|>>|| No. 30860
I feel like there's a few paths in front of me, and the longer I delay the decision, the more "in a rut" I feel.
I've been very ambitious and have had some small measure of success. I'm now thirty. I completed a postgraduate degree at the start of this year. I live in a comfortable place doing uninspiring but decently paid work, and right now I'm just saving up for the next step in life.
The problem is, finding that next step is far harder than I initially anticipated in a highly "competitive" field. I also feel haunted by the memory of living off very little money, and get a constant sense that I should be more financially secure; that someone my age should have a house, a car, at least a full driving license.
I hate the thought of sitting here and selling my life by the hour, only to give it all away again on the next big risky venture, achieving qualification X so I finally have a chance at job Y. I will probably do it, because stagnating in comfort and giving up my dreams is worse for me than going through another few years penniless. But increasingly I'm becoming aware of the tradeoffs: advancing years with no assets, no family, and a girlfriend who's wondering why we don't have kids.
The next few decades could look radically, shockingly different depending on how I handle decisions over the next few years.