Patricia Clarkson.

Nina Hartley.

Scully is an eternal joy.

Nigella Lawson is peng AF for sixty.

Shania Twain. Sexy as fuck in the 90s, and still bang tidy.

>>41420

I don't see the charm.

Anthea Turner, who no longer looks much like Anthea Turner but is still well fit.

>>41415
I knew that chocolate advert would result in such a thread.

Good work.

>>41423

What advert? I don't want to be one of those "I don't even own a TV" twats because I've got a telly so massive the neighbours think I'm dole scum, but I've also got a PiHole so I can't remember the last time I saw an advert.

>>41421
More Shania for me then, good thing too.

>>41423
I second the other fella, what choccy ad?

>>41424>>41425
https://vimeo.com/333366594

Was it ever explained how Dido manages to look 49-going-on-25?

>>41426
I was happier living a world where 'Kids in America' wasn't sung by a British band.

>>41427
I don't know what you see. She looks her age.

Tracy Ann Oberman has, if anything, got fitter.

>>41429 Didn't she blame my mate Corbyn for the Holocaust or something?

>>41430
She blamed him for being a filthy anti-semite, yes, because he was, as Owens latest book proves.

>>41431
Who is Owen?

No politics in /x/ please, it stifles my erection.

>>41429
She looks fantastic in that picture. Of all the women in this thread, that is the one I would (try to) go home with.

>>41434

Have you seen Toast of London? There's some serious wank fodder.

Also:

https://www.cameo.com/tracyanno

>>41435
>Request £24.9
>Chat £4.97

What exactly am I paying for here?

>>41436
A personalised phone message. It's actually a brilliant idea, great for the fans, easy money for the celeb, everyone wins.

>>41435
They're missing a trick not having a porn star section.

>>41438
Don't think I could put a price on having Sophie Dee talk filthy to me in her proper accent before she went all Hollywood.

>>41439

Agreed. I am perpetually envious of the scrawny goth bloke she did all the BDSM stuff with.

>>41439
It's possible you could; I've seen some household name porn stars offering to do this but the one I was looking at to see if it was affordable started at $1200. I bet they'd be negotiable but to find out you'd have to get a real pornhub account and join the porn equivalent of their patreon and that all adds up.

I'm about 98% sure I'm right, look here:
https://fancentro.com/sophiedee/aboutme#
You can message her and there's something about being a travelling entertainer which I assume is code for escort so she'd most likely be up for reading you a quick personalised script for a couple of notes.

>>41439

She does customs on ManyVids...

https://www.manyvids.com/Custom-vid/505230/

>>41435
There is no way that the first video on the left about a precocious young man who loves rice pudding being spanked by his aunitie wasn't one of you lot.

>>41443
$499 for a 5 minute video is a bit ridiculous if you ask me. That could buy you some Rhubarb and Custard outfits and an hour with a very confused Eastern European.

>>41445

Now this is a tune.

Let's try to get this (excellent) thread back on track.

I'm sure that she is an utter nightmare, not that it's ever stopped me in my choice of partner before, but Mariah Carey.

Didn't fancy her in the slightest in her younger years, but the older she gets... well.

>>41447

Speaking of absolute mentaloids...

>>41448
Be fair mate. Mariah is a bit of a mental diva. She hasn't reached the stage where she wants women to stick bits of pottery up their fanny for good vibes.

Pamela Stephenson seems to be ageing in slow motion.

Katheryn Winnick is 42, she's gonna be giving me the horn well into pensiondom

>>41451

Christ, I bet she still gets IDed in pubs.

>>41451
I found an unflattering photo of her after scrolling for about eight pages.

>>41453

Even when she's all puffy from crying, she doesn't look a day over 30. Burn the witch.

>>41442
Hmmm, her DOB is put down as 2002. This would make most of her career thus far illegal.

Anyway, Carol Smillie is 58, 59 later this year. Never used to fancy her, but she's aged into a beauty.

Clare Grogan, the original Kristine Kochanski in Red Dwarf is now 58.

>>41459
By 'original', do you mean the one who was shown in the first season?

>>41460
between 1-3 I think

>>41459
Some of us know her better as the lead singer of Altered Images.

Ulrika!

>>41463

She has wrecked herself with tanning and crash dieting.

>>41464
Blimey.

>>41464
I don't believe this for a second, where did you get that image?

>>41466

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-8515253/Ulrika-Jonsson-shares-honest-shower-selfie-reveals-not-washed-hair-8-days.html

>>41466
I know it's incredible really. She is living proof of how fucking dangerous sunbeds can be for your skin.

THE DREAM.

>>41470
Wow.

They looks so similar. Was her partner a male version of her?

>>41472
Well, not exactly.

>>41471
SHE'S GOT IT

>>41422

Katy Hill is still fit as owt.

>>41476
Maybe it's just the hair, but she looks like when you mirror someone's face and it becomes totally uncanny.

>>41479
She looks almost identical to when you do that with the right side (our left) of her face but quite different to the left side.

>>41481

>>41484

That definitely won't haunt my dreams.

Aunt Zelda would still get it.

Aunt Hilda and Sabrina, not so much.

>>41533

Have a word with yourself m8.

Save yourselves some heartache - don't look up what Violet Berlin looks like now. I've never been so close to tears...

>>41535

She looks like a perfectly ordinary 52-year-old woman who isn't that arsed about her looks. You're only upset because it reminds you of your own mortality.

>>41536
You're wrong and you're a grotesquely ugly freak.

Suzi Perry's one of those birds that has aged perfectly.

>>41749
More recent pics, compared with her younger modelling pics, are in an entirely different league.

>>41750
I have a pulse.

>>41751
That outfit is going to be a bit sweaty, and why are you sitting on the hob love?

>>41753
She's warming my tea up.

Carol Kirkwood is absolutely stunning for a 58 y/o.

>>41775
Yeah that gut really tickles my high pressure front IYKWIM.

>>41776
Nowt wrong with a bit of paunch. Anyway, she'd be able to mother me before I do the sex IWKWIM.

>>41776

We've all put on a bit of beef this year.

>>41778
Don't worry, otherlad will realise that a belly on a woman is basically a giant third tit. And we all like tits.

>>41779

I'm so glad to see this trope soaking into the collective psyche.

>>41779

Give it a rest fat fetish lad. Belly has a totally different texture to real tit, you'd know that if you'd ever felt any- You only instigate this line of discussion so you can try to persuade us land whales the size of Ricky Naputi are the image of persection.

And to qualify this post in the traditional .gs fashion: My missus has both massive F cup mammaries as well of a bit of cozy belly pudge. I'm well acquainted with both of them.

I'd let her explain it all.

>>41782
WHO IS SHE

>>41785

Melissa Joan Heart, her what played Sabrina.

>>41787
But Sabrina didn't explain it all.

>>41782
Ooh ladm8.
Been a while since I thought of her.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=REJU6f9vXrc

Sheridan Smith's chebs are a national treasure.

>>41790

Chebs.

Also such obvious daddy issues that she's literally tattooed them on her arm.

>>41791
I'll admit that she's attractive but I can't say much for the chav tier shows that she appears in. Please tell me you don't watch them.

Jessica Hynes was just on Sunday Brunch this morning. She's still a lovely bod.

>>41814
Yeah she's absolutely gorgeous.

>>41814
She could carry my hod IYKWIM.

>>41814

Would've when Spaced was made, still would today.

>>41823

Doesn't really seem like she's aged much, at least going by that picture. Good for her. and one of very few actual funny women

>>41824
Yet she's a bit reclusive. I'd rather see her doing the rounds on panel shows than, say, Katherine Ryan.

>>41814
Bloody gorgeous.

Rosamund Pike is 41.

Denise van Outen!

>>41839

Her head appears to have grown taller

>>41839
She sort of looks like a Waxwork model of herself. Saying that I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crisps.

Emily Booth, former presenter of BITS on 4Later.

>>41842

I preferred Newton Dunn. Her mild speech impediment still makes my balls ache.

>>41843

I always fancied Aleks Krotoski the most. I dunno what that says about me.

I know what you mean about the speech impediment though. Lucy Worsley always makes me weak at the knees.

>>41842

PHWOAR

Emily Booth has got them out in a few cheap British horror films. She was my favourite of the bints.

>>41842

I think I mentiined this in a bragging thread, but I've both got drunk with Booth and slept with her. Not the same night however.

>>41847

We haven't forgotten and we still hate you for it, you jammy bastard. The way the economy is going, your wank bank will be worth more than Barclays.

>>41842>>41843
I do miss Bits.
It was a decent show about games but they actually gave a shit.

That lass from Beethoven 2 always did things to me, even as a young lad. Still would.

>>41850
Fucking hell you're not wrong.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=b8I8UR7mUfc

She reminds a hell of a lot of Parker Posey.

>>41850
I'd beeat her hoven IYKWIM.

Sharleen Spiteri and Tamsin Greig are both fit for their respective ages.

>>41850 >>41852
After hearing her speak she reminds me of this girl.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AYbvsI6j7dY

Martine McCutcheon at 44 is still stunning.

>>41858

>>41857
She has a fantastic voice - both physically, and for the internet. Going to be a star.

Angellica Bell hasn't aged a day since I used to have after school wanks to her.

Is it just a factor of being older than 30 that birds in their mid-40s no longer look really old?

>>41868

>Is it just a factor of being older than 30 that birds in their mid-40s no longer look really old?

Probably, yeah. Thinking back to my school days, a lot of my teachers would have been in their early 20s, but they seemed old. It's a cliche, but I do find myself seeing police officers or doctors and thinking "there's no way you're old enough, you look about seventeen". I suppose it's just your subconscious protecting you from the horror of the bathroom mirror - you're not getting old, it's just that young people are getting younger.

>>41870
Yeah, possibly some mechanism of coming to terms with the progression of life and aging. It's like I no longer look at 20 y/o birds and think "you're stunning", it's more a case of "get back in the oven, you're not ready".
If I could look back at some of my teachers who were in their 30s and 40s at school and uni, I imagine I'd have a completely different set of stonk-on criteria backed up with the knowledge that most men and women are completely fucking insane.

>>41870

The bit I find hard to come to terms with is that past a certain age, all your viable shags are with mums.

I've never been a big milf fan, but past 30 childless women are increasingly rare, and most of the ones you do find are mental in one way or another. It's not that I have any inherent problem with them being mums, but they do tend to let themselves go a bit after that, and there's obviously a lot of inherent hassle you can be doing without if you're just after a quick dip, and even more so if you're single and looking for a partner.

And yes, they do sometimes have a bagged out fanny. Not always, but if they had a fat cunt of a baby or twins or what have you... No amount of wishful thinking will change the fact that hole is wrecked.

You do get the opposite effect when you see some women who just look haggard and then find out they're early 30s and look mid 50s. Normally they're the ones who had kids early and the world has just beaten them down.

>>41868
>Is it just a factor of being older than 30 that birds in their mid-40s no longer look really old?

Perception is largely influenced by social status and familiarity i.e. how you overestimate your dad's height or the attractiveness of women you work with. You still prefer a nice firm arse or tits but unless you're slaving away as a full-time playboy that doesn't matter.

Well, that and black don't crack.

>>41875
Sort of like how everyone over the age of 70 remembers snow up to their necks when they were 3, forgetting they were only 3 foot tall at the time?

Yeah, young birds just don't really do it for me anymore. Rather an older one that has dropped the daddy issues.

>>41871

The main thing I notice about young birds today is they've no clue how to use makeup or false lashes or whatever without making themselves look like, well, kids who have got into their mum's make up bag. They look a right state.

I'm not sure if that's what they looked like when I was actually their age, because I was only bothered about the goth and emo chicks with eyeliner about a centimetre thick, but I suspect it's partly meant to look that way. Fashion has shifted in a very garish direction over the last few years.

>>41886

The heavy makeup is deliberate - it's just the youth fashion that we can't understand because we're too old. It's influenced by drag artists, which I suppose explains a lot.

Saying that a lot of women I know around 30 go for lip filler and all sorts of other dodgy surgery, they hardly look any better. But then most of the women I know are air hostesses.

>>41885
At 28 I've discovered I'm going for the 'slightly chubby young mum early to mid 30's' vibe. That may say more about my standards than any maturing taste however, but it works for me.

I'm trying to find some examples but failing.

>>41885
Taste definitely becomes refined but my point is that the more objective criteria remains static. Men are more egalitarian than we're given credit but still:

>>41888
Like Lily Brazier (that one from people just do nothing).

Ronni Ancona's actually quite funny too, imagine she's proper filthy too.

We have become what he hate the most.

Mrs Doyle.

>>41906

She did a couple of nude scenes in Shameless. Would.

>>41905
>skimpy bikini

As opposed to a modest, demure bikini?

>>41909

Yes.

>>41907

Which ep?

>>41906
Ah go on.

>>41911

s07e07, s08e13

Bond, Jennie Bond.
She fits the bill of being a posho landed lady sort who likes a bit of rough from the stable boy.

Toyah looking good for a 62 year old.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khkKfMotNoI

>>41980
Good God, man.

>>41980
Fucks sake I saw that before work and was just coming to post it here now you idea thief.

>>41980
I thought that was Fripp. So is he married to her? Lucky chap if so, he'll have gotten some decent mileage.

>>41980
cor blimey

>>41980
Phwoar I bet he plays her red album IYWKIM.

Jet from Gladiators.

>>41987
Phwoar I'd let her on my atlas-spheres IYKWIM.

>>41987

She could analyse my desk IYKWIM.

I have no idea what that means.

https://www.dianeyoudale.co.uk/product/desk-analysis/

>>41842

If anyone's looking for prime Emily Booth in a school uniform. And also Bits is solid.

>>41987
One of first pubescent awakenings was down to Diane Youdale making double entendre in a rubber dress.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uo7FCEhSaJQ
Or this video for a purer nostalgia wank.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRupWSii3cY

The white t-shirt is back.

>>41992
She knows *exactly* what she's doing. Has she mentioned it?

>>41993
You don't say?

>>41993

Smart's Kirsten O'Brien

Miranda Richardson is 63 today and still proper bang tidy. She sort of looks like that Rose person one of you used to keep posting, but actually attractive.

That Joanna Gosling who does the news is lovely for a 50 y/o.

Claire Sweeney?

>>42470

I couldn't shag anyone who named their son Jaxon.

I say that as someone who gets a Pavlovian semi whenever I go in a kebab shop.

>>42471
I’m unsure of how the two relate, but whatever you say, cannibal boy.

She's 50?? I thought she was mid-30s.

>>42120
>>42481
Newsreaders could have a thread all to themselves.

This isn't the most flattering picture of Martine Croxall I could find, but dude Cummings has left lmao like it's leaving my dick

Are Sara

>>43022
Do you like cox in the evening? Or did you prefer cox in the morning?

>>43023
I'm quite used to Tess Daly and Keira Knightley.

That Cathy Newman what does that there Channel 4 news seems to get fitter with age.

>>43197

So you're saying your preference is women who have been forced to sniff their own farts?

I would completely destroy Sally Nugent who does BBC breakfast - she seems to get fitter year after year. I want to have the sex quite badly.

>>43424

Looks like she's just smelled one of Cathy Newman's farts.

Mila Kunis is turning 40 today.

Chaka Khan is 71. Unbelievable.

https://youtu.be/JOSgfSGknvc

Ar Soph. She's 45 here, gorgeous as she ever was. Her husband is a lucky son of a gun.

Angela Scanlon.


One word. Redheads.