I am apprehensive about lockdown ending because it'll just remind me my brain is a mess because of me not because of some outside entity.
I have forgotten that I haven't had any friends or relations or anyone to talk to for four years previously, since summer 2016. The nature of how I feel has changed in the last six months, I am more bitter, envious, there is more self resentment where before there was just emptiness.
Personally I see end of lockdown as the perfect chance to reinvent yourself. I moved cities and haven't had a chance to make friends I assume the general receptiveness to social interaction post lockdown is something I can tap into.
>>30446 Why so I can continue this cursed existence indefinitely? Lockdown comes, lockdown goes, my life doesn't change a fucking bit I'm still the same sad loner subhuman freak I was half a decade ago when this started.
>>30447 Exercise
Do some kind of spiritual practice
Create something
What do you like? There must be things you think are good and you can surely maneuver yourself to make your life to revolve around them more.
My life has been on the rocks since 2015 and there are many days when this pandemic feels like the final nail in a coffin, but I have faith that there are better days on the other side of this and I am planning on correcting the things I don't like about my life that I have the power to change.
Then the lockdown is irrelevant, and the only thing that could possibly change your situation is you. If it is difficult or painful or not is irrelevant the point is only you could possibly change it.
I kind of know what you mean, OP. I've reverted back to NEEThood and when people ask me how I've spent lockdown "not even being arsed to watch TV shows I'd probably like" isn't much of an answer. I think my rage issues pre-date COVID though so that's on me.
