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>> No. 30805 Anonymous
8th June 2021
Tuesday 11:35 am
30805 Horrible Cunt; Needs to Die
I can't do anything, I can't make anything, my brain doesn't work, no one cares and I have no idea what to do about it or anything else. I can't even sit down and watch a film more than once a month, I can't even make fucking Letterboxd account to keep track of the films I don't bother watching. I haven't checked on my universal credit since December, meaning I can't even be bothered to be NEET properly. I am a non-entity. There is nothing to me beyond basic biological needs and occasional bouts of barely contained anger.

For example, I tried getting this thing called a "citizenship card" as a form of ID a few months ago via their website, and after taking my money the site told me I needed to speak to one of the many professionals I knew about having them sign something for me. Obviously I don't know anyone like that, so I just stopped. Keep the twenty quid, who cares? I don't. But that's not normal, is it? You're supposed to be at least a bit bothered when someone takes £20 from you and you get nothing in return? Not me though, I thought about it then and I'm thinking about it again now and it's just nothing, I couldn't give a monkeys.

Go to my GP then? Get some pills that don't do anything. You can't prescribe motivation. Begin some fruitless CBT counselling? I'd just lie to them for a few weeks and then stop attending.
Expand all images.
>> No. 30806 Anonymous
8th June 2021
Tuesday 12:11 pm
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What's the last thing you enjoyed doing?
>> No. 30807 Anonymous
8th June 2021
Tuesday 12:22 pm
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Have you considered telling a health care professional that you just lie to them and avoid speaking to them?

Being admitted to a psychiatric ward might be the best thing for you, or contacting Social work and telling them exactly what you just said to us, or both. I was in there for just over a Month in the short term stay ward, but they sent me to socialise with the long term stays. Pretty much all of them had issues which prevented them from functioning properly in society, there was a lass who had been raised by her grandparents in a rural hamlet and when they died she had to move South and discovered she had crippling Agoraphobia and a fear of large groups of people, especially people her own age, which is why I think they wanted me to socialise with her. She was a fantastic artist, a skill she had only begun to nurture while staying in the ward. She's been a resident there for 2 years when I met her.

Her art was really good. When I spoke to her last before I got discharged, I told her she should ask someone for help in cataloging her work as people would want to buy it. The thought had never occurred to her before, or the idea she could sustain herself using something she enjoyed.

I'm sure she isn't 100% independent, even though it's been 5 years, but the local council has a store unit in town that is set up as a gallery for local artists to show their work for free and the council sells it for them.

I've seen her work in there multiple different times since then. Even if she isn't living independently, she took that advice. She took a step towards it despite how much I'm sure it terrified her to take it, because her art had gave her something back she had lost or perhaps had never had before.

If you are struggling to cope, there are safety nets.
>> No. 30808 Anonymous
9th June 2021
Wednesday 5:02 pm
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>Being admitted to a psychiatric ward

Given the lack of bed space in psychiatric wards the likely hood of being admitted short of total crisis is slim.

OP - if you, or anyone that cares about you can afford it go private. NHS psychiatric care is beyond shit and sorry if this sounds cynical but yes your GP will no doubt bang you on AD's without a care if they are suitable for you or not and no doubt sign you up for 'talky therapy', waiting list 6 months plus.
Seriously if you can go private
>> No. 30826 Anonymous
14th June 2021
Monday 12:51 am
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Spending time with others, some years ago now. This was helped immensely by not feeling like a massive failure all the time.

That's just it though, I do "cope". I just avoid situations and block out any thoughts and that's how I make it through the day, but that's become all that I do. There isn't any room for ambition or concentration when you start feeling like an overboiling pot given half-an-hour with your own thoughts. Then again? What ambition, I think on some level I'm just an idiot, a mumbler and a psycho. A passing interest in history and my overly pompous grammar just misled those around me into thinking otherwise. In fact, it might have misled me also.

Whatever that costs, I can't afford it, sadly.
>> No. 30827 Anonymous
14th June 2021
Monday 1:25 am
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Where do you live? Are there any museums near you that you could volunteer at? I bet there are places of some sort which would love an articulate guy who cares about history, especially if such a guy is willing to do it for free. Do you have a job at the moment?
>> No. 31754 Anonymous
23rd June 2022
Thursday 9:30 am
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Has anyone got any better ideas yet?
>> No. 31755 Anonymous
23rd June 2022
Thursday 9:56 am
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I suspect that you'll have to think of one yourself because your mental state is just going to create reasons why you can't do anything that anyone else suggests.
>> No. 31756 Anonymous
23rd June 2022
Thursday 12:42 pm
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You could just say no, you know.
>> No. 31757 Anonymous
25th June 2022
Saturday 6:03 pm
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Take any advice with the knowledge that it might well do more harm than good:

I think you need to start with some self-compassion. In this thread you've been extremely self-critical, but it might be worth taking into consideration those circumstances beyond your control that led you to this point. A bit of a generic statement, but you've not said much about your background.

You mention you can't prescribe motivation, which is true, but I would also bet that you are one among many people (young men in particular) that have been given the modern expectation of extremely high independence and self-efficacy but very little in the way of encouragement, ideas, practical resources, or role models.

When I was in your position, I did seek out some help. Your cynicism isn't entirely unwarranted, (mental) health services are thin on the ground and there are many more people out there in need with lives just as fucked as yours but also with dependants and all sorts of other issues. That said, CBT or other counselling is accessible and can get you off the ground with some investment on your part. If you do try it, expect there to be a hit-and-miss process of finding someone decent and finding it in yourself to pursue it with good intentions.

There is also the process of finding things which make you actually want to live. I remember a time in my life when I felt so crushed and stifled and had such low self-esteem that basically the only activities I could stomach allowing myself to do were very basic and unequivocally "good". I exercised and read books, because those are about as close to beyond criticism as you can get, right? And most people can afford to join a library and go for a run or do pushups. Those were my very fundamental building blocks, my proof that I was least attempting self-improvement, showing I wasn't just a piece of shit, and no one could take them away from me.

This led to reading a lot of biographies. Reading about people's experiences made me curious about the world and also gave me some blueprints of what works in what circumstances, and slowly life became a new process of connecting the things I care about to things I could really do. I started to make plans to act on. Motivation and ambition crept up on me, and I had reasons to try to live life again. Take from this what you will.

>Obviously I don't know anyone like that, so I just stopped.

This is a minor point, but I looked up the card I think you're talking about and think you could provide almost anyone as a referee, as long as they're okay with being called at work and saying, "yes this person looks like the picture sent to you". You could ask basically anyone, an old schoolteacher, your GP, your dentist, your mum, even someone on .gs would probably do it for you, depending on your level of trust in a bunch of weird shed enthusiasts.
>> No. 31792 Anonymous
26th July 2022
Tuesday 12:44 am
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Combat sports lad. The cure for the pain is in pain.

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