You are an awful human being.

(Please give more details, it will depend a lot on her current health)

>>3703
From a mathematical standpoint, the chances of her making 105 or 110 are pretty much 0. At that age she beats the odds simply by living for another day.

>>3705
I'm not so sure about that. I have seen an article before which suggests that your average life-expectancy actually increases after the age of 80-90.

Once you pass 100 the main killers of elderly people such as cancer and heart disease become very rare. Instead pneumonia becomes the biggest killer.

>>3705
>From a mathematical standpoint
Lad.

OP here. I found a site that calculates life expectancy and put in her details.

---------------------------------------
Life Expectancy Results
Life Expectancy: 104.47 years
Lower Quartile: 102.21 years (75% chance you will live longer than this)
Median Lifetime: 103.76 years (50% chance you will live longer than this)
Upper Quartile: 106.06 years (25% chance you will live longer than this)
---------------------------------------

Basically, there's a 50% chance that she'll die in the next 3 years and 75% in the next 5.

>>3710

Your numbers correspond fairly well with the American SSA actuarial data:

http://www.ssa.gov/oact/STATS/table4c6.html

>>3711
Those were based on the population in 2010. Winding that back suggests an expected death shortly before her 100th birthday. She's at the point where trying to work out a date of death breaks down pretty badly. If the typical user here is still alive this time next week, their expected death has slipped by about six hours. If a 101-year old woman is still alive this time next week, her expected death has slipped by about six days. That's really into "any day now" territory.

You're a sick fuck mate, if this thread is legit.

If it is legit, your nan should consider transferring assets to her inheritors now so as to not get hit by the inheritance tax.

She went this morning. 102 years old.

>>4027

Sorry for your loss, lad... I guess? I'm not sure if I should be consoling you are congratulating you, here.

>>4027
Get in! Whatchu gonna buy?

>>4028

Well, she's lived her life so it's no big tragedy. The plus side is that I'll be able to finish off the mortgage soon.

What was her life like at 100 years old anyway?

I can't get my head around how you can afford to live that long. Do proper old folk get a bit extra in their state pension or is knocking out prescription medication that lucrative?

>>4028
He turned her thermostat down, I bet. OP you rotter.

>>4032
It came loose and got to 5 degrees by itself, honest guv.

>>4032

Do lower temperatures actually affect life expectancy in this way?

>>4034

Yes, for fucks sake. Have you never heard of hypothermia?

Old people are much, much more susceptible to it, because their tolerance is compromised. Keeping your core temp up after a certain age is a constant battle. There was even an episode of Still Game about it.

>>4035

>There was even an episode of Still Game about it.

Criminally under-rated outside of Scotland. The contrast between knockabout Last of the Summer Wine hijinks and the relentlessly bleak reality of life on a Scottish council estate is very powerful.

You look at the plot synopses for the first few episodes and wonder how anyone commissioned it as a sitcom. Jack escapes antisocial neighbours by moving into a dead man's flat. Victor realises that his son doesn't care about him after yet another disappointment. Auld Wullie dies of hypothermia, so Tam starts a sweepstake on the next person to die and half the estate fiddle their electric meters to stay warm.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D3eVonYn7eg

I have had impure thoughts about Isa. I am only mildly guilty.

Is this all one big joke or are people really this twisted over a bit of money?

I thought relatives waiting at the death bed so they could see what they get was a horror story rather than a rule.

>>4037
I'd rather a new iPhone, shoutout to me nan.

>>4037
How's tricks, Tarquin?

>>4040

Surely the wealthier someone is, the more likely a scramble for the cash of a dead relative would be?

>>4036
>I have had impure thoughts about Isa. I am only mildly guilty.

You have nowt to be ashamed of in that area.

>>4037
The mothers side of the family stopped talking to one another after my nan died and I think there was even a pointless punch-up involved because an uncle felt he was entitled to a bigger share.

Seeing my mum in tears after getting off the phone at quite a young age was all I needed to put me off keeping in contact with relatives. This isn't uncommon either, everyone I know has a story like this which is why when I die I'm taking you all out with me.

>>4042

>You have nowt to be ashamed of in that area.

I wouldn't exactly brag about it.