|>>|| No. 15225
Our shitty ineffective government really hates letting us leave doesn't it? even for a fucking instant. God for-fucking-bid I should be allowed to throw off the yoke of corporate slavery and the scrutiny of my fucking trustworthy government for a weekend while I go to Spain eh? Imagine a utopia where any man can go to his post office, send off a picture and signature, and receive his official travel documents within a reasonable time frame.
So far, three attempts have been made to run the inky gauntlet of neutral coloured forms and fucking illiterate sentences put forth by the bulging prolapse that is the passport office, hanging from the very bottom of the arsehole government, dripping shit upon the rest of us.
The first attempt was acceptable. I expected to fail. After deciphering the ridiculous riddles that comprise the passport renewal form, I filled it out to the best of my ability; keeping in mind that most of the shit they ask is nigh unanswerable or extremely irrelevant. The person who countersigned my passport form managed to fuck up signing the pictures. O.K. I have more pictures. The second time, the helpful worker at the post office kindly pointed out the plethora of mistakes made on the passport form (the one they printed, no less!).
The third time, my dad insisted on filling it out so I didn't make any mistakes. Guess what. Going to get a new form tomorrow.
I begin to see a pattern emerging as I traverse the slippery ropes of officialdom, some threat that I knew lurked in the shadows lifted its ugly bureaucratic head. When no less than three separate, competent individuals are so utterly soul crushed after dealing with this beast, I begin to think that it is not us who is fucking the situation, but the snot-gulpers who designed the shitty form I wouldn't use to clean up afterbirth. These are the same inept cunts who have been the bane of this nation for generations - the ignorant chauffeured twat who designed the roads and the dickhead who decides to take the goalposts on your local field down as soon as the sun rolls out.
The most pedestrian tasks have become monumental accomplishments in light of this leadership - not this leadership or the ones before it, ALL of them. I will be the first to admit the government has done a whole lot of good, but when I need to take several months out of my life to complete a fucking piece of paper, to get another fucking piece of paper, just so I can fuck off out of this shithole for a short while (all so I can enjoy it more when I get back!) I believe there is something truly wrong with the way we are doing things.
When it comes down to it. We all (most) pay our taxes, we all support our government to at least some degree (we are, after all, not being raped and murdered in our beds by foreign invaders or starving to death and eating our children.) So why in the fucking world, when GCHQ know every minuscule detail about me, can they not fucking verify and assemble a passport for a born and bred Bitish male?
Is it too much to ask that they check their cunting records? Do you really need the fucking co-ordinates and time to the millisecond of my father's birth, regardless of the fact that only the mother's details count anyway? Do you really think I have any vague clue of when my previous passport was issued? I was fucking 5! Where was this passport issued to you? I don't know, in the post? you tell me tossers, you sent it to me.
Effectively what I'm trying to say is that they're a shower of cunts, who don't want to work for the fucking money we pay them.