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Subject   (reply to 16410)
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>> No. 16410 Anonymous
31st August 2014
Sunday 10:35 am
16410 Seagulls
Scum of the bird world.
Expand all images.
>> No. 16411 Anonymous
31st August 2014
Sunday 11:36 am
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Look mate it was just a tuna sandwich. I know you were only a young'un but you need to let it go.
>> No. 16412 Anonymous
31st August 2014
Sunday 1:35 pm
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And given the massive over fishing problem tuna stocks are going through, I'd go so far as to say he deserved it.

Anyway, Seagulls can warn you when a storm is coming, so that's pretty useful.
>> No. 16413 Anonymous
31st August 2014
Sunday 2:50 pm
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Seagulls are very clever. They learn, remember and even pass on behaviours, such as stamping their feet in a group to imitate rainfall and trick earthworms to come to the surface.

Seagulls’ intelligence is clearly demonstrated by a range of different feeding behaviours, such as dropping hard-shelled molluscs onto rocks so that they break open so they can eat them, and following ploughs in fields where they know upturned grubs and other food sources will be plentiful.

Seagulls are attentive and caring parents. The male and female pair for life and they take turns incubating the eggs, and feeding and protecting the chicks.

Gulls have a complex and highly developed repertoire for communication which includes a range of vocalisations and body movements.

Seagulls can drink both fresh and salt water. Most animals are unable to do this, but seagulls have a special pair of glands right above their eyes which is specifically designed to flush the salt from their systems through openings in the bill.

There is a great deal of diversity between different gull species, with the smallest being the Little Gull (120 g and 29 cm) and the largest being the Great Black-beaked Gull (1.75 kg and 75 cm).

A small claw halfway up their lower leg enables them to sit and roost on high ledges without being blown off.

Young gulls form nursery flocks where they will play and learn vital skills for adulthood. Nursery flocks are watched over by a few adult males and these flocks will remain together until the birds are old enough to breed.

In Native American symbolism, the seagull represents a carefree attitude, versatility, and freedom.

Many seagulls have learned to conserve energy by hovering over bridges in order to absorb raising heat from paved roadways.

Seagulls are fondly remembered in Utah for helping Mormon settlers deal with a plague of crickets. The seagull is now the state bird of Utah and a monument in Salt Lake City commemorates the event, known as the ‘Miracle of the Gulls’.



Seems like you're wrong, OP, seagulls are great - fact.
>> No. 16414 Anonymous
31st August 2014
Sunday 3:14 pm
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They are absolute scum. They beat the flying rats of London, the so-called "pigeon", to the number one spot on the shit list of birds that should be wiped out. They tried to bully me. I will never let it go. Fucking cunt birds.
>> No. 16415 Anonymous
31st August 2014
Sunday 3:19 pm
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That was a very elaborate post and quite interesting read. You have managed to change my perception of seagulls.

With kind regards,

>> No. 16416 Anonymous
31st August 2014
Sunday 3:29 pm
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It didn't change my perception but reinforced my idea that they're quite nice.
>> No. 16417 Anonymous
31st August 2014
Sunday 3:53 pm
16417 OP here

No idea why you're pretending to be me. Nice try though, Seagull.
>> No. 16418 Anonymous
31st August 2014
Sunday 3:59 pm
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I guess I shouldn't be surprised they can type.

>> No. 16420 Anonymous
31st August 2014
Sunday 4:07 pm
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Heathens and heretics, every last bird.

Cradle-robbing bastards. You've been warned.
>> No. 16433 Anonymous
2nd September 2014
Tuesday 5:09 pm
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One time I saw a seagull trying to eat a live pigeon. It had the pigeon's neck in his beak and was all shaking his head trying to end it.

A friend of mine told me he saw a seagull eating another seagull. Either he was trying to one up my story, or he was telling the truth.

Given the Herring Gull's demonic nature I'm inclined to believe the latter.

Youtube is awash with videos of these heinous acts these days.

As a biologist, it's amazing to watch a scavenger evolve into a predator, but as a human being I am horrified.
>> No. 16438 Anonymous
2nd September 2014
Tuesday 6:10 pm
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What about geese?

Seagulls may be annoying and somewhat disease-ridden, but at least they've never killed anyone.
>> No. 16445 Anonymous
2nd September 2014
Tuesday 6:33 pm
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It's more afraid of you than you are of it. Stand your ground, stare at it and draw your cricket bat for battle.
>> No. 16446 Anonymous
2nd September 2014
Tuesday 6:36 pm
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Why are some people so afraid of swans and geese? What are they going to do once they catch you other than squawk at a closer distance?
>> No. 16448 Anonymous
2nd September 2014
Tuesday 6:48 pm
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Anally penetrate you with their corkscrew penis and eat your nose.
Oh no wait that's ducks.
>> No. 16449 Anonymous
2nd September 2014
Tuesday 6:53 pm
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The flapping swan's wings can break human bones.
>> No. 16450 Anonymous
2nd September 2014
Tuesday 6:54 pm
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A bird flapping in your face, physically touching you is unpleasant, similar to how it is when a large exotic insect does it - but more intense. People aren't necessarily afraid of being harmed, but having their personal space aggressively invaded. And I'm sure the fuckers could knock you over if they caught you unaware. And bite your fingers. You also want to avoid having to prove yourself the superior fighter, because fighting birds seems like an ignoble thing to do. They're just daft.


>> No. 16451 Anonymous
2nd September 2014
Tuesday 6:55 pm
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Rape you. Swans and geese, like ducks, have explosive willies that evert in a matter of milliseconds.


Imagine a gaggle of geese all surrounding you ready to pounce with their explosives members just itching to evert. At the very least it could scratch your cornea. Stuff of nightmares lad.
>> No. 16452 Anonymous
2nd September 2014
Tuesday 6:57 pm
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Fucks sake, I was too slow. I don't actually know if their willies do that I was just using it as an excuse to post the video. Great minds and all that.
>> No. 16453 Anonymous
2nd September 2014
Tuesday 7:03 pm
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Dolphin rape caves are scarier than geese rape swarms
>> No. 16456 Anonymous
2nd September 2014
Tuesday 7:16 pm
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>> No. 16460 Anonymous
2nd September 2014
Tuesday 7:36 pm
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Geese and Swans are generally confined to ponds and rivers and occasionally canals.

Whilst it goes without saying that Geese and Swans are obviously vastly more terrifying than Seagulls, the ubiquity of the Herring Gull is its greatest weapon.

I guess it's a 'would you rather be attacked by one horse-sized ant, or a million ant-sized horses' kind of scenario. But with corkscrew dicks.

Please allow me to take this opportunity to ask any ornithologists that may be present whether Geese indulge in the act of homosexual necrophilia like their Mallard counterparts, or are they slightly less monstrous?

Yes, I have made all the birds proper nouns. It was an editorial decision.


>> No. 16464 Anonymous
2nd September 2014
Tuesday 8:28 pm
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Bill Oddie's let himself go.
>> No. 16475 Anonymous
3rd September 2014
Wednesday 11:53 am
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>bite your fingers
My mum has a nasty scar on her hand from a vicious gander we had growing up. It's from a bite.

I'm not saying you should be scared of poultry, >>16446, but you should be aware that the bigger ones can do real damage, and they're mad fucks when they've got young to protect.

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