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>> No. 25832 Anonymous
24th September 2017
Sunday 10:16 pm
25832 BRITFA.GS /101/ MARK VII
The old thread is well over 30MB, so I think we're due a new one.

Some cunt threw a firecracker in front of my bike today. If I hadn't seen the little scrote and his little scrote mates running I wouldn't have noticed until it was too late.
388 posts omitted. Last 50 posts shown. Expand all images.
>> No. 26278 Anonymous
5th January 2018
Friday 9:03 pm
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It could be argued that a single tweet is a selective abstract from someone's feed and couldn't be further abridged without losing all meaning.
>> No. 26279 Anonymous
5th January 2018
Friday 9:55 pm
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In that case, I'm going to reproduce the entirety of Fifty Shades of Grey and tell the publisher that I'm only reproducing a selective abstract from the Fifty Shades series to the extent necessary to justify the context of a Buzzfeed "article" Every Word Of "Fifty Shades Of Grey" In The Order They Originally Appeared.

Either way, you need to meet both limbs of the test - selection and necessity. Quoting some random person off of the internet isn't strictly necessary for the context of the news story, because Person Posts Bollocks On Twitter isn't news.
>> No. 26280 Anonymous
6th January 2018
Saturday 1:21 am
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I want a job where I eat sweets and cured meat and I'm also a secret agent.
>> No. 26281 Anonymous
6th January 2018
Saturday 1:31 am
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You need to follow the methods of Sir Digby Chicken Caesar.
>> No. 26282 Anonymous
6th January 2018
Saturday 1:34 am
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I think I have an uncle who did that already. I suppose I'll get a real job then.
>> No. 26283 Anonymous
6th January 2018
Saturday 1:44 am
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>> No. 26284 Anonymous
6th January 2018
Saturday 5:31 pm
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Black pudding is just a poorly made sausage and if you enjoy it you're probably from the 1970's, like Thatcherism and molesting teenagers at the BBC.
>> No. 26285 Anonymous
6th January 2018
Saturday 5:39 pm
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I never enjoyed it so much as found it surprisingly un-awful considering what it's made of.
>> No. 26286 Anonymous
6th January 2018
Saturday 5:53 pm
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A lack of manners in general. People these days seem less likely to say "thank you" when you show them common courtesy.
>> No. 26287 Anonymous
6th January 2018
Saturday 5:55 pm
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I think that varies a lot by which area of the country you're in, whether people say thank you when you hold a door. I found they do in Manchester and don't in Nottingham.
>> No. 26288 Anonymous
6th January 2018
Saturday 5:58 pm
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Today was in York.

There were a few instances but, for example, if it was me and someone else waited at the other end of a passageway to let me through first then I'd thank them for it.
>> No. 26289 Anonymous
7th January 2018
Sunday 5:15 pm
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I want my friend to stop posting online.

She's nice [enough] in person, but on the internet she's completely insufferable.
>> No. 26290 Anonymous
7th January 2018
Sunday 5:19 pm
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You could just unfollow her.
>> No. 26291 Anonymous
7th January 2018
Sunday 5:50 pm
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Unfortunately, she's one of those people who talks in real life about things she's posted online. Well, pictures or videos from other people she's shared, so there's a reasonable chance she'd find out if I did that.

It was bad enough that she'd take up a hobby for a few weeks, become utterly obsessed with it, before getting bored; for example she joined the gym, would post videos of her using a Smith Machine and go on about how all the boys would gaze at her open-mouthed as she [used the machine to help her] lifted a [very minimal] weight, fully believing that she was stronger than them, and would bang on about how she was going to give up her job to become a personal trainer, then she gave up on it completely and has more than lost any shape she gained.

Now she gets into lots of online arguments with strangers, usually over something political. That's if you can really call them arguments; it's more just hurling insults at one other and using straw men. More recently she's taken up being abusive to people who complain on social media to companies, including an unpalatable episode where she was abusing a disabled man who'd soiled himself inside a shop because their toilet facilities were locked.

I think I get why she does it; if you meet her mother you can tell the apple didn't fall far from the tree. She's always been overly opinionated, one for making a storm in a teacup and getting involved in/manufacturing drama, but she's getting worse. She's been single and living alone for well over a decade now and she still hasn't being able to get over her last boyfriend two-timing her, actually she was the bit on the side without realising it, so she's quite bitter.
>> No. 26292 Anonymous
7th January 2018
Sunday 6:02 pm
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I admire her energy and drive.
>> No. 26293 Anonymous
7th January 2018
Sunday 6:09 pm
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I'm assuming it's her way of unwinding; she works in a customer-facing role as the live in manager of a chain hotel, think Travelodge only much cheaper, so she's kind of married to the job and is forever complaining about people who stay in her hotel.
>> No. 26294 Anonymous
7th January 2018
Sunday 6:11 pm
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You can unfollow her on facebook without unfriending her, and if she asks you about something she posted just tell her you don't go on facebook much anymore.

Or just ignore it? Sounds like if you tried to say something to her she's just post about it.
>> No. 26295 Anonymous
7th January 2018
Sunday 7:06 pm
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I'm toying with the nuclear option of saving screenshots of her online abuse, particularly if she's directing it at disabled people who've soiled themselves, to send to her employer. You've got to be pretty thick if you're going to abuse people on Facebook on public posts using your account with your full name on.
>> No. 26296 Anonymous
7th January 2018
Sunday 7:38 pm
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You just went from. "She's alright, but I wish she would stop picking fights online" to "I'm going to actively sabotage her life".
>> No. 26297 Anonymous
7th January 2018
Sunday 8:46 pm
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My brother was like this. I warned him about bad shit that could happen to him (like >>26295), so he he stopped.

He didn't really stop, I went on his computer when he left it unlocked just to snoop around and found out that he is a horrible cunt to everyone anonymously.

I can't really blame him because I'm a cunt too.
>> No. 26298 Anonymous
7th January 2018
Sunday 8:47 pm
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>I went on his computer when he left it unlocked just to snoop around
>I'm a cunt too
>> No. 26299 Anonymous
7th January 2018
Sunday 8:52 pm
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It's a bad habit. I used to fix laptops and computers years ago, and I used to snoop around way too much.
>> No. 26300 Anonymous
9th January 2018
Tuesday 9:10 pm
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It's just trapped wind but the all-but-ridden hypochondriac in me is still insisting my heart has exploded.
>> No. 26301 Anonymous
10th January 2018
Wednesday 6:39 pm
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Fuck Parcelfarce.
The website I bought some new boots off specifically said Royal Mail delivery, the fuckers gave them to parcelforce instead.

They have a policy of trying to redeliver the next working day if you're not in, so that means I lose a day before I can do anything to collect it.
Once they've tried to deliver twice, you can use their website to book them to send the package to a post office you can collect it from. The day it was meant to be collected rolled around, and nothing, tracking information said still at the depot, and the post office definitely hadnt had it. I tried again, got another confirmation number, and still nothing seemed to be happening. So today I tried calling the depot, and they've promised me it will be at the post office to collect tomorrow.
And no, I'm not collecting from their fucking depot because it's a pain in the arse driving into the middle of Birmingham.
>> No. 26302 Anonymous
10th January 2018
Wednesday 7:44 pm
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Parcelforce are part of Royal Mail.
>> No. 26303 Anonymous
10th January 2018
Wednesday 9:28 pm
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Why not get it delivered to the nearest Post Office in the first place?
>> No. 26305 Anonymous
10th January 2018
Wednesday 10:14 pm
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I don't understand why ecommerce firms cannot let you choose the shipping company (and charge you extra for the privilege if need be). If it happened, Yodel and Parcelforce would be out of business within a month.
>> No. 26306 Anonymous
11th January 2018
Thursday 12:58 pm
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This is directed at me, but I am pissed off at myself.

My credit card payment came out of my bank account putting me into overdraft two weeks ago, but I've been so busy I hadn't checked it (like a cunt), and I now owe HSBC £70 in overdraft fees.
>> No. 26307 Anonymous
11th January 2018
Thursday 1:04 pm
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They send me a text if I go into overdraft, maybe check if you can get the same?
>> No. 26308 Anonymous
11th January 2018
Thursday 1:44 pm
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My credit card payments go out in the mid twenties, so last month they went out on the Friday before Christmas but weren't reflected in my balances until the following Thursday.

I don't get this at all. It's all electronic these days and it's not like the computers don't work weekends.
>> No. 26309 Anonymous
11th January 2018
Thursday 1:48 pm
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It's in their interests to make it stupid so they can charge you for overdraft.
>> No. 26310 Anonymous
11th January 2018
Thursday 6:07 pm
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I've got the text alert set up now, cheers.

I've vowed once I am out of the current financial mess I'm in, I'm switching to Revolut. I've had one for a couple of years because I used it for some travel abroad (they give you the interbank exchange rate and you can add extra money in a flash), but they are moving toward a whole-thing deal now.

They give you a sort code and bank account number these days, and as soon as you make a transaction with the card, often before I can get it out of the reader, I've got a notification telling me what I spent and where.

It's proof that computers can work weekends, but most banks are shit cunts.
>> No. 26311 Anonymous
11th January 2018
Thursday 8:35 pm
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Monzo is also very good.
>> No. 26312 Anonymous
12th January 2018
Friday 3:47 am
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Do I have a duty of care to people on my Steam friends list?
>> No. 26313 Anonymous
12th January 2018
Friday 5:30 am
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Isn't Monzo one of those data harvesters where it turns out you're the product?
>> No. 26314 Anonymous
12th January 2018
Friday 10:48 am
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That's one three hour break from Steam per day. Which is quite frightening. I suppose they could be leaving it on while they idle in game for whatever reason? Depends what the application they've been spending the time in is.
>> No. 26315 Anonymous
12th January 2018
Friday 11:12 am
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Yeah, it's mostly Football Manager, which is a "game" that can quite happily idle in the background, and I've fallen asleep playing it plenty of times, but this lad seems to be slipping in and out of a coma.
>> No. 26316 Anonymous
12th January 2018
Friday 12:31 pm
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Normal banks also sell your data. The only way around it is to keep everything you have in cash, assets, or preferably, buried gold.
>> No. 26317 Anonymous
12th January 2018
Friday 12:50 pm
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Stop that, you cunt.

>> No. 26318 Anonymous
12th January 2018
Friday 6:30 pm
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My girlfriend's thought process.

Perhaps it's just me, but if I needed to order a takeaway online and also sort out my car insurance I'd order the takeaway first, so that could be cooked whilst I sorted out the car insurance, rather than doing the latter first and having to wait longer for food.
>> No. 26319 Anonymous
14th January 2018
Sunday 7:26 pm
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Twitter keeps suggesting I follow either Kantbot and his cohorts or alternatively a bunch of idiotic webcomic artists/video game people. I have no interest in either and certainly don't follow any part of either.
>> No. 26320 Anonymous
14th January 2018
Sunday 7:28 pm
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So? It's the algorithm, innit? You evidently follow people whose followers are likely to also be followers of these suggestions.

Who the hell is Kantbot anyway?
>> No. 26321 Anonymous
15th January 2018
Monday 10:14 am
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I wish spring would hurry the fuck up, everytime I wake up and look out my windows it's like I'm in Russia.
Everything is grey, brown and white with leafless trees looking dead. I need some fucking greenery and sunshine.
>> No. 26322 Anonymous
15th January 2018
Monday 10:25 am
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My boy refuses to wake up after 6am but it doesn't get light to half eight. I want to take him to the playground, damn it!
>> No. 26323 Anonymous
15th January 2018
Monday 10:51 am
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It's been half an hour and I'm still unsure as to whether this is a euphemism for your cock, or your son just prefers sleeping in in the mornings.
>> No. 26324 Anonymous
15th January 2018
Monday 11:06 am
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There is a middle aged couple on the train openly talking about doing ket. It's not even noon Goddamnit, what's happening out there, man!?
>> No. 26325 Anonymous
15th January 2018
Monday 11:56 am
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There are some quite obviously unrelated groups to those, who I follow but get no recommendations for.
>> No. 26326 Anonymous
15th January 2018
Monday 8:37 pm
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My fucking housemate. Why does it smell like burned shit? Because we have a fucking ceramic top electric cooker. "Yeah U know it smells, the cooker's dirty" you fucking what bitch? There's Barkeepers Friend and fucking Hob Brite under the sink, don't you god damn tell me "it's dirty" like there's nothing you can do about it you filthy worthless pile of dog shit. It takes less than a minute to scrub your shit off the hob, fucking do it.
>> No. 26327 Anonymous
15th January 2018
Monday 8:45 pm
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Chuck her out. She can't even clean up after herself. Wars have broken out over lesser things than that. Probably.
>> No. 26328 Anonymous
15th January 2018
Monday 9:58 pm
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They've also been resolved more quickly. We once went to war with Zanzibar over something trifling, and had the whole thing wrapped up in under an hour.

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