>>13322
Everyone hates airports. You'll have to be a bit more specific than that.

>>13322
They make me nervous, but it's kinda an excited type of nervous. Having said that I've had recurring nightmares about missing planes or being asked to pay for my ticket in cash and having an empty wallet (don't ask why it makes no sense with prebooking). I'd probably feel a lot worse about them if I were not going away on holiday or if I was of the ethnic persuasion.

If ever there was an environment that justified paying £4 for a pint of stella, this is one.

>>13323

I'd give a more verbose description, but I'm posting on a phone. There's a reason- pointlessly extortionate WiFi. For no reason.

Queues.

>>13323
I quite like airports actually.

>>13324
I'm scared of airports after I made a booking error last time. Went on holiday with some mates, and I ended up being the one in charge of sorting everything out (flights, accommodation, trains across Europe etc.) which was my undoing. I had so much to sort out that I ended up booking the wrong flight home for myself, though the others' flights were correct and everything else was correct. Went into the airport on the Wednesday, entered my booking reference, not found. Spoke to the woman, she pointed out it was Wednesday and the ticket was for Tuesday.

Wouldn't let me go on the flight my friends were using, even though I didn't fly when I was meant to and there was plenty of room left on the plane. Ended up having to buy a new ticket, which cost like £120. Learnt my lesson.

The fucking perfume and "cheap" fags and toblerone bit.

>>13326
I can tell you I was glad to have one of the new passports that lets you go through the express automated passport control.

>>13330
Are you really comfortable with the government having the ability to make a genetic clone of you and enslaving it?

Fucking "Duty Free" Dixon's and their overpriced shitty consumer electronics.

Incidentally, fuck /101/, it does not like phones.

Fuck the shops hawking bollocky nonsense at extortionate prices. ESPECIALLY the sunglasses shops. No fucked is ever in them! Care to guess why?

At least there's a pub. Oh don't like 150% prices? Fuck off then with the rest of the lounge zombies, you cunt.

Airports are a inhuman, debasing,b pointless slice of hell between you and the plane. Their sole function is to increase the sum of human misery. Fuck them. Fuck them right in the ear.

>>13336
And we're to be lectured by a man walking around pointing root vegetables at people?

>>13332
As long as it's the clone that gets enslaved instead of me, it's fine.

>>13322
You will never understand the hate I have for airports until you look like an ethnic cunt with a Mohawk.

Look at this shit for sale at thebook monopoly. Look. At. It.

>>13322>>13326>>13329>>13334>>13335>>13336>>13341
FFS, just get on the fucking plane already.

Look at all these queue wankers, standing still, in a line that hasn't even started moving yet, like they're going to get anywhere any faster. Fucking mugs.

The last time I went to an airport was before 9/11

I don't think I'll be able to go to one again due to having a beard and I don't know the protocol for not getting fisted in an airport.

>>13336
Is that Gatwick?

Also, specifically fuck planes that depart at 6am. Had to take the train the night before and sleep play games and listen to music for hours before I could even drop my bags off.

>>13342

I'd love to, but the mindless thugs in charge will beat you and rape you if you try that. You have to go through an airport first. Fuck airports. Fuck airports. Fuck airports.

>>13345
It won't be Gatwick. BAA sold it off years ago, and told the new owners to change the signs because apparently they own yellow.

>>13345

No. It's Glasgow. It's the airport that has no signs to indicate you've gone beyond an arbitrary boundary you're not permitted to return through. Thanks, you weegie jobsworth spackas!

>>13346
>You have to go through an airport first.
You mean that thing you're standing in?

>>13348
Did you ram-raid it with a burning car and get the shit kicked out of you by a baggage handler?

Can you just go hang out at an airport if you don't have a flight there or is there a law against that?

>>13351
Think of friends and relatives and even paparazzi who go to airports to meet travellers at the gate. Of course there's no law against it, but airports are private property, so you'll be ejected if you stand out as an undesirable. People like tramps and pickpockets often are. I'm not sure there's much to do landside though.

The only good thing about airports are you can drink at 6am (if you can afford to) and not look like an alcoholic. I dont care if it's 6am where you are, where I'm from it's 9pm. Or vice versa.

>If ever there was an environment that justified paying £4 for a pint of stella, this is one.
>If ever there was an environment that justified paying £4 for a pint of stella
>If ever there was an environment that justified paying for a pint of stella

Nasty fuckin witch piss. I wouldn't drink the rank shit even it came out of me taps for free.

>>Can you just go hang out at an airport if you don't have a flight

Probably. In my young planespotter days I used to visit airports that had areas where you could spend 50p for a huge plate of proper cooked chips, spending your day watching planes through binos and being tendered by dinner lady type canteen staff serving hand made cling film wrapped sarnies, with a club biscuit bunged in for free. As an olderlad I once took a flight from one of these airports and my heart sank. The canteen gallery was no more, replaced by plastic shitty overpriced fuckwit food chains.
In the 80's as a younglad I once walked 4 miles to an airport to watch Concorde land. It was brilliant, the 4 miles back I probably ran home in excitement.

Airports were good in the olden days. I even had a good flirt as a teenlad with a Danair air hostess once. Now airports are a condensed reflection of how shit we've become as people and as a soceity. I understand why those lads drove in to Glasgow but don't condone it.

>>13322
I was once taking pictures in Luton airport, like you are. I was stopped and interviewed for 30 minutes about being a possible terrorist. Unless you are white, I would stop taking pictures if I were you.

>>13358
I did the same thing but they just told me to fuck off, I didn't get dragged aside or anything. This was in 2009 I think.

>>13322

What's a prayer room?

>>13360
A room intended to contain overt prayer.

>>13360
It's where they install the most expensive explosives detectors.

Depends on the airport and which country it's in. Some don't mind as there's lots of other services offered and some will even let you sleep there. Handy if you're ever without accommodation.

>>13361

I assume it's for eskimos and the like so that they don't miss whenever they have to pray but what about when they're on the plane itself and have to pray? Just seems a bit silly to dedicate a part of the airport to praying.

>>13360
Exactly what it sounds like.

>>13322
>>13358

Laughable. Paranoid. Controlling.

If you look into airport security, it's as flawed as the minimum wage immigrantlad from G4S as G4S were at the Olympics. It's all about ITZ.

Stupid people. I saw it all in the beginnng years ago. My misanthropy grows.

>>13364
It's for anyone of any religious persuasion. They're provided mainly because passengers could be hanging around for an awfully long time.

>>13364
Saudi Airlines (Saudia they are called now) have a space in the aeroplane for prayers. It is usually all the way at the back, and the entrance is covered by curtains. I liked their airlines to be honest. It is much better than British Airways. I can only assume that to be the case because a Prince pours money into Saudia, while BA is a business.

With that being said, I was asked stupid questions while leaving Britain. I have an English first name, but an ethnic last name. They "randomly" picked me out and asked me their questions, did some things to my passport, the guy seemed to have typed a lot, so now I am sure I'm on some list somewhere.

The best airports are usually foreign ones, I have noticed. I loved Geneva and Madrid. Everything was laid back and welcoming. When I had arrived home, some idiot kept staring at my passport than me. He called his mate over, and he did the same, his mate called some lass and she did the same. They whispered shit to each other, asked me my name and DOB, and then let me go. I fucking hate airports in this country. It is like we are shitting ourselves every damn day, so we must act accordingly. Fucking cowards. If it were medieval times, I would have challenged all of them to duels.

>>13368
You should have challenged them, especially if you made motions that you were going to draw a weapon -- I can't see where it would have gone wrong.

>>13364
You're a bit out of touch mate. I'll be charitable and won't say they're everywhere, but in a lot of places. Supermarkets, universities, schools, all sorts of workplaces with a significant number of religious staff.

>>13366
Authority figures, security workers and even the police all associate filming with potential terrorism no matter what the setting. It's not confined to airports. It probably happens a lot less in rural areas but in London this poisonous thinking is endemic.

>>13370

Maybe it's because I live up north but a room for praying in a supermarket boggles my mind.

>>13371
I'm not sure they exist for customers.

FUCK MINI BABYBEL ON AEROPLANES

>>13373
At least they teach trigger discipline in the FSA.

>>13374

Scope on his SLR. Man means nonsense.

>>13375
Are lads had them on are Falklands.

I'm sort of getting the impression in this thread that a lot of .gs users have never flown in an aeroplane.

>>13376

Yes. Until the SAS robbed a better version with a folding stock from the argybargies and used it till they got that proper gat the MP5BLATAMATIC.

>>13379
Are you in the forces or a closeted American?

>>13380
doesn't make any odds since he's talking nonsense anyway.

>>13370

How the fuck have we let society get this far? Airports should be no more than a 30 minute process. If I were a terrorist, I'd let the bomb off in the fucking security queue, for fuck's sake - it's not like it'd make much difference in terms of the effect it'd have. It even takes 40 minutes at St Pancras to get on a fucking train, for fuck's sake, as apparently terrorists are going to hijack it - and go where? Paris?

I don't think this is the government trying to control us, even, as it doesn't really achieve very much in the short term other than needless bureaucracy, but I do think it's considered a vote-winner with the swivel-eyed, uneducated loons that populate much of this country.

>>13382
All the more reason why must deny the vote to stupid people.

>>13382
The process of getting on a plane doesn't last very long at all though, it's just the queueing bit that takes a long time. Airlines barely make a profit as it is, they can't afford to employ a shittonne of people just so you don't queue. In any case, then the airport managers get to rent a load of space to Burger King and the like.

>>13384
The queueing usually isn't the airline. You stand in line at the check-in desk while they're actually checking people in. You stand in line at the gate when they're ready to let you on. Besides this, that's what all the seats in the check-in area, departure lounge and gate hall are there for. The bits that do make you queue for seemingly no reason are the security scans and passport checks (usually when they have ten points but for some incomprehensible reason are only manning two of them), which could be solved by UKBA employing competent staff and more of them. It seems like the competent ones end up on cargo duty or illegal worker stuff.

The one that does annoy me is baggage reclaim. You've already spent forever navigating the maze after the arrival gate, spent what seems like forever queueing at passport control where some whiny jobsworth has pored over your passport to ensure that you are in fact a British national, and yet somehow your bags still haven't arrived. It also seems like there's no sense to how the bags come out, because every time I've gone anywhere it seems like mine were always among the last to come out.

>>13382

None of it's there to enhance security. Maybe it does, as a side effect. It's primarily there to create a visible threat. It says, "You must do things our way, or not at all." It shows that problems are only allowed to be solved through the bureaucracy, that pleasure is only for the wealthy, that nonconformity will be punished, that the colour of your skin determines the respect you will be afforded. Airports are a sick posterchild for all that the elite have chosen for us.

The goal of the elite is to turn all of society into an airport. A pointless, revolting system of control, enforced by threat and intimidation.

>>13385

What pisses me off are the fuckers that crowd around the belt, getting in the way of everyone else. Just stand back a few feet and wait for your bag to roll by, then grab it when you see it. If everyone did this we wouldn't have to barge past one another and could see the bags coming. Cunting pillocks.

>>13386
What goes on at airports is commonly referred to as "security theatre" - it's debatable whether any of it improves the security of a plane, but the sheer theatre of it all convinces stupid people that it does. It deters the most basic of terrorist threats, and persuades the public that the authorities are taking it all very seriously. It also proves to terrorists that we're terrified.

>>13387
How am I supposed to pick out my nondescript black suitcase out of all the other nondescript black suitcases if I'm not close enough to check the tag?

>>13389
Does your religion mandate your poor choice of suitcase?

>>13385
UKBA doesn't do competant.

>>13386
>It shows that problems are only allowed to be solved through the bureaucracy, that pleasure is only for the wealthy, that nonconformity will be punished, that the colour of your skin determines the respect you will be afforded. Airports are a sick posterchild for all that the elite have chosen for us.
Fucking hell.

>>13391
Competent*

How ironic.

>>13332
Please do explain.

>>13393
It was just non-sequitur nonsense, playing in some tenuous way on the existence of biometric passports.

I don't understand why I've had more trouble getting back into my own country, than I've had entering others.

>>13395
Because other countries either
a) are less likely to be a target for attacks, or
b) have less incentive to spend all that money on security

>>13387

Either some dozy fucker has left behind that single bag going round and round on the reclaim, or it's a bomb.

>>13395
This is so true. I have spent almost an hour at passport control after arriving in the UK. The kept on "scanning" my passport on what appeared to be some sort of reader, then stare into the screen and type some nonsense. They would always spend some 15 minutes staring at my passport then my face. As if that was not enough, they called someone else over to stare at their computer screens, my passport and my face.

I was there for so long that I had to reclaim my baggage from the lost luggage area. They held me back for close to no reason and I hate them so much. I have never had that much problem getting into any other country and I have been to Belgium, Switzerland, Spain, Greece, North African and Middle Eastern countries, etc. Absolute cunts. I feel happy when the aeroplane touches down on my home soil, but when I enter the airport, I start to hate it so much.

Why do they torture me like this?

>>13398
I remember encountering that stupid situation. It's like the technology in place is meant to save time, but a lot of the time it doesn't work at all, and there's still a couple guys there to check your passport/face anyway, so what's the point?

Last time I was told to get a more up to date picture on my passport when it was still valid for another 2 years. Passports are valid for so long, surely it's common sense that you might change your hair in that time.

>>13398
>I've been to North African and Middle Eastern countries
It's not far-fetched to think this had something to do with your treatment in Britain.

>>13400
>>13401

I had a series of Saudi work visas in my previous passport and got hell for it all over the place.

>>13388

This. It's not some conspiracy that >>13386 is going on about. It's easy to think it is, because then there's a big bogeyman to point at to blame problems on, but in reality it's just a cynical ploy by the government to get votes from people too thick to realise that they don't actually have to put up with this shit.

>>13403

Not that poster, but he clearly wasn't inferring a conspiracy, but rather pointing out that it is an appropriate reflection of the society we create when we do engage in such cynical politics.

>>13403

Terrorists are winning, then.

On a similar note, has anyone noticed that London rail terminals are being treated like the border to the fucking DMZ lately? I guess commuters into London Bridge get pretty pissy after their third train of the morning has been cancelled.

>>13405

Most terrorists are funded, either directly or inderectly, by the same world powers that institute the security measures at airports.

Off the top of my head, the CIA trained and funded the Taliban, and the Soviet Union aided the RAF. These fellas are kind of well known for hijacking, and their handlers are well known for their OTT "security" procedures.

I think we're beyond labelling the idea that our governments want to keep us afraid in order to control us a conspiracy theory. Perhaps it's a stretch to say that governments train and fund terrorists in order to control us through fear, but it certainly is a rather tidy arrangement for them.

>>13408

ITZ, lad.

>>13409

We do know that both the UK and the US plant agents in groups, actively aiding, even encouraging them to break the law so that law enforcement can swoop in and save the day. Clearly governments aren't above creating crime in order to make themselves look useful in order to thwart it. If they're not above that, it wouldn't surprise me to learn of hard evidence that they'd cause acts of terror for the sole purpose of scaring their charges. They certainly aren't above capitalising on terror when it does occur, even when they've had a hand in.

Point of interest, the book "Undercover" is number two in the airport bestsellers list. It's been on sale in airports for at least a year now.

>>13410

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Northwoods

>>13410
That happens a lot in the US, shockingly. When they say they've stopped hundreds of terrorist attacks in recent years, turns out a fair portion never would have been a threat if they hadn't given people the means and encouraged them to do it.

>>13386
> The goal of the elite is to turn all of society into an airport.
Americans do already complain about this.
Maybe the author is not American, but he speaks about US mostly
https://medium.com/i-m-h-o/9a1e5268ff39

>>13421

Interesting read.

>>13395
Obviously you've never entered the United States of America.
My god going through their passport control is daunting, they make you feel as if you've done something wrong and that you're on trial and anything you say or do out of the ordinary is treated with the utmost suspicion and then come the invasive, not-entirely-sure-you-need-to-know-that questions. all with that "if I don't like what you say I'll stamp your passport in the other direction" look and tone.

Meanwhile, in Dubai
"HELLO! Oh you're British! WELCOME! Business or Personal?"

>>13577
I've never really understood the appeal of Dubai as a holiday destination. I know a fair few people who have been or are out there at the moment absorbing all that lovely oil money but as a holiday I've just never really understood why you'd want to go there? Perhaps just my own ignorance. I also take issue with some of the more morally questionable aspects of the regime there.

Also when I went to the states I had no troubles really, the customs bloke was stern but quite reasonable. I have heard some horror stories though.

Sage for off topic waffling.

I will add most airports are pretty soulless places but then they're pretty much functional utilitarian spaces used for the facilitation of moving lots of humans about. I wouldn't want to live in one.

>>13577
Well, if you're judging a destination by how you're treated at the airport, Dubai sounds like the winner. But by everything fucking else, of course America what are you insane?

>>13421
THE WEST IS NOT CHINA.

>>13577

I didn't have any trouble, but my god it took fucking forever. I was also surprised that they make you take off your shoes, and the X-ray machine things are standard.

I landed in Atlanta with a 1hr20m wait time and barely made my flight, they had to unlock the doors and I had to run down the corridor and everything. If it wasn't for some old lady struggling to get on, they'd have shut the doors. I'm going to California in June and this time I made sure to book a flight with a 5 hour wait time between my legs.

>>13580

Everything between the plane and the rest of the country is entirely superfluous. Utilitarian would be pulling up to the plane, packing your own luggage in the back and walking up the steps and taking a seat on the plane.

That would be the ideal. It's not reasonable to consider all the waiting, walking for miles through circuitous corridors, the queues, shops and security as necessary. It's just something we're used to. If it took you that long to board a train, and there was no other way to get around the country, you'd put up with that too, because you'd have no choice but to put up with it.

>>13584

NOT YET WHITE MAN!

>>13586
Whilst I'm sure there is a lot of probably unnecessary waiting I would imagine the logistics of airports are far more complicated than that of a train station.

All I can think about is The Motors.

https://www.youtube.com/v/SU5buMgojTo

>>13596
that was about 100 times nicer than anything in the grime thread. I'd forgotten about that tune, cheers.

>>13341
I should have asked this earlier, but what's your beef with self-help books?

I'm always scared of airports because I'm sure I'd get lost.

>>14224
It's obvious that airports follow the rule common to many phobias, which is that it's more scared of you than you are of it.

>>14225
Hence the security checks. Poor thing's afraid you'll blow it up.