I've enjoyed watching the women's rugby and am looking forward to Laura Trott's arse.

>>404466
I like a thick bird.

>>404467
The women 7's were a revelation to me. I actually fancied them and they looked like the sort of people who would play rugby. I'm starting to see why women like rugger buggers. Also, the rugby was really good.

What about that stuff about sexist Olympic commentators eh lads, load of PC gone mad.

>>404467
I don't know why, but she reminds me of a female version of Jay from The Inbetweeners.

Glad to see I'm not the only one who admires a tough bird. I really should start going to women's rugby games for a good perv -wearing my trench-coat and trilby with built-in spy camera of course.

I admire the rugby lasses but I'd never date one, they'd snap me like a twig! Although I did once know a rugby girl who seemed nothing like what you'd expect, fairly short and not particularly brash. But then she went and dated a borderline sociopath so that was the end of that.

Women with stronger arms tend to have more endurance at giving hand jobs.

>>404475
Yeah but athletic women are shite at blowjobs, you need a fat bird for that.

>>404475>>404477
I learned yesterday that Lidia Perez has a 116kg snatch. I'm more interested in that.

How much talent do you need to become a cox? It must be the easiest way to win a medal, sitting there and telling other people to row.

>>404479

I can actually get you an answer for this in half an hour if you want. From a rower.

>>404480
Thanks. The one in the men's rowing was some scrawny Filipino who couldn't have been taller than 5'2" and the one in the women's rowing was about shoulder height to the rowers.

>>404479#

"In an straight race the focus is to shout hard and to enthuse rowers. Anything involving angles the cox is navigating like a F1 driver uses his car."

Shite night it was.

I was on the night shift. Usually you'd switch the audio alerts on, turn the volume to the max and try to sleep a bit, waking up each hour or so to check if everything is ok. There were two of us that night. We decided to split the night so one'd sleep and one on the watch, then the reverse.

Well, fuck my damn meat shell. Hard. Just when the time came for me to sleep, it decided that it wouldn't. I spent two solid hours trying to fall asleep, to no avail. Got up. Spent the remaining time watching that wonky Terminator serial I'd always wanted to watch but never got any spare time to spend.

Thank fuck nothing serious happened. I had planned to sleep a bit on the shift, then do some personal stuff after work in the morning. To hell it went. I did everything I had planned to do though, at the expense of walking into the bedroom with the grace of a zombie that had just been shot with a decent shotgun. Four or five times, point blank. I slept 18 bloody hours.

It was a great sleep anyway. But my little meat shell. Please? Can you fucking do what I ask you at least sometimes?

>>404491
>watching that wonky Terminator serial
Is that the Sarah Connor Chronicles? Don't waste your time mate, it's fucking shite. (And I'm a T3 apologist.)

>>404494
I always quite liked T3. Don't get why it gets so much stick.

>>404494
Aye. I'm going to continue watching it for a while. Hasn't put me off yet; also a nice time eater for night shifts when everything else has been done.

>>404478
Very pleased that she placed finally, the commentators wouldn't fucking shut up about her missing out on the gold in London though which kind of dented my enjoyment. Yes, we know the others were disqualified. Yes, we know there are drugs cheats in weightlifting. Please find me a lifter who you think is clean, and I'll tell you they just haven't been caught yet. I don't like to think Valentin is dirty, but frankly when you're at that level it's almost a given. I'd much rather they focused on her technique; her turnaround the bar is textbook nearly every time.

Anyway, my heart belongs to Yelisseyeva.

>>404494
> And I'm a T3 apologist
Why? I've heard all the criticism. Tell me about the bright sides, if you don't mind.

I spent this weekend giving my parents' front garden an overhaul. They've got trees, bushes and all kinds of other plants in front of their house, and I spent four hours yesterday with an electric hedge trimmer, a branch cutter and other gardening equipment making all that look neat again. Also, on Friday afternoon, I pressure washed the brick driveway and the stairs in front of the entrance door. I got my parents a Karcher two years ago. I highly recommend Karcher, they are really a neat piece of kit, and far superior to imitation brands.

I've just watched some of the Olympic wrestling. It's some of the gayest shit I have ever seen. Trying to bend the other person over so you can bum rape them.

>>404512
Their pressure washers are the dogs bollocks. Mine's currently broken because I forgot about it and plant ate it but it was still fucking boss.

>>404514

I had Chinese food last night. It too was the dog's bollocks.

>>404507
Well, there's... the action scenes are alright.

Hmm.

That's about it, actually.

>>404507

They should have called it quits after Terminator 2. Or at least have tried harder with part three.

Terminator 1 was a really quite well-made sci-fi B-movie. Then they drew in the huge budget for Terminator 2, and threw money indiscriminately at the special effects department at every turn. Terminator 2 is watchable popcorn cinema, but a little bit self-indulgent at times.

But with T3, it was more like they though "right... let's give this another whirl before Ahnold can no longer play buff action heroes. And let's give Kristanna Loken a role that many teenage boys will spaff over once they've paid money to see it.

Yeah, you know what I mean... all of you lot did that... rubbing one off to mental images of her in her skintight leather pantsuit...

>>404517

Not really, bit before my time.

>>404519

Kristanna Loken was fit though.

Too bad her movie career kind of didn't pan out as big as it could have.

>>404517>>404516
Always liked the ending myself.

>>404517
To its credit, T3 stuck to the formula that worked in the previous films. The unstoppable Terminator pursues the helpless humans and their protector Michael Biehn/the T-800, causing wanton property damage wherever they go. For that reason it is a more than watchable installment. Salvation on the other hand is bizarre and crap and has a lot of shouting between Michael Ironside and Christian Bale.

>>404523
How about Genysis?

Some girl on my facebook is recording herself doing press-ups every day for one of those charity drives that doesn't actually do anything. She looks rather good doing it.

>>404532
She's bringing a brief moment of enjoyment to your day, mate, that's a charitable enough act in itself.

>>404531
Not seen it, but it doesn't look worth my time. Scanned the plot on Wikipedia and it's a convoluted mess.

>>404549
It's worth a watch the once if you like the first two or three movies, but it's awful, really. Plot/script aside, the acting is pretty uniformly bad (especially from the British contingent, sadly). It manages to not be the worst Terminator movie, but that's damning with faint praise given how shit Salvation was.

Don't judge me but the gymnastic ladies are giving some lovely ideas wot with them creamy thighs and cracking arses.

>>404555

>>404555
They all look like kids to me. There is something wrong with you.

>>404559

Yea, he forgot to drink his fisherperson kool-aid this morning.

>>404560
What has fishing got to do with paedophilia?

>>404559
Apart from that one 16 year old British gymnast they mostly just look like fit adult women to me.

>>404562
That Chink lass can't be older than 12 and she's getting on my tits because she, like many of the other competitors, keeps making a heart shape with their fingers when they realise the camera is on them.

Can you lads post these grown women you are talking about? What channel is it on?

>>404565
The Lympics are all over the BBC. Right now Sonia from EastEnders is refereeing a hockey game between Britain and New Zealand.

>>404572
It is really difficult keeping up with what's on and when things I kind of care about will be on.

Has anyone got any experience with TeslaCrypt? My mums computer got it so I found out what it was, did some research, downloaded a decrypter. How can I ensure its completely gone and are those files safe to move to other disks?

>>404573
There's women in all the events. I have a new found appreciation for synchronised swimming. They way they walk out at the start of their routines, at least for the pairs, is mesmerising.

>>404574
Nuke it from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

>>404574
Ransomware is fucking evil. We should all curse Bitcoin for bringing this blight upon the world.

>>404572

I haven't watched one single event of these Olympics.

I thimk it's fucking boring. I just can't be arsed.

>>404578
I haven't watched much of it too. Not because it is shite or anything, but because I'm just confused with when things are on and all the timezones rubbish. BBC should just give you a list of all the events, so that you can click and just watch the ones you want to see.

>>404579
They do.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/olympics/rio-2016

Seven medals away from the London haul. Three already guaranteed (Lutalo Nanook, Nicola Adams and Joe Joyce).

How the Steve Redgrave have we managed to pull this off?

>>404588
Lottery funding, less Russians and underperforming Chinks.

The women's hockey final last night was a good watch.

Another night shift in the past now. The first half went relatively okay — a couple of fairly minor troubles and a drunken tosser on the phone calling me a cunt. Bloody hilarious — he talked as if he had a cock in his mouth; I suspect some sort of a speech impediment in addition to him being under influence. Had to resist the urge to say, ‘Mate, can you pull the cock out of your mouth for a moment, please?’ Hard.

We split the night again. I got the 03:00-08:00 hours for a kip. This time the body decided to behave and I fell asleep as soon as I lay down. I had spent a few hours before watching that serial again. A few dull moments, otherwise quite all right. But then, I don't watch a lot of them so maybe my taste isn't exactly refined.

I woke up at 07:55. Cast a quick peek at the monitoring… Fuck. FUCK. Hell's blazes. Devil's arse.

Core 1 unit power down.
Core 2 unit power down.
Core 3 unit power down.

Nothing in the internal chat, indicating I was the first to notice. Another glance how long they had been down. Three minutes. Sigh. Rang the responsible party. ‘Do you ever read the mail? We sent a notice about this yesterday at 4 o'clock.’ I do read the mail. And I did see the damn message. It didn't say anything about a possible power outage though.

Then the hell broke loose and we drowned in the avalanche of phone calls. You know, resolutely everybody must call you and ask what's up, how long will it be, why, can they talk to the manager, can they talk to the director, you are a bunch of stinking cocks and so on ad nauseam.

>>404592
Artykov has already tested positive for PED and been stripped of his gold, expect to see more rejigging of medals in the coming weeks.

Our men's 4x400 disqualified after their heat because reasons. Nobody can see from the video why it's happened, having gone over all three handovers with a fine-tooth comb. The team lodge an appeal, and almost immediately the press start reporting that it's been upheld. This morning, British Athletics announce that it's actually been rejected.

Got my wellies on for a bit of gardening. Didn't see a slug on a stepping stone and slipped on it.

Fell on my arse, and it looks like there's going to be a visible bruise.

Damn buggers.

>>404596
>Didn't see a slug on a stepping stone and slipped on it.
I guess they're right. The slippery are indeed very crrafty.

>>404596

I think the slug probably had the worse deal there.

>>404598
You should try pissing on one. They can't handle the saltiness.

>>404599
Do slugs have arses? Given the relative size of your stream would that mean you'd be pissing in it from a standing height?

>>404599
>You should try pissing on one. They can't handle the saltiness.

And just on what kind of occasion did you find that out?

Best way to get rid of slugs, by the way, is by setting a beer trap. Forget all the stuff they sell you at Homebase, slugs are irresistibly drawn to a bit of beer that you can set out in your garden in an old coffee mug or something. Fill it halfway with stale beer, put it in the ground near your crops that you want to protect, and leave it for a few days. You will see that a good dozen slugs will have drowned (or died of alcohol poisoning?) inside the mug.

Don't know why the blighters love the smell of beer so much... but it works.

Don't listen to him lads, this is just one desperate man's gambit for free beer.

>>404602

Right... I'll come by your house at night, sneak in your back garden, and nick a coffee mug filled with stale beer and dead slugs from your vegetable patch.

Your ability to read minds is uncanny.

>>404600
>Given the relative size of your stream would that mean you'd be pissing in it from a standing height?

Of course you stand up when you piss on a slug, you shouldn't squat down to do it.

>>404604

>Of course you stand up when you piss on a slug, you shouldn't squat down to do it.

Why, is the slug going to bite you in your testicles if you squat?

>>404606
That's just how you piss. Why would you squat piss?

The CPU fan on my laptop computer is about to bite the dust. Since yesterday, it's been making loud noises. Typical sign of the fan's bearings having seized.

I opened my laptop an hour ago, and tried to clean the fan with air pressure, and gave the bearings a little WD-40. This has helped reduce the noise slightly, but it's still quite annoying when you're sitting on the couch and surfing the Internet. And the fan is now constantly running at full blast, probably because the seized up bearings reduce its cooling power.

Problem is, laptop CPU fans aren't standardised items. Every laptop has its own proprietary fan design. And while you can get spare parts for things such as your screen or your keyboard, there is nowhere that has a new, unused CPU fan assembly for my particular laptop. So right now, I am looking on eBay for a used fan from a laptop like mine. And I'm in luck, apparently there are people who strip old laptops and sell the individual parts.

30 quid for a used CPU fan assembly seems a bit steep, plus p+p, but I'd have to spend a good 600 quid to get a new laptop similar to mine.

>>404608

Mate, 30 quid plus p+p sounds a fucking bargain, if you ask me.

>>404609

Well the seller is in Estonia, so it's going to be around £12 p+p.

But you're probably right in that spending £42 to get my old laptop running smoothly again is still a far better deal than having to buy a new laptop.

The noise really is fucking annoying. Before I cleaned the fan and gave it a squirt of WD-40, it sounded like a kitchen blender, and it was almost as loud. Now it's the same noise but a bit more subdued. Still, very annoying when you're just aimlessly surfing on the Internet looking for a little distraction.

>>404609

Nah, it's gallingly expensive. A typical blower fan should cost no more than £6 including P&P.

>>404608

If you haven't bought it yet, post the make and model of your laptop. I might be able to find you a cheaper replacement. The actual blower tends to be a commodity part, the problem is figuring out what you need. Manufacturers tend to obfuscate the actual part numbers of components, because they'd rather charge you for an out-of-warranty repair or sell you a massively marked-up assembly. I have access to unofficial service manuals that provide much more information than the official documentation.

>>404611

>unofficial service manuals

Any chance of a twenty four hour magnet link on this?

>>404611

>If you haven't bought it yet

Too late, I've bought the fan. The laptop is a 17'' Sony Vaio, top of the line back then, I've had it for about four years. You can still get TFT displays and keyboards for it, but somehow, nobody thought to keep up a supply of CPU fan assemblies.

>The actual blower tends to be a commodity part, the problem is figuring out what you need.

The blower mechanism itself is riveted firmly into an oblong metal case that attaches to the CPU at the other end. I haven't got the right tools to drill out those rivets, so it wouldn't do me any good to just buy a new fan.

It probably wasn't a bargain, this used CPU fan assembly at 42 quid. But considering how much a new laptop would be, I still think it's a reasonable kind of deal.

Someone on the street is having a domestic. A woman has been shouting at the top of her voice for about 20 minutes, but all I've heard is "DON'T YOU DARE GIVE ME THAT FUCKING SHIT", "ARE YOU GONNA LISTEN?" and "ARE YOU ACTUALLY GONNA LET ME SPEAK?" on repeat.

>apparently there are people who strip old laptops and sell the individual parts.
We used to purchase these all the time at a PC repair shop I worked in. Mostly the fans were a tenner or so but sometimes you'd get a particular model of laptop that had no analogues (other models in the same line with the same fans/whatever, but with different part numbers, or the same laptop but with a different brand) and you'd just have to cough up whatever ridiculous price the sole ebay seller had set - £30+ wasn't that uncommon.

>>404615

There is a famous anecdote that during the latter days of the Space Shuttle programme, some electronic spare parts for the Space Shuttles were so unobtainably out of stock that the engineers in charge of servicing the spacecraft frequently had to resort to buying them used off eBay.

I think this mainly affected things like early x86 CPUs and what-have-you. The Space Shuttles were of course frequently modernised, but IIRC, certain core components of the Space Shuttles were still on a technological level of the late 70s/ early 1980s.

Don't know how I got from CPU fans to Space Shuttles. My mind wanders.

>>404612

Do you read Mandarin?

>>404613

>Sony Vaio

There's your problem. They make nice kit, but they're completely devoid of common sense. Who remembers Memory Stick?

>>404616

You'd be amazed at how much archaic gear is still working in industry. A mate of mine specialises in maintaining obsolete kit, usually old minicomputers and mainframes used in industrial control or financial applications. His workshop looks like the world's worst computer museum - hulking great computers being torn apart for spares, shelves full of 8" floppy discs and archaic connectors.

>>404616
>some electronic spare parts for the Space Shuttles were so unobtainably out of stock that the engineers in charge of servicing the spacecraft frequently had to resort to buying them used off eBay.

I work in a high tech industry where the products have long lifespans and thus components regularly go out of date. Generally for us we find viable alternatives and OK it with the customer. Once it becomes too much of a rebuild a revision of the design is issued.

>>404617

>Who remembers Memory Stick? 

I remember buying a 1GB memory stick for my Sony digital camera ten years ago. The camera had 32MB internal memory, which was enough for a few dozen photos if you dialled down the resolution a bit. It had a memory stick slot, but no memory stick was included.

I think I paid 75 quid for the 1GB memory stick. These days, I don't think you can buy 1GB-anything anymore. Even a 32GB microSDHC card is rarely more than 10 quid these days.

>>404617


I live in China. This is hardly a problem.

>Katarina Johnson-Thompson would have won Olympic gold in the high jump - had she entered

http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/other-sports/athletics/katarina-johnson-thompson-would-won-8677164

The ironing is delicious.

>>404621
I believe the same was true of Ennis in 2012 in the hurdles too.

>>404621
What's supposed to be ironic about that?

>>404626
It's just like rain on your wedding day.

>>404626
IT'S LIKE TEN THOUSAND SPOONS WHEN ALL YOU NEED IS A WIFE.

She didn't enter the individual high jump because it wasn't her best event. In the end she finished the heptathlon well out of contention for the medals but her high jump result would have seen her coming home with a gold instead of empty handed.

>>404621

Blame Sea Shepherd Conservation Society.

Sea Shepherd Conservation Society is always to blame.

>>404634

Touché, .gs... touché...

One of the partitions on my disk seems to be buggered now. I have backups but the data on the partition is just more 'fresh' enough to warrant spending some time trying to un-fuck it. Looks like I know how I'll be spending the next week-end.

>>404642

I'm still struggling with my Sony Vaio laptop. I've ordered a new, used cooling fan assembly from a chap in Estonia on eBay, and it's probably going to take until the end of the week before it arrives here in the post and I can install it.

I had a brainwave tonight, in that I took some cooling packs from the freezer and placed them under my laptop. Being that I don't have a desktop PC at home (at the moment), my laptop is my only functioning computer, with or without a malfunctioning fan unit.

And it's working; I've downloaded a little piece of software that lets you see the CPU temperature, and for the last two hours, with the ice packs, the temperature has stayed between 60 and 70°C, even at full CPU load. Before I used the cooling packs, the laptop would regularly just quit and go dark from one moment to the next due to overheating, but now, it's not doing anything of that sort.

I'm not sure this is so good for the CPU in the long run, but it's only going to be for a few days... I just rang my cousin who is a network administrator at a bank, and he told me that it's probably best to avoid anything that puts the CPU under more stress than necessary at the moment.

>>404645
If you're getting overheating bad enough for it to shut down, then it's possible that you've already damaged the CPU.

>>404646

The way I understand it, a shutdown like that happens to prevent damage to the CPU in the first place, not because the CPU has already suffered damage.

>>404645
Back when I was trying to squeeze the life out of a very old laptop which similarly kept overheating and shutting down because the fan was fucked, I devised an ingenious system whereby I propped it up on a few books and directed the strongest setting of a desk fan to blow throw the gap.

Kept it working an extra 3-4 months and I felt like a genius.

>>404648
That doesn't mean that it's guaranteed to succeed in preventing it.

>>404649

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_H054zwCOY

>>404646
Not really. CPUs are generally resilient little beasts even if you overheat them quite drastically. You'll get endless overheating crashes in software before doing any damage to the CPU itself.

>>404645
>I took some cooling packs from the freezer and placed them under my laptop.
I don't think this is a particularly good idea. You're putting something that's going to create condensation directly by an air intake. This could introduce moisture inside the laptop. If you're unlucky you'll get a serious short somewhere and then you'll have another, potentially more substantial faulty component, like the laptop's motherboard.

You'll probably be fine, but I'd use something like >>404649 suggests for the next couple of days.

>>404759

>I don't think this is a particularly good idea. You're putting something that's going to create condensation directly by an air intake. This could introduce moisture inside the laptop.

Doesn't the cooling fan blow air out of the laptop?

I think I remember from when the CPU fan was still intact, that there was always a stream of air coming out of the laptop where there are ventilation slots on the side of my laptop, and not going in.

It's now three days that I've used the cooling pack method for cooling my laptop CPU, and so far, there have been no malfunctions. As soon as I get my replacement fan from Estonialad, I will install it.

Anybody know how long mail from Estonia to the UK takes?

>>404760
>Doesn't the cooling fan blow air out of the laptop?
And once that air is blown out, what happens?

>>404760
>Doesn't the cooling fan blow air out of the laptop?
It does, but where do you think it gets the cool air from?

>I think I remember from when the CPU fan was still intact, that there was always a stream of air coming out of the laptop where there are ventilation slots on the side of my laptop, and not going in.
Yes, the air input is likely underneath the laptop which is why >>404649's solution worked (and why you don't want it to be sitting on water).

>Anybody know how long mail from Estonia to the UK takes?
If you haven't got tracking I wouldn't count on any estimate being accurate. Hope it comes soon.

>>404763

Condensation is a much more complex phenomenon than you'd think.

In short, water vapor doesn't simply condensate just because you pass an air stream over a cool surface.

The moisture content of ambient air can vary greatly. If you're in the central Tropics, there is much more moisture in the air at any given point than in England on a dry late summer day. Also, depending on the air's moisture content, it has a specific dew point, at which, given a certain air pressure, that moisture will condensate, and also form liquid water drops on cool surfaces.

Very probably, inside my laptop, you will have the two countering effects of heat that is produced by the CPU and other electronic components, and the cooling which at the moment, with my broken fan, stems from a cooling pack on which my laptop rests, and which draws heat energy away from the inside of the laptop. One would probably have to take precise measurements, but my guess is there's a good chance that the air temperature inside my laptop will not go down to dew point.

And I've just touched the underside of my laptop, it is cool, but not ice cold. I'd say it has about 15, maybe 20°C. That kind of temperature is likely only present on the surface of the outer shell of my laptop, and the plastic inside the laptop will almost certainly be warmer.

Of a dozen laptops I received in a critical condition, hardware-wise, ten had their intake stuffed with bits of sandwich, weaved with pubes and spider nests. Not one had this essential bit of maintenance as anything less than the most difficult bit of work to get right. Do I smell a cuntspiracy?

>>404768

>weaved with pubes

Mirth.

I cleaned the inside of my ex girlfriend's desktop computer once. She complained to me that her computer would sporadically "simply quit" and go dark.

So I opened it, and there was about a one-centimetre cover of felt on the CPU fan's heat sink. Not just dust, but a thick cover of felt. If you want your CPU to die of a heat stroke in the long run, there's hardly a better way than that, short of just letting it run without a cooling fan at all.

Also, some spiders had made her computer case their home, and there were cobwebs and other dust everywhere.

I spent a good five to ten minutes gently removing all the dust with the brush tip of her household vacuum cleaner, while my girlfriend was looking on astonished.

I told her that probably the computer was just located in an environment where there is a lot of dust in the air. Well, don't say that to a woman. She took it personally, as if I was insinuating that she wasn't doing a proper job at keeping her flat clean.

Bank holiday weekend coming lads.

Does that merit a thread of its own?

Fucking hell, I have been looking for the weekend thread but just kept seeing that picture and assumed it was something to do with the olympics and kept scrolling.

>>404764
>my guess is there's a good chance that the air temperature inside my laptop will not go down to dew point.
Indeed, there's almost no chance of this while it's warmed up, especially if it's running at the temperatures you mention.

It still doesn't mean that it's a good idea to sit your laptop on top of a bunch of ice. I have no idea what kind of cold/ice packs you're using, or whether you're going to remember to move the laptop after you're done using it, or forget and switch it off leaving the packs in place (etc) so I err on the side of caution when handing out advice, especially given that in this instance it's your only computer.

(You seem to have a solid grasp of the risks, sage for lecturing.)

I have to write a 15000 word dissertation by Tuesday.

>>404783

You better put the kettle on and get cracking.

>>404784
This. You'll want a three-bag cuppa with milk, sugar and coke.

>>404778

Really? I'd assumed it was some vile fat bird thread from /x/ being accidentally cross-posted.

>>404783

What's this dissertation for? What's your general topic?

My thesis only had 45 pages. Our professors strongly believed that ideas should always be expressed concisely, and that if a graduate can't present their ideas convincingly on 45 pages, they will struggle to do so on 100 or even more pages.

In a certain way, that actually made it more difficult. It's easy to write rubbish on 100 pages which nobody will ever fully read anyway, because they will just glance over the introduction, have a look here and there at the 100 pages themselves, and then just ponder your two-page conclusion.

With 45 pages, there's a much greater chance that somebody will actually read your thesis from beginning to end. And uncover your flawed reasoning or clerical errors you have made.

>>404787
Masters degree in a technology based management MSc. It is a comparison of Cryptocurrencies. That's all I know about it, I haven't actually thought of anything because when I took my proposal to my supervisor he said it was too big and PhD level. I have thus not found anything smaller. I half decided to do a comparison of cryptocurrencies on the basis of energy sustainability but I think this is too complex to do in five days. I sort of have to stick to it because I have no idea what else. All I've written is a concise explanation of what Bitcoin is. I've decided to steal the reasoning from another paper to decide what other cryptocurrencies to compare, based on market capitalisation and sufficient t difference from Bitcoin (ie. Not forks).

So I guess that's 2000 words total. I don't mind it being too short as long as it's not too short. I think k 12000 words should do it but fuck me, I've left this way too late. I told myself I'd do it before I started my job, which i started a week and a half ago.


I've passed the course sort of but if I fail the dissertation module I don't know what happens. I just want it to be good enough to pass. I'm already drafting my email to my supervisor in my head explaining how this is not a reflection on his capability and is solely my own failure.

>>404788
Note, I>>404788
Sorry for the spelling and such, phoneposting. The rambling incoherence is my own fault. I haven't yet got into the cycle of going to bed at the right time so am having about 12 hours sleep a week and then 14 hours sleep at weekends.

>>404788
Are you still able to go to campus? Or at least ring student support and try to get some extenuating circumstances, e.g. starting your new job, moving away from home, dead family pets, etc.

These academics and staff do want you to pass, so open up to them and establish a paper trail.

>>404788
Generally MSc level dissertations aren't something they spring on you with five days notice. What have you been doing for the whole rest of the year, jerking off? God help whichever poor sods you end up 'managing' in the future.

>>404791
No, I'm going to send it by courier on Tuesday. It will cost me about £150 regardless of how shit it is.

>>404792
Been on my plate about three months. Walking mostly.

I also have a MSc level dissertation but I had the choice to submit it either in September and December. Done fuck all on mine. I remember doing my undergrad dissertation in three weeks. Damn near killed me and that was only 12,000 words. Got a 58% for that but still managed to scrape a 2:1. 5 days to write a good chunk of a masters level dissertation and expect a decent grade is not on the cards, lad.

>>404783
Like the other lads have said, get cracking on it.

Its not impossible just make sure you do a decent plan and stick with it. Read this webpage as its got some decent tips:
https://thesiswhisperer.com/2015/01/16/how-to-write-10000-words-a-day/

Yeah you need to email your supervisor and consider speaking to your doctor about stress and trouble sleeping so you have a medical reason on record -you may be able to extend the deadline so these avenues are worth chasing.

I'm writing around 15k words for the 1st to finish my MRes (its a personal goal for a draft) so you're not entirely alone. Getting your topic down could be difficult so focus on a specific area and if you run short of wordcount put into your conclusion that X,Y,Z areas have been missed due to the constraints of your research.

>>404796
I wrote my undergraduate dissertation in 2 weeks and got something in the mid-60s. It damn near killed me too but working close to a deadline isn't going to fuck you too much if you do a decent amount of planning.

>>404797
There's plenty of stories in my uni area about people who've managed to complete a dissertation in a day. It's simply not possible to complete one and have a passing grade in one day. They're chatting shit. It's only possible if there's been extensive planning and all that remains is to write down it all.

I have done assignments that contain 4000+ words in a day before and got respectable marks for it. Dissertations on the other hand isn't the length that kills you it's the planning. It's when you're writing your lit review to completion and you realise that you've only written 2500 words and you think you'll never reach your target of roughly 15k at this pace. My undergrad dissertation had an issue in that I hadn't performed my primary research and due to my shite planning I had to do it two weeks before the deadline. Which meant a good chunk of my dissertation had to be complete in that time. I spent most of my time in those total of three weeks living in the library only going home to sleep.

In the end I submitted it online 15 minutes before the deadline. Luckily my uni had made it so you submit it online first and you had 3 days to print and bind two copies for physical submission. There was plenty of non-important stuff missing like acknowledgements in it too.

The fact I haven't made the progress I wanted in my Msc thesis is making me anxious even if it is in for December.

>>404798

>I have done assignments that contain 4000+ words in a day before and got respectable marks for it.

I did a fifteen-page paper in two and a half days once, from scratch without preparation.

It was for this one class/seminar, and I was supposed to give my presentation Wednesday afternoon. On Monday morning, I ran into the professor on the stairs, and he said, "Ah, it's you... well, I'm looking forward to hearing your presentation on Wednesday".

And I thought, oh shit. I thought my paper wasn't due until two weeks after that. So I skipped classes, went to the library, and spent the rest of the day there compiling sources. And then on Wednesday morning, I actually had a paper ready. I thought it was complete shit, but when I was done with my presentation, the professor leafed through my handout one more time, and then said, "Very well done. Everybody, THIS is how I want a paper done in this class!"

>>404801

Yup. I did two from scratch in 17 hours. I do not advise it, either physically or mentally, and I definitely was not celebrating with friends after handing them in, but those were two cracking dissertations.

You really do need to get on it lad. Ma I advise spending a full day planning and then hit the writing?

I've decided to accept the late penalty of 10% so now I have to send it off by next Monday.

During the absolute nadir of my freelance career, I wrote a 200 page manual for a safety-critical system in four days. I hope no-one died.

>>404801
I've done that where I basically vomited on a piece of paper and thought the best I could expect was a passing grade. Then end up getting a 2:1 or above somehow.

I have learned when I actually make an effort I tend to get lower marks. I had to write a paper with two sections. First section was roughly 1000 words and they expected 5000 for the second section. Both sections were worth 50/50 marks. I basically sacked off the 5000 word section and worked on the 1000 more. I wrote maybe 3000 words for the 5000 because I didn't think it was worth the time. Got a favourable grade. My highest grade this year came from a mini dissertation that I decided to do the night before.

I've had so many people say to me "if you put the effort in you could get better grades" and they're lying bastards. I made a huge effort on one assignment this year and it's my second lowest grade (after a technical problem occurred trying to complete another assignment).

>>404806
Most places fit raw project and exam marks to a normal curve, so the fact you got a higher grade in the one you spent less time on doesn't actually mean that you did better in that, just that everyone else did worse in it.

There's also the fact that you are inferring a lack of correlation between effort and grade from a sample size of ... 2? I hope you aren't taking a quantitative subject.

>>404806

>I've had so many people say to me "if you put the effort in you could get better grades" and they're lying bastards.

I think it all depends. Sometimes, an assignment is just so shit that no matter what you do, it's going to be very hard to get good marks on it. I remember an assignment from my first year at uni which consisted of a highly theoretical treatise of the history of theories in a certain field. Typical first semester stuff, where they think you need to learn about the body of theories that exists in what might well become your future area of expertise. It just dragged on forever, and I initially pretty much understood fuck all about the books that I was half-reading for that paper. I really wanted it to be good, because this was my first semester and I was really still very idealistic about being a student and wanting to learn new things. I didn't do particularly well on it, and it showed me that I am not a very "theroetical" person, and for the rest of uni, I avoided assignments on subjects that were too steeped in dull theory.

Enjoying the warm evening weather on my balcony.

The couple downstairs are arguing again. "Again" meaning, they do this almost every other night at the moment. I'm not saying it has no entertainment value (I can hear every word that's being shouted or screamed), but it's really kind of a chav thing to do. And on other occasions, I have distinctly heard plates or glasses being thrown and furniture being knocked over.

>>404822

Poltergeists. I had neighbours complaining about the noise and smashing things but it was just a poltergeist that lived in my flat. I used to annoy it senseless until it decided to go away and probably make banging noises on the ceiling and throw cups somewhere else. Used to do this really cool thing where it would continually roll toilet roll onto the floor and flush the toilet every 5 minutes.

>>404834

Maybe your medication isn't right for you after all.

Self-sage for being a cunt.

I was recently released from a five month stint in jail. When I went in I was addicted to opiates and very recently out of a long term relationship. I'm single and very sober now.

I've got quite a bit of social anxiety and I'm very uncomfortable with life in general. I'm not really sure what to do with myself but I think I'll try socializing.

>>404837

>I've got quite a bit of social anxiety and I'm very uncomfortable with life in general. I'm not really sure what to do with myself but I think I'll try socializing.

Cheers to you, m8t. Although you weren't in for a longer stretch of time, it must be tough starting your life over when you've been away at Her Maj's.

Just take life one step at a time. Nobody's expecting miracles from you over night. And keep thinking positive and stay within a frame of mind of wanting a better life for yourself now. That's a good way to stay on the straight and narrow.

>>404837

Regarding your anxiety, see your GP sooner rather than later. Anxiety is the most treatable mental health disorder, so don't just put up with it. Ask for CBT, because it's the most effective treatment in the long term. There's a fairly long waiting list in most areas for CBT, so think about whether medication might be a good option in the short term. SSRIs like Citalopram are effective treatments and aren't sedating or addictive.

Regarding your addiction, get in touch with a support agency. You might not think you need it, but it's good to have a support network in place just in case. I think Addaction are excellent, but there are lots of good agencies out there. Addaction can also provide support for your social anxiety.

http://www.addaction.org.uk/services

If you need help or advice in finding work, get in touch with NACRO. When I first got out I was terrified to apply for jobs, but NACRO were absolutely brilliant.

https://www.nacro.org.uk/resettlement-advice-service/support-for-individuals/

>>404834

Apparently I'm haunted. An ex of mine claimed to be a white witch. She wasn't a practicing pagan or anything like that, but she said over the years she noticed she had an extremely accurate intuition and a mild touch of clairvoyance, both of which I've seen. I thought the same of myself, but I had something of a mental breakdown and dismissed the lot as mental illness. While I was with her though, funny things which I thought were in my head would be picked up by her as well. We'd start to see ghosts, very very briefly, for like 0.2 of a second, but she'd describe the ghost and it was a figure that I had seen myself. We saw a burnt man, and shortly after there'd sometimes be the smell of burning in our bedroom. We had cats, and some 3-4 month old kittens, which would on a couple of occasions stare into space and make some very scared noises, always in the same place. My dreams started getting crazy. She thought that I might be haunted, and because we became so close and she considered herself a witch, whatever it was haunting me started acting up more because it didn't want me with her. I'd have called crazy or bullshit if anyone told me this, I even doubted her on occasion, but there were too many times where what she was saying verified an experience of my own that I hadn't told her about.

Spooky.

>>404842

The mind is pretty good at fooling its own self into all kinds of rubbish. Thinking really does make it so. If you're wandering in the dark somewhere and think too much about the possibility of somebody lurking behind the next tree who might do you harm, then before long, you could get to a point where you'll swear you saw a person's face behind that one tree over there. There have been experiments where people were voluntarily put inside a completely lightless and soundproof room for a few hours. Deprived of both visual and acoustic stimuli, it took most test subjects only one or two hours before their brains were making up things that simply weren't there, like voices or shadows. They were full-on hallucinating.

It's one reason why sensory deprivation is considered a measure of inhumane torture by the UN.

The ultimate test of being able to keep your shit together inside your brain is probably to walk alone through a cemetary at night. There will definitely be no ghosts, because no ghost has ever been observed by means of any kind of robust, self respecting scientific method. And yet, it will be very difficult for you to leave that cemetary not having gone crazy with fear and not swearing that you saw ghosts there.

And as far as intuition, well... some people are equipped with heightened sensitivity towards non-verbal communication and towards "vibes" between the people around them. That's an enviable trait to have, but there's nothing spooky about that at all.

Ultimately, it's all in your head. And if you want my opinion, your ex was royally fucking with yours.

>>404842

Well I had a friend round my flat as they were into ghosty stuff and they wanted to see my poltergeist. The best part of the evening was helping a small nest table walk round the room (we just kept a hand each on the top).

>>404837
Steer clear of the crims m8.

>>404842
>She thought that I might be haunted, and because we became so close and she considered herself a witch, whatever it was haunting me started acting up more because it didn't want me with her.

Now I've watched enough Scooby Doo to be more than a little suspicious of this story. For one thing you were clearly vulnerable and she obviously has charlatan tendencies, perhaps this was her way of controlling you whether she did it consciously or perhaps believed it herself. Then again if you had at the time taken to hanging around a orphan Latino boy then she might have been one of the thirteen ghosts and we'll need to track her down to trap her inside a chest.

Pets staring into space is pretty normal too. I know cats are semi-wild but they're not the smartest specimens of the animal kingdom.

>>404845

Are you insinuating someone would exploit the mental state of their romantic partner in order to gain greater leverage or make themself feel special?

I am shocked and appalled by your cynicism.

>>404842

I envy you. Me and my girlfriend took 3 tabs of acid and sat up till midnight watching paranormal sighting videos, then took a walk in the corn field behind my house, and we still didn't manage to see anything spooky. Tell me your secrets.

>>404848

>Are you insinuating someone would exploit the mental state of their romantic partner in order to gain greater leverage or make themself feel special?

Oh no, that would of course be absurd.


>I know cats are semi-wild but they're not the smartest specimens of the animal kingdom.

Our cat was quite smart. She could jump up at door handles and open doors that way, and when we had a roast or some other meat thawing on the kitchen counter, she knew to only go in the kitchen when we were all in the livingroom, unsuspecting.

Cats have been a highly adaptive taxon, which has spread across the globe with many different species. They're indeed quite a success story of evolution. And unlike dogs which were bred by humans for tens of thousands of years to become vapid, obedient creatures, cats actually domesticated themselves. It seemed like a good deal to them, hunting varmints in exchange for even more food and a roof over their heads.

>>404851
>And unlike dogs which were bred by humans for tens of thousands of years to become vapid, obedient creatures, cats actually domesticated themselves.

This is a poor characterisation of dogs, and I take issue any time someone suggests dogs are servile or unintelligent because of their unusually close relationship with us. Dogs can be made to respond from fear of punishment just like any animal. But by that standard, lions, elephants and indeed humans would also have to be classed as 'vapid, obedient creatures'.

Their exceptionally adaptive response to 'training' (which in my opinion is a false concept, it's far more like two-way communication) is exactly the opposite, a mark of intelligence. Some organisations like The American Psychological Association equates some dog behaviours, like the ability to count and learn words, as about on par with a 2 or 3 year old child. Even that's a bit misleading though, as dogs excel in other behaviours which are difficult to formally test. Pick up a book by Jennifer Arnold called 'Through A Dog's Eyes' if you want to know about informal experiments undertaken by experienced trainers.

My takeaway from that Asian wok kitchen place down the road just got delivered.

Spicy mushroom ramen. Never disappoints.

It's too fucking muggy.

I went bramble picking this morning but I've now seen a few maggots on them so I'm slightly put off eating them. I've picked just under 1.1kg, so it's going to be shitloads of crumble.

>>404857
A few maggots wont hurt you.

If you're still worried, put them in a bowl full of water for half an hour or so, it's meant to force any maggots and things out.

>>404852

>informal experiments undertaken by experienced trainers.

I bought a box of refreshers ice-lollies. I don't regret this.

>>404848
What makes you think I would go with something so mundane? The cartoon series '13 Ghosts of Scooby-Doo' actually only had the gang catching 12 which means 1 is still on the loose somewhere.

He was clearly knobbing a ghost or possibly a ghoul.

>>404852
Lets not go too far there. Dogs are inbred retards compared to their wolf cousins and won't be passing any mirror test.

>>404860

Where from? they sound delightful

>>404859

It's a possibility that the observations are untrue, but unlike counting, these characteristics are hard to measure.

>>404857

Brambles aren't ripe here yet. There's a few hedges, each of them probably a good 50 to 75 yards long, along the river bank outside town where I like to ride my bicycle.

Problem is, there is a council estate just adjacent to that river bank where they grow, and the chavs fine chaps there tend to pick them off long before they're fully ripe.

Brambles are kind of a fickle fruit to harvest; if you pick them too early, even if they've already turned their typical dark colour, they will be essentially flavourless and just very sour and acidic. But if you wait too long, others will have picked them all before you ever get to them.

>>404862
Tesco express does 6 for £1

As usual all plans fell through again. Not my fault as usual. Tired of all this. Just going to destroy myself with litres of rum like always.

>>404866

Don't do that.

I admit that's not a convincing argument, but I can't think of any situation where passing out due to alcohol is a good idea.

>>404867

Oh well. Sometimes, getting yourself drunk off your tits can be quite therapeutic. If it remains a one-off occurrence.

Sometimes, it's about the only way to find refuge from very serious problems for a few hours. And you can still tackle your problems two days later when you're sober again and not hungover anymore.

>>404869
I'm sat here in much the same boat numbing my feelings of loneliness with drink but I'm going to try and halfway house it and stick to just one glass of posh Aldi cider. (Actually very nice, I usually hate cider but this is much more flavourful than most tap shit you get in the pub - medium dry, a little on the sweet side which suits me, with a really good nose and subtle on the palate.) I tried to get people to come round my house for dinner but apparently it's fucking impossible to tempt people into a free meal (?!).

Fuck the lot of 'em. At least I have you, .gs. My only constant. My dearest perennial. I might even post in the ginger thread out of gratitude.

>>404870
So I've eaten dinner and I'm still being a big baby about being on my own tonight so I'm going to revert to my time-tested method of cheering myself up which involves running a bath full of my erstwhile girlfriend's smellies, propping my laptop on the toilet to watch shit whilst drinking a GHB cocktail.

Does anyone have any comedy recommendations of what to watch? I like dark/black/British comedy especially, so anything in the vein of Ten Storeys High or Monkey Dust would be ideal. I'll accept imports as long as they're suitably grim.

>>404871
I was reminiscing about my underage drinking days and went to buy some Special Brew last weekend, until I saw it was about £8 for a four pack.

>>404642
Fiddled with it a bit today. Unsure if it had been totally broken right from the start or it was I and my blunders. Either way it is lost.

Right now I'm pondering what I'm going to do with it. Will probably try to perform a fresh install but what OS? It used to run Linux because of the other people in the house who would tear Windows to shreds downloading and executing malware and plain utter shite software. They aren't here anymore. My choices for software are quite universal. Choices, choices.

I'm out of tea. Found a pack of coffee beans in one of the drawers. Roast 'em, grind 'em, steep 'em. Not so bad for a beginner. But I desperately want some green cherry-flavoured tea.

>>404872

I take it you've seen Jam?

Bojack Horseman is surprisingly bleak for a cartoon about an anthropomorphic horse. It's the ideal counterpart to a self-pitying drinking binge.

>>404870

> glass of posh Aldi cider

I think I've had that one; not bad, considering...

Not a cider fan though, really. My favourite low-cost glug has become budget dry Italian white wine. Something in the £4-£5 price range. Lidl have a nice selection of it, as does Asda on occasion.

Seriously, step Jamb. I'm sick of clearing your jam up. If this keeps continue up I l willll literally kill you.

>>404876

>>404866 Here. Literally what I ended up watching. Sorry >>404867.

This happened on Thurdsday but sure that's close enough to the weekend.

Been on Tinder (you know where this is going), getting the hang of just asking girls out after a while and getting in the habit of messaging everyone I match with, a strategy that seems to be working. Messaged this cute girl from about 75 miles away, she's got a look about her that I'd describe as 'my type' (sort of a messy brunette that's probably into arty shite), we get chatting and she says she's free for the next week before her job starts again (she's a teacher).

We have a date on Thursday, she shows me round this city a bit that I've only been to a couple of times and it's going good. She's a bit of an oddball, but so am I so that's grand.
Have a few beers in the most hipster pub I've been to in my life, I get chatting about what she's feeling tonight and joke about tinder just being for hookups as ya do. She gets a bit annoyed at me and accuses me of just looking a ride off her - I wasn't specifically but hey, I don't usually date people nearly 100 miles away so I'm open to anything. She doesn't end the date, we get a few beers and continue drinking in a park somewhere. Snog her, but have to get the train. She tries to lead me back to the station but we get cut off by the fact the whole fucking road on the chosen route is dug up to fix an incredibly poor planning decision to do with the tram system, so we have to go a long route round. I miss my train, so we end up drinking at more hipster pubs (including "american themed bar in which you access the beer garden through a large open window") which is fun.
She lets me stay over at hers, which is an experience as her room is currently missing most of the plasterwork off the ceiling and it's actively still falling apart, it's being redecorated and there's no bed. So we get to make up a mattress for the floor, great bonding exercise.
We have slightly awkward drunk sex. I'll give marks for enthusiasm though, and we have less awkward, sober and better sex in the morning before I leave (she initiated it too). She gets dressed and walks me to the tram station. Then I have to go to work at 11am after having about three hours sleep the night before and taking a near 2 hour train journey back home. Luckily I wasn't hung over.

Not an experience I've had before. The girl was class but she wants to leave it at that (I've been ghosted), can't complain really, had sex.
Now I'm just hoping I didn't catch anything.

>>404880

>Now I'm just hoping I didn't catch anything.

>>404880
She got annoyed because she thought you were only looking for casual sex, and then eventually has casual sex with you?

>>404880
You traveled 75 miles for a Tinder date? I mean, clearly it paid off for you but still. Furthest I've traveled is the 10 minute walk into town. I wouldn't gamble on a train fare and trust a random stranger not to flake.

>>404882

I don't understand either.

>>404883

I was a bit skeptical to be honest, but I pre-booked the ticket so it wasn't any more expensive than my daily commute and I hadn't been down to the city for a while. Would've just had a dander if she didn't turn up, it's a pretty great place.

>>404880
Last month I had a tinder date with a girl that is 40 miles away from me.

I was crashing at a friend's flat in my uni city for a week back in early July and was pissing about with tinder. Matched with her and spoke daily until near end of July. I had gone back to my parent's house at this point and we agreed to meet up. She pretty much said things were going to happen so I get a train ticket to return the next day. The texts we sent went from normal small talk to pretty much knowing each other's sexual history (including both looking for a relationship rather than a fling) and a promise of a massage. No issue if nothing happened anyway, I know enough people in my uni city that if I needed to crash somewhere I have a place to go. I brought my backpack with a spare set of clothes that I was going to drop off at a friend's place. I get my train and turns out no one is in. I message tinder girl to say I was going to a friends before I met up with her but I had to admit I'll have my backpack with me due to my friend's absence.

We meet up and it starts to rain. So she suggests we go back to hers to drop off my bag. We get to hers and the rain gets worse. So of course we stay in until the rain stops. I'm oblivious as fuck normally so yeah I should have seen what came next. We're being all touchy feely while we watch a couple of TV shows on her laptop. It was only until we got about halfway during an episode of Bob's Burgers we're snogging up a storm. She asks for a full body massage. She shows me where the baby oil is and she begins stripping down to her knickers. I was facing away during this and she was on her bed face down. Now massages always lead to more. I tried to be gentlemanly and stuck to the less naughty areas. It didn't last too long and I was getting more dangerous. She turned over and I begun massaging her breasts. Big brown nipples with pepperoni sized areola. Progressed further until I took her underwear off and went down on her.

I'll save the gory details but it went from that to fingering, handjob, fingering again, more handjobs, eating out and blowjob and handjob combo. She'll later tell me I gave her five orgasms. I know unless she's acting borderline retarded at the end of it and I can feel it on my finger/dick I should take it with a grain of salt. I know she had one definite orgasm so boy points for me. On the other hand it took me two hours to come the first time. That and nerves were getting the better of me so I had some temp ED.

After showering we went pub (because the rain had stopped) had one drink and went back to hers for some more fun. Didn't have sex until the morning after. Bareback too...it's a good thing due to testicular cyst issues I have a lower chance of getting someone up the duff, I saw her pills in the bathroom, I pulled out a full minute before coming and plus I got myself checked out no minor beefy poz for me. Issue I was having the slight ED issue during the sex and she was convinced I didn't find her attractive. Untrue as my nerves were really overhyped. I was going soft as I tried to put the condom on for another go so we stuck to fooling around.

Long story short I was meant to meet her again. Cracked my tooth the night before we were meant to meet so I had to cancel. I made it worse as I had previously planned to see my friends the day after I was meant to meet her and I dumb arsed told her I was meeting my friends. Now she won't bloody talk to me. At least she won't give me a full sentence. Gave me the whole we should be friends for now. I got friendzoned after sex. Me being the persistent bastard I am have been trying to talk to her every other day for the last month on WhatsApp trying to salvage it. It's not going well and I genuinely saw something for her. She either deleted her tinder or unmatched me at some point and played me. I ended up getting drunk at paid for tinder plus in my melancholic state and my luck gets worse when I've had three matches since and two of them unmatched me.

>>404885
That's pretty funny. I'm ok with laughing at you as you got laid so it's ok.

I'm totally wasted on wine but it's ok, I had a great conversation until 5am with my stupidly attractive friend. Half the pleasure of hanging out with her is that every other bloke gives me dirty looks when they assume we're dating or whatever. But she's really good to talk to, turns out that the friend she set me up with ended it because she was intimidated or something. Lovely people. Female friends are great.

>>404885

>testicular cyst

My bank holiday's off to a chequered start.

Anyway why didn't you just turn up at her place like a mad bastard mad bastard from a film?

>>404882
>She got annoyed because she thought you were only looking for casual sex, and then eventually has casual sex with you?

It's called being a woman having your cake and eating it. By all means meet up for casual sex, but don't explicitly mention that you've met up for casual sex because they don't want to feel cheap.

>>404887
When I was meeting my friend and she messaged me the whole friendzoned business I said Ill drop what I'm doing and see her. She said we shouldn't meet.

I would be likely to do the mad bastard like they do in the film's thing if I didn't immediately think of the consequences. In that fucking Love Actually film some daft spastic jumps through airport security and I'd imagine you'd get shot, double tapped if you're not white. Very unrealistic film. Point is I'd rather not ruin it by looking like a stalker plus it would be a fucking trek to get up to.

How many numbers is a phone number supposed to have? Mine has twelve.

>>404885

Tough luck, old chap. You sound like a relatively young lad so try not to be too down about the whole affair- You will have plenty more train rides to foreign cities to have awkward sex with a girl who friendzones you afterwards. That's what being young is about, embrace it.

I was at a house party the other night with a load of student types about 6-7 years younger than me. Doesn't sound like much of a difference but it can really make you feel like a cynical old git listening to the types of conversation young folks have (mostly this thing called snapchat), but alas, this is beside the point. I try to avoid such situations, because I know exactly how it goes; but my girlfriend insisted I accompany her because her ex was going to be there. Inevitably, social anxiety and the feeling of being out of place got the better of me, and I got blackout drunk on a combination of mead, tequila, vodka and fuck knows what else within about 4 hours of everyone showing up. Missed most of the party because I was passed out on the sofa in the front room.

Needless to say I feel terrible about myself. Such is life eh lads.

>>404888
Fuck off with that 'women logic' shite please.

>>404890
Eleven. Are you counting in base nine by mistake?

>>404895

I fucking hate those little games women play.

For example, my ex girlfriend was madly in love with me, and that wasn't a bad thing in and of itself, but the problem was that all our interactions were interspersed with her little mind games with which she tried to test me and evaluate if I was a "keeper", and somebody who took our relationship seriously. She was about to become a dentist, and one time when she visited me (she was from another city), we were strolling along the city centre and walked past a building complex with loads of doctor's offices in it. So she said, "Now this looks like a place where it'd be nice to have a practice". I just said "Looks ugly to me". She looked at me as if I had said that her cat or her little brother looked ugly to me. It only dawned on me later on that she wasn't disappointed because of our diverging tastes in urban architecture. This was a test if I could imagine her moving here and settling down with me once she'd be a fully licenced dentist.

Or one time we were talking about other couples splitting up and dividing their stuff up amongst each other again, and she said, "Boy, it'd be a real hassle putting all the many things I've got at your flat in a bag and moving them out again". So I just said, "meh, I'm sure you'd manage. You're always so organised". Wrong answer again. According to her playbook, I probably would have had to say "Oh, but we'll never break up, don't you know that, oh love of my life?"

Fuck all that. Women have a problem with the fact that four out of five times, to us men, language is simply a means of communicating a status quo. No subtext, no hints, no hidden meanings involved. If I'm at my girlfriend's flat and trying to whip up a nice dinner in her kitchen (cooking and good food are one of my hobbies), and I go through the list of ingredients I need, and I say "You wouldn't happen to have dried tomatoes, would you?", then it doesn't call into question her abilities in good housekeeping, but it's simply a question to verify if I can cook the recipe that I've got in my head with the ingredients that she has present in her kitchen.

Much as women tend to tell us that we've got a lot to learn about that kind of communication, I think it's actually women who have yet to learn that that's just not the way the male brain tends to work.

>>404894
I'm 28 so relatively young but not young. Depends how you define it. Nearly finished my masters and as luck will have it I am going through the job interview process which explains why I'm at the parent's house like a sad act.

The girl in question is 26 so you'd think we'd stop playing games. I'm basically trying to coax out a simple "I don't even want to be friends so stop messaging" so we stop wasting each other's time. Or you know a "we should try again" would be nice but lets be honest, it's unlikely.

>>404897
>My ex-girlfriend was a git so now I have a problem with ALL WOMEN

Well I've been to Prague, had a lovely time, and couldn't get an erection to lose my virginity to the wrong prostitute in one of Europe's largest brothels. I've had better weeks.

>>404922
Maybe that's for the best. Try the right prostitute next time.

>>404923

Aye, maybe so. There was an internal computer system showing the available girls. The busty, curly blonde I originally desired wasn't available when I arrived at her room. It was arranged in a grid system, and I recalled a redhead was two blocks over in a corner room. Alas, I think I overshot by a block and already had my kegs off by the time I realised it wasn't th e same one and she didn't even speak English. You know how the lighting is in these places.

It was cheap but I think it's a black stain on my psyche. Always been able to get my chap up whenever somebody's wanted to play with it. Had a few wanks since and wondered whether I could actually perform some of the sexual fantasies desired during.

It's my son's birthday party on Friday night and I am dreading it. I am going to hide in my "office" until most of his scrote mates fuck off. The last thing I want is to put up with a group of pissed up teenagers. What they don't know is that the ones under 18 will get black zip ties around their wrists and the others a white one. One more year and he will be the same age as me when he was born.

>>404960

You doing a noncing or summat? Ar we all invited?

>>404960
>What they don't know is that the ones under 18 will get black zip ties around their wrists and the others a white one.

This is a joke right? You realise that you have to be over 18 to buy alcohol, not to consume it?

>>404962
His house, his rules.

You might as well argue that smoking cigarettes is legal so he has to let people light up in his living room.

>>404963
Not really, considering that not smoking indoors is pretty common courtesy for most smokers I know. Just seems daft if my understanding is correct (i.e. that he's going to segregate drinkers/non-drinkers by age at what is presumably an 18th birthday party). I can understand if you don't want a bunch of pissed teenagers round your house, but then don't have a party at all (or book a function room somewhere else for it). This just seems like a strange kind of half-arsing, and one that definitely won't make you much more popular than if you didn't have a party at all.

>>404965

Don't worry, I'm sure teenagers are smart enough to get their hands on a black marker pen and ruin cuntdadlad's nefarious fun-stealing plans.

>>404964
I agree that it's a bit of a dickhead move but he is not under any obligation to allow the party to take place at all. If his son would rather it took place at a function hall somewhere he is free to spend his own money hiring one.

Personally I was always laid back about drinking and the like when my son was a teenager but that was my choice and I fully supported parents who took a stricter approach.

>>404966
I don't doubt this either. There is no way in hell the plan will actually work as intended. I don't think "cuntdadlad" is unaware of this fact, in my experience most parents are actually secretly proud when their kids manage to outsmart them.

>>404967
I have asked the various parents of the boys who are coming about whether they are allowed for their kids to drink. Those who are are under 18 and not allowed will have the black zip ties. It's basically like the big X underage kids hands at the old hard-core punk shows in the states. Except you can't just go and wash it off.

I couldn't really give a toss about who does or does not drink,but whilst they are in my charge I am going by their parents' rules. My lad isn't 18 until Tuesday, but this is what he wanted to do. Just have a barbecue and some mates over.

>>404968
This sounds perfectly reasonable to me. In fact I can't imagine a parent who was strict just for the sake of it would actually bother to go to all the effort of even figuring out who can drink and who can't, they'd just say no party and that would be that.

Cheers responsibledadlad. I'm sure your son appreciates your concern very much even though he probably won't admit it until he has children of his own.

>>404968
Wow, never out of all the 18th birthdays I went to years ago did the hosting parents think to phone up mine and ask if I was allowed a few cans of Strongbow. I guess it was understood that anyone whose parents were strict enough to forbid them a single drop of alcohol at 17 probably weren't allowed outside the house unguarded, and they probably didn't have any mates to invite them out anyway.

The states comparison says it all really, my understanding is that in a lot of places there families still have these prohibition-era ideas about 'the demon drink'. I wasn't aware it existed nearly as much over here.

Are you and/or the parents you rung Bible-bashing members of the God-squad by any chance?

>>404970
It's more that some parents don't want to have their kids chucking their guts up after 3 litres of cheap cider.
I only got in touch with all the parents after being contacted by 2 of them asking if there would be drinking at the party.

I think stories about me being a bit lax with regards to alcohol consumption. Mainly the story of my lad filling his tent at Download this year with puke. Me being a responsible parent spent the morning taking the piss before driving him into Derby to go get him some new jeans because he only brought the one pair.

>>404970
>Wow, never out of all the 18th birthdays I went to years ago did the hosting parents think to phone up mine and ask if I was allowed a few cans of Strongbow.
There wouldn't have been much point back when most people didn't have phones.

>>404972

What did you do in the war, granddad?

Finally getting around to watching the 11th series of It's Always Sunny. The quality has really dropped after the first two episodes.

>>404972

My parents were a bit overprotective of me still when I was 17 or 18. I had just got my licence and had a cheap-ish old VW Golf, and I often drove to parties with it, together with all my mates. Well, one time, my mum called at a house where we were having a party, and asked the random person who picked up the phone if they could kind of keep an eye on me that night at the party, so I wouldn't drink and drive.

Few things were as humiliating for teenlad me as the moment when that person hollered over the loud music, for everybody to hear, "Hey, Anon, your mum just called. She wants me to keep an eye on you tonight so you're not going to drink and drive!"

Even the Inbetweeners probably would have thought that that was a bit much.

>>405027
That is shameful. My commiserations.

New(ish) girlfriend and I told each other we loved each other for the first time on Thursday and have been shagging like rabbits ever since. I really enjoy this phase of a relationship.

Here we go again, lads.

I'm happy and just had to tell someone, sorry.

>>405031
I don't know that feel(ing).

>>405031

I've been seeing my present girlfriend for nearly six months and we still haven't said that.

It's because I don't love her. I should really end it before I utterly break her heart, but having a girlfriend is just a very convenient method of defacto companionship for when your ladm8s are all being cunts and staying in with their families instead of partying like they used to the fucking pussy whipped fucking cunts.

>>405031
That's a lovely bit of the relationship.

>>405033
Hang on, aren't you also being a sad cunt when you stay in with her?

>>405034
I've posted about it a few times before. Usually referencing the inevitable bit where my rabid hatred of fathering children or my strong feelings about putting the milk in first or something will cock it all up and fear not, when my deep internal flaws result in it all blowing up in my face you lot will the first to hear about it as I bawl into a crate of Buckfast. But for now, I'm enjoying it. Read: she let me do her up the bum, wahey

My hob is leaking gas so now there's no hot water until we can get it replaced.
How much does replacing a hob cost? I have no idea.

>>405036

If your hob was fitted in accordance with recent regulations, it should have its own isolation valve. Check the cupboard underneath the hob - if you can find the valve and shut it off, you can get your heating back on.

Bargain-basement gas hobs cost about £50, but you might want to spend a bit more. Cheap hobs work fine, but they're a bit ugly and flimsy. Installation should cost you £60-£100.

>>405037
It's a new hob and was probably fitted by some sort of council scheme but I can't find any such valve.
It still smells of gas despite the windows having been open all night so I've called the emergency people out again, I'll ask the next one about that.

>>405038

I bought a new gas hob and oven a few years ago when I had newly moved into a flat. I didn't want to mess with the gas hose connector plug, so I called in professional help to connect it to the gas mains. But the lad who came to my flat sort of half-laughed at me, plugged the connector into the socket in the wall, and said "That's my 30 quid earned". It was as simple as that, just sticking the plug in and turning it to lock it. I felt dumb for even asking somebody to do that for me. But he said, "Oh no, you were right to call in professional help. If there's ever a problem and you've got a gas fire in your flat, you can always say that you had it professionally installed". In case my home insurance would make a fuss or what-have-you.

I still felt like I cheated myself out of £30.

>>405055
I ended up paying twice that just for the call-out fee. Apparently nothing was wrong, just waste gas from the neighbour's boiler blowing in through the window. He wants to come back next week as apparently having a rubber bayonet (?) pipe is illegal in wall-mounted ovens and it needs to be a copper one. I'm sort of okay with him doing it as he says he'll put a valve handle on it which means when the hob does break for real we'll be able to shut it off and still have hot water, which we couldn't otherwise.

>>405057

> a rubber bayonet (?) pipe is illegal in wall-mounted ovens


Sounds more like a tall tale to me.

I'd ask around a bit if that's actually the case.

It looks a bit like they're trying to scam you. If they've already charged you 60 quid just to come out and establish that your hob isn't faulty in the first place.

>>405058
Yeah it does sound a bit dodgy.
It was the free emergency gas people who came round twice and said it was leaking, but he's right in that it doesn't seem to be.
Not sure how I can get a second opinion without shelling out for another call-out fee, even if it's less.

>>405061

Just call British Gas and ask to speak to a safety expert. They've got knowledgeable people there, they've helped me a few times.

https://www.britishgas.co.uk/help-and-advice/contactus-personal-details/contact-us.html

>>405072

Gas powered industrial washing machines are definitely rather niche.

>>405072
Will do, thanks.