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>> No. 30898 Anonymous
29th July 2021
Thursday 1:57 pm
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I never recovered from the end of university. I'm nearly 30 now and have not made a single friend or acquaintane since the day university ended and my established friendship group disintegrated overnight. I do everything alone. I drink alone, I go to the gym alone, my job is remote. I've never been in a serious relationship and likely never will be.

I don't fit in the world, I never had problems socialising or talking to strangers or whatever, but I don't fit in society. It happens around me. Crying now. I don't know what to do. Attempted suicide a few years ago, obviously failed. Nobody knows about it, because there is nobody to know about it.
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>> No. 30899 Anonymous
29th July 2021
Thursday 2:55 pm
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Most everyone loses friends after university and feels isolated so you're not rare in that sense. It's the nature of the modern atomised society. You should probably get yourself out there then (platonically) - volunteering, hobbies like acting groups, pick up a bass because every band needs a bassist.

I know this is a bloke answer but you have a problem and can act to alleviate it. You just need to do it.

>I've never been in a serious relationship and likely never will be.

Why not? There's some right ugly gits getting their end away every day. At the very least Jesus loves you.
>> No. 30900 Anonymous
29th July 2021
Thursday 3:15 pm
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The important thing to note is that when you were surrounded by people and in an environment where you could make friends, you *did* make friends.

It isn't a failing of yours that when you left that environment and its surrounding people, that you failed to make friends with the non-existent.

The question really is what environments do you want to find yourself in that have other people to meet?

We are spoilt, almost, that in our youth in that we get to marinate in these places without any effort on our behalf or even any knowledge that this is essentially a training ground we've been dumped in.

When we leave that zone we can be left wondering why things aren't falling in our laps any more, but the exciting part is that whilst nothing is handed to us, we now get to choose what people and places you truly want to be with.

I'm 29 and certainly had the same problem when I left university, I don't meant to sound condescending because I feel my tone is a little, but I think if you are a victim of anything, it is circumstance, not yourself, and you can absolutely turn this around.
>> No. 30901 Anonymous
29th July 2021
Thursday 3:22 pm
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The key to making friends is to know one social ringleader. They love being around people, they surround themselves with friends, and they always want more friends. Be that friend, and you can befriend the other friends. It really is that easy. You might even develop a romantic relationship with someone, although I certainly haven't.

What did you do with your friends at university? Do it again, and look for the most insufferable wanker in the room. For me, it was pub quizzes. Failing that, sex dungeons. Those are full of the most unlikable friendship groups you'll ever meet; you'll definitely be welcomed there.
>> No. 30902 Anonymous
29th July 2021
Thursday 3:52 pm
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>pick up a bass because every band needs a bassist.

Seconding that. My entire social life for the last ten years has mostly revolved around two sources of gravity: Being in a band and the people from work. There has been brief crossover with other circles, but when it comes down to it, those are my two sources of human contact and activity.

Male socialisation in particular seems to require a locus of activity. Footy lads bond over watching the game, gym lads bond over lifting heavy things, nerdy lads bond over battles of toy soldiers, stoner lads bond over the compulsive habitual consumption of cannabis; what they all have in common is that they have an excuse to hang out, and it's generally never acknowledged that they're really there for each other's company.

Lasses are generally better at the concept of meeting up just for the sake of having a natter. Trouble is as a bloke, it's pretty hard to make and maintain a genuine friendship with a lass. In the early stages she'll probably assume you're trying to get in her pants, if you actually become friends there's a good chance it's because she actually wants you trying to get in her pants, and even if you stay friends she'll eventually get a jealous boyfriend who is certain you're trying to get in her pants. Besides, when all is said and done, you probably are trying to get in her pants.

So yeah the tl;dr is as always, get a hobby.
>> No. 30903 Anonymous
30th July 2021
Friday 6:41 pm
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>>30902
> In the early stages she'll probably assume you're trying to get in her pants, if you actually become friends there's a good chance it's because she actually wants you trying to get in her pants, and even if you stay friends she'll eventually get a jealous boyfriend who is certain you're trying to get in her pants

Wise words. But yeah, get a fucking hobby.
>> No. 30946 Anonymous
21st August 2021
Saturday 2:01 am
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I want to neck myself again. I haven't spoken to a single human being since making this post. There's nobody to talk to.
>> No. 30947 Anonymous
21st August 2021
Saturday 3:08 am
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>>30902
Bit more abundant, but a proper session drummer is also in demand. A drummer that can vibe while live is important, but someone who can metronome properly if you record is something else. If you found one that can do both, you found the holy grail.
>> No. 30948 Anonymous
21st August 2021
Saturday 11:00 am
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>>30946

What do you fancy talking about?
>> No. 30949 Anonymous
21st August 2021
Saturday 2:45 pm
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>>30946
Do you talk to shop staff and bus drivers? For some people, they do but claim it doesn't count. It's certainly a way to get started. For one thing, it'll get you out of the house if you've just been staying home all day.
>> No. 30952 Anonymous
22nd August 2021
Sunday 2:13 am
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>>30949
"Cheers mate" is not talking to someone you patronising bastard.
>> No. 30955 Anonymous
22nd August 2021
Sunday 8:37 am
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>>30952
You're right, that's why he didn't mean it.
>> No. 30957 Anonymous
22nd August 2021
Sunday 10:52 am
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>>30946
I wish fewer people would talk to me. I was in the queue at Costa yesterday and some prick felt he had the right to just start chatting to me about my hat and the rain and how the shops are always having a closing down but never close down. I wish he'd have shut up and let me think about what cake I was going to get in peace.
>> No. 30961 Anonymous
22nd August 2021
Sunday 3:53 pm
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>>30946
Why didn't you pick up the bass like we told you to? Drums would work too.

Some more ideas for you:

-Amateur sports team. The more obscure the better because you're more likely to find other people who don't quite fit in the world.
-Martial arts. Same as above. Maybe try HEMA.
-Getting a motorcycle and joining a motorcycle club (not the ones that call themselves 1%ers though. they seem like a naughty bunch)
>> No. 30962 Anonymous
22nd August 2021
Sunday 3:54 pm
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>>30957
That's what happens when you wear a hat, baldie.
>> No. 30964 Anonymous
22nd August 2021
Sunday 3:56 pm
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>>30961

Volunteer at a care home or a food bank.
>> No. 30965 Anonymous
22nd August 2021
Sunday 4:02 pm
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>>30964
The lamest possible option but I suppose that would work too.

Meetup.com is also worth looking into.
>> No. 30966 Anonymous
22nd August 2021
Sunday 5:25 pm
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>>30964
Or a museum. I went to Bletchley Park this past week - the home of computing, geeks and radio - go and volunteer at a place like that, that you like.
>> No. 31198 Anonymous
31st October 2021
Sunday 12:02 am
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My birthday is in a couple weeks, as I've been feeling a little blue lately I tried to organise something but have found that I don't really have any friends anymore.

What's the most effective way of making friends in the big city. I don't have any musical talent and I'm struggling to find the kind of volunteering that would make me friends my own age (early 30s). I can have relationships and people seem to enjoy my company but I just can't seem to make friends. My career would be the obvious choice but I tend to build a wall around myself in the office and struggle in a group setting.

Are house shares a good way of making friends or is it a horrible gamble? Do I really have to listen to what they're saying about using bumble for friends or does that just lead to getting myself porked?
>> No. 31199 Anonymous
31st October 2021
Sunday 12:33 am
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>>31198

https://www.meetup.com/
>> No. 31200 Anonymous
31st October 2021
Sunday 12:45 am
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>>31198
If you go to a pub quiz on your own, you will be surrounded by other weirdos and, more importantly, the quizmaster will most likely be amiable and outgoing and eager to befriend you. He will also be friends with other people, whom you can then befriend too. You might need to do this a few times, but pub quizzes are great so it'll be worth it.
>> No. 31201 Anonymous
31st October 2021
Sunday 5:30 pm
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>>31198
House shares are a very expensive gamble. You could end up with a bunch of likeminded people and forge friendships, or you might live with selfish cunts and realise you're stuck with them for 12 months. I've had it both ways. I wouldn't recommend it as a way to make friends, just because it's so risky and could have you living in a shit environment for a year.
>> No. 31202 Anonymous
31st October 2021
Sunday 6:12 pm
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>>31201
Fuck, well I jumped the gun this afternoon then. Is there anything to watch out for? I'm at least trying to avoid living with just one other housemate.

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