Working tomorrow, going to get pissed at a house party un the evening. Sunday will be spent doing fuck all.

This is why I never post in weekend threads. My life is pretty dull.

>>393618

>This is why I never post in weekend threads.

Liar.

I'm going to Legoland with one of my long-lost brothers and his missus tomorrow. The last time I was there 11 years ago I was with someone who kept touching the back of my head to stoke my wasp paranoia. It worked. Over and over.

A mate of mine got me a Beer Hawk box for my birthday, so I'll be working my way through that while I plug away at my thesis and a presentation I'm giving at a conference at the end of the month.

I'll be heading to Madrid for the conference, any britfa.gs got any recommendations for things to do while I'm there?

>>393621
Shag a Spanish bird. Get drunk. Steal the sun-loungers off the Germans.

>>393620

They used to have a serious wasp problem at Legoland, I'm not even winding you up. It was on the News at 10 it was so bad a few years ago. Hundreds of people, many obviously kids, got severely stung.

Have you checked to see if they've sorted it?

>>393622
I am the proud owner of an enormous orange towel with the word RESERVED on it. Rest assured, it will be on the best lounger in the hotel at 6am on the dot so no mucky krauts get it.

>>393624

I was in Gran Canaria a few weeks ago in a hotel that was frequented by about 30 percent Spanish, 60 percent Germans and less than 10 percent Brits.

There was a sign at the hotel pool that expressly forbade the reserving of pool s with towels. I guess they have had bad experiences in the past with Germans putting the towels down the minute they got out of bed in the morning. But the pool staff let some shit slide, because some of them did it anyway, although the sign was in Spanish, English AND German, and you had three or four of those same, somewhat large and unmissable signs all along the pool area.

-A giant explosion in China... and it hasn't been covered up... which is odd. It is a nuclear bomb I tell ya.
-Is it hot? Is it cold? No, it is both and grey and rainy.
-Ludditelad won't torrent anything but complains about intrusive adverts.
-A merciful lad deactivates his adblocker to let websites make money, only to realise how annoying ads are.
-A lad needs help on how to pee, maybe it is the same lad that needed help on how to apologise for being a cunt while driving.
-Another lad has a moan about how everyone who posts on this website is normal and not broken.
-Taking Valium and travelling to countries where you face firing squad for it? Sounds like a challenge one lad is up for.
-Autisticlad needs videos of people building things to calm him down.
-Mans on road.
-Immigrants don't depress wages, so let's replace all our doctors and nurses with them. What could go wrong?
-I will die for HRH the Queen. She is what holds this country together.
-Heath was a nonce.
-Amensty International wants to force women into sex-slavery... According to some fisherpersons and Hollywood A listers.
-We found out that Krautchan is .gs' granddad.
-The mods neatly categorise every post you have made under your IP address.
-There has been a lot of talk about adblocking and that this week lads. We need to step up our game.

>>393626
Glad to have you back, chroniclelad! Or glad you've picked up your game, shitterreplacementchroniclelad. Apparently, though, you missed off "- WORST WORDFILTER EVER"

>>393627

How is this even triggered? People say all the time and it never pops.

>>393628

Oh God...

>>393628

arm
man
pubi
ing Cross

.

The mods have gone mad.

>>393632
GODS < MODS

If the weathers nice I fancy a trip to somewhere like Rievaulx Abbey for a picnic.

Going from >>393631 to >>393634 in one reading has just made me crease up. Cheers >>393634­mate, I'm guffawing like a baddy in a Beano comic.

Less chairs, more stools

(I'll get my coat)

Working more or less all weekend, although on Sunday that just means having lunch with someone, unless I get a call of some sort.

>>393637

Oh, the joys of social care. One day, it's a buffet lunch with a entirely lucid and intelligent recluse and the next you're wiping the arses of the infirm.

>>393638

What really amazes me is live-in carers. I think it's commendable that you look after somebody who simply can't function on their own anymore, but I could never do it. Wiping somebody's arse or feeding and washing them 24 hours a day, having to deal with unpleasant things like loss of body function control, the lot. Not that I couldn't be arsed to do charity work; I've done plenty in my life. But not something of this magnitude.

I used to watch "Supersize vs Superskinny" on Channel 4, and what amazes me even more is that the NHS sends live-in carers into homes of super morbidly obese people who have gluttoned themselves to sperm whale proportions and who at 30 to 40 stone are little more than compact car-sized heaps of body fat with arms, legs and a head sticking out. Taking care of somebody like that surely is on another level still.

>>393642
Imagine what it's like to be that morbidly obese person, when your world has shrunk to the 4 walls of your living room and the seat of your sofa. To not even remember what it's like to go outside. To eat yourself into a cage.

The human mind is a fearsome thing.

>>393642
When people become useless and a drain with no further use in the future, they should be... Erm... How should I p[ut it? They should be sent to Valhalla.

>>393650
MARKED FOR MASS GLORY

Mixing drum and bass to Red Stripe along with my neighbour whose fence I finally jumped. He spent all of his mortgage to move to another city on coke which he pays with via BACS and is allegedly just posted through the letterbox. The man in the corner shop clearly thought and even commented that he thought my neighbour was insane. He is the most real human person I know. Neither of us have spoken to another person for 3 days; our companionship is mutual. I will miss him when he is gone.

>>393653
u wot

>>393654
We paint walls in underpasses and bridges together. He has now been picked up by the police three times; they will no longer just let him pay the fine and be released. His wife wants him to come back to being sensible. He built a dragonfly from rubbish and bits; I will probably take it from him when he goes because I said she was female. I made her eyes yellow with Joop. He made stir fry with too much sugar. My chair is still by the fence; it has a great muddy bootprint on it that I will need to retrieve. Tomorrow. Sometime.

Going to London, then Paris then Prague. Hooking up with a few peeps on the way but hopefully a quiet one Just so long as no-one drags me over the border into Poland then back home late next week. Lovverly stuff.

>>393658
You shouldn't do meth.

>>393653
>>393655
Is this what being on drugs is like?

>>393660

Depends on the drugs.

>>393642

A mate broke his neck while at uni (not by being a bellend, it was a very tragic accident) and I did respite care for him - this means doing three hour slots while the live-in could go and do summat.

Wasn't bad. Despite barely being able to move his arms he never let anyone wipe his arse, and the worse thing I ever had to do was re-attach a catheter tube. Aside fromt he fact that I was tripping balls on acid the first time it wasn't an issue.

For 15 quid an hour, and massive help on my dissertation (he was doing a Ma in the same subject and we disagreed on everything). TBH given the option of moving back to the UK and picking up an effectively zero hours, below minimum wage internship (which would be my initial option, I have checked, despite a decade of experience in my field), or doing live in care, well, I ain't coing back, but line in would be fine with me.

Key and Peele just showed up in Fargo and it's really thrown me. The 2014 series of course, I think if I saw them in the 90's one my mind would have broken. Terribly good show though, Fargo I mean. And Key and Peele I guess.

>>393642
I used to work at a charity shop and there one of my co-workers was in his mid 30s and had been taking care of his mother for a good 10 years. His mother died prior to him working there and of course he couldn't find a well paying job simply because of this. Job centre tried to say he should work as a carer but he said he couldn't because it's one thing caring for someone you actually care about and it's another caring for a stranger.

He had sacrificed his education for caring for his mother and his education itself made no difference in finding a job. He was a very happy going sort of person but there were rare times when he basically said that despite him loving his mother, he wouldn't do it if he had the choice. He more or less said that I should avoid getting in that situation. Fortunately for him he managed to find a paying job shortly before I left my stint at the charity shop but it was hardly something that took advantage of his education and his intelligence.

I was kind of shitting myself when my mam had got cataracts but she managed to get a successful operation done and her eye sight is so much better now. Long story short, as much as it hurts to say, being an unofficial carer can pretty much postpone your life and in the worst case ruin your life.

My weekend has been upgraded/downgraded depending on how you look at it. I will be working Sunday and there are "special considerations" in place nationally which will rule out any chance of a weekend unless I go out tonight. I will probably take most of Monday off as today was insanely busy.

>>393667

Fargo is the greatest thing I have seen in years. Can't wait for the second series, which is due out this winter, IIRC.

>>393668

>being an unofficial carer can pretty much postpone your life and in the worst case ruin your life

It is tough; having been in a similar situation, I guess the key thing is realising that no matter how much in need the person is that you are caring for, you too have a right to live your own life.

I've also seen it with a friend of mine; her dad had a work accident which left him paralysed from the waist down, and my friend's mum stood by him. Although she did continue working full-time as a supermarket manager to be the breadwinner, all other aspects of her life center around being a carer for her disabled husband day and night. He can't take a shit or a pee on his own, now and then he simply completely shits himself at night, he needs to be bathed and dressed, and getting around with him is a challenge because no matter what people will tell you, many places and public areas still aren't sufficiently wheelchair-friendly.

It takes its toll; not every marriage survives this. Not sure I could handle it for the rest of my life, anyway.

>>393634 here again.

Just got back from Rievaulx. Had to listen to a man repeatedly shout at his kids for taking some flowers of this tomb thing that has been built in someone's memory in the past year or so.

"Put the flowers back. It's incredibly rude and disrespectful."
"Why is it?"
"Because it is."

He must have said it was rude and disrespectful at least a dozen times without offering any explanation as to why other than 'because it is'. The girl was about 9/10.

>>393671
>The girl was about 9/10
Took me far too long to realise you meant that you meant 9-10-year-old and not that you'd bang her.

>>393672
Now then, now then.

>>393673

Come on, Janner's the new arcane nonce. The world didn't actually end in September 2012, get with the times.

>>393674

Yeah, but Hebrewlad will have a teary and start calling everyone anti-semitic.

>>393674
If he can't remember doing it then did it really happen?

>>393673
But nobody knows or cares who Janner is or looks like. Apart perhaps from being Liz Kendall's predecessor.

>>393675

Maybe if you didn't bring up my non-determinate heritage all the time I wouldn't be so defensive?

>>393672

Spending too much time on image boards may have that effect.

Just the other day, my mate and his girlfriend were arguing while I was at their flat, and after about five to ten minutes or so of being caught in the middle of it and feeling fucking awkward, I said to them "Can't you just stop your little cunt-off already?". They looked at me like I just flat out called both of them cunts, and suggested that it was a good idea if I left.

I did, but there were no hard feelings the next day when I came back.

>>393679
A few years back I started referring to crying as 'having a teary'. Nobody liked it.

>>393679
>They looked at me like I just flat out called both of them cunts
...imagine that?

>>393681

Well it has always seemed to me that engaging in a cunt-off doesn't necessarily mean that you are in fact a complete cunt. You are being a cunt, of sorts, but that does not necessarily signify you as a cunt per se.

>>393679
>>393680
I generally introduce most new people I meet to Tracy's First Anal within a few months, for which I have .gs to thank. It's the best barometer for testing a new friendship.

>>393681
Mirth.

I took some modafinil then promptly fell asleep for an hour. Now I'm listening to the Piddle Diddle report and feeling profoundly confused.

>>393684
Sounds like you've been taking it too much. There gets a point where you just become immune to the stuff.

Then again my first experience with it was taking it at 6am and then going back to sleep waiting for it to kick in and feeling as if it never did but felt compelled to be productive as I had spent a pound on it. After that I took it daily for a couple of weeks to help complete my dissertation in an amazingly short time.

>>393684

How can you sleep on that? It keeps me awake whether I like it or not, and also makes my piss smell metallic.

>>393686
I don't know, I told you I was confused.

Is it just me or has Firefox become ridiculously slow?


It's become a sorely bloated and sluggish pile of shit, and it makes no sense to use it anymore. PornHub is a good litmus test to determine how your browser can handle all the crap hurdled at it, and even with an anti-script extension and AdBlock, it was sluggish at best. The final straw.

>>393688

Firefox is a gigantic memory leak that incidentally renders HTML.

>>393688
>Is it just me or has Firefox become ridiculously slow?
It's just you.

>>393689
Seems like it, I've quickly switched to Chrome, I have 3 YT videos open, and a few other tabs with intensive processes. Everything is butter smooth.

I think I like Scarlett Johansson's acting. I realised that most other actors you get an idea of what they're like as actual people (correctly or not) from their performance. Character actors, playing aspects of themselves. But I've never felt I had a sense of what she's actually like. That's good acting, isn't it?

>>393692
Another conceited, self-important Hollywood cunt, she's mediocre at best to be honest.

>>393692
Reminds me of another actress I saw recently (I forget her name) who said she was annoyed and confused by interviewers asking about her life, when the whole reason she became an actor was so that she could play characters that were not herself.

Firefox is slows as shit, chrome is a botnet and a buggy mess.

Is there an actual decent browser out there?

>>393693
If she's conceited and self-important then I haven't seen it in her acting. If you're watching interviews then that's your own fault.

>>393693

Oh dear.

>>393695
>Firefox is slow as shit
Not inherently so; must be something to do with your system. I still use it as my primary browser and it runs flawlessly. Only issue, as mentioned above, is the high memory usage.

>>393698

I don't think it is my system, here is my specs.

It could be a cpu multitasking issue, but I very much doubt that.

>>393691
New browser without old baggage feels faster shocker.

I seem to get the opposite experience at work - my Firefox session at home weighs in at around 2.5GB with fuckloads of tabs, and is reasonably responsive when the processor isn't tied up with other things, while my Chrome session at work regularly passes 2GB with barely a dozen tabs, and can hit 3GB before I'm up to twenty, all the while being slow and unresponsive as shit. We were ordered about a year ago to stop using Firefox "for security reasons", and I've recently found out that we're not really supposed to be using Chrome either. I'm assuming it's because, unlike IE, those two don't play well with their SSL interception.

When I see people talking about how browser X is bloated or browser Y is slow, I chalk it up to the simple fact that they have no fucking idea whatsoever what they're talking about.

>>393698
OP of the query, it's only happened in the last month or so. Certain Flash plugin-heavy websites would crawl, and the browser was generally sluggish.

Interestingly the Android FF also was incredibly bad, with constant crashes occurring.

What extensions/plugins do you have?

>>393701
Well to start with, I have flash disabled by default (with click-to-activate for each page). I only have a few extensions permanently activated though (HTTPS everywhere, Adblock Plus and a couple of tools for customising the menus and tabs). Perhaps people who need more extensions and scripts will find that it throws a fit more often.

Just stuffed a load of dirty bath towels in the washing machine.

Have any of you lot noticed that when you only wash your towels cold, after some time, they really begin to stink, regardless of the fact that they are freshly washed and should ideally only smell of detergent? It's like, they smell washed, but there's still an underlying smell almost like dirty gym socks and much worse in them.

So now I put them in the wash on "hot" on the long cycle. Hopefully, that will get rid of the odors.

>>393695

>Firefox is slows as shit

No. My neighbour's kid is slow as shit. If your Firefox is slow as shit, try ridding it of some of the add-ons you have presumably installed. Or disable resources-eating things like Flash, which nobody should have activated anymore anyway because it's a bigger germ farm than that monkey in Outbreak.

>>393703

Towels breed bacteria if not hung up properly to dry, so you'll need to do them on a 60 if they've begun to smell. If it is dampness you are having to contend with, then I recommend a tumble dryer if you've got the space (assuming you don't already have one) and some dryer sheets.

>>393703
I always wash towels & bedding on 90". Tumble dry too.

>>393706

well I've got an older Bosch washing machine, and the scale around the knob goes 60° - Energy Save - 90°. So I am assuming that it's somewhere between 70 and 80 degrees.

>>393707

Energy save is either 30 or 40 mate.

>>393704

The only plugins I have are HTTPS by default and Adblock Plus. I have disabled flash now though, you'll be pleased to know.

>>393706
>>393707
>>393708

I always put everything in on 40, cold wash, and hang it all out to dry.

>>393708

Well maybe the Germans with their Bosch washing machines have figured out a way to save energy even at 70 to 80 degrees.

I wouldn't put it past them, they're an industrious people. Look at everything they have given us.

I just came back from an all-day gig where I knew quite a lot of people present. Had a pretty great time.

Of the three women present who I have huge crushes on, while I hugely enjoyed having two of them saying in unison 'please come back to facebook' I most enjoyed having the third sidle up to me unexpected at the end of the night and then disappear as soon as my missus returned from the bogs, but not before flirting rather intensely in that two minute gap. I'm such a slut. She'd posted a photo supposed to be displaying her eczema skin rash problem or whatever and I assured her that what I'd been looking at was just her tits and hips. I think we both know we are never gonna fuck but I really get off on that open window and knowing she feels the same. I'm a cunt tease.

So somebody had a go at me today because I wear t-shirts two days in a row.

I've been led to believe in my life that wearing a t-shirt two days in a row is fine unless you stain it or be active in it. Have I been wrong all this time or is this other person a cunt?

>>393713

Like you say, if there's no sweat or stains there's nothing wrong with it. Hell I only change into a t-shirt from 6pm till bedtime, no point putting it in the wash, especially if I'm just dossing about.

>>393713
I could never wear a tee more than one day, I usually change my top at least once during the day as well. I'd put a t shirt on when I get home at about half six and then wear it when i get home the next day but otherwise no, never.

>>393713

It's a matter of opinion. I err on the side of caution, because my fear of being judged to be a clatty bastard outweighs my laziness over laundry. I think it's fine as long as you're not particularly sweaty, but I know that some people are horrified at the prospect.

In my opinion, the trickier question is how often you need to wash trousers.

>>393716
Trackies, once every two wears. Other stuff, once a week.

>>393716
>the trickier question is how often you need to wash trousers

I've often wondered about this, but I suppose it depends on what you've been up to when you've worn them. Apparently jeans don't need to be washed all that often, either. Anyway, I figure if they don't have stains on them and don't smell at all, then they're fine.

>>393713
Smell the armpits. I may wear tops two or three times between washes, but not on consecutive days. That's just poggy.

>>393718
I can wear jeans for a week before washing unless i get them particularly dirty. My missus rips me for it, but she can wear 2 complete outfits in a day and then complain about the amount of washing we have to do.

Gak and this video are made for each other

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fa9YS7bj9Wo

>>393720
Is a wearing jeans for a week meant to be a long period of time?

I only wash mine if they get dirty. There is absolutely no point otherwise, unless you have especially pungent genitals.

>>393722
No. Good jeans (i.e. raw denim) are not meant to be washed unless they're absolutely filthy. I tend to just air mine out every couple of weeks.

>>393723
>I tend to just air mine out every couple of weeks.

I used to do the same thing, but you quickly realise that you need to have several jeans/trousers on rotation for this to be viable. And I noted that "couple of weeks", was usually about a month - which to be fair, is an awfully long time to have an expensive piece of clothing to be out of action.

I went through the raw denim phase, and honestly, it's a bit of a faff and a waste. I'd rather spend the same amount on a well cut pair of trousers, than some uber-unique denim woven by Japanese virgins.
I'm wearing a pair of Swedish Nudie jeans at the moment, they are OK, but the pockets have given way and each have 2p sized holes and I've had to take it to the tailors to reinforce the crotch twice because of the amount of cycling I do. The saving grace is that they fit really good. (Slim Finn, in case you're wondering about the style/model).

Best pair of jeans I ever owned was some Calvin Klein ones for ~£30 from House of Fraser. I've owned Nudies, APCs and Cheap Mondays, but the whole raw denim thing is a bit poncey.

>>393725

I like Firetrap's range, personally. They fit really well and the couple of pairs I have at the moment have lasted me years.

How much do Nudies usually go for then? I've seen them mentioned here before.

I'm quite OCD about my clothing. I wear jeans two days at the most, but it really depends on what I did in my jeans the first day; if I get them sweaty the first day, they go straight in the wash.

Similar with shirts... if they feel "sweaty", I wash them right after the first day. But I could also never wear a T-shirt two days in a row. Something's just not right about that. Same with any type of underwear.

You may not be able to smell it yourself, but on the second day at the latest, clothes will have soaked up your body stink and will give it off to your surroundings even if you've just showered. I've got a very acute sense of smell on top of being OCD, so I smell these things long before everybody else. And it'd be horrible for me if I knew that my clothes gave off a bad smell to the people around me.

I also make doubly sure my clothes don't have stains on them when I leave the house. Unless I am going to engage in an activity where they will get dirty anyway, going out with a smudge on my shirt is a big no-no and I would feel weird around other people.

>>393727

>OCD

This isn't OCD, lad. It's perfectly normal and rational vanity.

>>393723
I used to wear raw denim all the time (and spend ridiculous amounts on jeans) and I will wash jeans I wear regularly once a week or so, aside from those raw denim ones.

Jeans smell awful. Acknowledge it.

>>393724
I couldn't stand Nudie, I thought they were crap. ED-71s from Edwin for me.

>>393729
Jeans don't smell awful if you wash them.

>>393730
That's my point - most people don't really.

>>393729

You need to maintain them. If they are raw denim, then use an airtight bag to freeze them for 24 hours if they aren't dirty to freshen them up, then hang them out to defrost. You can also scoosh them up with febreeze and a quick tumble with a bounce sheet on the cold setting afterwards.

Jeans don't smell awful unless you smell awful.

>>393728

You don't know the half of it, mate...

>>393733

What you've described isn't OCD. I'm open to being proven wrong though If you want to share your experiences.

>>393734
We get it. The term OCD is very often overused by people who wouldn't know NICE from the DSM. He doesn't have to prove anything to you.

>>393688
I'm afraid it's just you lad.
OTOH, mine runs an ad blocker, a script blocker and whatever-other-shite blocker so I don't know for sure. Maybe it would be as foul as yours had I disabled all that blocking.

>>393726
>Firetrap

Have you added any more Sports Direct baseball caps to your collection?

>>393679

I once called some Australians 'Aussie cunts' in a hostel, intending to say it in a jokey way, forgetting that I have poor control over the tone of my voice. I nearly got beat up.

>>393738

I got them from a shop called USC. I only wear Von Dutch hats, and they don't sell them in Sports Direct (chance would be a fine thing).

>>393740
Why do you only wear Von Dutch hats?

>>393741
Because he's from 2004.

>>393741

I was trying, and clearly failing, to be pretentious.

>>393743
Or are you from 2004?

>>393744

You're right, of course. I have travelled through time at approximately 1 second per second to be here to post this.

>>393721

This video is better.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsytdmYtcf8

>>393749
Any excuse.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=co9yv2NjyWs

>>393744

2004 was more the time when the chavs usurped Burberry, wasn't it.

>>393767
That was going on for years before 2004. It was widespread enough by 2003 to merit nine urban dictionary definitions describing the wearers as what we would now call chavs.

>>393767
Safe.

>>393768

Really? Well, my memory sometimes fails me.

I actually read a short while ago that Burberry is now becoming fashionable again among decidedly non-chav people, and that the chavs have apparently moved on to greater things.

Maybe I should dig up my old Burberry windbreaker which must still be at my parents'. It's over 15 years old and thus predates the chav days. I think I do remember letting it fall into disuse when Burberry became a chav icon.

>>393770
That's been going on for a while. "Chavs" aren't exactly something you can associate fashions with nowadays anyway, seeing as they're extinct, or at least critically endangered.

>>393771
I know a south London bird (deep south) who refers to herself as a chav. She's really not though, just has a south London accent.

>>393771

I think they just go under the radar these days. A few quid too many in their pockets to be exploited appear on Benefits Street, but not enough money to be represented on TOWIE. And even Jeremy Kyle scrapes much further towards the bottom of the barrel these days.

>>393766

The weakest of excuses. Motorhead and Napalm Death aren't really in the same league.

>>393770
Burberry never stopped being a great brand just because chavs wore knock-off Burberry caps. Similarly with Aquascutum. It's a weird one, really, it's hard to think what attracted chavs to clothing brands that are usually for the decidedly posh. My favourite of all of the chav fashion (at least locally, I don't know how widespread this was) was the garish Gill jackets with the fluorescent hoods.

My weekend ended with a call this morning about a job interview.

Got no fucking idea how to dress for this interview as it's for one of those room escape games. Obviously being too formal with a shirt, tie, trousers and formal shoes is out but I can't say I've ever worn smart casual for an interview and I don't really have anything for it. This is assuming I should go smart casual.

>>393789

If you have a long sleeve shirt in a pastille colour you could wear that with a pair of dark jeans and shoes. I don't think I really know what smart casual means, now that I think about it, so that could be well off.

Good luck though, m8.

>>393790
I have plenty of shirts like that, black denim jeans but I don't know about the shoes.

I have black shoes but they might look a bit off as I often wear them with a white shirt, tie and black trousers which looks good but for a pastille shirt and black denim jeans I don't know.

>>393791

A pair of chelsea boots in black or dark brown would be perfect. Failing this, just a pair of DMs or something.

Lets play a game of Dress .gs. What footwear do you own?

>>393792

Oxfords, not brogues.

>>393793

This interview... Room escape, you say?

Ok it doesn't look too bad with the brogues. But as I asked my friends what they thought they told me to tuck my shirt in. Of course I said it was going to but then I thought. For an interview like this would tucking your shirt in be a bad idea?

>>393795

I don't know, that is your call. Long sleeve dress shirts are made to be tucked in, whereas long sleeve casual shirts are tailored in a way where you can do either.

It's really down to preference and whether you think it'll make you look smarter, or like a bit of pocket protector type.

>>393796
Oh dear I now have the problem of one group of people saying I should wear a proper suit with a tie and the other group saying I should go smart casual with the casual shirt with black denim.

Bloody hell.

>>393797

What is the interview for exactly? Don't out yourself or anything, but try and give us as much info as possible.

Generally speaking, wearing a suit is a good idea. You were the one who created the ambiguity in the first place by saying you didn't think it called for it.

>>393798
It's for one of those room escape games. My role would be to introduce the players to the game and interact with them and more or less entertain them. A game co-ordinator might be an apt title. I mean what would someone wear to an interview for say laser quest or something similar?

It all seemed very informal going by the application process as one of the questions in the application asked me what kind of super power would I have.

>>393799

Go smart casual then. You probably don't want to be dressed better than the guy interviewing you, not for a job like that anyway.

The only niggle I have about it is the danger of encountering one of those middle management types with on overinflated sense of their own position you sometimes get, inexplicably, running places like that who wont hire you unless you are wearing a suit. I say inexplicably, because they seem to have never had fun before. Heard of it sure, but they've never actually seen it despite peddling it for a living.

>>393800
Indeed, which is why Sawlad should tuck his shirt in and maybe opt for trousers or chinos over denim jeans. Smart doesn't have to look like dressing up.

>>393799
>It's for one of those room escape games.
You should probably take a GPS phone, some pliers, a mini toolkit, leatherman, penknife, things like that.
>My role would be to introduce the players to the game and interact with them and more or less entertain them.
Oh, that's different then. Maybe a mask, some video equipment?

>>393800>>393801
So for the sake of compromise:

Blue casual long sleeve shirt, no tie, black trousers and a pair of black shoes. How's that?

>>393803

Sounds sexygood.

>>393803
Be more descriptive? i.e. what style shirt and shoes?

>>393805
Thin vertical blue and light blue casual buttoned shirt and I think the shoes are brogues.

>>393806
*thin vertical stripes if it wasn't clear enough

I'd have thought it was obvious.

>>393808
That's something I'm disappointed about. I'll have to shave my beard for the interview. Far too risky to go in with a beard even if I trim it nicely.

>>393799
To me, smart-casual means open-neck smart shirt tucked into casual (but not torn or dirty) jeans, paired with either boots or black/brown leather casual shoes (i.e not dress shoes or trainers). Optional blazer or sweater if it's a cold day, depending if you'd rather err on the side of smart or casual respectively.

>>393806
Funny you should mention that combination. I've got that lined up (with grey or navy trousers) for an interview later this week. It's an internal interview for a promotion at work, so a suit might be overdoing it (particularly since I'd have to work in it the rest of the day). That said, the tan brogues would work equally well with the trousers or the jeans.

I collect charity door-to-door and fucking hell it's difficult. I don't know what to say when people start closing the door in my face to give me a chance to at least talk.

>>393817
It's annoying when panhandlers come to your door begging for money. It would have been easier if you kept that shit in the church. No peace from you on the streets or in my fucking home. Jesus.

>>393817
>I don't know what to say when people start closing the door in my face to give me a chance to at least talk.
"Sorry for disrupting your morning/afternoon/evening" would be a good place to start.

>>393819>>393818

We've all got to earn our bread somehow.

>>393817
Do you actually work for the charity or one of those agencies where the first £100 of donations for each person signing up for direct debit goes to the agency to pay commission?

>>393817
Perhaps you can tell me - would you prefer me to shut the door in your face, or to patiently wait for you to finish your spiel before revealing I can't afford to donate anything?

>>393817
I've briefly done that job. I find it strange that's seemingly your main problem. Some people are just not interested in or capable of donating. You ought to be worrying about the people you are speaking to. How hard are you finding it to make a sale? If you're finding it as hard as I did and your agency is as shady as mine was, it might be time to look for something better sooner rather than later. If you're not on basic pay and can't easily meet targets, it's just not going to work out.

>>393823
I do wonder how people can describe "can work to targets" as a skill, rather than an accident of circumstance, unless they're describing the ability to leave money on the table for another day as a skill rather than a liability.

>>393822

As a former cold caller, I always preferred a polite "not interested thanks". It saves time for both parties without any obvious rudeness.

>>393825

This doesn't work when I try it, though. When I try this all I get is "It'll only take a few minutes of your time, m'lud." and I'm forced to tell them to fuck off. I'm disabled, you've just made me walk down some stairs to answer the door, because you had me thinking it was my Shish kebab, and now I'm going to have to sit on the steps and wait for the bastard thing so I don't have to make two trips. You've potentially stolen 30 mins of my life, you fucking shits, so no, I wont be listening to your sales pitch.

Sorry, lads. I think I needed that vent.

>>393825
A lot of people consider it obviously rude to receive a cold call. Also remember the belligerent callers who won't take no for an answer. It's a scummy world to inhabit and you have to learn to roll with the punches (as I'm sure you'll remember).

Just a couple of days ago, some cunt rung my bell. I told him to fuck off, but he sounded disheartened and said "but you don't even know what I would have said..." I told him to fuck off again, and he did.

It is really annoying.

>>393827
Intercom.

>>393828

At least once per shift, someone would go on a screaming rant as soon as they realised it was a sales call.

I looked forward to those calls, because I could put my headset on mute and sneak off for a piss without having to log off from the system. We were only allowed one piss break per shift in addition to our statutory 20 minute lunch break.

Shaved my beard for this interview. I look and feel worse. I somehow look scruffier without the beard. I can feel the razor burn rashes about to appear in about an hour.

>>393831
Aye, it might have been a better idea to do it last night if you wanted to look presentable today. That's generally what I do, but then I'm fair-haired as a man of the north should be so a day or two of growth isn't scruffy-looking.

>>393832
Interview is tomorrow fortunately. Hoping it looks a bit more presentable by then. Doesn't change the fact I look like I don't have a chin.

>>393829

Are you a paki?

>>393834
Ho... How can you tell?


Yes I am, and I am very impressed. How can you tell? Intercom? Telling someone to fuck off? Where's the Paki in that? I'm dying to know.

>>393835

You lot are rude bastards like that.

Any native Brit would have felt obliged to answer and only managed to escape the conversation by an awkward lie about some potatoes boiling over or something.

>>393836
Maybe if more Brits were rude, cunts like yourself would stop knocking on strangers' doors.

>>393836

>You lot

>>393837

Don't you dare accuse me of being a door knocker, I'm just a humble crayfish.

>>393835

Do you live in the outskirts of Leeds?

>>393836
Weird, I thought he was an utterly rude shit, but I never would have put it down to him being a Pakimani. That's impressive.

Proof-reading my German friend's master thesis while he was on exchange here...

I love the chap, but christ it's a train wreck. He has only a week left and he's still pissing about getting results. Don't know how he'll make it.

>>393842

Mercy kill him? You pass automatically then, right?

A true friend would.

>>393842
Does he have a solid deadline for it? The fact that my PhD thesis can be submitted any time up to a year after my funding ends is not conducive to me getting it done in a hurry. I'm hoping that once I actually get delved into writing then I'll start to enjoy it and knock it all out in a month or so.

>>393844

50,000 words, or there about, which is the standard is fucking grim. Limit yourself to between 1000 and 2000 a day, at the absolute most, if you are going to try and do it that quick.

>>393845
My supervisor's is 28,000. I'm just going to wap it all out and see how big it is. I was taught long ago that scientific writing is best done just by saying what needs to be said clearly, rather than working to word limits. The limit set by the uni is 100,000 words, but if it takes you 100,000 words to get across what you've been up to for the past three years and why it's scientifically important, I'd argue that it's not that important.

>>393843
Probably kill him via alcohol poisoning... It'll be the least suspicious...

>>393844
I think he does, he wouldn't be stressing so much if he didn't. He's leaving the country next week, and he said it needs to be basically done and dusted by the end of the month. The official extension is until the 16th of September, but he's off to another country before that...

Reading his work, if I was his examiner, I would give him a shit mark - I only say this because I've proof read two other MSc thesis (both German strangely!), and they were leagues ahead of this. I garnered that he hasn't done enough scientific writing, because the references make me weep (quoting a image he found on google from some random "agency"?), and I've largely omitted the horrible English. I'm no scholar of the English language, but you feel someone is taking the piss when they write words they have never ever said in public or know what they mean.

In fairness, he got a right shafting from one of the technicians who dragged their feet with sample analysis for weeks. But on the other hand... he was having a right laugh until the start of August, (with me in tow, it was worth it I think).

>>393845>>393846
My dissertation was 20,000 words which is the usual standard and I only managed to do that in three weeks hopped up on modafinil and only met the deadline.

A week to write a thesis is insane.

Feel fucking elated knowing as a 6'2'' guy I've landed a date with a 5' androgynous, yet feminine girl - THE DREAM.

>>393849

Noice.

>>393849

I don't understand how these bear any relation to each other. Do you like to role play as a giant? You kinky bastard!

"Oh, m'lud, your cock is like the bough on yonder oak! I couldn't possibly take the entirety of it's girth."

"Fi-fy-fo-fum, I smell the blood of a fissured bum!"

>>393852
Uh, I don't know to be honest, I have a thing for shorter girls, I have a thing for girls with pixie cuts, and I have a thing for girl with no make-up/natural looks - combine those together... and add a enthusiastic personality, it almost seems too good to be true.

But I like your imagined prediction, if things go swimmingly, and I mean 2 months down the line we're at it like rabbit, I'll act out your silly role play. Who knows, might be a good story for the grand kids.

>>393860

>Pixie cuts

Oh you kinky giant devil, you could fashion a toga out of a bedsheet and raid the pixie forest.

Lad who had interview here.

Might have fucked it. Got the earliest train (it was in a different city that'll I'll be moving to) and sods law was in force. My train was delayed for 30 minutes and then cancelled. So I had to think fast and take a train to another station so I could get a train going to my destination. That train was also delayed. As a result I was an hour late for my interview.

Interview itself went fantastic despite the lateness but I reckon I could have been guaranteed the job if I was on time. I reckon they'll probably not take me on due to this. In the process of getting my tickets refunded and writing an angry email saying the train service may have cost me a job.

>>393873

Did you explain why you were late?

>>393874
Yes. I don't think they bought it though. The fat lady who interviewed me just kept on staring at me with an ugly scowl on her face.

>>393874
Called them when my train started getting dangerously close to the interview a few times. Explained what time I was expected to arrive. Apologised several times. Explained briefly what the problem was without going into it too much and said this would not be a problem if I was to get the job as I would be living more or less 10 minutes away and transport would not be an issue. I even said that usually punctuality is one of my strengths and I often tend to arrive anywhere I am appointed earlier than expected.

But in the eyes of an interviewer being an hour late is a big red flag even if there was a legitimate reason and I would totally not blame them for telling me to get fucked.

>>393875
Chavlad, that wasn't a job interview.

That was a mickey Ds and that fat lass was displeased that you were trying to order a whopper meal and a bucket of chicken at a drive thru while high and on the shoulders of your scummy fat mate called dazzer.

>>393876
There's a limit to the allowances you're expected to make. Typically you might expect someone to make around 15-20 minutes at a push. If you set out in good time for that, and still got fucked over to the tune of an hour by the transport network, it would take a right cunt to suggest that this was somehow your fault, particularly if you stayed in touch.

I've got a long history of fucking up interviews. Bizarrely, the ones I've broken protocol on are the ones that actually got me jobs. Taxi dropped me at the wrong end of the estate, and I had to walk the long way round. Overslept, and as a result turned up without having shaved or showered. Got on a late-running train that arrived five minutes before the one I'd planned, thinking it would be let out first, was sorely mistaken, and it would turn out that the set was running on one engine instead of two, resulting in being around 10 minutes late instead of 10 minutes early. Still got the job each time.

>>393876
>in the eyes of an interviewer being an hour late is a big red flag

At work they're trying to get more consultants. Before his actual interview one recently got in touch to say he felt he was worth more than the advertised salary, despite having no consultancy experience or a client bank to bring with him, and said they'd have to increase it by £15k. He was told where to go and his interview was cancelled.

I'm a bit late back to the party, but in any case:

>>393713
> I've been led to believe in my life that wearing a t-shirt two days in a row is fine unless you stain it or be active in it

In my experience always cycle or alternate your shirts, especially in an office environment where people see you every day. Eventually I figured that the trick was that you could wear the same shirt twice in the same week max, but never on two consecutive days. This was useful during business travel where I'd not want to smell bad but also get away with traveling as light as possible.

>>393737
Firefox leaks memory over time far worse than Chromium-based browsers or even modern IE. They just never seem to be able to get the garbage collection (and especially cycle collection) working optimally. With all the obscure HTML5 garbage the average website throws at you these days that's probably not all that surprising.

> Got no fucking idea how to dress for this interview as it's for one of those room escape games.

My golden rule, the one that I got taught in school and has served me well all my life, is to never turn up to an interview in clothes you wouldn't turn up every day in. In other words: wear what you'd expect to work in. Your case is actually one of the few that breaks it in that you'd probably be provided with a uniform or costume or some such, in which case my preference is always for smart-casual.

>>393849
>>393852

I used to know a guy who was knocking on 6' 11" and used to go out with this tiny bird who, no lie, was under 5'. I always used to wonder wtf they actually got up to in bed.

P.S. Prague was shite.

>>393889
>never turn up to an interview in clothes you wouldn't turn up every day in.
If I did that I'd never get hired. Turning up to an office for an interview in t-shirt, jeans and trainers probably isn't a good idea.

>>393889
>all the obscure HTML5 garbage the average website throws at you
If the average website is doing it, does it remain obscure?

>>393891

I almost spoiler-texted something along the lines of "I know there will be a bunch of lads who completely disagree with me but this is what's always worked for me, caveat lector, etc etc".

>>393893

Good point. The problem is that different websites are hitting different, and obscure, parts of the codebase, not that lots of websites are all hitting the same "otherwise obscure" parts.

>>393891
>never turn up to an interview in clothes you wouldn't turn up every day in.
This is perhaps good advice for the jobs you've had, but absolutely not universal. I'd guess most white collar workers have "interview/formal occasion" suits that stay in the cupboard all the rest of the time.

So yeah, you probably should've added those extra lines.

>>393895
I have an interview shortly. We moved into this office a year ago and today is the first time I've worn a tie inside it.

When I went for a Christmas job at Toys'R'Us one of the lads turned up in a suit. They hired him. I was the second smartest dressed, in that I had trousers and shoes on instead of trainers and trackies, and was also hired.

>>393895
> I'd guess most white collar workers have "interview/formal occasion" suits that stay in the cupboard all the rest of the time.

I'd never interview in a suit because I don't expect to wear a suit to the office every day. The only time I had to wear a suit was when visiting clients of a certain ethos (particularly within the square mile) where to turn up to a meeting without a suit is tantamount to an insult. So, yes, if you expect to wear a suit to work every day or if you're interviewing at a firm where the term "interview suit" is still in active parlance you may wish to wear a suit. You may also want to hang yourself with your Tie Rack tie rather than take such a job, but that's just the spoilt rotten industry-diva in me coming out, I think.

To the best of my knowledge I've never failed a job interview for not wearing a suit. That said, to the best of my knowledge I've also never failed a job interview for turning up straight from the pub with obvious five-pint booze breath and the speed jitters. It's an odd world.

Once again, britfa.gs reaffirms my confidence in my academic life choices, where I could turn up in floral shorts and a tank top in December and still probably not be as batshit insane as the person interviewing me.

Door-knocker here. Pakilad up there complaining about someone telling him he didn't even know what the knocker was going to say is talking about me, I think.

And he's a lying bastard. He didn't tell me to fuck off, he avoided eye contact by staring at my stomach with slouched shoulders and mumbled that he didn't think he'd be interested, and I certainly wasn't dejected when I told him that he didn't know whether he was or not. I was simply wondering what would happen if I pointed it out after hearing it a couple of times and he happened to be the next person that said it.

Soz to ruin your hardman fantasies where you destroyed me and came out with the upper-hand, lad. Also your next door neighbour that I went to afterwards told me not to bother going on to your house because the boy there has some kind of problem. Assuming that's you.

>>393909
Your insecurity is showing, insecurelad.

>>393909

You want some salt and vinegar with that chip, love?

>>393909
There is so much wrong here. Is this why you are stuck knocking doors?

>>393878>>393902
Silver tongued bastards.

One thing I neglected to mention was I was left in the room while my interviewer was busy. I was an hour late so it was expected. While waiting I saw a note book, I didn't want to make it look like I was snooping so I just tried to read it from where I was sitting. I noticed my name and although I couldn't read the handwriting which was also upside down it looked like "late". I get the feeling I might not get this job.

That and hindsight, retrospective and staircase wit is killing me. I genuinely think I did a fantastic interview and would have got the job if it wasn't for the lateness. Oh well. It's already midweek and I'm still going on about this. Almost willing to tempt fate and prepared to do a forfeit if I do get the job. At least if I don't get it then I don't have to do a forfeit.

>>393915
The notebook mentioned an indisputable fact!? God forbid! You'll never get the job now!

>>393915

I've been late for interviews and still scored the job before. Any competent interviewer judges you on more than just one single aspect.

>>393917
This. if you knock them dead in the interview they'll probably forget whatever it was you fucked up on.

I will be staying in mostly due to special social anxiety resulting from accidentally having appeared naked to a gang of teenage girls.

Once you are over thirty there is no cool dad to hide you I the boot of his car this giving you an alibi of sorts.

>>393923

We are really going to need exposition here.

>>393924
On the advice of my lawyer I will not be talking any further regarding my exposition.

>>393925

So when you say "accidentally" exposed yourself...

I will be staying in with my fourteen year old daughter waiting for the police to come round to take a statement from her regarding a wanking flasher who attacked her and her friends at lunchtime.

>>393927

It begs the question, what were they doing in myhis house in the first place? Maybe he misread the signals. Maybe, they wanted to see his cock.

>>393924

He is talking about the lad whose mates saw him wanking in his room from outside. His dad smuggled him into the boot of his car, drove off saying he was going to pick wanklad up from the station. Came back with wanklad sitting in the car like nothing had happened.

>>393929
Wanklad here, it was my grandma's house not the station, but I owe my dad yet another pint because you lot keep reminding me how great he is.

>>393930

You dad links his ale?

>>393931
He likes a bitter, and we went to Ireland a few years ago and he decided to become a Guinness person.

>>393929
I don't think I follow.

>>393934
His dad was making a show for his son's mates so they'd think it was him doing the wanking.

If I recall, wanklad fessed up to his mates anyway, but .gs reveres his dad for being a hero.