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>> No. 23246 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 3:15 pm
23246 Minor rants and piss-offs, Mk V
I think we're due a new thread, and this picture idea, especially considering the mark, I couldn't not make.

Auto electric windows. My shitty Rover from 2005 has them, and unlike better cars, it doesn't have the 'double click' in the window switch, so unless you want the window all the way down, you have to press the window switch down, then pull it back up when it gets to where you want it to be. It'd be much less hassle to just either have a winder or non-'auto'.
Expand all images.
>> No. 23247 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 3:29 pm
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>>23246
Instead, why don't we just delete every single board and have a few huge threads instead. Weekend, anger, work, Left politics, nonce politics, race hate politics and international politics.
>> No. 23249 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 4:27 pm
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>>23247
Because huge threads break the site.
>> No. 23250 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 4:30 pm
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I was really craving some sweets earlier but as I walked to my local cornershop I realised the schools are still not out for the summer. My local shop is opposite a primary school you see so come 1530 its packed with children and mothers.

Fuck sake I just want to buy many times my recommended allowance of sugar in peace without being judged. When do the schools break-up lads?
>> No. 23251 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 5:46 pm
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I AM FUCKING DYING, MAKE IT STOP.
>> No. 23253 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 6:03 pm
23253 spacer
I've downloaded Spore for my kids, although I've decided to have a crack at it myself, but fucked if I can understand the paint system on the character creator.
>> No. 23254 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 6:07 pm
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I'm not sure if I hate my job or I just hate working.
>> No. 23255 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 6:21 pm
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>>23254
Why not both?
>> No. 23256 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 6:21 pm
23256 spacer
>>23254


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjPhzgxe3L0
>> No. 23257 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 7:24 pm
23257 spacer
>>23251

Yesterday my mum roped me into weeding her fucking horses fields; plural. I dressed for how the weather's been for the last 4 months so predictably ended up hobbled with heatstroke.

Also I keep eating crap food and I can't stop.
>> No. 23258 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 7:57 pm
23258 spacer
>>23254
I had a massive realisation the other day. I found out what my dream is. I want to wake up everyday with absolutely nothing to do. No responsibilities what so ever. Absolutely nothing to do.
>> No. 23259 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 8:03 pm
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>>23258
Did you happen to see your couple's counsellor die of a heart attack during a session?
>> No. 23260 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 8:06 pm
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>>23258

Is it bad that sometimes I think about quitting my job and just doing hobbies I enjoy at home?

A computer,a watch, some pens and a notepad are all I need. I like learning languages, learning skills (it's great to code) and read.

My parents have practically paid off the mortgage and my baby boomer dad has tens of thousands tucked away somewhere.

I sometimes wonder what the worst that could happen is. I live at home? Enjoy my time on earth? They'd never kicked me out.

My only fear is that one day they'll die and the house will be split between me and two other siblings and I want to have enough money to buy it outright.

If I owned a house outright, how much income would I need anyway? Surely within the next 20 yrs we'll see some form of UBI and I'll literally be freed.
>> No. 23261 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 8:09 pm
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>>23258

Don't worry lad. When the robots take our jobs, we can finally abandon the shackles of capitalism and live in a post-scarcity socialist utopia. The only remaining fields of human endeavour will be increasingly pretentious art; and porn of the most utterly depraved, hedonistic kind.

Until then, you can always go on the dole.
>> No. 23262 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 8:16 pm
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>>23261

How fucked would I be as a single male in regards to accommodation if I was theoretically dole scum? Would I eventually get some sort of roof over my head and a door I could lock?
>> No. 23263 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 8:23 pm
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Bertrand Russell's essay on this subject is a long read, but it's well worth it:

http://harpers.org/archive/1932/10/in-praise-of-idleness/
>> No. 23265 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 8:25 pm
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>>23261
>>23262
Being dolescum in itself is a full time job. I have been on it, and for the amount of stress I was put through for that shitty pay, it is ridiculous.

>>23261
People have been saying that for ages now. There will always be work for the workers. The queen bee won't be a queen if the worker bees aren't workers any more.

>>23260
I think about it a lot, but my situation is a bit worse than yours, so I don't know what to do.
>> No. 23266 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 8:26 pm
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>>23259
I don't understand.
>> No. 23267 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 8:29 pm
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I want to enjoy this evening outside but some cunt's house alarm in the next street has been going off for fucking hours now.
>> No. 23268 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 8:34 pm
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>>23265
>People have been saying that for ages now. There will always be work for the workers. The queen bee won't be a queen if the worker bees aren't workers any more.
Who do you think the robots will be working for?

The working classes being liberated from the drudgery of work to live in a post-scarcity leisure society is an optimistic scenario, though. They could just be left to rot and die in exurban slums.
>> No. 23269 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 8:36 pm
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Give it to me straight lads. I'm early 20s. Am I gonna get to nob around with free money whilst robots do the shit in a world where only the hardest jobs require people who will earn lots, or am I gonna be dealing with Janet from HR telling me my email footer doesn't comply with the business accepted standard because I refuse to put a number on it.

You'd be amazed how much more work I get done now by simply removing my number off the footer. If people want to speak to me about something important, they'll email and ask for my number. The amount of cunts ringing for the sake of wasting time has drastically cut down. It's amazing.
>> No. 23270 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 8:39 pm
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>>23269
You and Janet will be fighting over a tin of beans in the ruins of an ASDA once are Theresa uses the bombs.
>> No. 23271 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 8:39 pm
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>>23265
I'd be the first to demand that the only condition for claiming unemployment benefit should be that you are unemployed, but the basics really aren't that difficult. You apply for jobs, you record that you applied for jobs, and then you show that record to your advisor when you sign on. Given the amount of free time we have as dolescum it's a piece of piss to satisfy those requirements. I know I found it difficult but then I am a fuckup in general and Tory Britain makes no concessions for people like me, but the average person shouldn't be struggling.

Unless of course you're referring to all that extra bullshit they have nowadays under the Work Programme, because that's just a whole other kettle of fuckery.
>> No. 23272 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 8:58 pm
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>>23271
>the basics really aren't that difficult
>I know I found it difficult
Hmm...
>> No. 23273 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 9:33 pm
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>>23268

Yeah, it's basically a coin toss as to which way it will go. As the working classes are made obsolete by robots, the rich will no doubt try and protect their position and the current Order Of Things.

The problem is they'll soon realise that robots don't buy very many flat screens, or Will Smith DVDs, or novelty cat mugs, or generally make a good foundation for an economy based on vapid consumerism. Then it'll all start to fall apart and they will wonder what the fuck went wrong.

That's when the forgotten, hungry masses of the sub-proletariat will strike, sensing the weakness at the heart of an establishment that by then, can no longer be sold in propaganda as "on their side" like it is in today's era. Hopefully they will have the sheer strength of numbers to achieve a revolution, and restore humanity to a path of egalitarianism and progress.

It's more likely to be a hybrid of the two. They'll let the proletariat masses starve and reduce the population of the earth to about a hundredth of what it is at present. Then it'll just as inevitably all fall apart and there will be a revolution amongst the elites themselves, humanity will achieve its goal of utopian space-faring egalitarianism, but the downside is that every human alive to see this golden age is the descendant of 21st century bourgeoisie scum.
>> No. 23274 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 9:41 pm
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>>23272
Boy it sure is easy to take things out of context eh.
>> No. 23275 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 9:44 pm
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>>23273
Oh Seamus.
>> No. 23276 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 9:55 pm
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>>23275
Is this a reference to something?
>> No. 23277 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 10:12 pm
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Speaking of queen bees, there's been a spider building wispy fucking cobwebs in the corner of my living room for months and I can only assume it's a she because she moves so fucking fast and I haven't seen any other spiders around in the house since she moved in. She's clearly established a pecking order and she's not letting go for love nor money. For the past 3 hours since I got home from work she's been hanging out in the corner between her skirting board when her lair is and the entrance to the kitchen, just far enough out that I feel worried she'll scuttle over my feet whenever I want to make a cuppa. She's gone back a few times when I've moved the door or stamped on the ground but she kept coming back out so now I'm not messing. I've already evicted her a few months ago out the back door but somehow she's come back in and now she's just there, not fucking moving, on my carpet. Taunting me with the fact she doesn't pay rent and my arachnophobia makes me unwilling to go near the hole in the skirting board that's her digs.

I've named her Felicia. Fuck you, Felicia.
>> No. 23278 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 10:25 pm
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>>23258
>>23260
Well what would you do if you had a million pounds?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4lmW2tZP2kU

Figure out what gives your life meaning and do that. You can just about support yourself by working part-time so maybe you could do some OU courses, write Haikus or just read and read.

I turned down a lucrative career a few years back and stayed in academia to do research. While I worry about money and things I can honestly say that I'm happy which is allot better than when I was 20 considering suicide because it all seemed so pointless to go on.

>>23265
>The queen bee won't be a queen if the worker bees aren't workers any more.

This analogy always upsets me. Bees do not work that way.

I get that this is beside the point and largely I agree with your post but this is /101/. Humans are not eusocial insects and ultimately our understanding of bee society tells us more about ourselves than it does explain them.
>> No. 23279 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 10:30 pm
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>>23278

>You can just about support yourself by working part-time

I'm sorry lad, but although you think you are writing a helpful and upbeat post, you are sadly working almost entirely within the realms of fantasy.
>> No. 23280 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 10:33 pm
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Not even 50 posts and we have a cunt off.
>> No. 23281 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 10:39 pm
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>>23273
What if instead things largely just follow the pattern set by the industrial revolution and every other technological revolution before.

We'll retrain the hunters to farm crops and make primitive pornography. Redundant farmers and sabot makers will be retrained to forge steel and make pornographic photographs etc. etc.
>> No. 23282 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 10:51 pm
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>>23279
I manage it. Its a bit shit not being able to go down the pub but plenty of jobs use the label 'part-time' if you find you need to work 30-35 hour weeks.

Your mileage may vary I guess.
>> No. 23283 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 11:00 pm
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>>23282
Then they're labelling them wrong. Anything over 30 hours is classified as full-time.
>> No. 23284 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 11:18 pm
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>>23281

But it can't be turtles all the way down. Problem is there are really a shockingly small amount of actual jobs out there, and once a big one gets taken out, you are dealing with an influx of people who used to work in one industry flooding every other.

When I say there's a shockingly small amount of jobs, that's the crux of the matter. Of course there's millions of people employed in a myriad of roles, but huge numbers of them basically do the same thing. Imagine how many truck drivers there are in the world, taxi drivers, pilots, etc- As soon as we have workable self-driving vehicles, those vast swathes of people are permanently out of work, and the job of "move stuff/people from point A to point B", no matter what fancy flavour of that job, is made obsolete. Those people have to retrain, but the pool of available things that need to be done just gets smaller and smaller as more of those things get automated.

We're already well on the way there. Look what has happened to the economy thanks to China, India etc replacing all our previous low-skill jobs. Just imagine how fucked we are when they figure out how to automate "sit at a desk and look busy".
>> No. 23285 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 11:24 pm
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>>23278
"I dunno, I'll probably just invest it."
"Ooh, calm down."
"Oh I'm sorry, did I say invest it? I meant 'be cool and piss it all away'."
>> No. 23286 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 11:27 pm
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>>23281

If we continue to find new jobs, no problem. If the jobs start drying up, then we need to completely reinvent the economy or risk a collapse of society. We can't just assume that the status quo will continue and hope for the best, we need to start planning now.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Technological_unemployment#21st_century
>> No. 23287 Anonymous
18th July 2016
Monday 11:35 pm
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>>23281
>What if instead things largely just follow the pattern set by the industrial revolution and every other technological revolution before.

Martin Ford's Rise of The Robots has a good section on this. To summarise, there are in fact very solid indications that "the pattern" has broken down. Technological revolutions have ceased to bring the benefits that they used to: the link between productivity and median wages has collapsed, long term economic inactivity is on the rise, after every recession it is taking longer and longer for the jobs wiped out to return (and when they do they're worse jobs, and we see an increase in the share of part time workers, contributing to the polarisation of incomes).

Education and training was the answer to "where do the displaced workers go?" in the past. But recent innovations in technology, however, have brought machine intelligence on in leaps and bounds, meaning that that's an approach that's running out of usefulness. There is no special rule that means that computers made of flesh will always have a privileged place in the economy over those made of silicon.
>> No. 23288 Anonymous
19th July 2016
Tuesday 12:24 am
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>>23287

Unless the computers made of silicon develop AI complex enough to develop consumerism, the ones made of flesh will always be necessary. There is no economy if nobody's there (or more to the point, nobody can afford) to exchange money for goods and services. That's where the turning point will happen.

The "economy" itself is just a rational system of self organisation, it's a haphazard way for us humans, crippled by ideas like free will and lacking the ability to communicate as a telepathic hivemind, to roughly co-ordinate our actions. This wouldn't be a problem if the robots replaced us entirely, robots have wi-fi and cold logic.

Anyway I'm rambling. The economy can keep on spiralling upwards for a while, with an ever shrinking pool of rich people using their ever more advanced technology to make, buy and sell each other ever fancier holographic speedboats and diamond-encrusted cybernetic limbs or whatever it is; but capitalism is nonetheless destined to eat itself.

The accumulation of wealth will always eventually reach a critical mass where the system itself stops working.

Was I indoctrinated as some kind of proper hardcore Marxist as a kid without realising?
>> No. 23289 Anonymous
19th July 2016
Tuesday 12:32 am
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>>23288

And even if the robots DO develop the AI in order to simulate economic activity, how long until THEY start building robots to automate things again because they realised how bullshit it is having to spend their days working for the man, thereby inadvertently bringing about the collapse of their artificially intelligent economy?

Fucking make it stop lads, how far down does it go
>> No. 23290 Anonymous
19th July 2016
Tuesday 12:38 am
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>>23288
>Unless the computers made of silicon develop AI complex enough to develop consumerism, the ones made of flesh will always be necessary. There is no economy if nobody's there (or more to the point, nobody can afford) to exchange money for goods and services.
Yeah, that's reminiscent of the old story about the American union boss Walter Reuther being shown around a new automated factory by Henry Ford II:

>“Walter, how are you going to get those robots to pay your union dues,” gibed the boss of Ford Motor Company. Without skipping a beat, Reuther replied, “Henry, how are you going to get them to buy your cars?”

The thing is, what you actually need is demand. You don't necessarily need it to come from workers spending their wages.
>> No. 23291 Anonymous
19th July 2016
Tuesday 12:41 am
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>>23288
And no, you're not a hardcore Marxist. The argument you present has come up in the pages of the FT, the Economist, and other decidely non-Marxist publications, and has been brought up by the likes of the right wing economist Laurence Kotlikoff, the venture capitalist Albert Wenger, etc. etc.
>> No. 23292 Anonymous
19th July 2016
Tuesday 12:43 am
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>>23288

"The system" doesn't have a purpose, so it can't be said to fail. As you say, it's an emergent product of market forces. If the market determines that there should be a gratuitously wealthy tech elite and a vast underclass, that's what we're stuck with unless there's a revolution. I'm sure that the robots who take all our jobs will efficiently suppress any uprising. In a war between guerrilla fighters and self-aware Predator drones, I'm betting on the drones.

I'm not optimistic about the future.
>> No. 23293 Anonymous
19th July 2016
Tuesday 5:07 am
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https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/power-toothpaste-the-first-caffeinated-toothpaste/#/

This exists.
>> No. 23294 Anonymous
19th July 2016
Tuesday 4:22 pm
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7Ok8UOJ7fY
>> No. 23295 Anonymous
19th July 2016
Tuesday 4:30 pm
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Here I am, sat in thirty degree heat, and I don't even have a 9/10 Asian bird that does anal to comfort me. I would just bed in for a siesta but I'm supposed to be on a conference call which nobody appears to have set up.
>> No. 23296 Anonymous
19th July 2016
Tuesday 5:10 pm
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>>23295
I agree about it being too hot to be working. If I was outdoors it wouldn't be too bad but instead I'm stuck at a desk trying to even start focusing when humidity has turned me into a clammy monster. I've done NOTHING today so why did I even try.

The Asian lass can piss off, far too hot for that. Let me at least have a nice dip in a swimming pool and maybe a cold beer.
>> No. 23297 Anonymous
19th July 2016
Tuesday 5:17 pm
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>>23296

>The Asian lass can piss off

It's not about actually doing the bumsex, it's that she's there for you even for bumsex.
>> No. 23298 Anonymous
19th July 2016
Tuesday 5:22 pm
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I just had an argument with the missus for going in a hot bath on a day like this. Is it just me that thinks that is fucking mental and a one way ticket to brain damage?
>> No. 23300 Anonymous
19th July 2016
Tuesday 5:53 pm
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Today's word of the day is "immolation".
>> No. 23301 Anonymous
19th July 2016
Tuesday 6:04 pm
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>>23298
I had one. Don't see the issue relly, feels exactly the same as a hot bath any other day of the week.
>> No. 23302 Anonymous
19th July 2016
Tuesday 6:07 pm
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>>23300

We used to do portmanteau of the week.

I can't think of a good one based on your post though. This annoys me.
>> No. 23303 Anonymous
19th July 2016
Tuesday 6:25 pm
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>>23302
Immogration, the BNP's new policy.
>> No. 23304 Anonymous
19th July 2016
Tuesday 7:59 pm
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I cut some skinny jeans in half yesterday because the only other shorts I own are from when I was a fatty-fatty-fat-fat. Anyway, I fell asleep for about an hour earlier and the button fell off them.

Also they make me look a bit like a Bavarian rent boy.
>> No. 23305 Anonymous
19th July 2016
Tuesday 9:12 pm
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Alex Turner and Miles Kane have become an unbearable parody of everything they were against.

It's hard to believe that the lad who penned 'Fake tales of San Francisco' is dancing around with fake tan on in throw back 70s America 'rock n roll' videos trying to be as edgy and as 'look at me I take drugs and do rock music' as possible alongside miles Kane, also the lad who penned 'don't forget who you are' about his beloved home of Liverpool and working clubs.

The Last Shadow Puppets were fantastic, what they've just released is absolute, cringe inducing garbage.

It annoys me how hard these two are trying to be something their not and it annoys me how shit two insanely talented gents are being because they're aiming for a certain image, that will never work for them.
>> No. 23306 Anonymous
19th July 2016
Tuesday 9:16 pm
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>>23305

Meant to attach this image too, which even if the music video were to be a parody, would still be unbearable. I feel like they're attempting to paint their attempt for a new image as a bit of an overdone joke whilst secretly being a bit serious. Like when somebody is nervous about changing their hairstyle or your mate turns up at the pub wearing a pink blazer jacket hoping it sinks into part of his style unnoticed, but just incase he gets called out he always has his 'it's just a bit of a laugh I'm obviously not serious' excuse to hand.
>> No. 23307 Anonymous
19th July 2016
Tuesday 10:02 pm
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>>23306
>Like when somebody is nervous about changing their hairstyle
I've been meaning to ask. Do people maintain their hair styles? As in, go to the barbers and ask for the same cut as they had last time?
I've always had varying haircuts because I don't pay attention to what the last one I had was called and just give the barber either vague directions or tell them to do whatever they think would work best.
>> No. 23308 Anonymous
19th July 2016
Tuesday 10:13 pm
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>>23307

I've been thinking about having a major shake up of my hair for a while but

a) what if it looks shit?
b) How do I know what to ask for? I don't know what to ask for as it is as the same lady has cut my hair for over 20 years, I just sit down and it happens.
>> No. 23309 Anonymous
19th July 2016
Tuesday 11:20 pm
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This is the only place it's comfortable. Sat on a camping chair, outside, at 23:20. Fuck me. It also appears my phone has adaptive ISO on the rolling shutter. Interesting.
>> No. 23310 Anonymous
19th July 2016
Tuesday 11:26 pm
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>>23309
There's a screenshot button on your computer; you don't need to take a photograph of it.
>> No. 23311 Anonymous
19th July 2016
Tuesday 11:50 pm
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>>23310
The picture wasn't just of the laptop.
>> No. 23312 Anonymous
20th July 2016
Wednesday 12:21 am
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>>23310
He wanted to include his pussy.
>> No. 23314 Anonymous
20th July 2016
Wednesday 2:23 am
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>>23309
I see OkCupid.
>> No. 23317 Anonymous
20th July 2016
Wednesday 10:46 am
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>>23314
I am chronically lonely.
>> No. 23319 Anonymous
20th July 2016
Wednesday 12:01 pm
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>>23317
OkCupid is rife with weirdos with daddy issues, "full-time mums" and other undesirables. Anyone worth your time is on Tinder or something similar. Do yourself a favour and leave it.
>> No. 23320 Anonymous
20th July 2016
Wednesday 12:42 pm
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>>23319
My experience with tinder has hardly been dissimilar although I admit OKCupid is far worse for it. The only difference seems to be the volume of students but they all tend to be of a sort you'd do well to avoid.

You find keepers by leaving the house. Take all this electronic dating shite and bin it.
>> No. 23324 Anonymous
20th July 2016
Wednesday 1:25 pm
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>>23320
To be fair, tinder was what allowed me to meet my current missus, we've been together for a solid year.

The premise is very simple; you match with the clear agreement you both find each other attractive (or not physically repugnant), and you can quickly organise a date. My rule was this; I started a conversation with "Hello!", always the same - if she was too good to respond to such an innocuous opener within a few day - fuck it, dropped. I never ever messaged twice, meaning, if I asked a question, and I was left hanging, and for a day or more, then I moved on.
There was nothing more desperate than trying to be an angsty shit - my gf also corroborated this and confirmed she found lads being belligerent extremely unattractive when she was on it.

OkCupid is another game altogether - you have to invest time in building a profile which is a complete waste of time. There is a false notion that this will create conversation material, but it always has and will boil down to attractiveness. I've met lasses on their with terrible pictures but great profiles. Pictures that looked as if they smeared Vaseline over a web-cam from 2001 - I gave them the benefit of the doubt and still agreed for a date. It comes to no surprise then that upon meeting them, they made my stomach drop. To be fair, I'm no model but this was taking the piss. I never did bail, and we had a semi-enjoyable evening, but as soon as they got back on the bus I hastily deleted their numbers and never responded to their messages.
>> No. 23325 Anonymous
20th July 2016
Wednesday 1:27 pm
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>>23324
there not their...

It's this heat I swear...
>> No. 23326 Anonymous
20th July 2016
Wednesday 2:12 pm
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>>23324
>I hastily deleted their numbers and never responded to their messages.
That's cold. Why couldn't you just text them something along the lines of "I had a really nice time with you but I'm afraid I didn't feel a spark, sorry".
>> No. 23327 Anonymous
20th July 2016
Wednesday 2:55 pm
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>>23326
Ok I lied, I did reply to a few along those lines, but the fact of the matter of was that the date was it - no more fannying about.
>> No. 23332 Anonymous
20th July 2016
Wednesday 4:44 pm
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>>23324
>My rule was this; I started a conversation with "Hello!", always the same

I detest people who try to open a conversation with a lazy line like this. Okay, I reply with 'hello'. Your move master conversationalist.

Either make an observation/relevant question or hoof off. Women are the worst for this and it carries with it an expectation that its all my job which is not what I look for in a partner.
>> No. 23335 Anonymous
20th July 2016
Wednesday 4:57 pm
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>>23319

My dream woman is a BBW with weird hair, a dry wit and utterly depraved sexual appetites. I have a fantastic time on OkCupid.
>> No. 23336 Anonymous
20th July 2016
Wednesday 5:47 pm
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>>23332
It's clear you've never bothered to use Tinder or how to carry a conversation m90.

Hello is simple, hello is not presumptuous, hello can be followed by a simple "Hi, how are you?" which leads to a conversation.

How the fuck am I supposed to tailor every greeting to everyone I meet? Are you that desperate and unconfident in your looks/personality that you need to make some hilarious quips about nothing to seem "quirky" and interesting? Get over yourself, Hello is what you get, and if you're above that, then kindly fuck off.
>> No. 23337 Anonymous
20th July 2016
Wednesday 6:10 pm
23337 spacer
>>23336
Your supposed to look over their profile at least once before you decide to message. Expressing an interest in other people is a must even if its just making chit-chat about the dogs.
>> No. 23338 Anonymous
20th July 2016
Wednesday 6:10 pm
23338 spacer
Fucking kids playing on the street because their parents are too lazy to take them to a park or let them go play on the MASSIVE FUCKING FIELD that's just around the corner, because they'd rather be able to still sit out in their shorts drinking Stella. Why do we even have such an infestation of children on this street? There's one big family who seem to operate like a hive where there are three generations and several cousins present all day long; and there's another family whose mum seems to be a child minder of sorts bringing yet more mewling brats hereto disturb my peace. The thing is I know it makes me a bit of a misery guts to hate the sound of kids playing outside and getting exercise, but surely it's some sort of anti-social behaviour if it's fucking constant from the moment I get home from work, until about 9pm, and the parents don't even tell them to be quiet when they're sat screaming at each other over who gets to use which fucking ball or whatever.

Great, now one of them is fucking starting with a fucking tantrum. The heat is making me grumpy enough without this bullshit.
>> No. 23339 Anonymous
20th July 2016
Wednesday 6:54 pm
23339 spacer
People who routinely whine and do so incessantly about the two days of nice weather we get each year.

Get a fucking grip and grow up.
>> No. 23340 Anonymous
20th July 2016
Wednesday 7:00 pm
23340 spacer
>>23339

I second that.

It seems to me that people who get unhappy about the weather, will get unhappy about anything and everything.
>> No. 23341 Anonymous
20th July 2016
Wednesday 7:22 pm
23341 spacer
>>23339

Are you sure you're not lost? You do know what country you are in right? Moaning about inane shit is our biggest national pastime.
>> No. 23342 Anonymous
20th July 2016
Wednesday 7:23 pm
23342 spacer
>>23305

> It's hard to believe that the lad who penned 'Fake tales of San Francisco' is dancing around with fake tan on in throw back 70s America 'rock n roll' videos trying to be as edgy and as 'look at me I take drugs and do rock music'

As much as I used to like QOTSA, it all went pete tong for AM when they met Josh Homme imo.
>> No. 23343 Anonymous
20th July 2016
Wednesday 7:29 pm
23343 spacer
>>23341

I also hate people that justify things by pretending that they're some sort of quirky brit who can't enjoy nice weather.

Of course we can, otherwise we wouldn't go on holiday.
>> No. 23344 Anonymous
20th July 2016
Wednesday 7:34 pm
23344 spacer
>>23343

Boiling hot weather is nice when you start drinking at 10am and lounge around a pool all day. It's shit if you've got to stand on the train with a load of sweaty bastards pressed up against you.
>> No. 23345 Anonymous
20th July 2016
Wednesday 7:35 pm
23345 spacer
>>23343
What's nice about covering yourself in sweat without going anywhere, spending days in pain because you're burnt to a crisp, being unable to sleep for hours, having flies all over the fucking place, sitting there drenched because its so humid and uncomfortable nothing will evaporate?

It's fucking horrible, it's not bloody nice in the slightest.
>> No. 23346 Anonymous
20th July 2016
Wednesday 7:38 pm
23346 spacer
>>23344
>>23345

Things might not be so bad if slightly warmer weather upsets you this much.

Moan about how the rain and wind makes things shit, or perpetual grey skies are depressing, or cold wintery ice makes everything twice as difficult.

You just all moan about it because you think it's some sort of British right of way and you're really working into the stereotype by spewing such shit.

It's a bit of sun, get over it. If you're spending 'days in pain because you're burnt to a crisp' you're either in need of a medical diagnosis for a skin condition or walking around naked and not applying suncream.
>> No. 23347 Anonymous
20th July 2016
Wednesday 7:38 pm
23347 spacer
>>23339 nice weather

It's not nice for us, you cretinous fucker. That's why we whine. Or suck it up and pray for it to end soon.
Either way, it's 'nice' like being kicked in the balls repeatedly is 'nice'. Brain shuts down, cycling around gets me sweaty, every fucking thing is hot to the touch. Just foul. Tolerable on holiday when I'm not trying to get things done, but I'd still rather not.
I love winter. Can't get enough of snow, bright cold days, driving rain, wind, all of it. But people whine about that.
>> No. 23348 Anonymous
20th July 2016
Wednesday 7:42 pm
23348 spacer
>>23343

I hate people meta-complaining about people complaining because they think they are so much more free-thinking and rational for not sharing opinions with other groups of people.
>> No. 23349 Anonymous
20th July 2016
Wednesday 7:49 pm
23349 spacer
>>23348

Cool input.

>>23347
You're all acting like we've just inhabited the weather of Saudi Arabia on a permanent basis and we're not having a bit of sun for two days.

Honest to god, you don't have to like it, but this over dramatisation of how bad it is is fucking pathetic.

As I said, you all need to get a grip.
>> No. 23350 Anonymous
20th July 2016
Wednesday 7:52 pm
23350 spacer
>>23349
Maybe it affects different people to a different extent?
Maybe it really is fucking horrible for some people?
Sure, whining's not going to fix it, but can't you just live with a bit of whining for a few days?
>> No. 23351 Anonymous
20th July 2016
Wednesday 7:53 pm
23351 spacer
>>23350

Yes, obviously it will, but I strongly doubt that most people aren't being burnt to a crisp and being in agony for days.

I don't like the rain, I don't act like a second biblical flood is about to come and wash away my house, because I'm not pathetic.

Do a whinge, by all means, but at least stop this yank extremism where everything has to be the absolute best or worst.
>> No. 23352 Anonymous
20th July 2016
Wednesday 8:10 pm
23352 spacer
>>23319
>>23320
>>23324
I tried Tinder, swiped right on every bird I found even vaguely attractive (so 85%, I heard that if you make it 100 you don't get shown to anyone) for about 3 weeks, so that's 2100 people.
Zero matches.
>> No. 23353 Anonymous
20th July 2016
Wednesday 8:14 pm
23353 spacer
Is it too much to ask for this heat to be spread over several decent days instead of one or two unbearably hot and humid ones?
>> No. 23354 Anonymous
20th July 2016
Wednesday 8:16 pm
23354 spacer
>>23353
I think that's the thing too -- 30ºC in Maga with the lads is different to 30ºC here.

The houses in those countries are built to make it bearable, whereas houses in this country are built to trap heat in. It's incredibly humid, moreso than you would get even at the coast in the Med, and unlike the Yanks we don't have any aircon.
>> No. 23355 Anonymous
20th July 2016
Wednesday 8:49 pm
23355 spacer
I looked down at my foot and it's been bleeding, it must have been for quite a while judging by the amount of blood. Anyway, I was blissfully unaware of this and now I've looked at it it won't stop stinging.
>> No. 23356 Anonymous
20th July 2016
Wednesday 8:50 pm
23356 spacer
>>23346
>Moan about how the rain and wind makes things shit, or perpetual grey skies are depressing, or cold wintery ice makes everything twice as difficult.
Not the lad you're responding to, but - I don't moan in those cases. I'm fine with rain, snow, or just cloudy grey days. It's this heat I can't fucking cope with. Other cunts go on about how "miserable" the weather is at all other times of the year, I reckon I get to complain during the few roasting bastards we get during summer.

"Moan" fucking ticked.
>> No. 23357 Anonymous
20th July 2016
Wednesday 8:55 pm
23357 spacer
>>23354
I'm working from home most of the time at the moment. I was in the air-conditioned office today when the outside temperature was only 25, whereas yesterday I had to ask my manager's permission for a siesta because the temperature in my living room was 31 degrees on account of there being no wind whatsoever. (To be fair, I was taking it anyway, and had he said no I'd have told him to go swivel.)
>> No. 23358 Anonymous
20th July 2016
Wednesday 11:00 pm
23358 spacer
>>23356
Entirely.

There's a lot in Watching the English about the use of the weather as a conversational device which is a fascinating reflection but for me it simply has no place here.

Today it was fucking horrible. The day before it was fucking horrible. The day before it was fucking horrible and I'm moaning because it hasn't been fucking horrible as far as I'm concerned for a lovely long time.
>> No. 23360 Anonymous
21st July 2016
Thursday 12:02 am
23360 spacer

THSWHistory.gif
233602336023360
Another thing to consider is the THSW index -- Temperature, Humidity, Solar (Radiation), Wind. It's basically a 'feels like' as compared to some standard conditions. Because it's so humid here, and there wasn't a lot of wind, and we get a fair amount of solar radiation (~1000Wm^-2 on a good day), it 'feels' a lot higher than it is. The attached graph shows yesterday it was brushing 40.

This historical data is on a few hours' lag, but you can see what it was like.

[x] autism because this really is
>> No. 23361 Anonymous
21st July 2016
Thursday 12:11 am
23361 spacer

OutsideHumidityHistory.gif
233612336123361
>>23360
To continue, the reason why it's not as bad in the evenings even when the temperature hasn't dropped as much is because it's starting to dry out.
Relative humidity is a weird fucking unit though.
>> No. 23363 Anonymous
21st July 2016
Thursday 12:44 am
23363 spacer
>>23361
>Relative humidity is a weird fucking unit though.

Is it? My understanding is that it's just a percentage of water vapour with the saturation amount being 100%. Seems simple enough to me?

Few weeks ago my phone was telling me the humidity was in the 95-100% range. I can deal with anything up to about 90% but anything above that can fuck right off, the air seems too thick to breathe at that point. The excellent news is that climate change will apparently lead to greater humidity in future as the oceans warm up, I'm definitely going to have to invest in decent A/C if that happens.
>> No. 23364 Anonymous
21st July 2016
Thursday 1:01 am
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>>23363
>I'm definitely going to have to invest in decent A/C if that happens.
Thus accelerating climate change.


And yes, but the way it must be calculated (as a function of temperature and pressure) means you can't compare, say, the RH at this point last year accurately because, well, it's relative. I suppose, like Fahrenheit, it's an easily relatable unit, since giving it in gm^-3 as an absolute value wouldn't mean shit to people.

The 'ideal' is 60%, apparently.
>> No. 23365 Anonymous
21st July 2016
Thursday 1:11 am
23365 spacer
>>23360
Where it this from?
>> No. 23366 Anonymous
21st July 2016
Thursday 1:19 am
23366 spacer
>>23365
http://ossettweather.com/Weekly%20page.htm
I'm one of the scarily numerous Ossettlads on here.
>> No. 23367 Anonymous
21st July 2016
Thursday 2:43 am
23367 spacer
>>23246
Earlier this evening, "People without talent on talent shows" was suggested for Room 101. I agree that such people are indeed annoying, but I couldn't help but feel it was a bit rich coming from Jordan.
>> No. 23368 Anonymous
21st July 2016
Thursday 4:24 am
23368 spacer
I have flu. It's fucking July.
>> No. 23369 Anonymous
21st July 2016
Thursday 4:29 am
23369 spacer
>>23368
Sorry to hear that man. Flu is nasty, not surprised you can't sleep.
>> No. 23370 Anonymous
21st July 2016
Thursday 6:30 am
23370 spacer
>>23369
Im lying in bed shivering. I keep coughing and I'm bloody annoyed about it.
>> No. 23371 Anonymous
21st July 2016
Thursday 7:58 am
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>>23366
I think there's only the two of us. The manure smell the other morning was almost unbearable.

I think the otherlad lives in Earlsheaton.
>> No. 23372 Anonymous
21st July 2016
Thursday 10:27 am
23372 spacer
>>23371
That means 66% of the site is Ossettlads, and purple lives in Earlsheaton.
>> No. 23373 Anonymous
21st July 2016
Thursday 7:06 pm
23373 spacer
If that attempted kidnapping does turn out to be a great white whale hunt, we really do have properly shit terrorists.
>> No. 23375 Anonymous
21st July 2016
Thursday 7:07 pm
23375 spacer
>>23373
Either that or top-notch security services.
>> No. 23376 Anonymous
21st July 2016
Thursday 7:12 pm
23376 spacer
>>23375

Nah, any moron could drive their Fiesta across a pavement and take out a few Kafir and MI5 couldn't do a thing about it. But England's terrorists can't even shout orders at a jogging Squadie because he had headphones on, so it seems.
>> No. 23377 Anonymous
21st July 2016
Thursday 7:15 pm
23377 spacer
>>23376
If that was true why haven't they done it already, like they did in France?
>> No. 23378 Anonymous
21st July 2016
Thursday 7:24 pm
23378 spacer
>>23377

Exactly.
>> No. 23379 Anonymous
21st July 2016
Thursday 7:41 pm
23379 spacer

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233792337923379
These fucking useless twats. Not only have I had a massive surprise bill that they refuse to change but I was meant to get my housemates added onto the account last week so they can call in.

I thought I did but as it turns out today when my housemate called the customer service agent simply didn't. I know it happened because I remember the first agent I got through to fucking hung up on me halfway through the call.
>> No. 23380 Anonymous
21st July 2016
Thursday 7:54 pm
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Capture.png
233802338023380

>> No. 23381 Anonymous
21st July 2016
Thursday 8:05 pm
23381 spacer
>>23379
Why are you still with them?
>> No. 23382 Anonymous
21st July 2016
Thursday 8:11 pm
23382 spacer
>>23380
I thought it was just me getting these weird suggestions lately because I cleared my cookies. You also seeing the one about celebrities being made to take on roles they hated?

They got me with the thumbnail of Emily Blunt
>> No. 23383 Anonymous
21st July 2016
Thursday 8:16 pm
23383 spacer
>>23381
It was written into my tenancy agreement so I was stuck with them. I am not with them any more though. Fuck that. Never again.
>> No. 23384 Anonymous
21st July 2016
Thursday 8:27 pm
23384 spacer
Do you ever just realise how utterly buggered and depressing your life is and that you're always doomed to fail at any and all attempts to improve it?
>> No. 23385 Anonymous
21st July 2016
Thursday 8:44 pm
23385 spacer
>>23384

Daily. Realising this is the start of freedom though.
>> No. 23386 Anonymous
21st July 2016
Thursday 8:58 pm
23386 spacer
>>23385
Suicide is not the answer sometimes.
>> No. 23387 Anonymous
21st July 2016
Thursday 9:04 pm
23387 spacer
>>23382
No, I just get that one and something like "9 unsolved creepy internet mysteries".
>> No. 23388 Anonymous
21st July 2016
Thursday 9:15 pm
23388 spacer
>>23380
>>23387
I get these too. About a year ago I got a 6 hour video of the Titanic sinking suggested on every video.

Did you also recently get "How I can afford a Lambo"? I watch a lot of car videos so it might have been a tailored advert 'suggestion'.
>> No. 23389 Anonymous
21st July 2016
Thursday 9:17 pm
23389 spacer
>>23388
"Richard Dawkings stunned by stupidity" too.
>> No. 23390 Anonymous
21st July 2016
Thursday 9:35 pm
23390 spacer
>>23389
I get that one occasionally but not as often.
>> No. 23391 Anonymous
21st July 2016
Thursday 9:41 pm
23391 spacer
>>23387>>23388

I've recently discovered the tiny little button that lets you select "not interested" and then "tell us why". Using it to clear up all my recommendations daily does seem to help keep the shite out. But even then I still get these fucking sponsored ones.
>> No. 23392 Anonymous
21st July 2016
Thursday 9:59 pm
23392 spacer
>>23390
I'm sick of seeing recommendations for videos of politicians or concepts apparently being 'destroyed' by John Oliver, Jon Stewart, Steven Colbert, Bill Maher etc. etc. etc.
>> No. 23393 Anonymous
21st July 2016
Thursday 10:32 pm
23393 spacer
>>23391
It's going to show me something whatever happens.
>> No. 23394 Anonymous
21st July 2016
Thursday 10:34 pm
23394 spacer
>>23392
Users of hyperbole destroyed by this post.
>> No. 23395 Anonymous
21st July 2016
Thursday 10:54 pm
23395 spacer
Out of knowhere, a sponsored ad in my facebook newsfeed that invited me to like Theresa May, with no other options. It wouldn't initially let me select to block all further contact from Theresa May.

I fucking hate Facebook.
>> No. 23396 Anonymous
21st July 2016
Thursday 11:07 pm
23396 spacer
>>23391
This only works if you sign into your youtube account. I get that its my own fault then but google knows enough about me already.

>>23395
Why not use AdBlock like a normal human being?
>> No. 23397 Anonymous
21st July 2016
Thursday 11:35 pm
23397 spacer
>>23392
These irritate me to no fucking end. Why does a political spectrum have to be either extreme? I can't fucking stand smarmy "presenters" using god awful quips that usually appeal to the lowest common denominator (i.e.: American audiences).

Youtube is designed so that you are glued to it - it recommends you stuff that it knows will keep you hooked for hours. I have adblock permanently on, I don't give a shit who gets the ad revenue, because there are 10 million other people lining their pockets.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bn_6sU7O43w

Why is this cancer spreading to the UK? I thought this sort of vlog shite was relegated to the US where they love plastering their faces in front of a camera.
>> No. 23398 Anonymous
21st July 2016
Thursday 11:37 pm
23398 spacer
>>23396

Sign in, then disable your watch history in your account settings. No more personalised recommendations.

https://myaccount.google.com/privacy

If you really want to avoid tracking, install Ghostery. It's not perfect, but it's as good as it gets.

https://www.ghostery.com/our-solutions/ghostery-browser-extension/
>> No. 23399 Anonymous
21st July 2016
Thursday 11:39 pm
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>>23397
Fucking hell, I could only take twenty seconds of that video.
>> No. 23400 Anonymous
21st July 2016
Thursday 11:58 pm
23400 spacer
My friend's insistence that 4 weeks = 1 month.

As the standard pregnancy term is classed as 40 weeks she claims she was pregnant for 10 months. Anyway, she's been banging on about her baby being half a year old today because it was born 24 weeks ago today, which would make the 4th of February exactly six months ago in her mind. Whether she celebrates its first birthday an entire 28 days early remains to be seen.
>> No. 23401 Anonymous
22nd July 2016
Friday 12:12 am
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>>23400
Fuck off with your gregorionormative agenda.
>> No. 23402 Anonymous
22nd July 2016
Friday 12:33 am
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>>23398
What are your thoughts on Ghostery vs Privacy Badger?
>> No. 23403 Anonymous
22nd July 2016
Friday 12:47 am
23403 spacer
I never, ever, tell Google/Facebook/etc that I'm 'not interested' in anything -- it allows them to build an ever more accurate profile of you. I have 'trending' shit about football coming up. I hate football.
>> No. 23404 Anonymous
22nd July 2016
Friday 1:05 am
23404 spacer
>>23403
This is true - if you see online adverts you haven't the slightest interest in, it means your attempts to protect your privacy are working like a charm.
>> No. 23405 Anonymous
22nd July 2016
Friday 11:07 am
23405 spacer
I'm haunted by a girl in my dreams. I must have only met her once and she left a mark, we talked a few times online after that but then she disappeared. She really might as well be on Mars for all my chance of seeing her again.

Now I dream about her with some regularity. I can forget about her completely in my day-day affairs and life moves on but then she turns up in a dream causing feelings of longing or what perfectly describes it 'saudade'. Ex-girlfriends rarely if ever come up nor any of the other the ones that got away, its just her.

I guess I'm stuck with her forever now but it would be nice if every dream wasn't awful. Last night it was my birthday (not really but in dreamland) but I was upset because I had no money and nobody else seemed to care so I didn't feel confident to talk to her.
>> No. 23406 Anonymous
22nd July 2016
Friday 1:08 pm
23406 spacer
*ring ring*
PLEASE LISTEN CAREFULLY TO THE FOLLOWING MESSAGE


I'm on the TPS and shit, so I've no idea how they get my details.
>> No. 23407 Anonymous
22nd July 2016
Friday 1:16 pm
23407 spacer
>>23406

I drafted a standard letter for shit like this. I started to track down the company and threaten legal action and report them to the Information Commissioners Office.

I don't get them anymore.
>> No. 23408 Anonymous
22nd July 2016
Friday 2:13 pm
23408 spacer
>>23397
Let me be clear - I love The Daily Show and its insightful taking apart of hypocrisy in the media. I think we should have stuff like this in the UK and it is to the detriment of our political discourse that we don't:

https://youtu.be/mNiqpBNE9ik

But not everyone and everything is 'destroyed' by these commentators. I do agree with you about your notions of how everything is divided into extremes. But I don't consider Jon Stewart, for one, to indulge in this kind of bullshit - he's called for open dialogue and understanding before.
>> No. 23409 Anonymous
22nd July 2016
Friday 6:29 pm
23409 spacer
>>23379

I feel your pain brother.

It winds me up doubly thanks to my previous life working n customer service. I have seen first hand how all the procedures, management structure, and escalation routes are rigged to make it not just hard for the customer, but hard for even the most well meaning phone monkey to successfully deliver the outcome you require (when that outcome is anything other than giving the company money.)

It's appalling how the consumer has so little recourse available to them when the majority of big companies like this deliver customer service so bad that the whole business mode verges on being on an elaborate con. If anybody here has ever tried to cancel a TalkTalk subscription, they know exactly what I mean.
>> No. 23413 Anonymous
22nd July 2016
Friday 9:45 pm
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>>23404
I hate the Bong Bong Bong, and couldn't give a fuck about superhero films. My guess is that everyone will see the Munich story.

I'd say they know nothing. I have Adblock and NoScript, and make sure addthis (notorious tracking site) is always blocked. Facebook disconnect, too.
>> No. 23416 Anonymous
22nd July 2016
Friday 10:15 pm
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>>23408
>I think we should have stuff like this in the UK and it is to the detriment of our political discourse that we don't
Isn't that what HIGNFY and Mock The Week are? Comedians commentating politics and news?
>> No. 23417 Anonymous
22nd July 2016
Friday 10:17 pm
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>>23416

>Mock The Week

Alright lad, you've had your fun. Move on.
>> No. 23418 Anonymous
22nd July 2016
Friday 10:28 pm
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>>23417
One day you're going to cut yourself on those edges.
>> No. 23419 Anonymous
22nd July 2016
Friday 10:41 pm
23419 spacer
>>23418
Mock the Week is shit.
>> No. 23420 Anonymous
22nd July 2016
Friday 10:54 pm
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>>23419
Well, if you must insist then at least go down the road, not across the street.
>> No. 23421 Anonymous
22nd July 2016
Friday 10:58 pm
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>>23419
I don't know as I don't watch it, but that's really irrelevant to whether or not it plays a similar function to The Daily Show.
>> No. 23422 Anonymous
22nd July 2016
Friday 11:00 pm
23422 spacer
>>23420

What?

>>23421

>but that's really irrelevant to whether or not it plays a similar function to The Daily Show

It doesn't. You'd had to be soft in the head to think otherwise.
>> No. 23423 Anonymous
23rd July 2016
Saturday 12:23 am
23423 spacer
>>23416
>HIGNFY
No, because the only incisive commentary comes from occasional rants from Hislop, as though he's reading from a copy of his magazine he has in front of him. The rest is just cheap gags, half past two etc.

>Mock The Week
Get out.

>"OK, 'Two Weeks', what do we think that is? Frankie?"
>"Es it haow long it teks George Boosh tae get ah cloo?"
>Audience: HAHAHAHAHAHA THIS IS SATIRE
>> No. 23424 Anonymous
23rd July 2016
Saturday 1:11 am
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>>23423
I refer you to >>23420 for the correct orientation for your sharp edges.
>> No. 23426 Anonymous
23rd July 2016
Saturday 1:51 am
23426 spacer
>>23423
Just because you don't like the shows doesn't mean they're not essentially the same thing.
>> No. 23427 Anonymous
23rd July 2016
Saturday 2:37 am
23427 spacer
>>23426
They're not, though. Both are panel shows, and essentially lighthearted and flippant in their treatment of news (and Mock the Week is mostly sub-Whose Line Is It Anyway bits that have nothing to do with the news). Neither has anything like the long-form monologue or moral outrage of The Daily Show, Last Week Tonight etc at their best. I think that channel 4 thing with Charlie Brooker and David Mitchell was an attempt at a British version, but it died on its arse from what I remember.
>> No. 23428 Anonymous
23rd July 2016
Saturday 4:02 am
23428 spacer
I find the Daily Show to be more of an expanded version if the Facebook hugbox.
>> No. 23430 Anonymous
23rd July 2016
Saturday 4:03 am
23430 spacer
>>23427
They're shows consisting of comedians commenting on current events. That makes them essentially the same. Yes, there are differences but that's always going to be true. Maybe it would make sense if you said "I wish some of our current events shows were less lighthearted or flippant".

I imagine you're talking about 10 O'Clock Live, which went on for 33 episodes. I'm sure I can pull the same no-true-scotsman as you and find differences between that and The Daily Show too.
>> No. 23432 Anonymous
23rd July 2016
Saturday 4:54 am
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>>23424

This whole "edges" bollocks is the biggest /101/ going. You should be ashamed of yourself you unthinking, unoriginal, shit yank meme stealing, cunt.
>> No. 23433 Anonymous
23rd July 2016
Saturday 11:46 am
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>>23427
Yeah I made this point in the 10 O'Clock Live thread in /v/. It wished it was The Daily Show.

>>23430
Mate 10 O'Clock Live really did try to do what it is that I'm saying the UK should have. But the problems involved were that Jimmy Carr did the same stupid autocued gags he does everywhere else, David Mitchell ed a semi-serious discussion that always pointed out the obvious and broke no ground whatsoever, and Lauren Laverne's role was unknown/superfluous. Brooker was the best thing about it and the closest it came to The Daily Show - amusing commentary and mashups of the media and current affairs. But he does that stuff on his other shows anyway, and worse he doesn't do them daily. Weekly Wipe isn't even weekly. It's six episodes a year.
>> No. 23434 Anonymous
23rd July 2016
Saturday 11:56 am
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>>23433

What is Charlie doing at the moment now, anyway? I know another Black Mirror is coming up around Christmas, and he does his annual shows, but aside from a few 140 character twats he's been very secretive.
>> No. 23435 Anonymous
23rd July 2016
Saturday 2:30 pm
23435 spacer
>>23434
I guess he's compiling the Cosmos-length epic that is going to be this year's Wipe.
>> No. 23436 Anonymous
23rd July 2016
Saturday 4:01 pm
23436 spacer
>>23428
I'm in the same boat.

American politics shows are just full of misinformed shouting from unqualified people that I don't want to see in this country. Just look at John Oliver making a complete bellend of himself by taking Laibach at face value:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yeygA-n7AEo

>>23434
I imagine he has his hands full with the young kids and fucking his fit wife. The complete bastard.
>> No. 23437 Anonymous
23rd July 2016
Saturday 4:22 pm
23437 spacer
>>23436
John Oliver is shite though. He's always been shite. He's like if Marcus Brigstocke realised he couldn't cut it on the circuit over here and found he had an audience of idiots in America that he could make even less of an effort with.

Just because some of these comedic commentators are rubbish doesn't mean they all are. I repeat, we need a Jon Stewart over here. Intelligent, informed, insightful.
>> No. 23438 Anonymous
23rd July 2016
Saturday 4:25 pm
23438 spacer
>>23437
>John Oliver is shite though. He's always been shite.
Yet somehow he's managed to land his own show with sufficiently high ratings for HBO not to have cancelled it. It's almost as if the opinion of some random person on the internet might not accord with people that actually know what they're doing.
>> No. 23439 Anonymous
23rd July 2016
Saturday 4:33 pm
23439 spacer
>>23437
Has Jon Stewart ever said anything that went against the grain?

Go ahead, I'll wait.
>> No. 23440 Anonymous
23rd July 2016
Saturday 4:34 pm
23440 spacer
>>23438
James Corden is also successful over there. James Corden.
>> No. 23441 Anonymous
23rd July 2016
Saturday 4:35 pm
23441 spacer
>>23439
What's that supposed to mean?
>> No. 23442 Anonymous
23rd July 2016
Saturday 4:37 pm
23442 spacer
>>23439
I see a no-true-scotsman in your future.
>> No. 23443 Anonymous
23rd July 2016
Saturday 4:41 pm
23443 spacer
>>23440
You mean one of the creators and writers of Gavin and Stacey managed to be successful? Blimey. Next you'll be telling me that John Cleese went on to do something funny after Python.
>> No. 23444 Anonymous
23rd July 2016
Saturday 4:49 pm
23444 spacer
>>23441
>>23442
There are a number of claims being made that he is "intelligent, informed and insightful" I'd like to see some proof of that.

Fact is he is an entertainer who presents views and gags that conform with his audience to get maximum claps-per-minute. There is some irony in that given he has traditionally railed against the partisan nature of American society. That doesn't make him a horrible person but for example Stewart Lee will give what can be unpopular opinions against his audience and he deserves credit for it because it sets his comedy apart.
>> No. 23445 Anonymous
23rd July 2016
Saturday 4:51 pm
23445 spacer
>>23444
There you go pretending to know better again.
>> No. 23446 Anonymous
23rd July 2016
Saturday 4:55 pm
23446 spacer
>>23445
Might need to work on your retorts m9.
>> No. 23447 Anonymous
23rd July 2016
Saturday 5:54 pm
23447 spacer
>>23444
Is this the same Stewart Lee who in one of his routines said "I'm not interested in laughs, what I'm aiming for is a temporary mass liberal consensus"?
>> No. 23448 Anonymous
23rd July 2016
Saturday 6:38 pm
23448 spacer
>>23447

After which everyone laughed.
>> No. 23449 Anonymous
23rd July 2016
Saturday 7:23 pm
23449 spacer
Yes, it is very hot, and yes, the weather was quite different quite recently, please stop telling me about it every 18 seconds.
>> No. 23450 Anonymous
23rd July 2016
Saturday 8:07 pm
23450 spacer
>>23447

Stewart Lee is proficient but vacuous. He preaches to the choir and flatters the intelligence of his audience. This is what a genuinely subversive comedian looks like:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwMBGWfVSiY
>> No. 23451 Anonymous
23rd July 2016
Saturday 8:52 pm
23451 spacer
>>23450

>genuinely subversive

Modern day Trotsky alright.
>> No. 23452 Anonymous
23rd July 2016
Saturday 9:37 pm
23452 spacer
>>23450
That is not subversive, Louis CK works on shock humour like almost all American comedians.
>> No. 23453 Anonymous
23rd July 2016
Saturday 10:21 pm
23453 spacer
>>23452

Shock humour is something else entirely; study the work of Lisa Lampanelli if you can't see the difference. In this routine Louis CK is inviting the audience to empathise with nonces. That's the punchline - the audience are presented a plausible, logically consistent argument that forces them to relate to people that they loathe. Like all of CK's work, it's fundamentally existential. He finds meaning in the darkest recesses of humanity, in a manner that is understandable to a mainstream audience. Attempting that on a chat show is utterly audacious; succeeding at it is utterly brilliant.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08ITsgiL6v8
>> No. 23454 Anonymous
23rd July 2016
Saturday 10:24 pm
23454 spacer
>>23450

Ah, yes, the Louis CK "Nonces like to nonce" bit. I still remember the first time I heard it. It was like Lady Dianna's death, the bombing of Hiroshima and the November 9th attacks all rolled into one. Truly a bit that will live in infamy.
>> No. 23455 Anonymous
24th July 2016
Sunday 10:59 am
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The "word porn" page on Facebook. I'm currently shitting and hence on my mobile so I can't type out the full length rant I'd like to, but fuck it.

"OH LOOK AT ME I'M SO FUCKING #DEEP I'M SUCH A FUCKING #NERD WHO LIKES WORDS".

Fuck you, go back to watching the Big Bang Theory and thinking you're smart rather than shitting up my Facebook with this inane shit.
>> No. 23456 Anonymous
24th July 2016
Sunday 11:38 am
23456 spacer
>>23455

Completely agreed.

It's the same with every major political event, everybody, I mean everybody, suddenly becomes a constitutional expert and just posts utter drivel.

Really, really winds me up. Pseudo intellectuals should just off themselves. I know half of britfa.gs would be gone but it's a sacrifice I'm willing to take.
>> No. 23457 Anonymous
24th July 2016
Sunday 11:55 am
23457 spacer
People who use fagbook and whine about their fagbook grievances on britfa.gs.

(A good day to you Sir!)
>> No. 23458 Anonymous
24th July 2016
Sunday 12:00 pm
23458 spacer
>>23457

Is this a new theme now? We complain about the people complaining on here?

Already it's quite boring.
>> No. 23459 Anonymous
24th July 2016
Sunday 12:17 pm
23459 spacer
>>23457
People who whine about other people whining.
>> No. 23460 Anonymous
24th July 2016
Sunday 12:33 pm
23460 spacer
>>23457

>Fagbook

Are you taking the piss?
>> No. 23461 Anonymous
24th July 2016
Sunday 12:48 pm
23461 spacer
>>23455

On that note, 'porn' as a description for just about any interest presented visually is a vulgar and annoying habit. Food porn, bike porn, car porn, etc.

See also:
- 'Eargasm'
- People who become overenthusiastic about particular foods
- Calling yourself a 'nerd' because your have more than a passing interest in any topic to ever exist
>> No. 23462 Anonymous
24th July 2016
Sunday 2:12 pm
23462 spacer

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>>23457
Lad. Look at the title of this thread, then politely fuck off.

Adding to the Facebook grievance theme, this cunt. He's not an actual celebrity, so he had to put a fake tick on his name, and he posts the most banal, reach improving, shit -- 'tag your friend so they have to look at a picture of a spoon' -- it increases his reach and revenue. I always see them when I'm on my phone, so I've only just got around to blocking the wanker.
>> No. 23463 Anonymous
24th July 2016
Sunday 5:49 pm
23463 spacer
Today I've spent fuck knows how long trying to solve the problem of why my dishwasher wasn't draining properly. Checking the pipes for blockages or knots, tasks which take considerably longer as it's a built in unit rather than a freestanding one. Only then does my girlfriend, the one who insisted I drop everything to solve the problem that very second and blamed me for it happening by claiming I hadn't rinsed the dishes enough before putting them in, mention that she'd turned off the dishwasher and unloaded it a few minutes before the end of the previous cycle because she's a dopey cunt it looked done and she didn't see what difference it'd make. Turned it on again, programmed a new cycle and the first thing it did was drain the water away.
>> No. 23464 Anonymous
24th July 2016
Sunday 7:24 pm
23464 spacer
>>23463

On the bright side, you know your dishwasher a little bit better and I'm sure your girlfriend owes you a blowie for the mistake.
>> No. 23465 Anonymous
24th July 2016
Sunday 7:26 pm
23465 spacer
Your shit Chow-Mein I expressly told you I didn't want any of is in no way equal to the delicious special fired rice I ordered, so eating the rest of my order then leaving half of yours is not okay, okay, prick/mum?
>> No. 23466 Anonymous
24th July 2016
Sunday 8:44 pm
23466 spacer
I just had a degenerate bath because I decided to get a KFC whilst it was running (risky, I know, what if there was traffic?) and sat and ate it whilst in the bath.

The dog started scratching the door so I had no choice but to let it in because it was going mental over the chicken.

My dog just watched me eat KFC in the bath and now I feel weird.


I've also tried watching the Thick of It, which has been utterly shite so far, and I love a good politics show.
>> No. 23467 Anonymous
24th July 2016
Sunday 8:58 pm
23467 spacer
New Robot Wars. Dara is no Craig Charles and the lighting is really getting on my tits. Same for the camera shots. I've watched the original on Challenge recently so I'm not looking at this with rose-tinted nostalgia goggles.
>> No. 23468 Anonymous
24th July 2016
Sunday 9:02 pm
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>>23466
I think you got the wrong thread.
>> No. 23469 Anonymous
24th July 2016
Sunday 9:29 pm
23469 spacer
>>23468

Both of those things were minor piss offs for me.
>> No. 23470 Anonymous
24th July 2016
Sunday 9:48 pm
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>>23469

Could it be that we on .gs live such miserable lives that our weekend plans are indistinguishable from our petty grievances?
>> No. 23471 Anonymous
25th July 2016
Monday 1:29 am
23471 spacer
>>23466
Did you try to watch The Thick of It in an attempt to feel more sophisticated after letting your dog watch you eat KFC in the bath?
>> No. 23472 Anonymous
25th July 2016
Monday 4:04 am
23472 spacer
>>23471

Letting your dog watch you eat KFC in the bath does sound like something that would happen at the end of The Thick of It.

Glenn washes the stink of scandal from himself after a truly disastrous day. On the radio, Eddie Mair is asking a junior minister whether resignation is the only dignified outcome. A half-eaten pot of coleslaw bobs about in the bathwater like a coracle full of shredded cabbage. A doleful spaniel watches the dismal scene with a vague expression of shame, hoping for a scrap of chicken. Glenn drops the baked beans, mutters "Oh, fuck it", fade to black.
>> No. 23473 Anonymous
25th July 2016
Monday 5:42 am
23473 spacer
>>23468

I'm with them on the annoying dog thing.

My parents have an insecure shit of a dog who gives this shrill howl unless it gets constant attention. It needs to learn boundaries but it doesn't because they give into the bad behavior every time.
>> No. 23474 Anonymous
25th July 2016
Monday 10:29 am
23474 spacer
>>23473
My parents do exactly the same. Every time someone leaves the house it goes fucking mental. It will steal food off plates.

It's weird, they had no problem beating me as a kid, but they won't touch the dog.
>> No. 23475 Anonymous
25th July 2016
Monday 10:51 am
23475 spacer
>>23474
Have you pointed that out to them?
>> No. 23476 Anonymous
25th July 2016
Monday 11:22 am
23476 spacer
>>23475
I've pointed out that the dog is a little shit and they need to control it. It's not my dog though so I don't even try, I actually get a little schadenfreude when it shits on the rug.
>> No. 23477 Anonymous
25th July 2016
Monday 11:30 am
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>>23476
No, I meant their hypocrisy in their treatment of you and the dog.
>> No. 23478 Anonymous
25th July 2016
Monday 11:57 am
23478 spacer
>>23477
I wouldn't get anywhere, so there's no point in trying. They can't unsmack my arse or go back in time to train the dog properly when it was a puppy.
>> No. 23479 Anonymous
25th July 2016
Monday 3:04 pm
23479 spacer
>>23473

My mum got her first dog when I was in my late teens. I found it genuinely upsetting, because I saw her make all the same mistakes she made with me.
>> No. 23480 Anonymous
25th July 2016
Monday 3:38 pm
23480 spacer
Jesus, a 'I ate KFC in the bath with the dog watching' post really brought out a few repressed feelings here.
>> No. 23481 Anonymous
25th July 2016
Monday 4:47 pm
23481 spacer
>>23480
I feel we've come full circle back to this post >>23470.


On the note of rants about parents. Mine are having a massively self indulgent event for their 40th wedding anniversary. Complete with probably a hundred guests, church rituals about how great they are, and lasting in excess of 7 hours. And certainly me being co-opted into helping out. It's one thing to have a party, but to make people watch through a church service first, to me screams self absorbed.

I don't even like them, and I can't understand why anyone would make such a public display of what is ultimately a personal thing. Actually I do. It is because it's a fucking sham, they hate each other, but they are both too proud to get a divorce, and I think they believe if the lie they are happy is public it is more true, and now I get to witness the greatest over compensating for sunk cost since the Vietnam war.
>> No. 23482 Anonymous
25th July 2016
Monday 6:03 pm
23482 spacer
I'm a lonely cunt and really struggled maintaining friends late in uni and afterwards in the first bit out of it. My school/ A-level mates all but abandoned me.

In the space of about a week six different people from different groups I have hung out with at various points have asked me if I'd like to go for a pint or go for a night out/ do something.

I'm starting to wonder if a newspaper has accidentally misprinted a picture of me as a euromillions winner.


Now the problem is I can't meet all of them due to time commitments and even though I'll offer to meet at a different point it just looks like I'm giving a gentle 'no thanks.'

For fuck sake.
>> No. 23483 Anonymous
25th July 2016
Monday 6:10 pm
23483 spacer
>>23482

>Now the problem is I can't meet all of them due to time commitments and even though I'll offer to meet at a different point it just looks like I'm giving a gentle 'no thanks.'

It'll be fine. If you can make firm plans for a later date then do so, otherwise just remember to keep in touch.
>> No. 23484 Anonymous
25th July 2016
Monday 6:11 pm
23484 spacer
>>23482
I don't think it does if you offer a specific alternative.
>> No. 23485 Anonymous
25th July 2016
Monday 6:13 pm
23485 spacer
Steam games in "early access" that also have DLC.
>> No. 23486 Anonymous
25th July 2016
Monday 7:08 pm
23486 spacer
Webinars. They're like being in a very boring meeting with Max Headroom.
>> No. 23487 Anonymous
25th July 2016
Monday 11:40 pm
23487 spacer
I'm currently reading a bit about the BHS collapse and the pension fund malarkey, and I'm getting wound up at how people are discussing it.

It's like, a pension fund is money that employees contribute out of their wages, it's something that should be outrageous in the first place if a company just decides "You know what I think we'll just spend your retirement, it's okay it's an investment lol". And yet here we are with people who have paid into that fund their whole lives having their pension endangered, but the discussion already framed as "well you win some you lose some, that's business lol".
>> No. 23488 Anonymous
26th July 2016
Tuesday 12:38 am
23488 spacer
>>23487

Pension funds have to be invested somewhere, otherwise they'd just get eroded away by inflation.

The problem with pension shortfalls comes with defined-benefit schemes. If your pension scheme promises "we'll pay you two-thirds of your final salary for life, adjusted for inflation", that's very difficult to plan for. You don't know how long people are going to live for, what the stock market will do or what will happen to inflation.

The BHS pension scheme closed to new members in 2005, but it's in severe financial difficulty because of increasing life expectancies and poor performance in the stock market. The amounts that had been paid in by members simply weren't enough to sustainably cover the amounts being paid out. BHS were propping up the pension scheme, but can no longer do so because they're insolvent.

84% of final salary pension schemes are running at a deficit, with the total deficits amounting to £383bn. This isn't just about BHS, but about an unsustainable pension system. Thousands of companies are burdened with decades-old pensions arrangements that they're having to subsidise. We were all taken by surprise by rapidly increasing life expectancies and a slow economy.

An extreme example is General Motors, who have a global pension shortfall of around $21bn. They have contributed $9.2bn to the fund over the last five years from company funds; they have recently borrowed $2bn to keep the fund afloat. These pension liabilities were a major factor in their 2009 bankruptcy.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-36880230
http://seekingalpha.com/article/3976982-general-motors-pension-problem
>> No. 23489 Anonymous
26th July 2016
Tuesday 12:58 am
23489 spacer
>>23488

Well thanks for that, it does put things into a bit more of a rational perspective.

It's almost as if an economy based on perpetual inflation and growth is starting to seem like a bad idea.
>> No. 23490 Anonymous
26th July 2016
Tuesday 3:47 am
23490 spacer

message.png
234902349023490
No error code. No log message. No useful information whatsoever. Thanks, Microsoft!
>> No. 23491 Anonymous
26th July 2016
Tuesday 12:29 pm
23491 spacer
The audio from my Xbox to my TV wasn't working. So I mess about with the TV settings and get nothing, do the same with the Xbox setting and still get nothing. I change the HDMI cable over for another one, nada. Then finally I use both cables hooked up to my laptop and the TV still doesn't put any audio out. Bearing in mind the TV part of my TV is still a-okay with regards to audio output I'm totally at a loss as to what's wrong with it now.

Then I turned the television off and on again and it worked fine. A solution both irritatingly straightforward and frustratingly devoid of actual answers as to why it didn't work in the first place.
>> No. 23492 Anonymous
26th July 2016
Tuesday 6:39 pm
23492 spacer
>>23490

I think you're supposed to buy a new one now.
>> No. 23493 Anonymous
26th July 2016
Tuesday 7:35 pm
23493 spacer
>>23490

Try again as local admin (assuming it's not a network share).
>> No. 23494 Anonymous
26th July 2016
Tuesday 8:31 pm
23494 spacer
Today I dug a trench to prepare for the upcoming interreligious war.

About 15cm down I found a pile of ash with what I think is a brass button. I can tell it's a button and some dashes around the edge but can't make out the image on the front, it's too fucked up.

This is terribly frustrating that I can't identify it. I'm going to put my metal detector on charge overnight and go through my extracted mud and such as see if there's more, the working theory is that people used to burn stuff here (it's in the corner of the garden) and that someone's coat went in too, which would mean there's more.
>> No. 23495 Anonymous
26th July 2016
Tuesday 8:37 pm
23495 spacer
>>23493
Notice the icon that is selected has a little pipe on the bottom?

I eventually solved the problem after spending several hours running through Roy's script, which included managing to break something else. Turned out to be a nasty firmware issue on the NAS, which involved various combinations of switching between local auth and AD, rebooting, and down/upgrading of firmware.
>> No. 23496 Anonymous
26th July 2016
Tuesday 8:38 pm
23496 spacer
>>23494
Perhaps you've found a previously missing victim of Fred West or Peter Sutcliffe or someone.
>> No. 23497 Anonymous
27th July 2016
Wednesday 2:49 am
23497 spacer
>>23495

> Notice the icon that is selected has a little pipe on the bottom?

In that case you should have been using "net use" anyway. Or whatever's replaced it now that you have that powershell and what have you.

Glad you got it sorted anyway, lad.
>> No. 23498 Anonymous
27th July 2016
Wednesday 3:28 am
23498 spacer
>>23497
>that powershell

Sounds like Microsoft might be giving up pushing that one pretty soon, native Bash in Windows 10 is in Beta currently: https://blogs.windows.com/buildingapps/2016/03/30/run-bash-on-ubuntu-on-windows/. Slated for full release in the anniversary update.
>> No. 23499 Anonymous
27th July 2016
Wednesday 5:59 pm
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Smartphones at concerts. Up until recently I never witnessed this phenomenon because I usually attend small gigs with lesser known bands, but it seems the more popular the band, the more idiots there are trying to record videos for their instagram pages and twatter feeds.
>> No. 23500 Anonymous
27th July 2016
Wednesday 6:25 pm
23500 spacer
My own ability to judge how long train journeys will take. I was worried I'd be late but I'm a full hour early.
>> No. 23501 Anonymous
27th July 2016
Wednesday 7:08 pm
23501 spacer
>>23500
If only the operators would advertise some kind of schedule for their services, then you could get a better idea.
>> No. 23502 Anonymous
27th July 2016
Wednesday 7:25 pm
23502 spacer
A work mate of mine and I went to a short conference in the last 2 days and fuck me... did I find the cunt... irritating...

I feel bad for thinking this, but them I'm reminded by all the little social "faux pas" that make me cringe:

- Paying with 5p s for a 2.90£ pint, and re-counting at a understandably annoyed barman
- Constantly asking "what do you want to do?" after the conference, before bitching/looking bored at said thing I wanted to do.
- Making random noises when it was quiet, I wondered if he was retarded for a moment, but it appeared he wanted attention

This only scratches the surface, but lads - never been more exhausted from someone in my entire life. Fuck sake.
>> No. 23503 Anonymous
27th July 2016
Wednesday 7:40 pm
23503 spacer
The amount of British Youtubers who have that sort of speech impediment here they say "dis" or "vis" instead of "this" and horribly mangle the letters L and R. It's bloody embarrassing to listen to.
>> No. 23504 Anonymous
27th July 2016
Wednesday 7:54 pm
23504 spacer
>>23499

That's millenials for you.
>> No. 23505 Anonymous
27th July 2016
Wednesday 7:56 pm
23505 spacer
>>23501

In fairness, British railway timetables are mostly wishful thinking.
>> No. 23506 Anonymous
27th July 2016
Wednesday 10:30 pm
23506 spacer
>>23502
Well... This is odd. I was on a two day conference with a work mate. I had drinks obviously, and had paid with change (not 5 pences though). I also make random noises when it is quiet because I get uncomfortable.

I doubt it was you, mate. But just so you know, my workmate is a cunt because he is slow. Very, very slow.
>> No. 23507 Anonymous
28th July 2016
Thursday 3:42 am
23507 spacer
I was at a two-day conference, and saw this right pair of tossers. One of them paid for a pint in small change and made a load of odd noises when they were sat down. The other seemed a bit on the slow side and insisted on doing what sounded like some really tedious shit.
>> No. 23508 Anonymous
28th July 2016
Thursday 10:16 am
23508 spacer
>>23507
I was at a two day conference where I saw a pack of three retards, one of them kept howling like an ape during pauses in the speeches, one was a very very slow cunt, and the third just stood staring at the other 2 from across the room telling anyone who would listen that the other two were tossers, now that I think about it he had his hands down the front of his trousers the whole time.
I saw them again after the conference at the station, slow cunt was trainspotting, howler was howling at him, and the third was standing on the other platform yelling about what a pair of tossers they were and how boring this was, whilst masturbating furiously.
>> No. 23509 Anonymous
28th July 2016
Thursday 1:42 pm
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Fucking quinoa.

It's bland. It's tasteless. It looks like someone with a major threadworm infestation has shit all over your plate.

Seriously, fuck quinoa.
>> No. 23510 Anonymous
28th July 2016
Thursday 2:27 pm
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>>23509
I bet you're the type of person that breaks their spaghetti in two before throwing into the pot.
>> No. 23511 Anonymous
28th July 2016
Thursday 2:55 pm
23511 spacer
>>23510
Well, yeah. Otherwise it doesn't fit in.
>> No. 23512 Anonymous
28th July 2016
Thursday 3:02 pm
23512 spacer
>>23509
It is bland and tasteless but so is rice and bread and pasta. You're supposed to combine it with something.

That said, I've never seen it combined with anything tasty, so I'll grudgingly join the "fuck quinoa" camp.
>> No. 23513 Anonymous
28th July 2016
Thursday 3:47 pm
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Couscous is quite nice.
>> No. 23514 Anonymous
28th July 2016
Thursday 3:48 pm
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I'd eat more quinoa because I understand it's a superfood of some kind, but it's prohibitively expensive.
>> No. 23515 Anonymous
28th July 2016
Thursday 4:44 pm
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>>23503
I think it's a Southern thing. I know exactly the accent you're talking about.
>> No. 23516 Anonymous
28th July 2016
Thursday 5:19 pm
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>>23514
I don't eat it because there are cheaper and equally healthier alternatives such as buckwheat which is utterly dirt cheap in Polish shops. Taste very bland, but with the correct sauces it's actually quite good.

Quinoa is also bad because it's taken away the peruvian/bolivian locals crop that they rely on to live... Instead we have ponces swanning about this craze as if it's the only thing to exist.

>>23511
M8...
>> No. 23517 Anonymous
28th July 2016
Thursday 7:35 pm
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Ainsley Harriot couscous & risotto.jpg
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>>23513

Ainsleys couscous is a staple of my diet.
>> No. 23518 Anonymous
28th July 2016
Thursday 9:20 pm
23518 spacer
>>23503

Could you post an example? I can only imagine a Father Ted style Chinese accent.
>> No. 23519 Anonymous
28th July 2016
Thursday 9:30 pm
23519 spacer
>>23518

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0ue3T0IZXQ
>> No. 23520 Anonymous
28th July 2016
Thursday 10:39 pm
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>>23519
I listen to this every Christmas and have done ever since it was first posted here.
>> No. 23521 Anonymous
29th July 2016
Friday 1:13 am
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>>23520
a .gs anthem if ever there was one.
>> No. 23522 Anonymous
29th July 2016
Friday 4:42 am
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I'm turning into a stereotypical miserable old white cunt and I'm not even in my mid thirties yet. I want it to stop.

First of all I read an article in Vice about how "Brexit is already screwing over young people"; of the young'uns they interviewed two were pissed off because they weren't getting Erasmus funding, one was upset because his holiday was costing a few hundred quid more, and another one just whined about arguing with her parents over the result. Only one of them (ironically (or not?) the eldest of them) actually had a valid concern as he was about to lose his job as head of UK sales for a multinational.

I hate to be this curmudgeonly old bastard who feels like this whole millennial generation is made up a load of self entitled, short-sighted, whiny little shitbags with no back bone but articles like this really don't help.

Then I read https://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/jul/29/minister-wants-to-tackle-excessive-alcohol-consumption-at-uk-airports, saw the name of the minister, and my first shameful thought was "Oh great, Sharia at the airports now".

It's probably about time I just hanged myself off my door handle with a union jack flag, or something equally as "fitting". Sigh.
>> No. 23523 Anonymous
29th July 2016
Friday 4:47 am
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>>23522

So you basically want to go from being a sane individual to your average britfa.gs poster?
>> No. 23524 Anonymous
29th July 2016
Friday 4:51 am
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>>23523

Is the average Britfa poster dead? Have I stumbled into the online equivalent of Will Self's Dulston? It'd certainly explain a few things.
>> No. 23525 Anonymous
29th July 2016
Friday 9:52 am
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>>23522
This also pisses me off - so you're not alone. I voted remain, but for practical reasons, not because I want my holiday to be slightly cheaper.
>> No. 23526 Anonymous
29th July 2016
Friday 10:10 am
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>>23522
So things that don't affect you aren't valid concerns now?
>> No. 23527 Anonymous
29th July 2016
Friday 12:29 pm
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>>23525
I'm sure that's not the only reason the individual in question voted remain, it's just one of the immediate effects that he's observed.

And it's not just about a cheap holiday for him, he's thinking long-term:
>I work hard all year in construction and now my vacation is costing me around $650 more because of the shit exchange rate. I'm having to go into my savings to get that little extra bit of cash. It's just annoying, not least because I'm trying to save for a house at the same time. It costs an absolute fortune to buy a house regardless, and it's going to become harder and harder to buy one now.
>> No. 23528 Anonymous
29th July 2016
Friday 1:58 pm
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>>23522

Vice is always a bit shit, but young people have a right to be annoyed. They paid £9,000 a year in tuition fees, then graduated into a disastrous economy. The average income of a young person has fallen by 15% in the last ten years, while housing costs have increased dramatically. They're facing the prospect of retiring well into their seventies, while their parents are considering early retirement thanks to their generous final-salary pensions and billions in unearned housing wealth.

The research we have suggests that young people are brilliant - they drink less, they smoke less, they work harder at school, they're more likely to do voluntary work. They're less racist, sexist and homophobic than previous generations and less likely to commit crime. As a reward for being all-around good eggs, they've been comprehensively shafted.

We haven't really started to feel the pain of Brexit, but the collapse in the exchange rate isn't a good sign. I think a lot of young people are very legitimately worried that a lot of opportunities might be closed off to them.

Young people were strongly pro-remain, but Brexit has been foist upon them by older voters. The media blamed young voters for not turning out; many young people believed that narrative, but it was a complete lie. Reports that only 36% of young people voted in the referendum were based on exit polls from the last general election; post-referendum polls showed that 64% of young people voted.

I feel desperately sorry for young people. I do regular guest lectures at a few universities and colleges. Every year, the faces I see are a bit less eager and a bit more grimly determined. Students are becoming cynical and hardened. They know that they can't afford to fuck it up, they know that they won't get a second chance.

I always ask students about their ambitions when they graduate. I used to hear answers like "I want to build my own recording studio" or "I want to produce a hit record". Today, I increasingly hear "I just want a job, any job" and "as long as I don't have to flip burgers or mop toilets, I don't care". These are smart kids who should have the world at their feet, but they're already losing hope. It's heartbreaking.
>> No. 23529 Anonymous
29th July 2016
Friday 2:32 pm
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>>23528
> They paid £9,000 a year in tuition fees,
No we haven't.

Young people are whining narcissistic bastards, entitled and the worst age group in society, only to be bested by the next group of young people probably. I blame social media.
>> No. 23530 Anonymous
29th July 2016
Friday 2:36 pm
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>>23528>>23529
No, lads. Not again. We're not having the argument over tuition fees again.

By all means bicker to your heart's content over whether young people are entitled little shits, but not the tuition fees again.
>> No. 23531 Anonymous
29th July 2016
Friday 2:52 pm
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>>23529
>Young people are whining narcissistic bastards, entitled
Yes, they feel entitled to the same things that generations before them have been entitled to, and if anything they should "whine" louder to make sure they get it.
>> No. 23532 Anonymous
29th July 2016
Friday 3:21 pm
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Achtung remainjugend schnell schnell
>> No. 23533 Anonymous
29th July 2016
Friday 3:54 pm
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>>23532

Disqualified on Godwin's Law.
>> No. 23534 Anonymous
29th July 2016
Friday 5:23 pm
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>>23531
So it's greed and jealousy. The generation before paid for your tuition, now you should pay for ours! No, it doesn't work like that.
>> No. 23535 Anonymous
29th July 2016
Friday 5:34 pm
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>>23534
Since when? It certainly worked that way for the previous generations.
>> No. 23536 Anonymous
29th July 2016
Friday 5:35 pm
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>>23533
That, and also atrocious grammar and punctuation.
>> No. 23537 Anonymous
29th July 2016
Friday 6:05 pm
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>>23534
It certainly doesn't work like what you're suggesting either. Socialism is about collective responsibility and not dividing society even along generational lines. Graduates on the whole grow up to be higher earners and pay back their so-called debt to society through their taxation. So the previous generation didn't pay for the next generation's tuition, they paid for their own.
>> No. 23539 Anonymous
29th July 2016
Friday 6:22 pm
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>>23537
Taxation isn't normally hypothecated, so they weren't really paying for their own tuition. It would be more accurate to say that the generation before paid for their tuition, and had the system continued they'd be paying for the current generation. They're not paying anything back but rather paying it forward. I'm not paying for my primary education (never have, never will), but I am paying for the primary education of today's children. I didn't pay towards my stay in hospital as a child, but arguably did pay towards having a cancerous testicle removed as I had been working in the run-up. I am paying forward for other sick children staying in hospital, and other unfortunate lads who have to have a ball cut out. All of the cushy benefits that those over 50 have enjoyed were paid for by those that were paying tax at the time. This change in recent years where these things have been taken away could fairly accurately be described as a refusal to pay it forward.
>> No. 23540 Anonymous
29th July 2016
Friday 6:53 pm
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>>23539
Or a hit that we're willing to take for a better structured future.
>> No. 23541 Anonymous
29th July 2016
Friday 7:41 pm
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Andy Coulson was, for some inexplicable reason, giving a moron's rundown of why Brexit happened.

Don't chat shit about being a fluffy liberal network then hire cunts like Coulson.
>> No. 23542 Anonymous
29th July 2016
Friday 8:03 pm
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It's always been a minor point of insecurity, at least since first seeing the film, that I have the same first name as Ferris Bueller's mate.
>> No. 23543 Anonymous
29th July 2016
Friday 8:36 pm
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>>23540
Nice try, but no.
>> No. 23544 Anonymous
29th July 2016
Friday 8:47 pm
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>>23542
Can you make diamonds out of coal in two weeks?
>> No. 23545 Anonymous
29th July 2016
Friday 10:06 pm
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>>23544
No, about 10 weeks according to google.
>> No. 23546 Anonymous
30th July 2016
Saturday 8:03 am
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Sugar being piled into everything. I thought Ovaltine was a fairly innocent drink until I read over the ingredients/nutritional information and found it had more sugar than Nesquik mix.
>> No. 23547 Anonymous
30th July 2016
Saturday 3:35 pm
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I was just popping onto the internet to have a wank but I've ended up here and its been half an hour already. There is something terribly wrong when I procrastinate on such simple pleasures and manage to lose so much time without even realising.

>>23546
I recommend watching That Sugar Film if you want to be depressed. At this point I'm starting to give up reading the labels because it ruins everything.

I remember a few weeks back going to pick up a sandwich from Tesco and having to stop because I realised everything was borderline poison.
>> No. 23548 Anonymous
30th July 2016
Saturday 4:00 pm
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>>23547
Sugar is one of those things where you have to ask whether it still counts as a conspiracy theory if you have evidence of an actual conspiracy.
>> No. 23549 Anonymous
30th July 2016
Saturday 4:14 pm
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>>23548

I recall an interview not long ago featuring someone from a company producing one of the major cereals, I forget which. When asked if she thought that the company were contributing to epidemic, I was immensely frustrated to hear her come out with the same tired rhetoric of how it's the parents responsibility to take care of the child's diet, ignoring the aggressive marketing directed at children, monopolisation of that area of the market, and the very conscious decision to have universally high sugar across all of their products.

Even fucking muesli is abysmal.
>> No. 23550 Anonymous
30th July 2016
Saturday 4:18 pm
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>>23549
Are there any 'healthy' cereals? One of my friends is a scientist and he gave me a long spiel about why you shouldn't eat even things like Cornflakes but I can't actually remember the reasoning. I usually have Shredded Wheat.
>> No. 23551 Anonymous
30th July 2016
Saturday 4:32 pm
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>>23550
>Are there any 'healthy' cereals?

It's all a question of degree.

Oats are better than wheat. Older varieties of grain such as rye and spelt are probably better than wheat. Breads made using a long fermentation process are much better than bread made using modern fast-acting yeast. etc.
>> No. 23552 Anonymous
30th July 2016
Saturday 5:01 pm
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>>23550

I've just checked my granola and it is 22% sugar, FFS. I;m going back to the Dutch style breakfast of a roll, cheese, salad and jam and shite. Basically an early lunch. Or fry ups.

Thankfully I don;t usually eat cereal, and the only sugar I get comes from fruit, but fucking hell, this is supposed to e the healthy fucking option. I guess if I wanted to continue this I would have to go back to making my own and using honey as sweetener.
>> No. 23553 Anonymous
30th July 2016
Saturday 5:02 pm
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>>23552

Apologies, new keyboard.
>> No. 23554 Anonymous
30th July 2016
Saturday 5:14 pm
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>>23552

I make my own oats, or scramble eggs. They are pretty safe bets if you want a filling, nutritious breakfast without disproportionate amounts of sugar.

Since this is /101/, I'd happily do away with the terms 'healthy' and 'unhealthy' for foods. It's a false dichotomy that prevents people from thinking of food as something to be understood, enjoyed without guilt, and utilised for its effects on the body. It also allows marketers to get away with selling sugary granola as a 'health' food.
>> No. 23555 Anonymous
30th July 2016
Saturday 5:43 pm
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>>23550

Whole wheat is a highly nutritious food. Shredded Wheat is 100% whole wheat. Weetabix and Shreddies are 95% whole wheat, with a little bit of malted barley, salt and sugar for flavour.

There's nowt wrong with porridge either, as long as there's not a ton of added sugar.

The problem is our own self-delusion. We choose to believe that a bowl of sugary flakes can be healthy. We choose to overlook both common sense and the plain facts printed on the box. The cereal companies market to us, but it wouldn't work if we weren't willingly credulous.

The same principle applies to "low fat" snack foods. Believing that a chocolate bar or a packet of crisps can be healthy requires you to willingly suspend your natural disbelief.
>> No. 23556 Anonymous
30th July 2016
Saturday 5:52 pm
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>>23555

I dunno. I am currently on doctor's orders to eat a chocolate bar and a pack of crisps a day. I understand this is for a specific reason, mind.
>> No. 23557 Anonymous
30th July 2016
Saturday 6:11 pm
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>>23556

Are you sure he's not sponsored by the Nestle corporation?
>> No. 23558 Anonymous
30th July 2016
Saturday 7:50 pm
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>>23547
>That Sugar Film

I've started watching this today based on seeing it in the thread, and I'm disappointed. It's just another alt-documentary that wants to make corporations a villain, rather then give a proper argument. It has all of the shitty hippy philosophy troupes like natural = good, unnatural = evil (apparently since sugar is bad for you it is now it is not natural to eat).

They even managed to slip in a white guilt trip about how aborigines need the white man to provide them with dietitians, because native people are children who need the white man to look after them since they gave them access to soft drinks they have no self control.

The film maker has biases, that's fine no one makes a film like this with out having an agenda, but trying to hide it as if they are 'just discovering that x is bad' since they decided to make the documentary narrative is a trope I hate.

I was hoping for something more informative, something that made me feel like I knew a bit more, documentaries used to be educational, now they seems to be a story about a journey of personal discovery.

It isn't completely vapid of information, but it seems more interested in convincing you of an anti Corp agenda then teaching you why sugar is bad and how.
>> No. 23559 Anonymous
30th July 2016
Saturday 8:14 pm
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>>23558

It's hard finding good documentaries now, but there are a lot of good professional lectures on most subjects if you're interested in searching for them.

On the subject of sugar, I particularly recommend this one:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBnniua6-oM&ab
>> No. 23560 Anonymous
30th July 2016
Saturday 9:00 pm
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Someone I know got married today. She's already changed her surname on Facebook and tagged herself in a life event about it.
>> No. 23561 Anonymous
30th July 2016
Saturday 9:15 pm
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>>23560

Got to take care of the important stuff first, aye?
>> No. 23562 Anonymous
30th July 2016
Saturday 9:54 pm
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>>23560

Unfollow her unless you want to see nothing but honeymoon selfies for the next fortnight.

Two of my mates got engaged in the same week recently. I'm really feeling quite sanguine about all of it, because I still want to do drugs and go on all night benders but there's the unspoken consensus that this makes me the irresponsible man-child of our social group.

Life is gay.
>> No. 23563 Anonymous
30th July 2016
Saturday 11:23 pm
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>>23562

>Life is gay.

Your life isn't gay enough. Make friends with some gay lads, they're always up for getting mashed. They won't try and bum you if you don't want them to.
>> No. 23564 Anonymous
31st July 2016
Sunday 1:18 am
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>>23563

>They won't try and bum you if you don't want them to.

Lies, I bet you are one of those gay men who tries to convince drunk hetros "just to try making out with a dude it'll be fun" and with that the slippery slope to "how do you know you don't like a cock up your arse unless you've try it?" begins. I'm not saying it is is all gay men, but it is certainly a thing, and frankly I've had enough of it. I have good mind to next time I see a gay man in club act like I'm just trying to be their friend and buy them drinks, and then towards the end of the night keep insisting that we should find a quite place where I can penetrate their tight arse from behind with my throbbing hard cock and fill them full of my cum, and see how much THEY like it.
>> No. 23565 Anonymous
31st July 2016
Sunday 1:40 am
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>>23564
Is it true that not all gay men have anal sex? If so, then where do they stick their cocks in?
>> No. 23566 Anonymous
31st July 2016
Sunday 7:25 am
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>>23559
Oh fuckballs. I'll try again.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBnniua6-oM

>>23565
They just wank each other off mostly.
>> No. 23567 Anonymous
31st July 2016
Sunday 3:47 pm
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Some days I think I'll want children, and some days I get woken up before 8 on a Sunday by other people's children.
>> No. 23568 Anonymous
31st July 2016
Sunday 3:52 pm
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>>23567
That's what you get for targeting single mothers on Plenty of Fish.
>> No. 23569 Anonymous
31st July 2016
Sunday 9:49 pm
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Alton Towers banging on about having the first virtual reality ride in the country when I was going on one at American Adventure twenty years ago.
>> No. 23570 Anonymous
1st August 2016
Monday 1:08 am
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In the weekend thread I explained how I built a patio thing for my mum. I've spent so long down there browsing the Internet on my phone I've bought another 500mb data for six fucking quid because I've enjoyed sitting down here so much. Fucking rip off, I need to get a new contract.
>> No. 23576 Anonymous
1st August 2016
Monday 12:31 pm
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>>23570
There are better deals out there.
>> No. 23577 Anonymous
1st August 2016
Monday 3:43 pm
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I'm basically a massive prick on every competitive game I play online. I try not to be, but I'm just that much better than everyone else that it's hard for me to understand why other people have to be so crap.
>> No. 23578 Anonymous
1st August 2016
Monday 5:26 pm
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>>23577
It's usually the sore losers who are the massive pricks online. Congratulations on being a sore winner, I suppose.
>> No. 23579 Anonymous
1st August 2016
Monday 5:29 pm
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I've finally listened to Wildflower by The Avalanches and it's... a bit shit.
>> No. 23580 Anonymous
1st August 2016
Monday 6:48 pm
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>>23576
What's the all about?

>>23579
What does that mean?
>> No. 23581 Anonymous
1st August 2016
Monday 7:06 pm
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>>23578

I try to keep it under wraps, I don't yell down my mic or anything barmy like that. But DO NOT keep jumping about in front of my tank telling me to advance when every other vehicle that's gone behind this invisible line has been immediately killed.

Or spend the entirety of a 4v4 match AWOL.

Or just be incredibly awful while I'm having the game of my life.

I suppose what I'm saying is that people judge that Ronaldo chap too harshly. It's really annoying being great at a thing when everyone else is rubbish.
>> No. 23582 Anonymous
1st August 2016
Monday 7:13 pm
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>>23581
I'm like this too. I wouldn't say that I'm especially good but teamwork and communication are just not my thing when I'm playing a game (everyone else is an idiot anyway).

Maybe we're on the spectrum?
>> No. 23583 Anonymous
1st August 2016
Monday 7:49 pm
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My grandad is on his way out and I love him very dearly.

It's actually quite a big piss off but I'm strangely numb to it as it stands, I just feel frustrated that no matter what I do I can't help.

I've somehow managed to make it far with my parents and grandparents in good health and now I'm in my early 20s everything is going to shit.

It's eating me up inside everyday and the NHS have been shite, they care more about freeing up the next bed than they do about helping him.

As Blink-182 put it, 'well I guess this is growing up.'
>> No. 23584 Anonymous
1st August 2016
Monday 7:59 pm
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>>23583
>It's eating me up inside everyday and the NHS have been shite, they care more about freeing up the next bed than they do about helping him.

If it wasn't for NHS incompetence then my mother-in-law would have died. They failed to detect a blood clot but, because it took them so long to get a prescription from the doctor before they could discharge her, she ended up collapsing in hospital and not at home where she'd have almost certainly died.

The only close family member I've lost is my Nan, little over 7 years ago. My mum took us to see her body and it completely freaked me out, although I half expected her to open one eye before bursting out laughing because she loved a joke, because I'd stopped visiting when I knew she was on the way out as I didn't want to remember her like that. I still miss that laugh.
>> No. 23585 Anonymous
1st August 2016
Monday 8:59 pm
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>>23584
A few months ago I was admitted to hospital off the back of a visit to A&E. A few hours in, one of the nurses walks into the room, stares at my bed for a bit, then at her paperwork, and then says "Just making sure you're actually here. The computer doesn't want to admit you because it thinks A&E sent you home."

When I was discharged, there was supposed to be an e-discharge sent to my GP. When I called the surgery a couple of days later they couldn't find it (it's supposed to go within 6 hours), but agreed to an appointment anyway. The day before my appointment, a letter arrived from the surgery saying they'd received an e-discharge and inviting me to make an appointment.

That wasn't quite as fun as the time the nurse ordered up some dressings and the GP wrote me up for something that had been removed from the BNF. The surgery agreed to do a replacement prescription that day, and my usual pharmacy confirmed they had the item in stock so I could collect it on the way home. A couple of hours later they called me back saying the surgery had mistakenly given them the script for the dressings.
>> No. 23586 Anonymous
1st August 2016
Monday 9:00 pm
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The old bint on Only Connect is getting on my tits.

On the first round she pressed the buzzer instead of saying 'next' after the first clue and in the connecting wall she spent so long dithering during the final twenty seconds or so I nearly threw my remote at the screen.
>> No. 23587 Anonymous
1st August 2016
Monday 9:09 pm
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>>23586
So you're the other person that watches it? It's a small world.
>> No. 23588 Anonymous
1st August 2016
Monday 11:13 pm
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Despite the massive fall in the value of the pound against the dollar, I still somehow managed to only receive £11,036.00 from a $15,000.00 invoice. Thanks Santander, you bunch of thieving bastards.
>> No. 23589 Anonymous
2nd August 2016
Tuesday 2:46 pm
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Anglo fucking saxons. Scum, the lot of them.
>> No. 23590 Anonymous
2nd August 2016
Tuesday 5:14 pm
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>>23589
Are you historically challenged or is that a codename for white British?
>> No. 23591 Anonymous
2nd August 2016
Tuesday 5:37 pm
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>>23590
Fuck off back to Angeln.
>> No. 23592 Anonymous
2nd August 2016
Tuesday 5:41 pm
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>>23591
Get back in the sea, you finned cunt.
>> No. 23593 Anonymous
2nd August 2016
Tuesday 5:42 pm
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>>23592
Why don't you suck some more Norman dick.
>> No. 23594 Anonymous
2nd August 2016
Tuesday 5:48 pm
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>>23593
Because Norman's asleep and that would be sexual assault.
>> No. 23595 Anonymous
2nd August 2016
Tuesday 10:49 pm
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>>23246
This should be more of a /nom/ 101 than anything, but anyway, stopped over at a "fancy" pub on the way home, the one they sell pints for £4.50 with quirky names and pretentious descriptions. I got one - sat down, about to take a sip and I got the most pungent whiff.

It can only be described as something between stale piss and an unwashed ball sack, I hesitated but resumed to take a sip - BOOM, literal piss, it tasted salty and very pungent and sour - completely off. I'm as snobbish as the next CAMRA wanker but what the fuck was this shit? I grimaced, and took another sip, not as bad... there was a hoppy ale undertone, but it was marred by this pungency.

This clearly has gone off, so I walk up to the lad that served me and instead of turning into an accusative cunt-off, I ask "hmmm, this is an interesting beer - anything particularly unusual about it?", he describes that it's made with wild yeast only. Now, I'm not old, nor too young, but these fancy beers are really fucking moving too quickly for me - wild yeast? From where? An old man's desiccated pair of bollox? I smoothly asked him to take a hit of the smell, to be 100% sure that it wasn't gone off - Nope. That's what it's meant to smell like.

I can't deal with this - I'm at serious risk of getting ripped off and fed piss. I don't buy for a second other people genuinely enjoy it, emperors new clothes and all that.
>> No. 23596 Anonymous
2nd August 2016
Tuesday 10:53 pm
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>>23595
Most places will let you taste a snifter of the ales before you buy.
>> No. 23597 Anonymous
2nd August 2016
Tuesday 11:17 pm
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>>23596
I have the mistake of shooting first and asking question later.
>> No. 23598 Anonymous
2nd August 2016
Tuesday 11:24 pm
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>>23597
Who do you think you are, an American copper or something?
>> No. 23599 Anonymous
2nd August 2016
Tuesday 11:29 pm
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>>23595
Not being funny but if you taste a beer and it's off, just go to the barman and tell them it's off, and may I please have another? Pubs need regular customers to keep afloat so in any half-decent (even Wetherspoons) place they should just replace your beer with a different one no quibbles. Just saying that the beer is "interesting" is asking to be taken for a ride really and doesn't get across that you've just paid £4.50 for a beer that is unpalatable to you.

Whilst there are a small number of beers that are supposed to taste sour, most of the time sourness means that a beer is off. Even if it's supposed to taste that way, a good barman should tell you that before they serve you the drink or expect complaints.
>> No. 23600 Anonymous
3rd August 2016
Wednesday 3:04 am
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My phone signal at home is apparently so pathetically weak that something as simple as putting the handset in my trouser pocket is enough to cause it to go "no service".
>> No. 23601 Anonymous
3rd August 2016
Wednesday 5:39 am
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The ubiquity of lists. 12 Things You Don't Know About That Game/TV Show/Film You Like, 4 Things That Will Repulse Anyone Thick Enough to View This "Article", 7 Life Hacks That Will Revolutionise How You Masturbate, 12 Half Arsed Examples of Pop-Psychology Masquerading as News, and so on and so forth. I'm not outright opposed to them, but I'm starting to feel like a Year 8 English teacher or something, but I don't even have that low level of authority with which to influence the situation.

You guys are alright, stay away from Buzzfeed tomorrow. Unless you work there. Or enjoy any of their output.
>> No. 23602 Anonymous
3rd August 2016
Wednesday 9:29 am
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The human digestive system or more specifically how fragile it can be. I thought I could handle a bowl of branflakes with raisins but oh God my breakfast couldn't have taken more than an hour on its commute.

Now its half 9 and I can give up on doing anything energetic today. I was stupid I admit that but I used to love branflakes.

>>23601
>7 Life Hacks That Will Revolutionise How You Masturbate

This seems like a legitimate list and I'm intrigued to know more. Not sure I believe the google results I've gotten that tell me grabbing your balls at the point of ejaculation allows you to 'feel' the spunk leaving my sack.

Can one of you lads have a wank and tell me if you can feel anything? I'm not really up to try it right now.
>> No. 23603 Anonymous
3rd August 2016
Wednesday 9:37 am
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>>23602
>me grabbing your balls at the point of ejaculation allows you to 'feel' the spunk leaving my sack
Doing this would involve two people.
>> No. 23604 Anonymous
3rd August 2016
Wednesday 1:36 pm
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A thousand thousand voices cry out to me, louder ever louder, "eat another eclair and be rid of us forever!" but I know their lies well so with all my vitality I push them down to the darkest depths of my being. Still they hunger.
>> No. 23605 Anonymous
3rd August 2016
Wednesday 2:32 pm
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>>23599
I just didn't want to cause a fuss since I was only having one and I needed to leave straight after.

I have in the past, and to my surprise, have been thanked for doing so.
>> No. 23606 Anonymous
3rd August 2016
Wednesday 5:35 pm
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>>23605
It's not that surprising, good pubs don't want to be serving bad beer to customers and would much rather you tell them so they can replace the barrel rather than have people say nothing but complain to all their mates/trip advisor or whatever that their beer is shite.
>> No. 23607 Anonymous
3rd August 2016
Wednesday 7:56 pm
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There are few things more apologetic than someone who's just poured you a pint of line cleaner without noticing. That stuff stinks.
But yeah, any half-decent pub will be happy to be told that a pint's rough. Taking back only the final half-inch, though, may arouse suspicions.
>> No. 23608 Anonymous
3rd August 2016
Wednesday 11:15 pm
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Someone's nicked my satellite dish. It's been on my house since I moved in and I've never used it, but some builders came to do some external work so they removed it and fixed it to the scaffolding. The scaffolding was taken away yesterday morning, and I found the dish unceremoniously dumped in my neighbour's garden. I promply moved it to my own garden in preparation for it to go back up. After spending last night at my other half's, I've come home this evening to find it missing. Either that or I can't find it in the dark.

I've checked online and they're only about twenty quid on eBay, so evidently some really scummy toe-rags around here if they consider it worth nicking. Or the builders liked the look of it. Either way they certainly didn't waste any time.
>> No. 23609 Anonymous
3rd August 2016
Wednesday 11:30 pm
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When you accidentally get two non-white people confused with each other... I'm crap with names and I get people mixed up all the time but whenever it happens with brownlads I just feel like a racist prick and I'm pretty sure they judge me as such. Ho hum.

Happened the other night when I was near blackout-drunk and this guy let me call him the wrong name for what must have been 20 mins. When he told me he starts giving me this look like I just popped a Nazi salute and told him to fuck off back to his own country.
>> No. 23610 Anonymous
4th August 2016
Thursday 1:24 pm
23610 spacer
Really not a fan of the Daily Mail's new font.
>> No. 23611 Anonymous
4th August 2016
Thursday 1:55 pm
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>>23610
Can't say I've noticed...
>> No. 23612 Anonymous
5th August 2016
Friday 10:08 am
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>>23610
The way you can fix that is by never reading the Daily Mail ever again.
>> No. 23613 Anonymous
5th August 2016
Friday 10:58 am
23613 spacer
Outrageous call charges on customer service lines. What exactly am I paying for here, if I ask does the lass talk dirty to me?

I wouldn't mind as much if I didn't end up on hold. Its bloody extortion.
>> No. 23614 Anonymous
5th August 2016
Friday 11:50 am
23614 spacer
>>23613
You can always tell where these companies' priorities lie by how they handle customer contact. Ever found yourself sitting on hold for ages waiting for customer service? Call their sales line and see how quickly they answer.
>> No. 23615 Anonymous
6th August 2016
Saturday 4:00 am
23615 spacer
>>23613
Say No to 0870, lad.
>> No. 23616 Anonymous
6th August 2016
Saturday 7:50 am
23616 spacer
>>23613

You're seriously behind the times if you don't press the number that is the most random and least likely to be pressed by other people so you go straight through before saying you accidentally pressed the wrong one and have them deal with your problem anyway.

My company goes nuts if you tweet them too, so do that and I can guarantee somebody will be ready to call you back if it's a decent sized company.
>> No. 23617 Anonymous
6th August 2016
Saturday 8:19 pm
23617 spacer
When I watch Olympics on the red button channels the top and bottom inch of the screen are cut off.

I'm watching the women's volleyball and have no idea what the score is.
>> No. 23618 Anonymous
6th August 2016
Saturday 8:27 pm
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>>23617
I want to watch the women's beach volleyball but can't find how to get to it?
>> No. 23619 Anonymous
6th August 2016
Saturday 8:30 pm
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>>23618
Ah, no worries, got it.
>> No. 23620 Anonymous
6th August 2016
Saturday 8:31 pm
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>>23618
It's on channel 604 or something like that, at least on Freeview. Brazil have just won, anyway, so I'll watch a bit of fencing with their strange floppy swords.
>> No. 23621 Anonymous
8th August 2016
Monday 3:07 am
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Why didn't anyone tell me that gorging on fried chicken, chocolate and bananas would turn my stomach into an alchemst's hellscape?
>> No. 23622 Anonymous
8th August 2016
Monday 12:58 pm
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I took too much speed on Friday night and now I feel a right grumpy sod. Hopefully this black mood will lift by tomorrow morning.
>> No. 23623 Anonymous
8th August 2016
Monday 6:09 pm
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Pretty certain I'm never going to sort my life out.
>> No. 23625 Anonymous
8th August 2016
Monday 7:22 pm
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Websites that break middle-mouse-button functionality.

What sort of useless shithead of a website designer would even think of that? Oh yeah, probably a mac user.
>> No. 23626 Anonymous
8th August 2016
Monday 9:24 pm
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>>23623
There isn't much point in it, is there?
>> No. 23627 Anonymous
8th August 2016
Monday 10:32 pm
23627 spacer
Today my takeaway driver got lost and phoned me up for directions despite the fact he knew none of the roads and none of the landmarks I described. Wouldn't be so bad but I literally put the coordinates of my home on the notes section of the Just-Eat ticket.
>> No. 23628 Anonymous
8th August 2016
Monday 10:42 pm
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>>23627
Probably should have just put your address lad.
>> No. 23629 Anonymous
9th August 2016
Tuesday 12:27 am
23629 spacer
This is exactly what it feels like to have a psychotic episode.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yF6cBf133rA
>> No. 23630 Anonymous
9th August 2016
Tuesday 1:51 am
23630 spacer
>>23629
Take care of each other. Take care of each other. Take care of each other. Take care of each other.
>> No. 23631 Anonymous
9th August 2016
Tuesday 12:18 pm
23631 spacer
I have an a account with The Cloud that I can only use on my phone because I've forgotten the password, and like any sensible person I used fake details to register it.
>> No. 23632 Anonymous
9th August 2016
Tuesday 3:32 pm
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It's not until you try the finer things that you realise how shite everything you have is.
>> No. 23633 Anonymous
9th August 2016
Tuesday 10:02 pm
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>>23631
I do this often and it pisses me off. There must be a better solution for burner accounts like this.
>> No. 23634 Anonymous
11th August 2016
Thursday 5:47 am
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32 today plus humidity, so it easily felt like it was in the 40's. Same tomorrow apparently, and I just found out my cat died. Just going to drink and bake in the sun.
>> No. 23635 Anonymous
11th August 2016
Thursday 1:33 pm
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>>23634
I've had only two or three decent night's sleep in the past couple month thanks to the heat. It's not over yet.
>> No. 23636 Anonymous
11th August 2016
Thursday 1:34 pm
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>>23634

I envy you. It is 14 here and fucking freezing as a result. I am used to high 30s nowadays...
>> No. 23637 Anonymous
11th August 2016
Thursday 9:29 pm
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There are normal people having normal fun underneath me and it's reminding me how normal I wish I was.
>> No. 23638 Anonymous
13th August 2016
Saturday 6:07 pm
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I like to visit the DM solely to see what Peter Obourne has to say, but it's difficult to get through his articles with the mass of T & A down the right hand side of my screen.
>> No. 23639 Anonymous
13th August 2016
Saturday 6:19 pm
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>>23638
You can bookmark his column rather than having to go through the homepage. You just want to gawp at Are Chloe's wabbas.
>> No. 23640 Anonymous
13th August 2016
Saturday 7:00 pm
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image.jpg
236402364023640
Make it stop.
>> No. 23641 Anonymous
13th August 2016
Saturday 7:51 pm
23641 spacer
>>23640
That's nice. When I tried sticking Windows 10 on two machines, on the laptop it would randomly just ignore everything I did and on the desktop it just turned up with a cryptic error code to which there didn't seem to be a particular resolution other than "just wipe everything" - given that you have to go through the upgrade before doing a clean install to get your entitlement properly, that seemed to undermine the entire point of upgrading during the window. The worst part was on the laptop it appeared that the upgrade had indeed converted to a legitimate entitlement.
>> No. 23642 Anonymous
13th August 2016
Saturday 9:51 pm
23642 spacer
>"If you had children you'd understand"

Anyone who says that awful phrase in any context whatsoever. I do have a son, he's three and a good kid, and I am very grateful that his existence has not turned me into some sort of smug uberdad or paranoiac noncefinder. And I think of those who are childless as equals.
>> No. 23643 Anonymous
13th August 2016
Saturday 9:59 pm
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>>23641

Best part of an hour to swap a few menus around and break the paper map mod I was using for Skyrim. Wonderful stuff.
>> No. 23644 Anonymous
13th August 2016
Saturday 10:00 pm
23644 spacer
>>23640

Best thing I ever did was spend a few hundred quid extra and get a mac.

>>23642
Well done lad, unbelievable how bizarrely arrogant some people get when they have children.

Can't stand people who act like they've been elevated to a higher state of being and their special snowflake is the centre of the universe.
>> No. 23645 Anonymous
13th August 2016
Saturday 10:09 pm
23645 spacer
Shouldn't have had that third pastry.
>> No. 23646 Anonymous
13th August 2016
Saturday 10:10 pm
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>>23645

For some reason had a pack of Trebor mints for breakfast.

Not stopped shitting myself.
>> No. 23647 Anonymous
13th August 2016
Saturday 10:20 pm
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>>23644
"As a mother, I" is a convenient signal that the rest of the sentence can safely be disregarded.
Silver linings , etc.
>> No. 23648 Anonymous
13th August 2016
Saturday 11:22 pm
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>>23646

You are Peter Baynham and I claim my £5.
>> No. 23649 Anonymous
14th August 2016
Sunday 4:14 pm
23649 spacer
How does the grease from my face always end up on my glasses? There's no direct contact between face and lens.
>> No. 23650 Anonymous
14th August 2016
Sunday 4:36 pm
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My girlfriend's family are staying over for a couple of days, which means putting up with things like dirty pots being left all over the house. They left all the lights on downstairs last night.
>> No. 23651 Anonymous
14th August 2016
Sunday 5:01 pm
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>>23650
What utter barbarians, unfit to live in mud huts.
>> No. 23652 Anonymous
15th August 2016
Monday 11:51 am
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>>23650
I'm more impressed that they seem to find any reason to remove a pot from a kitchen. What are they doing, boiling pasta in the living room?
>> No. 23653 Anonymous
15th August 2016
Monday 12:08 pm
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>>23652
What if they made the food in the kitchen before bringing the pot into another room?
>> No. 23654 Anonymous
15th August 2016
Monday 12:18 pm
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>>23653
That's what bowls are for, unless you're a savage.
>> No. 23655 Anonymous
15th August 2016
Monday 12:31 pm
23655 spacer
>>23654
Hey I'm not the one doing it.
>> No. 23656 Anonymous
15th August 2016
Monday 5:03 pm
23656 spacer
The Olympics are sort of making me want to kill myself/others.

I mean, I don't mind the actual coverage, but I'm watching BBC News 24 and it's literally just telling me what's happening on BBC1.
>> No. 23657 Anonymous
15th August 2016
Monday 5:23 pm
23657 spacer
>>23652
Well, dirty plates and glasses. If you're a guest in someone's house and go downstairs to the kitchen at night whilst everyone else is in bed why you'd not bother turning off the kitchen and hallway lights once you're done is absolutely beyond me.
>> No. 23658 Anonymous
15th August 2016
Monday 6:44 pm
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>>23657
I have an airbnb guest who only washes the frying pan and spatula when he's about to use it again. It just sits on the oven.
>> No. 23659 Anonymous
15th August 2016
Monday 8:27 pm
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>>23657
>>23658
Have you actually mentioned this to the people or do you just post about it on the internet and hope they learn to behave like adults on their own?
>> No. 23660 Anonymous
15th August 2016
Monday 8:34 pm
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>>23659
I just wait until they leave and it becomes someone else's problem.
>> No. 23661 Anonymous
15th August 2016
Monday 8:50 pm
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>>23659
I've mentioned it to my other half, it's her family. Her brother is only 20 and he's started getting a bald spot.
>> No. 23662 Anonymous
15th August 2016
Monday 9:13 pm
23662 spacer
>>23659
Not these guys but I know similar people and I've mentioned it/talked to them more than once. Often the result is them throwing a hissy fit and nothing getting resolved, it's a pain in the ass and negativity I don't need in my life.
>> No. 23663 Anonymous
17th August 2016
Wednesday 5:30 pm
23663 spacer
People are crap at dirty talk, even the ones who get filmed.

My hair looks shit from the back. I also got called scruffy at work by some middle aged bint.

I cooked my tea an hour ago and just remembered about it.

Putting the minor in minor piss off.
>> No. 23664 Anonymous
17th August 2016
Wednesday 6:07 pm
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Titles that capitalize every letter. I know there is no universal rule on this but who the bloody hell do they think they are, not even God gets every letter capitalized.

>>23663
>People are crap at dirty talk, even the ones who get filmed.

I thought we had as a species evolved past taking our cues from pornography like Star Trek people did with money?
>> No. 23665 Anonymous
17th August 2016
Wednesday 7:17 pm
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>>23664
>not even God gets every letter capitalized
u wot m7?
>> No. 23666 Anonymous
17th August 2016
Wednesday 7:51 pm
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There's been fireworks going off a few nights in recent weeks. I'm a member of a local area Facebook group and every time it happens people sincerely start posting that it's drug dealers letting them off to let all their users know that they've got some gear in. It's some of the most hysterical yet mundane discussions I've seen in quite some time.
>> No. 23667 Anonymous
17th August 2016
Wednesday 8:28 pm
23667 spacer
Bunch of pikeys have moved in on a field behind my street.

It's right behind a school and forms part of a public right of way that everyone uses for dog walking and as a short-cut into town, but one of the cunts had the cheek to yell at me to git aff da soite this morning while I was merely walking past. Something you are legally entitled to do. Unlike parking a dozen carvans and a fleet of flatbed transits on a fucking public recreational area.

Absolute vermin.
>> No. 23668 Anonymous
17th August 2016
Wednesday 8:31 pm
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>>23667

It's weird, people tend to have sympathy for communities out of the ordinary to an extent, but even the most do-gooder lefty type people I know detest travellers.

They really are scum.
>> No. 23669 Anonymous
17th August 2016
Wednesday 8:38 pm
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236692366923669
I sent off for an Irish passport but had to send my British one as proof of ID.

They've kept it for fucking ages and now I just want my British one back so I can go on holiday.

Real fucking bored of waiting.
>> No. 23670 Anonymous
17th August 2016
Wednesday 9:05 pm
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>>23669
Please tell me you applied for an Irish passport because you are actually moving to Ireland, and not as some knee-jerk reaction to the Brexit vote.
>> No. 23671 Anonymous
17th August 2016
Wednesday 9:33 pm
23671 spacer
>>23670
Not him, but an extra passport is a nice thing to have. An Irish passport is particularly good in this respect because nobody gives a shit about Ireland and consequently the Irish don't have to put up with the same sort of bullshit as British or American passport holders do in some places.
>> No. 23672 Anonymous
17th August 2016
Wednesday 9:40 pm
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>>23671
It is kind of not okay since our government can strip you off your British citizenship if you have another passport/citizenship.
>> No. 23673 Anonymous
17th August 2016
Wednesday 9:56 pm
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>>23672

Isn't that only under some theoretical terrorist gibberish, or am I utterly out of the loop?
>> No. 23674 Anonymous
17th August 2016
Wednesday 10:06 pm
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>>23672
Yes, it would be awful to lose the passport that affords you fewer rights and privileges, wouldn't it?
>> No. 23675 Anonymous
17th August 2016
Wednesday 10:18 pm
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>>23670

Well I could move to Ireland anyway, regardless of being in the EU or not because we have a common travel area and under Irish law British citizens are not seen as alien and in British law Irish people are not seen as aliens.

That's why they're entitled to vote over here and we can vote over there.

I got an Irish passport because I never thought we'd brexit, but we did. I don't think we will leave the single market, but who knows, I wouldn't rule it out.

It's pretty simple too, if we do, I have a spare passport should I ever fuck up, I can still access all European rights, such as healthcare etc (I guarantee in the next 30-40 years there'll be some EU wide NHS type scheme), consular assistance (any EU member citizen can go to another EU member consulate, not that I wouldn't go to British first) and a few other reasons.

Doesn't hurt to have.

>>23672
I'm not a terrorist, and whilst I don't particularly trust the state, I'm 99.99 recurring % sure I won't ever be in a situation where the British government finds me to be an enemy of the state to the extent that they think of stripping my citizenship.

Besides, I'm pretty sure there has even been cases where they've stripped British born citizens of their citizenship even if it meant they've been stateless. There's no hiding from May.

I'm not, and am very, very unlikely to ever be in that scenario anyway.
>> No. 23676 Anonymous
17th August 2016
Wednesday 10:47 pm
23676 spacer
>>23675
>I'm not, and am very, very unlikely to ever be in that scenario anyway.
That's what they all say.

>>23674
That's not all you would losing though, is it, dulllad?
>> No. 23677 Anonymous
17th August 2016
Wednesday 10:49 pm
23677 spacer
>>23676
>That's not all you would losing though, is it, dulllad?
Oh, sorry, I thought you were talking about losing the British passport, not the Irish one.
>> No. 23678 Anonymous
17th August 2016
Wednesday 10:58 pm
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>>23677
No, mate. You would be losing your mum too, right?
>> No. 23679 Anonymous
17th August 2016
Wednesday 11:11 pm
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>>23678
Mate, I've been trying to lose her for almost two decades but somehow she keeps finding me.
>> No. 23680 Anonymous
18th August 2016
Thursday 2:35 am
23680 spacer
I had about three things I wanted to post about in this thread but I got distracted replying to some other posts and forgot what they were.

They were really annoying though.
>> No. 23682 Anonymous
18th August 2016
Thursday 7:42 am
23682 spacer
It's A Level results day and I haven't seen a single picture of young totty jumping in the air yet. Fucking femiñism.

(A good day to you Sir!)
>> No. 23683 Anonymous
18th August 2016
Thursday 9:01 am
23683 spacer
>>23682
Is that the Spanish version?
>> No. 23684 Anonymous
18th August 2016
Thursday 9:27 am
23684 spacer
>>23682
Putting sexy A-levels into Google produced an ad for "Didn't get your grades? Don't despair - brightknowledge.org - find out what you can do next". To which the obvious conclusion is that brightknowledge.org is an escort site.
>> No. 23686 Anonymous
18th August 2016
Thursday 11:06 am
23686 spacer
I cannot, regardless of what I do beforehand, wake up before 10AM. It's really pissing me off.
>> No. 23687 Anonymous
18th August 2016
Thursday 3:18 pm
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>>23516
Which sauces do you use m8?
>>23595
I sort of like the way you dealt with him.
>> No. 23688 Anonymous
18th August 2016
Thursday 5:40 pm
23688 spacer
I ordered through Ebay, and it was delivered by Amazon logistics.
You can't escape them.

At least it was delivered though.
>> No. 23689 Anonymous
18th August 2016
Thursday 5:55 pm
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People pretending to care about Syria because of a photograph of a child.
>> No. 23690 Anonymous
18th August 2016
Thursday 8:35 pm
23690 spacer
Earlier one of the ambient tracks from Conker: Live & Reloaded popped into my head and I began to hum it, now I can't recall a single note. I've noticed this phenomenon a lot with music. I don't find it irritating until it's something I can't even look it up though.
>> No. 23691 Anonymous
18th August 2016
Thursday 9:12 pm
23691 spacer
>>23690
Smash through this lad
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL51FF5BC09B73B607
>> No. 23692 Anonymous
18th August 2016
Thursday 11:17 pm
23692 spacer
That yoghurt advert for team GB presented by an American :/
>> No. 23693 Anonymous
18th August 2016
Thursday 11:43 pm
23693 spacer
>>23689
I don't really mind that, and I wouldn't call all professed concern feigned. What really annoys me is people claiming that that photo proves that we need ARE BOYS over there fighting Assad. As if increasing support for the child-beheading """"moderate"""" rebels is going to help children.
>> No. 23694 Anonymous
19th August 2016
Friday 12:25 am
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>>23693
>""""
What the shit is this nonsense?
>> No. 23695 Anonymous
19th August 2016
Friday 12:52 am
23695 spacer
>>23686
It's all about getting into the habit. Whenever I have extended time off my sleep pattern always turns to shit and getting up before midday feels like a heroic challenge, but when you have work to get up for early in the week your body should adapt to it.

I've also noticed there tends to be a weird 'sweet spot' where I can get up after 6 or 7 hours and be just about functional for the day, or I can go the whole hog and sleep for 10+ hours. Getting up after anything in between just feels extra painful for some reason.
>> No. 23696 Anonymous
19th August 2016
Friday 12:55 am
23696 spacer
>>23694
Three quotation marks.
>> No. 23697 Anonymous
19th August 2016
Friday 1:44 am
23697 spacer
>>23693
Are people really so worked up about it. I've seen nothing outside of the media and even then its barely in the top 10 most viewed articles on BBC News (to be fair its competing with a bloke who has to notify the police 24 hours before he has sex).

Anyway, it was a Russian air-strike so its less boots on the ground more aerial dogfights. The good news is it appears Russia has come to agree to a 48 hour pause when aid workers can now go into Aleppo as what appears a direct consequence of the photo. I dislike sentimentality but its done its job.
http://www.reuters.com/article/us-mideast-crisis-syria-un-idUSKCN10T0ZC

>>23695
>I've also noticed there tends to be a weird 'sweet spot' where I can get up after 6 or 7 hours and be just about functional for the day, or I can go the whole hog and sleep for 10+ hours. Getting up after anything in between just feels extra painful for some reason.

I've noticed this myself. Its like a special weekend pattern we learnt as children.

Although I contend that 10+ hours will leave you groggy just like too little. In fact any more than 9 hours has been correlated to a host of health problems much like too little.
>> No. 23698 Anonymous
19th August 2016
Friday 2:01 am
23698 spacer
>>23697
I'm going to guess it has something to do with sleep cycles you go through in the night, something like waking up from REM is easier than if you get interrupted from another stage by an alarm.
>> No. 23699 Anonymous
19th August 2016
Friday 4:52 pm
23699 spacer
The apples i bought yesterday got smushed in the bag and now they're soft and taste funny. My first world guilt compels me to eat them regardless.
>> No. 23700 Anonymous
19th August 2016
Friday 5:11 pm
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>>23699

You could make a crumble or sauce with them.
>> No. 23701 Anonymous
19th August 2016
Friday 5:21 pm
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>>23694
Unsurprisingly, it's been popularised by 4chan and originates from this:

>The use of triple parentheses or triple brackets, also known as an (((echo))), is an antisemitic symbol that has been used to highlight the names of individuals of a Jewish background.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triple_parentheses

The other lad's probably a member of Momentum or something.
>> No. 23702 Anonymous
19th August 2016
Friday 5:33 pm
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>>23701
>triple brackets

So not a triple quote is it you dildo.
>> No. 23703 Anonymous
19th August 2016
Friday 5:43 pm
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>>23702
No, but that's what it originates from and why 4channers use that and other variations, such as this one, whilst shitposting.
>> No. 23704 Anonymous
19th August 2016
Friday 5:45 pm
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>>23703
I think that's a bit of a stretch to assert as being anti-semitic.

It's still an eyesore and has no place outside of a .py file mind.
>> No. 23705 Anonymous
19th August 2016
Friday 5:59 pm
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>>23704
I'd agree, if it wasn't for the fact it's been popularised by 4chan solely because of its antisemitic connotations.

Hey-ho, bit of a mundane thing to discuss so let's get back to moaning about the weather or whatever.
>> No. 23706 Anonymous
19th August 2016
Friday 6:43 pm
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>>23703
>No, but that's what it originates from
No it isn't, you div, it's a way of emphasising scare quotes.
>> No. 23707 Anonymous
19th August 2016
Friday 7:08 pm
23707 spacer
>>23706
Yes. TO SCARE THE JEWS.
>> No. 23708 Anonymous
19th August 2016
Friday 9:28 pm
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>>23707
Something tells me that Nour al-Din al-Zinki probably isn't comprised of Jews.
>> No. 23709 Anonymous
20th August 2016
Saturday 12:40 pm
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>>23704
>I think that's a bit of a stretch to assert as being anti-semitic.
No, he's right. Normally I agree, they punch at shadows seeing antisemitism where it isn't, but this time he's on the money. Has to be (((brackets))) though, not ''''''quote marks''''''.

It started out from something called "Coincidence detector", which put three brackets around Jewish names on twitter. Of course, that got Shut Down rather quickly.

After they had duly Shut It Down a large portion of Jewish users attempted to subvert this by adding the brackets to their twitter names themselves as a show of defiance. Some kind of "taking it back" "that's our word now" bullcrap.

This backfired hilariously when wikileaks didn't realise the roots of this and commented on it (see picture). The tweet was swiftly deleted once Snowden realised what he'd said, but not before about 500 people on the other place's /pol/ had grabbed a screenshot.
>> No. 23711 Anonymous
20th August 2016
Saturday 2:07 pm
23711 spacer
>>23709
Actually it started as an echo sound effect which would be used on some nazi podcast any time the name of someone with a connection to Judaism was mentioned. The triple brackets were adopted as a written equivalent by its listeners on places like Stormfront and image boards, and then the Chrome extension got made.

Also, Snowden has nothing to do with Wikileaks.
>> No. 23712 Anonymous
20th August 2016
Saturday 4:05 pm
23712 spacer
I've just reached my letting agency to report an appliance fault. I've reached their "office is closed" message telling me their opening hours and to call back when they're open again. This message says their Saturday hours are 10am-5pm.
>> No. 23713 Anonymous
20th August 2016
Saturday 4:43 pm
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>>23712
You should report all that shit in writing.
>> No. 23714 Anonymous
20th August 2016
Saturday 4:50 pm
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>>23713
Last time I did that, I ended up waiting a week for them to fix an oven because they had apparently not received the written report. At least if you get someone on the phone or in person you can put them on the spot.
>> No. 23715 Anonymous
20th August 2016
Saturday 4:56 pm
23715 spacer
The endless cock-sucking of Usain Bolt that the BBC are engaging in. I mean, I like him, but he's just a guy that runs fast. I'm over it already.
>> No. 23716 Anonymous
20th August 2016
Saturday 5:48 pm
23716 spacer
>>23714

For anything that matters, communicate in writing with follow-up by phone. A paper trail is often invaluable.
>> No. 23717 Anonymous
20th August 2016
Saturday 7:35 pm
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>>23716
What if I record all my phone calls? Is it illegal?
>> No. 23718 Anonymous
20th August 2016
Saturday 8:19 pm
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>>23717

The Data Protection Act requires you to tell the other party, hence those "your call is being recorded for training purposes" blurbs when you phone a call centre.

I still think it's very useful to have things in writing, a) because it seems more credible and b) it's easier to organise and search text than audio recordings.
>> No. 23719 Anonymous
20th August 2016
Saturday 9:19 pm
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>>23718
The company needs to tell the customer because it's going to use the call for purposes that don't relate to that customer. Unless you're going to use the recording for something other than your own records you don't need to announce it, because that comes under the general exemption for "domestic purposes". This also covers a company with a call centre recording the call for its own records, but doesn't cover use the recording for training, quality, investigation, etc.

A bonus of the announcement is that regardless of whether it's recorded or recited to you by the live operator, it's safe to assume that the person on the other end knows and has given their consent to the recording.
>> No. 23720 Anonymous
20th August 2016
Saturday 10:16 pm
23720 spacer
>>23718

Yeah, as the following poster has mentioned that is not the case. I am off to bed, but there was a very important case a few years ago where a very senior judge advised everyone to quietly record all dealings with nay form of authority.
>> No. 23721 Anonymous
21st August 2016
Sunday 9:40 pm
23721 spacer
For whatever reason I'm watching Transformers. Channel Four keep breaking to adverts about a second before the end of a scene, so it's cutting off a bit of dialogue. They keep doing it and it's bothering me. I'd say the film is shit, but that goes without saying.
>> No. 23722 Anonymous
22nd August 2016
Monday 12:58 am
23722 spacer
Fully-grown adults that have a stick up their arse about swearing. I'll instinctively watch my language around little kids because I don't want to be the one teaching them new words but if you're an adult who can't let the odd Fuck slip past them without acting like they've been shot you probably need to grow up and realise it's just a word. It's usually the God squad cunts and all.
>> No. 23723 Anonymous
22nd August 2016
Monday 1:49 am
23723 spacer
The Brazilians have made an utter fucking hash of the Olympic anthem again.
>> No. 23724 Anonymous
22nd August 2016
Monday 8:24 am
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>>23721
> I'd say the film is shit, but that goes without saying.
You better not be talking about the 1986 version.
>> No. 23725 Anonymous
22nd August 2016
Monday 8:30 am
23725 spacer
>>23724
Do you honestly think Channel Four would show that at prime time on a weekend? Besides, isn't that the film where pretty much everyone dies so they can cash in with a whole new range of characters?
>> No. 23726 Anonymous
22nd August 2016
Monday 8:48 am
23726 spacer
>>23725
>Besides, isn't that the film where pretty much everyone dies so they can cash in with a whole new range of characters?
Yep. Kids in the cinema were bawling their eyes out. One of the best films ever made.
>> No. 23727 Anonymous
22nd August 2016
Monday 11:19 am
23727 spacer
>>23722
If you swear all the time the power of the words is removed. You've no doubt met someone whose every other word is "fuckin'" - why does that individual talk like that, and what do they say when they are actually upset?
>> No. 23728 Anonymous
22nd August 2016
Monday 11:27 am
23728 spacer
>>23727

"Bum".
>> No. 23729 Anonymous
22nd August 2016
Monday 2:22 pm
23729 spacer
>>23727

How about "go and rape yourself with a Nutribullet, you thundering shitcunt"?
>> No. 23730 Anonymous
22nd August 2016
Monday 2:24 pm
23730 spacer
Im walking through Harlow. It's like traversing a Fat Slags strip. Also I walked past a brown person speaking Polish. Very odd.
>> No. 23731 Anonymous
22nd August 2016
Monday 4:20 pm
23731 spacer
>>23729
And yet if they really are the kind of person for whom "fuckin'" is punctuation, I doubt they could be that linguistically creative.
>> No. 23732 Anonymous
22nd August 2016
Monday 4:27 pm
23732 spacer
>>23731


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_osQvkeNRM
>> No. 23733 Anonymous
22nd August 2016
Monday 4:49 pm
23733 spacer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pB3NlOUg-ps
>> No. 23734 Anonymous
22nd August 2016
Monday 5:07 pm
23734 spacer
>>23733
Touché.
>> No. 23735 Anonymous
22nd August 2016
Monday 5:12 pm
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>>23732
Yes but Fry is railing against people who think swearing in general is a sign of ignorance. My point is to do with swearing to excess. Swearing itself, and people who swear, can be very creative, as >>23729 demonstrated.
>> No. 23736 Anonymous
22nd August 2016
Monday 5:16 pm
23736 spacer
>>23731

I use fucking as punctuation. I use it to punctuate the day IYKWIM ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
>> No. 23737 Anonymous
22nd August 2016
Monday 5:30 pm
23737 spacer
>>23736

I use it to punctuate your mum.
>> No. 23738 Anonymous
22nd August 2016
Monday 5:52 pm
23738 spacer
>>23727

I think it's quite often a sort of linguistic buffer. If you have an accent where sentences are spoken quickly (or your thoughts move slowly), then invariably you'll find yourself slipping in lots of, like, you know, fuckin' basically, sort of, uhh, pointless words just to fill space while your mind catches up.They don't add anything to the meaning of the sentence, but they allow you to keep speaking in an uninterrupted flow.

>>23735

I swear a lot, and it's more habitual than anything else, my vocabulary simply has a lot of situation dependent words and phrases that happen to be swearing, but nevertheless find themselves in common parlance. I'm sure it has little to do with one's linguistic ability. Speaking out loud I'm a crude northerner who rarely manages a sentence without a swear word of some sort, but in writing I have the manner of a middle clash opinion columnist.
>> No. 23739 Anonymous
22nd August 2016
Monday 7:09 pm
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Screen Shot 2016-08-22 at 18.18.23.png
237392373923739
My Irish passport was due today, it's not even moved off the first stage.

They took my British one as proof of ID too so I can't go on holiday.

Fucking hell.
>> No. 23740 Anonymous
22nd August 2016
Monday 7:26 pm
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>>23739
Great, I guess that means we're fucking stuck with you now, you cunt.
>> No. 23742 Anonymous
22nd August 2016
Monday 7:30 pm
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>>23740

Er lad, I'd still be a British citizen either way you know? As in, I'll still be English and live here. They won't helicopter me over to Mayo and rename me Paddy O'laffety or something.
>> No. 23743 Anonymous
22nd August 2016
Monday 7:33 pm
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>>23742

Gerry mc'Positvely more likely....
>> No. 23744 Anonymous
22nd August 2016
Monday 7:34 pm
23744 spacer
>>23743
This one's gone over my head I'm afraid.
>> No. 23745 Anonymous
22nd August 2016
Monday 8:03 pm
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>>23739
Not being funny but why would you cut a new passport application so fine with your holiday? Neither the Irish nor public-sector bodies are renowned for their speed efficiency, combine that with the large number of knee-jerk reactionaries applying after the Brexit vote and you've got a guaranteed recipe for disaster.

I don't totally think that applying for a dual-citizenship with an EU country is a terrible idea, but it's going to take at least two years from whenever article 50 is invoked before we will be out of the EU and you'd likely benefit from it. So I don't see why you would rush and try to cram it in before you'd actually need the thing.
>> No. 23746 Anonymous
22nd August 2016
Monday 8:13 pm
23746 spacer
>>23745

I've not got one booked, and I'll easily get one in Germany or Eastern Europe for a week or two when it comes back, but I have this weird nagging where I can't rest until I get stuff like that (same with Amazon orders).

Only reason I went for the EU passport is because I flirted with the idea of it years ago and thought 'fuck it, there's more chance of Australia joining the EU than us leaving' then we actually left.

I'm 99% certain we won't leave the single market so I'll have wasted £70, but just in case I'm not taking that chance again, particularly as journalists are starting to call for change sto the nationality law there now (I was an Irish citizen automatically because a parent was born on the island of Ireland (bizarrely confusing, as said parent only ever held a British passport)) and although I'm sure I'd be fairly eligible, I'm taking no chances.

Maybe I'm young and naive but I didn't think radical political change like this actually happened anymore, so I don't want to take chances.

Besides, I think I'll always live in Britain, I couldn't be a prouder brit, but if somebody offered you a parachute for your plane you didn't expect to crash, you'd still take it right?
>> No. 23747 Anonymous
22nd August 2016
Monday 8:15 pm
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>>23742
We voted to chuck all the filthy foreigners out of the country back in June, m7.
>> No. 23748 Anonymous
22nd August 2016
Monday 8:18 pm
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>>23745
>knee-jerk reactionaries
Lad.

>but it's going to take at least two years from whenever article 50 is invoked before we will be out of the EU
At this rate, it's going to take the Irish that long to process all those passport applications.
>> No. 23749 Anonymous
22nd August 2016
Monday 8:19 pm
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>>23747
I find that joke to be in very poor taste.
>> No. 23750 Anonymous
22nd August 2016
Monday 8:23 pm
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>>23746

>I'm 99% certain we won't leave the single market

You also thought that Australia was more likely to join than us leave. So it looks like it'll be £70 well spent for you.
>> No. 23751 Anonymous
22nd August 2016
Monday 8:27 pm
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>>23750
I was exaggerating slightly but I was as certain as David 'trust me I know what I'm doing' Cameron that we wouldn't.

I'd be more than happy for me to have wasted 70 quid and me put it in a draw and never use it again as we stay in the single market, but whatever.

Can't hurt to have a second when I go travel anyway.
>> No. 23752 Anonymous
22nd August 2016
Monday 8:29 pm
23752 spacer
I've had 6 Music on for the past hour or so and I've remembered why I don't listen to it much. The constant reading out of self indulgent texts from people wanking over their taste in music is insufferable.
>> No. 23753 Anonymous
22nd August 2016
Monday 8:36 pm
23753 spacer
When you're trying to eat dinner and watch Star Trek but all you feel is envy for the dead.
>> No. 23754 Anonymous
22nd August 2016
Monday 8:37 pm
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>>23746
Out of interest, where do you work where you think you can just "easily" book two weeks off at that kind of notice?
>> No. 23755 Anonymous
22nd August 2016
Monday 8:38 pm
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>>23749
I wasn't joking, m9.
>> No. 23756 Anonymous
22nd August 2016
Monday 8:44 pm
23756 spacer
>>23754

What kind of notice? My boss is pretty chilled. I just work for a big corporate company and it's never really seemed to be a problem. Is there some sort of unwritten rule about leaving ages in advance?
>> No. 23757 Anonymous
22nd August 2016
Monday 8:48 pm
23757 spacer
>>23755
Kindly follow your leader then please 'm9'.
>> No. 23758 Anonymous
22nd August 2016
Monday 8:53 pm
23758 spacer
>>23754
Not him, but presumably somewhere sensible that actually gives half a shit about its employees. I've only ever been refused leave three times. The first was as a pimply teenager working in McDonald's, the second was a government agency who insisted I couldn't take a day for a family commitment during my first week, and the third was trying to get a week in summer after the parents in the office had basically block-booked August between themselves.
>> No. 23759 Anonymous
22nd August 2016
Monday 9:08 pm
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>>23758
Is this a bad time to say that my boss has actively been encouraging me to take a holiday?

He's been banging on about how much I have left and how I should take a break, so I'm sure he won't be pissed if I ask for two weeks off with two or more weeks notice.
>> No. 23760 Anonymous
22nd August 2016
Monday 9:08 pm
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>>23757
How does "no" grab you?
>> No. 23761 Anonymous
22nd August 2016
Monday 9:13 pm
23761 spacer
>>23757
>>23760

What are you two arguing about?
>> No. 23762 Anonymous
22nd August 2016
Monday 9:24 pm
23762 spacer
>>23761
Stormfag here apparently literally wants to kick all dem forreners aht, and I'm just expressing my disgust. That's all. Nothing to see here.
>> No. 23763 Anonymous
22nd August 2016
Monday 9:27 pm
23763 spacer
>>23761
Whether or not some leave voters wanted to send foreigners home. Apparently the well-documented fact that they did seems to have eluded some people.
>> No. 23764 Anonymous
22nd August 2016
Monday 9:29 pm
23764 spacer
>>23762
Good work lad, carry on, sorry to have disturbed you.

>>23763
There's a point. What are racists gonna do with dual nationals born here, who look and speak like them but hold a second passport? You can't send them home because they're British, but also something else. Must be really hard for their tiny brains.
>> No. 23765 Anonymous
22nd August 2016
Monday 10:01 pm
23765 spacer
>>23739
I still can't get my head around why you would send your passport of all things. Its a bit late now admittedly but this is one of those situations where getting a citizen card would've been worth it.

I mean what if it gets lost in the post - that is tens of pounds down the drain not to mention all the problems if some baddie happens to get hold of it. I lost my passport a few years back before a holiday and it was a fucking nightmare now that they closed down most of the passport processing centres.

Depending on how much a lost holiday is going to cost you at this point it might be worth claiming your passport has been lost anyway and take the hit for a new one at the emergency fee. Its not like Mary McGuinness at the Irish passport office is really going to give two fucks to check over whether the ID is still valid and if she does you could just claim the cash back saying your passport was valid and send the new one.

>>23764
Not him but if our government stopped recognizing dual nationality (I think it should tbh) that would more or less be that and people would have to choose...or it would be chosen for them based on circumstances.

Lets be honest and admit you are gaming a system built around addressing the problems of Northern Ireland for your own benefit. Its legal but you can't complain when someone calls you a wanker for it.
>> No. 23766 Anonymous
22nd August 2016
Monday 10:03 pm
23766 spacer
>>23764
>What are racists gonna do with dual nationals born here, who look and speak like them but hold a second passport?
They bear allegiance to a foreign power, they're filthy foreigners innit.
>> No. 23767 Anonymous
22nd August 2016
Monday 10:07 pm
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>>23765
>getting a citizen card would've been worth it.
He's trying to get a passport, not buy booze from the offie.
>> No. 23768 Anonymous
23rd August 2016
Tuesday 1:54 am
23768 spacer
>>23767
M8 that's what provisional driver's licence is for yh.
>> No. 23769 Anonymous
23rd August 2016
Tuesday 2:15 am
23769 spacer
>>23764
Take away their British citizenship.
>> No. 23770 Anonymous
23rd August 2016
Tuesday 6:44 am
23770 spacer
>>23769
>>23766
I honestly don't see the problem, there's also a shitload of dual citizens in the UK because of our colonial past. Are people really not over this shit? I think there's a huge difference between swearing allegiance to islamic state and swearing allegiance to another western democracy very similar to home.

Besides, I won't be swearing allegiance to anybody because I'm not naturalising nor am I doing any other route like that. Think about it, if you were born here and brought up here, you didn't swear allegiance to the Queen at any point did you?

>>23765
It depends what you mean by gaming the system. I mean yes, I'm using the fact that my parents were born in NI and I was born in England to get one, but all but one of my grandparents are actual Irish citizens from actual Ireland so I'd be entitled anyway, it just meant that I was classed as an Irish citizen already and could apply for a passport straight away instead of having to register on the foreign births register first.

Kind of like if two British people go to France and have a kid, the kid is still British in the British government's eyes, even if the kid grows up in France speaking French and basically being a French person. I can't help where my parents were born and I'm proud to be British.

It's weird, again, how people get upset about the strangest things on here. I'd hardly call somebody whose not even a tenuous link, but is classed as an Irish citizen claiming an Irish passport a bit wanky. But then again, Tony Blair has done the same for himself and his kids.
>> No. 23771 Anonymous
23rd August 2016
Tuesday 7:45 am
23771 spacer
Really, really can't stand the Olympics coverage. No one can possibly care what snacks they have on the plane back from Rio, can they?

>>23770

>Think about it, if you were born here and brought up here, you didn't swear allegiance to the Queen at any point did you?

Islington, luvvie, meganonce!
>> No. 23772 Anonymous
24th August 2016
Wednesday 11:49 pm
23772 spacer
When people won't reply to your texts but are still perfectly capable of liking your inane Facebook statuses. Are you passive-aggressively ignoring me or not!
>> No. 23773 Anonymous
25th August 2016
Thursday 6:08 am
23773 spacer
Normally I drink lager and red wine. Lately, due to the company I've been keeping, I've been drinking cider and white wine.

How the fuck can they stand it? Every time I take a piss it smells like rotten apples and fermented straw.
This is awful.
>> No. 23774 Anonymous
25th August 2016
Thursday 8:01 am
23774 spacer
I've somehow lost the ability of knowing when to use 'into' and when to use 'in to'.
>> No. 23775 Anonymous
25th August 2016
Thursday 9:02 am
23775 spacer
There's a fucking man on my fucking TV and I think the fucker's wearing a fucking pencil as a fucking accessory. Fuck me, I'm so fucking angry.
>> No. 23776 Anonymous
25th August 2016
Thursday 9:35 am
23776 spacer
>>23775
It's not exactly Evidently Chickentown but a lovely little rant nonetheless.
>> No. 23777 Anonymous
25th August 2016
Thursday 12:51 pm
23777 spacer
Windows 10... I like that they've blatantly ripped off taken inspiration from Ubuntu's multiple workspaces, but why does it have to be so poorly implemented? When I switch between workspaces I want the 'focus' to be on the last window I had open, not in no-man's-land so that I have to alt-tab back to actually do anything.
>> No. 23778 Anonymous
25th August 2016
Thursday 1:15 pm
23778 spacer
>>23777

Maybe you should just stop playing Football Manager at work then.
>> No. 23779 Anonymous
25th August 2016
Thursday 6:22 pm
23779 spacer
Sainsburys charge £1.50 for 6 easy peelers or £2 for 12. Charge £1 for 6, you bastards.
>> No. 23780 Anonymous
25th August 2016
Thursday 6:48 pm
23780 spacer
>>23779
A mate I used to walk home from school with always used to insist on buying a 2l bottle of coke when we stopped at a shop on the way because it was only 30p more expensive than the 500ml.

I hated that. It was well embarrassing walking beside a big fat fuck swigging from a massive coke bottle every 5 steps.

He's pretty much the only example I've ever encountered of the economist's utility maximising rational consumer.
>> No. 23781 Anonymous
25th August 2016
Thursday 7:17 pm
23781 spacer
>>23778
Do many workplaces use Windows 10 already?

Anyway, nah. I use Virtualbox and like the extra division between the Windows-land and Linux-land, rather than just treating it as another window.
>> No. 23782 Anonymous
25th August 2016
Thursday 7:19 pm
23782 spacer
>>23780
Wasn't this the sort of thing the new laws on sugary foods promotions was meant to tackle? Sounds like they've half-arsed it though.
>> No. 23783 Anonymous
25th August 2016
Thursday 8:34 pm
23783 spacer
>>23782
Pepsi Max. I go through four litres a day. I love the cherry flavoured one.
>> No. 23784 Anonymous
25th August 2016
Thursday 9:22 pm
23784 spacer
This utter shitcunt is driving aggressively around my area and revving his car as if it's going out of fashion. I stuck my head out the window earlier to see a yellow lamborghini doing about 50 around a bend that's meant for 10-15 km, kids play around here, people cycle, it's generally quiet and peaceful - but only until the fucking cacophony of a sputtering engine drowns out the silence. We get it mate, you have a small dick, your daddy paid for your weekend rental - now fuck off and smash into a brick wall quickly.

I've called the police (101 ironically), and they've received a few calls about it I was happy to hear. Hopefully they can impound this shithead.

If I see a yellow lambo parked near me, I'll be very tempted to give it a good keying or whatever.
>> No. 23785 Anonymous
25th August 2016
Thursday 9:26 pm
23785 spacer
>>23784
Leave some nails under the tyres. More that one, so that the cunt actually has to either get a tow or call out a van to sort it.
>> No. 23786 Anonymous
25th August 2016
Thursday 9:40 pm
23786 spacer
>>23785
So fucking temping... I would feel like a dick doing it, but I know these sorts, they deserve every ounce of hate.
>> No. 23787 Anonymous
25th August 2016
Thursday 11:43 pm
23787 spacer
>>23785
While we're on the subject, what is the best way to destroy a car belonging to the object of your revenge? In a purely hypothetical situation of course.
>> No. 23788 Anonymous
25th August 2016
Thursday 11:48 pm
23788 spacer
>>23787
I really dont know, besides keying "pedo" or something in a prominent location.
Superglue in all of the locks?
>> No. 23789 Anonymous
26th August 2016
Friday 12:09 am
23789 spacer
>>23788
I've heard you can ruin the paintjob by simply pouring out a bottle of turps onto the roof?
>> No. 23790 Anonymous
26th August 2016
Friday 12:20 am
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>>23784
Strange, usually that sort of behaviour is reserved for the "innit" crew with their souped-up corsa shitboxes.
>> No. 23791 Anonymous
26th August 2016
Friday 12:20 am
23791 spacer
>>23787

Gaffa tape all around the middle of the car taping the doors shut on a hot day. It'll strip the paint as they peel it off.

Sugar in the petrol tank, assuming it is accessible, and yes; super glue the locks. Hypothetically speaking.
>> No. 23792 Anonymous
26th August 2016
Friday 12:39 am
23792 spacer
>>23784

I have a loud, free revving car and it's an absolute nightmare parking it in my street. I usually turn the engine off and roll along because I don't want my neighbors to ASBO me.

I don't see the logic in tooling about in your supercar in a UK suburb/town - either cruise it at 20mph in the city centre to impress girls or whatever, or take it out to the fantastic B-roads we have all over the place. I suppose most Lambo drivers wouldn't dare drive down an actual technical road though.
>> No. 23793 Anonymous
26th August 2016
Friday 1:06 am
23793 spacer
>>23791
Glue in the locks is a classic. My uncle's in the security business (locks and alarms, not stewards) and every now and again he gets called out to assist the authorities in retrieving pirate transmitters, which all too often end up hidden in machine rooms with the locks glued up. His usual tactic was to just drill the fucker out and replace it, since apparently if you try and sort it chemically a good many times you still end up having to do it anyway.

Also, expanding foam in just the right places will piss them off a treat.
>> No. 23794 Anonymous
26th August 2016
Friday 1:13 am
23794 spacer
>>23787
Key every panel on the car including the roof. Nothing major just make sure you visibly get every one with a deep scratch.

Bodyshops charge by the panel so even for the same job it can add up to quite a bit and it will take longer to sort out than just bricking the front window.
>> No. 23795 Anonymous
26th August 2016
Friday 1:14 am
23795 spacer
>>23791

Cover a potato in epoxy or superglue and jam it in the exhaust(s).
>> No. 23796 Anonymous
26th August 2016
Friday 3:37 am
23796 spacer
Audience participation. I went to a sermon a friends aunt wanted me to go to, just out of curiosity really, and, well...Lads, I got faith healed. This was about 15 minutes after him calling me out after looking at me a lot and saying "How are you finding this, son?". All I could think was that I'd been rumbled and clearly didn't look like a believer. To be honest I'm mostly just annoyed that it meant someone got overlooked for my sake, when it probably would've actually meant something to them.
>> No. 23797 Anonymous
26th August 2016
Friday 10:25 am
23797 spacer
>>23796
Did fucking heal your apostrophe problem though eh lad.
>> No. 23798 Anonymous
26th August 2016
Friday 2:38 pm
23798 spacer
I know it's still early but mum has been the only person to say happy birthday today. I even had a lengthy exchange with a friend about attending her birthday party next week.
>> No. 23799 Anonymous
26th August 2016
Friday 2:57 pm
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P1450736.hat.jpg
237992379923799
>>23798
Happy birthday.

I hope you're feeling better.
>> No. 23800 Anonymous
26th August 2016
Friday 3:06 pm
23800 spacer
>>23798

Yeah, Happy Birthday. Treat yourself to some coffee cake and a nice few bottles of beer/wine and you never know you might come home to a surprise party. If you don't, that is what the cake and booze is for.
>> No. 23806 Anonymous
30th August 2016
Tuesday 12:38 pm
23806 spacer

allevyn-adhesive.jpg
238062380623806
A locum nurse put an adhesive dressing on a wound for me first thing. I suggested that maybe she might want to clean up the flaky skin around the edges (fallout from an adverse reaction to a previous dressing) so that it sticks better, but no, it'll be fine, she said. Almost four hours later and one side of the pad is hanging off. It won't stick back down because almost none of the adhesive is exposed thanks to all the flakes of skin stuck to it. Even worse, the gel lining that's supposed to stay on all week has managed to stick firmly to the pad rather than my skin.

Why does my practice nurse need to be off now of all times?
>> No. 23808 Anonymous
30th August 2016
Tuesday 1:53 pm
23808 spacer
>>23806

Don't get me started on nurses. These so called "angels of mercy" can kiss both sides of my hairy arse.
>> No. 23809 Anonymous
30th August 2016
Tuesday 3:55 pm
23809 spacer
>>23808
We can't mate, sorry. Infection control policies.
>> No. 23810 Anonymous
30th August 2016
Tuesday 5:16 pm
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quicksaver-cpr-face-shields-bulk.jpg
238102381023810
>>23809
Can you not just use a face protector?
>> No. 23811 Anonymous
30th August 2016
Tuesday 6:04 pm
23811 spacer
>>23806

Don't worry mate, I'm sure your suffering will be ended early when a newbie Junior Doctor puts a cannula in the wrong artery and pumps you full of sink cleaner they thought was metronidazole or some shit. They don't call August death month for nothing.

If you need surgery though don't worry- There were only three incidents of accidentally removed ovaries/testes last year nationwide. Those lot in the theatre know what they're doing.
>> No. 23812 Anonymous
30th August 2016
Tuesday 6:07 pm
23812 spacer
>>23811
>There were only three incidents of accidentally removed ovaries/testes last year nationwide.
In my case, one would hope they'd notice I'm already missing one.

SOD CANCER
>> No. 23814 Anonymous
30th August 2016
Tuesday 6:11 pm
23814 spacer
>>23812

Ah.

You may want to check you still have both your kidneys, in that case.
>> No. 23815 Anonymous
30th August 2016
Tuesday 8:17 pm
23815 spacer
>>23814
Wait, you mean I'm supposed to have two kidneys?
>> No. 23816 Anonymous
31st August 2016
Wednesday 1:14 pm
23816 spacer
The bananas I bought the last time I went shopping seem to be twice the size of they usually are. That might sound like a good thing, but they're like a meal all by themselves.
>> No. 23817 Anonymous
31st August 2016
Wednesday 2:38 pm
23817 spacer
Earlier today, my call blocker sent some junk caller to voicemail (/101/ that it can't pick up/hang up anymore, thanks Google!), and now I'm getting repeated notifications that I've got a message waiting. At one point, it's buzzing every few seconds as if to say
>You've got voicemail! You've got voicemail! You've got voicemail! You've got voicemail! You've got voicemail! You've got voicemail! You've got voicemail! You've got voicemail! You've got voicemail!
Naturally, when I try and call it the network signal is playing silly buggers.
>> No. 23818 Anonymous
1st September 2016
Thursday 3:32 am
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The last 4 night buses due have all spectacularly failed to turn up. I've almost walked the whole way. I wouldn't have minded so much if I didn't have to walk an hour and a half just to reach a route with night buses scheduled for it.
>> No. 23819 Anonymous
1st September 2016
Thursday 10:00 am
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>>23818
You're lucky to live somewhere that has a night bus service. Last night my wife and I went for a meal and a few drinks and got the bus into town. We both lost track of the time and upon realising that it was gone 10:20 we would have to call a taxi to get home. This is due to the last bus being at 10:10.
it cost 18 quid to go 4 miles.
>> No. 23821 Anonymous
1st September 2016
Thursday 3:45 pm
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>>23819
You're lucky to live somewhere that has a night taxi service. Last night my sister and I went to the shop to buy some stale bread and sour milk and got the bus into town. We both lost track of the time and upon realising that it was gone 10:20 we would have to walk 10 miles to get home, uphill. This is due to the last bus being at 10:10. Then father beat us.
>> No. 23822 Anonymous
1st September 2016
Thursday 7:10 pm
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The end of the M1. You go from J46 to J47 on the M1 to suddenly driving past J44 and J45 on the A1(M). It follows no logical order.

Also, my other half's insistence on washing the tin opener after every time it has been used.
>> No. 23823 Anonymous
1st September 2016
Thursday 7:40 pm
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>>23822

>Also, my other half's insistence on washing the tin opener after every time it has been used.

I regret not cleaning my can opener while it was still new and shiny. It's a bit past cleaning now.
>> No. 23824 Anonymous
1st September 2016
Thursday 10:20 pm
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My parcel is being delivered by Yodel.

I fear it will never arrive.
>> No. 23825 Anonymous
1st September 2016
Thursday 10:56 pm
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>>23824
They're the grinch of any ecommerce transaction. It's like retail therapy with an aversion twist at the end.
>> No. 23826 Anonymous
2nd September 2016
Friday 12:53 am
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I want to complain about the definition of the word millennial. To me a millennial is someone born on or after the millennium. Someone who has been brought up on Facebook and iPhones.

But the media use the term to refer to anyone born after 1981 (After Generation X).

Even though I was born in 1984 I don't count myself as a millennial.
>> No. 23827 Anonymous
2nd September 2016
Friday 1:22 am
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>>23822

While we're on road rants, how the fuck is a monstrosity like the M25 allowed to exist? Why did they restrict it to a single lane last night? Why does the vague Dart Charge system exist? How do you southerners not kill yourself having to deal with this cunty road all the time? Why don't they refer to it as the Orbital more than they do, because it sounds much cooler than 'M25'? Also, how is nobody getting nicked for driving in the red X'd lanes all the way down to a choke point, then forcing their way in? If they tried that up north they'd be dragged out of their car and ceremonially burned.
>> No. 23828 Anonymous
2nd September 2016
Friday 1:28 am
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>>23826

I agree, I think it encompasses two or three wholly different groups. You shouldn't be lumping together those like you or I, who experienced a time before mobile phones or properly useful internet, and those that were born into smartphones. There's got to be a huge difference between those two mindsets.

I think the cutoff should be remembering 9/11. Or fuck, even being consciously aware of Y2K.
>> No. 23829 Anonymous
2nd September 2016
Friday 2:06 am
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>>23826

I always presumed generation x went as far as the mid 80s and started in the 70s, and millenials were born in the 90s.

But apparently generation x reaches further back into the 60s. which I presumed were all baby boomers.

>Even though I was born in 1984 I don't count myself as a millennial.
I agree, I consider there to be a significant difference in my upbringing as someone born in the early 80s to someone born in the late 90s. Communication, access to information in the formative years were wildly different.

Even the most basic parts of every day life like how you organise meeting someone by calling a building and hoping they are in it at the time then take it on faith that they turn up at the right time and place. To be able to now hear a song once decide I liked it, find out what it is called and then listen to it again immediately as opposed to potentially never. If I missed an episode of a show not getting a chance to see it and try fill in the gaps during the next episode. Now not have to if I make a spelling error rewrite an entire page.
These are things that seriously change the way we approach and treat the world.

I picture talking to a 17 year old about what life was like and them having no frame of reference to even understand the implications of the technology differance as if it was another era. There is no way we are the same generation, and it has nothing to do with anything as superficial as our taste in clothes and music, or even historical events.

2000 is an arbitary marker that is picked because it is a nice round number to say it is a generational change, I'd say something around 95 where home computers and mobile phones for the common man began is a better generational cut off point.
>> No. 23830 Anonymous
2nd September 2016
Friday 3:02 am
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>>23826
Apparently "Millennial" refers to Gen Y born in the 80s and 90s whilst people born this side of the millennium are Gen Z. Seems a bit strange but there you go.
>> No. 23831 Anonymous
2nd September 2016
Friday 8:06 am
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>>23827
>If they tried that up north they'd be dragged out of their car and ceremonially burned

It happens all the time on the M1 and M62.
>> No. 23832 Anonymous
2nd September 2016
Friday 6:45 pm
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>>23824
I can't fucking believe it, it was actually delivered.
>> No. 23833 Anonymous
2nd September 2016
Friday 6:55 pm
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>>23832
Well that's a heart warming end to the story. Was it in one piece?
>> No. 23834 Anonymous
2nd September 2016
Friday 7:12 pm
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>>23830

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQP3bsv600s
>> No. 23835 Anonymous
2nd September 2016
Friday 9:01 pm
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>>23833

Yes. The problem is that it was a jigsaw.
>>