Tories released 10,000 prisoners early over the last nine months. The prison estate is so overcrowded that it has effectively been operating on a one-in, one-out basis.

>Frequent headlines about crises in our public services have begun to lose their bite. But the situation in prisons is so severe that it threatens the functioning of the whole criminal justice system. Court hearings have already been delayed and police cells are clogged up with prisoners with nowhere to go. Without decisive measures, the prospect of police being unable to make arrests or hold people in custody is very real – and imminent.

>The May government launched the Prison Estate Transformation Programme in 2016, promising 10,000 new spaces by 2020. But poor management and chopping and changing of funding led to a comprehensive failure: just 206 places were delivered.

>The only reason we haven’t reached an immediate crisis point sooner is because of failings elsewhere in the criminal justice system. Collapsing charge rates and many fewer convictions meant the prison population did not grow as rapidly as projected, even as sentences became longer and the number of community sentences plummeted. But the time that bought has now run out, and with the impact of 20,000 new police officers starting to be felt in the number of charges, pressure on the system is only increasing.

https://www.instituteforgovernment.org.uk/comment/failures-last-government-labour-prisons-options

To give an idea of just how badly the justice system is faring right now, a bunch of influencers recently entered pleas in a fraud trial. It had taken quite a while for the case to reach the point of a pre-trial hearing where their pleas were formally taken. The court then listed the case for trial at the court's earliest convenience - which turned out to be sometime in 2027.

This issue of court delays is making the prison problem worse. There are a significant number of people who are inside because they're on remand pending trial, for which they're having to wait longer and longer. Not only are we running out of space to house serious offenders, we have lots of people that are waiting indefinitely taking up space.