Today I have tried Richmond's meat-free sausages. In terms of texture they've got a satisfying crunchy skin to them, the most pork-like of any vegetarian sausage I've tried, although it does tend to get stuck on your teeth. The inside was slightly too dense for my liking. In terms of flavour they tasted vaguely like a pork sausage but it was largely just... nothingness. It was diluted pork.

They'd probably go well in a fry-up, but I wouldn't recommend getting them unless they were on offer.

Huel's chocolate option reminds me of Alpro's desserts. Overall I'd rate it as the best flavour I've tried as the vanilla tends to leave that scratchy feeling at the back of your throat.

Just remembered i had some passion fruit in the fridge - yum! Tastes like passion fruit.

>>13195

Mate.

Fry bacon with it. Scoop out the innards, fry it in the pan with the bacon.

The seeds end up tasting like charred bacon, the flesh didn't impact the flavour of the bacon much but I guess had a very minor impact. But the fucking seeds dude, they tasted amazing.

>>13193
I wanted to like them, and you're right they've got a skin on them, but I found the insides very bland and poor texture.

>>13193

>In terms of flavour they tasted vaguely like a pork sausage but it was largely just... nothingness. It was diluted pork.

They're an accurate production of real Richmond sausages, then?

To be honest I think slightly shit sausages are best for a fry up. They should be a bulk, while the real flavour comes from good bacon, and scooping a bit of everything else up onto the same fork.

>>13198
>They're an accurate production of real Richmond sausages, then?

Cheap sausages at least have a flavour to them. The veggie Richmond sausages were about as close to tasting of nothing, without actually tasting of nothing, as you can possibly get.

It's surprisingly difficult to get decent vegetarian sausages. One of the supermarkets, possibly Asda, used to have a nice range of own-brand Lincolnshire and Cumberland ones but they stopped making them a while back.

>>13199

How do you rate the Linda McCartney ones? I've noticed they seem to be very popular, though popular doesn't always mean good.

>>13200
I haven't had them in years. From what I can recall they're okay, but nothing to write home about. They've got a distinct taste, which isn't really meat-like; they're quite nice in a sausage butty with some sauce but, in my opinion, they don't really 'go' as part of a meal that you'd typically have had a sausage with. They remind me a bit of the ones you can make yourself with Sosmix.

Today I have tried Naanster's balti chicken filled naan, because it was reduced when I went to Co-op yesterday.

The naan bread was slightly soggy from being microwaved and felt rather glutenous. It also had an overpowering amount of nigella seeds. The filling was pleasant enough but there wasn't enough of it, particularly the chicken.

4.5/10.

Crap OP.

>>13200>>13201
There are actually four different varieties of Linda McCartney sausages. The Red Onion and Rosemary is the best one I think, while the Chorizo version should be avoided like the plague.

>>13202

>nigella seeds.

Did anyone else get a little bit randy reading this?

>>13205

My local Fultons Foods sells Cauldron falafel burgers 59p per pack or two packs for £1. They're like a falafel in burger form. They're really nice, unlike their other burgers.

Today I have tried the Kashmiri size pizza from Co-op's new vegan range, Gro.

The pizza is topped with MozzaRisella, which is a cheese alternative derived from brown rice milk, spiced cauliflower and chili peppers, not that it really matters because the toppings are completely overwhelmed by the sauce. You're basically eating dough which tastes of chip shop curry sauce with a little bit of heat added. It could do with a little more texture and susbtance but it wasn't too bad.

>>13222
It's a nice photograph but it does look like someone basically jizzed the cheese on.

I appreciate your review - have not yet tried enough of the new Co-op stuff.

>>13223
I don't really see what the point of the rice cheese was. It didn't add anything apart from, like you say, making it look like someone had spaffed all over the pizza; certainly nothing in terms of flavour.

I've picked up a few Rustlers vegetarian burgers so that's likely to be my next review.

I had a vegan pizza with vegan mozzarella in a pub. I didn't really notice the mozzarella as the whole thing was piled high with rocket for some reason but it was pretty good. £11 which is what you'd probably pay for a pizza delivery which is weird considering it was a London high street pub where all the alcoholic drinks start at £5

>>13194

Arrr, you have a woman's hands!

>>13224
>I've picked up a few Rustlers vegetarian burgers so that's likely to be my next review.

It wasn't too bad, actually. I mean, you know what you're getting with a Rustlers burger. It could have done with a bit less coriander and a bit more mango chutney but it did the job. If I had another one I'd probably add in a slice of cheese as a topping.

What I tried: Morrisons vegetable sushi selection.

What I thought: "I should have just gone for a packet of crisps instead."

>>13228
The ones you get from Lidl are ok. You get a bigger pack for less money, and the meal itself is completely identical, I think they're from the same factory. But the mainstream supermarkets are just taking the piss, the prices are silly for the amount of food you get, those small packs like you've pictured have less food than there is plastic packaging.

>>13228
I used to pick up the M&S ones on my way home quite a lot. I liked them, but the soft cheese rolls are just rubbish, a terrible mix of textures.

>>13231
It didn't take long for supermarkets to fuck up sushi did it? It's just rice and fish. I JUST WANT RICE AND FISH.

>>13232

Supermarket sushi is already fucked up from a purist or authenticity standpoint. I still like it but it's very much its own thing when compared to the fresh stuff.

Anyway, my mum likes the duck and chicken sushi packs, so at least we can agree she's fucking mental.

>>13233
> my mum likes the duck and chicken
more like dick and chucken IYKWIM.

>>13234

SMELLS LIKE FISH
LOOKS LIKE CHICKEN
GIVE IT A LICK
AND STICK YOUR DICK IN

Thanks grandad.

>>13234

She probably does, she's been single for a while though if anyone's interested.

The 'Ultimate' burger is Quorn's attempt at making a so-called bleeding burger through the use of beetroot. It has to be the worst veggie burger I have ever eaten; I couldn't even finish it and I'll eat almost any old shite. I can't put my finger on precisely what it tasted of. Metallic? Cocoa powder? I don't know but it was certainly cheap and nasty (without actually being that cheap).

>>13238

The attempts to mirror meat items always just bore me anyway, but it seems like a fundamental misunderstanding of why people like rare burgers to do something like this.

I can't wait for the tide to shift enough in veggie land that we start to see innovation over replication.

>>13238
BeyondMeat is the only good one. Sell them Tesco's at the end of the steak section.

>>13240

Beyond Meat isn't bad but given that it's basically reshaped dog food I find myself wondering if I should save myself a shitload of money by eating dog food instead. I've seen people eating dog food on telly so I know it's a possibility, apparently the quality assurance people in dog food factories get paid good money to chow down on Chum's, but I've yet to bring myself to do it.

I ate: a Rustlers Breakfast aka the imitation McMuffin.

What's in it: it's the same kind of patty as their burgers, but in a weirdly plastic-lumpy muffin with fake cheese and a sachet of jam.

What it tasted like: first mouthful confirmed that it's a Rustlers burger alright. I usually regret these thing. However the taste improved after that mouthful and by the end I was smiling a surprised smile, much like the meticulously-groomed young chap in the OP.

Would, and will, eat again, until they replace it with something even less edible.

>>13241

I don't think dog food is plant based.

>>13243
A lot of it's rice, if I recall correctly.

>>13244
Usually bulked out with rice or whatever sort of grain is going cheapest.
If you have a dog shitting everywhere chances are it's got gluten intolerance.

>>13245 My boy's currently on this, cos he's a fatty after having his balls off:
Composition: Freshly Prepared Duck (29%), Sweet Potato, Freshly Prepared Wild Boar (15%), Dried Duck (14%), Chick Pea Flour, Tapioca, Duck Stock (2%), Tomato Pomace, Minerals, Vitamins, Yucca, Glucosamine (175 mg/kg), Methylsulfonylmethane (175 mg/kg), Chondroitin Sulphate (125 mg/kg), Dried Apple, Carrot Flakes, Lovage Powder, Seaweed Meal, Dried Cranberry, Aniseed and Fenugreek, Camomile Powder, Burdock Root Powder, Peppermint, Dandelion Herb, Thyme, Marjoram, Oregano, Parsley, Sage

Tastes OK. Probably better than Rustlers.

He also gets frozen chicken wings & drumsticks, which I choose not to eat raw, but they're Tesco own-brand stuff, so probably not actually toxic.

>>13242
>fully traceable to the farm of origin

Isn't that a legal requirement?

>>13246
Fucking hell, your dog's eating better than the vegans in this thread.

I tried the bottled SARAH MILLICAN'S SQUELCHY FANNY CUSTARD they sell in some supermarkets. The mouth feel wasn't very nice, and it was meant to be vanilla flavour but tasted like how Play Dough smells, but it did fill me up so it did its job. I don't think I could have it three times a day every day, but it wasn't awful.

The other night I was in Asda, and had a craving for biscuity goodness of the type that can only be cured with a good pack of chocolate HobNobs. However, there was a 50% off offer on said HobNobs, rather understandably resulting the entire lot being sold out. So I was forced to instead, choose the Asda own-brand equivalent, out of desperation.

They are not good. I got the chocolate variety, not the ones pictured, but it does not improve their prospects. Their crucial flaw is lacking the malty, caramely warmth and aftertaste of a proper HobNob- Instead it tastes like a cross between a digestive, some cold rolled oats, and a dash of sawdust.

Avoid, even ate the bargain price of 40-odd pence.

>>13248
Is this some new wordfilter for soy milk or SARAH MILLICAN'S SQUELCHY FANNY CUSTARD/SARAH MILLICAN'S SQUELCHY FANNY CUSTARD?

>>13250

Almond milk? Coconut milk?

>>13250

SARAH MILLICAN'S SQUELCHY FANNY CUSTARD?

>>13252

I bet it's SARAH MILLICAN'S SQUELCHY FANNY CUSTARD.

Nice cold, ice cold SARAH MILLICAN'S SQUELCHY FANNY CUSTARD (?)

>>13260

Please stop, I'm getting unbearably horny.

>>13261

>>13262

>>13261

>>13262

So many guilty wanks to this one.

>>13265

Have you tried SARAH MILLICAN'S SQUELCHY FANNY CUSTARD yet?

God, Sarah Millican is gorgeous but her reliance on toilet humour is a real turn off. I'd still eat her arse, though, no guilt about it.

I've finally got around to trying the No Chick Strips from Iceland's vegan range. A lot of brands that try to replicate the texture of chicken with layers of layers of hydrated soya protein fuck it horribly by making it too chewy or too watery but these were spot on. In fact, they might be the best veggie chicken I've tried but they should be at that price.

>>13270
No Bull and No Porkies are reasonably witty. I would've gone with No Clucks Given for the chicken, though.

>>13270
Why would you do this to yourself?

I've tried the veggie Richmond sausages again; they are markedly better fried than cooked. They went rather nicely in a hot dog bun with fried onions and ketchup but their flavour isn't strong enough for something like a 'meat and veg' meal.

>>13282
I might try them again in that case as I am looking for a reliable hot dog sausage.

>>13282

Veggie sausages are rarely anything more than a lump of hot texture to slather in ketchup.

Today I've tried sausages by the Meatless Farm Company as these were on offer in Sainsbury's from £2.50 to £2.

Every review on the Sainsbury's website is either 1 star or 5 star so they're either very polarising or people from Meatless Farm Company are posting fake 5 star ratings so it doesn't look so bad. I'd give them 1½ out of 5 if I was feeling generous.

It's literally Sosmix that they've pre-prepared and dressed up in nice packaging. They're laughing all the way to the bank.

>>13285
What is it you think large companies normally do with their products, exactly?

>>13286
Off the top of my head I can't think of another company that does this. If I bought Maryland cookies I wouldn't have expected them to be made by getting one of those packets of Betty Crocker baking mixture where you just need to add an egg and oil before popping them in the oven. Their sausages are indistinguishable from Sosmix.

>>13285
Richmonds meatless are probably the best I've had, close tie with Linda's veggie sausages

>>13285
>It's literally Sosmix that they've pre-prepared and dressed up in nice packaging.

It probably tastes the same but it isn't, the ingredients are quite different.

You have a point despite the inappropriate use of the word "literally".
Most of the common vegan protein sources are pretty cheap compared to meat, companies like quorn put a mountain of effort into their recipes to try and get their products as close to the real thing as possible and can justify the price, but the market is open for companies like that to charge massively inflated prices on processed wheat&soy tubes.

>>13289
It tastes exactly the same. It smells exactly the same. It looks exactly the same. It's got the same texture and sloppiness. It's fucking Sosmix.

>>13289
>mountain of effort into their recipes to try and get their products as close to the real thing as possible

This to me highlights the absurdity of the whole exercise. It is like a person who keeps telling you they are over their ex even when they are with a new person, people who buy these things and say you 'you can't tell the difference' know that there is a difference and miss the difference that's why they are comparing.

It is pretending to be something it isn't and consequently it can never be it or as good at being it. I'm sure the mushrooms or soy or whey they used might taste wonderful on it's own terms but I wouldn't know because I only ever find these things when they are pretending to be pork or chicken, which they definitely aren't.


If you brought me chicken and told me it tastes just like tofu I'd end up hating chicken.

>>13306

The point of the "exercise" is to create something that scratches the itch for eating meat while not using animal products for whatever reason. It would only be absurd if they were claiming to hate ("be over") the taste of meat while also trying to replicate it.

>>13307

That is the absurd argument of someone who is making a choice they don't actually like and defines them self as being counter to the mainstream rather than actually embracing the implications of the choice they have made.

If Vicars started proclaiming the virtues of pegging between married couples 'as a way to scratches the itch for sodomy while not being homosexual for whatever reason' you would think they were off their rocker.

You don't see jews buying chicken flavoured to taste like pig.

>whatever reason

The whatever is self-flagellating. Meat is sinful so you deny it but you can't control your urges for it. In a generation rolling around in animal blood will be a major kink mark my words.

(A good day to you Sir!)

>>13308

You're an idiot.

>>13308

What the fuck are you on about? Most vegetarians/vegans are doing it for ethical reasons, and even if you believe they're doing it to be trendy, that still doesn't invalidate still wanting to eat something that reminds them of bacon - if anything, it strengthens that argument.

>You don't see jews buying chicken flavoured to taste like pig.

How have you never heard of turkey bacon? How sheltered are you?

>>13308
What the fuck did I just read, you absolute mentalist.

>>13308
> You don't see jews buying chicken flavoured to taste like pig.

You're wrong on that at least. Fake bacon is a big thing in Israel as is vegan cheese.

Considering the success of the collaboration between Quorn and Greggs this was a bit of a let down. Vegan pastry has a tendency to be fragile and this broke apart at the slightest touch. The filling is also inferior to the Greggs roll.

Overall it's about on par with other chilled sausage rolls, but it was a keen reminder that I just want Greggs to open up again.

>>13314
I tried one of those and thought exactly the same - I wondered if its because the Greggs one are always served hot and would actually taste the same cold.

>>13315

>because the Greggs one are always served hot

What kind of posh fucking Greggs do you go to that you get hot food every time?

>>13316

A busy one.

>>13317
Exactly that. Maybe >>13316 lives in a posh area and his Greggs are always empty - both of the ones I frequent usually have a queue going out the door.

>>13317>>13318

The closet Greggs to me is on a high street notable for its high rate of stabbings and the other one I frequent is in an international airport, they're both busy but it's 50/50 on whether I get a hot or room temperature pasty.

>>13317>>13318
Will this be how society ends? Thousands of people descending on Greggs at once when they reopen.

>>13319
>it's 50/50 on whether I get a hot or room temperature pasty

How awful for you - I feel your pain. I wish I could do something, what a lamentable state of affairs.

By now, surely, access to a fully functioning Greggs is a basic human right?

Today I have tried the Morrisons vegan pasty. These are usually £3 for 2 but I picked them up as they were reduced.

My only really complaint is that there wasn't enough filling so it was slightly overwhelmed by the pastry and I'd have liked there to have been more of the 'meat' and the swede. If the choice was between this and the Quorn steak bake from Greggs then it would be the pasty by a mile. It's not a brilliant pasty, but it's no worse than what else you can pick up from a supermarket.

OH MY GOODNESS

>>13337

I can't wait to see more obese vegetarians.

>>13338
I know plenty. Veggie food doesn't fill you like a steak does, so they have a lot of chocolate.

>>13339

Just about every veggie I've ever known is fat and pasty. I've always found it dead strange.

Whatever Big Veg would have us believe, a vegetarian diet definitely doesn't necessarily mean a healthy diet.

>>13340
One of my friends went vegan but all she ate was salad and processed crap, which resulted in her turning slightly yellow and her hair thinning. She started eating eggs and cheese again to get some actual protein in her diet.

I guess it's no surprise if you eat like shit before turning vegan that you still eat like shit afterwards.

>>13339
Pulses are very filling, and any remotely sensible vegetarian diet will include stacks of them.

>>13341
>processed crap
Meaningless.

>>13339

Tons of junk food is vegetarian (crisps, plenty of sweets, cakes, all sorts) so going veggie won't fix your diet if it's shit already but it's wrong to say vegetarian food isn't filling.
I mostly eat the same as a vegetarian as I did when I ate meat as I'd learnt to cook frugally as a student and used tons of pulses and things to fill out meals already, so removing the meat component just left me with practically the same dish minus a bit of cheap chicken that, while quite nice, I didn't miss all that much.
Veggie bolognese, lasagna, chilli, curries etc. all fill me up just as well as the meaty versions and although veggie stuff obviously lacks the centrepiece meat cuts other types of meals aren't lacking. Plus being veggie means I still have tons of eggs, cheese and too much butter.

Found a Papa John's menu in my letterbox so I figured I'd order a pizza for the first time in two years. Pizza's ok, pretty edible, but the tomato sauce is much too sweet and doesn't have that fresh tomatoey taste good sauce should have. Wouldn't order from them again.

>>13314
>Overall it's about on par with other chilled sausage rolls, but it was a keen reminder that I just want Greggs to open up again.

I'm going to go out and say it, the best sausage roll is when you get a couple from a multi-pack and warm them up in the oven or microwave. Maybe it just reminds me of being left in the house as a teenager while my parents went somewhere for the weekend.

That or those big ones you get at Morrisons if you don't mind the mess.

>>13344
I don't see the point in takeaway pizza, unless you're pissed and getting a filthy one with doner meat on it. Otherwise you might as well just get a Chicago Town one.

>>13345
When my parents used to drag me around Asda they'd usually let me get something, which tended to be either their mini sausage rolls with mustard seeds in or their mini brunch pasties. Lovely they were.

>>13346
>I don't see the point in takeaway pizza

Someone just bought round one of those monster Costco takeaway pizzas they sell by the door. One of the largest things I have ever seen; I also doubt the merits of takeaway pizza generally but these things are next level.

>>13346
Not him but I get a takeaway pizza once a month when I've had a bad day. The price is indeed ridiculous but you're essentially paying to not do the washing up and it does cheer me up on some level.

I'd say I prefer a supermarket brand Hawaiian compared to Chicago Town. If you're eating a pizza to yourself then it's a bit too greasy for me.

>>13344

Papa John's is my favourite of the big chains, I know what you mean about the sauce, but it's still better than most to me.
The most important thing to me on delivered pizza is the crust, and I think they do an excellent thin one.

I basically see actual pizza and takeaway pizza as two different foods, and set my expectations accordingly.

Pizza hut is actually unpalatable to me, though. The sauce tastes burned and it's just a bit rank in general - I've avoided them long enough to recall the details of why they were so disgusting.

>>13347

Really feels odd going to Costco and not walking out with a slice or two.

I read once one of their slices is about 700 calories - I can well believe it.

>>13349
Pizza Hut is actually my favourite because you can order extra cheese. You're paying £1 for a bit of cheese but it's pizza on the next level.

>>13351
If you want a cheesy pizza I recommend the takeaway ones from the Asda cafe. It's £6. 50 for a 14" margherita pizza.

https://www.just-eat.co.uk/takeaway/brands/asda

>>13352
It never occurred to me before that the supermarkets could properly disrupt takeaways like that. Interesting.

>>13353
If you've got a 24 hour supermarket and a kitchen where you're probably not serving people dining in after 6pm it makes a lot of sense to offer a pizza takeaway in the evening.

>>13352
Do they use the pizzas from the deli, or are they to a similar standard? I absolutely love those pizzas, a wink and a smile gets an extra handful of spicy beef/olives for no extra if you're nice and they're nice.

>>13355
I haven't had a deli pizza in a while, but the bases are a bit thicker and they do put shitloads of cheese on.

When I used to work for the NHS there was an old woman who'd give me an extra rasher of bacon for a bit of smooth talking.

>>13354
Sadly my local store knocks off their delivery at 5pm.

Today I have tried Iceland's 'super' stuffed base cheese pizza. If you've ever wondered whether a pizza would taste better with red cheddar sauce inside the base I can safely say the answer is 'no'.

>>13358

What even is red cheddar?

>>13359
It's usually red leicester, but I think calling it cheddar is more marketable. At least I didn't go for this abomination.

>>13360

That's the most council thing I've seen since my mam bought me "wotsit flavour" potato croquettes from a local shop that was literally just two aisles of chest freezers and one aisle of crisps and pop.

>>13361
Don't talk shit about Jack Fulton's.

>>13362

This wasn't even Fulton's, it was a local knock off. I just googled it and it still exists. Incredible.

>>13361
When I go to Iceland it's very rare I'll actually buy anything frozen, unless some of their veggie range is on offer. Their bloomer bread is excellent and if you've got one of their larger Food Warehouses nearby then they've got a decent range of fruit and veg, nice naan bread and a few decent offers on; today they've got trays with 12 tins of KTC chopped tomatoes for £3.20 so I picked up some of those and a 32 pack of Cushelle for a tenner.

>>13360
I like the burgery bursting base.

I haven't tried anything else by Vivera but their plant shawarma kebab is probably my favourite meat alternative. At the moment I like it best mixed with udon noodles.

>>13395
Do you fry the udon or in a soup?

>>13396
Fried, usually with mushrooms, onion and pepper.

>>13395

I was really impressed by this stuff too.

>>13395

I might give this a try. I used to love cooking, but since I got with my current missus I've done very little of it thanks to the fact she's both fussy and a veggie.

None of the stuff I used to like making works quite as well with meat substitutes, because most of it revolved around the way meat reacts to different cooking techniques; and even my signature lasagne is no good because it rested on my secret pork/beef mixture*.

She doesn't even like mushrooms so I've no idea where to start sometimes.

*Ready to be triggered as fuck, cheflads?

The secret was squeezing the filling out of Richmond sausages for the pork component.

Today I have tried Naked Glory's smoky BBQ tenderstips. I was a bit worried they'd be all style and no substance, like when I tried Oumph!, but the texture was fine and they tasted alright. I'd get these again.

>>13399
Veggie mince ranges from awful to alright, but never good. If you're not careful it can easily overpower the flavour of a sauce once it's mixed in. My top tip is to avoid Quorn or Tesco's own brand frozen mince as they are the worst. Very fine dehydrated soya mince is good at absorbing flavours.

https://www.tesco.com/groceries/en-GB/products/260261027

I prefer a bastardised dish that is a mixture between vegetable lasagna and spinach and ricotta cannelloni (>>12389).

>>13399


I've heard of americans using whatever 'hot/sweet italian' sausage is when they're making up ground meats for their bolognese and lasagna - that doesn't sound so far removed.

Today I have tried Little Willies by The Vegetarian Butcher. They're quite intense and they're probably the best veggie sausages I've had in some time but they should be at that price, especially considering how thin they are.

I've also recently tried a couple of different types of veggie sausages by Heck; still shite.

>>13421
Agree on the Heck ones - consistently disappointing. I presume the only way they have grown so fast is because of the meat versions/the cool name.

>>13422 Their meat ones seem to have gone to shit recently. As a wheat-dodger they used to be great, but they've completely fucked the skins in the last few months.

>>13422
>I presume the only way they have grown so fast is because of the meat versions/the cool name.

And the football shirts.

There seems to be some kind of burger patty shortage at the supermarket so I had to buy the expensive ones. It all looked so promising, massive and full of saturated fat that barely shrunk in the pan.

But they're shit. Biting into one is like eating a ripe peach in terms of juices but entirely it's flavourless. I don't get how you can fuck up so paradoxically unless they're absolutely packing breadcrumbs in and then drizzling lard over the top. Before you Cheflads bully me, I only bought them as a compromise to spending £20+ on a takeaway.

>>13425
I've never understood the point of using prime cuts for things like burgers.
When you're mincing it and mixing in binders, you get far more texture and flavour from tougher cuts, even before you start adding any seasoning.

>>13425

I always put a good helping of salt and pepper on burgers before I fry them, and in the end they're so covered in barbecue sauce, onion and fuckloads of gooey edam that you don't really taste the beef so much either way.

I have a distinct memory of the sort of burgers I used to have at my auntie's house when I was a kid, where I'd just have them on their own on a plate with some chips and beans. They were delicious. I've never found anything that compares, in shops or restaurants or anywhere else. They had a specific, rich, almost creamy taste.

>>13427

Your uncle made those, your aunt just gave him a hand in the kitchen.

>>13427
The best burgers I've ever had were lamb burgers that my dad used to grill for me when I came home for school dinners, usually served with waffles.

>>13426
Most catering and takeaway, indeed the best tasting, best cooking burgers have a very interesting mix of fats, heart meat and other cheaper cuts. That's where the flavour and juiciness is burgerlads, it's in the heart. Burgers and sausages should never be the "prime cuts" as there's generally no fat in them and no exercise on those muscles to add character.

I might've said something about the "head to tail" cuisine thing before on here, the same food movement that's against an industrial usage of offal meat in processed products, and wholeheartedly against mechanically recovered meat that at least helps feed the nation via chicken nuggets. I despise that movement - not for what it stands for, but for the clear class-based snobby hypocrisy of it, don't use that offal meat, just in case twig-botherers can have an ironic meal of liver and kidneys to impress the area media marketing communicator. They'd hate it otherwise. Yuck, this burger has....heart in it! Ewwww! I'd like to talk to the manager please. Get to fuck. [/rant]

I lived off roasted lamb hearts at uni, I could get 4 for £1.20, stuffed them with fried onion, garlic, herbs and rice. I now mix the meat part of my diet between processed crap and good sausages from the butcher, I've recently gotten pre-prepared tripe and some cow bones, as I'm a Northern weirdo who likes it and makes the most lovely Polish style tripe soup from it.

>>13430
My mate once cooked me beef heart when I went to visit him and I thought he was taking the piss at first but it was quite nice - rather like thin slices of rump steak. Not something I'd wax lyrical about but I liked it enough. The heart really isn't something we should be squeamish about anyway since it's just muscle. I might complain if I found a stray valve in there mind.

Burgers really live and die on their fat content, to me. 20% fat from anywhere on the animal will work, but the traditional shoulder and top/silverside blend you can't really go wrong with.

While I don't doubt a bit of offal in there for flavour is pretty good, I question the claim that it is common practice at any level of the industry. The "best" burger to me is nothing but minced beef, salt and pepper. Binders change the texture too much and again, with 20% fat, the flavour is always going to be there.

Those roadside burger vans have a handy Campylobacter Factor Rating. The more England flags they have, the higher the chance of shits and fever.

>>13430
Lamb hearts were fun the first time I came across them, I didn't realise "heart strings" wasn't just a lovely harp-adjacent aphorism.

>>13433

Food poisoning is a lot rarer than people think.

The usual suspect is e. coli, because it's a hardy little bastard, but things like camp and salmonella are actually vanishingly rare these days. Camp is so piss weak and fussy of an organism that we often fail to grow it in the lab under ideal conditions, so unless you're licking a roadkill pigeon carcass I really struggle to imagine how people manage to become infected with it.

This is why I always go with 1 star hygeine rating takeaways. All the built up grease on the hotplate they haven't wiped down in 16 years is what gives it the flavour.

>>13432

>I question the claim that it is common practice at any level of the industry

Not in the consumer market, but heart is a very common ingredient in catering products. A beef burger patty is only required to contain 62% meat and an "economy burger" can contain as little as 47% meat.

https://www.legislation.gov.uk/uksi/2014/3001/schedule/1/made

>>13439 isn't heart 'meat'? I mean, it's pretty meaty. I'd assumed that non-meat was mostly gonads, eyeballs, brains and thymus...
Pretty sure that ringpiece counts as meat?

>>13440
Fairly sure it's offal

>>13439

I can't say I've ever come across a catering burger full of heart, but then again, I've never worked in a food van. My assumption would be that the non-meat portion would be mostly bread crumbs, which are cheaper even than heart or other offal.

I'm not trying to say I don't believe you, I'm sure you're right, I'm just curious as to where you've been that this is so common.

>>13445

Go into any cash and carry, find the cheapest box of burgers and have a look at the ingredients list. Odds are that beef heart is fairly high up the list. Rusk is an important bulking agent, but you can't use nearly as much as you could in a sausage without ruining the texture. The really cheap non-halal burgers include a fair amount of pork and mechanically reclaimed chicken.

http://www.royevansandsons.co.uk/cms/plugins/product_store/uploads/product_pdfs/7361424783092TW54ec76f4036a9penny-lane-plf-economy-burger-issue-11.pdf

https://www.brake.co.uk/meat-poultry/frozen-processed-meat/burgers-grills/fast-food-burgers/paragon-quality-foods-ltd-basics-economy-burgers-113g/p/128359

>>13456
7. All finished products are check weighed and metal detected to the following
tolerances:
 Ferrous 2.50mm
 Non Ferrous 2.80mm
 Stainless Steel 4.00mm

Contains no stainless steel shards larger than 4mm. Tasty.
I'm guessing that the high heart content makes for those delightfully rubbery burgers you get.

>>13457

There's a weird sub-industry for metal detectable products, specifically for the food processing industry.

>>13436
>Camp is so piss weak and fussy of an organism that we often fail to grow it in the lab under ideal conditions, so unless you're licking a roadkill pigeon carcass I really struggle to imagine how people manage to become infected with it.

I think the main culprit (apart from people not washing their hands and equipment after handling raw meat), is those people who insist that a chicken has to be washed under the tap before you cook it.

>>13458
Fucking hell, that image gives me flashbacks of working in a sandwich factory. I guess these places all pretty much use the same trays, overalls and tables. They're weird places, literally everything is on wheels. And it's cold.

>>13462

All food industry/catering stuff is the same brushed stainless steel stuff from restaurants to McDonalds to production lines.

Only real difference is in uniforms, and frequency of getting shouted at.

>>13464

Would people think I was a mentalist if I fitted my home kitchen with stainless steel tables? They're really good.

>>13465
No. The one challenge with steel/glass tables is that they are very uncomfortable to sit at though. By all means use them for worktops, but metal/glass is much too cold for your arms to rest on. It's why all those people who have fancy glass desks at work are actually twats, they're almost impossible to sit and type at.

>>13461
There were some people on Twitter (I think black Twitter) who were laughing at people who wash their rice.

I don't get it. If I'm eating it plain, I wash my rice? It comes covered in shit which makes it taste bitter.

>>13467

You're absolutely supposed to wash (uncooked) rice, any Asian person would think you were mental if you skipped that step.

Today I have tried Aldi's vegan steak bake.

It was missing a kick, possibly a bit of black pepper would have done the trick, so it was a bit like eating slightly bland gravy lava with barely discernable chunks of soya protein and onion in it. The filling isn't evenly distributed so around a third of the pasty is biting into hollow pastry.

>>13501
I think I had a Gregg's vegan steak bake before lockdown and I didn't like it. Too much onion compared to a normal steak bake. Onion is grim.

>>13502
I reviewed that before, probably in a different thread. I wasn't keen on it, although I'd rate it higher than the Aldi one, but I wasn't overly surprised by this as Quorn mince, especially the kind they use in ready meals, is shite.

It looks like Aldi have changed their vegan sausage rolls so hopefully not for the worse as I quite liked them.

Got a 17p reduced meat free sausage roll from the Asda hot counter.

It was a bit like a warm savoury nutri-grain bar.

>>13504

>17p reduced meat free sausage roll

there is something about those words that is suprisingly difficult to parse.

>>13505
Needs a comma after reduced.

>>13506
I'd have put it after sausage; let it roll down the hot counter.

>>13507

Between meat and free for me.

I want my cheep meat and my bonus sausage roll. None of that vegan muck for me thanks!

Apologies lads, yesterday was my first caffiene-free day and I couldn't really think straight.

I'll rephrase:

Got 17 reduced sausage counter p free meat from hot Asda counter roll.

Gourmet ketchup apparently means mixing burger relish with shitloads of cider vinegar.

>>13510
How is that in the least bit gourmet? We need some poor volunteer to do a taste and report.

>>13510
I bought some of this one as it was the only ketchup that hadn't been panic-bought out at the time. It tastes nothing like ketchup, it's fucking bolognese.

>>13512
That is disappointing - I have found a lot of their food to be very good.

Picture related. I have to limit them to one a week for lunch - fail most of the time.

Aldi's own brand cream crackers are fucking shite.

Considering this is the winning combination of pastry, cheese and baked beans this was a disappointment. Almost every mouthful tasted of red pepper, which they'd snuck in there.

Ginsters always seems to be a bit of a let down.

Stumbled across this in my local Turkish sklep. A very pleasant reminder of what IPAs used to taste like 10-15 years ago, before the invasion of citrusy American hops and the trend of "over hopping" pioneered by the Americans, whose influence now pollutes the supermarket shelves. They took this from us!We took this from ourselves!

>>13512
I got some Leon Korean style vegan mayo, and it was grim. It wasn't cheap, but it tasted like how fermented straw smells.

>>13565
Should have got some Polski mayo from Lidl during Slav week.

Yesterday I had Aldi's vegan bacon pieces and mushroom barbecue pizza. It's quite similar to the Dr Oetker Quorn pizza, except with added peppers, barbecue sauce and the base isn't as nice. I'm not sure if I'd get it again.

Eating spicy peanuts again. Think I ate three packets of them yesterday. They're so fucking good.

>>13572
It'll always be KP dry roasted peanuts for me.

>>13573
You haven't tried these.

Today I have tried Co-op's vegan katsu curry.

The jasmine rice was gloopy before it was cooked and wasn't even remotely fragrant. The soya goujons were almost entirely coating, with an incredibly meagre slice of soya within. The curry sauce was also tinged with disappointment.

>>13578
I have been disappointed with all of the Co-op's attempt at vegan food. For such a sound organisation, I would have thought they were better.

>>13579
I've heard that their incredible burgers are nice, but everything I've tried has been subpar.

>>13578
>ping meal
>disappointing

Mental, that.

>>13581
>ping

What?

>>13581
>ping meal

Can't say I've ever heard them called that before. Is that a local term or something the Yoot use?

>>13583
Noot noot, motherfucker.

>>13582
Guessing he means a microwave meal.

>>13583
The welsh name for a microwave is "popty ping", yes it is so I'm guessing they've shortened it to just ping now.

>>13585
The goujons were cooked in the oven, as per the instructions, so there's no real excuse for them being pants.

Today I have tried Tofoo sage and onion sizzlers, sausages to me and you. The tagline is 'tofu with taste' but this is a grave misnomer; there was a vague hint of sage and onion but it was largely eating nothingness. The texture had no integrity and it falls apart in your mouth the moment you bite into it.

Usual price is £3 for 4 sausages in Waitrose, but Co-op sometimes have them on offer for £2.50.

>>13671
Appreciate this review. They make pretty good plain/smoked tofu, it must be said - particularly if you press it properly. I don't particularly love their other products that I've tried though.

Also, there is a lot of competition in the vegan sausage market now! Beyond Meat and Linda McCartney are still my go-to for sausages.

>>13674
It was the first time I'd tried something by them that wasn't a block of tofu and I won't be in a rush to try some more.

I still need to try Beyond Meat and Moving Mountains. The best veggie sausages I've had recently are from Morrisons and Little Willies.

>>13678
>Beyond Meat

Taste-wise, strongly recommend. It's in the meat aisle in Tesco's, which is a bit confusing. The burgers are excellent!

The sausages are a little bit too rich for me, can only eat one, but still good. Pricey though; better to buy in bulk from Costco but still expensive.

I've lapsed a bit in my meatlessness lately, eating chicken and sell-by-date-reduced-price meat but I do appreciate you all posting these so I know what to look for.

>>13671
>Usual price is £3 for 4 sausages

And I bet they try and sell themselves as ethical.

CYLINDRICAL TUBES OF SEASONED RECONSTITUTED MUSHROOM WITH THE ODD LENTIL MIXED IN FOR THE HELL OF IT.

>>13753
Sounds good to me.

>>13754
IT TASTES WEIRD AND THE TEXTURE IS WEIRD. THEY'RE WEIRD.

I've been into these lately, and they are peng AF, as I believe the kids would say.

They manage to achieve an impressively robust crunch, without the kind of splintering, and sticking in your gums like Doritos or Kettle Chips. The flavouring is an ideal level of spice intensity for a crisp- It's tangy and punchy enough to be moreish, without building too much of a serious heat if you indulge in an extended munch. They'd be an excellent accompaniment to a light alcoholic beverage, but you don't feel compelled to quench your thirst during eating. The back of the pack appears to recommend salsa, but honestly I don't see it being necessary, nor particularly enhancing the experience.

Overall I would recommend these if you are shopping for a large bag of crisps in the £1-£2 segment. A year ago they could be found on introductory offers, but now you will have to keep your eye out for the weekly rotation to catch them for £1. I daresay they may even have supplanted the Walker's Sensation Peking Spare Rib Oriental Cracker as my premium crisp of choice.

>>13763
>as I believe the kids would say
I don't think they would but we're all old too so that's okay.

>>13763

Nothing can beat the Mumbai Sensations Streetmix (before they took the coriander cashews out, the bastards).

Had two of these for breakfast today (no digestives left), first time trying them.

I was very impressed. They aren't exactly the same recipe as a Greggs vegan roll, which I am missing terribly to be honest - slightly less fat in the pastry, but still very good indeed; flaky and light. The sausage part could do with a touch more filling, but overall, good eating.

>>13777
I've been a bit disappointed by what I've tried in the green cuisine range. If I want sausage rolls then my local Farmfoods does a pack of 6 Linda McCartney ones for 69p.

>>13778
>69p

That's an amazing price - sadly don't have a Farmfoods anywhere near me.

>>13779
They were £1 each but they usually reduce them when they're trying to clear stock; they did the same with Quorn chicken and leek pies not too long ago as well.

>>13778

I found the falafel to be acceptable. It tastes a bit bland despite the delicious smell, but that is typical with falafel anyway (I imagine fresh falafel is better).

>>13781
> fresh falafel

Oh man - in the past couple of years I have actually tried freshly made/cooked falafel, served hot in a wrap, quite a lot like a kebab - they are like NIGHT AND DAY compared to the things you find in the chilled cabinet or buy like this - I hope you get to try them, the ones we buy like this are almost a crime by comparison.

>>13781>>13782
I had a falafel burger somewhere in London just over a decade ago. I haven't been able to find one that nice since.

Asda are doing 5 for £5 on green cuisine and a few other things.

https://groceries.asda.com/promotion/5-for-5/ls90414

They're like crinkle cut crisps, but in chip form. They're a lot nicer than I expected they'd be.

Today I have tried the Goodfellas falafel pizza. Falafel, spinach, pepper and onions with a 'houmous drizzle' on top of a spicy tomato sauce. It doesn't really taste of anything distinctly; it's just a warm and slightly pleasant spicy mush.

>>13810
I've tried those and was also disappointed. Pleasant spicy mush is about right.

The Pizza Express ones are better, but at five pounds for something quite small, not sparkling good value; they're not frozen with. I must also say that Pizza Express in-restaurant vegan menu/pizzas are absolutely fantastic, but again a lot more expensive.

I don't understand vegan pizza. Can you not just have a pizza marinara?

>>13814
I accidentally had a vegan pizza from Pizza Hut, I didn't realise the pepperphoni pizza was vegan, and the "cheese" is one of the strangest things I've tasted in quite some time.

>>13814
Of course you can - and there are definitely some more elaborate pizza recipes that don't have any cheese.

But some of the vegan cheeses actually melt and have the right level of "goo" when cooked, now - particularly the Pizza Express in-restaurant ones (I suspect its a lot to do with their ovens, but also because the melting-cheese recipes are just getting a lot better).

HUH

I NEED A REPORT

>>13817

Alan Brazil is furious, but judging by the state of him he won't have to live with that anger for much longer.

https://www.standard.co.uk/news/uk/alan-brazil-boycott-fruit-pastilles-vegan-rowntrees-a4550841.html

>>13818
>the state of him

The fat cunt does look like he drinks custard for breakfast.

I don't get why he could be so upset about it - all they've done is substitute the gelatine for something else, I bet he couldn't blind taste the difference.

>>13819
>I don't get why he could be so upset about it
He considers veganism an insult to his politics or masculinity. That's all.