Jerry buys an old typewriter to write his new material “in a classier way,” but when he discovers that all his new jokes seem to be coming true in real life, he starts writing stories about himself with increasingly improved living conditions and romantic ventures. Laryngitis renders Elaine’s voice a monotonous croak, but the others insist she always talks that way. George keeps taking different routes home from work in order to avoid a particularly vicious-looking dog, but every route he chooses, no matter how circuitous or convoluted, seems to bring him right across its path. Kramer buys a street organ at a flea market and starts playing it on sidewalks throughout the city, mistakenly believing that any nearby monkeys will be drawn in by the music.
His life exactly the way he wants it, Jerry locks his typewriter away in a steel box in his bedroom closet. He returns to the main room of his apartment to find Kramer flipping through a stack of pages that had been left out.
“You’re a pretty self-absorbed guy,” remarks Kramer, chomping an apple borrowed from Jerry’s fruit bowl.
George and Elaine arrive shortly thereafter, within moments of each other. Jerry quickly cleans up the stacks of pages before anyone else gets a chance to read them and returns to the living room. He smiles at the others, happy to finally have some friends. They believe their own backstories, and he was sure that with some practice, he could grow to believe them himself."